(MARCHING BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
UHH.
(GROANS)
(SIGHS)
(WHISTLES)
(PLINK)
(PLINKING)
HA.
(CEREAL CRACKLING)
(SIGHS)
COME ON, BOY. LET'S GO TO WORK, BOY.
(SCREECH)
WE'RE LATE, MAN. WE'RE LATE.
OH, JUST GREAT. THERE'S WILKES.
GIVE ME THE KEYS! WHY?
JUST GIVE ME THE KEYS, MAN.
JUST HIT THE POSSUM NEXT TIME.
WE'RE FEDERAL AGENTS. DUH!
WHOA, WHOA, HEY, HEY!
HEY, YOU GUYS CAN'T PARK RIGHT HERE.
IT'S OK. WE'RE WITH THE GOVERNMENT.
OH, YEAH? IS THAT RIGHT?
WELL, I'M WITH MALL SECURITY.
NOW, YOU FEDERAL BOYS MIGHT CALL THE SHOTS OUT THERE,
BUT WHEN YOU'RE IN THIS MALL,
YOU'RE UNDER MY JURISDICTION,
AND THAT CAR'S PARKED IN A FIRE ZONE!
THAT'S RIGHT, SIR. YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? HILL.
OFFICER HILL, HOW YOU DOING, SIR?
I'M FINE.
I'M AGENT SIMMS WITH THE SECRET SERVICE AGENCY.
WE HAVE A MAJOR OPERATION GOING ON HERE,
AND WE'LL NEED YOUR HELP.
I SEE YOU'RE A SHARP MAN. CAN WE COUNT ON YOU?
YES, SIR, YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.
NOW, I NEED YOU TO WATCH THIS CAR.
GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE. CAN YOU DO THAT?
YES, SIR, I CAN.
WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT THIS CAR?
IF I TOLD YOU THAT, I'D HAVE TO...YOU KNOW.
OH, YEAH, I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND.
TAKE GOOD CARE OF. NO PROBLEM.
I GOTTA MAKE YOU AN HONORARY SECRET SERVICE AGENT.
YES, SIR.
GRAB MY SHOULDERS.
GRAB YOUR SHOULDERS.
FRISK ME. FRISK YOU.
TURN AROUND. GIVE ME A BUMP.
THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YES, SIR. GUARD THE CAR.
JUST GUARD THE CAR.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOOT HIM NEXT TIME?
(CEREAL CRUNCHING)
LET'S GO. WE'RE LATE.
HEY, I STILL HAVE MILK LEFT.
LEAVE IT.
WE'RE LATE...AS USUAL.
I'M NOT TAKING THE FALL
FOR YOU THIS TIME. LET'S GO.
MOVE IT.
GOOD MORNING. LUKE, HONEY,
UM, YOU'RE 10 MINUTES LATE.
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE AT 9:30.
WOODS, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
AGENT WOODS, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REMIND HIM OF THE TIME.
HE'S--HE'S A CHILD.
HE CAN'T KEEP HIS OWN SCHEDULE.
I--I DID. I--
LET'S GO. OK?
LET'S GO. OK.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD.
I THINK I FOUND IT!
WHAT? BARK.
(BARKING) AAH!
HOW YOU DOING, SIR? FINE.
MAJOR SIMMS, SECRET SERVICE.
AGENT DASH, SECRET SERVICE.
GOT A LITTLE BOMB THREAT HERE WITH THE DOUGHNUTS.
COULD WE CHECK OUT THOSE BEAR CLAWS?
YES, SIR.
NO! DO YOU WANT TO BLOW US ALL UP?
NO.
BE CAREFUL. GET THAT BIG BEAR CLAW.
DON'T USE YOUR HANDS, MAN!
USE THAT TONG! WHERE YOU FROM?
NOW, HURRY UP. MIGHT BE ON A TIMER.
AND GET THOSE LITTLE PEANUT CLUSTERS.
COULD BE A PEANUT BOMB.
AND GET THE LITTLE CANDY SPRINKLES.
THEY LOVE TO USE THAT.
THE ENEMY IS REAL HIP TO THE CANDY THING.
SIR, CAN WE CHECK A FROSTY LONG JOHN, PLEASE?
I DON'T THINK SO, AGENT DASH!
COULD YOU PUT THOSE IN A BOX FOR THE BOMB SQUAD?
YES, SIR.
FREEZE! I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.
DON'T YOU MOVE, DON'T YOU BREATHE.
ANY KIND OF PRESSURE COULD SET THIS OFF.
(SIRENS)
I DON'T WANT ANY INCIDENTS TODAY.
YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW AND I EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE IT.
THEN DON'T DRESS ME IN THESE DORKY CLOTHES.
YOU'RE NOT DRESSED IN DORKY CLOTHES.
YOU'RE IN NICE CLOTHES. YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME.
YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY.
I SHOULD CONSIDER MYSELF DORKY.
(CHUCKLES)
MY MAN? MY MAN? HAND ME THE BOX.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING IT FOR US.
YOUR COUNTRY THANKS YOU, OK?
YES, SIR. COOL. OH!
DASH, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU
WE CAN'T HAVE DOUGHNUTS ON DUTY!
SIR, THIS IS AGENT DASH.
I THINK YOU REMEMBER HIM FROM THIS MORNING.
ROGER? YES, SIR?
TELL CLIFF I CAN'T HOLD HIS DOG
WHEN HE GOES TO THE BATHROOM.
I JUST CAN'T. I HAVE MY OWN JOB TO DO.
OK.
YOU KEEP THIS UP
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE ON FIELD DUTY FOREVER.
IF MORTON HAD SEEN THAT, YOU'D BE LAYING YOUR BADGE
ON THE COUNTER RIGHT NOW. I MEAN IT.
COME ON, SIR, I'M JUST JOKING.
YOU'RE ALWAYS JUST JOKING,
AND JOKERS DON'T PROTECT THE PRESIDENT.
THEY STAY IN THE FIELD.
THAT'S NOT FAIR, SIR.
YOU KNOW WHEN IT COMES TO MY JOB I'M SERIOUS.
I'M OUT THERE, TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.
I'VE PROVEN MYSELF.
I KNOW YOU HAVE, SAMMY, BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
IT'S ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS.
THE DOUGHNUTS,
THE FAKE DOG POOP AT THE INAUGURAL.
NOT FUNNY, SIR. THAT WAS NOT FUNNY.
THE RIGHT ATTITUDE!
FROM NOW ON, IF I COULD GET CROWN,
I HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE, OK?
I'LL BUY MORE LITTLE BROWN UGLY CLIP-ON TIES.
I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.
I'M GOING BY THE BOOK FROM NOW ON.
THEY'LL CALL ME SAMMY "BY THE BOOK" SIMMS.
SIR, HERE'S THAT EXPLOSIVE COFFEE,
2 SUGARS.
Radio: PACKAGE IS APPROACHING THE MALL, SIR,
AND IT HAS ARRIVED.
OK, CARAVAN'S HERE. GET OUT THERE.
YES, SIR.
LEAVE THE DOUGHNUTS!
OK, SIR.
PUT THE BEAR CLAW BACK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
(MARCHING BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SIRENS)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
MOM, LOOK AT ALL THESE CAMERAS!
I'M NOT GOING IN THERE.
OF COURSE YOU ARE. WE DO THIS EVERY YEAR.
I'M NOT GOING IN THERE.
DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOUR FATHER?
WHY NOT? AT LEAST I'D GET TO TALK TO HIM.
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS HARD,
BUT YOU ARE GOING TO GET OUT OF THE CAR
AND WHEN YOU DO,
YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE HAPPIEST KID
THAT EVER WENT BACK-TO-SCHOOL SHOPPING.
OK, SWEETHEART?
(RATTLES DOOR HANDLE)
OK. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GREAT. COME ON.
OPEN THE DOOR.
(GRUNTS)
(UNLOCKS DOOR)
MM-HMM.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS)
MOM, CAN I TRY ONE OF THESE?
NO. WE HAVE A SCHEDULE TO KEEP.
WE WERE LATE LEAVING, REMEMBER?
MOM, IT'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE.
BE A GOOD BOY. DON'T EMBARRASS YOUR MOMMY.
OW!
OK...
DEAD PEOPLE WEAR THIS STUFF.
Reporter: HA! DID YOU HEAR THAT?
(SIGHS) KIDS DON'T LIKE DRESS CLOTHES.
WHAT CAN I SAY?
MOM, I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO SHOP HERE.
LUKE...
Man: BIG SMILE NOW.
GET RID OF THE CAMERAS.
LET'S GO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHY DO WE HAVE TO SHOP HERE?
BECAUSE AMERICA SHOPS HERE.
YOUR FATHER RUNS AMERICA SO WE SHOP HERE.
YOU DON'T SHOP HERE.
NEVER MIND WHERE I SHOP.
WOULD YOU HELP ME WITH THIS, PLEASE?
MRS. DAVENPORT, HOW DO YOU FIND TIME
TO SHOP WITH YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE?
YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER. PUT THESE ON.
IT'S A BALANCING ACT FOR ALL WORKING MOTHERS.
AND WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT,
THAT'S WHAT I AM.
GET YOUR BUTT IN THE DRESSING ROOM.
Luke: OW!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Luke: YOU'RE HURTING ME!
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
DON'T EVER TOUCH HIM THAT WAY AGAIN.
HE WOULDN'T MOVE.
YOU TOLD ME TO PUT HIM IN THE DRESSING--
THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT.
GET IN THE DRESSING ROOM, PLEASE.
(SIGHS) WHAT?
I DON'T WANT HIM GUARDING MY SON ANYMORE.
YOU GET ME AN AGENT WHO CAN DEAL WITH A CHILD.
Reporter: YOU PICKING THAT UP, BRIAN?
(SCOFFS)
Woods: UNBELIEVABLE.
THANK YOU.
SIMMS! SIMMS!
(REPORTERS SHOUTING)
(REPORTER LAUGHING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
YOU'VE BEEN IN THE SERVICE 5 YEARS.
2 MERITORIOUS SERVICE AWARDS.
WHY IS YOUR EARPIECE NOT IN YOUR EAR?
OH, SIR, THE HIGH FREQUENCIES BOTHER ME,
SO I TAKE IT OUT FROM TIME TO TIME
JUST TO RELIEVE THE PRESSURE.
IT SEEMS THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING WITH YOU, SIMMS.
"MY BULLETPROOF VEST CAUSES CHAFING"?
IT'S A FAMILY THING, SIR. MORE LIKE A RASH.
"MY PHOTO I.D. MAKES ME LOOK FAT."
SIR, I'VE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT SINCE THEN.
I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT--
SIT DOWN.
IT'S-- SHUT UP.
LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND
YOU DID A GOOD JOB IN THE FIELD TODAY.
BUT EVEN SO, YOU'VE GOT A FILE
FULL OF BORDERLINE REGULATION INFRACTIONS,
WHICH IS WHY WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO
IS AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT.
THIS AFTERNOON YOU'LL BE ASSIGNED A NEW DETAIL.
EFFECTIVE AT 1700 HOURS,
YOU'LL BE FULL-TIME IN CROWN...
YES!
AS THE PERSONAL AGENT TO THE FIRST KID...
NO.
CODE NAME "PRINCE," ALSO KNOWN AS LUKE DAVENPORT.
I AM SO FLATTERED, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S--THAT'S A NICE JOB.
IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE A BABY-SITTER.
I WAS THINKING MORE ABOUT GUARDING EAGLE HIMSELF.
WAIT. DOES HE THINK I'M ASKING HIM?
THIS IS NOT A REQUEST.
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE
IF IT WASN'T FOR THE D-SAC HERE.
I'M GONNA BE WATCHING YOU, SIMMS,
AND THE SECOND YOU SCREW UP, YOU'RE GONNA BE WORKING
CREDIT CARD FRAUD IN EAST CLEVELAND!
DO YOU HEAR ME
OR AM I YELLING AT TOO HIGH A FREQUENCY?
NO, SIR. I'VE GOT MY EARPIECE IN.
GET OUTTA HERE.
YES, SIR.
I APPRECIATE YOUR CONFIDENCE IN ME, SIR.
DON'T SAY "SIR." JUST GO.
YES--NO.
AND LOSE THAT TIE!
LOOKS LIKE YOU ROBBED A DEAD CLOWN.
THANKS, SIR. IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I GOT IN TROUBLE BEFORE I DID ANYTHING.
HEY, YOU WANTED TO GUARD EAGLE, RIGHT?
NOW, THIS IS THE START.
YOU DO A GOOD JOB WITH PRINCE
AND THIS IS THE ADMISSION TICKET.
HEY, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
HE'S JUST A KID. HOW BAD CAN IT BE?
HA!
WHAT DID THAT MEAN, SIR?
HA HA HA!
WHY YOU LAUGHIN'?
WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KID?
LEAVE THE SNAKE IN THERE.
LEAVE THE SNAKE IN THE CAGE.
NO, LEAVE--THE SNAKE IS HAPPY IN THE CAGE.
HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE OUT THE CAGE!
THEY WANT TO BE IN THE JUNGLE.
I'VE SEEN THIS ON WILD KINGDOM.
SO, YOU LIKE SNAKES.
NO, I DON'T LIKE SNAKES.
MEET POISON. WANT TO HOLD HER?
DON'T PLAY GAMES! I SWEAR--I SWEAR--
HERE. WHOA!
AAH!
EXCUSE ME, MR. PRESIDENT, SIR, MA'AM.
TAKE HIM! UGH!
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
I WAS JUST TELLING HIM--
I'LL BE DOGGONE IF HE WASN'T RIGHT.
THIS IS MUCH HEAVIER THAN I THOUGHT.
IT'S NOT 15 POUNDS. I WAS WRONG.
LUKE, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT
YOUR BEHAVIOR THIS MORNING.
HEY, I WAS JUST-- IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
I WAS JUST TRYING ON CLOTHES!
WILL YOU GIVE US A SECOND?
IN FACT, TAKE THIS SNAKE AND PUT HIM BACK
WHERE HE BELONGS, WILL YOU, PLEASE?
SIR-- HERE, TAKE HIM.
I'LL TAKE HIM.
LUKE, I FACE AN ELECTION IN 2 MONTHS.
Simms: EWW! THIS IS NASTY!
I CANNOT SUSTAIN ANOTHER INCIDENT LIKE THIS.
THE TIMING IS VERY BAD, YOU UNDERSTAND?
WHERE'S YOUR HEAD? DON'T YOU BITE ME!
YEAH, SURE.
GOOD BOY. I THOUGHT SO.
THANKS.
OW! HE BIT ME! I'M BLEEDING!
YOU WALKED BRANDY YET?
NO.
DON'T BITE ME AGAIN!
LUKE, WE TALKED EARLIER TODAY
ABOUT RESPONSIBILITIES.
YOU WANT THE DOG, YOU HAVE TO WALK IT.
FINE.
BREATHE-- LUKE! HELP!
COME ON, HON.
SNAKE--LUKE-- OOH! AH-HA! OOH!
LUKE, WAIT--LUKE!
HELP--LUKE, WAIT!
LUKE, HELP ME!
COME ON, BRANDY, LET'S GO.
COME HERE, COME HERE.
(SNAKE THUDS)
SIMMS! SIMMS!
HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU WALK THE DOG?
I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. NO!
WHY NOT?
IT'S NOT IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION, OK?
WELL, IF I WALK THE DOG, YOU HAVE TO COME, RIGHT?
YES, I DO.
WELL, LET'S JUST CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MAN.
I'M NOT PAID TO WALK THE DOG, OK?
(DOG WHINES)
COME ON, BRANDY.
I'M PAID TO WALK THE WEASEL. SNAKE SKIN!
LUKE! LUKE!
(SIGHS) DID YOU SEE THE KID COME OUT HERE?
YES, SIR.
THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM?
HE LIVES HERE.
I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT. I--I'M NOT...
LUKE! (ECHOING)
(BRANDY BARKING)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(BARKING)
(LASER BUZZING)
GOT A PERIMETER BREACH. BRING UP SECTOR 47.
YES, SIR. 47 COMING UP.
Simms: OH, JUST GREAT.
OK, IT'S OFFICIAL. I DON'T LIKE THIS KID.
(SIRENS)
(GUNS COCKING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(BARKING)
Morton: FREEZE!
LUKE?
LUKE, THERE YOU ARE!
HEY. WHOO! I FOUND HIM.
THIS BOY CAN HIDE! I TELL YOU, MAN,
IF THERE WAS AN INTERNATIONAL HIDE-AND-SEEK TEAM,
HE'D BE THE CAPTAIN.
THIS--OH, SO EVERYBODY WANTS TO PLAY.
THAT IS SO MESSED UP. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME?
OK, DUCK...DUCK...
DUCK...LOOK AT YOU, TRYING TO BE SO SERIOUS.
DUCK...GOOSE. GO AHEAD!
(LAUGHS) GO AHEAD!
WELL, IF Y'ALL DON'T WANT TO PLAY,
WHY'D YOU COME OUT HERE? HUH? WHAT?
WHAT'S EVERYBODY DOING OUT HERE?
WE'RE RESPONDING TO A PERIMETER BREACH.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT HERE?
PLAYING HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK. RIGHT, LUKE?
IS THAT RIGHT, LUKE?
COME ON, TELL HIM WHAT WE'RE DOING.
TELL HIM, LUKE.
I'LL FIND YOU!
ONLY 6 HOURS ON THE JOB AND ALREADY AN ESCAPE ATTEMPT?
THAT'S ONE, SIMMS.
FALSE ALARM! FALSE ALARM! LET'S LOSE THESE LIGHTS!
(GUARDS GRUMBLING)
Morton: AND LOSE THAT TIE!
YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME?
"THAT'S ONE, SIMMS.
"KNOW WHAT'S NEXT? TWO.
KNOW WHAT'S AFTER THAT? THREE."
OH, JUST GREAT. LIKE I'M NOT OUT HERE.
FORGET ME.
(BEEP)
WELCOME, YOU HAVE MAIL.
ALL RIGHT!
Luke: MONGOOSE12.
"HI, VIPER. COOL SCREEN NAME. HOW OLD ARE YOU?"
(BEEP, TYPING)
Luke: 13 1/2, 21 IF YOU'RE AN OLDER GIRL.
(BEEP)
"WHERE ARE YOU FROM?"
"...ARLINGTON. WE SHOULD MEET SOMETIME."
COOL.
"ME, TOO. SCHOOL SUCKS. LET'S TALK AGAIN."
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
IT'S BEDTIME!
(ZAP)
YOU ONLINE?
YEAH, I WAS.
WHO YOU TALKING TO?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
YOU DON'T TELL ANYBODY WHO YOU REALLY ARE, DO YOU?
NO. DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT TO YOU?
ONLINE, I'M JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE.
YOU KNOW, NORMAL, LIKE ANY OTHER KID?
YOU OUGHT TO TRY THAT HERE.
WHAT?!
I SAID GO TO BED.
JUST BE CAREFUL OUT THERE IN CYBERSPACE, ALL RIGHT?
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TELL PEOPLE.
THANKS!
HEY, YOU CAN GO NOW.
OH, AND BY THE WAY, STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
YOU'RE NOT MY DAD.
LUCKY FOR ME.
WHAT?!
NICE PJs. BET THEY HAVE FEET ON THEM, DON'T THEY?
PPLLH!
(THUNDER)
(LOW CHATTER)
HOW YOU DOING?
Bartender: WHAT DO YOU NEED?
GIVE ME A HARVEY WALLBANGER.
MAKE IT A HARVEY OSWALD.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
HARVEY OSWALD'S GOT 3 SHOTS.
(CHUCKLES)
Bartender: LAST ONE, WOODS.
HEY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MALL.
NO HARD FEELINGS?
HARD FEELINGS? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YOU DIDN'T TAKE MY JOB, SIMMS.
I GOT NO PROBLEM WITH YOU.
I JUST GOT A 6-MONTH PAID VACATION
COURTESY OF THE SERVICE.
I LIED TO THE SHRINK.
(CHUCKLES)
HA HA HA! (SNORTS)
IT WAS A LIVING HELL, ANYWAY.
NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE OFF A DETAIL IN MY LIFE.
I'LL BE BACK.
SEE YOU. ALL RIGHT.
DOES HE ALWAYS DRINK LIKE THAT?
NO. HE HAD A BAD DAY.
HE LOST HIS JOB.
FIRED? HE JUST TOLD ME HE LIED TO PSYCHIATRY.
NO. HE FAILED HIS FITNESS FOR DUTY EXAM.
OH, MAN.
BUT, HEY, THANKS FOR THE GOOD WORD.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
DON'T MENTION IT.
DON'T GO MAKING ME LOOK BAD
AND DON'T BLOW YOUR SHOT AT EAGLE LIKE WOODS DID.
HEY, I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT.
THAT'S THE REASON I JOINED THE AGENCY.
SEE YOU LATER, SAMMY.
UH, YOU GOT A SECOND?
SURE.
I BEEN THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING.
REMEMBER THE TIME YOU GOT SHOT PROTECTING REAGAN?
OH, YEAH. YOU DON'T FORGET BEING SHOT.
HURTS REALLY BAD.
HOW MUCH TIME BETWEEN SEEING THE SHOOTER
AND JUMPING FOR RONNIE?
DID I THINK BEFORE I JUMPED IN FRONT OF THAT BULLET?
IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN?
YEAH.
NOPE. IT'S THE JOB.
THEY ELECT HIM, WE PROTECT HIM.
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO THINK.
YOU HESITATE TO PROTECT, HE'S DEAD, END OF STORY.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
NOBODY WANTS TO SHOOT THAT KID.
SPANK HIM, MAYBE, BUT NOT SHOOT HIM.
NO, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
OK. SEE YOU TOMORROW.
THANK YOU, SIR.
UNLOCK THE DOOR.
UNLOCK--UNLOCK THE DOOR!
UNLOCK THE DOOR! UNLOCK THE DO--
I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL TO GEORGETOWN ACADEMY.
I'M MS. LAWRENCE, YOUR TEACHER,
AND THIS IS SCIENCE 101.
I SEE THAT SOME OF YOU RECOGNIZE ONE OF OUR
CLASSMATES. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW,
THIS IS LUKE DAVENPORT.
AND BECAUSE OF LUKE'S SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES,
HIS FRIEND WILL ALSO BE JOINING US ALL YEAR.
THIS IS...MR. SWIMS?
UH, NO, NO. SIMMS.
MR. SIMMS. LET'S MAKE THEM FEEL WELCOME.
(CLAPPING)
YES, ROBERT?
YES. HOW MANY TIMES HAS MR. SIMMS BEEN LEFT BACK?
(CLASS LAUGHING)
Ms. Lawrence: VERY CLEVER, MR. MacARTHUR.
I HOPE TO SEE SOME OF THAT CLEVERNESS
PUT TO GOOD USE THIS YEAR.
LET'S NOT PICK ON MR. SIMMS.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE SYLLABUS
AND SEE WHAT WE'LL BE STUDYING THIS YEAR.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
HEY, YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE WAITING DOWNSTAIRS,
AND I'M NOT TAKING THE FALL LIKE WOODS.
WE'RE LATE. NOW, LET'S GO.
WHAT'S THAT?
MY--MY HOMEWORK.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU?
Man: LET'S WELCOME OUR FRIEND IN THE WHITE HOUSE,
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,
PAUL DAVENPORT!
SIR, SORRY I'M LATE.
I HAD SOME MILK. I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT--
SHUT UP, SIMMS. WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT, SIR? THAT!
HA! VERY FUNNY, SIR.
THIS IS A BLACK TIE AFFAIR.
I KNOW, SIR, AND I GOT IT COVERED.
I'M BLACK AND I'M WEARING A TIE.
DON'T GO THERE. SORRY, SIR.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
NO, BUT YOU'RE GONNA.
IS THE AGENCY JEALOUS OF MY STYLE?
WE ARE.
I'M SERIOUS! I MEAN,
WHY CAN'T MY CLOTHES FIT MY PERSONALITY?
BRIGHT, BOLD, COLORFUL? I'M A GOOD AGENT.
I THINK IT'S TIME FOR THE AGENCY TO CHANGE, SIR.
YOU'RE RIGHT. CHANGE INTO THIS.
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, SIR.
SIR, I GOT TO CHECK SOMETHING.
WHAT?
TRUST ME. I'LL PUT THAT ON.
I GOTTA CHECK SOMETHING OUT, SIR.
...LINDA AND ME BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE FOR 4 MORE YEARS.
(APPLAUSE)
(MUTTERING)
(HISSING)
NO! NOT THE SNAKE! I HATE SNAKES!
(HISSING)
(THUD) OW! THAT'S IT! I QUIT!
I GOT IT! HEY! DON'T YOU KICK ME!
I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR STINKY FEET!
AAH!
I GOT GUM IN MY AFRO!
THAT'S IT. IT'S OFFICIAL. I'M GONNA KILL THIS KID.
HE'S DEAD.
(SIGHS) IT'S THE SNAKE.
DON'T YOU BITE ME!
GOTCHA! LADY, SHH!
PLEASE...
DON'T...SCREAM.
(OPERATIC SCREAM)
WHAT'S GOING ON? POISON, SIR.
Man: POISON! Woman: POISON!
AAH!
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(GLASS BREAKING)
CODE 3! GET THE PARAMEDICS!
LUNCH HAS BEEN POISONED!
URGH! NO!
(CROWD SCREAMING)
NO! OH, HE'S LICKING ME!
HE'S LICKING ME WITH THE LITTLE LICKY TONGUE!
WAIT A MINUTE! HE'S TRYING TO BITE ME!
OH! GRAB IT!
HEY, THAT'S MY HEAD! WANT A CABBAGE HEAD?
TAKE THIS CABBAGE HEAD!
HOW ABOUT SOME BEAN DIP, MISTER? HUH?
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU! I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!
(SQUELCHING)
HA HA HA!
(SNICKERING)
SIR, I'VE TAKEN CARE OF THE SITUATION.
(SPLAT)
(GIRLS TALKING)
(LAUGHING)
(CLANK)
(BOYS LAUGHING)
HA! I TOLD YOU HE'S SUCH A DORK.
Rob: HEY, TURN AROUND!
Boy: YEAH, TURN AROUND! HA HA!
SIMMS, CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME SPACE?
NO PROBLEM.
THIS BETTER?
DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL MORTON ABOUT THAT TIE?
OK, THEN BACK OFF. YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME.
FINE.
I'D LIKE TO SUFFOCATE YOU. IT'S A DREAM I HAVE.
Rob: HEY, GUYS, CHECK THIS OUT.
Boy: COME ON, ROB. GO GET HIM.
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
Boy: WATCH THIS. HA HA!
HEY, WANT TO COME EAT WITH US?
NO, THANKS.
(BOYS TALKING)
WHY NOT?
YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE?
NOT EVERYONE.
PFF.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE JUST SAID TO ME?
YOU DON'T EVER SAY THAT TO ROB.
ALL RIGHT, MR. LUKE.
LET'S SEE HOW YOU DO ON YOUR OWN.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN...ANYONE.
WHATEVER.
HEY, WE JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS
TO BE THE BIGGEST BUTT IN THE WORLD!
'CAUSE WE SAW IT ALL OVER THE NEWS THE OTHER NIGHT.
YEAH. I'M SURE IT LOOKED JUST LIKE YOUR FACE.
HEY!
NAH.
OH, WE'RE NOT SO COOL WITHOUT OUR BABY-SITTER NOW, ARE WE?
HE'S NOT MY BABY-SITTER.
I KNEW IT. HE'S A WUSS!
HIT HIM! COME ON, LET'S GO!
JUST LIKE HIS DAD, THE DRAFT DODGER, RIGHT?
"FIRST KID"? HA HA! COME ON! COME ON!
UNH!
HE SLAPS LIKE MY SISTER.
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
YOU KNOW, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I THINK MY SISTER SLAPS A LITTLE BIT HARDER.
SHUT UP! GET OUT OF HERE!
HEY, WHERE YOU GOING? FIRST WUSS, I'M OVER HERE.
COME ON, YOU DORK!
LET'S GO! COME ON! HIT ME!
COME ON, SLAP ME! YOU CAN DO IT.
DASH, GET THESE PHOTOGRAPHERS OUT OF HERE.
LET'S GO. COME ON.
HIT ME!
Girl: COME ON! GET OUT OF THE WAY!
UNH!
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN!
(CRYING)
Simms: THE SHOW'S OVER! EVERYBODY BACK OFF!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU OK, LUKE?
Rob: MAN, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
OH, I BET THAT HURTS.
CAN YOU TAKE HIM TO GET CLEANED UP?
COME ON, LET'S GO.
I HOPE YOU DON'T NEED STITCHES.
MR. SIMMS!
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
ME?
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PROTECT HIM,
THEN I SUGGEST YOU RECOMMEND SOMEONE WHO WILL.
EXCUSE ME?
WHERE WERE YOU WHILE HE GOT BEAT UP?
THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT?
AND THE KID ASKED FOR SOME SPACE.
WELL, I SUGGEST YOU GIVE HIM LESS SPACE.
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB, OK?
AND I WON'T TELL YOU HOW TO TEACH
YOUR LITTLE BORING SCIENCE CLASS.
LUKE IS IN A TOUGH SITUATION.
HE'S GOT A HIGH PROFILE, HE'S IN A NEW SCHOOL,
HE NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT.
I KNOW HOW THIS KID OPERATES, YOU DON'T.
THE LAST THING HE NEEDS IS SUPPORT.
AND WHAT IS IT HE NEEDS?
HE JUST GOT IT.
YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BOX.
WHY? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR.
WRONG. MY JOB IS TO PROTECT YOU
FROM PSYCHOS, WACKOS, KIDNAPPERS--
NOT 14-YEAR-OLD BOYS WEARING BLUE BLAZERS, ALL RIGHT?
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU,
BECAUSE AS MUCH TRASH AS YOU TALK,
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF.
I DIDN'T ASK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE,
SO JUST TAKE ME HOME.
KNOW WHAT?
ALL I GOT TO DO IS KEEP HIM OUT OF TROUBLE
TILL I GET BUMPED TO EAGLE. THAT'S ALL.
...NOT COUNTING THE HALF MILLION WE HAD IN BOSNIA.
PAUL, HELLO. I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
AHEM. OH.
HONEY, UH...
YOU KNOW THE JOINT CHIEFS.
HELLO, GENERALS, ADMIRALS.
LINDA, I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING
WITH THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF.
CAN'T THIS WAIT?
YES, IT CAN WAIT,
IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT ON THE NEWS TONIGHT.
HE WAS IN A FIGHT, PAUL.
President: AH-HA. UM...
GUYS, COULD YOU GIVE US A FEW SECONDS?
YES, SIR. YES, SIR.
I GUESS THAT NUCLEAR TREATY CAN WAIT.
HMM.
SIT DOWN OVER THERE.
SIT.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
WE'RE LOOKING INTO IT.
WE MAY BE MAKING SOME CHANGES.
WELL, NOW, LET'S HOLD UP ON THAT.
I'M SURE SIMMS WOULD'VE STOPPED IT IF HE COULD HAVE.
NOW, HOW DID THIS INCIDENT BEGIN?
WELL, SIR, ONE OF THE BOYS--
Luke: IT WAS JUST SOMETHING STUPID.
NOW, LOOK, LUKE, YOUR MOTHER AND I
ARE GOING TO BE OUT ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL
FOR A WHILE, AND WHILE WE'RE GONE,
I REALLY NEED YOU TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
NOW I HATE TO DO THIS,
BUT WHILE WE'RE GONE, YOU'RE GROUNDED.
HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA BE GONE?
ABOUT A MONTH.
WHAT?! I HAVE TO STAY IN THE HOUSE
WHILE YOU GUYS GO TRAVEL ALL OVER?
THIS SUCKS! YOU GUYS HAVE ALL THE FUN!
WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.
President: LINDA?
I THINK HE JUST NEEDS SOME TIME TO COOL OFF.
MMM.
AHEM.
LUKE!
BRANDY, YOU SEEN LUKE?
(BRANDY WHIMPERS)
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR GAMES, LUKE.
WHERE ARE YOU?
I HEARD ABOUT THIS.
THEY TOLD ME THIS WAS CLOSED OFF.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS KID GOT THIS THING OPEN.
(CREAKS)
(LUKE CRYING)
LUKE?
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
Simms: YOU OK?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? NOBODY CARES.
IF YOU HADN'T COME, NO ONE WOULD EVEN KNOWN I WAS GONE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
NOW, YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER WOULD HAVE.
SOONER OR LATER THEY WOULD HAVE KNOWN.
TRUST ME, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LATER.
I'M HERE. I CARE.
YEAH, SO? IT'S YOUR JOB.
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE IT.
"I JUST GOTTA KEEP HIM OUT OF TROUBLE
TILL I GET BUMPED TO EAGLE."
DID--DID I GET THAT RIGHT?
I SHOULD'VE NEVER SAID THAT.
I WAS ANGRY WITH YOU.
YOU MAKE ME LOOK STUPID AT MY JOB.
YOU THROW A SNAKE ON ME,
YOU SNEAK OUT THE WHITE HOUSE.
BUT I SHOULD NEVER HAVE SAID IT. I'M SORRY.
COME ON, LUKE, YOU GOT A PRETTY GOOD LIFE HERE.
YOU'RE THE FIRST KID.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUN AWAY?
I CAN'T GO OUT.
I--I NEVER SEE MY PARENTS.
I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.
I'VE NEVER KISSED A GIRL.
THAT WOULD DO IT. I UNDERSTAND.
THAT WOULD MAKE ME RUN AWAY MYSELF.
I'M SURE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS
WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
YOU WERE LUCKY.
OH, I SEE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
THAT HAS SOME PROBLEMS IN LIFE.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I LOST MY FATHER IN VIETNAM.
MY MOTHER HAD TO WORK 2 OR 3 JOBS
JUST TO TAKE CARE OF ME,
SO I WAS ALWAYS BY MYSELF.
YOU'RE THE LUCKY ONE. YOU GOT BOTH YOUR PARENTS.
YEAH. I SEE THEM EVERY NIGHT ON THE NEWS.
NO. THAT'S YOUR BOOTY YOU'VE BEEN SEEING
ON THE NEWS.
DID YOU LAUGH? DID--DID I SEE A LAUGH?
THERE'S HOPE, PEOPLE.
THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS MAN. HA!
SEE, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
SAY WE GO UPSTAIRS, GO IN THE KITCHEN,
GET SOMETHING TO EAT AND TALK LIKE 2 MEN.
THE KITCHEN'S CLOSED.
I'M DOUBLE-O SIMMS. I CAN GET TO ANY KITCHEN.
HOW COME YOU HAD TROUBLE WITH THOSE GUYS AT YOUR TABLE TODAY
THEY ONLY WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME BECAUSE OF MY DAD.
HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT?
'CAUSE EVERYONE DOES.
SO HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN SOMEBODY LIKES YOU FOR YOU?
I GUESS I DON'T.
SIMMS? YEAH?
YOU KNOW THAT KID THAT HIT ME TODAY?
YEAH, VAGUELY I REMEMBER THAT INCIDENT.
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO GET THERE?
OH, MAN. YOU KNOW, I USUALLY WEAR A SIZE 36 UNDERWEAR,
BUT SOMEBODY GAVE ME SOME 34s IN THE STORE,
SO I HAD A LITTLE WEDGIE THING GOING ON,
SO I'M STANDING LIKE THIS AND...
I'M SORRY, OK? IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I PROMISE YOU THAT, 'CAUSE I'M YOUR PARTNER--
DOUBLE-O SIMMS, ALL RIGHT?
(TRAFFIC NOISES)
Simms: I NEED AN INSURANCE POLICY.
A TRACKING DEVICE.
ILLEGAL?
NO, NO. THE WORD IS "COVERT."
YOU WANT THE SUBJECT TO KNOW OR NOT?
NOT.
WELL, HERE'S THE BEST STUFF I GOT,
AND ALL OF IT IS "COVERT," SO DON'T ARREST ME, SAM.
(WHISTLING)
SO TAKE ONE, MY BROTHER.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
YEAH, OK. WAIT A MINUTE.
SEE, THIS IS COOL.
THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THE AGENCY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THIS STUFF YET.
THAT'S 'CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ME NO MORE.
YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.
NOW, MR. GENIUS, WHERE'S THE TRANSMITTER?
IF I TOLD YOU THAT, I'D HAVE TO KILL YOU.
HO!
NOW, HERE'S THE TRACKING UNIT.
WORKS OFF THE GLOBAL POSITIONING SATELLITE SYSTEM.
NOW, I MODIFIED IT, OF COURSE.
(BEEPING) I LIKE THIS.
SAM, DON'T FORGET TO RECHARGE IT, OK?
NAW, COOL.
CAN--CAN I CHARGE THIS WITH MY ATM CARD?
MY DAD WORKS FOR THE GOVERNMENT, TOO.
"DOES HE?"
COOL. (LAUGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)
SAY, LUKE, DINNER TIME.
IT'S ALL PG-RATED STUFF ON THERE, RIGHT?
THIS THE ONLY GUY YOU CHAT WITH ONLINE?
(ZAP) YEAH, I GUESS.
HE'S JUST MY ONLINE PAL. YOU KNOW, ANOTHER KID.
AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, RIGHT?
YES, SIMMS.
I JUST HAD TO CHECK, MAN. MAKE SURE YOU'RE LISTENING.
LOOK, I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
NO, NO, NO. STAND UP AND LEAN OVER.
I WANT TO PUT IT ON YOU.
SPENT ALL THAT MONEY, I WANT TO SEE HOW IT LOOKS.
COME HERE. HAD TO GET A NIGHT JOB TO PAY FOR THAT.
WELL, WHAT'S IT FOR?
BECAUSE I LIKE YOU.
YEAH, THANKS. THANKS A LOT.
ALL RIGHT!
WHAT'S UP, MY MAN? HOW YOU DOING?
OH, HEY, MONGOOSE 12, WHAT'S UP WITH THIS?
LITTLE CAT ONLINE, I NEED YOU TO CHECK HIM OUT.
OK, WE'RE REALLY BACKED UP DOWN HERE.
IS THIS REALLY A PRIORITY?
NO, MAN, BUT I REALLY NEED THE HELP.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET TO IT WHEN I CAN.
THANKS, MAN. YEAH.
(BELL RINGS)
Katie: LUKE! LUKE!
ARE YOU BUSY TONIGHT?
NO, NO. NOT THAT BUSY.
A BUNCH OF US ARE GOING TO THE MOVIES.
DO YOU WANT TO COME?
I GUESS I CAN'T.
OH. THANKS, ANYWAY.
OK. I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY.
BYE.
B-BYE!
WANT TO SEE A MOVIE?
MAN, WE GET ANY MOVIE PLAYING IN ANY THEATER, RIGHT?
TAKE IT BACK TO THE CROWN,
WATCH IT IN THE PRIVATE SCREENING ROOM,
NO LINES, NO BIG-HEAD FAMILY SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU
IF YOU CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN.
HUH? SOUND GOOD?
YEAH. IT'LL BE A BARREL OF LAUGHS.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) LUKE! LUKE!
I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD COME IN HERE! OK? LEAVE!
WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?
WHAT'S THIS? AH, I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.
I HAD ONE OF THESE. YOU GONNA RUN AWAY, HUH?
(UNZIPS BAG)
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
NO PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY?
MAN CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY.
(SIGHS)
LOOK, I DON'T BLAME YOU, MAN.
MUST BE TOUGH LIVING IN A FISHBOWL.
I KNOW ONE THING--RUNNING AWAY IS NOT THE ANSWER.
WHEN I WAS 13, I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR THAT, EITHER.
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA REGRET THIS.
I AM. SIMMS, YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THIS.
I KNOW THIS. I'M GONNA LOSE MY JOB.
THEN I'M GONNA BE RUNNING AWAY
'CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE,
I CAN'T PAY RENT, BUT I'M GONNA DO THIS.
KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.
I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE I COULD GET IN.
ONE DAY WHEN YOU'RE OLD,
YOU'LL GO, "SIMMS, YOU WERE THE MAN."
I'M WILLING TO TAKE YOU OUT...
UNDER 2 CONDITIONS--
FIRST OF ALL, YOU GOT TO MAKE THE PINKY PROMISE--
IT'S THE DEEPEST PROMISE 2 MEN CAN MAKE.
NO. THE PINKY. LOOK, THERE YOU GO.
YOU GOTTA GET OUT MORE OFTEN, KID.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU GOT TO PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYBODY
ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DOING, OK?
NUMBER 2-- YOU HAVE TO PROMISE
NOT TO EVER RUN AWAY WHILE WE'RE OUT THERE.
ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. I PROMISE.
ALL RIGHT.
SO WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO?
WANT TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WE'LL HANG OUT WITH SOME OTHER KIDS,
SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN MISSING.
GOT ONE PROBLEM, THOUGH.
NOW, I KNOW HOW TO GET US OUT OF HERE.
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE 'EM BELIEVE
THAT WE'RE STILL HERE.
I DO.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) LUKE!
Computer: I'M SLEEPING.
GET OUT THE BED-- WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? LUKE!
LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M IN HERE!
I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
YOUR BRAIN'S BEEN SUCKED INTO THE COMPUTER, MAN!
UH-HUH. "PARENT GUARD 2.--
OH, I GET IT. LUKE!
I SAID GO AWAY!
LUKE!
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
VERY NICE. WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
I PICKED IT UP OFF THE KID INTERNET.
SO, HOW YOU GONNA GET ME OUT OF HERE?
DON'T WORRY. IT'S IN THE BAG.
SHH, SHH, SHH.
THIS IS REALLY STUPID.
YOU LOOK STUPID. IT'S OK. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY, DASH! I FORGOT--
DIDN'T I ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING?
NO, SIR.
ARE YOU SURE? YES, SIR.
THEN GO GET THE CAR.
WELL, WHERE'S LUKE?
Computer: LEAVE ME ALONE.
HE WAS SLEEPING UNTIL YOU JUST WOKE HIM UP.
WELL, WHO'S THAT?
THIS IS--THIS IS HIS FRIEND REGGIE.
HI, LUKE'S FRIEND REGGIE.
Computer: I SAID GO AWAY.
THEY HAD A LITTLE ARGUMENT. IT'S OK, MAN.
COULD YOU GO GET THE CAR, PLEASE?
HIS MOTHER JUST CALLED. I GOT TO GET THE BOY HOME.
HE HAS A MEDICAL PROBLEM.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
OK. I'M SORRY.
DUH--GEE--GET IN HERE!
SO YOU'RE A FRIEND OF LUKE'S, HUH?
I DIDN'T THINK HE HAD ANY FRIENDS.
HEY, DID YOU FILL THE CAR WITH GAS?
YES, SIR.
OK.
(DEEP VOICE) DO YOU, UH, LIKE LUKE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? HE'S A POMPOUS BRAT--
HEY, HEY! YOU NEVER DISCUSS THE PROTECTEE WITH A STRANGER.
NOW, YOU KNOW THAT. THAT'S CODE.
REGGIE KNOWS LUKE'S A PAIN THE BUTT.
EVERYONE WHO'S EVER MET LUKE KNOWS THAT.
(DEEP VOICE) IS THAT RIGHT?
(NORMAL VOICE) AM I A PAIN IN THE BUTT?
(TIRES SCREECH)
YES...YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT.
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
WE ARE GOING BACK RIGHT NOW!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LOOK, WE'RE ALREADY OUT HERE.
WHY DON'T WE JUST KEEP ON GOING?
ARE YOU CRAZY? GO WHERE?!
TO A FEDERAL PENITENTIARY?
LOOK, I JUST WANT THE KID TO GO OUT
AND HANG OUT WITH SOME REGULAR KIDS FOR A WHILE,
THEN WE GO ON BACK.
SIMMS, THIS IS UNAUTHORIZED, UNKNOWN,
AND FELONIOUS REMOVAL OF THE PROTECTEE
FROM FEDERALLY SECURED GROUNDS!
YOU'RE GONNA GET ME FIRED!
NOREEN WILL NOT MARRY A GUY WHO IS FIRED!
THAT'S A PERSONAL PROBLEM.
DON'T MIX IT IN WITH OUR JOB, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S A LITTLE JOKE. JUST A LITTLE JOKE.
LOOK, THE KID'S GONNA HANG OUT,
HAVE A LITTLE FUN, THEN WE'LL GO ON BACK.
NOW, WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH THAT?
THERE'S ABOUT 37 THINGS WRONG WITH THAT.
UNAUTHORIZED REMOVAL--
NO, YOU WILL NOT LIST THEM ALL.
I WILL SMACK YOU IF YOU LIST THEM ALL!
LOOK, THE KID WAS GONNA RUN AWAY,
SO BY KEEPING THE KID WITH US,
WE'RE DOING OUR JOB AND PROTECTING HIM.
IN ESSENCE, WE'RE GOING A STEP ABOVE OUR JOB.
WE'RE DOING A GREAT THING FOR OUR COUNTRY,
AND NOREEN WOULD LOVE THAT.
YEAH.
I'M RELIEVING YOU OF SENIORITY OF POST
PURSUANT TO SECTION 13 OF THE FEDERAL AGENCY CODE.
RELAX, LUKE. EVERYTHING'S FINE.
WE'RE GOING BACK RIGHT NOW.
FINE.
(TIRES SQUEALING)
I'D HATE TO BE YOU WHEN LUKE TELLS
THE PRESIDENT IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
(SCREECH)
IT WAS NOT MY IDEA,
AND LUKE WOULD NEVER LIE!
LUKE?
(CRYING) "WE DIDN'T WANT TO GO, DAD.
DASH MADE US GO. IT WAS DASH'S IDEA."
YOU GUYS SUCK.
WE SUCK. DID YOU HEAR THAT, LUKE?
WE SUCK.
ALL RIGHT! WE SUCK!
LET'S MAKE A SUCKY LEFT TURN HERE.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Simms: I LEARNED HOW TO BOX HERE WHEN I WAS A KID.
IT WAS GREAT.
OH, WHEN YOU GET INSIDE, JUST BLEND IN.
CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE ME?
SAMMY.
SAMMY SIMMS.
HEY, FELLAS, LISTEN UP!
I WANT YOU TO MEET SAMMY SIMMS!
FOUGHT WILLIE FOX FOR THE GOLDEN GLOVES TITLE
IN 19... 77
RIGHT!
SO YOU DO REMEMBER ME.
AS I RECALL, YOU CAUGHT HIM WITH A HARD RIGHT IN THE FIRST
THAT'S RIGHT. BAM.
AND IN THE SECOND,
HE SPANKED YOU LIKE A 4-YEAR-OLD AT KMART.
(MEN LAUGHING)
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THE THIRD ROUND?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WE HAD OUR LAUGH.
NOW, SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN.
I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MAN.
THIS MAN HAD A LOT OF HEART.
HE WENT BACK INTO THAT RING,
AND HE TOOK WILLIE FOX OUT AND WENT HOME WITH THE GOLD.
THE GOLD. Man: RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT, WHAT YOU STANDING AROUND FOR?
GO ON BACK TO WORK.
Man: ALL RIGHT, MEN!
SO, SAMMY, WHERE YOU BEEN?
SORRY I HAVEN'T COME BY THE GYM IN A WHILE,
IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, I'M MARRIED TO MY JOB.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE MARRIED TO A WHITE GIRL.
OH, NO, NO. THIS IS REGGIE.
HE'S NOT MY SON. WELL, THIS IS MY JOB.
WELL, I MEAN, I WORK FOR HIM.
NOT FOR HIM, I WORK FOR HIS PARENTS.
NANNY. I'M HIS...
(SMACK)
HEY, UH, HERE'S THE DEAL.
YOUR OLD LOCKER'S STILL BACK THERE.
ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, YOU LET ME KNOW, SAMMY.
THANKS, MAN. I APPRECIATE THAT.
YEAH. COOL.
"NANNY." LET'S GO.
Simms: ALL RIGHT, REGGIE, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY AT THE GYM
YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE. JUST GIVE ME THAT RIGHT HAND.
GET YOUR RIGHT HAND, GIVE ME SOME POWER, RIGHT?
JUST LIKE ROCKY, ALL RIGHT?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. JUST SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
EYE OF THE TIGER. THERE YOU GO.
TAKE SOMEBODY OUT.
YOU'RE THE MAN. THEY GOT YOUR WOMAN--
♪ I'VE GOT THE POWER ♪
(GROANS)
WE'RE GONNA TRY TO HIT THE BAG THIS TIME.
OK? THANK YOU.
♪ I'VE GOT THE POWER ♪
HIT THE BAG.
MIND IF I HELP?
ALL RIGHT. IT'S YOUR GYM.
ALL RIGHT, LITTLE MAN, PUNCH THE BAG.
OW!
WHOA, OK. GO ON, GO ON.
OOF!
HE'S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
USE THIS HAND. PROTECT YOUR RIGHT FACE.
PUT YOUR HAND UP THERE. DON'T LET ANYBODY HIT YOUR FACE.
ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.
UNH!
HUH! THERE YOU GO! HANG IN THERE.
HUH! ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.
HUNH!
BOOM, THERE IT IS.
ROB. TAKE THAT, ROB.
OK, OK, JUST A LITTLE MOTIVATION THERE, BROTHER.
TAKE IT EASY ON YOUR HANDS, ALL RIGHT?
WE'LL HIT THE JUMP ROPE IN A LITTLE BIT, OK?
COOL. THANKS A LOT, MAN.
COME ON NOW, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
NO. I'M JUST WORKING WITH THE KID, ALL RIGHT?
COME ON, WILLIE FOX, RIGHT?
SAMMY SIMMS? I DON'T KNOW.
GOLDEN GLOVE CHAMP?
COME ON, MAN, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
IT'S BEEN A LONG--THESE BAGS ARE SO MUCH BIGGER NOW, MAN.
MAN, JUST LIKE THIS?
DON'T HOLD IT TOO TIGHT. I DON'T WANT TO HURT MYSELF.
UNH! (GLASS BREAKS)
WHOA! DID YOU SEE THAT?
(BRAKES SCREECH)
LET'S GO.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
YO--YOU DID A GOOD THING TONIGHT.
YOU OWE ME.
AW!
GOOD NIGHT, L.D.
GOOD NIGHT, SIR.
CHIEF! HA HA!
Simms: HEY, CHIEF. WHAT'S UP? HOW YOU DOIN'?
DASH! GO, DASH!
OH--DASH! THAT'S THE BEST PARTNER I EVER HAD.
HOW YOU DOING, SIR? BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL.
BEAUTIFUL NIGHT, THOUGH, RIGHT?
I WAS JUST UP AT YOUR ROOM,
AND YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE SLEEPING.
I DID?
I--UH-EH--
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I DID.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
WELL, SIR... HE WAS SLEEPWALKING.
WALKING THE DOG-- HE WAS--
SLEEPWALKING THE DOG.
I DIDN'T WANT TO MENTION IT TILL I TALKED TO HIS PARENTS,
BUT OBVIOUSLY THE BOY'S ASLEEP WHEN HE WALKS--
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! (SNAPS FINGERS)
BRANDY, HERE YOU GO. HERE, BRANDY. THERE YOU GO.
SEE, THE DOG WALKS IN THE SLEEP WITH HIM.
HEY, GOOD GIRL!
THEY WALK IN THEIR SLEEP-- IT'S AMAZING.
DID YOU EVER SEE THE OPRAH SHOW
WHERE THE KID'S WALKING-- IS--IS A--
I GOT THE TAPE. I'LL GET IT TO YOU.
THE KID'S KINDA TIRED. I NEED TO GET HIM TO BED.
YEAH, GET INSIDE. GET TO BED, LUCAS.
♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S OK-K-K-K-K ♪
♪ HE-EY-EY, HE-EY-EY ♪
♪ HEY-EY-EY, HE-EY-EY-EY ♪
♪ HEY-EY-EY-EE-EY EY-EY ♪
♪ HE-EY-EY, HE-EY-EY ♪
♪ HEY-EY-EY, HE-EY-EY-EY ♪
♪ HEY-EY-EY-EE-EY EY-EY ♪
♪ MY BACK IS AGAINST THE WALL ♪
♪ IT'S MORE REAL, I'M RUNNIN' FROM PAIN ♪
♪ AND I KNOW JUST WHO, WHO TO CALL ON ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ OH, HEY, HEY-EY-EY-EY ♪
♪ TO HELP ME FIGHT ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ THE PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ THE PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ OF THE WORLD, I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ PLAYING ON THE TENSION AND THE WEAKNESS OF ADDICTION ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THAT LURE YOUR MIND ♪
♪ YOU CAN FIGHT IT ♪
♪ FIGHT IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN WIN ♪
♪ FOR YOUR DELIVERANCE ♪
♪ JUST BY YOUR HAVING GRACE ♪
♪ YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ OH, HEY-EY-EY ♪
♪ THE PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ OH, THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ THE PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ OH, THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OH ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ TAKE THIS BURDEN OFF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ OH, THE PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ OH-OH-OH ♪
♪ OH, THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ TAKE THIS BURDEN OFF ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ OH-OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH-OH ♪
♪ THE PRESSURES ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE, THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ THE PRESSURE ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ I NEED--I NEED ♪
♪ PRESSURES OF THIS WHOLE BIG WORLD ♪
♪ I'M SO GLAD THAT I SOON WILL BE GONE ♪
♪ LIFT THE PRESSURES OFF ME ♪
♪ WE ALL HAVE OUR BURDENS TO CARRY ♪
♪ I KNOW WHEN MINE GETS TOO BIG ♪
♪ HE'S ALWAYS THERE TO BEAR THE LOAD ♪
♪ HE GIVES ME STRENGTH AND COMFORT ♪
♪ ANY TIME I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ FROM THE PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ I GET RELIEF ♪
♪ I NEED RELIEF ♪
♪ FROM SOMEBODY ♪
♪ PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ HE-EY-EY-EY ♪
♪ OH-OH-OH ♪
♪ PRESSURES OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ AH-AH-AH-AH ♪
♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪
(CHEERING)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M DOING MY JOB. I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE.
I'M TESTIN' THE FOOD.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TEST MY COOKIES?
(GIGGLING)
I THINK I NEED SOME MILK.
HI.
HI!
SO...
WHAT DID YOU DO THIS WEEKEND?
NOT MUCH.
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
NOT MUCH.
HELLO.
HU-HI.
HEY.
Student: WAIT UP!
Ms. Lawrence: STILL GIVING HIM HIS SPACE, HUH?
HEY, I'M WITHIN AGENCY REGULATIONS
ON THIS ONE, ALL RIGHT?
I WAS KIDDING.
OH.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A KIDDER.
IS THERE REALLY A WATER SLIDE
ON AIR FORCE ONE?
MM-HMM.
WE DIDN'T GET OFF TO A GOOD START, DID WE?
Ms. Lawrence: NO, WE DIDN'T.
IT MUST BE TOUGH BEING IN MY CLASS EVERY DAY...
MY...BORING SCIENCE CLASS.
WHO SAID YOUR CLASS WAS BORING?
YOU SAID THAT.
I MUST HAVE BEEN INVOLVED
IN A LOT OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY,
BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER SAY
YOUR CLASS WAS BORING. I THINK I HAVE
PERFECT ATTENDANCE IN YOUR CLASS,
IF YOU CHECK THE RECORDS.
NO TARDIES. WELL, ALMOST ONE TIME
WHEN YOU SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE,
BUT I COULD HAVE MADE IT.
SORRY.
PUPPY LOVE.
YEAH, THEY'RE KINDA NER-NERVOUS.
NERVOUS. YEAH.
WELL...
BYE.
DOOP-DOOP--AW, MAN, YOU MISSED A DUMP!
BUT IT'S HER BIRTHDAY, AND SHE ASKED ME TO GO!
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, MAN.
I'M SORRY. I MEAN, I'M SITTING HERE,
I'M ALMOST CRYING.
BUT WE GO BOXING-- I CAN GO AS REGGIE!
YOU CAN GO AS MICHAEL JORDAN,
BUT YOU AIN'T GOING.
HEY, I JUST WANNA SEE WHO SHE SKATES WITH.
NO! N-O! NO!
COME ON, PLEASE, SIMMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF I LET YOU GO?
MORTON'S GONNA CALL ME IN...
HE'S GONNA CHEW MY BUTT OFF.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE? I'M GONNA SIT THERE.
MY BUTT'S GONNA GET SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER.
BY THE TIME I STAND UP, MY BACK'LL BE ON MY THIGHS,
'CAUSE I WON'T HAVE NO BUTT.
I CAN'T SIT IN CHAIRS. I'LL SLIDE OFF ON THE FLOOR.
DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO ME? OF COURSE NOT.
I CAN'T LET YOU GO, MAN.
IT SURE WOULD BE A SHAME
IF I ACCIDENTALLY TOLD MY DAD
ABOUT YOU TAKING ME BOXING.
BE A SHAME IF I THREW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW ALSO.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
SORRY.
YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE ON THE PHONE.
Simms: NO, NO, NO, NO. I DON'T LIKE THAT LOOK.
NO, NO, WAIT. WHAT'S THAT LOOK SUPPOSED TO BE,
LIKE, OH, YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING?
(RING)
WHEN YOU PICK THAT PHONE UP, YOU BETTER THINK TWICE.
(SOFTLY) Don't rat on me.
HI, DAD! UH...
YEAH, GREAT.
WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING LATELY?
ARE YOU HAPPY? I'M HAPPY. EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.
EVERYBODY'S SKATING. IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY.
ALL RIGHT? YOU FIND HER, YOU SEE WHO SHE'S WITH,
AND WE'RE OUTTA HERE, OK?
♪ SHE SITS IN THE TOP ♪
♪ OF THE GREENEST TREE ♪
♪ SHE SENDS OUT AN AROMA OF UNDEFINED LOVE ♪
♪ DRIFTS ON DOWN IN A MIST FROM ABOVE ♪
♪ SHE'S JUST A GIRL ♪
♪ SHE'S JUST A GIRL, A GIRL YOU WANT... ♪
WHAT?!
THERE SHE IS.
♪ SHE'S JUST A GIRL... ♪
WOW!
CAN WE GO NOW?
THERE SHE IS! HIDE--HIDE!
OH, YEAH, I'M HIDING. THEY CAN'T SEE ME NOW.
♪ YOU CAN HEAR HER CALLING EVERYWHERE YOU TURN ♪
♪ YOU KNOW YOU'RE HEADED... ♪
YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM ME.
NO! JUST TAKE CARE OF THIS
LITTLE TEENAGE JEALOUSY THING YOU GOT GOIN' ON,
AND WE'RE OUTTA HERE, ALL RIGHT?
BUT SHE'LL RECOGNIZE YOU!
THEN SHE'LL KNOW IT'S ME, AND IT'LL RUIN EVERYTHING.
WELL, FINE!
LET ME KNOW HOW I STAY IN HERE WITH YOU
WITHOUT HER RECOGNIZING ME,
AND I'LL GO ALONG WITH THE PLAN, OK?
WHAT?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
Boy: NICE OUTFIT!
Boy, whining: OW! EVAN!
DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT--
COME ON!
Simms: OH, GREAT. JUST GREAT.
I HAVEN'T BEEN SKATING SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.
AND BACK THEN I HAD A PIZZA FACE.
NOW I GOT A BIG GIANT PIZZA FACE.
LUKE!
REGGIE!
LET'S RIDE. REGGIE!
YOU DON'T ANSWER, I'M GOIN' HOME.
HEY! OVER HERE.
OVER HERE!
COMING. STEADY!
OOH!
OVER HERE!
ON YOUR LEFT.
NO, NO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!
Luke: EASY, THAT'S THE FLOOR.
EASY...EASY...
WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO!
HELP ME.
HELP ME!
Luke: STOP MESSING AROUND!
Simms: MY EYE! YOU JUST GOUGED MY EYE!
DON'T HELP ME. STOP. DON'T HELP!
LET GO! DON'T HELP!
JUST GET BACK. CHECK ON HER.
I'M READY TO GO HOME.
THERE SHE IS! COME ON, LET'S GO!
REGGIE! REGGIE!
REGGIE!
DON'T LEAVE ME!
WHA-WHA-WAIT--
WAIT, WAIT.
I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. WAIT.
Rob: LOSER JOB FOR THE POOR GUY.
I KNOW THAT VOICE. WHERE IS HE?
HEY--HEY! 1, 2...
I WILL SHOOT BOTH OF YOU!
HEY--OH!
STOOOOOP!
THIS AIN'T FUN.
Girl: KATIE, YOU KNOW THAT GUY IN CHEMISTRY
WITH THE REALLY BAD ACNE?
WELL, HE'S GOING OUT WITH WANDA.
GREAT PARTY, KATIE. YOU'RE SO POPULAR.
YEAH, BUT DIDN'T YOU INVITE LUKE DAVENPORT?
YEAH. I GUESS HE COULDN'T MAKE IT.
Man on P.A.: COUPLES...
COUPLES ONLY.
IF YOU'RE NOT HOLDING HANDS, SIT DOWN.
HAND-HOLDING MANDATORY.
I'LL, UH... SKATE WITH YOU.
♪ FROM NOW UNTIL ♪
♪ THE MOMENT... ♪
THIS IS, UH... A PRETTY COOL SONG, HUH?
YEAH. DO YOU HAVE THE CD?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
HAVE YOU SEEN LUKE DAVENPORT AROUND HERE?
DO I CARE?
♪ AND PROMISE YOU NOW ♪
♪ UNTIL FOREVER ♪
LUKE? HOLD UP. LUKE--
OH!
JUST SIT RIGHT THERE. JUST SIT THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
OK. CAME UP WITH MY PART OF THE DEAL.
NOW, LET'S GO, OK? LET'S JUST GO.
THEY'RE HAVING CAKE AFTER THIS.
NO, WE'RE NOT HAVING CAKE!
I HAVE A HEADACHE THIS BIG!
WE'RE NOT HAVING CAKE. WE'RE GOING HOME.
I JUST WANNA SEE WHO SHE SITS NEXT TO.
WHAT--
DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT TO YOU?
HMM? DON'T YOU ANSWER THAT.
DON'T YOU EVEN SMILE.
I BEEN POKED IN THE EYE,
I BEEN PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH,
I BEEN KICKED IN THE MEATBALLS,
AND WE ARE GOING HOME NOW--RIGHT NOW!
NOT YET.
YOU THINK I'M PLAYING? HUH?
I'M A SECRET SERVICE AGENT!
OH, MY GOD.
THAT WAS TOTALLY BIZARRE...
HOW YOU DOING?
HI.
GOD...
IF YOU WANT HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND,
JUST GIVE ME A SIGN.
Simms: I'M NOT PLAYING. I'M GOING HOME.
GOOD-BYE!
YEAH! COME ON!
HEY--HEY, I'LL GET SICK!
LET ME GO--DON'T LET ME GO!
OH, NO, MR. WIZARD!
I WANNA GO HOME!
Boy: LOOK OUT! HE'S COMING!
MOVE THE CAKE! NOOOOO!
NO--
Katie: HEY, LOOK AT MY CAKE!
THANKS A LOT, ROB, YOU JERK!
YOU RUINED MY BIRTHDAY! OHH!
THANKS.
I KNOW I CA--WELL, UH...
THERE'S THIS, UH, DANCE AT SCHOOL THIS WEEKEND,
AND...
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF MAYBE, UH...
I COULD GO AND MAYBE...
(MOUTHS WORDS)
I THINK YOU CAN GO TO THAT.
REALLY?
SURE. YEAH.
ANYBODY, UH... SPECIAL
THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOPING
THAT YOU COULD KIND OF SORT OF RUN ACROSS
AT THE DANCE AT THE SCHOOL?
UH...
W-I--I--
I DON'T KNOW. M-MAYBE--NO. YEAH.
NO. NO. NO, NOT REALLY.
WHAT ABOUT AGENT SIMMS? HOW'S HE WORKIN' OUT?
OH, HE'S GREAT. HE'S COOL AND HE'S FUN.
HE'S, YOU KNOW...
HE'S GREAT?
REALLY?
WHAT HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN DOING TOGETHER?
OH, WE DO A LOT OF THIN-- UH, YOU KNOW, STUFF.
STUFF?
YOU KNOW. STUFF. STUFF.
MM-HMM.
Davenport: I DON'T KNOW. I'LL LOOK FOR IT, BILL.
Clinton: COULD YOU CHECK AGAIN FOR ME, PAUL?
THAT SAXOPHONE REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME.
I COULD SWEAR I LEFT IT IN THE CLOSET.
BILL, WE'LL LOOK FOR IT.
I'LL CALL YA BACK. I GOTTA GO.
OH, OH! CHECK UNDER THE BED.
YUP. BYE-BYE.
BEST TO HILLARY. THANK YOU.
SIMMS.
COME ON IN.
I, UH...I WANTED TO THANK YOU.
LUKE'S REALLY DOING GREAT.
WHAT DO YOU DO TOGETHER, ANYWAY?
STUFF.
STUFF. YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID, TOO.
STUFF. WELL, WHATEVER STUFF YOU DO,
IT'S GOT TO BE GOOD STUFF,
'CAUSE IT'S WORKING, SO...THANKS A LOT.
THANK YOU, SIR.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
IT WAS A PLEASURE, CONGRESSMAN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NICE SEEING YOU.
HOW YOU DOING? HI.
HEY! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?
YES. I KNOW WHO I--
OH! OH!
SONNY BONO.
EH-UH--
OH, I LOVE YOU, MAN.
BABE IS MY FAVORITE SONG.
♪ I GOT YOU, BABE-- ♪
YOU ALWAYS SITTING THERE, ROCK--
THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
I DON'T SING ANYMORE. I'M A CONGRESSMAN.
YOU'RE GREAT! YOU'RE GREAT!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I'M ON MY WAY TO SEE
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
I'LL SEE YOU, NOW. THANK YOU VERY--
GOOD-BYE. ♪ GOT YOU, BABE ♪
I--I DON'T SING ANYMORE.
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER. THERE HE IS...
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
IT'S SONNY BONO!
SONNY BONO!
DID YOU SEE THAT, MAN?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.
HEY, THEY SAID I COULD GO TO THE DANCE!
REALLY? REALLY?
YES, REALLY!
COOL, MAN.
ALL YOU GOTTA DO NOW IS ASK KATIE OUT.
NAW, I'LL JUST-- I'LL JUST SEE HER THERE.
HOW COME YOU CAN'T ASK HER?
I DON'T KNOW. I JUST CAN'T.
Simms: TESTING. TESTING.
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
DON'T BE NERVOUS. IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT,
'CAUSE I'M WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT?
COOL, MAN. DON'T HYPERVENTILATE.
LOOK AT ME. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
GO OVER THERE.
I WANT YOU TO BE CALM, BE COOL.
KEEP AWAY FROM HER RIGHT SIDE.
DON'T LET HER SEE THE EAR PIECE.
REMEMBER NOW... BE COOL.
GO GET 'EM, LUKE.
I'M RIGHT HERE WITH YOU.
HE'S DOIN' GOOD.
Dash: BUT HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING YET, SIR.
HE'S JUST WALKING.
Simms, in ear piece: YOU'RE LOOKIN' GOOD.
LOOKIN' GOOD. GO AHEAD, BOY.
WHAT'S HE DOING?
DON'T JUST STAND THERE.
Simms: SAY HELLO.
HELLO!
GREAT. MAKE THE GIRL GO DEAF.
THEY LOVE THAT. WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.
WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.
WHAT?
YOU'RE LOSIN' HIM.
ALL RIGHT. JUST... JUST...HOW ARE YOU?
FINE, I--
NO, NOT...NOT TO ME.
Simms: ASK HER HOW SHE'S DOING.
(LOUDLY) HOW ARE YOU?
FINE.
Simms: DOING OK. HANG IN THERE.
NOW ASK HER ABOUT THE PARTY.
UH...HOW--HOW WAS YOUR PARTY?
IT WAS FUN.
UNTIL THE BOYS BEAT UP THE MASCOT.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, LUKE.
TELL HER YOU WANT THE NAMES
OF ALL THE BOYS INVOLVED--
NO, WE--
NO! N--
WHAT?
UH-WE--I MEAN...
NO!
THEY BEAT UP THE MASCOT?
DID YOU WANT SOMETHING, LUKE?
UH...YEAH, UM...
I--I W-I-- I WANTED TO SAY...
S-SAY HI. HI!
HI.
Simms: OK.
ASK HER IF SHE'S GOING TO THE DANCE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE DANCE TOMORROW,
ARE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW. NOBODY'S ASKED ME YET.
NOBODY I WANNA GO WITH, ANYWAY.
Simms: OH, YES!
YES! YES!
Simms: YES!
Simms: NOW ASK HER...
NO, NO, NO. TELL HER THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO THE DANCE WITH ANYBODY EITHER.
UH...I DON'T HAVE
ANYONE TO GO WITH, EITHER.
HAVE YOU ASKED ANYONE?
OH, SHE IS COY.
THESE KIDS, THEY WATCH TOO MANY VIDEOS.
THEY'RE GROWING UP TOO FAST!
Simms: DON'T WORRY. LUCKY FOR YOU,
YOU'RE IN EXPERT HANDS. I'LL GET YOU THROUGH THIS.
ASK HER WHO SHE WANTS TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH.
WHO--WHO DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH?
LUKE, IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME, JUST ASK ME.
UM...
JUST ASK HER.
D-DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME?
OK.
YES!
OK.
SEE--SEE YA THERE.
BYE.
SHE SAID YES!
♪ MY LIFE IS IN A SERIOUS MESS ♪
♪ MY BABY'S GONE, THERE'S HEAVY MENTAL STRESS ♪
♪ I NEVER KNEW LOVE, BUT I KNOW IT NOW ♪
♪ I WANNA GIVE HER MY HEART ♪
♪ BUT HOW? HOW? ♪
THANK YOU GUYS FOR WATCHING.
YES, YEAH, I--
I DEFINITELY HAVE TO SAY I'M...
DEFINITELY THE MOST POWERFUL KID IN THE UNIVERSE.
(DROPS TOOTHBRUSH)
♪ JUST A KISS ♪
♪ WHOO! ♪
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
I'M NOT GOING TO THE DANCE.
SAY WHAT?
MR. "MY MAMA SAID I CAN GO TO THE DANCE!
REALLY! I'M GOIN' TO THE DANCE!"
WHAT HAPPENED?
I...(MUMBLES)
I--WHO?
I can't dance.
OOHMANUU?
I SAID I CAN'T DANCE.
AW, PHFF, MAN, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE?
YOU JUST NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER DANCE SELF.
DO YOU WATCH VIDEOS? WELL, SHOW ME SOMETHING,
SOMETHING YOU'VE SEEN IN THE VIDEO.
JUST IMITATE THAT. YOU CAN DO IT--
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, LUKE.
YOU CAN DANCE! SAY IT TO YOURSELF.
"I CAN DANCE." TRY IT.
ALL RIGHT.
♪ YEAH ♪
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UH--OH!
SIMMS!
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CATCH ME.
MAN, YOU'RE WATCHING WAY TOO MUCH MTV.
GET UP HERE.
MAN, YOU'RE GONNA SCARE SOMEBODY
DOING THAT AT THE DANCE.
(MUTTERS WHILE TURNS ON RADIO)
(SWITCHING CHANNELS)
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS)
THE MAIN THING IS TO BE SMOOTH EVEN IF YOU CAN'T DANCE.
BE SMOOTH, FIND A BEAT,
AND GO TO THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE FLOOR
SO NOBODY CAN SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING FROM THE WAIST DOWN.
IF YOU COULDN'T SEE ME, I'D BE DOING THIS.
I AIN'T DOIN' NOTHING, BUT IT LOOKS GOOD.
OK? HERE WE GO.
FIND YOUR BEAT, JUST LIKE YOU'RE BOXING.
OK, SIDE TO SIDE.
IT'S A VERY BASIC MOVE, BUT IT LOOKS GOOD.
YOU GOT YOUR SIDE-TO-SIDE MOVE. BITE YOUR LIP.
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DOING A LOT MORE THAN WHAT YOU'RE DOIN
♪ WHAT DO YOU THINK? ♪
♪ WHAT IS IT CALLED? ♪
LITTLE PELVIC THRUST. TRY THIS. UH!
UH!
OH, THEY LIKE THAT, MAN.
THEY WON'T SAY NOTHIN', BUT THEY'LL SMILE.
THERE YOU GO, MAN. ALL RIGHT! THERE IT IS!
BITE THAT LIP NOW!
THIS IS COOL!
DO THE PELVIS! DO THE PELVIC MOVE!
YEAH.
ONLY ONE. JUST ONE PER SONG.
YEAH. SORRY.
POINT AT PEOPLE LIKE YOU KNOW 'EM.
WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S UP? THERE YOU GO. YEAH!
JUST--JUST DON'T JUMP AROUND, NOW.
YEAH, THIS IS COOL. THIS IS GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, MAN. SEE, YOU'RE A DANCING FOOL, MAN!
LOOK AT THAT! TALKING ABOUT YOU CAN'T DANCE.
YOU GOT IT!
THERE YOU GO. SIDE TO SIDE.
♪ DO YOU WANNA GO, UH ♪
♪ TO THE LAND OF FUNK? ♪
♪ FUNK ♪
♪ TO THE LAND OF FUNK ♪
♪ FUNK ♪
I DON'T KNOW, CHIEF.
Man: WELL, SIR?
GET THE BOMB SQUAD.
♪ NOW THIS MOVE'S SO FUNKY, HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? ♪
♪ WHAT IS IT CALLED, IT'S CALLED A LAKESIDE STANK ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
HEY!
HEY, HOW YOU DOIN', SIR? PRACTICING DANCE STEPS HERE.
GUYS, I HAVE BAD NEWS.
THE TRIP TO THE DANCE HAS BEEN CANCELED.
Simms: WHY? WHY?
THERE'S A POSSIBLE CODE 4 UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
BUT MY DAD SAID I COULD GO.
I'M NOT GROUNDED ANYMORE!
I'M SORRY. I CAN'T ALLOW YOU OFF THE GROUNDS.
THAT'S JUST GREAT!
HEY, HEY!
HOLD IT. NOW HOLD IT, HOLD IT. WHY NOT, SIR?
Morton: THERE'S AN ABANDONED DUFFLE BAG
ON THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE THE MAIN ENTRANCE.
OH, COME ON. THAT HAPPENS, WHAT, 50 TIMES A DAY.
PROBABLY BELONGS TO A TOURIST.
THE BOMB SQUAD IS INVESTIGATING IT.
YOU HAVE TO LET THIS BOY GO TO THE DANCE, SIR.
SIMMS...I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,
AND I DON'T BREAK THE RULES.
I'M SORRY, LUKE.
THERE'LL BE OTHER DANCES.
PUT THIS ON.
WE'RE GOIN' TO THE DANCE.
(MUSIC PLAYS)
♪ UP IN MY CHRYSLER ♪
♪ IT'S AS BIG AS A WHALE ♪
♪ AND IT'S ABOUT TO SET SAIL ♪
♪ I GOT ME A CAR ♪
♪ IT SEATS ABOUT 20-SOMETHING ♪
♪ COME ON, AND BRING YOUR JUKEBOX MONEY ♪
♪ THE LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE ♪
♪ WHERE WE CAN ♪
♪ GET TOGETHER ♪
♪ LOVE SHACK BABY ♪
♪ LOVE SHACK BAY-BEE ♪
♪ LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ LO-LO-LOVE SHACK... ♪
OVER THERE.
♪ LO-LO-LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ LO-LO-LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ LO-LO-LOVE SHACK ♪
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D MAKE IT.
NEITHER DID I.
♪ LO-LO-LOVE SHACK ♪
♪ LOVE SHACK... ♪
COME ON. LET'S DANCE.
(NEW SONG BEGINS)
(MUSIC PLAYS, INDISTINCT SINGING)
(MOUTHING)
(BOYS LAUGHING)
DORK.
LOOK AT HIM!
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT MOVE?
OH. TYING MY SHOE. JUST TYING MY SHOE.
THE KIDS ARE DANCING. SOMEBODY STEPPED ON MY FOOT.
OH.
SURPRISED TO SEE YOU HERE AT THE SCHOOL DANCE.
Ms. Lawrence: WHY'S THAT?
I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT
ON YOUR AGENDA THAN A SCHOOL DANCE.
REALLY?
WHAT ABOUT YOU, MR. SIMMS?
OH, I'M...WORKING. UNDERCOVER.
ME, TOO.
I'M CHAPERONING.
UNDERCOVER.
WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.
(SLOW SONG BEGINS)
(GROANS) OHH...
EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOME UNDERCOVER WORK?
YEAH.
HELP THE PRESIDENT'S SON OUT? COULD BE DANGEROUS.
♪ THEY READ YOU CINDERELLA ♪
♪ YOU HOPED IT WOULD COME TRUE ♪
♪ THAT ONE DAY YOUR PRINCE CHARMING ♪
♪ WOULD COME RESCUE YOU ♪
♪ YOU LIKE ROMANTIC MOVIES ♪
♪ YOU NEVER WILL FORGET ♪
♪ THE WAY YOU FELT WHEN ROMEO KISSED JULIET ♪
OW!
SORRY.
♪ ALL THIS TIME THAT YOU-- ♪
(LUKE'S VOICE)
♪ I CAN LOVE YOU LIKE THAT ♪
♪ I WOULD MAKE YOU MY WORLD ♪
♪ MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH ♪
♪ IF YOU WERE MY GIRL ♪
♪ I WILL GIVE YOU MY HEART ♪
♪ BE ALL THAT YOU NEED ♪
♪ SHOW YOU YOU'RE EVERYTHING ♪
♪ THAT'S PRECIOUS TO ME ♪
♪ IF YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE-- ♪
Agent: CHIEF.
(LUKE'S COMPUTER VOICE) GO AWAY.
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
LEAVE ME ALONE. I SAID I'M NOT--
LEAVE ME ALONE-- GO AWAY--NOT--
Agent: UUHH!
GET THE CLOSETS. WANNA GET THAT?
I'M NOT TOUCHING IT.
I AIN'T TOUCHING THAT EITHER.
IT'S ALL CLEAR.
LET'S GO.
Both: PUT THE SNAKE BACK IN THE CAGE.
♪ GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ GOIN' ON ♪
♪ BUH-BUH-BUH, BABY ♪
♪ YOU AND ME GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOING ON ♪
♪ YOU AND ME, YOU AND ME ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON AND ON ♪
(SONG ENDS)
WHERE'D YOU LEARN HOW TO DANCE LIKE THAT?
SIMMS.
YOU GOT A PROBLEM?
YEAH, I DO.
STAND BACK, KATIE.
COME ON, LUKE, DON'T.
Kids: OOH!
Simms: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
COME ON, HIT ME! HIT ME AGAIN!
GO CLEAN YOUR FACE OFF. GO ON NOW.
Rob: I'M GONNA GET YOU!
WHAT DID I TEACH YOU ABOUT FIGHTING?
EVERYTHING.
THAT'S RIGHT, MAN.
(SIGHS) GREAT.
GUESS I GOTTA GO.
CALL ME, OK?
SOON AS I CAN.
YOU'RE BOTH FINISHED.
SIR, AGENT DASH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
YES, I DID.
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP? SIR, I'M HIS SUPERIOR OFFICER,
AND I TOLD HIM TO KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT.
FINE. YOU'RE STILL FINISHED.
BADGE AND FIREARM NOW!
FINE.
NOW GET OUTTA HERE.
SIR, CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
NO!
WELL, I'M GONNA SAY IT ANYWAY. I WAS RIGHT.
YOU CAN'T KEEP THAT KID LOCKED UP IN HIS ROOM.
HE'S NOT A CONVICT, MORTON! HE'S JUST A KID!
I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS.
THERE ARE 2 UNIFORMS
WHO WILL ESCORT YOU OFF THE GROUNDS.
CAN I AT LEAST TELL LUKE GOODBYE BEFORE I GO?
NO! YOU WILL NOT CONTACT HIM
UNTIL THE INVESTIGATION IS OVER!
I'LL TELL HIM YOU SAID GOODBYE.
NOW, GET OUT.
I SEE YOU'RE STILL BUYING TIES AT THE SWAP MEET.
GET OUT!
GET HIM OUTTA HERE!
Morton: SORRY ABOUT THIS, LUKE,
BUT YOU LEFT US NO CHOICE.
WHAT IS THIS?
YOU ARE CONFINED TO QUARTERS
UNTIL YOUR PARENTS ARE BACK IN TOWN.
WHERE'S SIMMS?
SIMMS IS NO LONGER WITH THE AGENCY.
WELL, DID HE LEAVE ME A NOTE, ANYTHING?
LUKE, DID ANY OF YOUR OTHER AGENTS
SAY GOODBYE?
JUST GET OUT OF HERE! LEAVE!
THIS ISN'T YOUR ROOM. GET OUTTA HERE!
(PULSING)
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
Luke: I'M HOUSE ARRESTED.
LIKE A TRACKER OR SOMETHING.
"IF YOU COULD GET IT OFF, WOULD YOU GO?"
OKAY, LET'S DO IT.
(WHISPERS) Come on, Brandy. Come on.
Announcer: HERE'S THE PITCH.
THERE'S A FLY BALL...
OH, YEAH. OH!
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
COME ON, BRANDY.
OK, BRANDY. COME ON.
GO GET THE BALL! GO!
(RUFF RUFF)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
LUKE, YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE ON THE PHONE.
LUKE!
AW!
HE'S GONE.
LET'S GO. RIGHT.
Morgan: WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO ESCAPE?
WHO TAUGHT HIM DISGUISES? YOU DID, SIMMS!
WE WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU!
Simms: HE'S NOT A PRISONER HERE.
WE FOUND HER BY THE REFLECTING POOL...
WEARING THIS.
NO LUKE.
YOU TAUGHT HIM WELL, SIMMS.
NOW, I'M GONNA ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME...
HAS HE TRIED TO CONTACT YOU IN ANY WAY?
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU--NO!
I WANNA FIND LUKE JUST AS BAD AS YOU DO.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE?
I SPOKE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND KATIE WARREN.
HE CALLED HER AND SAID HE WAS OK.
SAID HE'D STOP BY HER HOUSE TONIGHT.
ADDRESS? I'VE GOT IT.
BUT HE SAID HE WAS MEETING ANOTHER FRIEND FIRST.
DIDN'T SAY WHERE.
OK. LET'S GO.
NO, NO, NO. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
I'M GOING TO HELP.
NO. YOU'VE HELPED ENOUGH ALREADY.
YOU'RE A CIVILIAN.
HELP MR. SIMMS FIND HIS WAY OUT!
Morton: COME ON, LET'S GO. LET'S MOVE IT!
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
HEY, SIMMS, I ALMOST FORGOT.
HERE'S THAT STUFF YOU WANTED, THAT INTERNET STUFF.
THIS IS GREAT.
CAN I TRY THIS ONE?
SURE. IT'S $10.
DOWN THERE.
Ominous game voice: TIME TO DIE.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
DUDE, WHAT? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LOST YOUR JOB.
THE KID IS MISSING. I NEED YOUR HELP, HAROLD.
YOU FORGOT TO RECHARGE IT, RIGHT?
GIMME, GIMME, GIMME.
(BEEPING)
(ELECTRONIC TONES)
SIMMS.
WHAT?
HE'S IN THE MALL.
OK!
EDDIE!
Eddie: YEAH.
CALL THE SECRET SERVICE
AND TELL THEM TO GET DOWN HERE FOR A CODE 5.
PRINCE IS HERE.
THEY'LL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. GO!
I DON'T KNOW.
SIGNAL'S WEAK. THERE'S SOME KIND OF INTERFERENCE.
GO DOWN TO THE SECOND FLOOR. I'LL CHECK THIS WAY.
OK. GO AHEAD!
Computer: BEHIND YOU.
(TONE)
Computer voice: CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR.
(TONE)
(TONE FEEDBACK)
Computer voice: THAT WAS CLOSE.
AH!
GAME OVER. YOU'RE DEAD.
GIG'S UP, KID. LET'S GO.
WHY'D THEY SEND YOU?
ENTIRE AGENCY'S LOOKING FOR YOU.
YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY
BLEW IT THIS TIME, LUKE.
(SLAPS) OW! OW!
HEY!
HEY, I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET SOMEBODY HERE.
NEED MY BAG. LEAVE IT.
I GOT IT!
ALL RIGHT.
COMING THROUGH, COMING THROUGH.
COMING THROUGH.
OUT OF THE WAY!
Woods: GO.
Luke: HEY!
UNH!
WATCH YOUR BACK! WATCH YOUR BACK!
EXCUSE ME.
AAH! LET ME GO.
COMING THROUGH, COMING THROUGH.
OUT OF THE WAY!
AAH! HEY!
(LUKE GRUNTING)
EXCUSE ME... EXCUSE ME.
Luke: HEY, COME ON!
UNH!
LOOK OUT!
OUT OF THE WAY!
AAH!
OUT OF THE WAY! WATCH IT! GET OUT OF THE WAY!
HEY, HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
I MET YOU ONCE WITH SIMMS. WHAT'S UP?
HEY, WHO IS HE?
SHUT UP!
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
SHUT UP!
Luke: SIMMS!
Simms: HOW YOU DOING, WOODS?
MAN, I'M GLAD I FOUND YOU.
WHY DON'T WE JUST TAKE THE KID BACK TO MY CAR--WE'LL BE OK.
TAKE A HIKE, SIMMS.
YOU'RE NOT WITH THE SERVICE ANYMORE.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THE KID'S OK, ALL RIGHT?
KID'S FINE!
I CAN HANDLE IT.
I'LL TELL MORTON YOU WERE A GOOD GUY.
STAND ASIDE.
SIMMS--SIMMS, YOU GOTTA HELP ME.
PLEASE HELP ME.
STAND ASIDE.
WOODS, COME ON, MAN.
HE'S JUST A KID, MAN.
HE'S ONLY 13 YEARS OLD, ALL RIGHT?
21 IF YOU'RE AN OLDER GIRL, RIGHT?
YOU'RE MONGOOSE 12.
SIMMS, HE'S MONGOOSE 12.
JUST LET HIM GO.
Crowd: WHOA! HEY!
BACK OFF, SIMMS!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
(SCREAMING)
BACK OFF, SIMMS! I'M BACK!
BACK OFF, SIMMS!
I DON'T GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOU!
YOU HURT THIS KID,
YOU'LL HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ME, ALL RIGHT?
YOU'LL HAVE PROBLEMS WITH EVERYBODY.
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET THE KID GO?
Woods: SHUT UP!
I SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH THIS KID
I LOST MY WIFE!
I LOST MY JOB!
HE EVEN GOT ME FIRED!
COME ON, YOU CAN'T BLAME THE KID FOR THAT.
HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. YOU KNOW THAT.
HE THOUGHT HE WASN'T SAFE WITH ME.
WELL, HE'S NOT SAFE WITHOUT ME.
AND I'M PROVING IT RIGHT NOW!
I'M THE ONE WHO LURED HIM OUT OF CROWN,
AND WHEN I TAKE HIM BACK, I'M GONNA BE A HERO!
SO BACK OFF, SIMMS!
I'M TAKING HIM OUT OF HERE!
CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, MAN.
DON'T PUSH ME! DON'T PUSH ME!
BACK OFF! BACK OFF!
ALL RIGHT.
YO, LOOK AROUND. CALM DOWN.
MALL FULL OF PEOPLE, MAN. THEY'RE SHOPPING, HUH?
GOT WOMEN, GOT CHILDREN.
YOU DON'T WANT TO SHOOT ANYBODY.
WOULD YOU JUST CALM DOWN?
YOU DON'T WANT TO SHOOT ANYBODY.
YEAH...I DO.
NO!
(GUNFIRE)
ALL RIGHT!
FEEL LIKE I'M WORKING AT THE POST OFFICE.
LUKE, YOU OK?
DAMN.
LUKE!
(UNLOADS)
HE'S OUT.
UNH! UNH!
UNH! OH!
AAH!
UNH!
(GROANING)
(BONG)
OH!
OOH!
AAH!
(PANTING)
HOW YOU DOING, CHAMP?
GOOD, I GUESS.
ALL RIGHT.
THANKS. THANKS FOR COMING AFTER ME.
HEY, IT'S MY JOB, MAN.
YOU OK?
MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK-- TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING.
(GASPS)
SIMMS!
AAH!
WOODS!
OH!
SAM!
SIMMS! SIMMS! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
AAH! AAH!
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT IF YOU QUIT PUSHING ME LIKE THAT.
EASY...
SAM, YOU OK?
YEAH, MAN.
HEY, WHAT YOU DOING OUTSIDE THE CAR?
SORRY, SIR, I JUST COULDN'T WAIT IN THE CAR ANY LONGER.
IT'S JUST A JOKE, MAN.
Man: ALL RIGHT, GUYS. LUKE, GO!
...SO MUCH.
THANK YOU, SIMMS.
...AND THE KIDS LOVED IT.
OH! HA HA HA!
WILKES, MS. LAWRENCE.
YES, SIR.
SIMMS, I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS.
THE DAVENPORTS
ASKED ME TO REASSIGN YOU.
AS OF 1700 HOURS TOMORROW,
YOU'RE OFFICIALLY ON EAGLE DETAIL.
HEY...
AH--OW! OW! OW.
I'M SORRY.
THANK YOU, SIR.
I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
BUT I'M SORRY-- I CAN'T.
SAM!
THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED.
YOU'VE EARNED IT.
THIS IS THE BEST JOB IN THE AGENCY,
AND YOU'RE TAKING IT.
WHAT, AND MISS BIOLOGY 102 NEXT YEAR?
I DON'T THINK SO.
BESIDES, I THOUGHT I WANTED TO GUARD EAGLE.
I FOUND WHAT I WANT. I'M HAPPY WHERE I AM.
I MEAN, I'VE ALREADY TAKEN A BULLET FOR THE KID.
IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE.
LOOK, OUT THERE PLAYING A LITTLE HOCKEY.
NO!
(HIP-HOP MUSIC BEGINS)
OH...
YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU OK?
CAN I SEE THE PUCK?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH IT?
LEAVE IT TO ME.
WHAT?
TIME-OUT.
Luke: YEAH, LIKE I DID IT ON PURPOSE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE KID.
DAD. PROTECT ME, DAD.
Wilkes: COME ON. HEY, SAM!
♪ COME ON, GIVE ME THE HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
Luke: HEY, DAD!
♪ YOU AND ME ON THE WILD RIDE ♪
♪ RIDE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ WE'RE GOIN' TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M COMING THROUGH FOR YOU ♪
♪ WE'RE BOTH IN THIS TOGETHER ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A HERO ♪
♪ BUT IF YOU'RE STRIKING ZERO ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT BETTER ♪
♪ I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FRIEND ♪
♪ YOU AND ME, WE'RE IN THIS TILL THE END ♪
♪ SO COME ON, GIVE ME THE HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ON A WILD RIDE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ WHENEVER YOU GET LONELY, FEELING BLUER THAN BLUE ♪
♪ I'M GONNA GET YOU THROUGH IT ♪
♪ YES, I WILL ♪
♪ AND WHEN I FEEL DISCOURAGED ♪
♪ YOU HELP ME FIND MY COURAGE ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT ♪
♪ DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT'S BEEN--NO ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU AND ME-- THIS TIME WE'RE GONNA WIN ♪
♪ SO COME ON, GIVE ME THE HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ON A WILD RIDE ♪
♪ RIDE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YO, THEY SAY THAT THERE'S A HERO ♪
♪ IN EVERY ONE OF US ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO DO ♪
♪ IS TEACH YOURSELF TO TRUST ♪
♪ A BRAVE MAN TO THE RESCUE ♪
♪ A LEGEND TO US ALL ♪
♪ WHEN DAVID FOUGHT GOLIATH ♪
♪ YOU KNOW, THE BIG GUY TOOK THE FALL ♪
♪ COURAGE IS THE BACKBONE ♪
♪ OF THIS HEROIC CREED ♪
♪ YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ♪
♪ THAT STRENGTH IN TIMES OF NEED ♪
♪ A HERO OR A HEROINE ♪
♪ IN EVERY BOY AND GIRL ♪
♪ SHINING LIKE A STAR ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF THE WORLD ♪
♪ COME ON, GIVE ME THE HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ON THE WILD RIDE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YOU CAN COUNT ON ME ♪
♪ IN A TIME OF NEED ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND ♪
♪ TILL THE END ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON, ON ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY BUENA VISTA TELEVISION
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
♪ COME ON, GIVE ME THE HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ON A WILD RIDE ♪
♪ WE GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON, ON ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ GOIN' ON ♪
♪ B-B-B-B-BABY ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ HIGH FIVE ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ YOU AND ME, YOU AND ME ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YOU AND ME ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON ♪
♪ GOT IT GOIN' ON AND ON ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
(RECORD SCRATCHES)