晚上好 Good evening.
我刚刚完成了一个非常有意思的装置 I'm just completing,a rather interesting device.
我想它会让你开心的 I think it will amuse you.
今晚我们会讲一个故事... Tonight we are presenting,a story...
先申明一下 I should have explained.
这是设计好的 You see, this is arranged
如果有人想要用遥控器 so that anyone touching,the channel selector
来换频道 to change programs
就会被严重电击 gets a nasty shock.
我们非常希望观众们可以锁定我们频道 We rather hope we will improve,the loyalty of our viewers.
又有个人倒了 There goes another one.
这可不是开玩笑的 It's no trifling matter.
25000伏特的电压哦 25,000 volts.
可以将他们变成熏肉 Leaves them crisp as bacon.
遗憾的是 它有一个缺点 Unfortunately, it has one shortcoming.
就是把电视机的显像管也烧毁了 It also burns out,the television tube,
那些失去亲人的人 making it impossible,for the bereaved
就不能把电视看完了 to watch,the rest of the show.
好吧 没有什么是十全十美的 Well, nothing is perfect
没有什么比得上一个完美的恶作剧 and there's nothing,like a good practical joke.
至少今晚故事里的主角是这么想的 At least that's what a character,in tonight's play thought.
The Night The World ENded
我跟他说 "你要去哪里?" Well, I said to him, "Where you going?"
他说 "我不知道" He says, "I don't know. "
然后他就走出了门 The next thing I know, he goes out the door,
那是我最后一次见他 and that's the last time,I ever saw him.
那很好 That's good.
你又来了 Nick 给我加满 There you go, Nick, put a head on it.
Halloran先生 要再来一杯啤酒吗? Have another beer, Mr. Halloran?
好的 I'll have another one.
敬你 Halloran To you, Halloran,
为你在我年轻时教我的2件事 for teaching me two things,in my youth.
这位优秀的新闻记者 This great newspaperman
教我永远不要相信任何人 taught me,never to trust anyone,
尤其是Halloran先生 especially Mr. Halloran.
但我教会你如何去得到新闻 But I told you,how to get a story.
是的 用钱买 Yeah, for a price.
怎么会? How come?
Halloran先生他做什么的? And what did,Mr. Halloran do?
我那时才20岁 是个初出茅庐的公报记者 I was only 20 at the time, just a cub on the gazette.
我叫他去采访机枪王Riley I told him to go to Machine Gun Riley to get a story.
我想Riley会让这小子震撼一下 I figured that Riley would give,the kid the scare of his life
把他摔个嘴啃泥 and just toss him out,on his kisser.
不 你没有 那只是你捉弄我的点子 No, you didn't. It was your idea of a joke.
那 然后呢? So, what happened?
机枪王Riley把我从二楼的窗口扔了出来 Machine Gun Riley tossed me,out of his second story window
我在医院里住了3个月 I was in the hospital,for three months.
Halloran先生 你20年来都没变 Mr. Halloran, you haven't,changed in 20 years.
哪里 我分明是好意 Well, I mean well.
我只是个喜欢恶作剧的人 I'm just a guy,who likes a practical joke.
好吧 你是好意 Sure, you mean well.
你那恶作剧的主意 Your idea of,a practical joke is
使某人断了一条腿 to get somebody,to break a leg.
好了 晚安 你这虐待狂 Well, good night, you sadist.
我得回办公室去了 I gotta get,back to the desk.
再见 晚安 Jim So long. Good night, Jim.
今晚还有什么头条吗 Halloran先生 Any big headlines tonight, Mr. Halloran?
没了 今晚是这几年里最无聊的晚上了 No. It's the deadest night,in years.
任何一条突发新闻或失恋者的回答 Either a story breaks,or Answers to the Lovelorn
都将成为早九点的头条 will be the hottest news,in the 9 a. m. Final.
Halloran先生... Mr. Halloran...
哇 Johnny 伙计 你醒了! Why, Johnny, my boy, you woke up!
你能请我喝一杯吗? Will you stake me,to a drink?
当然了 Johnny Well, sure, Johnny.
给他一杯酒 Give him a drink.
哈 谢了 Oh, gee, thanks.
你想喝什么 John What'll it be, John?
呃 我能...我能喝点好酒吗? Uh, could I... Could I have the good stuff?
当然可以 给他好酒 Certainly. Give him the good stuff.
怎么啦 Johnny What's the matter, Johnny?
你没必要这样 Halloran先生 You didn't have to,do that, Mr. Halloran.
一点也不好笑 我的舌头烧伤了 That wasn't funny. I burnt my tongue.
只是点家具上光剂 That was just,a little furniture polish.
John 这是好酒 John, here's the good stuff.
我请了 And it's on the house.
哦 太谢谢了 Nick Oh, thanks a lot, Nick.
Halloran先生! Halloran先生! Mr. Halloran! Mr. Halloran!
怎么啦 Timothy What's the matter, Timothy?
嗨 Halloran先生 看这个 Hey, Mr. Halloran, get a load of this.
这是晨报 It's the morning edition.
让我看看 是什么 Let me see, what is it?
让我看看 Let's see.
"世界末日 今晚11:45" "World ends tonight, 11:45."
一定搞错了 It must be a mistake.
让我看一下 让我看一下 Let me read it. Let me read it.
怎么啦 Halloran先生 What's the matter, Mr. Halloran?
"火星撞地球" "Collision with Mars.
"火星脱离了轨道" "Mars pulled,out of its orbit
"在太阳能引力的突然转变下" "by sudden gravitational shift,in the sun's powers. "
继续 还说了些什么? Go on. What else does it say?
"火星飞向太阳" "Mars is pulling,toward the sun
"并撞向地球" "and rushing for the Earth. "
于今晚11:45击中我们 It hits us,at 11:45 tonight.
只剩下3小时了 Gives us,only three hours.
我没带眼镜 I ain't got my glasses on,
你说这一切都将在3小时内发生? but you say it's all,gonna happen in three hours?
三小时 然后就永别了 Three hours and goodbye.
也许只是虚惊一场 Well, maybe,it's just a scare.
对对 你怎么看 Halloran先生 Yeah, yeah. What do,you think, Mr. Halloran?
我不知道 报上说 I don't know. It says right here
哈佛大学和帕洛马天文台都证实了 Harvard University,and Palomar both confirm it.
国内最权威的天文学家都一致认为 The best astronomers,in the country agree.
死定了 Dead.
我们大家三小时后都会死 All of us dead in three hours.
啊 那我们现在怎么办 Halloran先生? Well, what are we gonna do, Mr. Halloran?
你去哪里 Johnny Where are you,going, Johnny?
我不知道 I don't know.
如果我只能再活三小时 If I only got,three hours to live,
我想我应该做些什么 I guess I ought to do,something with them hours.
一些我...我...哦 我得赶紧 Something I... Well, I better hurry.
你打算做什么 John But what are you,gonna do, John?
我不知道 I don't know.
那个傻瓜信以为真! How that stumblebum,fell for it!
排版部肯定乱成一团了 The composing room,sure yelled about
整理一张额外的限量版 setting up extra type for,a limited edition of one.
那又怎样 伙计,我怕Johnny看到这版的其它部分 So what? Boy, I was scared that,Johnny would read the rest of the page.
不过他没带眼镜 那正是我所希望的 But he hasn't got glasses. That's what I was counting on.
我想知道他要干什么 I wonder what he'll do.
管他呢! 这是一个大笑话 Who cares?,It was a great gag.
你知道的 他很害怕 Halloran先生 You know, he was mighty,scared, Mr. Halloran.
他有什么好怕的 What the devil's he got,to be scared about?
他的世界几年前就结束了 His world,ended years ago.
把桌子收拾一下 Nick 后果我承担 Set them up, Nick, I'll stand the treat.
为了看那老家伙的表情 Just seeing the expression,on the old guy's face
再麻烦也值得 was worth the trouble.
世界末日 End of the world.
Stern先生 Mr. Stern.
哦 是你呀 Johnny 老规矩半品脱? Oh, it's you, Johnny. The usual half pint?
哦 我没带钱 Oh, I ain't got,any money.
不过那已经无关紧要了 对吗? But that don't matter,no more, does it?
我的意思是,鉴于我们只有几个小时可以活了 I mean, seeing as how we,only got a few hours left.
你在瞎扯什么呢? What are you,gabbing about?
你没听说吗 Stern先生 Ain't you heard, Mr. Stern?
11:45 就是世界末日 The world's coming,to an end at 11:45.
是啊 是啊 Sure, sure.
那我告诉你 Johnny So I tell you what, Johnny,
因为世界末日来临 because the world,is coming to an end,
我可以为了半品脱把你铐起来 I'll put you on the cuff,for a half a pint.
你可以下星期付我钱 You can pay me next week.
没功夫开玩笑 Stern先生 This ain't no time,to joke, Mr. Stern.
下星期我们都不在了 Next week,we won't be here.
你为什么就不能给我一些真正的好酒呢 Why can't you give me,some real good liquor?
你跟我现在没什么分别 It can't make no difference,now to you or to me.
我们都应该在剩下不多的时间里做些好事 All of us ought to do something,good for the little time we got left,
像样的事 something decent.
你可以帮我一个大忙 You could do me,a big favor.
在我死前 Just once more,before I die,
我想再尝尝那样的好酒 I'd like to taste,fine stuff like that.
我曾经喝过一次进口的白兰地 There was a time I used,to drink imported cognac,
信不信由你 believe it or not.
你看 Johnny Look, Johnny,
我正在盘货 I'm taking inventory.
很晚了 我很忙 别烦我了 It's late. I'm a busy man. Leave me alone, huh?
带着这个走吧 Now, take this,and leave.
我说了走开 Johnny I said beat it, Johnny.
给我回来 Johnny! You come back, Johnny!
快回来 Johnny! Come back here, Johnny!
给我接警察局 Give me the police.
不要形单影只 Can't let a man alone.
对他们百害而无一利 Never did them no harm.
没时间对别人苛刻了 It's no time,to be mean to anybody.
哦 亲爱的 真对不起 Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
你买酒回家吃饭? You were taking wine,home for dinner?
瓶子都打破了 And the bottles,are all broken.
你那漂亮的外套也弄脏了 And your nice coat,is all spotted!
是的 女士 酒 Yes, ma'am, wine.
哎呀 我必须赔偿你 Well, I must,make amends.
我就住在附近的街角 I only live,around the corner.
我可以把你的外套洗干净 I could clean your coat
并给你一杯热茶 and give you,a nice hot cup of tea.
来 Fritzi 真是个好孩子 Come, Fritzi, that's a good girl.
真是个好孩子 That's a good girl.
过来 Mimi Come on, Mimi.
我们终于到家了 Here we are,at home at last.
过来吧 这边走 You come right along. Here we go.
Cheetah 过来 Mimi 跟着走 Cheetah. Come on, Mimi. Come along.
这就对了 That's it.
下去 马上就到你们的房间了 Down we go, and we're,going right into your room.
哦 哦 您请便 先生... Oh, uh, do make yourself,comfortable, Mr...
叫我Johnny Call me Johnny.
哦 不 这么短时间来不及啊 Oh, no, not on such short notice.
我是Green I'm Miss Green.
Felicia Green Felicia Green.
现在 你们都睡个好觉 Now, you all have,a lovely sleep
并梦到好骨头 and dream,about beautiful bones
和讨厌的猫 and nasty cats.
我来帮你 May I help you?
哦 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我去备茶 Tea next.
啊 Green小姐 Uh, Miss Green,
现在几点了 what time is it?
已经很晚了 It's rather late.
我的钟显示是10点10分 My clock says 10:10.
茶壶已经放上去了 Now, the kettle's on
很快我们就有热茶喝了 and soon we'll have,a sizzling cup of hot tea.
你把外套脱下来让我帮你弄干净吧? Now, please, may I have,your jacket so I can clean it?
照我说的做 Do as I say.
我想我是幸运的 I sure was lucky.
幸运? 怎么个幸运法? Lucky? How?
我是说 这种时候,还能发生这么美妙的事情 I mean, something wonderful,happening at a time like this.
你什么意思? What do you mean?
我是说... I mean...
我是说 当一切都要终结的时候 Well, just when,it's all coming to an end.
什么要终结? Whatever,is coming to an end?
哦 你没看报纸? Oh, you ain't seen,the paper?
嗯 我还没看 No, I haven't.
报纸怎么说? But what about,the paper?
哦 我... Well, I...
茶好了 The tea.
你刚才说什么来着? What were you saying?
也没什么 It doesn't matter.
来这里 Come in here.
坐吧 Sit there.
请坐吧 Do sit down.
谢谢 Thank you.
谢谢 Thanks.
你不喜欢茶? You don't like tea?
太烫了 It's hot.
你知道吗 你是15年来 Do you know, you are the first gentleman
继Gregory后第一位 in 15 years, since Gregory,
被允许进入这屋子的绅士 who's been allowed,in this house?
唔 Gregory? Uh, Gregory?
他是最大的 He's the largest one.
那条有漂亮尾巴的德国牧羊犬 The German shepherd,with the beautiful tail.
我不明白 像你这么好的女士 I don't understand,how a nice lady like you,
我想说 居然没结婚 I mean, isn't married.
哦 我年轻时要求太高 Well, when I was young, I had high hopes.
随着岁月逝去 已无人问津了 But then as the years passed, no one asked.
请喝茶吧 Do drink your tea.
你不感到寂寞吗? Ain't it been lonesome?
哦 天哪 不 Oh, gracious, no.
我有教会的工作 With my church work
还有那些狗 没事在公园里散散步... and the dogs,and walking in the park...
我没时间去寂寞 I don't have time,to be lonely.
你真幸运 You've been lucky.
你结婚了吗? Are you married?
结过 I was.
哦 Oh.
她死了 孩子也死了 She died, the baby died.
很久以前? Long ago?
30年了 Thirty years.
没有其他亲人了吗? There's no one left?
还有一个哥哥 叫Chuck,我有好多年没见他了 I got an older brother, Chuck, I ain't seen years and years.
真可笑 Funny.
我好久不想这些了 I ain't thought about,any of it in a long time.
哦 真抱歉问你这么 Oh, I'm so sorry,to have asked you questions
私人的问题 of such a personal nature.
哦 不 没关系 Oh, no. That's all right.
我只是好久没跟人交谈了 It's just that I ain't had,nobody to talk with.
我想那也是为什么我不会去想她 I guess that's why,I ain't thought about her,
也不想孩子和Chuck的原因吧 or the baby or Chuck.
当你没人可以交谈的时候 When you ain't got,nobody to talk with,
你就不会去思考或怀念 you don't do much,thinking or remembering.
有什么麻烦吗? Is anything,the matter?
哦 没有 Oh, no.
女士? Ma'am?
嗯 Yes.
Green小姐 Miss Green,
我能在茶里加点带劲的吗? could I put a little,something stronger in this tea?
哦 亲爱的 如果你一定要的话 Oh, dear. If you must.
谢谢 Thank you.
哦 我希望你也来点 Oh, I wish you would have,just a little.
能给茶加点味 It flavors the tea.
那就稍微加几滴 Just perhaps,a few drops.
给 Johnny Here, Johnny.
污点差不多弄干净了 The spots,are almost gone.
谢谢 Felicia Thanks, Felicia.
哦 现在几点了? Oh, what time is it?
10点半多点 It's a little after,10:30.
有什么不对吗? Is anything wrong?
你有约会吗? Do you have,an appointment?
我们都有 We all have.
你什么意思? What do you mean?
哦 我不是抱怨 Oh, I ain't complaining.
地球上没人像我一样幸运了 Nobody on earth is,as lucky as I am.
能跟你这样的人在一起直到世界末日 Having somebody like you to,be with until the world ends.
你在说什么啊? What did you say?
我想我已经结束了孑然一身的日子 I thought,I'd end my days alone.
现在我想跟你在一起直到一切都终结 But now I'll be with you,until it's all over.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know,what you mean,
但你不能呆在这间屋子里 but you can't stay here,in this house.
这太过分了 It's quite unthinkable.
Felicia 我们都在同一条船上 Look, Felicia, we're both in the same boat.
在全世界崩溃的时候 Isn't it good to know that,you'll be with someone
有人跟你在一起难道不好吗? till the whole world blows up?
我们可以死能同穴 And us with it, dead?
这能使你感到些许的宁静 It should make you feel,kind of peaceful.
对我来说就是这样的 It does me.
我们在一起直到一切终结 You and me together,until it's all over.
你不能这么说 You mustn't talk like that.
你还是不明白 You don't get it.
我可能不是最好的 I may not be the best.
我是说 我可能并不是那个,能和你终此一生的最佳人选 I mean, I may not be the finest,guy to end your days with,
但是 Felicia... but look, Felicia...
你疯了 You are insane.
你疯了! You're insane!
不不不 你不明白 No, no. No, you don't understand.
不 不! No, no!
救命啊 救命啊! Help, help!
- 救命啊!,- 发生了什么事? Help!,What's going on here?
把他赶出去 他疯了 Get him out of here. He's insane.
她不明白 She doesn't understand.
世界将在11:45终结 The world's coming,to an end at 11:45.
我知道你这种人 这位好心的女士也知道 I know your kind. And such a nice lady, too!
别担心 太太 我去叫警察 Don't worry, ma'am, I'll call the cops.
你过来 Come along, you...
嘿 Hey!
对不起 I'm sorry.
喂 接线员 请接警察局 Hello, Operator?,Police, please.
我做的事没有一件是对的 Nothing I do is right.
一个人想在此生的最后一晚,做点像样的事 A guy tries to do decent,the last night of his life...
却事事不顺 不顺 Nothing goes right. Nothing.
- 怎么啦 先生 ,- 你是病了还是怎么的? What's the matter, mister?,You sick or something?
你们好 孩子们 Hello, kids.
不 没事 我很好 No, no. I'm okay.
这么晚了你们在这小巷子里干什么? What are you doing in this,alley so late at night?
你们应该和家人一起呆在家里 You ought to be home,with your folks.
当然 现在你们应该和家人在一起 Sure, right now you ought,to be with your family.
别开玩笑了 先生 我们没有家 That's a joke, mister. We ain't got no family.
我们无依无靠 We ain't got nobody.
11点了 11:00.
不到一小时了 Less than an hour.
怎么啦 先生 What's the matter, mister?
你是最小的? You're,the youngest?
是的 我8岁 Yeah, I'm eight.
8岁 Eight.
我8岁的时候 I had a dirty face,and a cowlick
也是蓬头垢面的 when I was eight, too.
哎呀 Gee.
你们这些孩子最喜欢什么? What would you kids like more,than anything in the world?
说说看 Name it.
一支枪 一支猎枪 A rifle, a hunting rifle.
一个篮球 A basketball.
先生 你不知道我多想要个篮球啊! Gee, mister, if you knew,how I want a basketball!
还有你 孩子 你想要什么? And you, son?,What about you?
我? Me?
嗯 你喜欢什么? Yeah, what would you like?
我不知道 I don't know.
也许是一根球棒 一只手套和一个棒球? Maybe a baseball bat,and a glove and a ball?
又或者是一辆自行车 Or maybe a bicycle,
我在你这年纪的时候就想要这些 like I wanted,when I was your age.
来吧 孩子们 你们都将得到你们想要的东西 Come on, kids. You're all,gonna get whatever you want!
- 来吧!,- 什么? Come on!,What?
你在开玩笑吧 You're kidding.
不 我不开玩笑 我说话算话 No, I'm not kidding. I mean it.
哇 太棒了! Gee whiz!
过来拿 孩子们 过来拿 Come and get 'em, kids. Come and get 'em!
哪一只? 哪一只? Which one?,Which one?
天啊 我不知道 先生 它们都很棒 Gee, I don't know, mister. They're all so swell.
那都拿走 都拿走 Take 'em all. Take 'em all.
呯! 呯! 呯! Bang! Bang! Bang!
呯! 呯! 呯! 呯! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
你高兴吗? 孩子 高兴吗? You happy, kid?,Happy?
当然了 Gee, sure!
过来! Come on!
哇 一台无线电! Boy, a radio!
过来 试试这个 孩子 试试 Come on!,Here, try it, kid. Try it.
很好 Good.
3分 5分... Three, five...
靶心! Bull's eye!
太棒了! Great!
再来一把 Let's try it again.
太棒了! Great!
让我骑 让我骑 Let me ride!,Let me ride.
让我骑 Let me ride.
太妙了 是不是? 孩子们 太妙了 It's wonderful, ain't it, kids? Wonderful.
你看 先生 你看 Look, mister, look!
嘿 先生 你看 Hey, mister, look!
天哪 这太漂亮了 Gee, this is a beauty.
是自动的 不过没有装弹 It's an automatic. But it ain't loaded.
这简单 装弹 That's easy. Let's load it.
嘿 看 Hey, look!
你们都别动 No, you don't.
- 别伤害我 先生 别伤害我!,- 别动! Don't hurt me, mister, don't hurt me! Don't move!
没必要伤害孩子 This ain't no time,to go hurting a kid.
放开他 听到没有? 放开他 Leave him alone, you,hear me? Leave him alone!
就呆在那 等警察来 Just stay where you are,till the cops come.
世界末日就要来临了,你得让孩子们玩得尽兴 The world coming to an end, you,keeping kids from being happy.
他们刚刚开心了一会 你就要打断他们 They only got a few minutes,and you take it away from them.
你放开那孩子 听到没有? 放开那孩子 You let that kid go, do you,hear me? You let that kid go!
别过来 Don't come near me.
别 别 别 Don't. Don't. Don't.
嘿 赶紧闪人 Hey, let's beat it.
嗯 Yeah.
Naughton同意接受提名
拳击委员会涉嫌行贿
Crooner因伤人锒铛入狱
最新的在哪里? Where's,the latest one?
你说什么 伙计? What do you mean, bud?
真正的头条新闻 The real headline.
关于世界末日来临的那条 The one about,the world coming to an end.
你疯了还是怎么的? You screwy,or something?
别愚弄我 Stop fooling me.
没时间了 我亲眼在报纸上看到的 There ain't no time. I saw it right in the paper.
看 在你面前总共就三份报纸 Look, you got,all three newspapers
这上面登着所有的最新消息 right in front of you,with all the latest news.
现在你想买那一份? Now which one,you gonna buy?
什么牌?(What's wild是一种纸牌游戏) What's wild?
独眼龙(纸牌游戏术语) One-eyed jacks.
发牌 Cards.
我不跟了 I'm out.
去掉最上面一张 好牌 I'll take one off the top. Good one.
再来一轮么 Halloran先生 Another round, Mr. Halloran?
是的 Nick 打电话给汉堡店 Yeah, Nick, and listen, call up the hamburger joint
订一些三明治 and order,a load of sandwiches.
好的 Halloran先生 Okay, Mr. Halloran.
该你押了 Your bet.
Halloran先生 Mr. Halloran.
咳 你看 Johnny 那只是一个玩笑 Why, look, Johnny, it was only a joke.
但是每个玩笑都是有代价的 Halloran先生 But every joke's gotta have,a payoff, Mr. Halloran.
这个也不例外 This joke's gotta,have a payoff, too.
好了 这本不该发生在好人身上 Well, it couldn't have,happened to a nicer fellow.
不幸的是 Unfortunately,
Johnny Gin受到了法律的制裁 justice had to be,meted out to Johnny Gin.
不过 今晚到此为止了 However, that is all,for this evening.
下次我们会带来另一个故事 I hope,you'll join us next time
希望你们还会加入 when we shall return,with another story.
我们也希望这个小装置的故障已经排除了 We also hope to have the bugs,out of this little device.
晚安 Good night.