克勞索 Clouseau.
想當年…我第一次聽到這個名字 Yes, well, the first time I ever heard that name...
克勞索還只是個無名小卒 ...Clouseau was just a little nobody.
一個在巴黎遠郊執勤的巡警 A police officer in some little village far outside of Paris.
據我所知，他是小鎮的活寶 He was the village idiot as far as I could tell.
蠢貨，往前停！ Idiot, pull up.
杜蒙特先生 有勞您馬上挪開您的“坐騎” Monsieur Dumont, you must move your vehicle immediately.
很抱歉，克勞索警官 I am so sorry, Officer Clouseau.
我的輪椅…它動不了 My chair, it won't move.
啊…問題在這裡 Here's your problem.
你的電源線沒有接好 Your battery cable has come undone. Let me help.
讓我看看…正極接到負 Let's see. The positive to the negative.
負極接到正，搞定 The negative to the positive. There.
好了，你可以開動了 All right, you are ready to go.
清理完畢，大家動起來吧 All clear, keep it moving.
作為國家警署的總探長 As chief inspector of the Police Nationale...
對於那些“員警趣事”，多有耳聞 ...I hear many stories of our officers in the field.
其中很多故事 Clouseau generated many...
還得歸功於克勞索的“貢獻” ...many stories.
你因為涉嫌謀殺皮埃爾·福蓋而被捕了！ You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
皮埃爾·福蓋？ Pierre Fuquet?
結案！ The case is closed.
不用說… Needless to say...
…克勞索是徹底沒救了 ...Clouseau did not qualify for any advancement whatsoever.
我從沒想到他能派上什麼用場 I never thought for a moment I would have any use for him...
…直到那個命中註定的日子 ...until that fateful day.
那是一個製造謀殺案的好日子 It was a perfect day for a murder.
法國對中國，獲勝者晉級決賽 France against China, with the winner advancing to the finals.
我作為國家警署的總探長 應邀前去觀看 I had been invited, as chief inspector of the Police Nationale.
同時也因為我剛被提名“榮譽勳章” And because of my recent nomination for the Medal of Honor.
我已經獲得過7次提名 I have been nominated seven times.
卻從沒獲獎 I have never won.
不過…7次提名 But still, seven nominations...
也是很了不得的 ...that's something.
話說回來，當伊弗斯·格盧昂特 法國隊主教練 Anyway, the coach of the French team, Yves Gluant...
來到場中，像往常一樣 向歡呼的群眾致意 ...came out for his customary ovation.
他高高舉起拳頭 He raised his fist to the crowd.
上面戴著… On it:
粉紅豹鑽石 The Pink Panther diamond.
它是法國隊榮耀和勝利的象徵 It was quite the symbol of pride and victory for the French team.
格盧昂特那時的女朋友 Gluant's girlfriend at that time...
是國際歌星仙妮婭 ...was Xania, the international pop star.
他們的愛情可謂“風雨不斷” They had been having quite a stormy affair.
90分鐘以後，雙方踢成平局 By the end of regulation time the score was tied...
比賽又拖進了加時賽 ...and the game went into sudden death.
身為一個愛國的法國公民 以及一個鐵杆球迷… For a patriotic Frenchman and a true fan like myself...
實在無法接受這樣的結果 ...it was almost too thrilling to believe.
就在那個時候… And then...
…奇跡發生了 ...the miracle.
好球！ Yes! Yeah!
就在那個時候 面對人頭攢動的足球場 And then, in front of a stadium filled with people...
格盧昂特…竟突然倒地 ...Gluant collapsed...
…死了 ...dead.
一隻毒鏢紮進他的脖子 A poison dart in his neck.
而那個粉紅豹鑽戒… And the Pink Panther diamond...
…不見了 ...had disappeared.
片名：粉紅豹 The Pink Panther
關於格盧昂特的死 大小報紙一片悲慟之聲 The newspapers fed on Gluant's murder with a frenzy.
對他們來說，整個世界都停滯了 For them, the world had stopped.
對我來說… For me...
卻是一個絕佳的表現機會 ...it was an opportunity for my greatest triumph.
我知道辦這個案子的絕佳人選 I know what we need for the Gluant case.
- 什麼？ - 一個低級警官 - What? - An incompetent.
…一個刻板、循規蹈矩的低能兒 An unimaginative, by-the-book, low-level incompetent...
…只曉得原地打轉 ...who will plod along, getting nowhere...
…任媒體跟著他跑 ...with the media watching his every step.
他在那裡原地打轉的時候 And while he is getting nowhere...
我會安排全法國 最精良的刑偵小隊 ...I will put together the finest team of investigators in France...
擒獲歹徒，追回粉紅豹鑽石 ...and we will hunt down the killer, retrieve the Pink Panther diamond...
榮譽勳章自然就非我莫屬了 ...and then the Medal of Honor will be mine.
到哪兒去找這樣的低能兒？ And who is this incompetent?
我已有完美人選 Oh, I think I know the perfect man for the job.
把他帶到巴黎來 Find him and bring him to Paris.
他的名字叫克勞索 His name is Clouseau.
早安，小姐 Good morning, mademoiselle.
我馬上就下來 I'll be right with you.
大法官為自己換了幅新照片… The minister of justice sent around a new picture of himself...
但那照片比總探長的要大 ...but it was bigger than Chief Inspector Dreyfus' picture.
總探長於是換了幅更大的 So the chief inspector had a larger one made.
巴黎就是這麼個勾心鬥角的地方 You'll find that Paris can be a very political place.
啊…政治，不過是給貪婪戴上了道德的面具 Yes, politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality.
說得好，這話是你說的？ That's good. Did you say that?
是的 Yes, I did.
- 您能扶我下來嗎？ - 噢，當然可以 - Could you help me down? - Oh, yes, of course.
哦…這樣…要不…？ Oh, yes. Here, just... Perhaps...
- 好的，我… - 好了 - Yes, l... - All right.
- 稍等 - 好的 - Wait. - Yeah.
別跳，很好… Don't jump. Yes, that's good. All right.
您能不能把腿放上來… I think if you put your leg right there...
- 好的 - 很好 - Okay. - Yes. Okay.
好了 Yes.
- 我什麼都看不見了 - 要不到那邊去？ - I can't see anything. - Maybe over here?
- 好的 - 好的 - Yes, okay. - Okay.
這裡 Over here.
總探長現在要見你 The inspector will see you now.
他馬上就過去 He'll be right with you.
克勞索… Clouseau.
- 克勞索… - 他進來了 - Clouseau. - He's coming in.
好的 Good.
雅克·克勞索，三級警官 Officer Jacques Clouseau, gendarme, third class.
- 一定很痛吧 - 不…一點也不 - That had to hurt. - No. No, not at all. No.
克勞索，叫你來是為了… Clouseau, the reason we called you here...
今天天氣真不錯… It is lovely weather we are having.
真希望一直都是好天氣 I hope the weather continues.
現在安全了 The area is secure.
哦，非常感謝 Oh, thank you.
克勞索，我看過你的履歷了 很明顯… Clouseau, I have reviewed your records, and it is clear to me...
以你的能力完全可以勝任… ...that a man of your talent merits greater responsibility...
…更高的職位 ...than you have had up to this point.
我決定提升你為探長 I have decided to promote you to inspector...
國家最高級別的警官 ...the highest rank of any officer in the republic.
- 探長？ - 是的 - Inspector? - Exactly.
你的第一個案子 就是格盧昂特的謀殺案 And your first case is the Gluant murder...
以及粉紅豹鑽石失竊案 ...and theft of the Pink Panther diamond.
- 榮幸之至 - 很好 - I am honored. - Good.
雅克·克勞索 借由法律賦予我的權力 Jacques Clouseau, by the power vested in me...
我現在任命你為探長… ...I hereby appoint you full inspector...
擁有以下權力… ...with all of the...
好了，有勞您在這兒簽個字 Here, if you would be so kind, please.
噢，這是我的筆 Oh, here, take my pen.
謝謝 Thank you.
這樣的傳統法式自來水筆並不常見 One does not often see the traditional French fountain pen.
我會永遠珍藏的 （他誤以為總探長送他鋼筆） I will cherish this forever.
不…不是要送給你 No. It is not a gift.
這是巴黎市市長送我的 That was given to me by the mayor of Paris.
這太貴重了… Well, then...
我不能接受 ...I cannot accept this.
新聞發佈會要開始了 The press conference.
好了，克勞索 等會兒有個新聞發佈會 Yes. Clouseau, there is a press conference...
幾分鐘以後 在走廊的那頭舉行 ...in just a few minutes down the hall...
…把你介紹給媒體 ...to introduce you to the media.
我們等會兒見了 呃…克勞索？ We'll meet you there. And, Clouseau?
是 Yes?
祝你好運 Good luck.
你也一樣 Good luck to you.
新聞發佈會在哪裡？ And where is the press conference?
穿過拱廊… Go under the arch...
從右邊的門出去，沿著走廊走 ...through the door on the right and down the hall.
恩… Well...
現場仍然安全！ The area is still secure.
多謝 Thank you.
他太“完美”了！ He's perfect.
好了，我們已經找到最佳人選 Yes, we have definitely found our man.
我怎麼感覺濕濕的？ Why do I feel wet?
鑒於案件的特殊性質… Because of the unique nature of the crime...
我們指派了一個最佳人選 ...we have brought in a man specially suited to the case:
探長雅克·克勞索 Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
探長 Inspector.
- 請說 - 您的初步推斷是什麼？ - Yes? - Yes, what's your initial premise?
格盧昂特是他殺 That Gluant did not want to be killed.
後面的推理就像順藤摸… Everything else follows like liquid mercury...
摸…摸… ...flowing down a... A...
順藤摸…東西 A sloping thing.
您多久能抓到兇手？ How long do you think it will take to find the killer?
借由法醫鑒定和推理 以及最新科技的幫助… Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction...
諸如雙向無線電通訊和電子郵件 ...forensic science and the latest in technology...
我們已經將歹徒重重包圍 ...such as two-way radios and e-mail.
安排一個員警當他的司機 彙報他的所有行蹤 Assign a man to be his driver who can report on his whereabouts at all times.
什麼樣的員警？ What kind of man?
只服從命令，從不懷疑的人 A man who follows orders and doesn't ask questions.
探長，您認為兇手是男性還是女性？ Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or a woman?
不是男的就是女的，難道還會是只貓？ Well, of course I know that. What else is there? A kitten?
您認為有沒有可能… Excuse me, do you think it's possible...
兇手現在正監視著你？ ...that the killer could be watching you now?
換作我是兇手，很可能正在暗中監視 Well, if I was a killer, I would certainly be watching...
…說不定還錄了像留作紀念… ...and possibly taping for later playback...
你要知道… 能上電視可是了不起的事情 ...because, you know, it's a big deal to be talked about on TV.
不過我有話要對兇手說 But I have a message for the killer:
天網恢恢… There is no place you can hide.
疏而不漏 There is no place you cannot be seen.
作為國家的公僕 Killer, I will find you...
我定會將你捉拿歸案 ...because I am a servant of the nation.
還正義以本色 Because justice is justice...
還法國以本色！ ...and because France is France.
- 你好啊，尼可 - 早上好，探長先生 - Bonjour, Nicole. - Good morning, inspector.
歡迎來到你的新辦公室 Welcome to your new office.
你可能需要從這些檔案開始… You should probably start by going through these files.
今天天氣真不錯… It is lovely weather we are having.
真希望好天氣… I hope the weather...
…能持續下去 ...stays this mild.
要是天天都能這樣… If the weather continues...
…那將是多麼美好的一個夏天啊 ...we are in for a lovely summer.
我們安全了 The area is secure.
- 你沒事吧？ - 當然沒事 - Are you all right? - Well, of course I'm all right.
看，那是什麼？ And what is that?
- 哪裡？ - 沒什麼 - What? - Nothing.
你可能需要從這些檔案開始… You should probably start by looking at these files. You have to...
我的腿！撞到我的腿啦！ My leg, it crushed my leg!
作為探長，你需要一些新衣服 Being an inspector, you'll need some new clothes.
我來給你量量尺寸，稍後就把衣服送來 I can take your measurements and have something sent over.
- 好的 - 請脫下外套 - Of course. - Please remove your jacket.
好的 Yes.
- 你一個人住嗎，探長先生？ - 是的 - Do you live by yourself, inspector? - Yes, I do.
你覺得孤獨嗎？ Do you get lonely?
自從有了互聯網，就好多了 No, not really. Not since the Internet.
那玩意兒的確挺有用的… 歡迎來到巴黎！ Well, that takes care of that. And welcome to Paris.
謝謝你 Thank you.
早上好，先生 Good morning, monsieur.
你是？ And you are?
吉伯特·龐頓，二級偵探 Gilbert Ponton. Detective, second class.
我被派來協助你工作 I've been assigned to work with you.
你有何資格，能從事員警工作？ What qualifications do you have for police work?
我們家族9代人 都在巴黎從事員警工作 My family's done police work in Paris for nine generations.
- 再往前呢？ - 在郊區從事員警工作長達200年 - And before that? - We were policemen in the surrounding areas for 200 years.
- 再往前呢？ - 從歐洲各國來的移民… - And before that? - Immigrants from various countries in Europe.
- 全部從事員警相關工作 - 再往前呢？ - All involved in police work. - And before that?
農民 Farmers.
這麼說來，在我克勞索這兒 你還有很多東西需要學習 So you are a little lamb who has come to Clouseau for to learn.
吉伯特·龐頓，我保證 會把我從警的經驗，統統傳授與你 Gilbert Ponton, I vow to teach you everything I know about police work.
我們倆一起… And together...
要去緝拿一個兇手！ ...we are going to catch a killer.
這裡 There.
中國的貴賓席，就在案發現場的旁邊 The Chinese VIP box, right on the edge of the kill zone.
而毒藥經鑒定，來自中國 格盧昂特去過中國嗎？ The poison was Chinese. Was Gluant ever in China?
3年前，他曾帶領法國明星隊… Three years ago, he took a group of French stars there...
去中國打過邀請賽 ...for some exhibition games.
格盧昂特去過中國… Gluant was in China...
而毒藥來自中國… ...the poison is from China...
…中國人也來自中國 ...the Chinese are from China.
現在下定論也許為時尚早 不過我認為兇手是中國人 It may be too early to say for certain, but I think our killer is Chinese.
科貝，你搭最近的航班去北京 Corbeille, I want you on the next flight to Beijing.
查出格盧昂特做過什麼事 見過什麼人，去過什麼地方 Find out what Gluant did there, who he saw, where he went.
帕科特，我要一份中國貴賓席的名單 Pacquette, I want a dossier on every Chinaman in that box.
現在就行動 Go, go, go, go, go.
探長先生，已經很晚了… Inspector, it's awfully late and...
噢，我正在檢查命案現場的照片 Oh, I'm just going over these crime-scene photos.
- 你不休息嗎？ - 尼可，犯罪可從不休息 - Don't you need some rest? - Crime does not rest, Nicole.
這倒是 It's true.
你看… You see...
…為了證明自己，我等了很長時間 ...I have waited a long time to prove myself.
現在有這個千載難逢的好機會 And I've been given the opportunity of a lifetime.
我將向全世界… And I intend to show the world exactly who I am...
…展現我的實力 決不能失敗 ...and what I can do. I must not fail.
你不會失敗的 You won't. I know it.
謝謝你，尼可 Thank you, Nicole.
- 尼可？ - 什麼？ - Nicole? - Yes?
我能說句實話嗎？ May I be very frank with you?
當然 Of course.
你最近胖了不少 You have put on a ton of weight.
每次長胖的時候，我就… Now, what I do when I get a little heavy...
當我沒說 Never mind.
你需要我留下來幫你麼？ Would you like me to stay behind and help you?
尼可，你的好意我心領了 That is a generous offer, Nicole...
…不過我對辦公室的男女關係很敏感 ...but I am quite sensitive to office gender politics.
當今世界，哪怕是一個手勢 And in today's world, the slightest gesture...
也會被曲解成性侵犯 ...can be misinterpreted as harassment.
現在很晚了，我不想讓我倆… And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me...
…陷入那樣的尷尬中 ...into that delicate situation.
你說呢？ Agreed?
我明白 Yes, I agree.
好了，讓我們就親個嘴 然後我繼續工作 Well, let's seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.
恕我直言 I am going to be frank.
作為一個二級偵探… Since you are only a detective, second class...
你的反應也許不如我快 ...your senses may not be as sharp as my own.
而我又不想被搭檔拖後腿 And as I do not want a partner who makes me duller...
我有個計畫，提高你的警惕性 ...I have come up with a plan to keep you as sharp as possible.
什麼計畫？ And what is that?
隨時隨地，只要你不注意的時候 Intermittently, and without warning, I will attack you...
我會不定時、沒有預警地攻擊你 ...whenever and wherever it is least expected.
這樣來保持你的警惕，如何？ In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert. Agreed?
好的 Yes.
- 好身手 - 過獎了 - Good one. - Thank you.
就是這兒了 Here we are.
“燈閃爍時請勿打擾” "Do not open door when light is flashing."
借過 Excuse me.
借過，謝謝 Coming through. Thank you.
我想瞭解一下…是的 And I'm wondering if you... Yes.
請問你是不是看見過有人大叫… I'm wondering if you saw, perhaps, a person yelling.
停！停！停！ Stop! Stop, stop!
你是誰？來這兒搗什麼亂？ Who are you, and what the hell are you doing?
- 我正在進行審問 - 錄音間是閉音的 - I'm in the middle of an interrogation. - First, the booth is soundproof.
她根本聽不見你說話 順便提醒一句… She can't hear a word. And in case you haven't noticed...
你干擾了我錄音，現在給我滾出去！ ...you ruined my recording session. Now, get out.
要是不想因阻礙執法被起訴… Unless you want to be charged with obstruction of justice...
就乖乖地讓我問完仙妮婭 ...you will let me interrogate Xania.
沒事，羅蘭 你好，探長先生 It's all right, Roland. Hello, inspector.
我是仙妮婭 I'm Xania.
你也許不知道 對你這行我其實挺熟悉的 You do not know this, but I am intimately familiar with your work.
您真客氣 You are very kind.
你說那錄音間是閉音的？ Did you say that booth was soundproof?
是的 Yes.
呃…格盧昂特死的時候 你是否在現場？ Now, you were nearby when Gluant was killed?
是的，我們隊獲勝 我就跑去他身邊 Yes, I ran out to be with him after the team won.
的確如此 Of course you did.
不過，就在謀殺發生幾小時前 Now, a few hours before the murder...
有6個目擊者稱 看見你攻擊死者，並大喊大叫 ...six witnesses saw you repeatedly striking the deceased and screaming...
怎樣叫的，龐頓？ What was it, Ponton?
“我要殺了你，我要殺了你” "I am going to kill you. I am going to kill you."
我當時很生氣 因為抓到他和別的女人在一起 I was angry. I caught him with another woman.
而且是在他說愛我以後 And this was after he said he loved me.
你這個可憐的天使… You poor little angel waif.
他騙了我… After he cheated on me...
…我才會恨他 ...I hated him.
- 不過我沒有殺他 - 你當然沒有 - But I didn't kill him. - Of course you didn't.
- 你最近曾到中國演出… - 別再嚇唬她了！ - You recently performed in China... - Stop browbeating her!
沒看見她這麼性感嗎？ Can't you see she's sexy?
是3個月前在上海 Three months ago in Shanghai.
你知不知道，還有誰和格盧昂特有仇？ Can you think of anyone else who might have hated Gluant?
- 畢祖 - 那個球星？ - Bizu. - The football star?
我在遇到格盧昂特前 和畢祖在一起 I was dating Bizu when I met Gluant.
他認為格盧昂特不懷好意 偷走了我的心 He thought Gluant was a bad guy for stealing me away.
- 要我說，其實他們兩個… - 你！不許離開這裡 - Lf you ask me, they were both... - You, don't leave town.
可我得去蒙特拉特島 給雷·杜沙錄音… But I'm flying to Montserrat to record Rene Duchanel...
你哪也不去，我有問題要問你 You will not leave town. I may want to ask you a few more questions.
可我什麼都不知道啊 But I don't know anything.
對於生命和愛情，你是一無所知 你這個小滑頭 About life, about love. Yes, you little wet puppy.
不過關於這個案子 你能告訴我很多東西 But about the crime you may know a lot.
探長 Inspector.
我也得待在城裡嗎？ Do I have to stay in town?
因為下周，我… Because next week I have something...
得去紐約辦點事 ...vague to do in New York.
哦…你當然可以辦事 Well, if you absolutely have to do something vague...
不用客氣，請自便 ...feel free to go where you wish.
我找不到畢祖 不過能帶你去見范科爾先生 I can't take you to Bizu, but I can take you to Monsieur Vainqueur...
助理教練 ...the team's assistant coach.
現在該叫主教練了 Well, I guess he's the head coach now.
- 你要見我？ - 你是範科爾？ - You wanted to see me? - You are Vainqueur?
是的，你是？ Yes. And who are you?
克勞索探長，你也許聽過我大名 I am Inspector Clouseau. Perhaps you have heard of me.
沒有 No.
這個不用記 Don't write that down.
- 你要做什麼？ - 聽說畢祖和格盧昂特有過節？ - What do you want? - I am told that Bizu hated Gluant.
很多人和格盧昂特都有過節 A lot of people hated Gluant.
你呢？ Did you?
整整6年，我每天都得忍受 他的無理謾? I spent six years under his thumb being verbally abused every day.
是的，我不喜歡格盧昂特 Yes, I was not a fan of Yves Gluant.
現在他死了… And now he is dead...
而你卻取代了他的位置 ...and you have his job.
真諷刺啊 Ironic.
死亡並不都是悲劇 Not every death is a tragedy.
- 那… - 噓…腳步聲 - And what was the...? - Footsteps.
一個年輕女子… It's a young woman...
…30到35歲之間… ...30 to 35 years old...
…5尺2到5尺4高，淺黑色皮膚 ...5'2", 5'4", brunette.
穿著高跟鞋 And she is wearing high heels.
穿著稍顯正式了點 Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon.
還噴了… And she has on...
Chanel N'5 （著名香水） ...Chanel N
- 有人跟你一起？ - 沒有 - Is anyone with you? - No.
你在包裡藏了一雙高跟鞋？ Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?
- 沒有 - 一雙小舞鞋都沒有？ - No. - Not even a small pair of pumps?
- 沒有 - 你是誰？ - No. - Who are you?
尤裡，陪練 I am Yuri, the trainer.
尤裡·培連先生，你在這裡做什麼 （克勞索聽成了“培連”，以為是人名） And what is it you do here, Yuri the trainer?
陪練 I train.
這麼說你就是搞陪練的 尤裡·培連？ So you are Yuri the trainer who trains.
不許離開歐洲！ Do not leave Europe.
可我得去亞洲 But I have to go to Asia.
好吧 Okay.
不許離開歐洲或亞洲！ Do not leave Europe or Asia.
可我們要到巴西踢場球 We have one match in Brazil.
好吧 All right.
不許離開歐洲、亞洲或者美洲！ Do not leave Europe, Asia or the Americas.
- 好吧 - 我們的球星在哪裡？ - Okay. - Where is this famous soccer player?
他在外面訓練場 He is outside on the practice field.
好的，我們要見見畢祖先生 Well, we shall see about Mr. Bizu.
我把畢祖帶進審訊室了 I've got Bizu in the interrogation room.
有什麼計畫？ What's the plan?
軟硬兼施 I'm going to give him the good-cop/bad-cop routine.
你是球員畢祖？ You are the soccer player known as Bizu?
- 是的 - 你知道格盧昂特的事？ - Yes. - You were acquainted with Gluant?
- 我很高興他回老家了 - 他沒有回老家 - I'm glad he's pushing up daisies. - He is not pushing up daisies.
他死了 He is dead.
這不過是俗話 It's an idiom.
你這個俗人！ You, sir, are the idiom.
要是不想在監獄裡度過餘生… Now, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison...
就乖乖回答這個問題： 你有沒有殺人？ ...you will answer the next question. Did you kill him?
我很想殺了他 I would have loved to have killed him.
可惜有人運氣好，先下了手 But some lucky bastard beat me to it.
你讓我感到噁心 You disgust me.
我馬上就回來 I'll be right back.
香煙？ Cigarette?
不用 No.
謝謝 Thanks.
好習慣 Good for you.
畢祖… Bizu...
我知道你沒有殺人 ...I know you didn't do it.
是別人做的，然後陷害你 Someone else did, and they are trying to set you up.
你會幫我嗎？ You'll help me?
當然會 Of course I'll help you.
那你認為是誰下的毒手？ Now, do you have any idea who might have done this terrible thing?
和他合夥開飯店的，拉洛克 His partner in those stupid restaurants, Larocque.
賭場老闆，雷蒙德·拉洛克 Raymond Larocque, the casino owner.
格盧昂特可能從飯店私自提錢去賭博 Gluant would steal money from the restaurants and use it to gamble.
拉洛克受夠了… My guess is Larocque got fed up...
就把他做掉了 ...and had him killed.
畢祖，我欣賞你 Bizu, I like you.
我會幫你的 I'm going to help you.
我們一定會合作愉快的 You and I are going to make a great team.
我的“軟硬兼施大法”頗有成效 The good-coplbad-cop routine is working perfectly.
這個…好像一般是兩個人審問 You know, usually two different cops do that.
知不知道我們怎麼對付 不聽話的囚犯？ You know what we do to prisoners who don't cooperate?
我們會把他們接上這個盒子 We hook them up to the box.
這盒子做什麼的？ What is the box?
蠢貨！就像這樣，把這頭… Idiot. Like this, I take one electrode...
…接到這裡 ...I put it here.
把這頭… I take the other one...
…接到這裡… ...I put it...
你有何高見？ So, what do you think?
畢祖是無辜的 Bizu is innocent.
何以見得？ How can you say that?
格盧昂特讓畢祖坐冷板凳 還搶了他女朋友 Gluant suspended Bizu. He stole his girlfriend.
換作是我，也會趁機殺掉他 If it were me, I would have killed him then and there.
而畢祖正是這樣做的 That's exactly what Bizu did.
龐頓… Ponton...
…破案就像開鎖遊戲 ...a crime is like a jigsaw puzzle.
你有了鑰匙，還得找到鎖 You have to have the jig and you have to have the saw.
現在你有了鑰匙 卻沒有鎖 You have the jig, but no saw.
你的鎖哪去了？ Where is your saw?
哦，尊敬的首長 我破案了，就憑著把沒用的鑰匙 "Oh, Your Honor, I want to present a case, but all I have is a jig.
這樣就可以了？ Is that okay?"
你說什麼？ What?
沒說什麼 Nothing.
我以為你說… I thought you said:
沒有 No.
奇怪 Strange.
噢，是你 Oh, it's you.
希望你不介意 我用備用鑰匙進來了 I hope you don't mind I let myself in with the spare key.
- 哦，不介意 - 你看 - Oh, no, no. - And, look.
我從裁縫那兒 給你把褲子取回來了 I got your pants back from the tailor.
- 還有一條備用的 - 很好 - Plus a spare. - Good.
- 喝水麼？ - 謝謝 - Would you like some water? - Yes, please.
尼可，辦這個案子 可讓我使盡了渾身解數 You know, Nicole, this crime is forcing me to use all my knowledge.
我這輩子的辦案經驗都用上了 Everything I have learned in a lifetime of investigating is coming into play.
介意我吃這個嗎？ 我還沒吃飯呢 Do you mind if I have these? I haven't eaten.
不必客氣，請便 Oh, please, go ahead.
甚至很多都是從沒意識到的東西 Things are appearing in my mind that I did not even realize was there.
而且… And yet the in...
噢，海氏急救法！ （海姆尼克急救法，對付異物卡喉用） Oh, my God. The Heimlich! The Heimlich!
感覺好些了？ Are you feeling better?
是的，太感謝了 你真是個行家 Yes, thank you. You are so good at it.
在哪學的這招？ Where did you learn that?
我曾在人體模特、枕頭上反復練習 I used to practice on mannequins, pillows...
不過坦白說，是你臉上的表情… ...but frankly, it was the expression on your face...
告訴我你需要這個 ...that told me that you needed it.
龐頓，有什麼事嗎？ Now, Ponton, what do you have for me?
看來你沒錯，剛發現畢祖遇害了 It seems you were right about Bizu. He was just found dead...
死在更衣室裡 ...in the training facility locker room.
- 頭部中槍 - 致命嗎？ - Shot in the head. - Was it fatal?
- 是的 - 有多致命？ - Yes. - How fatal?
完全致命 Completely.
我要馬上找他談談 I want to talk to him now.
他已經死了 He's dead.
你，站住 You there. Halt.
你是搞陪練的 尤裡·培連 You are Yuri the trainer who trains.
對，是我 Yeah, that's right.
我在找一具屍體 你知不知道在什麼地方？ I am looking for a dead body. Perhaps you can tell me where it is.
是的，聽說是在更衣室 Oh, yeah. I heard it was in the locker room.
走廊走到頭，右拐 然後左拐兩次就到了 You go down the hall, make a right and two lefts.
很可笑嗎？ You are finding something amusing here?
說實話… I'll be honest with you. L...
我覺得你的口音很滑稽 I find your accent quite funny.
- 你是哪兒人？ - 俄國人 - Where are you from? - From Russia.
格盧昂特從俄羅斯軍營 的球隊裡把我招進來 Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.
你得改改你那口音了 You need to work on your accent.
- 什麼？ - 什麼？ - What? - What?
- 什麼什麼？ - 什麼 - What? What? - What?
- 什麼？ - 我沒心思跟你玩這個 - What? - I don't have time for this.
還有樁謀殺案等著我 I have to solve a murder.
有勞你，告訴我事情的經過 Please, tell me what you saw.
我什麼都沒看見 Well, I didn't see anything.
當時我只是經過更衣室 I was passing by the locker room.
很晚了，一般不會有人在那兒 It was late, past time anyone should be there.
我聽到裡面門有動靜 I heard movement on the other side of the locker-room door.
聽到畢祖說… I heard Bizu say:
“噢，是你” "Oh, it's you."
然後就是一聲槍響… And then there was gunfire.
龐頓，搜索資料庫 Ponton, go to your databases.
我要審問巴黎所有名字中有“你”的人 I want to interrogate every person in Paris with the name "You."
還有… And, Ponton...
你難道不覺蹊蹺嗎？ ...don't you find it a bit of a coincidence...
屍體剛好倒在這個白線內 ...that the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?
我想那線是他們事後畫的 I think they drew the chalk outline later.
看來我們正在和一個高手打交道 We are dealing with some kind of mastermind.
龐頓，我要訊問雷蒙德·拉洛克 Ponton, I want to interrogate this man Raymond Larocque.
他的賭場在哪？ Where is his casino?
就近停車，不然有你好看的 Park it close by. Unless you want to know what else is good for you.
你總能給我驚喜，探長 You continue to surprise me, inspector.
學著習慣吧，龐頓 跟我混，就得同驚喜打交道 Get used to it, Ponton. With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.
今天天氣不錯，但願天天如此 Yes, the weather is nice today. Let's hope it continues.
龐頓，去找保安 Ponton, go find security.
說我要同雷蒙德·拉洛克談談 Tell them I want to converse with Mr. Raymond Larocque.
- 你不去？ - 有特殊情況 - You're not coming? - Something has come up.
要是天氣能一直這樣就好了 If the weather stays this mild, we are all in for a treat.
- 請下注 - 我也為國家效力 - Place your bets. - I am in law enforcement too.
我這麼顯眼嗎？ Am I that obvious?
不，只是我極善於發現這個 No, it's just that I have an ear for such things.
這是你的莫吉托 （也稱古巴雞尾酒） Here is your mojito.
點上 - Flame it. - No more bets.
不錯嘛 Impressive.
我會記住的 I will remember that.
我是探長雅克·克勞索 正在辦個非常重要的案子 I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau. I am here on a very important case.
奈傑爾·博斯韋爾 特工006 Boswell. Nigel Boswell. Agent 006.
- 明白？ - 當然 - Know what that means? - Of course I do.
你只比某著名間諜低一位 （指007） You are one short of the big time.
和你一樣，我也有要事在身 I, too, am on a very important case, inspector.
所以，不能有人知道我在這兒 So you understand what I mean when I say...
我想你明白我的意思 ...no one must know that I am here.
我剛把我的手機號碼 塞進你衣兜裡 I have just slipped my cell-phone number into your pocket.
需要幫忙時就打我手機 Call me if you need any help.
我會的，探長 I will, inspector.
莫?的畫，眼光不錯嘛 拉洛克先生 ...Monet. Very impressive, Monsieur Larocque.
你也一樣，克勞索探長 Very impressive, Inspector Clouseau.
請隨意…有什麼我可以效勞的嗎？ Please make yourself at home. Now, how can I help you?
我在調查伊弗斯·格盧昂特謀殺案 I am investigating the murder of Yves Gluant.
伊弗斯 Yves.
很有魅力的一個人 Fascinating man.
那粉紅豹花了他多少錢？ Would you happen to know what he paid for the Pink Panther?
戒指是繼承的，他一分錢都沒花 He inherited it. It cost him nothing.
可那戒指要了他的命！ It cost him his life.
我想仔細看看你的“丸” （克勞索將“碗”發成了“丸”） I would like to take a closer look at your bowls.
- 我的什麼？ - 你的“丸” - My what? - Your bowls.
我想仔細看看… I would like to take a closer look...
你的大銅“丸” ...at your big brass bowls.
- 好吧 - 謝謝 - Okay. - Thank you.
漢代的文物 Han Dynasty.
- 十分罕見，精美絕倫 - 看來你在古玩方面頗有研究 - Very rare. Beautiful. - I see you have an eye for antiques.
這裡有的是真品，其他的是贗品 Some here are real and some are copies.
相信你一眼就能看出來 I'm sure you can tell which are which.
西元前2世紀的，十分珍貴 Second century. Very rare.
鑒賞古董花瓶，應該從裡面拿起來 One should always handle an antique vase from the inside.
不然手上的油污會破壞花瓶的光澤 Otherwise the oil from the hands can damage the patina.
純雪花石膏 Pure alabaster.
很漂亮 Lovely.
怪了，我就這樣，然後… That's odd. What I did, I went like this, and then...
真奇怪 This is weird.
那你為何給格盧昂特辦了人身保險 Why did you take out a life-insurance policy on Gluant?
沒抓到殺人犯 保險公司是不會賠錢的 The insurance company won't pay unless the murderer is caught.
要是查出來是我… And if it turns out to be me...
更不會賠我錢了，你懂嗎？ ...they won't pay at all. Do you understand?
可你總能撈到油水，是不是？ But you stood to gain from Gluant's death, didn't you?
油水？什麼油水？ Gain? What would I gain?
飯店產業裡格盧昂特的股份 Gluant's share of the restaurants.
那些飯店簡直就是災難 Oh, the restaurants were a disaster.
格盧昂特花錢的速度 比我賺錢還要快 Gluant was siphoning money out faster than it came in.
唯一值得慰藉的是 他都在我的賭場輸錢 My only consolation was he'd lose the money gambling in my casino.
不過後來他輸得越來越多 But after a while his losses became so ridiculous...
他答應用戒指作為擔保 ...he promised me his ring as collateral.
不過有人在格盧昂特 被殺前一晚 But someone had words with Gluant...
找他談過話 ...the night before he was killed.
- 不是你？ - 不是 - Didrt you? - No.
你沒有威脅要打斷他的腿 把他打成肉醬？ You didn't threaten to break his legs and then crush him into powder?
沒有 No.
也許是我在電視上看到的 Perhaps I saw that on TV.
[ 不要將手伸入花瓶，以免卡住 ] BAWARE, EASY TO GET HAND CAUGHT IN VASES
我想這牌子 該放在更合適的地方 Well, I can certainly think of a better place for this.
噢，是我的個性化鈴聲 That's my personalized cell-phone tone ring.
喂？ Hello?
是，我是探長… Yes, this is Inspector...
沒問題，在餐廳？ Yes, I could meet you. In the restaurant?
好的，馬上就到 Yes, of course. Right away.
抱歉各位，恕我失陪 我有要事在身 Gentlemen, something has come up. Please excuse me.
- 拉洛克先生？ - 什麼？ - Monsieur Larocque. - Yes.
這花瓶很值錢嗎？ Is this vase of great value?
不過是個不值錢的仿製品 It is a won'thless imitation.
很好 Good.
可這個桌子… But that desk was...
…是無價之寶 ...priceless.
- 克勞索 - 哦 - Clouseau. - Oh, yes.
我需要你的?明 請保持鎮定… I need your help. Now, it's very important that you remain calm...
- 不要轉身 - 保持鎮定，不要轉身 ...and you do not turn around. - Remain calm. Do not turn around.
在你身後的是“毒氣大盜” Behind you in the casino are the Gas Mask Bandits.
我的天！毒氣大盜！ Oh, my God! The Gas Mask Bandits!
- 全歐洲都在通緝他們 - 我能做什麼？ - All Europe is looking for them. - How can I help?
- 給我你的大衣 -好的，為什麼？ - Just give me your coat. - Yes, of course. Why?
我不能在這裡暴露身份 I'm not supposed to be here.
但我不能讓強盜逃脫 But I can't let the Gas Mask Bandits escape.
- 穿上它 - 好的，可為什麼？ - Put it on. - Yes. Yes, of course. But why?
我不能暴露身份，記得嗎？ I'm not supposed to be here, remember?
探長 Inspector.
我的老天，太精彩了！ My God, man, that was fantastic.
總探長，是克勞索的主意 設計抓捕“毒氣大盜”嗎？ Inspector, was Clouseau's plan to set a trap for the Gas Mask Bandits?
克勞索認為那些強盜 和粉紅豹有關嗎？ Does Clouseau think the Bandits are connected to the Pink Panther?
克勞索會得到晉升嗎？ Is Clouseau going to be promoted, sir?
案件調查期間，我無可奉告 I cannot comment on ongoing investigations.
開車 Drive.
探長？ Inspector?
克勞索？ Clouseau?
好身手 Good one.
過獎 Thank you.
找我有什麼事？ Now, what do you have for me?
我們找到了全巴黎… We have rounded up all the people in Paris...
- 所有名字裡面有“你”的人 - 終於有進展了 ...with the name "You." - Finally, we are getting somewhere.
複述一遍 Read that back.
你可以走了 You may go.
你懂中文？ You speak Chinese?
你以為我不會說中文？ What, you don't think I speak Chinese?
我要是不會說中文 我們在這兒幹嘛？ If I don't speak Chinese, what are we doing here?
坐在飲水機旁很有趣？ That must be funny around the water cooler.
噢，克勞索探長不會說中文 "Oh, Inspector Clouseau does not speak Chinese.
讓我們一起去吃飯 然後大家都說中文 Let's take him out for lunch. We will all speak Chinese.
這樣他就聽不懂我們說什麼了 He won't know what we are talking about."
這就是你們的小把戲？ 很好玩是吧？ Is that what you like to do? Is that funny?
我當然懂中文 Of course I speak Chinese.
克勞索？ Clouseau?
你好啊，尼可 Bonjour, Nicole.
等會能到我辦公室來一下嗎？ Could I see you in my office in a few minutes?
我馬上就來，探長先生 I'll be right with you, inspector.
什麼事，探長先生？ Yes, inspector?
尼可 Nicole.
今天天氣不錯 The weather has been so pleasant.
你看好天氣會不會持續下去 I was wondering if you think it's going to stay this mild.
我想會吧 I certainly hope so.
難道你不覺得… But do you think the weather...
…要變天了嗎？ ...is going to change?
讓我們祈禱… Let's keep our fingers crossed...
…好天氣能繼續 ...that it stays this mild.
抓到你了！ And here's another one for you!
讓我們看看是誰 Now let's see who you are.
啊…“總探長德雷福斯” It is "Inspector Dreyfus."
罪犯顯然戴著人皮面具 The intruder is obviously wearing a flesh mask.
看我給它揭下來！ But that will come off.
我的臉！ My face!
在髮際那裡說不定能找到縫隙 Maybe there is a seam under your hairline.
讓我把你翻個身 I'll just turn you around.
好些了嗎？我很抱歉，總探長 Are you feeling any better? I am so sorry, inspector.
過去的就過去了吧 Let's just forget it.
我是順便來給你彙報下案子的進度 I thought I would stop by and let you know how we are doing on the case.
我還是… Oh, I'll just...
- 坐這兒聽好了 - 沒問題 ...stay back here. - Yes, of course.
我看見你有這種可收的教鞭 I see you have one of these collapsible pointers.
這真的很有用 So very useful.
直接用手指實在太不體面 It is so degrading to have to point with your finger...
用那些長長的木棍也是… ...or one of those long wooden sticks...
…看起來就像個沒開化的原始人 ...like you are some sort of primitive oaf.
還好你有這個，只需瀟灑一甩 就可以隨心所欲地使用了 But you have one of these, you just snap it open and you are ready to go.
案子，談案子，克勞索 The case. The case, Clouseau.
哦，案子 Yes, the case.
現在進展十分順利 我已經有一份嫌疑人名單了 The case is going quite well. I have prepared a list of suspects.
有多少嫌疑人？ And how many suspects do you have?
27683個 Twenty-seven thousand six hundred eighty-three.
哦…看來破案只是時間問題了？ It's just a matter of time now, isn't it?
- 排除了什麼嫌疑人麼？ - 有的 - Have you eliminated any suspects? - Yes.
排除了一個 One.
一個，那是誰呢？ One. And who would that be?
格盧昂特 Gluant.
格盧昂特就是被害者 Gluant is the victim.
完全正確，總探長 Excellent, inspector.
英雄所見略同啊 We think alike.
線索總是一環扣一環 One clue leading inexorably to the next.
別管它了 Just leave it.
我向您保證，總探長 I assure you, inspector...
我很快就會將兇手緝拿歸案 就像甕中捉… ...I will soon have your criminal cornered like a...
捉…捉…捉… Like a... Like... Like a... Like...
反正就是甕中捉的那…玩意 Like something... Something that you... You corner.
- 說得好 - 我知道你口才很好 - Well put. - I see you enjoy wordplay.
什麼時候我們一起吃個飯… We will have to have lunch one day...
順便來切磋一下 ...and engage in a little verbal jousting.
我相信你定是個“能言善辯”的人 I'm sure you're quite the raconteur.
當然 Yes.
那就改天約個時間 So I will call you for lunch.
本委員會只有一項日程 There's only one item on the agenda of this committee:
決定誰獲得國家最高獎章… To approve the list of nominees for our natiors highest award...
…榮譽勳章 ...the Medal of Honor.
我們的候選者是… The two nominees are...
查理斯·德雷福斯 ...Charles Dreyfus...
哦 No.
以及修女瑪麗·俞格特 ...and Sister Marie-Hugette...
她給與孤兒們無私的關懷 ...whose selfless concern for our natiors orphans...
是我們的榜樣 ...is an inspiration to us all.
我想再提名一個人選 供委員會參考 I would like to add one more name for the committee's consideration.
探長雅克·克勞索 一個來自小鎮的員警 Inspector Jacques Clouseau, the man who came here from a small village...
現被任命調查 伊弗斯·格盧昂特命案 ...to investigate the murder of Yves Gluant...
昨夜又將毒氣面具大盜一網打盡 ...who just last night captured the notorious Gas Mask Bandits.
很好的提議 Yes. Interesting idea.
- 是廣大人民的代表 - 說得好 - An average Frenchman. - Exactly.
絕佳的提議 Excellent idea.
一致同意？ All in favor?
克勞索去了賭場 怎麼沒有通知我？ How is it I was not informed of Clouseau's going to that casino?
- 那時候已經半夜了 - 哦，半夜 - It was the middle of the night. - Oh, it was the middle of the night.
怎麼…你還擔心吵醒我？ What, you did not want to wake me?
克勞索的一舉一動… I want to know of Clouseau's whereabouts...
隨時隨地都要彙報給我！ ...every hour, 24 hours a day.
漏掉一點點，就把你踢出警局！ You miss one call, and I will have you kicked off the force.
- 明白？ - 遵命，先生 - Do you understand? - Yes, sir.
你現在怎麼沒有和他在一起？ Why are you not with him now?
- 因為我在這裡 - 滾！ - I'm here. - Get out.
- 克勞索 - 龐頓 - Clouseau. - Ponton.
今天就到這兒吧，我太累了 Let's call it a day. I am tired.
我只想瞭解一下你的進展情況 I just wanted to see where you are with the investigation.
好主意，龐頓 讓潛意識發揮作用 Good idea, Ponton. To let the subconscious mind...
利用睡覺的時間來破案 現在的情況是什麼？ ...work on the case while we sleep. Now then, what are the facts?
伊弗斯·格盧昂特… Yves Gluant was found...
在國際大賽的半決賽上 ...at the international championship semifinal...
- 被毒鏢毒死 - 罪案！ ...with a poison dart in his neck. - The crime!
畢祖想殺他，可畢祖也死了 Bizu wanted to kill him, but is now himself dead.
新的罪案！ A complication!
格盧昂特從拉洛克那裡… Gluant was siphoning off money...
- 偷錢賭博 - 動機！ ...from Larocque. - A motive!
在屍體旁邊，是那個歌星仙妮婭 And close to the body was the singer, Xania.
仙妮婭不是兇手 Xania is not the killer.
不過我猜她知道的隱情 遠多過她說的那些 But I suspect she knows more than she is telling me.
- 她現在哪裡？ - 匆匆趕往紐約了 - Where is she now? - She left suddenly for New York.
我們得跟過去，看她到底趕什麼“場” We are going to have to follow her and find out what she is up to.
既然去美國… And if I am going to America...
我就得說一口標準的美式英語 ...I am going to have to speak with a flawless American accent...
以免引起別人懷疑 ...so as not to arouse suspicion.
給我找全世界最好的美語老師 So find me the greatest accent coach in the world.
我要買個漢堡包 I would like to buy a hamburger.
我要買個#%&% I would like to buy a hamburger.
我要買個漢堡包 I would like to buy a hamburger.
我要買個… I would like to buy...
…#%&% ...a hamburger.
不，不對 讓我們分開來讀 No, no, no. Let's break it down.
- 這沒法練了 - 決不放棄！ - Maybe we should stop. - We don't quit.
絕對不放棄！再來！ We do not quit. Again! Again!
- 吃過漢堡包了？ - 當然沒有 - Have you ever had a hamburger? - Well, of course not.
令人作嘔的美國食品 It's a disgusting American food.
我從沒見你和女人在一起 I never see you with women.
我結婚了 I'm married.
卻不戴戒指 You don't wear a ring.
是為了保護她 To protect her.
怕那些壞人會恐嚇她 I'm afraid some villain might threaten her.
是啊 Yes.
談談她吧 Tell me about her.
在我眼裡，她是全世界最美的女人 I consider her the most beautiful woman in the world.
你呢？ What about yourself?
不，我不認為自己是個美女 No, I don't consider myself a beautiful woman.
我的意思是，你生命的另一半呢？ I mean, is there a woman in your life?
哦，還沒有 Oh, no.
愛情還未曾光顧我的大門 Love has not yet come my way.
堂堂克勞索探長 怎能同一個普通的女人在一起 How could Inspector Clouseau be with a simple woman?
她只有十分出色才配得上我 She would have to be so extraordinary in order to keep up.
那是挺難的 It's hard.
- 什麼？ - 你遇到意中人 - What is? - For you to meet someone.
是啊 Oh, yes.
明天有很重要的任務 We have a big day tomorrow.
我們得去仙妮婭的飯店 查清她在做什麼 We will go to Xania's hotel and find out what she is up to.
- 晚安，龐頓 - 晚安，克勞索 - Good night, Ponton. - Good night, Clouseau.
- 好身手 - 過獎了 - Good one. - Thank you.
我拿到她的通話記錄了 I got her hotel phone records.
仙妮婭打了兩個電話… Xania made two phone calls...
給一個臭名昭著的 專門替黑市切割鑽石的人 ...to a notorious black-market diamond cutter.
是她！報紙！ There she is! Newspapers!
報紙！ Newspapers!
12樓 Floor 12.
我有不祥的預感 I smell something fishy.
請問有和貴幹？ May I help you?
合作愉快 Good teamwork.
無論在做什麼，給我住手！ 抓你個毫無防備！ Stop! Stop whatever it is you are doing! You are defenseless!
你們的手下已經被我們解決了 We have already taken care of your thugs patrolling the building.
我沒有什麼手下 I don't have any thugs.
你沒有？ You don't?
龐頓，看來我們得向那些人道個歉 Ponton, I think we owe those men an apology.
你在切割什麼？ And what is it you are cutting?
很明顯了，粉紅鑽石 Pink diamond. Clear.
- 很明顯？ - 這不是粉紅豹 - Clear? - It's not the Pink Panther.
那你在這裡鬼鬼祟祟的是做什麼？ And what are you doing here sneaking around?
這是約瑟芬·貝克用過的錢包 （約瑟芬·貝克，著名法國歌星） This purse once belonged to Josephine Baker.
可惜都快散架了 我就拿來鑲上鑽石 It was falling apart, so I had it studded with diamonds...
好在總統府的舞會的演出上 能帶上臺 ...to wear on-stage at the Presidential Ball.
那你為什麼不直接告訴我呢？ Well, why did you just not tell me why you were coming?
在那件事發生以後 I can't be seen at a diamond cutter.
我本不該找人切割鑽石 Not after what happened.
這說不定是你的哪個“神秘客戶” That may be one of your mysterious clients now.
喂？ Hello?
是的，電話帳單我負責 Yes, I am the person in charge of the phone bill.
我對現在的服務還算滿意 Well, I'm somewhat happy with my service.
這麼長的年通話時間？ Twelve months with that many minutes?
還有每月的免費通話時間？ Plus free minutes per month?
好的，我要註冊 雅克·克勞索 Yes, sign me up. Yes, Jacques Clouseau...
信用卡卡號… ...credit card number:
好的，我的郵箱地址是 Yes? Yes, you may have my e-mail address.
DoctorKnockers@aol.com （DoctorKnockers，情場聖手） DoctorKnockers@aol.com.
我剛談了筆好買賣 Well, I think I just got myself a pretty good deal.
- 什麼時候走呢？ - 明天就走 - When are you leaving the city? - I'm leaving tomorrow. Yeah.
看來我得勾引她，好套出一些資訊 I may have to seduce her, Ponton, in order to get her to talk.
- 工作需要 - 套什麼資訊？ - Part of the job. - Talk about what?
查處明天她的飛機什麼時候起飛 I want to find out what time her plane is leaving in the morning.
- 直接問不就行了？ - 太唐突了 - Why not just ask her? - Too obvious.
到時候我會想辦法套她的話 I may have to pump her for information.
- 明白 - 探長… - I see. - Inspector...
在沃爾多夫酒店共進晚餐怎麼樣？ ...would you like to join me for dinner at the Waldorf?
當然可以，小姐 Certainly, mademoiselle.
那就8點？ Say, 8:00?
8點 Eight o'clock.
要不就…在二樓我的房間？ Say, I don't know, my room on the second floor?
“要不就…在二樓我的房間？” "I don't know, my room on the second floor."
到時候見了 I'll see you then.
可能有詐 It might be a trap.
管它的 Who cares?
歡迎，探長先生 Welcome to my room, inspector.
今天天氣不錯 It is lovely weather we are having.
哦，親愛的，哦… Oh, yes, baby. Oh, yes.
到底為什麼？ Why?
什麼為什麼？ Why what?
今天如此反常的舉動 Why were you being so elusive today?
我很怕拉洛克 I was afraid of Larocque.
- 我說不定被他跟蹤了 - 拉洛克？那個賭場老闆？ - He might be following me. - Larocque? The casino owner?
他放出話，無論誰拿了粉紅豹… He sent out word threatening to kill anyone...
他定會置之於死地 ...in possession of the Pink Panther.
他認為那鑽石是屬於他的 He believes it belongs to him.
那他跟蹤你幹什麼？ But why would he follow you?
我來紐約找人切割鑽石 I was in New York to see a diamond cutter.
說不定會讓他誤以為… He might draw the wrong conclusion.
你看… You know...
在你的私人套房裡 ...a man sitting here in your private suite...
和一個男人面對面… ...so close to you...
說不定也會引起別人誤解 ...might draw the wrong conclusion too.
說不定不是誤解呢 Or the right one.
我久聞你的大名了，探長先生 I've heard things about you, inspector.
什麼大名？ What sort of things?
據說你很懂女人 That you really know how to treat a woman.
啊，當然 Yes. Yes.
好戲開始了 Let the games begin.
容我離開一會兒 Let me just slip away.
耶！ Yes!
不！不！不！ No! No, no! No, no!
中年男人的福音… My miracle pill for the middle-aged man.
還給我 Give it back.
探長？ Inspector?
- 你在裡面沒事吧？ - 你自己準備好吧 - Are you all right in there? - I hope you're getting yourself ready.
探長先生，你真的沒事？ Inspector? Are you sure you're okay in there?
我沒事，不過在醞釀愛的情緒 Yes, I am. I'm fine. I'm just getting in the mood for love.
你好 Well, hello.
204房需要乾淨毛巾 We need fresh towels in 204.
別問為什麼，去做就對了 Don't ask why, just do it.
已經告訴你航班好了 在JFK機場 You have the flight number. He leaves tomorrow out of JFK.
他很顯眼的，一頭銀髮 留著小鬍子… He'll be easy to spot. He's got white hair, a thin mustache...
看上去很自信的樣子 其實是迷路了 ...brimming with self-confidence and completely lost.
- 東西都帶上了？ - 是的 - Did you get the stuff? - Yes.
很好 Good.
給我，飛機上的食品都是垃圾 Give it to me. Airline food is for suckers.
我要把這些帶上，保持冷靜 I will smuggle this on. Just act cool.
- 看！是仙妮婭！ - 大家好 - Hey, that's Xania! - Hello.
嗨！謝謝！ Hi. Yes, thank you.
我還是覺得她隱瞞了什麼 I still think she is hiding something, Ponton.
隱瞞什麼？ What?
我要是知道，還會說“隱瞞”？ If I knew what she was hiding, then it wouldn't be hidden, would it?
- 好了，謝謝你們 - 再拍一張！就一張！ - All right. Thank you. - One more! One more!
好了，下一位 Okay, let's go. Next.
沒有什麼需要聲明的 Nothing to declare.
- 借過 - 2號口需要人工檢查 - Come on through. - Hand check on two.
- 這是你的包？ - 是的 - This your bag, sir? - Yes, it is.
- 我需要檢查一下 - 請便，裡面沒什麼見不得人的… - We'll have to hand check it. - Go ahead. I have nothing to hide.
…東西 In my bag.
請隨我來 Come with me, sir.
請留步 Wait here, pal.
一把沒有威脅的隨身小刀 It's a harmless pocketknife.
一把沒有威脅的… 雙節棍？！ It's a harmless pair of... Numchucks?
我…我壓根沒買釘頭槌 不知道它從哪兒冒出來的 I don't... I don't even own a mace. I don't know where that came from.
這些東西…我見都沒見過 I've never seen that stuff in my life.
金波！ Jimbo!
不需要叫金波吧… You don't need Jimbo.
- 金波，乖 - 你兜裡藏著什麼？ - Jimbo, stay. - What's in your pocket, sir?
- 沒什麼 - 先生，我再問一次 - Nothing. - Sir, I'll say again...
- 兜裡有什麼？ - 沒什麼 ...what's in your pocket? - Nothing.
我再問你一次 你衣兜裡到底裝了什麼？ I'm gonna ask you again, what's in your pocket, sir?
好吧 All right.
我裝了… I have, in my pocket...
幾個“漢包包” ...a couple of "hambwon'tsforts."
什麼東西？ What?
我裝了… I have in my pocket...
幾個#@$% ...a couple of "dolvargars."
什麼？ Sir?
- 先生，你到底… - 好吧，我帶了4個#$%$% - Sir, in your pocket you have...? - All right, I have four "hanolders."
抱歉，再說一次 I'm sorry. Once more.
說 Again!
- 什麼… - 看，那是什麼？ - Sir... - Hey, what's that?
- 先生，我耐心有限 - 是嗎？ - Sir... Sir, I'm losing my patience. - Oh, you are?
- 你也沒耐心了？ - 是的 - You are losing your patience? - Yes.
我說的很明白了 就是幾個#%#%^ I'm simply telling you I have a couple of "tamburthers."
6號台有情況！ 6號台有情況！ I've got an End darter down on six. I've got an End darter down on six!
不許動！舉起手來！ - Locked and loaded, sir! - Show me your hands, sir!
好了，讓我給你看… All right, I'll just show you.
- 先生，你不能過去！ - 上！ - No, no, no! Stay here, sir. - Sic him, W!
[ 克勞索給法國蒙羞 ] Clouseau Brings Shame To France
[ 國家的恥辱 ] National Embarrassment!
[ 法國人被捕 ] French Guy Arrested
- 啊，他來了！ - 探長，什麼是“蛋包堡”？ - Yes, that's him! - Inspector, what is a "damburgert"?
探長，給國家丟臉是什麼感覺？ Inspector, how does it feel to have let down the nation?
克勞索探長的“英雄夢”算是做夠了 So much for the heroic Inspector Clouseau.
今天，對於法國 真是個好日子 Well, this is a glorious day for France.
這話怎麼說，總探長？ How so, chief inspector?
因為一個叫克勞索的笨蛋… Because a stupid idiot named Clouseau...
將捲舖蓋走人 而我將接手他的案子 ...is going to be stripped of his rank while I take over his case.
還有人也叫克勞索？ You have a second man named Clouseau?
我的老天 留我們倆單獨談一會兒 My God. Leave us alone for a moment.
你、你…都出去 我有話… You, out. Go, go. Go. I must have a private word...
要對克勞索探長說 ...with Inspector Clouseau.
聽好了，克勞索 Understand something, Clouseau.
讓你當探長，不是因為… When I made you an inspector, it was not because I thought...
你有什麼資格當偵探 ...you had any value as a detective.
而是因為你是全法國最蠢的員警 It was because I thought you were the stupidest policeman in all of France.
一個徹頭徹尾的蠢貨 A hopeless, deluded idiot.
這麼說不是因為我的傑出表現了？ Then I was not promoted for my merits?
讓你當探長，是因為我要找個人… I only made you inspector because I needed someone...
只會在那裡原地打轉 好讓我有時間準備 ...who would quietly get nowhere until I was ready...
去親自破案 ...to take over the case myself.
我只不過想抓住兇手 I was trying to catch a killer.
你只不過想… You were trying...
你不過想當英雄罷了 現在倒好，你丟了官銜… You were trying to become a hero. Well, you will be stripped...
…還被媒體奚落 ...of your rank, ridiculed by the media...
…你已經沒有任何價值了 ...and I will be done with you.
前探長先生，恕我失陪 我要去準備… And now if you will excuse me, ex-inspector, I must go and prepare...
抓捕行動，贏得“榮譽勳章” ...for the arrest which will win me the Medal of Honor...
然後進軍議會 然後…誰知道還有什麼好事？ ...catapult me to the National Assembly, and after that, who knows?
- 再見，克勞索 - 要把他關起來嗎？ - Goodbye, Clouseau. - Shall we lock him up?
看看吧 Look at him.
他徹底完蛋了 讓他回他家躲著吧 He is finished. Let him go home to obscurity.
你都知道？ You knew?
龐頓… Ponton...
…事情不像我預想的那樣 ...things were not as I supposed they were.
要是曾讓你丟臉… And if I ever made you look foolish...
我很抱歉 ...I am sorry.
給您效力是我的榮幸，先生 It was an honor serving under you, sir.
好身手 Good one.
互聯網 The Internet.
你好啊，老朋友 Hello, old friend.
“下載個性化鈴聲…” "To download your new cell-phone ringtone...
“…請按下載按鈕” ...press the button that says 'download."'
用滑鼠點擊，不要拖拽 I take the mouse and I click, but do not drag...
…點“下載”按鈕 ...the button that says "download."
[ 嚴重系統錯誤 ] Fatal System Error
各位早上好 Gentlemen, and lady, good morning.
看這個人，龐李豪 Meet Dr. Li How Pang.
格盧昂特被殺時 他曾列座于貴賓席 He was, of course, in the VIP box when Gluant was killed.
更巧的是，龐先生 給過格盧昂特很大一筆錢 Coincidentally, Dr. Pang would send Gluant large sums of money.
據推測，格盧昂特本該 以龐的名義將錢投在飯店上 Presumably, Gluant was to invest these sums on Pang's behalf.
可作為一個瘋狂的賭徒 格盧昂特… But being a compulsive gambler, Gluant took the money...
…卻把錢輸了個精光 ...and gambled it all away.
這樣一來，龐就有了作案動機 So Pang had the motive.
和作案的機會 He had the opportunity.
龐就在法國 今晚他要參加總統府的舞會 Pang is in France for the president's ball tonight.
我們將以涉嫌謀殺 伊弗斯·格盧昂特將他抓捕歸案 We will arrest him there for the murder of Yves Gluant.
了不起，總探長 Bravo, chief inspector.
我很榮幸地宣佈 我將親自… I am pleased to announce that I am personally taking over...
著手調查粉紅豹命案 抓捕行動即將展開 ...the Pink Panther investigation and that an arrest is imminent.
- 謝謝大家 - 總探長… - Thank you. - Chief inspector...
驗屍結果表明 畢祖死於… ...the coroner has announced that Bizu was killed...
正中枕葉的一記槍傷 您對此有何看法？ ...with a perfect shot to the occipital lobe. Any comments?
枕葉? （枕葉為大腦神經中樞） The occipital lobe?
這個與本案無關 It's irrelevant.
枕葉… The occipital lobe.
我可真是“風光無限”啊 That makes me feel good.
放大 Zoom.
原來如此 Of course.
龐頓，我要你馬上到這兒來 Ponton, I need you over here immediately.
我們繼續辦案 We are back on the case.
尼可，我確信畢祖和格盧昂特 為同一個人所殺 Nicole, I believe Bizu and Gluant were killed by the same person.
而且兇手今晚會再度作案 And that the killer will strike again tonight.
我要你到總統府同我會面 I want you to meet me at the presidential palace.
記得拿上我的PVC袋 上面寫有“總統府”的那個 And bring my vinyl bag marked "presidential palace."
抓緊時間！仙妮婭處境非常危險！ And hurry! Xania is in grave danger.
龐頓，我們馬上去總統府！ Ponton, we must get to the presidential palace immediately!
- 把安全帶系上 - 我才不用系那玩意 - Put your seat belt on. - I don't need a seat belt.
看這玩意能跑多快！ Let's see what this baby can do!
不，克勞索不該在名單裡 No. Clouseau should not be on this list.
他不再為國家機器效力了 He is no longer allowed at state affairs.
他丟盡了臉 現在就是過街老鼠一個 He has been disgraced and humiliated.
那些記者想進去怎麼辦？ But what about all the reporters who will want to come in?
等時機成熟，放他進去 When the time is right, let them pour in.
克勞索 Clouseau.
很抱歉，你不在名單上 I'm sorry, but your name is not on the list.
不在名單上？ Not on the list?
德雷福斯肯定不想讓你進去 Dreyfus must have made sure you cannot get in.
龐頓 Ponton.
- 探長先生，這是你的包 - 幹得好，尼可 - Inspector, here is your bag. - Good work, Nicole.
- 這是什麼？ - 偽裝，我們走 - What is that? - Camouflage. Let's go.
- 尼可 - 是 - Nicole. - Yes?
- 還有一件事 - 什麼 - One last thing. - Yes?
現在是晚上了… It's evening...
你不戴眼鏡更美 ...and you look beautiful without your glasses.
謝謝你，探長先生 Thank you, inspector.
- 總探長 - 什麼事？ - Chief inspector. - What?
有手下報告發現了克勞索 Our men have reported a sighting of Inspector Clouseau.
克勞索？ Clouseau?
我知道他來幹什麼 來自討苦吃 I know what he's up to. He wants to try to make the arrest himself.
發現克勞索 就以非法入侵逮捕他 If you see Clouseau, put him in cuffs for trespassing...
然後在晚會上遊行示眾 ...and parade him through the party.
讓所有人提高警惕 在外面就把他抓住 I want all men on alert. Arrest him outside.
龐先生來了 Dr. Pang has arrived.
第一首歌結束以後就拿下他 We will take him after the first song.
是的，是的 Yes, yes. Very true.
好樣的，龐頓 我們進來了 Good work, Ponton. We're in.
看！ Look!
是兇手！去抓他！ It's the killer! After him!
- 換衣服！ - 站住！ - Change outfits. - Stop! Turn around.
你們是誰？ Who are you?
- 在這裡做什麼？ - 我們… - What are you doing here? - We are... We are two... We are...
- 我來告訴你我們是誰 - 說吧 - I'll tell you exactly who we are. - Yes.
- 我們是… - 我到處都找遍了 - We are... - I've been looking for you everywhere.
你們兩個死哪裡去了？ Where the hell have you been?
- 你認得他們倆？ - 當然認得 - You know these two? - Of course I know them.
他們是仙妮婭的替補伴舞 會在第三場舞… They are Xania's backup dancers. They go on in the third act...
同“科莫多巨蜥” 和造雪機一同出場 ...with the Komodo dragon and the snow machine.
要不他們怎麼穿成這樣，好玩麼？ Why do you think they are dressed like that, for fun?
- 證明給我看 - 我們沒時間… - Prove it. - We don't have to prove...
你看不到他們都精疲力竭了嗎？ Can't you see these dancers are exhausted?
還不快去倒杯水來 Go and fetch them some water.
太棒了 That was fantastic.
- 真的？ - 你是一個… - You think so? - You are...
了不起的女人 ...an amazing woman.
探長，兇手！ Inspector, the killer.
現在讓我去抓兇手 Now I am ready to catch a killer.
住手！ Stop!
以法律的名義，馬上住手！ Stop in the name of the law.
抓住他！ Get him!
精彩！ - Bravo! - Bravo!
龐頓，你走那邊，我從這邊包抄 Ponton, you follow him that way. I'll go this way and cut him off.
站住！ Stop!
轉過身來 Turn around.
- 你被捕… - 你被捕了！ - You're under arre... - You are under arrest!
龐頓！抓住他！ Ponton! After him!
上 Now.
快！快！ Go, go!
龐先生，我以… Well, Dr. Pang. In the name of the statutes...
法蘭西共和國法律之名… ...and laws of the great nation of France...
以涉嫌謀殺伊弗斯·格盧昂特 的罪名逮捕你 ...I arrest you for the murder of Yves Gluant.
克勞索！抓住他！ Clouseau! Arrest him.
哪一個是他？ Which one is he?
就是那個了 That would be him.
我依據法蘭西共和國法律之名… In the name of the statutes and laws of the great nation of France...
以涉嫌謀殺伊弗斯·格盧昂特 的罪名逮捕你 ...I arrest you for the murder of Yves Gluant.
搞陪練的尤裡·培連 Yuri, the trainer who trains.
你是誰？ And who are you?
我是探長雅克·克勞索 I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
格盧昂特什麼也不是！ Gluant was nothing!
都是我的功勞 I drew up the plays.
我告訴他的完美防守戰術 他拿去占為己有 He takes credit for brilliant French defense which I gave him...
當我不存在，現在他真的“不存在”了 死於中國的毒藥！ ...and treats me like I'm dead. Fine. Now he is dead from Chinese poison.
探長先生，是什麼讓你想到是他？ Inspector, what made you think it was him?
好好想想，龐頓 當時你也在場 But, Ponton, think back. You were there.
你們來找我什麼麻煩？ WHY DO YOU BOTHER ME?
抓我來這裡做什麼？ 我很忙的 WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE? I'M BUS Y.
教練是被中國的毒藥毒死的 THE COACH WAS KILLED WITH CHINESE POISON.
你該去找球隊的陪練 YOU SHOULD LOOK FOR SOCCER TRAINERS.
他們才有中藥的知識 THE Y ARE REQUIRED TO HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OF CHINESE HERBS.
他說得對 She was right, of course.
根據87723號條例 球隊的陪練 According to statute 87223, every trainer of the national soccer team...
必須懂得中藥的知識 ...must have a knowledge of Chinese herbs.
這樣他要謀殺格盧昂特就十分容易 This made it easy for him to murder Gluant.
- 畢祖呢？ - 很簡單 - And Bizu? - Simple.
畢祖常聽見 尤裡對格盧昂特大嚷大叫 Bizu had often heard Yuri's rants against Gluant.
事後畢祖勒索尤裡 招致殺身之禍 So Bizu blackmailed Yuri and got himself killed.
哦，是你 Oh, it's you.
完美的一槍爆頭 A stunning shot to the head...
直射入枕葉 ...burrowing deeply into the occipital lobe.
尤裡不過是個陪練 But Yuri is a soccer trainer.
那樣的手法必出自一個神槍手 That shot was made by an expert marksman.
總探長，相信你一定很熟悉… Chief inspector, I'm sure you're familiar...
俄國軍規611條 ...with Russian army statute 611.
當然 Well, of course.
所有軍人… All members must be...
都必須精通射擊 ...expert marksmen... - Expert marksmen.
並熟悉枕葉的位置 ...and understand the location of the occipital...
當然 - Occipital lobe, of course. - Yes.
- 很正確 - 尤裡… - Very true. - Yes, Yuri.
仙妮婭還活著 Xania is still alive.
可是你恨她，所以要殺死她 But you hated her. And that's why you are trying to kill her.
你恨她是因為她 先後同畢祖和格盧昂特約會 You hated her because she went with Bizu and then Gluant...
卻從沒把你放在眼裡 ...and treated you like you were nothing.
可惜你忘記了對待女人的真諦 But you forgot a fundamental truth about women.
女人就像是… A woman is like a...
就像是… Is like a...
洋薊花 ...artichoke.
只有用心爭取，才能贏得佳人芳心 You have to do a bit of work before you get to her heart.
那鑽石呢？粉紅豹在哪裡？ What about the diamond? What about the Pink Panther?
好了，克勞索探長 感謝你執行我的命令 Yes, thank you, Inspector Clouseau for carrying out my orders.
把鑽石交出來，尤裡 Hand over the diamond, Yuri.
那顆破鑽石關我什麼事？ What do I care about your stinking diamond?
他沒有鑽石 He does not have the diamond.
殺人犯沒有鑽石？ The murderer does not have the diamond?
- 沒有 - 那…到底在哪？ - No. - Well, then, where is it...
克勞索探長 ...lnspector Clouseau?
就在那兒，她手提包裡！ It is there! In her purse.
讓我看看 Let me see.
抱歉，克勞索，沒有鑽石 Sorry, Clouseau, no diamond.
請把包給我 The purse, please.
勞駕拿著這個 Could you hold that, please?
格盧昂特那時走到我身邊 說他決定不再欺騙我 After Gluant came to me, he said he decided to stop cheating on me.
還要我嫁給他 Then he asked me to marry him...
然後就把鑽石放到了我手裡 ...and put the ring in my hands.
他被殺以後，我想… After he was killed, I thought...
要是我拿出戒指 人們一定會認為我是兇手 ...if I came forward with the ring, everyone would think I did it.
要是格盧昂特在死之前 把戒指給了你 If Gluant gave you the ring before he died...
那麼根據民法812-914B 你是合法所有人 ...then according to civil statute 812-914B, you are the rightful owner.
你可以擁有粉紅豹戒指 You may keep the Pink Panther.
不過探長先生 你怎麼知道戒指在她手上？ But, inspector, how did you know she had it?
很簡單，龐頓 It was simple, Ponton.
我在觀察安檢那幅照片的時候 I was looking at a photo of myself at the checkpoint.
有件東西吸引了我 Something caught my eye:
那時候仙妮婭的錢包正經過X光機 Xania's purse passing through the x-ray machine.
我將圖片放大… I enlarged the photo...
…那裡面赫然躺著… ...and in it...
粉紅豹鑽戒！ ...the Pink Panther.
- 本案告破！ - 了不起，克勞索！ - The case is closed! - Bravo, Clouseau.
了不起！ Bravo!
克勞索！克勞索！ 克勞索！克勞索！ Clouseau! Clouseau! Clouseau! Clouseau!
總探長… Chief inspector?
十分感謝你給我這個機會 破了粉紅豹命案 I can't thank you enough for giving me......the opportunity to solve the Pink Panther murder.
要不是你決定讓我負責這個案子 Without your decision to put me on the case...
這榮譽勳章說不定就頒給別人了 ...who knows, someone else might've won the Medal of Honor this year.
是的，沒錯 Yes, I know.
我欠你一個人情 沒有你，我還只是個無名小卒 I owe it all to you, chief inspector. Without you, I would be nothing.
- 現在也就是個“有名小卒” - 口才真不錯，總探長 - Perhaps you still are. - Excellent verbal joust, inspector.
蠢貨一個！哦，不… You idiot! Oh, no.
- 出發吧，龐頓 - 不…克勞索！ - Hit it, Ponton. - No! Clouseau!
停車！老天… Stop the car. Dear...
你說什麼？ What?
沒說什麼 Nothing.
你沒有說… You didn't say:
“停車…我的老天… 求你了…快停車…” "Stop the car. Dear God, I beg of you, stop the car"?
沒有 No.
痛嗎？ Does it hurt?
什麼？ What?
我聽不懂 I can't understand you.
我猜他是想換個姿勢 You know what, I think he wants to recline.
這裡應該有根杆子 There's a lever right here.
哦，在那邊 Oh, it's on the other side, I'm sorry.
只差一點點了，稍等 A bit of a reach. Wait a minute. I'll get it.
我馬上就弄好 I'll get it right here.
就在這背後 Is right back here.
總該有什麼簡單的辦法… There must be a simpler way...
…哦，這有個遙控器 ...of working this... Oh, there's a remote control...
這樣只需要… ...so that you can just...
哦，太靈敏了！ 我剛碰到就起來了！ It's sensitive! I hardly touched it! But it goes up...
好了！好了！ That's it! That's it!
- 龐頓 - 什麼事，探長先生 - You know, Ponton. - Yes, inspector.
德雷福斯總探長 現正處境很差 This is a very hard time for Inspector Dreyfus.
我們一定要表現出深切的同情 It is important that we show compassion.
用微笑為他療傷 And we must use the gentle healing power of laughter.
這樣一定很痛 This is going to hurt.
克勞索！ Clouseau!
啊，這微風挺涼爽的 That breeze feels good.