Man's voice: So, I'm dead...
and I think it's because of this redhead.
Do you know who I am, Jake?
The Antichrist?
I'm just a guy looking for some answers.
Hey, you know, pal, ain't we all?
Things are probably gonna end bad for you tonight, Jake.
Yeah, I'm starting to get that feeling.
Is your life flashing before your eyes?
Honestly? Just the last three weeks.
It's not a bad place to start.
Calm down, okay? I'm sorry.
I lost my head in there, I don't know what happened.
You fucking shot him, that's what happened.
What other fucking choice do I have? The motherfucker was gonna welch.
Did you not hear him? Did you not see him?
I can't be here, man, do you understand me?
- I can't fucking be here! - Listen to me, all right?
It went to shit, that happens sometimes.
- Oh, fuck, man! - You're not listening, Lionel.
We can still get through this, we still have some time,
but I need you to use your fucking head,
and I need you to trust me.
Can you do that?
- (police sirens blare) - Let's go!
Jake: Come on, let's hustle it up.
Come on, grab his feet, will you?
Lionel, he's dead, all right? Maybe you didn't pull the trigger,
but you were standing right there and you saw me do it.
Now grab his fucking legs.
Bartender: Tick-tock.
Hey, you wanna help, then help. If not, shut your piehole.
Your mess!
Jake: Do me a favor, please, shut your fucking mouth.
My place.
Maybe now, you'll shut the fuck up.
Please!
You think this kind of shit hasn't happened here before?
Given, it's usually on Wednesday and usually I tell the cops,
"No, officer, I didn't get a good look at the shooters."
Usually, anyway...
I swear to God, I didn't see anything.
You let me go, I won't say a word, I promise.
Don't get hysterical on us, sweetheart, all right?
I can't fucking be here!
Then you know what, Lionel, maybe you should go.
What about the money?
What about this situation makes you think
I can answer that question, right now?
Fuck! Fuck!
(screams)
(police sirens blare)
Cop #1: Freeze!
Freeze, you motherfucking cocksucking scumbags!
All right, guys, stop waving those things...
What took you so fucking long? Jesus Christ!
It's like 100 degrees in here and I'm lying in this shit forever.
What the fuck! You guys were late, we had to go to a Mexican stand-off.
We had to go to gunplay. Gentlemen, that isn't our racket.
We were busy fighting crime.
You're keeping the streets safe from pedophiles and drug dealers?
Oh! Goddamn it.
I told you, you're using too much powder, look at my fucking shirt.
I understand, but you know something?
You don't get the nice splatter effect.
Look at this splatter effect.
The ones with blood come out of your cut.
- I can live with that. - Hey, Jake,
when do I get to play the inside?
Gordo plays the inside. You are the shill, you know that.
Yeah, but come on, all I do is cry and get insulted here.
What are you talking about?
You should get a fucking Academy Award for the shill work you do.
Jake: Big Al, does anyone do it better than you?
Come on, we've got a good thing going here.
You want to jinx us by changing things?
Yeah, you're right, I don't want to jinx anything.
Of course I'm right. Here you go, that's your cut.
- Thank you. - Good work, paisan.
- What? - It's a lot of cash.
He came up with it awfully quick.
Did you see how quickly he got out of here?
- He's not coming back, it's over. - Okay, fine.
I've gotta pinch a loaf. Did anybody mess up the hoop?
- It's clean. - Gentlemen,
10%, your cut. Enjoy!
You guys got a lot of sack, man. I'll give you that much.
It's confidence. Just confidence.
It doesn't matter what the con is.
Insider trading, a line we got at a bookie club,
insurance scam, whatever.
You've seen the money and you want it. More of it.
So who cares if you have to bend the rules a little bit?
As long as nobody gets hurt.
But then somebody does.
- (gunshot) - (scream)
Tommy Suits always said, "A confidence game
is like putting on a play, where everyone knows their part.
The inside man, the roper, the shills,
everyone, that is, except for the mark."
So now you're an accomplice in a homicide.
Everything you thought you were in control of,
just flew out the window, or is dripping down your leg.
You should be running out the door,
desperate to forget that this ever happened,
and ready to repent your greedy ways.
What about the money?
Jake: Then there it is again, that itch.
There's a guy standing in front of you with a smoking gun,
another guy on the floor bleeding all over the place,
and all you can do is think about the money.
You're a sick twisted fuck.
So we gotta make sure we give you the blow off.
We have to make sure that you never ever come looking for us again.
We have to get you off of our backs, forever.
(police sirens blare)
That's why we give you the fix.
Fuck.
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck!
LAPD's finest.
Half as smart and twice as crooked
- as the guy they just chased away. - Freeze! Motherfucking scumbags...
Sucking-fucking cocksuckers!
Man: Grifters.
We all can't be model citizens such as yourself.
- It's all about the money, isn't it? - Ain't it always?
Jake: That's what makes us run.
- What's your name? - Dutch.
- And despite what they say... - I love that name.
- Me too. - It can buy you love.
Check it out, original leather seats,
soft top, and you're gonna love this, suicide doors.
- Nice!
Jake: It can say everything about you.
It can erase all those things about you, you wish didn't exist.
It's Alphonse. I wanna settle up.
No, I haven't been ducking you.
I told you, I get it.
Jake: It can make you think you're on top of the world.
And if you believe that money can do all that for you,
you are the perfect mark.
Oops!
Wasn't it Jack Kerouac who said,
"If you own a rug, you own too much."
I don't necessarily like Kerouac,
and driving cross-country isn't my idea of a good time,
but the guy's got a point.
(answering machine) ...three messages.
Hey, it's Monica, Bill. I'm still dizzy from the other night. Call me.
Hi Scott, Just thought I'd call you and tell you I'm back.
You know the number, it's Kate, by the way.
Bruce, it's Cheryl, if you don't want to see me, just say so.
But this is the last time I'm calling.
Jake: If you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose.
But when it comes to money, whether it's finding it or losing it,
you just have to remember how much of it is just luck.
Oops!
Jake: Just dumb fucking luck.
(door slams open)
Mr. Dolby?
Mr. King would like a word with you.
- Now? Right now? - We have a car waiting.
(phone ringing)
- Hello. - You better get over to Al's now.
- For what? - (dial tone)
Hello?
Nothing. Who the fuck?!
There's a couple hundred bucks on his dresser. All of his shit's here.
This definitely wasn't a random thing.
Is it ever a random thing?
Shit, Al. What did you do?
- Let's just think about this... - Gordo: This fucking town, man.
Jesus Christ, I had a bad feeling about LA.
Didn't I say that? This damn fucking town!
Gordo, now is not the time for that, all right?
I'm sorry, I'm just a little...
Jesus Christ. Look at what they did to him, Jake.
Right in the middle of his egg foo yung.
Think they know about us? What if they get to us too?
Don't start freaking out, okay?
Let's get Al out of here first. Miles, get a blanket or something.
No, we're going to leave him right here.
What are you, high?
We're not leaving Al here.
Gordo: Grab that end, now. Grab it, Miles!
Jake: Miles, pick up the table and put it back.
Gordo, let go of the fucking rug. I said we're leaving him here.
Drop it.
Fuck you! How long have we worked with this fucking guy?
I'm not going to just fucking leave him here! All right?
Gordo, get a fucking grip.
We're leaving him here.
Jake: Big Al used to send money to his father,
a Vietnam vet slowly losing his mind in a VA hospital in Cleveland.
- Al was like that. - Now you coming?
Jake: That's why Al never played the inside.
There he is. So what do you hear?
Well, Lionel Dolby came down with a sudden case of drowning last night.
They just pulled him out of the Silverlake reservoir.
Now I know why he was such a good rope.
I mean, cash, that much, and we never had to put him on the send?
Turns out this fucking mope is an accountant for the King.
The what? Who's that?
The cash we fleeced off him was collection money.
Bookies, pushers, you know, whatever.
He was supposed to take that money and give it back to the King
earlier yesterday, like he does every Thursday,
except this time that fucking stenad figured he could make
a little something off of us and still get the money back to King
before anybody says, "Boo."
- Okay, what's a king? - Currently?
A very large-type pole stuck right up our asses, Miles.
- Mob? - No.
No. Independent.
Winston King.
He likes to call himself "The King."
How'd they get to Al?
It's beautiful.
Last night Al calls some bookie out in Redondo,
tells them he's got the cash to settle up.
Because, apparently he's been ducking this guy for like a month.
Classic fucking Al, right?
So the bookie asks where he's got this money, all of a sudden.
Does Al tell this guy that he just cashed a fucking bar mitzvah bond?
That he's been giving head for 20 bucks a pop? No.
No.
The fucking idiot starts going on and on about how
this job he just pulled, how he fleeced Dolby...
how he fleeced...
- You pissed we didn't get credit? - No, no, no.
That was the only semi-fucking smart thing he said.
Except, anybody that's ever met Big Al
knows the only thing he's comfortable doing alone
is eating.
So this guy tells that guy, that guy tells some other guy,
eventually it gets back to someone who works for the King and...
Shazaam.
Any idea who the shooter was?
Specifically? I don't know.
But, I'm sure they're looking for us, too.
All right, just an idea, let's divvy up the cash and split.
Excuse me. Are you new? Is that the thing? Is he new?
Miles, this guy holds a grudge better than my ex-mother-in-law.
You remember that Moshe Macelli? That Jew-Italian guy from Boston?
They used to call him Matzo Mazzarelli? Remember that?
The guy with the face spaz?
It's called a facial twitch, Miles.
And the guy was not born like that, you know.
Five years ago, Matzo was turf-fixing for the King at Santa Anita,
and he skimmed two grand before skipping town.
Five years later King finally catches up to him,
keeps him chained in his fucking bathroom for like five days.
Oh, God.
Now just say the word King, and he spits up all over himself.
- Jesus! - Pathetic.
Even words like Vi-king and shrin-king, they set the guy off.
That's a five-year grudge over $2000.
So we go talk to him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, You wanna give the money back?
- I didn't say that. - Pittsburgh.
Madrone.
Pittsburgh is where it's happening.
Bird flew into my house last night, too.
Not a good sign, Gordo.
Jake: The Euclid was our place.
Gordo fleeced the deed off some jack-off in a card game.
We used it every now and then for a rag, but mostly it was our office.
Our power point.
What are you doing?
Where the hell's that going?
- We want insurance? - Jesus Christ, Miles.
I'm just asking.
Just mail it.
Yeah, I'm looking for the King, please.
Just tell him it's regarding an accounting problem.
Yeah, he'll know.
Hollywood and Vine? Okay.
- When? - Two hours from now.
- But just me. - Fuck that. We're going too.
Let's all just put our dicks back in our pants for a second, okay?
Is this the best thing to do, Jake?
How do you know the King is going to let you walk, Jake?
'Cause I'm getting a ride.
Don't be dicking around in there, okay?
And if he shoots you or stabs you or causes you to bleed profusely,
call a cab, 'cause your ass ain't getting back in here.
Thanks, guys.
We appreciate your punctuality. Mr. King is expecting you.
Lupus!
You said to pat him down, so I'm patting him down.
It only takes a moment to be polite.
My apology, Mr. Vig. If you wouldn't mind?
- So you the guy that got Big Al? - Nope.
Mr. King farms out that kind of work. Please.
After you.
Wait with the ladies.
Harlin.
Okay, now you see that right there?
Find out who she is. Make a note. I think it's channel 42 or 3.
- A little harder. - The girls are here and the kid.
Also got the Seldin brothers with a shipment.
- Bring them in. - Which?
- Whatever. - The brothers, the girl or the kid?
Oh that's good. Whoever. Come on. I'm getting a massage, Harlin.
You got it, boss.
Jake, ladies.
Harlin, I think I bet that dog.
Go! Go! Go!
Hey.
Well, look it here.
- Hi, girls. - Girls: Hi.
So, are you two together?
We're sisters.
I like sisters!
Jake, I can't quite see. Why don't you move a little bit,
so that I can check them out then you can check them out?
Thanks.
- Sisters, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- And you're over 18? - Yeah.
Harlin, let's see what the sisters can do.
- Put them in the booth. - Ladies.
Harlin: Oh, by the way, he had an escort.
LAPD.
That's a little overreacting, I'm not gonna hurt you.
It's just a little insurance, that's all.
Uh-huh. So, they're on the take for you.
Shh. You must be pretty good if you got cops driving you around.
Is that because you look so innocent,
and you're kind of cute there aren't you?
Yeah, it's something like that.
So what do you do, tiger?
You just con people out of their money?
There is actually some technique to it.
You mean, like... style.
Yeah, it helps, don't you think?
No, style is at the end of my list, I'll tell you why,
when I was a young man like you just starting out,
my first big score, this guy we robbed.
I think his name was... Chinatown Schmidt!
It was nothing big, my end was about $800.
The first thing I did, I go out and get myself a suit, right?
Yeah, I looked good. It was like white.
It was white. It was white white.
White, white, white, white, white!
Oh, I looked good, man.
I walked down the street, everybody was checking me out.
- Male and female. - I'm sure they did.
Anyway, the first day I wore it out,
October, it was still hot out.
We were kicking back in Malibu and Chinatown Schmidt, right?
He catches up with us, so two guys roll by and boom, boom, boom, boom!
Boom, boom, boom, boom!
Six of us, scatter, man. The dust settles.
Everybody's checking their fingers and their toes.
And who is the one guy that got hit, sailor?
You know why?
White suit!
I was the first thing they saw, I was the first thing they aimed at.
I was the first thing they hit.
So what did I learn that day, Jake?
Don't wear white after Labor Day, maybe?
No. Sometimes, Jake,
style can get you killed.
Harlin: Mr. King, the girls are ready!
Oh great! Wait, sport, you're gonna love this.
- You ever been here before? - No, it's not really my thing.
Oh, you don't know that. Tuesday we got Disco Night,
Wednesday is that electronic music shit,
Thursdays are Gay and Lesbian Night.
That is very tasteful, by the way. Ow! Ow! Ow!
Lupus, I want you to get me... Lupus!
Goddamn it, you're looking at them or you're working for me?
I want you to get me an espresso, please, and tell that bitch
to give me back my slippy dips. Come on. Now!
Let me ask you something, why one of my guys?
Why Lionel Dolby?
My six-year-old nephew could con anything out of that dude. Why?
Look, if we knew Dolby was connected to you,
we'd never have gone near him, so I apologize for any inconvenience.
Honest mistake, all right?
It's just something between two guys that don't know each other yet.
So we're gonna make an exchange of the money
and all will be forgiven. Isn't that right?
- No. That I won't do. - Won't?
You won't. You won't.
I want you to look very hard at me, motherfucker, and tell me why.
Let me rephrase that. That I can't do.
Because A, I don't have the money, and B, you killed one of my guys.
One of your guys. That's four-spot, right?
- Yeah. - Four.
One of your guys, huh?
I gotta take a pill, or I'm all over the place.
- This is confidential, right? - Yeah.
Mm! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey, stop it! Stop that right now!
They can't hear me. Harlin, get them outta there, Goddamn it.
Down! Down! Shit, man.
How do you like that? They're sisters.
Let me ask you something. I want a straight answer now.
You did not know that Dolby was connected to me?
- You heard me before. - But it's so important
that you don't stray from the truth in this one little part.
I didn't know.
You're a good grifter, man.
It's hard to tell when you're lying.
But I'm getting there. Come here, girls.
Now listen, it's the first time I've ever put girls in the booth.
Usually, they work their way up.
You're gonna go work on your routine, you know why?
Because you're saying that you are sisters.
- Mm-mm, We are sisters. - Shh.
- We're very close. - Let me talk. Let me talk.
- You don't like what we're doing? - Of course I like what you're doing
but I like it done with artistry, with grace,
and that means, if you're gonna eat each other,
you must find a way to do it tastefully, okay?
These are people here, they've got families, all right?
- Okay. - You understand? Then go work!
- Go on. Go on! - Ladies.
Tell me this,
how are you and I gonna resolve our shit?
I get you what I owe you,
plus interest, by going on the grift for you.
I like that. Okay, sit down. Put your baby cakes down here,
that cute little Irish muscle ass you got.
Look, I came here to do a deal,
not play grab-ass with you, you freak, all right?
- Humor. - You heard my proposal
- Humor, Jake, junior, buster, humor. Come on.
You wanna get out of here I gotta open up the place.
Come on, sit down. Business. Come on.
All right. Here's what l...
- you don't want to sit closer? - No, I'm fine over here, thank you.
All right.
Can I see your hand?
You got a big hand. Let me see your hand, I'm not gonna bite you.
Look at that hand, man. You should have been a pianist,
or a guitarist, look at the size of that.
Wow. See this?
That's your love line. That's your money line.
And that's looking very very good.
And that's your life line, going all the way down...
Uh-oh.
You see that little gap there.
It means that at one point you could have a little trouble.
But it's up to you to make it better.
I want you to talk to me and I want you to make me happy.
And I don't want you to scare me.
You do not want to scare me, junior.
What's gonna happen, now?
I play a con. You get a cut, I get a cut.
We get square.
And I give you the who and you give me the how, right?
And you can because you're so good, right?
I like to think so.
Okay, you're gonna do this with Morgan Price.
- Morgan Price? - Yes.
- Impossible. - Why?
'Cause you can't get to him. He's too big.
You got to me.
- Yeah, but we got to you because... - What?
- You were a fluke, a mistake.
That's a good answer.
- Why Morgan Price? - 'Cause he's very important to me.
Lupus!
Don't fuck with me, junior, okay? Lupus!
You know what?
You're gonna take my friend Lupus with you, okay?
Absolutely not, that's not the way I operate.
- Shh. - I work with my guys.
You're gonna take Lupus with you.
That's the way I operate.
Look at me, now. Tell me we're set.
- Yeah. We're set. - Good.
We're done with all this business now?
The rest of it depends on you.
I think I'm done.
* Erotica *
* Romance *
* Erotica *
* Romance *
* My name is Dita *
* I'll be your mistress tonight *
* I'd like to put you in a trance... *
Excuse me, miss? Miss!
I think you dropped something.
You know you're good, but you're not that good.
I spotted that lift from across the club.
Wait? You don't recognize me?
- Tony, could you get my car? - Sure!
You really don't remember me, do you?
Should I?
Oh, right.
That's good.
So, you're interested in a little work?
You couldn't afford me.
Not with $27
and a maxed-out Visa, John.
Or is it Tom or Bill?
Hard to tell with so many IDs.
Yeah, well, the name's Jake.
And don't flatter yourself, sweetheart.
That's one thing I never had to pay for,
and I don't consider it work.
Guess you got the wrong girl then.
Do me a favor, take a deep breath and count to 10.
I'm talking about a grift, and it pays well.
Unless you think you're gonna get rich
jerking off geriatrics in that place.
I didn't know you cared.
Keep the wallet.
We're even.
Take a deep breath,
count to 10, and...
go fuck yourself!
Look, it pays well.
Six figures.
All you gotta do is play a part,
do a little acting.
You think you can handle that?
Why me? You don't even know me.
'Cause what I've seen, I liked.
And I got a good feeling about you.
Hasn't anyone ever said that to you before?
No.
- Thanks, Tony. - You bet!
But, I'll think about it.
All right, I think it will be worth your while.
Make a wish.
11:11, make a wish.
That's twice!
- I can see why you liked her. - Yeah, I liked her a lot.
And that was it, we had our crew.
Now all we needed was the con.
Miles: Bottoms. Oh...
- Oh well. - Shit!
What's up, guys?
Who's the mope?
This is Lupus.
He works with the King and now he's gonna be part of our crew.
I'm here to make sure things go smoothly.
Woman: Anybody got a light?
And this is Lily.
She's the new shill I was telling you about.
- Whoa. - Gordo: Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Hold the fucking phone, what is this?
Are we playing a con, or are we doing a rendition of "Our Town"?
Gordo, trust me. We need the help on this one.
Our new mark? Morgan Price.
Why?
Because, that's who the King wants us to fleece.
And besides, the price is perfect.
I'm not supposed to wait for you, you're supposed to wait for me.
Jake: His old man was a big time mob attorney.
Which makes him a second generation crook.
When he dropped dead, Price carried on the family tradition,
by opening a one-stop shopping center for money laundering
and low interest corporate fraud.
Well, fuck him!
Almost $1 billion gets washed through his shop every year,
so we know he's got the money.
It's just a matter of getting to it.
How much are we going after?
$5 million.
- We can only hold the King at 150. - I know.
That's why we don't go after him directly.
First, we find a doable mark in Price's bank,
a mid-level employee.
We meet him with papers, inquiring about a corporate loan.
Our guy then fudges numbers in the right places.
Moves our papers to the top of the pile or to the bottom,
depending upon what we need.
Our loan is approved.
On the given day,
the money's wired into a corporate account in an offshore bank.
That same day, I show up in Belize with the proper ID,
and corporate papers to make the withdrawal.
- Um-mm. - What? What is it, Miles?
I'm just thinking out loud here...
but $5 million in a briefcase?
Good point.
Jake: It's bank policy not to release this money in cash,
'cause it's under a corporate account.
So we then cash the check at another bank.
Any major airport's gonna be too hard to control.
LAX is out. So we use Ontario.
Mid-level hub with direct international flights.
40 minutes outside LA. This is the most important part,
you can't just walk into the United States
with a suitcase full of cash,
without evoking the words "cavity search."
That's why we need someone on the inside at Customs.
Then we disappear.
Now this might just be me, but that is hands down
the dumbest fucking idea I've ever heard.
Gordo: People have tried this before, Jake.
It's never worked.
Teddy Fraiser and his crew got nailed in Vancouver last year.
It's never worked before,
because, A, they didn't flush the bank enough,
B, their corporate papers were for shit,
and C, unlike us,
they did not have somebody on the inside at Customs.
Yeah, or D, it's a dumb fucking idea!
Hey!
What do you fucking suggest, Miles? You wanna run?
We never had a problem with that, before.
Jake: We never had a fucking problem like this before.
Yes, we have, okay?
And we would have been beautiful about it.
We would have had a bucket of fried chicken,
delivered to the King with a nice
Kiss My Ass card attached to it, and we would have moved on
until the next local putz caught on.
We're getting too old to run, Miles.
Yeah well, we're still a little too young for San Quentin.
Look, I'm... I mean, are you pissed off about Al?
Look at me.
Trust me, I'm pissed too.
But I'm not 25-to-life pissed.
Look, I'm getting clear of this.
All right?
So if you don't want to do it for the fucking principle,
do it for the money. Gordo?
Yeah, Jake, whatever.
There's no whatever with this one.
You're either with me or against me.
No third position.
I'm in.
Aw, what a relief.
Oh, fuck.
Jake: I agreed with Miles,
it was hands down, a dumb fucking idea.
But they bought in, now I had to deliver...
- Yeah, it's Vig. - And I needed help.
Cop #1: What are we gonna do with this stuff? I mean, heroin.
- What do you do with heroin? - You sell it.
- To who? - Don't be a knucklehead.
Cop #2: How hard do you think it is to sell one drug dealer's drugs
to another drug dealer?
If Vig is right, we're looking at 100, 150.
You think it's a good idea? We never done this shit before.
Well, what is he gonna do, file a missing drug report?
Hey if it works out, we could turn the guy over a few times.
I hope so, bro'. I took my daughter to the orthodontist, yesterday.
150 bucks to tighten those bitches up.
Took him five minutes. Then he said it wasn't even covered.
It's cosmetic. The plan doesn't cover cosmetic.
I had a cap put in here, right?
My fucking dentist tells me, "You're not covered for that."
Bullshit cosmetics!
I got a freaking tooth split in half here, all right?
Write that shit in as a cavity or something.
- Did he? - Yeah, he did.
Fucking department got the bullshit dental plan.
That's our man, right there. Red bag, right?
- Is that the guy? - Let's go.
Hands up! Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What the fuck you got? - Get on the ground.
- So, how did you get caught?
Tommy Suits used to say that in any con,
sooner or later somebody's gonna start asking the right questions.
Usually, it takes a little longer.
Gordo: Am I the only one who feels like we can't make a move,
with this guy on us? I think we should ditch him.
Jake: No, we need him and dummy up. Here he comes.
Gordo: Ah, here he is. Hey, hey.
How's the hoop, superstar? Clean?
What the fuck is it with you and bathrooms, huh? Tell me.
Miles: Hey, he can't use a restroom unless he knows it's clean.
- What's the matter with that? - Manly, all right, wise guy?
That's cute.
You know this is a major metropolitan city, brother.
Public sanitation does not run very high
on the City Hall agenda.
You know what you can get off a toilet seat or a doorknob?
You wanna run down the list?
Hepatitis. You ever hear of that?
Influenza. The fucking flesh-eating disease.
- I'm eating. - Yeah, we noticed.
Do you need a shovel down there, dear?
Gordo, Gordo. That's enough, all right?
We gotta get down to business, here. Miles!
We're gonna need you to find us a mark inside of Price's bank.
Somebody we can work with. Gordo, we're gonna need papers.
Corporate insurance, a letter of intent, the whole nine.
- All fugazze? - No, no, no
Corporate papers have got to be legit.
We're all gonna need new IDs. You gotta make sure they're clean.
Go talk to Suits, and he'll hook you up.
- What about Customs? - Don't worry about Customs,
I'll take care of that.
We're gonna need some start-up cash, first.
Lupus, you think the King would be willing to bank us?
You already owe him.
Lupus, we need a banker for this.
We can't do this job without a banker.
- Gordo, do we need a banker? - I think so, yes.
- Jake: I think we need a banker. - I don't know, man
- You could try. - He's not gonna listen to me.
I bet if you talk to him, loosen him up,
- maybe he'll listen to you. - All right! I'll try, okay?
Don't do us any favors, all right?
Jesus, join the team!
So, you guys are good? You know what you need to do?
- Yeah. - All right!
Lupus, Lily, we'll go over to see the King, now.
- All right! - Jake: Ready to roll?
Let's do it.
I'm not finished.
She's not finished.
Gordo: What's wrong with you? Where's your manners?
Nice! You know why?
Because it's real. You're licking each other.
- Feels good? - Feels so good.
All right, that's it... what? What, what?
Jake is here,
He wants you to stake him a couple hundred grand.
No, he's supposed to be getting me money, not costing me money.
He says we need it. And I gotta say, boss,
- this guy's pretty sharp, you know? - Look at me, look at me.
- You're getting a crush on him? - What are you talking about?
Don't let him get into your head, 'cause he's a charmer.
You tell him to wait a minute and then you bring him in.
He's right behind you.
Get outta here. Get outta here.
You're starting to scare me, sport. Harlin!
200K? Isn't that more than you owe me?
Jake: You're just gonna have to trust me on this, all right?
Oh, no. You're a day late on trust.
I think that what he's trying to say is that he'Il...
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
You brought her for a reason, didn't you, booster?
Let's listen to her.
No, why don't you listen up?
Even though I'm running the show for you,
I'm still running the show.
So we're gonna put an end to
the scooter- junior-skippy-sport- tiger-booster bullshit.
The name is Jake.
What do you say you get the ADD under control?
You look me in the eye when I'm talking to you.
- What's your name, honey? - Her name is Lily.
Booster, have I ever referred to you as honey?
Have I, scooter?
It's a common mistake that Jake is making when he says ADD.
What he really means is ADHD,
for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, see?
The important word is the H,
Hyperactivity. I don't understand,
why do you let her do that if you care about her?
It's poison, see?
Feel my heart.
Go ahead. I bet it beats twice as fast as yours.
- Go on feel it. - I'm fine, thanks.
Oh, come on. Will you feel my heart? I'm not gonna bite you.
God, you feel good.
Like a trip-hammer, right?
See? Much faster...
than yours.
Why am I enjoying this
so much, Jake?
Because
I feel like she is
too.
I'm sorry, I know that was tasteless, dear.
I was just trying to make a point to Jake, okay?
What do you say you get your ADD under control,
and we get to the fucking point?
Ooh, I think Jake is referring to my medication,
which I thought was confidential.
Jacob, come on, come on.
You know why I take that stuff.
Because if I don't, I become hyper,
or primitive, right? Or impulsive.
You never know when I'm going to lose it.
Now listen to me, okay?
Hey!
I'm not a violent man.
I like to think I am above that, right?
You took my money and now you're asking for more.
And I'm gonna give you... I'm gonna give you what you're asking for,
- which is, how much? Tell me again. - 200.
200, how much is that altogether?
Including what you took from me the first time?
350.
Oh, that's very good, you're smart, aren't you?
You told me you were smart. You're a smart, smart, smart guy!
So be smarter, huh?
Don't get hurt. Don't scare me.
You've got a good, healthy, long life ahead of you.
I like you, now say, "We're set."
- "We're set." - Say it like you like me too.
Come on, you can do it.
Say, "we're set" like you like me.
We're set.
Okay, now I want you to take your lovely,
lovely lady home.
Oh my God, you're beautiful.
Let's go.
Don't you ever, ever
let anyone stand behind me, without me knowing.
You hear me? You understand me?
Man: So the King gave you the money.
Jake: Now, we just needed to find our guy in Price's bank.
Jake: What you're looking for in a mark
is someone whose weaknesses you can exploit.
Michelle Strigo, loan officer.
Jake: Guy like me, people like that,
I tell you what you're looking for without even meeting you.
(woman screams)
You fucking asshole! What the fuck is wrong with you?
You cocksucker!
Jake: It's like a personal ad you wear over your head.
- She's not gonna work. - You sure?
Jay Housler, VP of international finance.
No.
Leon Ashby, VP of corporate loans.
What you're looking for in a mark is someone who has nothing to lose.
No friends. No family. No life.
You're looking for a guy who doesn't own a rug.
Jake: Oh yeah, he's perfect.
- Miles: You sure? - Hey, I'm sure.
Ashby was the right mark.
Now I needed to see if Lily was the right shill, so I tested her.
One watch engraved, "To Carolyn,
Happy Graduation Counselor, Love, Mom and Dad."
- Good. - One bracelet engraved,
"To Annie, Happy 25th Anniversary, Love, Tom."
- Perfect! - I'll be right back, Mr. Lewis.
- Okay, thank you.
Excuse me, I think you have something on hold for me.
- Do you have a ticket? - I lost it but the name is Hanson.
- Okay - Thanks a lot.
- Mr. Lewis, right? - Yes?
- Jake Hanson. I go to Law School with your daughter Carolyn.
- We met a couple of times, before. - Oh, of course, Jake!
- It's good to see you again. - Good to see you too.
You remember... Lily!
This beautiful woman is my wife.
Lily, this is Carolyn's father.
- Oh, nice to meet you. - Pleasure, I'm sure.
So, what brings you down from Stanford?
Taking advantage of the long weekend?
- Yeah, we're... - It's our first anniversary!
Congratulations! That's great.
Carolyn is down for the weekend too.
- Really? - Mm-mm, yeah.
Maybe you can do me a favor then.
We split the cost on a couple of books, last semester,
and I never got an opportunity to pay her back,
- I'll just write you a check. - There's nothing for Hanson.
If we had a ticket, I could check the computer.
But yesterday, my wallet
and my wife's purse were stolen, and the ticket was in my wallet.
Maybe, you could check again.
Jesus, where did this happen?
We're staying at the Peninsula,
I think it might have been the housekeeping staff.
But Jake has a little more faith in humanity than I do.
He hates me saying it, but I think it's true.
You have to be so careful these days.
You sure do.
Honey, I'm just gonna go
and pick out a wallet. It was nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. - There you are Mr. Lewis.
- Good. - I'm sorry, sir, still nothing.
- May I ask what it was? - It's a shame, it was
a pair of... a pair of diamond earrings.
Actually, it's just like those.
- We have those in stock. - Oh great.
- Let me write you a check - Only with the proper ID.
Yeah, I understand that but like I just explained to you,
my wallet was...
this is sort of a very special day for my wife and I,
it being our first anniversary.
She thinks we're here to pick up something for my mother,
but I wanted to surprise her with something special.
So if you think you can make an exception today,
- just this one time. - I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Please, tell Carolyn I said hello and pass the note for her.
- I sure will. - It was good to see you again.
Good to see you.
Look, Jake,
why don't you write me a check,
and let me put the earrings on my credit card?
Is that all right with you?
If you'd be willing to do that, that would be great.
Good. Please.
- Mr. Lewis, thanks again. - You bet, Jake.
Happy Anniversary.
All right? Now that's how you pull a con.
So smile like you just got a present from the man of your dreams.
Thank you!
You're welcome, now let's give it a strong finish, all right?
He's gone.
- Oh yeah. - I gotta go get a haircut.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey guys, good to see you, man.
What's up, boss?
- Right here. - That's good.
- What are you having? - I'm gonna go light,
I'm gonna get the chicken and rib combo.
That's light?
Yeah, I'm not getting the coleslaw.
So, what's good here?
- Who the fuck are you? - Special Agent Gunther Butan.
- Special agent? - I'm looking for Jake Vig.
- Who? - Who? The invisible man.
The specter, the spook, the ghost.
But then the other day, like a gift,
a buddy of his, a crew member,
Alphonse Moorely...
you know Alphonse Moorely. He wakes up with a hole in his head.
Look, Special Agent... what's your name?
- Butan! - I got a pretty good sense of humor
- like most people. - Really, you've a sense of humor?
- Yeah, I do. So if this is some kind of a fucking joke,
- I'm not into this shit! - A joke?!
A couple of years ago, I'm working undercover on a case
that Jake Vig is involved with. He's running some sort of scam
importing merchandise for some guy in Tampa.
And I got close, real close, and he knew it.
In order to let me know, and to rub it in,
he sent me this tie. Since then, I've been following him,
from Chicago to Denver to Salt Lake City,
to Phoenix and I've been wearing this tie ever since,
because it keeps me motivated.
That's a real nice tie. I don't know if it says, "Special Agent."
You know what it says? It says,
"You can't catch me, so fuck you. So fuck you."
- And fuck you! - Hey!
Temper's a sign of weakness. Temper's a sign of weakness.
Hey man, can we get you a glass of water?
I'm working at this temper management issue.
My doc says I should stay calm,
because I might do or say something
- that I might regret later. - Look, Special Agent...
- sell one drug dealer's drugs to another drug dealer?
Hey, hey, can you put that away?
- Wow! - Hey, hey, hey...
Butan: Let's take a walk. Let's go for a walk.
Now here is the deal...
You guys are gonna help me catch Jake Vig. Whatever he's into next,
you guys are gonna be into. And whatever you're into, I'm into.
This fucking gun is killing my back.
In exchange, I'm gonna make sure you guys are cleared
of any past associations with Vig
as part of a cross-departmental investigation,
and that home movie I got, I'll make sure
that it doesn't move its way into Internal Affairs.
Who knows? This prick has been on the wish list so long,
you two guys, might even get a promotion.
What the fuck are you getting out of all this?
Peace of mind.
I might even get a chance to get rid of this fucking tie!
Why are you looking at me that way, Lloyd?
Not everybody is on the take.
If you Feds are so hot for this guy,
why don't you just let us go out? We'll bring him in, that's it.
A fox isn't a fox until he's caught in the henhouse.
- Oh nice. What is that, an analogy? - A metaphor.
Actually, it's neither but it is a good deal.
You guys go clean, I get peace of mind,
and better yet, Lloyd's daughter gets to keep her braces,
and have that winning smile, just like her daddy.
One more thing,
you guys can't be running around with heroin in your car.
Jake: Let me tell you something about Butan.
He's just as crooked as the next guy.
You'd think he'd have something better to do with taxpayer dollars.
Well, cue the fucking violins.
Come on, man, it's getting cold out here.
Jake: It was all in play. Everything!
And with a little luck, we're about to land the mark.
- Where the hell is she? - I have no idea.
- She's 10 minutes late. - Jake: Luck's a funny thing.
- Especially the bad. - She's nice.
Black cats, breaking a mirror,
- breathe on a match. - (doorbell rings)
- It's about time. - Believe it.
Believe it all. But if you really want to talk about bad luck,
redheads.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Shit.
Top three all time worst redheads:
Lizzie Borden, axe murderer;
Judas, betrayer;
Shirley Vig,
abandoner.
Nice to see you too.
Do you have any idea what you've done?
Any idea?
What is with the hair?
What? You told me to change it.
Jake: But the fucking grand poohbah of all jinxes,
a bird in your house.
A bird enters your house, it means death.
What about this then? What's with the scarf with the birds?
I mean, do you know what that means? Do you know what that means?
You have just put a mother of a jinx on us.
- Gordo, can you believe this? - Gordo: Oy vey.
We're dead. We're dead.
Did I miss something, guys?
Sweetheart, it's the red hair. It's bad luck.
Miles: It's not like she's a real redhead, Jake.
Look, it doesn't matter, all right?
You can't fool bad luck, you can't get by on a technicality.
You can't trick karma.
You just fucked us.
So much for that good feeling, huh?
That's what I get for putting a chick on the team, right?
Gordo. Burn that.
Lupus! Think fast. Lily, hold on a second, will you?
Excuse me. Is this seat taken?
- No. Please. - Thanks.
Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry I'm late, but I'm not that late.
You didn't have to give away my seat.
I didn't know you were coming.
- I didn't know. Sorry. - No problem.
Thanks for playing along. I had to sit down for awhile.
- Tough day? - Brutal day.
- What are you drinking? - Maker's Mark, on the rocks.
- His rocks, mine straight up. - You got it.
My name is Leon, Leon Ashby.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I'm overbearing and rude.
Lily. Lily Finn.
- So what do you do? - It's more like, what don't I do?
It's a long story.
Well, we're getting drinks. What happened?
My partners and I are trying to secure start-up capital
for a small tech company.
We tried the venture capitalist route,
but since the bubble burst on dot coms...
You're a few years off the mark. A lot of bubbles were burst.
Yeah.
Optimists that we are, we thought we'd try our luck
with a straight corporate loan.
- There you go. - Thank you.
- Oh, no, no, I can get this. - On me. For the seat.
Chin-chin.
So we've been meeting with banks all day.
It's amazing how many ways they can say no
without ever actually saying the word.
Typically, a corporate loan is a fairly simple matter.
But you do have to demonstrate a capacity for gross fund recovery.
Let me guess,
your bubble didn't burst.
No, no, nothing like that. I work in a bank.
Really?
I wish we'd met eight hours ago.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Oh, my partners are here.
We have dinner plans.
Oh, well, uh...
- thank you for the drink. - Oh, you're welcome.
I was just going to ask if you'd like to join us.
- Sure. - Okay.
Jake: So she got one leg out from under him, now we had to lean.
So then Miles, God bless him, he walks right into
the fucking Creative Director's office and he says,
"I'm sorry this program is for shit."
No, no. And then he throws like a thousand pages of code
- all over the fucking guy's office! - Jake: This is our boss, all right?
So he kicks Miles and I out of the office, he's screaming and yelling,
"You're fired. Your whole fucking team is fired."
Now he's looking for Lily, he's looking for Lupus,
- and of course he can't find Gordo. - Miles: That's the best part.
He cannot find Gordo, okay? So what happens?
- He finally finds... - Whoa, whoa, whoa...
- you don't have to tell this part. - He's in the bathroom.
So he kicks down the stall room door,
and starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
And there's Gordo,
his pants around the ankles,
"PC World" mag in hand, and he's punching the cloud.
I'm sorry.
Spanking. Frankly, I was spanking.
And it was a fucking traumatizing event,
because I haven't been able to use a public restroom since that day.
Me neither.
I swear to God.
Gordo's got some issues. He's got some issues.
And let's not forget,
the great thing that did come from that day was we said, "Enough!"
That's the day we started our own business and said goodbye
- to shithead bosses. So... - Hear, hear.
Leon: I really admire you guys taking a chance like that.
Lily: Leon here works at a bank. What bank did you say it was?
Price Trust.
No shit, really?
Talk about shithead bosses. Now that's gotta be a trip.
- What's he like to work for? - Oh, you know. He's okay.
- Really? - Oh, come on!
Well, he's a...
he's just a fucking shithead. What can I tell you?
So what do you do over there at Price?
I'm the VP in charge of corporate loans.
Wow.
We haven't met anyone of your level before.
VP.
Wait, so that means it's you and then the P.
Give that man a Nobel Prize. Well done.
- Genius. - Yes, that's right.
Jake: Here's where a little research comes in handy.
Corporate banks give out VP titles like calendars.
It's a small lie, but now we're sure he's playing.
Then maybe you can help explain to us what's so difficult
- about getting a corporate loan? - Well, normally, nothing.
But a tech firm right now?
People are really scared.
Jake: People are scared because they lack vision.
Present company excluded, of course.
Leon: A bank does need to know where its money's gonna come from.
That is true.
Jake: We know where we're getting our money back from.
But therein lies our Catch-22.
I don't follow.
- Well... - Jake, come on.
No, it's all right.
Leon here is one of the good guys.
Right?
Jake: Now what I'm gonna tell you is in complete confidence.
It does not leave this fucking table.
- Sure. - Fine.
You know how the dot commers did what they did, right?
In what way?
How they made their money.
Essentially, they start with an idea,
shop it around town, raise a little capital,
and then sold it to a bigger company,
like a Microsoft or an Oracle or an Intel. You know, whatever.
That's half right there.
The beauty of it was, they sold it before the thing was even real.
So you've got the bigger company already set up to buy the thing.
They just want to see that it works.
So these guys go out, get some start-up capital, make it work,
and then sell for five or six times the initial loan.
They're delicious.
- But you need a letter of intent. - Exactly.
And that's our Catch-22.
We can't really go out and talk about it,
because if it's public, potentially we start a bidding war,
and that's considered a breach of etiquette. Kills the deal.
However, we wait too long, and we're not considered hot anymore.
And you have this letter of intent?
Jake: Yes we do.
We're applying the dot com model to a different product.
Yeah.
But the dot coms failed.
- Yeah, but that's only... - No, with all due respect.
It...
That's going to be a really tough sell.
I mean, you guys have a real battle on your hands.
- That's bullshit. - Lupus.
Look, sorry, Mr. Ashby.
I didn't mean anything. But I just don't think
you can argue with the success of the business model.
It was really an overextension of the model
to what turned out to be a limited consumer demand
that caused the dot com collapse.
Now, applied to a proper product, with a solid consumer base,
the model still holds up.
He may be right.
Jake: Let me be straight with you, all right?
We're this close to cutting somebody in on the action,
if they'd be willing to help.
We just need to find somebody with some balls.
- Shall we order another round? - Yeah.
Jake: Lupus, nice save in there. I'm very impressed.
Poor bastard never knew what hit him.
Jesus Christ, I almost felt sorry for the guy.
I gotta go work off some of this adrenaline.
I have an in on a card game with some Hollywood studio dipshits.
- Anybody want a piece? - I'm going home.
- I'll go. Jake? - No, I'm good.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Oh, Lupus, you should come. You're gonna love these guys.
Bunch of fucking knobs.
Hey, Lupus.
When this is all over,
you'll let us know who the King put on Big Al, right?
You gonna have time?
I'll find the time.
You want to go, don't you?
For a couple hundred bucks? Not interested.
You'd do it for free.
You're almost drooling. You like the rush.
It's not about the rush. It's just a job. It's what I do.
Your mother not breast-feed you or something?
You asking me if I got something to prove?
- Do you? - Not in that repressed anger way.
I get the feeling you could've bullshitted your way into anything.
- Why this? - I'm good at it.
Lying, cheating, manipulating.
It all came very naturally to me.
No, it's more than that.
The thrill of it? I mean, didn't you find it exciting tonight?
The way you were working that guy Ashby...
flirting, giving him your sweet little smile,
brushing up against him, occasionally touching him,
I have a feeling you were getting off on that tonight.
All I did was smile and shake my ass.
Yeah, but you did it very well.
Soon enough you'll have more to do
and I have a feeling you'll be good at that too.
How do you know?
Intuition.
- She had you tempting fate. - My old man and his buddies
from work used to play the same lotto numbers every week.
I mean the same numbers for 16 years.
One day he gets pissed, decides he's going to play his own number.
They then hit the Lucky Seven for 3.5 million without him.
That's fate for you.
I guess he passed on that unlucky asshole gene.
Turn around.
You should have trusted me, Jake.
Yeah, apparently so.
Everything looks in order.
Jake: You know, Leon, we're going to have to move quickly here.
I know. It won't go unnoticed.
What's this?
Jake: Let's call that a convincer.
We're going to need to slow down a bit.
You're worried about recouping the loan, we got the letter of intent.
No, it's... I understand that.
What I'm trying to...
what I mean to say is...
what I'm wondering about is...
is my cut.
Jake: And there it is. Ashby gets the itch.
- 2%. - Lily: Of five million.
We're gonna make it back three or four times over.
By the time anyone catches on, the loan's already been repaid.
You didn't do anything wrong except speed things up.
Jake: All you need to do for your cut, is put some paperwork through,
push a button tomorrow.
Man: Yeah, but there were other factors.
Yeah, factors that weren't clear to me until now.
What do you got?
We got jack shit.
I'm not a confrontational man by nature,
but you guys are gonna have to start working with me.
We haven't heard from Vig. We don't know if he wants
to cut us in on this shit he's got going down with the King.
Maybe you two guys need to be a little more pro-active, Lloyd.
You gotta make him think you're gonna keep me off his back.
And for that he's gonna cut you in
on whatever he's got going with King. You got that?
Omar, you got it?
Flight's booked to Belize.
Almost home.
Got to get you home to pack. Get ready for your trip tomorrow.
Can you picture me with a drink with the umbrella in it?
Little sunscreen on the nose.
- Hey, Jake! - Back off! Back off!
- Whoa, whoa! - Take it easy! Jesus!
What, the tip not work out for you guys?
Tip worked out fine, we're just a little curious about the Fed.
Hey look, you don't pay your fucking taxes...
Get the fuck back! Back up!
Special Agent Gunther Butan. That ring a bell?
Gunther? No, I think I would remember a Gunther.
- Let me jog your memory a little. - Jesus! Fuck!
Gunther Butan, you say?
I think I might know this guy.
Yeah, well he's in town and he sure as shit remembers you.
What are we gonna do about this Jake?
We can't afford having a Fed onto us like this.
I wouldn't dream of that.
Fuck, man!
The way we look at it, Jake, you have
a limited window of opportunity here before he catches up to you.
But I got good news for you, okay? You got us.
We're your white knights. We're gonna keep him off your back.
And we get a piece of whatever you got going down with the King.
And don't argue with me 'cause I got a lot of pent-up aggression.
Say something stupid if we got a deal, Jake.
Something stupid.
Don't leave town, brother.
- Funny. - Oh fuck.
Have a nice day, Officers.
How did we do?
We did exactly like you said.
I have complete faith in you, Lloyd.
Lupus: Why's this guy so hard up for you?
You're not exactly a threat to national security.
We go way back.
Jake: A few years ago we were working in Tampa for a local goon.
Turns out this mutt was being watched by the Feds,
which now meant we were being watched by the Feds...
one in particular... Agent Gunther Butan.
We were just overseeing some creative importing,
so he really didn't have anything on us.
But I figured, maybe this guy's good for a fix.
Our guys in the LAPD, give them $20,
they'll look the other way on a parking ticket.
Maybe you'll get yourself a new tie with that.
But a Fed? You get a guy like that as your fix...
It was probably a stupid idea. There I was Armani and Rolex.
There he is, JC Penny and Timex.
So I took a shot.
Now he had me on attempted bribery of a Federal Agent.
So that's how Gunter Butan and I became friends.
- Butan... shit. - Here.
So what? We just stay clear of him.
I don't think so. I think we gotta walk.
Wait a minute. We can handle this. Come on.
No. Not this time.
I say we walk.
Wait. Take it easy for a second.
I'm not gonna take it easy. 'Cause you don't know this guy.
He's gonna be all over us like white on rice.
There's no shaking him and you know it.
So we change the scam a little.
There is no more fucking scam.
I got a sign on my back now.
I can't leave town and then show up with a suitcase full of money.
- It's over. The gig is up. - Gordo: Jake, Jake.
The skirt's got a point. All you have to do is tweak it a bit.
It over. That's it. You gotta know when to walk away.
And you guys are too careless with the money. Gordo with the cars.
- You with the strippers. - They call themselves dancers.
They call themselves dancers, huh? What about Big Al?
Did that not fucking register with you?
Remember seeing him sitting there with a bullet hole in his head?
That doesn't mean anything?
You're being such a raving pussy.
I mean, pull yourself together, for Christ's sake.
Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Sweetheart, we fucked once, okay?
That does not entitle you a voice in this room.
And don't think I didn't know you weren't working some angle, either.
Easy, Jake. That's a lady.
Everyone's working an angle, right?
There are three people I trust in this world,
those two guys on the couch and a dead guy.
You, I don't know you. You're like a stray dog
that wandered into my house one day looking for a belly rub.
So why don't you just go back to wherever it is you came from?
You don't have anybody looking for you.
Not the King, not Butan, not Price.
So just cut loose of this. It is over.
- What about... - What about what?
What about the money?
There it is. That little itch you need to scratch.
Always about the money.
What do you want? You want an apology?
No. I want my cut.
Take a deep breath, count to 10,
and try and get it through your thick skull, there is no cut.
You're an asshole.
So that's it, huh?
That's it. We're closing up shop.
You guys know what to do, right?
Jesus Christ, Jake, I can't believe you're gonna just...
Miles.
Man: So much for honor among thieves.
You were going to cut loose your friends, your girl...
What the fuck are you talking about?
I was doing it for them. I was trying to protect them.
Bullshit. You weren't doing it for them. You were scared.
Come on, admit it. You lost your nerve and you lost your confidence.
You weren't trying to be noble.
You weren't trying to save anyone but your goddamn self. Admit it.
You got no idea what you're talking about.
- It's not true. - It is fucking true.
They were right there for you! She was right there for you.
Look at her. I fucking said look at her!
She trusted you, and you sold her out.
Now I want you to look at her,
and I want you to tell her.
Be a fucking man. You be honest.
You tell her.
You tell her that you loved her,
but the fucking money meant more to you.
Fucking grifters, man.
Gentleman's racket, my fucking ass.
Just another low-life scammer looking out for number one.
Get the fuck up!
Lupus: The King ain't gonna like this.
He had a real thing with getting this Price guy.
If you ask me, I think he's jealous.
- Of what? They're both crooks. - They actually grew up
in the same neighborhood. King talks about it all the time.
How come he's always humping it out,
while Price gets to walk around in three-piece suits,
hobnob with movie stars, own a bank, that type of shit.
Next to Price, the King is still small time and he's pissed off.
A point, Lupus. Give us a point.
I don't give a shit if he thinks he's a pimple on Price's ass.
He wouldn't piss on my face if my teeth were on fire.
That's nice. Interesting imagery.
Look at that. The size of a cigar, right?
You know why I got that? The King asked me for a four-shot one day.
That's four-shots of espressos.
Turns out we only have enough coffee for a three-shot.
So I'm thinking, maybe I'm doing him a favor.
And before he even comes picks it up,
he's screaming at me like I just hit on his mother!
I assume this is going to lead to some kind of point.
This is what I get for bringing him the wrong fucking cup of coffee,
imagine what he's going to do to you.
Jake: I have to admit, he did have a point.
There was no way the King was going to let us slide.
Yeah, so we were back on.
After you cut her loose?
Which was apparently my mistake.
How'd you know we'd still go through with it?
I know you, Jake.
And I know how to take care of myself.
Morgan Price, please.
Yeah, I'd be interested in that.
Why don't you give me an address
and I'll send over a car?
And you and I can discuss the particulars of your proposal.
No.
I come to you and I only deal with you.
It was a smart play.
She handed me to you on a silver platter.
Silver platter? Motherfucker, let me tell you a story.
That's an exciting story. Travis,
anybody ever try something like this before?
Not that I can recall.
And how much did you say you wanted for this finder's fee?
10%.
I studied under a Nobel Laureate of Economics at Cambridge
and I think even she'd say 10 was high.
I don't give a fuck if you studied at Marice's Academy of Wig Design.
You're lucky I'm even here.
- 10 is standard. - Okay.
Travis, see if you can get him to tell you how he did it.
Or almost did it.
Sounds like a good story.
Oh, I'll get it.
Come on, what happened today?
Today? Today started off great.
Jake: Ashby was going to call us with the exact time of the transfer.
The King was waiting on us.
Just to be safe, Gordo was boarding the plane instead of me.
I needed Manzano and Whitworth to keep Butan off our backs.
So I had to stay in town and cut them in on the deal.
So they waited for my call while Miles and I waited for Ashby.
She should be landing right about now.
That Customs guy is ready, right?
I feel lucky today, Miles. Real lucky.
Found a penny, heads up.
And I got rid of the redhead.
Yeah. We got rid of the redhead.
Jake?
Customs?
They say a good chess player can see up to 20 moves deep.
That means in some games you've calculated every move in your head.
The game's over, even before it's really started.
Like a game of chess, same with a con.
You have to see that deep.
- Yeah? - Ashby,
- It's Vig. - Jake, yeah.
It's going through...
right... now.
Good.
And with the push of a button, all the pieces were in play.
Gordo? It's all good. Do it.
First and goal.
Hi there.
I'd like this cashed, please.
Receptionist: Mr. Ashby?
Mr. Thompson from international calling. He has a 34-R
on a corporate account in Belize.
That's probably just a new account marker, I'II...
Jake: To ensure we weren't going to welch,
Ashby's cut was transferred into his own offshore account.
Tell you what. I am going to lunch.
You tell him I'll call him back later.
Jake: We called them the Green Twinkies.
We got Twinkies.
Gordo, that's outstanding. Good work.
Lupus, we got the money.
I don't believe this.
Gordo's flying back with it now.
So we'll head on over to the bar, meet up with everybody there.
I sent Miles to the airport to wait for Gordo to land.
Everything was going as planned.
Gordo?
Gordo, do me a favor. Just use the bathroom on the plane, all right?
Gordo? Gordo!
Guy's walking around with $5 million cash
and he's going to stop to use a public bathroom at the airport?
Un-fucking-believable.
That guy's got a serious problem.
You're telling me.
Here's where I got stupid, here's where I got that big fucking itch.
What? I got something on me?
I'm going to be straight with you, Lupus.
I don't think we could've gotten this far without you.
So I got a little proposition for you.
A way for us to clear the whole five million.
Now think about that, five million split four ways.
You want in?
- What do I have to do? - All right.
Yeah, it's Vig.
I'm gonna need an escort. Not a ride, just an escort.
Ontario Airport. Look for Gordo.
He's going to be carrying a black Nike duffel bag.
- You guys take care of Butan? - Don't worry. We got him covered.
All right, good.
That was him. There's a shipment coming in this afternoon.
Ontario Airport.
We're going to give Mr. Jake Vig the surprise of a lifetime.
- FBI Agent Rosen speaking. - Artie. Butan.
Yeah. Ontario Airport this afternoon. Come heavy.
All we need you to do is call the King. Tell him it's all good.
Get the King off of our backs.
Yeah, boss, it's me, Lupus.
You were right. He's trying to fuck you.
- What? - Vig's trying to fuck you.
Police escorts are going to pick up the money.
I knew it, I knew it... I should have listened to my instinct.
Shit! How do we get the money now?
You gonna have to take it in the airport.
The guy he's got a black Nike duffel bag on wheels.
He's got this thing with bathrooms.
If he makes it through Customs he'll be heading for the john.
That's good. We'll get him with his pants down.
You'll take care of scooter once we get the money.
Maybe Gordo's got it right.
Maybe we're all just looking for a safe place to shit.
That's cute.
Very cute.
What about all that bullshit at the bar?
About your three-shot, four-shot espresso sob story?
Showing me your little boo-boo. What was all that fucking shit?
That? I got that at a barbecue, grilling halibut.
- Lloyd: You trust this Butan guy? - I don't trust anybody.
Lloyd: I'm so sick of listening to this douche bag's shit.
I swear to fucking God.
If my kid's teeth weren't so fucked up,
I'd love to walk up to that dude and take that gay hat of his
and shove it right up his ass on principle.
You see how bad this guy wants Vig?
It's like a sickness.
I say we collar him ourselves. That way we got Vig,
we got leverage and we trade.
Vig for the tape.
This is Butan. You guys awake?
Yeah, we're here.
Okay, stay sharp.
- Be right back. - Is this it?
This it, Harlin?
Motherfucking no brains, this one has.
Jake: So Lupus. What do you do now?
You go back to fetching coffee for the King?
Don't worry about me. Stop trying to fuck with my head.
Okay, I got him.
He's heading towards the east exit.
Do not under any circumstances apprehend.
I want you to follow him all the way down to Vig's.
- Roger that. - We got that jerkoff. Let's go.
Keep your pants on. He just went into the crapper.
Jake: Let's say Gordo doesn't make it through Customs.
You're gonna be just as fucked as we are.
- You think about that? - Not for nothing, Jake,
but the guy who whacked your buddy?
It was me.
The King usually farms out for that kind of stuff,
but he was so pissed off at you he couldn't wait for the regular guy.
The fucker didn't even put down the kung pao chicken.
Oo-ooh, shit!
Come on. Stand up.
- What? - Stand the fuck up!
Jake, no offense, but I've seen you fight.
You gotta be kidding me.
Okay, they pulled a switch.
Black man, brown suit. Big.
Hey, asshole.
- (police sirens blare) - Lloyd: Keep 'em up nice and high.
Lloyd: What the...
- Don't fucking move. - Freeze!
- Freeze!
Put your weapon down!
We're LAPD!
- Get down on your knees. - We're fucking cops.
LAPD, man. Look at this, come on.
- On the curb! - Face forward! All the way down!
Hands on your head.
Hands outside where we can see them.
Bring him out. Nice and easy. Turn around.
Can I make a suggestion?
Take these cuffs home and use them on your wife. You'll like it.
I like it tight, but not that tight. How about you?
- Let's go. - Oh.
Look what we got here.
Heroin. Two keys.
We're good.
He's good. He's good.
- He who? - You gotta like it.
Officers Manzano and Whitworth,
Agent Artie Rosen,
Federal Bureau of Investigations.
How hard do you think it is to sell one dealer's drugs to another?
Don't fucking say anything!
(cell phone ringing)
Yeah.
The King just got pinched with the bag.
Okay.
What happened?
- He got caught. - What?
Fucking King just got us all pinched.
Oh shit! What do I do? What the fuck...
Lupus, just calm down. Lupus!
(gunshot)
- I never thanked you for that. - No problem.
Can we all stop being so fucking polite and get to the point?
That's right, where's the fucking money, Jake?
What do you get out of this? A fucking finder's fee?
It's all about the money, isn't it?
Fuck you. You sold me out.
You sold me out huge. You should have trusted me,
like I trusted you. You fucked up. You fucked up huge.
All right, all right, now you turn the fuck around.
The only way you're gonna live is if you get me my fucking money!
Now where the fuck is it?
I'm gonna ask you one more time before your brains hit the ground.
Where is my money?
Probably in the hands of the Federal Government.
You know Jake, you...
you really fucking disappoint me, Jake.
You just let Lily down here again, too.
What was that you were saying about playing the big con,
it's like putting on a big play, and everybody knows their part?
I guess some people forgot their fucking lines.
- Yeah, I guess so. - You guess so?
So why don't you just take a deep breath, Jake,
and I'm gonna count to 10.
One, two...
three, four, five...
- I do trust you, Lily. - Six, seven...
- (gunshot) - Travis: Oh, shit! What the...
- Trust... - Did you kill him?
- Should be a four-letter word.
I don't know.
Don't do that shit while I'm standing right here!
You get the fuck away from me. Get the fuck out of here! Now!
So I'm dead. But can I really blame Lily?
Should I just have trusted her? Who knows?
Sooner or later, someone's gonna start asking the right questions.
The Feds would want to know
why were they sent in to just bust a couple of crooked cops.
Manzano and Whitworth would ask
how the drugs got into that duffel bag.
The King and Price would ask, where their money really went.
And everyone would ask, what agency was it that
Special Agent Gunther Butan really worked for?
You need a ride?
Hey.
How'd it go?
Smooth.
The guys we have in the LAPD,
give them $20 and they'll look the other way on a parking ticket.
Maybe you'll get yourself a new tie with that?
But a Fed, you get a guy like that as your fix...
So what do you got going next?
So that's how Gunther Butan and I became friends.
Look at you. You're still working that crazy tie routine.
I'm partial to it.
You take your cut?
Yeah, I'm good.
Well, where you off to next?
Wherever it is, don't stay too long, you know?
- Stay loose. - Always.
I'd keep the girl.
Sooner or later, all the right questions would get answered.
- Because playing the big con... - What's this?
- Is like putting on a play.
A play where everyone knows their part, except the mark.
Sometimes, Jake, style can get you killed.
And like in a game of chess, you've played every move in your head.
Yeah, boss. It's me, Lupus.
You were right. He's trying to fuck you.
You're a good grifter, man. It's hard to tell when you're lying.
It's hard.
But what do I care? I'm dead.
Nobody's gonna be asking me.
I think you dropped that, baby.
Miles, would you be so kind?
Absolutely.
* The lights go out and I can't be saved *
* Tides that I tried to swim against *
* Have brought me down upon my knees *
* Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing *
* Come out of things unsaid *
* Shoot an apple off my head, and a *
* Trouble that can't be named *
* A tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* Confusion never stops *
* Closing walls and ticking clocks *
* Gonna come back and take you home *
* I could not stop that you now know, singing *
* Come out upon my seas *
* Cursed missed opportunities *
* Am I a part of the cure? *
* Or am I part of the disease? Singing *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* And nothing else compares *
* Oh, nothing else compares *
* And nothing else compares *
* You *
* Are *
* You *
* Are *
* Home, home *
* Where I wanted to go *
* Home, home *
* Where I wanted to go *
* Home, home *
* Where I wanted to go *
* Home, home *
* Where I wanted to go. *