最好的表兄妹
不好 Oh, no.
别又这样啊 Oh, not again.
特朗普只是说出自己的真实感觉而已 Trump just says what he feels.
你明白我的意思吗 You know what I'm talking about?
当然了 绝对的 Yeah, totally.
好啊 表哥 Hey, cousin.
你们好啊 Oh, hey, guys.
真难得见到你窝在沙发上 杰夫 Surprised to see you on the couch, Jeff.
才怪 Not!
好吧 你们不是该去约会了吗 Cool. Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be on a date?
我们约了啊 去了一趟射击场 We just were. We went to the range.
唐尼非逼我开枪射击 Donnie made me shoot his gun.
一开始 我很害怕 At first, I was scared,
但之后我很感激他强迫我那么做 but then I was grateful he forced me to do it.
好极了 Cool.
好了 我值夜班要迟到了 所以... All right, well, I'm late for my night watch shift, so, uh...
等你老婆睡着了给我打电话哦 Call me after your wife goes to sleep.
再见 Bye.
快到妈咪嘴里来 Ooh, come to Mommy.
唐尼还是不知道你抽大麻的事吗 Does Donnie still not know you smoke weed?
他当然不知道了 Of course he doesn't.
我不能牵连唐尼 I can't implicate Donnie.
他是执法机关的人啊 He's an officer of the law.
放屁 少胡扯 No, he's not.
他只是负责志愿性邻里监督而已 He runs a volunteer neighborhood watch.
你整天就知道黑别人 You're just a perma-hater
因为你从高中毕业后就没打过炮了 'cause you haven't gotten laid since high school.
让我把你挂上约炮神器"爱神"吧 Just let me put you on OkCupid.
不行 我讨厌现代人把"射交"当成"社交" No, I hate that it's the only way people meet nowadays.
我生错了时代 You know, I was born in the wrong decade.
生错了时代 我懂的 Born in the wrong decade. I know.
-真的 -我好讨厌你每次这么说 - Well, I was. - I hate when you say that.
那个 让我... You know what? Let me--let me--
我来开下邮件 我得关一下我的... Um, I'll open my mail, and I got to close my--
杰夫 Jeff!
这他妈都第三次了 This is the third time.
你已经弄坏第三台电脑了 This is the third computer you've broken.
你他妈是哪根筋坏了 What is wrong with you?
嘿 对不起啦 Hey, I'm sorry!
超恶心的 It's disgusting.
现在商品质量差又不是我的错 It's not my fault everything's shitty
都是血汗工厂生产的 and made in sweatshops nowadays
喷了点"精华液"在上面就坏了 and breaks if a drop of jizz hits it.
瞄准点 杰夫 或者别在我电脑旁边打飞机 Aim, Jeff, or do it away from my computer.
没高清黄片 鸡巴软绵绵 雪莉 I can't get off without HD porn, Sharee.
高清是如今这年头唯一的好处 It's the only good thing about 2016.
真恶心 别说了 Ew. Please, stop.
不是只有我一个人有这种想法 And I'm not alone in that, you know.
你把我的水牛城辣鸡块吃了吗 Did you eat my buffalo chicken bites?
-没有 -现在你欠我 - No. - Well, now you owe me
水牛城辣鸡块了 你个贱人 buffalo chicken bites, you bitch.
好啦 淡定 Okay. Chill out.
我这就去娃娃连锁店给你买鸡块 I'll go to Wawa and buy you new bites right now.
好啊 去啊 Yeah, we will.
但我脑子抽嗨了开不了车 But I'm too high to drive.
当心 Watch out!
-卧槽 -卧槽 天啊 - Holy shit! - Holy shit! Oh, my God!
天啊 Oh, my God!
我操啊 Fuck!
-有两个人 -他们就那么从天而降 - And then these two people- - They just came out of the sky.
他们就那么 直接坠落在地上 I mean, they fell, like, smack down on the ground.
他们落下来 轻烟环绕 They landed-there was all this smoke,
他们就那么物化了 and they just materialized out of thin air.
简直令人难以置信 It was, like, unbelievable.
听着 我就写下 Look, I'm gonna write down,
"一名白人男子因乱穿马路被撞身亡" "One white male killed, jaywalking."
不过 还有个黑人女的 Again, there was also a black woman.
他们不是乱穿马路 And they weren't jaywalking.
他们真的是从天而降啊 They literally appeared out of the sky.
你们是脑子抽嗨了吧 Are you high?
-绝逼是乱穿马路 警官你说得对 -就是乱穿马路 - Definitely jaywalking, yeah. - They were jaywalking.
完事了 滚吧 We're done. Get out of here.
-天啊 好吧 -好吧 天啊 - God, okay. - Okay, Jesus.
天啊 Oh, my God.
-这是那两个人留下的 -证物啊 - This is from the people. - Evidence!
我叫你们快滚呢 I said get out of here!
-天啊 -妈的 - Jesus! - Jesus Christ.
穿 越 烟 壶
第一集
看上去像是中文啊 Looks like Chinese.
我装了款APP 可以实时翻译语言 I have an app that translates languages in real time.
有意思 "铅笔盒" Huh, "Pencil case."
本该纹"命运"这个意思才对啊 It was supposed to say "Destiny."
我要杀了那个纹身的小婊子 I'm gonna kill that bitch.
没事 你就跟别人说这意思是"命运" Dude, just tell people it says "Destiny."
在他们的图样目录里写的就是"命运" It said "Destiny" in the catalog.
你干脆去除掉这个纹身算了 Actually, why don't you just get it removed?
我就跟别人说这是"命运"的意思 I'm just gonna tell people it's "Destiny."
我就给你提个建议而已 I just gave you that idea.
那对我有特殊意义 It meant something to me.
现在却毫无意义 And now it's meaningless.
瞎讲 意思明明是"铅笔盒"啊 No, it means "Pencil case."
好吧 试试看这个 Okay, just look.
"穿越烟壶" "Time traveling bong."
"抽一次开启时间旅行 "Smoke once to travel.
再抽一次返回现代" Smoke again to return."
你不会以为... You don't think--
我们在大街上捡到的一个烟壶 That this bong we found on the street
竟然是时间机器吗 is a functioning time machine?
不 杰夫 No, Jeff.
我是个美国公民 我可不是傻逼 I'm an American citizen. I'm not an idiot.
我们得试试 We got to try it.
好啊 行啊 Sure, yeah, right.
反正又不是真的 肯定没事 It's not real, so yeah, fine.
-好极了 -没事的 - Great. - That's fine.
如果这不起作用 你会觉得自己像个傻屌 You're gonna feel like a real schmuck pussy if it doesn't work,
-所以... -我可不会因为这个 - so... - I'm not gonna feel like a schmuck pussy
不能带我们时间旅行 就觉得自己是傻屌 if this doesn't make us time travel.
好吧 开始吧 Fine. Go.
天啊 Oh, my God!
这是哪里 这他妈是什么情况 What is this? Oh, oh, what is this shit?
有个巨大的脚印 There's a footprint.
我觉得是恐龙的 I think it's a dinosaur.
抽啊 抽啊 快抽啊 Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke!
-是真的 -天啊 - Oh, it's real. - Oh, my God!
是真的 It's real.
天啊 Oh, God.
-简直太他妈疯狂了 -天啊 - That was insane! - Oh, my God.
我必须打电话告诉唐尼 I have to call Donnie.
什么 不行 What? No!
不行 你不能告诉唐尼 No, no, you can't call Donnie.
他会报告给联调局的 He's just gonna call the FBI
那样他就能升官发财 走上人生巅峰 so he can get a key to the city or some shit.
我们才该联系联调局 或是航天局或警察叔叔 We should call the FBI or--or NASA or the police or--
我也说不清 我们不能拿着这个 I don't know. We shouldn't have this.
你要干什么 What are you doing?
你在开玩笑吗 我要再玩一次 Are you kidding? I'm going again.
雪莉 刚刚是我们人生中最酷的12秒啊 Sharee, that was the coolest 12 seconds of our lives.
不好意思 杰夫 Sorry, Jeff.
我有男朋友 我还有工作 I have a boyfriend, and I have a job.
怎么 你不打算穿越时空吗 What, you're not gonna time travel
就为了你那份赫兹租车公司的破工作吗 because of your shift at Hertz rent-a-car?
雪莉 我们必须玩啊 好好想想吧 Sharee, we have to. Think about it.
任何时代都比这2010年代要好 Anything would be better than the twenty-teens.
我们可以去到任何地方 We could go anywhere!
我们可以去看 图坦卡蒙法老 We could see... King Tut, you know?
我不在乎 I don't care!
我们可以玩得很开心的 就像过去一样 We could have so much fun, Sharee, like we used to have.
听着 如果你不去的话 我一个人去了 Listen, if you don't go, I'm gonna go,
然后你会错过很多精彩的东西 and then you're gonna miss out,
就跟那次你们去唱K时 你晕过去了 like that time you blacked out when you were at karaoke
小甜甜布兰妮来了 他们却没叫醒你 and Britney Spears came in and they didn't wake you up.
别哪壶不开提哪壶 Don't even bring that up.
你他妈提起这事 真是太混蛋了 That is so dick of you to bring that up!
我只是想说 你会错过极其精彩的事 I'm just saying, you're gonna miss out big-time.
我操啊 Fuck!
我们可以立马就回来 对吧 And we can come right back, right?
当然了 我们可以马上就回来 Yes, we can come right back,
就好像时间几乎没动 and it's as if no time has passed.
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
-定了 我去 -好棒 好棒 - Okay, I'm in. - Yes! Yes!
我去 前提是马上就回来 I'm in, as long as we come right back.
好的 我保证 Yes. I promise.
不如我先给赫兹租车公司打个电话 Maybe I'll call Hertz rent-a-car first,
告诉他们 我明天会晚点到 just let them know I'm not coming in tomorrow.
你今天晚上就能回来了啊 You're gonna be back before tomorrow.
就算回不来 谁在乎啊 雪莉 And even if you weren't, who cares, Sharee?
就是傻逼赫兹租车公司而已 It's Hertz rent-a-car.
肯定会很好玩的 会很安全的 It's gonna be really fun. It's gonna be safe.
会很安全 不会出任何事的 It's gonna be safe and chill.
先让我准备下 Just first let me prepare.
准备一下 Let me prepare.
完美 Perfect.
好吧 到底是怎么个工作原理 Okay, so how does this work?
我们为什么会去到恐龙时代啊 Like, why'd we just go to dino times?
我上周才看了《侏罗纪世界》 I saw "Jurassic World" last week.
肯定在我的大脑里留下了深刻的印象 It must have been on my mind.
储存在我大脑的褶皱层里 You know, like, in the folds of my brain?
或许只要我们幻想一下我们想去的地方 Maybe if we visualize where we want to go,
那就能去了 we'll go there.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你知道我想去哪儿吗 You know where I'd love to go?
昔日的好莱坞 Old Hollywood.
简直太迷人了 It is so glamorous.
我觉得我立刻就能融入进去 I feel like I'd fit right in.
好吧 昔日好莱坞 Okay, old Hollywood.
昔日好莱坞 Old Hollywood.
昔日好莱坞 昔日好莱坞 Old Hollywood. Old Hollywood.
昔日好莱坞 Old-Old Hollywood.
昔日好莱坞 Old Hollywood.
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翻译：@少年美剧派
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时间轴：前男友
压制：前男友 被压：@少年美剧派
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该死 这不是昔日好莱坞啊 Ew. This isn't old Hollywood.
女巫 有巫术 Witch! Witchcraft!
阁下 你好 Good--good sire,
我们来自未来 we're from the future.
你是个谎话连篇的女巫 You're a lying witch!
-是啊 -没错 - Yeah! - Yes!
不 我们不是 No, no! No, we're not.
我可以证明 I can prove it.
我们来自2016年 We're from 2016.
那是恶魔的把戏 A trick most satanic!
拜托 别这样 Hey! Come on!
天啊 我他妈才买的新手机 Jesus! That was a new phone!
那个下流的女巫有个小锅 That filthy witch has a tiny cauldron.
-不要 -壮士 - No! - Burly Man!
-我们走 快跑 -走 走 走 - Let's go. Let's go. - Go, go, go, go, go, go.
快抽 快抽 快抽 Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.
-不 -不要 - No! - No!
不要啊 No!
不要啊 天啊 不要啊 No! No! God, no!
-把这女巫烧了 -天啊 - Burn the witch! - Oh, my G--
嘿 你们想干什么 Hey, hey, what are you doing?
-你们要干什么 -住手 - What are you doing? - Stop!
把她从你身边扯开 帅气的陌生人 Taking her away from you, handsome stranger.
我是他表妹 我们刚刚一起来的 I'm his cousin. We just came here together.
闭嘴 你个妖女 Quiet, you crinkum-crankum,
你个肥女巫 you fat witch.
我不是女巫 如果我是女巫 那他就是男巫 I'm not a witch. If I'm a witch, he's a witch.
告诉他们 杰夫 快啊 Tell them, Jeff. Come on.
她说的是真话吗 先生 Does she speak the truth, sir?
你也是撒旦的爪牙吗 Are you also the vicar of Satan?
不是 她是女巫 我可不是 Nope, she's the witch, not me.
-什么 -我看这样就够了 - What? - Good enough for me.
杰夫 你个杀千刀的 Jeff, you fucking--
把她带到霍尔牧师那里去 Take her to Reverend Hale.
壮士 Burly Man!
对不起 I'm sorry.
你叫什么名字 好小伙儿 What is your name, good sir?
杰夫 Jeff.
你这身衣服可真奇怪 What strange garb you wear.
你来自哪里 From where do you hail?
泽西 Uh, Jersey?
杰夫阁下 来自泽西岛 Sir Jeff, the bailiwick of Jersey.
欢迎来到塞勒姆 马萨诸塞州的明珠 Welcome to Salem, the pearl of Massachusetts.
等等 这里是马萨诸塞州吗 Wait, this is Massachusetts?
最新美剧下载 www.ZiMuZu.tv
有谁见到我家小崽子皮特了吗 Has anyone seen my fucking Pete?
讽刺该州喜欢说脏话
绝逼是马萨诸塞州无疑了 Definitely Massachusetts.
天啊 Oh, God.
没什么事吧 杰夫阁下 Is everything all right, Sir Jeff?
没事 Ugh, no.
这不是女巫的小锅 This wasn't the witch's cauldron.
是我的烟壶 是花瓶管 It was my pipe-my vase-pipe.
你可以拿去给玻璃吹制工修一下 杰夫阁下 You could bring it to the glassblower to have it fixed, Sir Jeff.
闭嘴 娘们儿 Silence, woman!
天啊 Ooh, Jesus.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
你可以拿去给玻璃吹制工修一下 杰夫阁下 You could bring it to the glassblower to have it fixed, Sir Jeff.
等等 你们这儿还有玻璃吹制工吗 Wait, you guys have a glassblower here?
那真是太赞了 Ah, that's dope!
赞? "Dope"?
你当然不明白这词是什么意思了 Oh, um, of course you don't understand.
"赞"的意思就是"好" "Dope" Is like "Good,"
很棒 棒呆了 you know, "Chill," "All chill"?
很好 好极了 It's good. It's great.
棒 Chill.
好吧 赞 Well. Dope.
所以我们就把她带到你这儿来了 And so we brought her to you.
天啊 Jesus!
她跟撒旦睡过 She's lain with Satan!
真的 魔鬼的巨根干过她的嘴 Forsooth, the balls of Beelzebub have bounced upon her chin.
肃静 Silence!
如果巫术真的传到了塞勒姆 If witchcraft has come to Salem,
我们一定会将它铲除的 we will stamp it out.
但我们不能听风就是雨 But we must not be hysterical.
我们必须进行科学的试验 调查被指控之人 We must investigate the accused with scientific tests.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
终于有个理智的人了 明逻辑 懂科学 Someone reasonable with logic and--and science.
妈呀 Oh, God!
天啊 God!
-她流血了 -我的奶子 - She bleeds. - Ow, my tit!
只有人才会流血 'Tis a human quality.
我们必须继续试验 We must continue the tests.
如果她活下来了 那她就是女巫 If she survives, then she is a witch.
如果她死了 那就不是 If she dies, then she wasn't.
操啊 Fuck--
天啊 Oh, my God.
水注入这里 烟草放在这里 So water goes in here, tobacco here.
你就这么吸一口... You suck out of here--
对我而言 就是个简单的"嘴上活儿" This will be a quickie blow job for me.
好极了 Great.
太感谢了 Thank you so much.
我该在这里等着吗 还是... Should I wait here, or should I...
恐怕不行 Not probably.
首先我得收集些引火柴生火 First I'll have to gather some dried kindling to start the fire.
然后我还得去布鲁斯特买煤炭 And then I'll have to travel to Brewster to get the coal,
那可能要花半天时间 which could take almost half a day.
然后我还得把炸馅饼的炉子烧火加热 Then I'll have to stoke the fritter furnace.
好吧 那... Okay, um--
周四 我还有个活动 Then Thursday I have a thing.
抱歉 Sorry.
是我们有"活动" We have a thing.
好吧 那么... Okay, well, then--
听我说完 Let me finish!
明白 Gotcha.
大约要两周才能修好 The whole thing could take almost half a fortnight,
但肯定会修得... but it will be done...
十分完美 Expertly.
我也是走投无路 只能信任你了 I'm gonna do what I have to do, which is trust you.
你的牙可真漂亮 You have amazing teeth.
戴了两轮牙套 Two rounds of braces.
什么 What?
就是一种金属产品 Um, metal things
戴在牙齿上 可以矫正牙齿 you put on your teeth to make them straight.
-别担心 -好吧 - Don't worry about it. - Okay.
好吧 那... All right, well--
你能告诉我他们把我表妹带哪儿去了吗 Oh, could you tell me where they took my cousin,
就是 那个女巫 you know, that witch?
别担心她 Don't worry about her.
如果我是你 就趁现在去城里寻欢作乐 If I were you, I'd go to town, have some fun.
她被照顾得很好 She's in good hands.
-再浸猪笼一次 -天啊 - Dunk her again! - Oh, God!
妈呀 不要啊 Oh, God! No!
天啊 Oh, God!
妈呀呀呀 Oh, God!
滚开 你们这些小鬼 Scat, ye devils!
别欺负女巫 Leave the witch alone!
姑娘们 救救我 求你们救救我 Girls, help. Please help me.
姐妹情谊 Girl power.
你好啊 女巫 Hi, witch.
你们能帮我吗 要帮我吗 快来吧 Gonna help me? Gonna help me out? Come on.
实际上 As a matter of fact,
我们希望你能帮助我们 we were hoping you could help us.
我们看上了镇上的一些男人 We have our hearts set on some of the men in town.
我们希望你能给他们施个爱情大魔咒 And we are hoping you could put a spell on them
让他们爱我们 so they would love us.
并且把我的背部治好 And also fix my back.
但如果你只能实现一个愿望的话 But if you can only do one thing,
请务必优先钓男人 definitely the men one.
天啊 我不是女巫 God, I'm not a witch!
如果我是的话 你们不觉得 If I was, don't you think
我会立马逃离你们这破烂小镇吗 I'd fly out of your shitty town?
并且 你们为什么会想跟那些男人在一起 Also, why would you want to be with these guys?
他们太恶心了 They're disgusting.
他们臭死了 口臭严重 They fucking stink-their breath.
天啊 什么时候才有牙膏啊 God, when do you get toothpaste?
所以你治不好我的背吗 So you can't fix my back?
你们站在那个肥女巫旁边干什么 What are you girls doing near the fat witch?
我们在毒打她 先生 Um, we're beating her, sir.
好极了 给我狠狠地打 姑娘们 Good! Put your back into it, ladies.
求你们不要 姐们儿 Please, no. Come on, dude.
抱歉啦 女巫 Sorry, witch.
-抱歉 -抱歉 - Sorry. - Sorry.
你在这儿啊 Oh-ho, there she is!
雪莉 Sharee!
雪莉 是我啊 杰夫 Sharee, it's me, Jeff.
你还好吗 亲 How are you, bae?
天啊 Oh, gosh!
天啊 见到你我好开心 God, I'm glad to see you.
姐们儿 我们成功了 Dude, we did it.
我们穿越时空了 We time traveled.
我们来到15世纪了 We're in the 1400s.
现在是1691年 杰夫阁下 It's 1691, Sir Jeff!
伊利亚斯 Elias!
杰夫阁下 Sir Jeff!
天啊 这里的人可真友好 God, the people here are so friendly.
我说的对吧 瞧瞧这个 Am I right? Look at this.
他们给了我这个领巾和背心 They gave me this cravat and this vest.
我穿着很帅 对吧 I look good, right?
我必须对你坦白 雪莉 I got a confession, Sharee.
我爱这里 I love it here.
对吧 Right?
好棒 来击个掌 Yes, high five.
我真高兴我们穿越了 I'm so glad we did this.
话说 You know what?
谢谢你和我一起穿越 Thank you for doing this with me.
我很高兴我们又一起找乐子了 I'm glad we're finally having fun again together, you know?
对了 姐们儿 这里的食物 Oh, and, dude, the food--
你吃了这种火鸡肉吗 Have you had any of this turkey?
你想吃点吗 Do you want some of this?
天啊 雪莉 Oh, Jesus, Sharee!
天 我不知道你的情况这么糟糕 Dude, I didn't know it was this bad.
*真对不起 I'm so sorry.
我们赶快离开这里 好吗 We're gonna get out of here, okay?
有个玻璃吹制工 There's a glassblower,
我会把那个烟壶修好 and I'm gonna get the bong fixed.
我觉得他一定会修得完美无缺的 I think he's gonna do an amazing job.
雪莉 你真在流血啊 Oh, Sharee, you're really bleeding.
你知道我一看到血就会晕... You know I get faint if I see bloo--
快来观看女巫审判 Witness the trial of a filthy witch!
女巫审判 雪莉 Witch trial? Sharee--
操啊 Fuck!
快来观看女巫审判 Witness the trial of a filthy witch!
该死的 Shit.
我感觉你已经做出决定了啊 You know, it really feels like you've made your decision already.
肃静 Order!
那个浑身发臭的姑娘通过了多重考验 The smelly wench has survived many of our tests,
只有女巫才能活到现在 which only a witch could survive.
但是我们决定 But we have decided
要听听证人的证词 we want to hear witness testimony.
有谁被女巫祸害过 Who here has been afflicted?
-排队 -排你妈逼 - Line up! - Oh, fuck you.
-排成整齐的一队 -操你妈 - Nice and neat. -Fuck you.
我要看到整齐的队伍 I want to see a clean line.
操你妈 Fuck you.
杰夫阁下 Sir Jeff.
我觉得你对我一定会很满意的 I think you'll be very happy with me.
是的 谢谢 Oh, yes, thank you.
那是什么鬼玩意儿 What the fuck is that?
是你的花瓶管啊 杰夫阁下 Why, it's your vase-pipe, Sir Jeff.
看着跟屎一样烂 Looks like shit.
简直烂得跟屎一样 This looks like shit!
你干了什么啊 What did you do?
天 Oh, God!
操你妈 You- Fuck you!
曾经 我的鸡鸡勃起时 When erect, my eavesdropper
达到过两颗麦粒的长度 once scored the length of two barleycorn.
现在 只有5颗罂粟籽排在一起的长度 Now 'tis but five poppy seeds, all lined up.
我觉得是女巫的错 I blame the witch.
跟我没关系 This is not about me.
谢谢你的证词 伊兹卡尔 Thank you for your testimony, Ezekiel.
你可以下去了 You are dismissed.
我想请出最后一位证人 I would like to call our final witness...
杰夫阁下 来自泽西岛 Sir Jeff, the bailiwick of Jersey!
谢谢大家 Thanks.
我们想说... We just wanted to say...
对不起
你能来这里 真是太好了 That having you here has been so tight.
操你妈
因此 我们把我们的主路命名为 As such, we have named our main roadway
杰夫大道 Jeff Street.
我已经做出了决定 I have made my decision.
我在此宣布... I hereby find--
我难道没机会替自己辩护几句吗 Don't I--don't I even get the chance to defend myself?
当然没有了 Of course not.
等等 各位 稍安勿躁 Hold on, guys. Wait, wait, wait.
我觉得她至少该有机会为自己辩护几句 不是吗 I think she should at least be able to defend herself, right?
好吧 Okay.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
我觉得她至少该有机会为自己辩护几句 不是吗 I think she should be at least able to defend herself, right?
好吧 Okay.
我想读一下我写的一份声明 I'd like to read a statement that I've written.
一个会识字写字的女人 A woman who can read and write!
那就是证据 There's the proof.
把这女巫给我烧了 Burn the witch!
不 不 等等 No, no, no, wait!
等等 住手 雪莉 Wait! Stop! Sharee!
我将烧死这个女巫 I put to death this witch.
给撒旦一个警告 May this be a message to Satan.
我们抵制你 We reject ye!
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
我是第一个被女巫祸害的人 I was the first afflicted.
我想亲自点火烧了这个女巫 I want to set the witch aflame.
好啊 行 Okay, cool.
好的 行 Yeah, cool.
女巫烧死啦 Here goes the witch.
巫术是真的!!! Witchcraft is real!
把所有的女人都烧了 Burn all the women!
留下一个生孩子 Keep one for birthing!
天啊 Oh, God!
我救了你一命 I saved you!
你差点害死我 你个混蛋 You almost got me killed, you asshole.
天啊 God.
我找回你的手机了 I found your phone.
我原谅你 I forgive you.
没信号 No service.
我们这是在哪儿 Where are we?
我们 不是在家里 We're--we're not home.
这不是家里 This is not home.
操 Fuck!
那个玻璃吹制工在吹玻璃时 肯定搞坏了烟壶 That glassblower must have messed up the bong when he blew it.
这不是我的错 This is not my fault.
就是你的错 你说过我们可以直接回去的 It is your fault. You said we'd smoke right back.
现在要怎样 烟壶的结构完整性遭到破坏 So now what, the structural integrity of the bong has changed,
我们回不了家了 so we can't get home
也无法控制我们接下来要去的地方 and we have no ability to control where we go,
只能被迫在时空连续区里永远穿来穿去吗 forcing us to bounce around the space-time continuum indefinitely?
我也不知道啊 I don't know.
-是洞穴人 -卧槽 -Cavemen. - Holy shit.
快抽 快抽 快抽 Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.
好的 好的 Okay, okay.
操 都烧光了 Fuck, it's cashed.
你没多带点大麻吗 Didn't you bring more weed?
没 我以为会马上回去呢 No, I thought we'd be right back.
躺下 装死 Lie down. Pretend you're dead.
我尿了 I'm peeing!
我也是 Me too!