如果我又放鸽子他会觉得有什么不对的【】 If I do it again he's gonna sense that something's up.
还有什么我能为你做的么 Is there anything else I can do for you?
-糟糕的分手么 -不能更坏 - Bad breakup? - The worst.
你猜如果是我会希望怎样么【】 Well, you know what helps me?
最好有一天她蜷缩在臭水沟里 Knowing that someday when he's lying in a gutter
独自流泪 饿个半死还依然肥胖 crying and alone, starving yet somehow fat,
他就会明白你是他生命中最好的过往 he'll realize you were the best thing that ever happened to him.
你知道么帕特里克 你俩该多交流交流 You know, Patrick, you guys should hang out.
Jen经历过不少惨烈的分手 Jen's been through some terrible breakups.
我记着有个难以置信的帅气的家伙 I remember this one this incredibly handsome gentleman.
没错帕特里克 查理原来还挺帅的 It's true, Patrick. Charlie used to be handsome.
愤怒管理 第二季第十八集 Anger Management 2x18 - 【Charlie】
嘿 我好像想到了个招 So, hey, I think I've got a way
能把你后妈骗回我身边 to trick your stepmother into taking me back.
所以我猜你没像我一样 So I guess you weren't enjoying
享受刚才那种尴尬的沉默 that awkward silence as much as I was.
不不 听我说 我是这么觉得的 No, no, listen to me. Here's what I'm thinking, see.
她不和我说话所以要你替我打给她 She won't talk to me so you'll call her
就说你十分担心我 and say how you're really worried about me.
自从读到一些达尔富尔孤儿的 I haven't stopped crying
孤儿的事儿我就开始哭个不停 since I read about some orphanage in Darfur.
总之 你去恳求她 Anyway, you'll plead with her
来这边照顾我 to come out here and take care of me
或者带我去辛辛那提 or take me back to Cincinnati.
等下 别提达尔富尔了 No, wait, forget Darfur
可能她又要对这个发表意见了 because she may have an opinion about that.
就说是非洲的 你怎么看 Just say Africa, okay? What do you say?
额 没门儿 我不会为你欺骗科琳的 Uh-uh. No way. I'm not lying to Corinne for you.
字幕 Oh, come on, Charlie.
字幕 Don't you think some good should come out of that tragedy?
字幕 - Hey. - Hey, Lace.
字幕 Come on in. Got your phone right here.
字幕 By the way, somebody named Satan called for you, like, 20 times.
字幕 My mother is so codependent.
字幕 Lacey, have you ever tricked somebody
字幕 into getting back together with you before?
字幕 Have I ever not?
字幕 Don't get her involved, Dad.
字幕 No, I just want her opinion.
字幕 Easiest way to get somebody to take you back
字幕 is to pretend you're pregnant.
字幕 I would do that,
字幕 except I think I've already gone through the change.
字幕 You know what else works?
字幕 Put some pictures of you and a hot woman
字幕 having a great time on your Facebook page.
字幕 I don't have a Facebook page or a hot woman.
字幕 Well, today is you lucky day, Old Man Charlie.
字幕 I'm gonna help you set up a Facebook account
字幕 because I actually like helping people.
字幕 Because despite what some people think, Middle-aged Charlie,
字幕 I am totally selfless
字幕 and I'm gonna be that hot woman he gets to pose with.
字幕 I'm gonna do this.
字幕 And this.
字幕 You really think this'll work?
字幕 Oh, yeah. Women hate me.
字幕 I thought you'd like to know
字幕 I'm not wearing any underwear.
字幕 Neither am I.
字幕 You know, not as sexy coming from a guy.
字幕 I wasn't trying to be sexy. My washing machine broke.
字幕 Oh, hey, guys.
字幕 - Hey. - I have to thank you, Charlie.
字幕 Jen is the best.
字幕 We spent all afternoon in her garage killing ants.
字幕 It was so therapeutic.
字幕 She told me to think of every little ant as my ex.
字幕 It's hard to throttle an ant's neck, but he did it.
字幕 Excuse me. I'm just gonna skip to the loo, my darling.
字幕 Jen, I really appreciate what you're doing with Patrick.
字幕 Just so we're on the same page,
字幕 I'm trying to downplay his revenge fantasies
字幕 so I'm not sure the best thing right now
字幕 is a teeny tiny killing spree.
字幕 Well, don't worry. He's feeling great.
字幕 And by the way, so am I.
字幕 I finally found it. This is what I was meant to do...
字幕 help people by being positive and optimistic.
字幕 Thanks, Charlie.
字幕 So you suggested she help Patrick?
字幕 No, I just thought she should keep him company.
字幕 Yeah, and guess what it lead to. I'm gonna be a life coach.
字幕 It's like being a therapist
字幕 except it only requires six afternoons at the Y.
字幕 Jen, you do know that I didn't ask you
字幕 to coach or give Patrick any advice.
字幕 Oh, I'm just being positive and optimistic.
字幕 Don't get your panties in a bunch.
字幕 No danger of that.
字幕 I won't do this on a bare mattress, Charlie.
字幕 I feel like I'm in prison.
字幕 I told you the guy from Sears
字幕 is coming to fix the washing machine tomorrow.
字幕 Come on, it'll be fun.
字幕 Like we're in the back of a van.
字幕 Don't you have another set of sheets?