You're about to enter an environment
which will be the most challenging your brain
has ever had to deal with.
Your brain will have to perform complex tasks.
We can all do it without thinking about it.
You're going to a party.
It may seem effortless,
but whenever you mix with other people your mind performs phenomenally complex
tasks at a dizzying speed.
In fact what we do at a party would leave
the world's most powerful computer standing.
From the moment you enter a room you pick out one face from another.
You begin a series of detailed assessments of every one.
From what their faces tell you,
you decide what you think of them
and even start to understand what they are thinking.
In this programme I'll be exploring
how our mind does this and how what happens in a place
like this shapes the world we live in.
This is the story of how we relate to other people...
and understanding how our mind does that can help us use it better.
We'll see experiments that show the hidden potential of your mind,
we'll learn how to tell a fake smile from a real one,
how to tell if someone really likes you,
Or see how all of us can read minds...
We'll discover how an experience like this
can tell us who to trust
and we'll find out just what our mind must do to win the friendship
and love of those who matter most.
We all rely on our mind as we try to win over people that we've never met before.
Good afternoon pink class.
Good afternoon Mrs Bragg
Are you sitting nicely?
Yes we are.
The mind of thirty year old primary school teacher Mia Bragg
is about to face a particularly tough challenge.
Now something very special,
what's happening to Miss Bragg in the holidays?
Mahardi?
You're getting married.
I'm getting married.
But as well as tying the knot Mia will
also have to get to know dozens of people she's never met.
I'm getting married in New Zealand, and I'll tell you why,
because my boyfriend comes from New Zealand,
that's where his family are,
and I haven't met his Mum,
I haven't met his Dad, I haven't met his sister
so I'm going all the way over there to meet his family.
When are you getting married?
I'm getting married on the 15th of August.
Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray.
It's been an absolutely whirlwind since me and Matt met,
it's been like a fairly tale,
we met and then a month and a half later he moved in
and then after a month after that we got engaged
and it will be ten months that we will have actually
known each other when we get married.
I asked her to call and they are coming around on Friday.
Mia will have to assess, understand and win round Matthew's family.
It will be one of the most complicated things her mind has ever done
and we'll be following her as she tries to do it.
Yeah, on Friday, yeah.
No, we'll get on with them.
But why is getting on with people so complicated for our mind?
Well, let's start at the beginning.
First, we have to be able to tell each person apart.
If we couldn't do that, life would be very difficult indeed.
Just imagine if all faces looked the same.
It would be a nightmare.
But we can tell each other apart
and it's a skill we start to develop the first chance we get.
keep it up keep it up keep it up keep it up keep it up keep it up.
Very good, and another one.
Push.
Longer push, push like that again, don't let it slip back,
come on, push, just one long push and finish.
Come on, come on kerry, push it, come on kerry.
Push again and again, push kerry, this is the last one.
keep your panting now,
open your legs and pant, keep panting.
Utterly defenceless,
this little girl seems to have come into the world with few social skills.
Her name is Isla.
But she does have one crucial one
and within seconds of being born she uses it.
Through the blur of her first sight,
baby Isla instinctively turns towards a face.
This strengthens the bond between her and her mother.
But this, the first face she's ever seen is also physically altering her brain.
This first moment of Isla's social life
is stimulating her brain at the tiniest level.
Our brains contain complex networks of brain cells called neurons.
Like all of us, Isla has been born with a staggering hundred billion of them.
These neurons are connected to each other at tiny junctions called synapses.
As Isla sees her mother's face for the first time
an electrical signal is created.
This signal travels through these synapses along a pathway
which is unique to her mother's face
As she sees another face,
her father's, a different pathway is stimulated in her brain.
From now on,
Isla's brain will adapt and develop creating
many more pathways as she meets new people,
but even at this tender age,
a baby's ability to distinguish between faces is almost unbelievable.
What now?
Like all babies,
little Grace here can look at the faces of primates like these lemurs
and actually tell one from another.
But what's interesting is that her older sister can't,
to her all these lemurs look the same.
So how are you doing?
Well, let's make it easier for you.
Can you tell them apart now?
No, well you're not alone,
because it turns out that even people
who've spent a lifetime studying primates
like these lemurs can't tell their faces apart.
But, just like little Grace,
there was a time in our lives when all of us could.
And scientists at Sheffield University have proved it
they showed primate faces to two sets of babies,
one group under six months, the other over nine months.
To start with, all the babies looked at the faces and their attention was held,
but when the researchers tried again with a different face,
the results were astonishing.
The older babies refused to look at the new face, they were bored.
They thought they'd seen it before.
Clearly they couldn't see the difference in the two faces.
But when the younger babies were shown the new face it was a different story
they were fascinated.
That's because they could see that this was a different lemur.
But in order to get on in the world of humans,
all babies have to lose this extraordinary skill.
So what happens to make a baby's brain more like their parents?
The answer to this tells us a lot about the way our brain develops its ability
to communicate with other people.
A baby's brain is a little bit like this tray of cress,
with all the seeds representing individual connections or synapses,
all doing different jobs.
From the moment we're born the number of connections flourishes leaving babies
with one and a half times as many synapses as an adult.
This gives them skills they'll simply never need
like recognising the difference in primate faces.
Our brain now has too man synapses
It needs to specialise.
Which connections live others and die depends on who we look at.
Human babies grow up looking entirely at human faces,
so the connections that process these continue to survive and grow.
What babies don't use they lose,
including the connections that recognise primate faces.
This means by ten months their skills at recognising
the difference in human faces are better than ever.
As babies,
Our synapses are being pruned to make us expert at dealing with other human beings
which is just as well because the world
is about to get a good deal more complicated.
After seeing only a few faces in the earliest
months of our lives,
we go on to meet many, many thousands.
But because our minds now specialise in human faces, we become experts
in distinguishing one from another.
In fact of the six billion people on earth,
most of us will be able to see a difference between every one of them.
But even this isn't really enough.
Telling faces apart is one thing,
but working out what we think of them is quite another,
and doing this places extra demands on our brain.
Not only does your mind have to recognise faces but it also has to read them,
it's a bit like that timetable.
You may know what you're looking at,
but unless you can understand what it all means,
you're not going to get very far.
Reading faces is key to how we form those all important first impressions.
It's the next step towards achieving what so much of our brain is devoted to.
Getting on with people.
None of Mia Bragg's family is able to be with her at her wedding in New Zealand,
she'll be on her own as she meets her future in-laws for the first time.
If Mia and her husband are to make a new life out there,
it's vital that she gets on with them.
I suppose I'm worried that if I go out there
and I don't like it you know how can I turn around
and say that you know I don't feel that this is the base
that I want for the rest of my life.
So yeah I am definitely worried, it's a lot to think about.
Once she reaches New Zealand,
no relationship will matter more than the one
between her and Matthew's mother, Mira.
I think Mum's going to be excited
but she's also going to be a few nerves about it too.
I mean she's not
it's not every day your son brings home a girl from overseas.
Mum and Mia are both very, very strong willed people and they would
both call a spade a spade and
that's where I could see conflict coming into the equation.
I say it as it is, you know if I don't like something
I say it you know whether they like it or not, it's too bad,
if it's been bugging me for a while
or someone's annoyed me for a while I mean bang,
they get a mouthful and that's how it is.
So if Mia wants to get along she's just got to be herself.
How are you feeling?
Dunno, feel a bit weird.
keep going hot and cold, I've got heartburn now as well.
I'm just hoping that I'm the right person to his Mum and Dad,
I hope I'm going to come across as the person
that's going to make him happy and well I don't know cos I don't know them.
Oh my God.
After months of waiting,
much of how Mia and Mira feel about each other will be decided
by their first impressions.
Welcome to New Zealand.
Oh it's so good to meet you.
Welcome to the family.
In the first moments of a meeting, our mind goes into overdrive.
As well as processing and storing faces,
it registers countless signals,
but one signal more than any other affects the first impression we have of someone.
The smile.
It makes us feel they mean us no harm but in fact your mind
doesn't always know whether or not a smile is genuine,
that is unless you know what to look for.
This is actress Jacqueline Haigh and according
to the world's leading facial expressions expert,
she has one of the best fake smiles in the business.
But with our help you'll be able to
tell when even she is faking it.
Jacqueline appears to enjoy buying flowers,
and she seems happy to have met a friend,
but a trained eye can spot that one of these smiles
is in fact a fake,
and that's because they're controlled by different parts of Jacqueline's brain.
A fake smile involves a direct signal from one area of her brain to another.
The part that plans what Jacqueline's going to do sends a signal directly
to the part that controls her physical movement.
This moves the muscles around her mouth and makes her smile.
But no matter how hard she tries
there are parts of her face that this type of signal cannot reach.
Her genuine smile involves a different type of signal,
one that takes a more complicated route.
When her senses are stimulated by a genuinely pleasurable experience,
this signal passes through the part of the brain that processes emotion.
Here it's boosted,
so that when it arrives at the area controlling Jacqueline's facial muscles,
it not only moves her mouth,
it also moves the muscles around her eyes
they crease up and her eyebrow dips ever so slightly,
signs that show that of Jacqueline's two smiles,
the one at the flower stall was the real thing.
And however pleased she seemed to see her friend,
she was in fact acting.
So understanding what's going on in someone else's brain
can help you form a more accurate first impression from their smile.
Just watch for the lines around their eyes.
But the first impressions we form of people
are also shaped by what happens in our brains.
In fact, our brain makes countless judgements
about people without us being aware of it.
And perhaps the most basic of these is, do I trust this person?
To find out just how our mind makes that decision,
I've come to the coast of South Africa
and to some of the most hazardous waters in the world.
When we see a person that we don't trust
there's a specific area of the brain that's stimulated.
It's like a bell that rings to tell us not to trust them,
and crucially it's the same bell that rings when we're frightened.
To show how this trust area of the brain works,
our volunteer has to be become really frightened.
So he's come not to meet an untrustworthy person
but one ton of great white shark.
I can just about keep myself from clambering over this cage
but I can't keep away from what's going on inside my head at the moment.
Right in the centre of his brain is that area
which triggers fear and mistrust,
and it's called the amygdala.
Every time a shark approaches it's stimulated
and however much he tries he can't stop it happening.
And it's that area inside his head that's causing him
to feel frightened at the moment.
That was really rather frightening,
I'm very happy not to do that again I think for a while.
What's interesting, is that he knew the shark couldn't get to him
through the cage but it still didn't stop him feeling frightened.
We clearly have no control over the way
our amygdala registers both fear and distrust,
which makes a huge difference when we come to meet people face to face.
So, what triggers our brain to distrust people in a way we can't control?
To find out, we decided to test a panel of twelve volunteers - our jury.
We showed them a line up of five men of the same age
and racial backgrounds and asked the jury to decide who they trusted the least.
This test was similar to research carried out by scientists in Boston.
Our results, like theirs,
help reveal which facial features trigger distrust.
We believe the least trustworthy to be A,
and the most trustworthy to be E.
So why according to the jury's first impressions
was this man the least trusted
and why was this man a close second?
The answer is written on their faces.
His features really stuck out...
Heavy featured.
...as being very sort of like very shifty looking.
Thin, weaselly features, and unfortunately for D
it was his nose.
The faces of both these men are non symmetrical,
they have smaller eyes and thinner faces than the other men.
These features caused the feeling of distrust in the brains of our jury.
And the two most trustworthy men?
Well both of them have broad features with smooth skin and large eyes,
faces that scientists would say are baby like.
I imagine my Mum going up to him and going like that,
that's what made him most trustworthy for me,
he was typically son like.
When we see faces like this,
without knowing it our natural feelings for children are often hijacked,
and that causes a feeling of trust in our brains that we can't control.
In fact all these men were selected
because they work in highly trusted positions,
so next time you meet someone you don't trust, be careful
your brain might be fooling you.
Thirty seconds ago,
Mia met her fiance's parents for the first time.
Her mind immediately began forming
a first impression of her future mother in law.
...quiet as well, I'm not normally like this,
I normally chat for England.
Do you want a drink?
Can I just have a glass of water please?
You're not how I imagined you at all.
Aren't I?
No, I haven't seen any photos either, I was like no, not at all.
Perhaps he can't describe me.
When I first came to the house there were a lot of cold silences
where people weren't talking and I know I was trying to fill them with questions
or different kinds of conversation.
I think I was conscious that they were probably thinking about me
or making a split judgement or something more negative.
And you've bought a suit?
Yes.
He's got a suit.
I think it would be nice to see everyone smart.
I've written a speech.
With first impressions out of the way,
the process of really getting to know her new family can begin.
The wedding is in four days.
So this is where we're going to get married?
Yeah.
What do you think Matt?
On her second day,
things don't seem to be getting any easier.
I mean... those sort of decisions are not mine.
I think I'm probably the most stressed I've felt,
I just want them to get to know me,
I don't want to agree with everything about me
but I want them to get to know me and me the same as them
so you know we can have a bit more of a joke.
Does the groom want to have a buttonhole that's going to match the tones
that you're having or do you just want him to go for a white rose buttonhole?
Just the white rose.
The more time they spend together,
the more Mia starts to notice Mira's body movement.
Does this provide a clue as to what she thinks of her?
...so that'll be lovely.
I hadn't even thought about the greenery round the edge
but I think that'll be nice.
She does that a lot, either that or that,
and I think it is she's thinking,
it might be kind of getting in front of her mouth
so she's not going to say something yet,
that's how I took it anyway.
...an extension of yourself rather than you know something...
There are ways of watching how someone moves
that can tell us what's happening in the mind.
In fact scientists have now discovered
that this can even reveal if they actually like us or not.
To show this, we took two men.
Mr Nice and Mr Nasty and placed them in a controlled environment.
Then we asked several volunteers to meet them and discuss different subjects.
Favourite films.
Yeah well I've got plenty of those.
You go first.
What the volunteers didn't know was that while Mr Nice was being friendly and warm,
Mr Nasty was being as negative and as difficult as possible.
Philadelphia Story.
Yeah, didn't like that very much.
But crucially, both Mr Nice and Mr Nasty have been asked
to deliberately move their bodies in specific ways.
Have you got any more favourites?
While cameras watched for a response in the volunteers
that would reveal what was going on in their mind.
Gradually, as the conversations developed,
an extraordinary thing began to happen.
The volunteers with Mr Nice gradually began to copy him.
He kind of used them well and the acting was so good
that they kind of all got away with it and the other one was...
No, I've not seen that.
I mean there's no reasons to suggest that we should like that but...
Meanwhile, those with Mr Nasty didn't copy him at all.
I'm really enjoying 24 at the moment, have you seen that?
Saw it once, didn't like it very much.
No.
Well I think it's the sort of thing,
I like going to the cinema myself, I think...
Because the volunteers like Mr Nice,
their mind prompted them to mimic him.
A subconscious attempt to strengthen the bond between them.
Fantastic.
I saw Eamonn Holmes.
Did you? Did you speak to him?
No.
Scientists have known for some time that our mind automatically notices
and sometimes even makes us mimic what other people are doing.
What they haven't known is how the brain does it.
But recently, researchers made an extraordinary breakthrough.
What's more, they believe this discovery may even be the key to knowing
what someone else is feeling.
It's all to do with something that happens in our brains when we see people move.
And if you want to know what that is,
just watch these two crews race to that bridge.
Attention.
It seems the secret to understanding
what people feel lies in watching them move.
But to know what's now happening in your brain,
we have to look at what's going on in theirs.
A particular part of the brain
is controlling each of the physical movements they're making,
but in this area there's also a small cluster of cells
which help prepare their body for it's next movement.
Every action, in this case it's rowing, has it's own unique pattern,
and scientists believe that these cells
are the key to how human beings relate to each other.
Because not only are these cells firing in the brains of the rowers,
they're also firing in exactly the same way
in the brain of anybody who's watching them.
In other words, the cells which are helping these guys row now,
are firing in your brain and mine just as if you were rowing yourself,
that's why they're called mirror neurons.
Mirror neurons mean that you and I not only are watching
what these men are doing,
our mind is actually feeling something of what they're feeling.
Even if we haven't done all the hard work.
But how does all this affect your social life?
Well, if you know what somebody's feeling the chances
are you'll know what they're thinking,
our mirror neurons help us read other people's minds.
Mind reading is the ability to know or at least to make an informed guess,
what someone else is thinking.
It's one of the most amazing skills the human mind possesses
and what's more you do it with no apparent effort.
Take this woman - in an instant you can guess what she's thinking,
and what's more by also reading the mind of the person next to her,
you can work out
why she's feeling this way.
What about a third person watching this scene?
He clearly finds it funny that this man fancies someone who doesn't fancy him.
While they've been reading each other's minds,
you've been reading theirs
and what was happening in our heads to make it possible is astonishing.
The mirror neurons fire,
helping us to understand what someone else is feeling.
But then, many other parts of the brain are triggered,
areas which allow us to recognise facial expressions,
areas which let us draw on memories and past experience,
and then the part which puts all this information together
and decides what it all means.
Many different areas of the brain work together
to achieve all this and it happens in an instant.
Out in New Zealand,
things are becoming more relaxed
between Mia Bragg and the woman
who will in two days' time be her mother in law.
I think my relationship with Mira has progressed over the last few days,
I think at the beginning she kind of sat back and kind of not withdrew
but probably was thinking a lot more and pondering
about things where now she'll come forward more and talk more directly to me
which is a big thing.
Did you meet Jeannie?
No, we were running late to the hairdressers
so he literally ran in, got the...
It's Mia's mind reading skills
that are helping her better understand and get on with Mira.
I think Mira is probably quite nervous about the wedding
so I'm being very kind of positive and
I suppose giving her lots of praise in things
I know she's already set up or organised.
Do you like the ribbons that she's got...
Yeah, cos I think that will be perfect for my necklace.
And I'm reassuring her on any situations
or decisions that she made before I got here were the right ones.
I think I made the right decision putting it in my suitcase.
And over the last couple of days I think I know from eye contact
we're Ok with each other,
it's going to be fine, it is going to be fine.
Do you like?
Yes I do, it's really nice.
If I didn't think it was I'd probably -
You would tell me.
Well I wouldn't tell you but I think you'd sense that I -
Yeah.
Mind reading doesn't just happen with people we know.
Virtually every time we meet someone we try to work out
what they're thinking and this can make us say some surprising things.
As actress Tricia Dibb found out
when we asked her to do some retail therapy with a difference.
She agreed to pick out the most unsuitable clothes
she could find to make her look as unattractive as possible.
I would look awful in that, I'll have to have it.
Oh I haven't worn these since I was sixteen.
Gotta have them, look at them, what do you think?
I would look absolutely awful in that.
I do like a bit of glitter.
Once she'd made her selection
she would ask unsuspecting passers by what they thought.
Would people tell Tricia the truth...
I can't go out like that.
...or would they read her mind and tell her
what they thought she wanted to hear.
Excuse me, do you think these trousers suit me?
Yeah I do actually, yeah they're not tight.
They're not too tight.
No they're not.
Oh it gets worse and worse.
Excuse me, this suits me you think does it?
Yeah it does.
The colours, do you like the colours?
Do you think they suit me?
Yeah, it's nice, no that is really nice innit.
Excuse me can I just ask you, do you think this suits me?
What do you think?
I think it does.
Yeah? Yeah the colour's nice isn't it?
I like this pink, it's really nice isn't it.
The whole outfit looks all right.
It does look nice.
Yeah?
Well I thought she felt she looked nice in it
and I just didn't think that it was fair to tell her that she didn't.
Excuse me, this suits me doesn't it?
Yeah.
What do you think about the colour?
Well I didn't like the colour, I think the colour suits you.
You think the colour suits me?
Yeah. She looked like really happy that she'd found something that she like
really liked, I didn't really want to let her down I suppose.
Excuse me, do you think this suit me?
I think it does, yeah it does, yeah.
Yeah?
She probably shouldn't wear a top like that,
it was a bit young for her.
I don't know, it fits nicely.
Yeah?
I think she thought she looked quite nice in it because
if you thought you looked really awful in it you...
...wouldn't go and ask someone would you?
I wouldn't.
Does this suit me? Yeah?
Is the colour good?
All these people were reading Tricia's mind before answering.
The colours look nice don't they?
The colours are?
you've got the right colouring haven't you?
Yeah, yeah. It's even better isn't it.
Do you think so?
That's nice. Is that nice?
It shows just how often we use this skill to get on with people better.
It would look nice...
Thank you, thanks for your help.
But of course socialising is only the start of the story.
How we deal with other people affects
almost every aspect of the world we live in.
In ways we may never realise,
we try to work out what others are thinking
before deciding what to do ourselves.
Mind reading drives our economy and shapes our society.
It's what allows you to understand and accept
that people have different interests and different views,
And this is what allows us cultural and religious tolerance.
This same skill that you see the world
through the eyes of people you've never even met.
Able to imagine living other lives,
we can create and appreciate so much of art,
literature, and even entertainment.
But of all these things, what many of us value most,
is the chance that our social mind gives us
to be intimate with those closest to us,
to like, to care, and even to love.
Oh they look lovely, they were my Mum's choice those.
This is going to make me cry.
Hi Mia, I just want to wish you all the very best,
I love you lots, I love...
I can hear you creaking.
I think you need instructions on how to undo it later on.
I think Mira thinks I'm good for Matt and
I think that's made the whole process of getting married
so much easier, and it could have been so different.
It does make me feel really kind of relieved
and relaxed I suppose that I have been accepted.
She is a pleasant girl, she's gentle,
she's caring and she's nice and I like her
so I feel totally relaxed with her.
I didn't feel it right at the first instance that I met her,
that is something that comes with being together in time.
We all want to wish you the richest blessings that marriage can bring.
Don't we family and friends?
Too right.
I will endeavour to do what I can for Mia because she is part of the family.
Matthew and Mia I now pronounce you to be husband and wife,
you may now seal those wonderful vows you made with a very good kiss.
I don't think my brain actually probably knows
what it's done in the last week or so,
it's had to cope with a whole range of situations that
it has never had to cope with before.
It probably would have been a lot easier if I'd met somebody in an Edgware pub,
but no, you can't help who you fall in love with.
Over the years we've made huge advances in our understanding of
how different areas of the body work.
But in many ways the mind has been the least understood
that's partly because we're asking our mind to understand itself.
But what we've seen in this series is that each discovery
we make about how the mind works can make us better at using it
and if we can use our mind better,
the picture of what makes us who we are might after all become clearer.