So tell me. How was Hawaii?
- It was unbelievable. - Oh, yeah?
- Well, what happened? - I met this guy.
It was the best week of my life.
It was just a little vacation romance.
But he was so sweet.
He took me to all these cool local places.
We went scuba diving...
- Snorkeling. - Mountain climbing.
We went cliff diving.
Well, we got a little drunk.
- He gave me... - A back rub.
We slow danced...
- in the rain.
But it wasn't just about the sex.
He pounded me like a mallard duck.
It ended kind of weird, though.
When I asked for his number, he said he's...
- Married. - Gay.
- Entering the priesthood. - He doesn't believe in phones.
He just kind of ran away.
You know, it was just a little fling, but...
I won't forget my week...
- with Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth. - Harry.
Harry Paratesticles.
- Henry Roth. - Henry Roth.
Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent?
I prefer intelligence operative, and I couldn't tell you until I knew you.
Well, can I call you when I land?
You can call me, but I' II be in Peru. I said that a little loud.
Come on, that's a 187, code blue. We got the wolf sleeping at night.
He's slipping his arm in the drawer and out comes the cookie jar. All clear.
Got it?
Well, maybe when you get back from Peru.
- I don't think that's an option, Lisa. - Linda.
I know. I changed your name for your protection.
We have to go our separate ways now.
Well, goodbye.
Got it! Moving out!
- What the hell is your problem? - Just keep going, I' II give you $20.
- You got it. How's your balls? - Killing me. Hit it.
Easy, Honah Lee.
Hey, I' m a person, not a seal
Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just hold still, or I won't give you a treat.
I know, it's okay. You see that, kids?
You see what happens when you play with sharks?
Now, why you gotta spread those lies? Sharks are like dogs.
They only bite when you touch their private parts.
That's a good title for my documentary.
Sharks: They Only Bite When You Touch Their Private Parts.
Or you could call it, Sharks: They Tried to Eat My Kidney.
All right, enough already. You too, Willie.
All of you.
He just cast a spell on us.
All right. Put this on four times a day for two weeks.
- You can handle that. - What's wrong with that turtle?
Lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed...
...which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
What? I don't smoke weed.
Hey, Honah Lee? How's that hot wahine nympho from Ohio?
Great. I dropped her off at the airport this morning.
Come on, I need some details.
You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.
Daddy, what's a nympho?
Oh. The nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
Here you go. Bite the fish, chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy.
- You crack me up, kamaaina. - Oh, yeah?
- One of these days... - Yeah?
...you'll show one of those tourists such a good time...
...she'll wanna stay on the island.
Why do you say mean things like that...
...and why is your foot on my pillow?
I don't want your ass on it, either. Get up! Get up!
It could happen.
Then you won't be able to go on your boat trip to Alaska.
You'll be stuck here, waking up next to the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula.
- Just kidding, guys. - About the old part or the ugly part?
Henry, come quickly! It's Jocko!
Jocko! What's going on with you, buddy?
Don't be scared. Everything's gonna be fine.
Just stay calm. All right.
Willie, I don't need you to see this. Get out of here, now!
Okay, check the temperature of the pool Go! Hurry!
What are you doing? I meant check the thermometer!
Give me a hand. Let's go!
Get me two fish from the barrel Now.
- Okay. - Just hang in there.
- Here. - It 's gonna be all right.
That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel, please.
Okay, there. That's good. Thank you.
Come on, buddy, take it. Take it.
- He's not responding! - I know, Alexa!
Sorry, I smacked you. You needed the fish-slap to calm down.
- Do you understand? Are you calm? - Yes. Fish-slap calm me.
I'm gonna try to get him breathing manually...
...so I need your face next to his mouth to see if it's working.
- Are you ready? - Yes.
- One, two, three! - Nothing, nothing!
All right! Try it again. If it doesn't work we'll perform a tracheotomy.
We don't wanna do that, so let's pray this works. One more time.
One, two...
That's a lot of vomit.
This is why I got into this business.
To save sea animals.
You should go wash yourself off, okay?
Maybe try some turpentine. That might take the stink away.
Yeah, high-five is right, buddy.
I knew you were gonna burp, but the vomit thing was awesome!
That's what she gets for eating my roast beef sandwich.
Willie, did you see that?
Captain's log: November 5th, 6:45 a.m.
I've taken the Sea Serpent for a trip around the island of Oahu.
It is by far the longest voyage she has yet underaken...
...and its completion will signal that she's ready...
...for our great journey to Bristol Bay...
...whose unspoiled walus habitat will yield an abundance of...
Damn it!
Are you kidding me?
Aloha, honey. What can I get for you?
I guess I' II take a cup of coffee.
- You guess? - Yeah, I already ate breakfast.
I need to kill some time before the Coast Guard gets here to tow my boat.
What did you eat?
I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and some Gatorade.
They're not breakfast. I get you Spam and eggs.
Nick, I need Spam and eggs.
Hey.
- You like the peanut butter cups? - Yes.
Want me to put peanut butter cups in your eggs?
No, that's okay.
Peanut butter cups.
- Hey, Sue, nice haircut. - Mahalo, Lucy.
Are you staring at me or her?
Because you're starting to freak me out.
Settle down and eat your pancakes.
I think she's a local girl I wanted to go up to her...
...but I was kind of off my game. But, man, was she cute, though.
I thought you liked your bitches from out of state.
Yeah, that's usually my policy. Make sure I don't get tied down.
Freeze that image right there.
There's the little fella. Congratulations, Mommy.
Sounds to me like someone is afraid of commitment.
Let me guess.
Your high school sweetheart got drunk at party...
...then cheated on you with whole wrestling team.
Close. Actually, it was my college girlfriend Tracy.
And it wasn't a wrestling team. It was her academic advisor.
- Oh, she liked the older man. - Older women. About 50 years older.
I hope you shot the stupid tramp.
What's with the "tramp" and the "bitches" talk?
- Are you drunk or something? - I apologize for nasty talk.
I am grouchy due to lack of recent physical intimacy.
Shut up, because here comes one-time-only opportunity.
What I will do now is go into your office and become naked.
Next move is up to you.
I may not be as limber as I once was...
...but I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment.
I don't know if you realize, I'm not into guys.
Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.
Hey, Mr. Could -Kill -Me-in-One-Punch. How you doing?
- You're back. - Couldn't get enough of that Spam.
Fry some up and throw some eggs on it.
- You got it. - All right, mahalo.
- Hi, Lucy. - Hi, Nick.
You know, why don't you try this?
It's kind of a hinge.
- Now, why didn't I think of that? - Well, you're too close to the project.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Right. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective.
Fresh eye never hurts.
I'm Lucy.
Yes. I' m Henry Roth.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
It's pretty. Keep up the good work.
Wait. I see you're sitting there alone. Do you wanna come and sit down?
- Sure, that'd be great, if that's all right. - Okay.
- So are you an architect? - I am not. I' m in fish.
Oh, that's where the smell is coming from.
Yeah, yeah, I was feeding a walrus this morning...
...and I thought I got most of it off of me, but guess I didn't.
- I love that smell. - No, you don't.
- Fish don't even like that smell. - No, I do. My dad's a fisherman.
He and my brother Doug, they go out to sea for months at a time.
And I miss them so much while they're gone that when they come back...
...I just hold on to them for five minutes each.
And they smell just like your hands. It's the best smell in the world.
Well, my fingers are available...
...for your sniffing pleasure anytime you need them.
- Wanna? - Okay.
Sea lions are known for their athleticism...
...and dolphins are known for their intelligence.
- Walruses are known for their... - Tusks?
Their tusks. Also their male parts can get pretty gigantic.
Yeah, yeah, it's the second biggest out of all the mammals.
- What's the first? - I think Tattoo-Face.
Ilike your laugh.
Ilike you making me laugh.
I hate to break this up, but we're setting up for lunch.
Oh, okay. Sorry, Sue.
And the real cool thing about walruses is they're very mysterious.
- Mysterious? - Yeah, yeah.
We don't really know what they're like in the wild.
Don't they just sleep on icebergs and yawn all the time?
All we really see is what they do outside of the water...
...but who knows what they do under the ice...
...where they spend two-thirds of their lives.
Well, maybe they're intimidating the other creatures with their big winkies.
That is one theory.
- I have to go. - Where you going?
It's my dad's birthday, and we go every year and we pick a pineapple.
- It 's a tradition. - That sounds nice. Okay, well...
...I had a great time.
- Me too. - Okay.
Would you like to have breakfast again tomorrow morning, same time?
- Because I teach an art class at 10. - Really?
- Yeah. - I wish I could make it...
...but, yes, I will be there.
- Take care. - Okay.
- One for the road. It is fishy. - Got you good.
- Aloha. - Aloha!
See you tomorrow.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my goodness.
Shit.
I had a bee on me.
- All right. - He was a big one.
Which means "look at those two shitheads."
That was the stupidest-looking swing I' ve ever seen.
I'm gonna take a Molokai on that one.
No throwing. Come on.
Stop laughing, you hyenas. Let's see what you get.
Okay, you heard me. Go! Go!
Show papa what you got.
- You suck, you're good at everything. - Father of the Year strikes again.
By the way, cuz, I met this sexy, blond tax attorney at Starbucks today.
I told her you the kahuna she wanna have fun on this island.
You want her number?
You pimping tourists for me again?
Yes! I live vicariously through you, remember?
My life sucks.
Now, come on. Give her the Waikikiki sneaky between the cheeky.
Ula needs it. I imagine I did it and then I can get through another weekend.
I'm staying in. Sorry. Thank you, though.
- What? - Hey, Dad!
Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau.
But your stitches are bleeding.
It must've been my huge back-swing.
You think you can stitch me up after I get back from surfing?
- Yeah, looking forward to it. - I wouldn't surf with a wound like that.
You might attract a shark.
What's wrong with that? Sharks are naturally peaceful
Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut, anyway?
A shark bit me.
Nice.
Go smoke another one, bro.
That shark theory's starting to catch on.
Now, will everybody keep it down...
...while I whack the crap out of this thing?
Sit! Stay! Shit! No!
Where the hell is it?
Looking for something?
Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
The same thing you are. Looking for my ball.
This is weird. I' ve been thinking about you all morning, all day.
Can't wait to have breakfast with you again.
I know. And I just wanna eat you up.
- Really? - Yeah. Tomorrow and the next day...
...and the next day and the next day. - All right. Okay.
Oh, my.
Oh, Lucy, that feels so good.
No, my nipples are too sensitive. Stop that.
- What happened? - Your ball hooked into that cart...
...bounced back and hit you in the head. It was freaking hilarious.
- What? - Who's Lucy?
And what's up with your nipples?
I can't be falling for a local I ain't ever going back to that diner.
- This where you got hit? - Yes!
You're so lucky you're a professional cliff diver in Hawaii.
- Yeah, well, it's a living. - I' m a tax attorney.
- We never get to have any fun. - Is that right?
I'd like to do something extra fun tonight.
Taking it deep, aren't you?
How about another fishbowl for the lady?
- Why don't I just tap a keg for her? - Okay.
I think I' m getting kind of drunk.
- Are you getting drunk? - Getting there.
So, what are you thinking?
What am I thinking?
Actually, I' m not drunk at all, Noreen, and neither are you...
...because there's no alcohol in these drinks.
Sadly, I' ve used this technique many times.
It helps lovely tourists, such as yourself...
...loosen up without impairing your ability to stay awake...
...and have guilt -free, vigorous sex with me.
- Wow. - I' m sorry.
I'm not a cliff diver, either. I'm afraid of heights.
Well, since it's my last night in town...
...can I pretend you didn't just say that and still have sex with you anyway?
I can't do it. I' m sorry.
Well, can you at least point me in the direction of someone who can?
That guy over there could help you out.
- Isn't that a woman? - Jeez, I' m not really sure.
But you're too drunk to notice, remember? Take care.
- Hey, you. Aloha. - Aloha.
Not aloha, "hello," aloha, "goodbye." We're closed today. Go away.
- What are you talking about? - Order up!
- Don't move. I have to talk to you. - Okay.
- Hey! Tattoo-Face! - Hey, Peanut Butter Cups!
Hi.
My fingers are extra fishy today, if you care to take a whiff.
What was that?
I was petting my walrus all morning and thinking of you the whole time.
Okay, pervert. I think that you should leave.
What? I was joking because of what we talked about yesterday.
Yesterday?
I've never even met you.
- Nick! I need help! - Coming, Lucy.
Nick, put that down. I'll handle it.
- You, follow me. - Wait a... What's going on?
I was kidding around with you!
What's happening here? Is she crazy or something?
Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people.
Okay.
About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident.
She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple.
Her father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury.
She lost her short-term memory.
So she can't remember anything?
No, no, no, she has all of her long-term memory.
That's a different part of the brain.
Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers.
She just can't retain any new information.
It's like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps.
Hold on. This sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl...
...so she'd stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl
I wish I was making this up!
She has no memory that she ever met you.
What about the pineapple -picking thing?
She says that every day, because each morning...
...she wakes up thinking it's October 13th of last year.
She comes for breakfast because that's what she did on Sundays...
...and October 13th was a Sunday.
She has no idea it's more than a year later.
She reads the newspaper.
It's a special paper her father puts on their porch.
It's from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed.
Lucy does the same thing every day.
- Hello! - Back here.
- Hi, Dad! - Oh, hi, sweetie.
You got one without me.
The lady at the farmers' market gave it to me as a birthday present.
I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.
I think she likes you.
- Yeah, what's not to like? - What about our tradition?
Well, I have another idea. I painted my workshop yesterday.
White.
Now it's too white. Gives me a headache.
Oh, yeah, you definitely need some color in here.
Well, you know, that's what I was thinking.
- Really? - Yeah. Go nuts.
- Paint me something for my birthday. - I will.
And promise that we can pick a pineapple for Thanksgiving, okay?
- Sounds great. - Okay, good.
Hey, you should watch the Vikings game while I' m painting.
Good idea.
- Yeah, baby. Isolate. - What are we eating tonight, Doug?
- Spaghetti, Pop. - Try not to sweat in the sauce.
Sorry, Pop.
Go Vikings.
Seven hundred and five. Seven hundred and six.
- Seven hundred and seven. - Hey, you guys.
Hey, sweetie. How's the painting coming?
- You'll see. - Cool
- Oh. What's the score? - The Vikings are on the two-yard line.
- Lf they score, they bring it to 14-10. - Maybe they'll win for your birthday.
And I' II bet Culpepper runs it in.
I'll bet he fakes a handoff to Williams, throws to Kleinsasser in the end zone.
- Loser does the dishes? - You're on.
- Keep the offense on the field.
Culpepper fakes a handoff to Williams. He will throw.
He's got Kleinsasser in the end zone! Touchdown, Minnesota.
Doug, you're good.
Maybe you should be a coach.
- Dad. - Moron!
That hurt.
And you don't look a day over 25.
Yeah, right, and Doug's muscles aren't pharmaceutically enhanced.
What? I use an herb supplement...
...that can be purchased at any health-food store. Check this out.
Check out these glutes. Rock-hard, baby.
Pretty sweet, huh?
Stop it! You're gonna make me throw up on the cake.
Okay, just open your present.
Okay. Let's see what we've got here.
The Sixth Sense.
Hey! When I' m done doing the dishes, do you guys wanna watch it?
- Sure. - Sure.
Ben Friedkin?
Some people, they call me freak.
- Ronald Sumner? - I am. I am a freak. Look at me.
Just give me a chance...
I can't believe it. Bruce Willis is a ghost.
I'm shocked. Did you see that coming?
- No. - Not a clue.
- Shocked as hell. - Anyway, it was awesome.
- Happy birthday. - Love you, Sis.
Your muscles are getting so big, I can barely wrap my arms around you.
You like that? Check this out.
Okay, okay! Enough with the titty dance! Let your sister go to sleep.
- I like it. - Sweet dreams, Lucy.
- Good night. - Good night.
Hey, Tracy, how you doing?
Yeah?
Well, things changed a little bit since high school
And this is what happens every single day.
How long it gonna take for her memory to come back?
Her doctors say it may never come back.
So, basically, what you're saying is...
...she's perfect for you. - What do you mean?
You can hang out all day with no attachment, because...
Her plane leaves every night? There's a problem with that.
- What is? - It 's evil
No, it isn't.
You meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt.
- She's got brain damage, you psycho. - Okay, I' II give you that one.
But I think it'd be healthy for you.
You haven't allowed yourself to connect with a girl
I appreciate your interest, but leave me alone.
Hey, you'd be doing exactly what her father does:
Giving her a wonderful day.
When it's time for you to go on your big boat trip, poof, you just leave.
She'll never even know you're gone.
I'm not sure about the "poofing" part, because I' m not a good poofer.
Demonstrate a good poof for me?
Quit busting my coconuts for five seconds.
All right. Would you stop poofing on that joint and do some work?
Okay. Let's get this sucker ready.
Then we're gonna take her out for a spin.
Captain's log: November 7 th. Nearly midnight.
The Sea Serpent is fully recovered from her mishap...
...and ready to once again brave the open ocean.
I think my stitches opened up again, cuz.
You got a cat? Because I feel something licking me.
How is it?
Peanut Butter Cups. What are you doing here?
I just wanted to say hi to Lucy.
I promise you I' m not gonna do anything wrong.
What did Sue say?
She said that if I talk to Lucy, you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.
She's the boss, cuz. But don't worry.
Lucy probably didn't wanna talk to you anyway.
- What does that mean? - This ain't a disco.
She doesn't want guys hitting on her during her breakfast.
She does if it's Henry Roth.
- Who that? - Who that? Me that.
I bet you 20 bucks I can get her to have breakfast with me again.
- You're on. - I love it.
- How you doing, honey? - Hey, Sue. Nice haircut.
Oh, mahalo. See you in a bit.
Nick and I have an arrangement. You can trust me.
Don't worry.
You should try this out. Put it in there.
Swivelly door.
Waffleonians can come in and out now.
Are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers...
...all over someone else's food?
No, I' m from this country.
Why? Were you gonna eat that? Oh.
All right, well, have a good meal
- Yeah. - That was pathetic.
Yeah? Why don't you choke on your Spam?
Double or nothing tomorrow.
Hey. I' m sorry to bother you...
...but you look like a person who appreciates fine art...
...so I wanted your opinion.
I drew this. It 's a picture of a father and son fishing off a fishing boat.
There's a walrus right there...
Oh, you don't speak English. Okay.
Doesn't look Chinese.
Forty.
Can I have that?
I need something to wipe my ass with.
Shut up.
I wonder what's the matter with him.
Looks like a stupid asshole to me.
Excuse me. Okay. I didn't mean to startle you.
- No, that's all right. L- - - Are you okay?
Yeah, I' m fine. I' m having a problem with something...
Something that I could help you with?
No, no, no. I just...
...can't read.
You gotta be kidding me.
- I can read that for you. - No. Thank you.
I can do this on my own.
Appreciate the sentiment.
I'm gonna get an order of the...
Pan...
Panku...
Ca...
Panclocks.
- Pancakes. - Okay, I' II have pancake.
- Pancakes. - Pancah... Pancakes! Pancakes!
- I' m so stupid! - Oh, don't cry.
- Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. - Don't cry.
- I don't know anything! - What a loser.
I'll tell you what. Why don't you sit with me?
You can have some breakfast and I'll help teach you some of the words.
- Okay. - All right.
- That sounds nice. - Come on over.
- Okay, thank you. - All right.
So I comes before the E?
- Except after C? - Yes.
Okay, and C is that little half a squiggly one, right?
- Yes. - I think I' m getting it.
- How'd you get so good at teaching? - I' m a teacher. I do it all the time.
I'm an art teacher at the Haluki-liki Junior High.
Well, you Haluki-liki the kind of teacher all the kids have crushes on.
I know I would if I was in your class.
Okay.
Oh, boy, do my... My fingers smell like fish.
That doesn't gross you out, does it?
No, not at all.
Really?
If Lucy gets hurt, I' m gonna chop you with the meat cleaver.
Okay, okay.
So I had a nice time.
- Yeah, me too. - Thank you very much.
- Let me get it for you. - Thank you.
Sure.
Okay.
I just want to eat you up, tomorrow and the next day, next day, next day...
I'll see you around.
Okay.
Really? That's it?
- That's what? - All that flirting...
...and phony "I can't read" stuff, and you're not gonna ask me out...
...or for my phone number?
- I can't read. - Oh, shut up.
That was one of the goofiest things I've ever seen, but I thought:
"Hey, if this guy is so desperate to meet me...
...he might be worth talking to."
But then I get stiffed.
No, no, no, this is what happened. I...
Mahalo for the ego boost.
- You're right. You're right. I feel like... - No worries.
I gotta... I can read a little!
I didn't know I came before E! That one I didn't know, I swear.
Oh, you idiot.
I hope you're happy, Shamu.
Marlin. It 's Sue.
- Oh, aloha, sir. My name's Henry... - I know who you are.
- I want to apologize to your daughter. - Not gonna happen.
She's inside. We're gonna straighten things out.
Dad, the damn mongoose got in the garbage again!
- Is this the guy? - Yeah.
Mr. Roth, I have one simple request:
Stay away from my daughter.
Absolutely. I hurt her feelings and don't want it to end like that.
It's gonna end like this.
Calm down, little fellow.
I'm gonna kill you! You're a dead man. Okay, I' m calm.
I'm calm.
- Let me help you up. - I got it! I got it.
It's just Dad and I work too hard to protect Lucy to let some idiot ruin it.
I know what you guys do and I totally respect that.
If you know her condition, you know she can't have a normal relationship.
The next morning, she won't know who he is.
And any guy who's okay with that...
...ain't okay with me.
- I' m not looking for a one-night stand. - Anything with Lucy is, numb-nuts.
Give us a break. Just stay away from the Hukilau Cafe.
My daughter's been through enough.
Okay. I' m sorry.
I could have whooped his ass, but this gravel, I slipped on it...
Yeah, well, maybe you need to do a few more butt flexes.
Cheap shot, Dad.
So fresh and so clean.
Hey, Alexa, did you hook up with that girl from the bar?
- I chickened out. - Really?
Yeah, I don't know. I guess I prefer sausage to taco.
- What? - Yeah. No, I agree, buddy.
Get out of here. Run for the hills.
Let me ask you something, Alexa.
If you promised a girl' s dad that you wouldn't see her...
...would you consider that a binding promise?
- Absolutely. - Yeah?
Then again, there are always ways around such things.
- Like? - For example...
...if I promised a woman's father I would not see her...
...I would simply shut my eyes while she serviced my manhood.
That's actually a cool way to look at it.
And a very gross way.
He asked me not to go to the Hukilau. I'm not going there.
I'm not doing anything wrong.
Sorry to bother you. I'm kind of stuck here.
- Car trouble? - Yeah. You mind giving me a jump?
Okay.
Appreciate your time.
Not everybody would have stopped.
- You're real sweet. - Oh, yeah. Thank you.
I can't believe you fell for that.
Well, my grandfather died trying to jump-start a car.
I'm sorry. I was just joking around.
I can't believe you fell for that!
Oh, my God.
That was very good.
- My name's Henry. - I' m Lucy.
Nice to meet you. You look like a nice...
Hi. Sorry for the delay. Should be a few minutes.
- No problem. No worries. - Where you coming from?
Breakfast?
- Yeah. - How was it?
I had waffles. They were delicious.
Ilike making little houses out of waffles.
- You do? - That's my thing.
- What's your name? - Lucy.
Hi, I' m Henry.
Okay, pal When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute.
Go to the middle of the road. Thank you. Right there. Perfect.
- Oh, shit. - Here she comes. Smile.
Where is she?
Oh, my God. Oh, no!
Okay. That didn't work.
Shit your pants? So did I
Okay, this is her. Start beating me up.
Make it look good.
Give me your wallet!
Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island...
...eat our pineapple... - Help me! Not so hard.
- Take it easy. - Try to bang our women.
Making my sister clean your hotel room.
Okay. What's that have to do with this? Relax.
- Hey! Hey! Help me, please! - Stupid haole!
Yeah, that's right. Take that! And that! And that!
And that! And that!
You got him. You got him. Enough. Enough.
- Are you okay? - Yes, yes...
Okay, I' II be back. Come here!
No, no! I think he's had enough.
I'm sorry.
My eye!
- You got him! - Not good enough!
Oh, Kamehameha!
He learned his lesson!
- What's your name? - My name's Henry.
- You did good. - Hi. Sorry.
I'm in a community-watch program...
Oh, you crazy bitch!
Yeah, keep running!
Okay, okay, he's... He's gone now.
Not her. False alarm.
Don't worry, I called the cops already. I'm all set.
Yeah? You all set for this, Mr. Smarty?
- Oh, shit. - Yeah.
When you're finished playing your kidnap-victim crap on my daughter...
...come by the house.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
There's something I wanna show you.
We figured it out. She only sings on days she meets you.
You're kidding me. That song?
That's Mom and Dad's song.
When her mom was alive, Lucy would have me take that tape...
...on every fishing trip I went on. - Oh, yeah?
Yeah, she knew it would make me miss her mom...
...and want to come home sooner.
I'm seeing a new side to you, sir. I gotta tell you, it's grossing me out.
Let me ask you something.
What's in it for you? What do you get out of this?
I don't know.
Wouldn't you want to spend an hour a day with that?
Actually, no. She sings like shit.
- What? - Can I ask you guys something?
What'll happen down the line? Someday she'll wake up...
...look in the mirror and notice she aged 10 years overnight.
You know something, Henry?
I worry about that every damn day of my life.
Pardon me.
Sorry to interrupt, but I noticed we were both eating alone...
...and I thought I could sit with you, maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi...
...for your waffle house? - Oh, that would be nice...
...but I have a boyfriend.
So I' m sorry.
You're making up a boyfriend to get rid of me?
No, I' m not.
What's his name, then?
Ringo.
Is his last name Starr?
- No. McCartney. - McCartney, okay.
- Oh, no. - All right. I' m sorry.
No! This cop is writing me a ticket!
Oh, whoa, whoa. I wouldn't go out there.
- Wait, wait, wait! - Go on!
I'm coming.
The tags don't expire for seven months.
- They expired May of this year. - No! No, no!
They expire May of next year.
I think there's been a misunderstanding.
- I don't. - This is ridiculous.
I'm not paying for this! It's October!
Excuse me. Can I borrow this? Look, October!
Lucy, let's go back inside.
What?
Having a bad day, Doug!
Sweetheart...
...these are from the accident.
Oh, no!
I can feel it.
You were in the hospital for three months, sweetheart.
I have to talk to this doctor. I need to hear it from him.
You have heard it, sweetie. Many times.
I have?
I'll take her.
I have to hear for myself too.
Doug, just take this, okay? I can't...
I can't look at it anymore.
- It 's gonna be all right, Luce. - Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.
Sweetie, you're sort of dating him.
Sorry I' m not better-looking.
What else happened since last October?
- What about my students? - Miss Campbell took over your class.
- Did Alicia marry that guy? - Yeah.
Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaii contest?
I didn't know there was gonna be a urine test.
Wow.
Do we have sex?
No, we don't. Just so everybody knows that.
We want to.
Just kidding.
So you guys have to just lie to me every day.
Hey, Lucy. Good to see you again.
What the hell 's her problem?
She doesn't remember who you are, brah.
Oh, yeah.
I suck at this job.
Lucy, these are your brain scans here.
I'm afraid they show no improvement.
The temporal lobe was severely damaged.
What we believe is scar tissue here is impairing your ability...
...to convert short-term memory into long-term memory while you sleep.
The condition's come to be known as Goldfield Syndrome.
- Who's Goldfield? - A brilliant Lithuanian psychiatrist.
He himself suffered temporal-lobe damage.
Took him four years to publish his findings...
...because he had to keep starting over from scratch.
Obviously, your sense of humor is still intact, and that's here.
Magnificent amygdala as well.
- Doctor, I have a question. - I' d be happy to answer it...
...but as I' ve told you before, this is a hygienic facility. Shirts are required.
- Oh, okay. - Nice move.
Listen, doctor, this...
...friend of mine's been experimenting a little with steroids.
He's been having a lot of wet dreams.
Could there be a connection between them?
Douglas, get off the juice.
As for the nocturnal emissions, why don't you take a swim...
...buy a shirt with no holes, find a wahine and take her to dinner.
I'll tell my friend you said so.
In any case, Lucy, your condition is stable...
...but most likely permanent.
I'm so sorry, dear.
But it could be worse.
Yeah? How?
I think you should meet Ten Second Tom.
Callahan Institute is the leading brain-injury clinic in the Pacific Rim.
We are funded out of Sandusky, Ohio by T.B. Callahan...
...the automotive-components tycoon and philanthropist.
And now, I would like to introduce to you...
...our most distinguished clinical subject...
...Tom.
- Hi. I' m Tom. - Henry.
- Marlin. - Doug.
- Lucy. - Hi.
Cool flip-flops. Where'd you get them?
You like those? It 's interesting. I was on the North Shore...
Hi, I' m Tom.
- Henry. - Hi.
- Marlin. - Tom lost part of his brain...
...in a hunting accident. His memory lasts 10 seconds.
I was in an accident? That's terrible.
Don't worry. You'll get over it in seconds.
Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain?
- Hi, I' m Tom. - Hi, I' m Lucy.
- Hi. - Doug.
- Hey. - Marlin.
Hey, Tom, can I tell you a secret?
Don't you think you're a little old to still have wet dreams?
- They liked that. - Hi, I' m Tom.
- Yeah, watch yourself, Tom. - Easy.
- I' m gonna go to sleep. - All right. Good night.
Good night, you guys. I'll see you tomorrow.
- And I guess I' II see you too? - Oh, yeah.
You had a rough day today. I'm sorry.
I hope you get some rest tonight.
Okay.
Good night.
So how you getting home?
- You gonna take the Likelike or... - Hey.
Thank you for being so nice to me today.
- Sure. - I don't want you to...
...strike out tomorrow.
So maybe you could talk to me about...
...lilies.
Lilies?
I'm a sucker for lilies.
Thanks for the tip.
Good night.
My, oh, my.
- Lover-boy. - Yes, sir.
You don't have to rush off. Stick around.
You've earned yourself a couple beers.
So what'll you do when you finish the boat?
Actually, I' m going on a trip soon...
...to study undersea Pacific walrus behaviors.
Sounds kind of fruity.
- Thank you. - How long is it gonna take?
About a year.
Guess you won't miss days like this.
Well, maybe days like this don't have to be so bad.
What are you trying to say?
When you guys tell her...
...she's not just finding out about the accident.
She's finding out that her life is basically a setup.
I think that freaks her out the most.
- You're an expert now? - No.
I'm saying I wish there was another way besides:
"Sorry we couldn't trick you today. Here's pictures of your broken head."
- You want a broken head? - You'll give him one?
No, Daddy, I thought you was gonna do it.
Nobody's gotta break my head. I'm gonna split anyways.
Oh, don't go just because my son is psychotic.
Good night. Sweet dreams. Keep them dry there, Doug.
Very funny.
- Excuse me. Lucy Whitmore? - Yes?
I have a delivery for you.
- A delivery for me? - Yes.
Oh, they're beautiful
- Who are they from? - That I can't tell you.
It's a secret admirer. He also wants you to have this.
- Who's your friend, Lucy? - Oh, well, I mean, I don't know.
We just met, but look.
I have a secret admirer.
Oh, really? What's this?
It's a videotape.
A videotape of what?
I have no idea.
But I have to find out.
Happy birthday, Daddy.
- Thank you, sweetie. - That's right. Happy birthday, sir.
- What are you, 200 today? - That's cute.
- What are you doing? - I wanted to try something different.
If it doesn't work, we've only wasted one day.
Marha Stewar faced charges...
Oh, God!
Okay, I think it's on. Go. Go.
Aloha! I'm Henry Roth.
We met here at the Hukilau Cafe about a year after your accident.
I like you and you like me, most days.
Every day is different, but basically this is what happens, Lucy.
Kikikoloko, take the camera.
- I got it. - Don't drop it.
Okay, all right. Here we are, right here.
The par of you in this reenactment...
...will be played by my good friend, Ula.
Aloha. Sorry about your brain.
I had a accident too.
Believe it or not, this my good eye.
- We ready? - Yeah.
Hi. I like that waffle teepee that you have built.
Oh! So nice of you to notice. Please, sit down.
I would love to.
My name is Henry, by the way.
My name is Lucy.
Smell my fingers?
Fish. Right on.
So, Lucy, I work at an aquarium.
Aquariums make me super horny.
That's not funny. Don't rub those.
Sorry, Mr. Whitmore, if you're watching.
It's very late, and my friend's unstable.
Come on, stop with the licking! You're making me sick.
Lucy, I'm sorry.
Anyways, I know you wish I was making all this stuff up.
I wish I was too.
But the good news is...
...so many people out there care about you:
Your dad and Doug and a couple of your friends here at the Hukilau...
...who have a message for you.
Lucy, as you know, your mother and I were best friends.
That's why I promised her that I would always help look after you.
Sometimes life isn't very fair...
...but we still have you.
Oh, and if you're wondering about this guy who's making this tape...
...he's okay.
Hey, Lucy. Just so you know, since you lost your memory...
...I became governor of Hawaii.
No, just kidding. I'm too smar.
Kualaliku! Get your brother off the dishwasher!
So whenever you're ready, we'd all love to talk to you...
...and answer any questions you have...
...and you're the best, Lucy. Aloha.
How many times have I watched this?
This is the first time.
Okay, she cried for about an hour. That's not too bad.
I bet in another hour she'll be ready to see her friends, have lunch...
...get her life back.
We could do this every day.
We'll leave it up to her.
All right.
So how's the cow?
Same as you. Every day they have to convince her she's a cow.
Wow, look. The bark is healing.
You're gonna get there.
I never hung out with you in the afternoon like this.
In this lighting, man, oh, man, you look...
...disgusting.
Yeah.
I don't know how you get me to fall for that egg-shaped head every morning.
All I have to do is slide on my designer jeans...
...and just kind of wiggle in front of you. You go nuts.
Why couldn't I have met you one day before the accident?
Don't worry, because if you hung out with me for more than one day...
...you'd realize I' m a bore.
- Oh, well, I have news for you. - Yes?
It takes less than one day.
You know something? That hurt.
Your damaged temporal lobe is causing me pain...
...and I' m gonna get you for that.
Now you're dead!
- I can't believe you're pregnant. - I know.
- And I got her on the first try. - Yeah. Easy.
And, Tammy, you are so thin.
Thanks, Luce.
And I' m so glad you finally got...
...that gender-reassignment surgery, Jennifer. I mean, Jonathan.
Mahalo.
- Here you go, Lucy. - Thank you.
- You're welcome. - You must be Lucy's friend.
- The one who made the tape. - I think he's more than my friend.
- You're my boyfriend, right? - Yes, ma'am.
So every day you help her to realize what happened...
...and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it...
...then get her to fall in love with you again?
Yes, ma'am.
You asshole!
You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore.
You're in trouble.
I gotta go tinkle.
Okay, so tell me a little bit more about yourself.
Okay. Well, I' ve...
...won over seven all -you-can-eat chicken-wing contests.
- Really? - Yes.
And I' m a ballet dancer, but only in my bathroom.
No, what do you want to know?
Do you love me?
I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
I was just asking more for informational purposes.
It's to keep the video as up-to-date as possible.
Sure.
Well, love is a very loaded word.
Let's see. I...
I go to this restaurant every morning, and I see you there, reading.
And...
Ilove you very much.
Probably more than anybody could love another person.
And how do I feel about you?
You're excited about the chicken-wing thing.
And...
...you've been dying to make out with me for some time now.
Feeling better now?
Nothing beats a first kiss.
There's nothing like a first kiss.
Nothing beats a first kiss.
That's what I' ve heard.
Nothing beats a first...
What are you doing?
Nothing. I was just getting some lint off for you.
You were going for a feelski!
All right, I' m sorry, but this is like the 23rd time we've made out already...
...and they're getting blue.
I know. I know.
I mean, I really don't know.
For me, it still feels like the first time.
Okay, let's average it out then.
It's the 23rd time for me and the first time for you.
- That's about our 12th time. - Yeah?
Now, Hawaiian law clearly states after the 12th date...
...I' m entitled to unlimited boob access.
Why didn't I meet you one day before the accident?
You say that all the time.
You want to meet a friend of mine?
All right.
Jocko, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Jocko.
Wow! Thank you. Nice to meet you.
He is awesome! He is so smart.
Check this out. Jocko, what does the teapot do when the water's ready?
- Very good. - Can I ask him a question?
Go ahead.
Jocko...
...do you think that Henry and I are ready to take our relationship...
...to the next level
You sure about that?
Do you think I should bring him into the other room...
...and take advantage of him?
I saw that hand gesture.
- And I' m glad you did it. - Really?
- Use that. - Oh, wow. Look!
- Yeah. - They're...
They're nodding in approval, I hope.
They like you. Let me get them out of there.
Mary-Kate, Ashley, get a life. Thank you. Sorry.
- Oh, they're very nice, though. - Yeah, so are you.
Let me get you down slow.
- Thank you. - My pleasure.
All right, I just wrote this, so go easy on me.
The Hukilau was the place
Where I first saw your face
We liked each other right away
But you didn't remember me The very next day
Forgetful Lucy
Has got a nice caboose-y
I used to trick you into pulling Your car over so we could chat
But my favorite time was when you Beat the shit out of Ula with a bat
And we drove up to see Dr. Keats
And found out why Doug always Has to change his sheets
Forgetful Lucy
Cracked her head like Gary Busey
But I still love her so
And I'll never let her go
Even if while I'm singing this song
She's wishing I had Jocko the Walus' schlong
Forgetful Lucy
Her lips are so damn juicy
How about another first kiss
Can't fall asleep.
I'm not sleeping.
I'm just closing my eyes.
Well, I' m gonna go downstairs then.
No, no. I' m just resting.
Lucy.
Yeah.
Will you marry me?
- Of course. - Good.
Don't forget about me.
Never.
Good morning.
Oh, shit!
- Help! Help! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lucy.
Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey.
I know this is hard for you to understand...
...but we are actually seeing each other.
We have been for a while now.
Oh! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!
If I was lying, how would I know this?
You're an art teacher and you go to the Hukilau every Sunday...
...and you make waffle houses and you like Casablanca lilies.
- Stalker! - No, don't you remember me a little?
I may not be able to kick your ass, but my sister can.
Thanks, buddy.
Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay.
She's watching the tape as we speak.
How's my temporal lobe looking there, doc?
Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short-term memory loss.
But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?
Don't make fun of Henry. It's not his fault it's shaped like that.
Note the intense overreaction. That's the "roids" talking.
- Doug, once again, off the juice. - It 's not juice.
It's a protein shake.
Henry, the boys tell me you're setting sail for Alaska to study walruses.
- When does that adventure begin? - That actually began...
...ten years ago. That's when I started planning and building my boat.
All I know is, out of all mammals, they have the second-largest penis.
I have the first.
That's my joke.
Did you tell Lucy about this trip?
Well...
...actually, there's nothing to tell because I decided not to go.
I mean, Lucy needs me here.
I'm just worried about going away for a year...
...and ruining all the progress she's made.
I know you think I' m crazy...
...but I think deep down inside...
...she's starting to remember me. - No, Henry.
That's what you want to believe. It's what we all want to believe.
But it's never gonna happen.
Okay. I gotta go to work.
Will you tell her I' II be back later to pick her up?
See you, guys. Don't tell anyone your sister beat me up.
He could go to the moon and back and Lucy would never even know he left.
Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome.
That way she wouldn't remember when I called her mother...
...a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.
All right. There's your medicine, little fellow.
Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool
If that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.
How do you think I get them to double flip and play with white kids?
Okay, Willie, that's it.
This time try to stay clean for more than a day.
I made you a nice anchovy sundae.
Okay, enjoy that.
Henry?
- Hey! - How's your head?
- Oh, it's fine. Don't worry. - Good.
What brings your royal cuteness out here?
I needed to see you.
Okay. What you got there?
It's my journal I write in it every night.
- Oh, you don't like the video? - No, I love it.
It's just sometimes when I watch it, I feel like I' m being told about my life...
...from someone else. And when I read this...
...it's like I' m telling myself.
When did you start this up?
Right after you gave me the video.
- Really? - I was so nervous to come here...
...and meet the guy that makes me fall in love with him every day.
Well, you probably thought I couldn't live up to the hype.
No. I was nervous because...
Because I came here to break up with you.
You had plans and a life...
...before you met me and now all you have time for...
...is to make me fall in love with you.
That's not all I do. I gave a penguin a bath today.
Which I' II have to do again tomorrow.
Ilook at my dad and my brother's lives and I won't do that to you.
What do you want me to do? Be some chapter in your scrapbook and go?
No.
My plan is to erase you completely, so it's as if you never existed.
Why are you doing this?
Because you have to understand that there is no future with me.
Don't you want to have a career and marriage and children?
I asked you to marry me. You said yes.
Kids? Yeah, I' d love to do it.
But how is that going to work?
I'm gonna wake up every morning with an enormous belly and no memory...
...of how it happened?
I have to make a new journal that doesn't have you in it.
But before I do...
...I really want you to read what I wrote about you.
I will read about it tomorrow...
...when you forget about all this breaking up stuff, okay?
I'm not going to forget it. I wrote it down. I won't let myself.
And I' m gonna do it whether you want me to or not.
I'll be at my house.
Okay, type this one in there.
Saturday, November 25th.
I drove out to Callahan Institute today and had a talk with Dr. Keats.
There's one about me.
Reminder: He makes funny noises when I kiss his neck.
I'm gonna miss that.
You sure you don't want me to put that in?
- We can skip that one. - No, let me read it.
We made love tonight! It didn't last long, but it was incredible.
It's not all about how long you go. It 's... There was a connection, I thought.
Actually, let's just rip that out.
Well, that's that.
Henry, wait!
Could I have one last first kiss?
- I ain't gonna do this, Marlin. - You have to, Henry.
I'm gonna miss you, but I gotta get the hell off this island.
I'm sorry I can't take you...
...but you've lived here so long you're too big of a pansy to defend yourself.
I don't feel bad for you. I know you got a thing going on with Candace.
Candace and Bernice?
Candace, Bernice and Rose?
Yeah. I fell for one chick and I' m losing my mind. Good luck with that.
Okay, baby.
Ilove you.
Thanks, buddy. Remember to use a condom.
Or in your case, a Hefty bag.
Well...
Okay, you guys. Thanks for coming to say goodbye.
Be careful
You make sure your father doesn't get eaten by a shark.
Thank you, buddy. What does that mean again?
Bring me back a T-shirt.
Oh, okay. You got it.
Come here. All right. Love you guys.
My shirt size is medium husky.
Hey! Kikikuloa!
No flippies off the dock! You could get hurt!
No! All right. Let the master show you how to get it done.
Now you kids go down there and find my nuts.
Sure you don't want to take Doug?
Hey! What the heck are you guys doing here?
I spoke to the harbormaster and he said you were setting sail today...
...so we thought we'd wish you bon voyage.
This is from Nick and Sue. They send their best wishes.
That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
Ilove Spam and Reese's. Can I have it?
I guess.
- Doug! - That's all right.
- I' m sorry. - So...
...how's Lucy?
Actually, she's living at the institute.
- When did that happen? - Three weeks ago.
Said she didn't want to be a burden to me and Doug anymore. I don't know.
I couldn't talk her out of it. You know what?
She's doing really great up there.
She's teaching an art class and she gets to paint every day.
In fact, she's even singing again.
Hey, look, I got a little gift for you too.
It's just a little something from one sailor to another one.
You take care of yourself out there.
- I will. - Okay.
Henry did not tell me about you.
Your fisherman muscles.
Can I touch?
Sure.
Yes.
The Beach Boys?
How nice of him to give me a CD that will remind me...
...of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter.
What an asshole!
Oh, why?
Why would you do this to me?
You sick bastard!
Oh, my God.
Is he trying to tell me something?
She only sings on days she meets you.
She remembers me?
Holy shit!
She remembers me!
Julia, that looks great.
Excuse me. What am I doing?
You're painting a picture. And you're doing an excellent job.
Oh.
Holy crap! I suck.
Hey, hey, hey.
- Can we help you, sir? - Yes. I have an appointment.
- What's your name? - My name?
Dude, he forgot his name. I feel bad for him.
Just go on up. And good luck with that memory problem.
Yeah. Thank you.
What?
Lucy!
- Hi, I' m Tom. - Hey, I met you before. I' m Henry.
Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for Lucy Whitmore.
Any idea where I can find her?
Hi, I' m Tom.
Oh. Thanks anyways.
Lucy!
Lucy Whitmore...
...can I ask you a question?
Do you have any idea who I am?
- No. - No?
That sucks.
- What's your name? - I' m Henry.
Henry.
I want to show you something. Will you come with me?
Well, yeah.
Hey. Do you know who that guy is?
Dude, I don't even know who I am.
Oh, well, you're Pablo Picasso.
- Really? - No. Not really.
This is my studio.
I don't know who you are, Henry...
...but I dream about you almost every night.
Why?
What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day...
...used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?
I would say that that makes a lot of sense.
You erased me from your memories...
...because you thought you were holding me back from having...
...a full and happy life.
But you made a mistake.
Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life.
You're the girl of my dreams...
...and apparently I' m the man of yours.
Henry.
It's nice to meet you.
Lucy, it's nice to meet you too.
Hi, I' m Tom.
Henry, Lucy. Nice to meet you, Tom.
Now why don't you come back in ten seconds so we can meet again?
Do you, Honah Lee, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife...
...to have and to hold from this day forh...
...as long as you both shall live?
- I do. - Really?
Even though in, like, 10, 15 years...
...she could possibly let herself go and then, like...
...sex could be, like, nauseating for you?
What are you, nuts? Your wife's right over there.
I'm just kidding, Muumuu!
I now pronounce you man and wife.
Mazel tov!
It's very cold, so when you're ready...
...put on a jacket and come have breakfast with me. Love you.
Hey, hey! Good morning, Mrs. Roth. Would you like to meet your daughter?
Go say hello to Mommy.
Hi, Mommy.
That's right.
Good morning.
Oh, my goodness!
- Grandpa's here. - Hi, Dad.
夏威夷好玩吗？
-太赞了 -是吗？
-有艳遇啦？ -我遇到一个男人
那是我此生最美的一周
一段浪漫的假期
他好温柔
他带我到好多好玩的地方
我们去潜水...
-浮潜 -爬山
悬崖跳水
我们喝醉了
-他帮我... -擦背
我们深情拥舞...
在雨中
这不只是性而已
我俩没有别的关系 我们俩的关系只是性的关系
不过结束的有点怪
我跟他要电话，他却说他...
-结婚了 -是同志
-正要投身宗教事业 -他不喜欢用电话
他就这样走了
这只是段露水姻缘...
但我永远忘不了他...
罗亨利
-罗亨利 -小利利
硬汉亨利
-罗亨利 -罗亨利
亨利，为何不早说你是密探？
“情报员”比较好听 我不能随便跟你透露
我回去能打电话给你吗？
行，但到时我已经在秘鲁了 我太大声了
总部，状况 野狼骑走，整夜狂飙
他从山林来越过原野 跨过小溪向前行，完毕
明白？
也许等你从秘鲁回来再打
-我想那是不可能的，莉莎 -是琳达
我知道，我这是为了保护你
我们得分手了
再见了
收到，马上来
-你搞什么啊？ -继续骑，我给你二十块钱
-没问题，你的蛋没破吧？ -我痛毙了，全速前进
轻一点，大法师
我是人，不是海豹
我是兽医，我专医动物 别乱动，再动就不帮你医了
痛吧，孩子们看好了
跟鲨鱼玩就会有这种下场
你别散播谣言 鲨鱼跟小狗一样
乱碰他小弟弟，他就会咬你
我的纪录片可以用这标题
鲨鱼，碰他小弟就咬死你
不然就用 “爱吃腰子的鲨鱼”
别笑了，你也一样，小威
你们全都一样
他对我们下咒
一天换药四次，持续两周
-你自己可以换 -那只海龟怎么了？
他的肺生病了 因为他抽太多大麻了...
你也一样别抽了
干嘛？我又不抽大麻
大情圣，那个下港来的花痴妹呢？
我今早在机场跟她分手了
拜托，说清楚一点
你摸过、爽过了？
阿爸，花痴是什么？
花痴是花枝的一种
你还是大乌贼咧
没错，小威 要大口吃鱼也要爱鱼
-你真爱搞笑，大情圣 -是吗？
-总有一天... -干嘛？
你会让来渡假的美女难以忘怀... 1376 00:04:47,991 --> 口...
好让她别再缠我 我像疯子吗？
我没有半句假话！
她不记得她见过你
那摘凤梨的事呢？
她每天都提，因为她每天醒来...
就认为今天是去年10月13日
她会来吃早餐 因为她每周日都这样...
10月13日刚好就是周日
她不知道已经过一年了
她会看报纸
那是她爸特别准备的报纸
那是她出意外那天的报纸 他准备了好几百份
露西每天都做一样的事
-嘿！ -在后面
-老爸！ -小公主
你没等我就去摘了
市场的小姐送我当生日礼物
我不想伤她的心
我想她喜欢你
-我是人见人爱 -那我们的传统呢？
我有主意，我昨天漆了工作室
一片雪白
可是它太白了，白的让我头痛
是啊，你需要加点色彩
我也这么想
-真的？ -是啊，用力挥洒吧
-划点好看的给我当生日礼物 -没问题
答应我，感恩节一起去摘凤梨
-没问题 -很好
我作划，你去看海盗队比赛吧
好主意
-好耶，硬起来吧 -儿子，今晚吃什么？
-意大利面 -别把汗滴进肉酱里
歹势，老爸
加油，海盗队
七百零五、七百零六
-七百零七 -两位帅哥
小公主，划的怎样了？
-等着瞧吧 -太好了
-比数如何？ -海盗队还差两码...
-就逆转胜了 -也许你生日他们会赢球
我赌克裴会直接达阵得分
我赌他会假装交球给威廉 然后传球给达阵区的柯兰
-输的人洗碗？ -没问题
让防守的一队无法得分
克裴假传给威廉，他会传球
柯兰在达阵区，达阵得分
老弟，你真行
也许你该去当教练
-阿爸 -你去死啦！
很痛耶
你看来只有25岁
是哦，你弟的肌肉还是真的咧
你说什么？
我只吃过购物频道的猛虎丸 你看看
看看我的臀肌，超硬挺的
猛吧？
别闹了 别害我吐在蛋糕上
好，拆礼物吧
看看这是什么
《灵异第六感》
我去洗碗，你们就放来看吧
-好啊 -好啊
班佛莱迪？
有些人叫我怪胎
-朗诺桑犸？ -我的确是怪胎
给我一次机会...
我真不敢相信 布鲁斯威利竟然是鬼
我被吓到了，你们有想到吗？
-想都没想到 -想都没想到
-我也吓到了 -真的很好看
-生日快乐 -我爱你，老姐
你练的好壮 我都快抱不住你了
喜欢吗？你看看
好了，别再跳奶子舞了 让你姐去睡吧
-我喜欢 -祝你好梦，老姐
-晚安 -晚安
(星期天)
翠西，你好吗？
是吗？
高中毕业后我变了很多
这是每天都一再发生的事
她的记忆多久会恢复？
她的医生说永远不可能
所以基本上，这一切表示...
-她超适合你的 -这话什么意思？
你可以跟她混却不用负责
她每天重开机，只有个问题...
-什么问题？ -这太邪恶了
才不咧
你跟她约会、游玩 没承诺，大家都不会受伤
-她脑子受了伤，死花痴 -我承认这点
但我以为这对你很不错
你多年来都不肯固定下来
感谢你关心，阿嬷，少烦我
你这么做跟她爸一模一样
让她每天都很愉快
然后你上路旅行去也 咻一下！你就走了
她根本不会知道你走了
我不太确定“咻”那部份 因为我不太会用“咻”的
你能不能“咻”给我看
关我粉鸟什么事？
好，拜托你少咻一点 做点正事吧？
来修好这艘船吧
接着我们试开一下
船长日志，11月7日午夜
海蛇号终于修好...
再度准备航向大海
我想我的伤口又开了
你有养猫？有东西在舔我
《活在当下》
你好
花生巧克力男，你干嘛？
我想跟露西打个招呼
我保证不会乱来
阿苏怎么说？
她说要是我跟露西说话 你会用菜刀把我剁成肉酱
她说了算，但是别担心
露西可能也不想跟你说话
-这话什么意思？ -这里又不是舞厅
她吃早餐时可不想被人搭讪
罗亨利出马就不同
-谁？ -谁？我啦
赌20元能让她跟我共进早餐
-我赌了 -很好
-你好，小乖 -你好，阿苏，好美的发型
谢谢，回头见
我跟大胖自有安排，相信我
别担心
你该试试这样，把这放进来
旋转门
这样松饼人就可以进出自如
你妈是不是从小教你...
用手指摸别人的食物？
没，我妈没这么教
你要吃这些？
祝你早餐愉快
-没错 -真差劲
你怎么没被火腿噎死啊？
明天赌双倍
很抱歉打扰你...
你看来似乎对艺术很有品味...
我想听听你的看法
我划了这个，这幅图 是父子在船上钓鱼
这里有只海象...
你不会说英文啊
看来不像中国人啊
40块钱了
那能不能给我？
我上厕所有用
闭嘴啦
不知道他是怎么了
我看他倒像个笨蛋
歹势，我无意吓着你
-没关系 -你没事吧？
我很好，我只是有点问题...
我能帮得上忙吗？
不行，我...
不识字啦
不会吧
-我可以帮忙念菜单给你听 -谢谢
我可以自己来
谢谢你的好意
我要点...
煎...
煎冰...
饼...
煎冰
-煎饼 -好，我点煎饼
-煎饼 -煎饼、煎饼
-我好蠢，蠢毙了 -别哭嘛
-我真蠢，我真无知 -别哭啦
-我是白痴！ -窝囊废
你过来跟我一起坐吧？
你吃早餐，我教你认字
-好吧 -很好
-听来不错 -过来吧
-谢谢 -不客气
所以I都在E后面？
-遇到C时才例外？ -对
C是右边有缺口的那个？
-对 -我想我懂了
-你怎么这么会教人？ -我是老师，教书是我的工作
我在哈兰国中当美术老师
你是那种学生会很哈的老师
是我就会
好吧
老天... 我的手鱼腥味真重
这不会令你作呕吧？
一点也不
真的？
要是露西受伤，你就死定了
好啦
我过的很愉快
-是啊，我也是 -非常感谢你
-我帮你开 -谢了
没问题
坐稳了
我想把你吃了 明天、后天、大后天...
改天见了
好
真的？就这样？
-就怎样？ -你想尽办法搭讪...
还假装不识字...
却连我的电话号码也不问？
-我是不识字 -少来了
这是我见过最蠢的招数了 但我想...
要是这家伙真这么想认识我...
也许值得跟他聊聊
结果我被骗了
不，事情是这样的...
真有你的
-你说的对，我觉得... -我无所谓
我是识一点字
我不知道I都在E后面 这点我真的不知道
超级白痴
这下你高兴了吧，死胖子
马林，我是阿苏
-阿啰哈，先生，我叫亨利... -我知道你是谁
-我想向你女儿道歉 -不必了
她在里面，让我们把话讲清楚
阿爸，野狗又来翻垃圾了
-就是这家伙？ -对
罗先生，我有个小请求
离我女儿远点
当然，不过我伤了她的感情 我不想这样结束
就是会这样结束
冷静点，小家伙
我要宰了你，你死定了 好了，我很冷静了
我很冷静了
-我帮你起来 -我自己来！我自己来
我爸和我很努力保护露西 以免盯上她的苍蝇毁了一切
我知道你们的努力，我很敬佩
那你就知道她不能有正常关系
因为她第二天就会忘了他是谁
不介意这点的人...
我可不欢迎
-我不是寻求一夜情 -露西有的只是一夜情
帮个忙，别去阿苏小吃店了
我女儿已经够苦了
好吧，对不起
阿爸，我没法痛扁他 都是因为这堆碎石头害我滑倒
也许你该多锻炼你的屁屁
阿爸，你好低级
清新又舒爽
你那晚在酒吧有上那个妞吗？
-我打了退堂鼓 -真的？
我想我喜欢香肠，不爱蛤仔
-怎样？ -我同意
快逃吧
我问你个问题
要是你答应一个美眉的老爸 你不会再见她了...
你会认真守信吗？
-当然 -是吗？
但诅咒也是有办法破解的
-比方说？ -比方说...
要是我答应她老爸我不见她...
她帮我吹箫时，我就闭眼装瞎
那样做不错
不过有点低级
他要我别去小吃店，我就不去
我才不会犯错咧
抱歉打扰你，我抛锚了
-车子出状况？ -借个电发车吧？
好了
谢谢你帮忙
不是每个人都会跟你一样
-你真好心 -谢谢
你不会这么好骗吧
我爷爷就是这样被电死的
对不起，我是开玩笑的
你不会这么好骗吧！
老天
你演技真好
-我叫亨利 -我是露西
幸会，你看起来是个好...
(停)
抱歉耽误了你，一下就好
-没问题，别担心 -你从哪来的？
刚吃完早餐？
-对 -好吃吗？
我吃了松饼，很好吃
我喜欢拿松饼盖小房子
-真的？ -我超爱的
-你叫什么名字？ -露西
我是亨利
等她停车，就装可爱让她摸
到路中央去，很好
-糟了 -她来了，笑一个
她人呢？
阿娘喂！
没用
挫赛了？我也一样
她来了，快打我
装像一点
把皮夹给我！
白毛猪，你少肖想了...
-跑来这里吃喝玩乐 -救命！别太大力
-轻一点 -还想把我们的美眉
让我妹帮你清扫房间
那跟这有什么关系？轻一点
-救命啊！ -死白毛猪！
好啊，你找死、找死...
吃我一棍、再来
你教训够了，好了
-你没事吧？ -没事...
我马上回来，你给我过来
不，他被你打够了
歹势啦
我的眼睛！
-你教训到他了！ -还不够呢！
三太子救命啊！
他得到教训了！
-你叫什么名字？ -亨利
-你真行 -抱歉
我是守望相助队队员...
你这个肖查某！
是啊，快跑吧！
好了，他走了
不是她，假警报
别担心，我报警了，我没事
是吗？你真会演戏啊，大天才
-靠！ -对啊
等你演完绑架戏以后...
来我们家一趟
好
妈呀
我要让你看样东西
她只在遇见你的日子唱这首歌
不会吧，那首歌？
那是我爸妈的歌
她母亲在世时，要是我出海...
-她会要我带海滩男孩的录音带 -是吗？
她知道这会让我想她母亲...
让我一心只想快点回家
真看不出来，你竟然这么恶心
我问你
你有啥目的？ 你这样有啥好处？
我不知道
你们难道不想享受一下？
才不呢，她歌声超烂
-怎样？ -请问一下
以后会怎样？ 有天她会醒来...
看着镜子 注意到自己一夜老了十岁
你知道吗？
我每天都担心这一刻的来到
抱歉
我无意打扰你 但我注意到我们都是一个人...
我想也许我能跟你一起坐...
-我能帮你的松饼屋盖糖浆泳池 -那是不错啦...
不过我有男友了
真抱歉
你用这当借口赶我走？
我才没有
那他叫什么名字？
林哥
他不会刚好姓史塔吧？
-不是，他姓麦卡尼 -好吧
-不会吧 -好吧，对不起
不是啦！条子在开我单子！
是我就不会出去
-等等 -快去啊！
我来了
我的牌照还有7个月才到期
-它今年5月已经过期了 -不对...
是明年5月才到期
我想这里有点误会
-我可没有 -这太扯了
现在是10月
借我一下，你看，10月！
我们进去吧
什么？
凸槌了，儿子
小公主...
这些是车祸的照片
不会吧！
我感觉的到
你在医院里待了3个月
我要跟医生谈谈 我要听他亲自跟我说
你已经听过很多次了
是吗？
我带她去
我也想亲耳听听
小弟，这个拿去 我没办法...
我没办法再看下去了
-不会有事的，小露 -别叫我小露，我跟你又不熟
女儿，你跟他算是情侣
抱歉我长的不够帅
我车祸后发生了什么事？
-我的学生呢？ -坎老师接手你的课
-艾莉嫁给那个人了？ -对
你赢得夏威夷健美先生了吗？
我不知道他们会验尿
糟糕
我们上过床吗？
没，大家都听清楚了
我们很想
开玩笑的啦
所以你们每天都要撒谎骗我？
(卡拉汉疗养院)
露西，真高兴再见到你
她有什么问题啊？
她不记得你是谁
对哦
这工作真烂
这是你的脑部扫描结果
恐怕并没有什么进展
颞叶在车祸中受损严重
我们认为是伤疤的组织 阻挡你在睡眠中...
将短期记忆 转换为长期记忆的能力
这症状称为金氏症候群
-金氏是指谁？ -一位立陶宛的天才精神病学家
他也受颞叶损伤所苦
他花了4年时间才出版论文...
因为他老是得从头开始写
显然你的幽默感没事，在这里
伟大的扁桃体
-医生，我有个问题 -我很乐意回答...
我说过这里是医疗场所 在办公室里要穿上衣
-好啦 -干的好
医生...
我有个朋友 他服用了一点点的类固醇
而他老是会梦遗
这两者之间可不可能有关连？
道格，别再用禁药了
至于晚上会发射的问题，去游泳...
买件没洞的T恤 约个漂亮美眉去吃晚餐
我会跟我朋友讲
露西，你的状况很稳定...
可能也不会变好了
抱歉
还有可能会变糟
是吗？多糟？
我想你该见见“十秒汤姆”
卡拉汉疗养院 是最先进的脑伤医疗院所
本院由卡拉汉先生资助建立...
他是伟大的富豪慈善家
各位，请各位见过...
我们最出名的病人...
汤姆
-你好，我是汤姆 -亨利
-马林 -道格
-露西 -嗨
真棒的凉鞋，哪买的？
这很有趣，我当时在北滩...
你好，我是汤姆
-亨利 -嗨
-马林 -汤姆因为打猎意外伤及脑部...
他的记忆只能撑十秒
我出过意外？真可怕
没关系，过三秒你就忘了
怎么？我头部中枪了？
-你好，我是汤姆 -你好，我是露西
-嗨 -我是道格
-嗨 -马林
汤姆，告诉你一个秘密
你怎么这么大还会梦遗？
-他们喜欢耶 -你好，我是汤姆
-你给我小心点，汤姆 -别激动
-我要去睡了 -晚安
晚安，明天见了
-我还会再见到你吧？ -会的
你今天辛苦了，对不起
好好休息吧
我会的
晚安
你怎么回家？
-你要走莉琪公路... -喂
谢谢你今天对我这么好
-没问题 -我不希望...
你明天不来了
也许你该跟我谈...
百合花
百合花？
我超爱百合花的
谢谢你的提示
晚安
好耶
-大情圣 -是的，先生
你若没别的事要做
可以进来喝几杯
船弄好后，你打算怎样？
我要去旅行一阵子...
研究海象的水中行为
真是个偷窥狂
-多谢赞美 -打算去多久？
大约一年
你一定不会想念这种日子
这种日子也许并不坏
你想说什么？
当你们告诉她真相时...
她不只是发现那次意外事故
还发现她的生活都只是骗局
我想这是最让她抓狂的
-你成了专家啦？ -没有
我只是希望能别老是说
“很抱歉今天没法骗你 这是你撞破脑袋的照片”
-你想被打破头吗？ -怎么，你想扁他？
没啦，我以为你要开扁
不用麻烦，我反正要走了
别因为我儿子发神经走人
晚安，睡觉别乱开炮了
真爱说笑
-失礼，惠露西？ -我是
有人送东西给你
-给我的？ -对
好美
-谁送的？ -我不能告诉你
是个爱慕者，他还送你这个
-你朋友是谁？ -我不知道
我们才刚认识，你看！
有人偷偷爱慕我呢
真的？这是什么？
录影带
内容是什么？
我不知道
但我会看个明白
生日快乐，阿爸
-谢谢你，女儿 -生日快乐
-你200岁了吧？ -爱说笑
-你在搞什么鬼？ -我想试点不一样的
要是没用，也不过就浪费一天
(早安，露西)
(一切都不会有事...)
(不过你今年错过了一些事...)
(在北滩登陆)
(犸莎史都华被起诉...)
(四月：史奴比狗狗戒毒了)
天哪！
(五月：史奴比狗狗再度吸毒)
(红袜队赢得了世界冠军)
(骗你的)
(阿诺选上了州长)
(没骗你)
(道格服用类固醇被淘汰)
(你不记得这些，因为...)
(牛只引发车祸)
(惠马林撞树，露西重伤)
机器开了，开始吧
阿啰哈！我是罗亨利
我们在你车祸后一年 在阿苏小吃店认识
我喜欢你，你也喜欢我 大部分的日子是的
每天都不一样 基本上情况是这样，露西
拿好摄影机
-拿好了 -别摔到了
好了，我们在这里
在这里...
由我的好友芭乐扮演你
阿啰哈，你脑子的事真抱歉
我也出过意外
你信吗？我这只眼睛才是好的
-准备好了？ -好了
我喜欢你建的松饼小屋
真高兴你喜欢，坐吧
我很乐意
对了，我叫亨利
我叫露西
要不要闻我的手指？
鱼，好耶
露西，我在水族馆工作
水族馆让我超爽的
这不好笑，别乱揉了
抱歉，伯父，如果你在看的话
现在很晚了 我朋友的心智又不稳定
别舔了，你真恶心
露西，对不起
我知道你希望这是我编的
我也希望如此
但是好消息是...
有很多人很关心你
你爸和你弟 小吃店这里的朋友...
想跟你说话
露西，你知道你妈跟我是麻吉
所以我答应过她 我永远都会帮忙照顾你
有时人生是很不公平...
但我们还有你
要是你对拍这带子的人有怀疑...
他还不错啦
露西，顺便告诉你 自你丧失记忆之后...
我成了夏威夷的州长
骗你的啦，我太聪明了
阿弟，把你弟从洗碗机里捞出来
我们随时愿意跟你谈...
并回答你的任何问题...
你是最棒的，露西，阿啰哈
这我看过多少次了？
这是第一次
她哭了快一个小时，还不坏
再过一小时她就能去见朋友 吃午饭...
过日子
每天来一回
一切由她来决定
好
那头牛怎么样了？
一样，天天都忘记他自己是牛
你看，树干愈合了
你也会的
我没跟你在下午约会过
在这种光线下，老天，你看来...
真丑
没错
真不知道你是用什么办法 让我每天都爱上你的咸蛋头
我只要穿上我的名牌牛仔裤...
到你前面乱晃就行 你会变的很疯狂
我出事前一天能认识你就好了
别担心，要是你跟我在一起多一天...
你就会受不了我
-告诉你 -什么？
不用一天就够了
真是的，好伤人
你受损的大脑颞叶 让我受苦...
我要你负责
你死定了！
-我不敢相信你怀孕了 -我知道
-我这是一发就中 -别激动
谭咪，你好瘦
谢了，小露
真高兴...
你变性成功，珍妮 我是说，阿强
谢谢
-好了，露西 -谢谢
-不客气 -你一定是露西...
-那个拍带子的朋友 -我想他不只是普通朋友
-你是我男朋友，对吧？ -对
你每天都协助她了解事实...
还耐心的等她接受这一切...
然后让她再度爱上你？
没错
你这个死男人！
你现在连车门都不帮我开了
你麻烦大了
我要去尿尿
好吧，再多说一点你的事
我...
赢过7次吃鸡翅冠军
-真的？ -真的
我还会跳芭蕾，只在浴室跳
没有啦，你想知道什么？
你爱我吗？
我无意给你压力
我只是想多知道一点
好更新录影带的资讯
当然
爱是个意义深远的字
我想想，我...
我每天早上去小吃店 看到你在那里看书
然后...
我非常爱你
也许比任何人的爱情还强烈
那我对你的感觉呢？
你很高兴我是吃鸡翅冠军
还有...
你有时候会很想跟我拥吻
感觉好多了？
任何事都比不上初吻
初吻是无以伦比的
任何事都比不上初吻
我听过这句了
什么事都比不上初...
你干嘛？
没什么，帮你捡线头
你偷袭我胸部
对不起，但我们已经这样23次了...
我快憋坏了
我知道
我是说，我不知道
对我而言，这感觉还是第一次
那我们算平均值好了
这是我第23次，你第一次
-那就算是我们的第12次 -是吗？
夏威夷法律规定约会12次后...
我有权任意袭胸
我出事前一天能认识你就好了
你老爱说这句话
要不要去见我一个朋友？
好了
这是露西，这是肥仔
谢谢你，真是幸会
他真棒！他好聪明
你看着 肥仔，水壶烧好水会怎样？
-很好 -我能问他问题吗？
问吧
肥仔...
你想亨利和我...
可以有进一步的关系了吗？
你确定？
你想我该带他进房间...
让他占我便宜？
我看到暗号了
-我很高兴 -真的？
-用那个 -你看！
-是啊 -他们...
他们在点头 希望是表示满意
他们很喜欢你，我叫他们走开
哼哈双豚，去别的地方吧
-他们很好心 -你也是
我慢慢的让你躺下
-谢谢 -我的荣幸
我刚写下这首歌，别太挑剔
地点就是小吃店
我初次与你相遇
你我立即相倾心
但你隔天就忘了我
善忘的露西
前凸后翘好身材
我曾骗你停车跟你搭讪
但我最爱的时刻 却是你海扁芭乐那一次
还有我们去看医生
发现了道格的秘密
善忘的露西
脑袋天天重开机
但我还是深爱她
永远不会离开她
就在我唱歌的当下
她还希望我跟胖仔一样猛
善忘的露西
她的唇儿甜如蜜
再来一次初吻吧
睡不着
我没睡
我只是闭个眼
那我下楼去吧
不要，我只是在休息
露西
什么事？
你愿意嫁给我吗？
-当然愿意 -好
别忘了我
永远不会
早安
靠！
-救命！ -哎，哎，哎，露西
露西！等等
我知道你现在很难明白...
但我们其实是一对
我们交往好一阵子了
露西！...
我若说谎，怎会知道...
你是美术老师 你每周日都会去阿苏小吃店...
你会盖松饼屋，还喜欢百合花
-跟踪狂！ -你一点都不记得我了？
也许我没办法开扁你 不过我老姐倒可以
谢了
格斗天女抓狂了，她没事的
她现在正在看带子
医生，我的颞叶还好吧？
别担心，你不会丧失记忆的
你的头原来就长的像咸蛋吗？
别闹了，像咸蛋又不是他的错
反应过度也是类固醇的副作用
-再说一次，别再吃禁药了 -不是禁药
是高蛋白
他们说你要开船去阿拉斯加研究海象
-这是何时开始的？ -10年前...
我从那时开始存钱造船
我只知道海象 他们有世上第二大的鸡鸡
第一大的是我
那是我的笑话
你跟露西提过这个旅行了？
这个嘛...
其实没什么好说的 因为我决定不去了
露西需要我
我担心离开一年之后...
会摧毁她一切的进展
我知道你认为我疯了...
但我觉得，在内心深处...
-她已经开始记得我了 -不
那是你自己想相信的 那也是我们都想相信的
但是那不可能
我得去上班了
告诉她我会来接她
回头见，别跟你姐说她扁了我
那小子就算去一趟月球 露西也不会知道他离开过
真希望我老婆得了金氏症候群
那样她就不记得我说过她老妈...
长得像得过天花加嘛疯的如花
好，这是你的药，小家伙
芭乐！回去清理池子！
你的特制巧克力蛋糕 可别让海豚吞下胜
你以为我怎么训练海豚跳高 还教他们陪小鬼玩？
好了，小威，就这样
这回试着保持干净吧
我帮你准备了鳀鱼圣代
好好享受
亨利？
-你好！ -你的头没事吧？
-没事，别担心 -很好
怎么有空大驾光临？
我要见你
好吧，你手上拿着什么？
我的日记，我每晚都写
-你不喜欢录影带？ -我喜欢
只是有时我看带子的时候 我总觉得是别人在说我的故事...
而当我读这本日记...
则像是我自己告诉我自己
你何时开始写的？
就在你给我带子之后
-真的？ -我心里很紧张...
要见让我每天爱上他的男人
你也许以为我会受不了这一切
不，我之所以紧张...
是为我是来跟你分手的
在认识我之前...
你原本有个计划、人生...
现在你却成天设法让我爱上你
不只啦，我今天还帮企鹅洗澡
我明天还要帮他洗一次
我看着我爸和我弟的生活 我不想让你也那样
你要我在你生命里 留下痕迹之后，翩然离去？
不是
我打算将你完全抹去 就当你从未出现过
你为什么要这么做？
因为你必须明白 跟我在一起没有未来
你难道不想要有一番事业 结婚生子？
我昨晚向你求婚，你答应了
孩子？好，我想要有
这怎么可能呢？
我每天醒来胜子逐渐变大 却完全搞不清...
是怎么回事？
我得写本新的、没有你的日记
在那之前...
我要你先看过它
我明天再看...
等你忘了分手的事再说
我不会忘的 我已经写下来了，我不能忘
不管你要不要，我都会这么做
我会待在家里
好，打下这段
11月25日，周六
我今天去了疗养院 跟医生谈了一下
这里有一段跟我有关
小小提醒 我亲他脖子时，他会发出怪声
我会想念这个的
你真的不要我把这放进去？
-这页跳过 -让我看看
我们今晚做爱了 虽然不够久，但还是很棒
久不久不重要... 重要的是感觉
直接撕掉吧
(“读我”)
结束了
亨利，等等！
能不能再给我一个初吻？
-我做不到 -你一定要做到
我会想你的，但我得走了
抱歉我不能带你一起走...
你在这里住太久了 到野外根本抢不到母海象
我不会觉得你很悲哀 我知道你跟阿珠有一腿
阿珠跟阿花？
阿珠、阿花、还有阿霞？
我爱上一个女人就头晕脑胀了 祝你好运
好啦
我爱你
谢了，兄弟，记得戴保险套
你的话，用超大号塑胶袋吧
(海蛇号)
各位...
谢谢你们来送行
保重
看好你阿爸，别让鲨鱼吞了他
谢了，兄弟，那是什么意思？
带件T恤回来给我
好吧，没问题
过来，我爱你们
我的T恤尺寸是M
死小孩！
别乱跳水！会受伤的！
好吧，让大师来跳给你们看
你们快帮我找鸟蛋吧
你真的不带道格一起去？
你们怎么来了？
我跟港务局长谈过 他说你今天出航...
所以我们来祝你一路顺风
这是大胖和阿苏送的
真好，火腿罐头，好耶
我超爱吃火腿，可以给我吗？
可以吧
-道格！ -没关系啦
-真抱歉 -那个...
露西还好吧？
她现在住疗养院了
-这是什么时候的事？ -三周之前
她说她不想再拖累我们了
我没办法说服她
她在那里过的很好
她在那里还开班教划划
她甚至又开始唱歌了
亨利，我也有个小礼物送你
水手送水手的礼物
出门在外要小心
-我会的 -很好
亨利没跟我提过你
还有你的雄壮肌肉
我能碰一下吗？
当然
好耶
海滩男孩？
这家伙竟然送我一张CD 让我想起...
我跟她女儿的美好恋情
真是个老混蛋！
为什么？
你为什么这么对我？
你这个死老头！
我的妈呀
他是不是想告诉我什么？
她只在遇见你的日子唱这首歌
她记得我？
哇靠！
她记得我！
茱莉，你划的很好
借问一下，我在干嘛？
你在划划，你划的很好
这样喔
妈啦，我真烂
等等
-先生，有事吗？ -我有预约
-你的名字是？ -我的名字？
他忘了啦，真可怜
上去吧，祝你记忆能恢复
谢谢
干嘛？
露西！
-你好，我是汤姆 -我们见过，我是亨利
我找惠露西
你知道她在哪里吗？
你好，我是汤姆
真多谢了
露西！
惠露西...
我能问你一个问题吗？
你知道我是谁吗？
-不知道 -不知道？
真糟糕
-你叫什么名字？ -我叫亨利
亨利
跟我来，我有东西让你看
好
你知道那家伙是谁吗？
我连我是谁都不知道了
你是毕加索
-真的？ -不是真的
这是我的工作室
我不知道你是谁，亨利...
但我几乎每晚都梦见你
为什么？
要是我告诉你 你每天都看的那本日记...
曾经记录着很多我的事呢？
我会说那很有可能
你把我从你记忆里抹去...
因为你以为你拖累了我...
害我无法拥有快乐的人生
但是你错了
我只有跟你在一起才会快乐
你是我最完美的伴侣...
而我显然也是你的完美伴侣
亨利
真高兴认识你
露西，我也一样
你好，我是汤姆
亨利、露西，幸会，汤姆
十秒后再来，我们再相识一次
(早安，露西)
(牛只引发车祸)
亨利，你是否愿意...
娶这位女子为妻...
从今起彼此相互扶持 直到永远？
-我愿意 -真的？
纵使经过10到15年后...
她可能会变成超丑肥猪母...
让你倒尽胃口不想上床？
你疯啦？你老婆在场耶
我开玩笑的啦，如花
我宣布你们结为夫妻
恭喜！
外面很冷，上来要加衣服...
跟我一起吃早餐吧，我爱你
早安，罗太太 见过你女儿吧？
跟妈咪打招呼
妈咪
很好
早安
老天爷！
-爷爷在这里 -阿爸