字幕制作:tedlavie made by tedlavie
pheobe 你呢 all right pheobe?
听好了 如果有一天我变成世界主宰 ok ok if i were omnipotent for a day
我会使这纷扰的世界变得和平 i would want,um,world peace
大家都能吃饱穿暖 no more hunger
热带雨林茁壮生长 good things for the rainforest
对了 再上升一个size好了 and bigger boobs
好吧...我也是这么想的来着 um see you took mine
chandler 你呢 chandler what about you
呃 如果我也能变成世界主宰的话 uh if i were omnipotent for a day
我就让自己永远主宰世界 i'd make myself omnipetent forever
呵呵 男人总是这样 see there's always one guy
"我要是能许一个愿 "if i had a wish
我一定许愿得到更多的许愿机会“ i'd wish for three wishes."
嗨 joey hey joey
你要是能主宰世界 你会干啥 what would you do if were omnipotent
我肯定活不下去了 probably kill myself
啊啊? ..excuse me?
喂 要是我的二弟都失去了活力 (joey 误认为是impotent阳痿) hey,if little joey's dead
那我还活个什么劲哪 then i got no reason to live!
joey 可没让你练葵花宝典啊 joey,uh-omnipotent
什么 你练了么ross? you are?ross, i'm sorry...
friends s01e04 老友记 第一季第四集
偷窥大作战 the one with george stephanopoulos
她究竟是怎样的一个神的存在.. how does she do that?
我在公共场合可睡不着 i cannot sleep in a public place
你瞧瞧 would you look at her?
睡得真香! she is so peaceful
没事儿没事儿 it's okay y'know
你又打了个小盹而已 you just nodded off again
你怎么啦? what's going on with you?
昨晚一宿没睡! i had no sleep last night!
怎么回事? why?
我外婆交了个新男友 my grandmother has this new boyfriend
他们俩在床上都没什么安全感 and they're both kind of insecure in bed
还聋! and deaf!
他们就好像一直在 so they're constantly,like
问对方有没有爽到 having to reassure each other that they're having a good time
真是吵死人了 you have no idea how loud they are!
摸摸头 你要是不嫌弃 well if you want
今天晚上你过来和我们一起睡吧 you can live with me and rachel tonight
好呀 thanks
95 96 97
我没说错吧 see i told ya
从我们那到这100步之内妥妥的 less than 100 steps from our place to here
你太无聊了.. you got way too much free time..
大寿星在这呢 here's the birthday boy
快瞧 ross ross check it out
今晚的冰球比赛票 游骑兵对企鹅 hockey tickets,rangers-penguins
在麦迪逊花园 走起 tonight at the garden,we're taking you
生日快乐啊哥们 happy birthday pal!
ross么么哒 we love you man
搞笑了 老子生日7个月前就过完了 it's funny,my birthday was seven months ago
于是? so?
于是一定是你们正好多了一张票 so i'm guessing you had an extra ticket
而且没法决定你们俩谁带伴去对吧 and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
好吧 谁让我们竟然想到你了呢 well aren't we mr.the glass is half empty
我了个去去 oh my god oh-
今天是十月二十? is today the 20th,october 20th?
啊 我还以为你想不起来了 oh,i was hoping you wouldn't remember
20号怎么了? what's wrong with the 20th?
万圣节前第11天.. 11 days before halloween..
找不到合适的化妆道具了? all the good costumes are gone?
今天是我和carol第一次... today's the day carol and i first...
圆房的日子 consummated our physical relationship
上床! sex
算了 我不去看比赛了 you know what,i-i'd better pass on the game
我还是回家yy我的前妻 i think i'm just gonna go home
和她的拉拉爱人吧 and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover
让冰球滚一边去 我们一起yy吧 the hell with hockey,let's all do that!
别这样嘛 c'mon ross!
你 我 joey 冰球 来嘛 咱们大男人出去乐呵 you,me,joey,ice,guy's night out,c'mon
怎么样 大个子 whaddya say big guy?
干什么呢 what are you doing?
我也不知道 i have no idea
走啦走啦 c'mon ross!
好吧好吧 或许能让我脑袋清醒一会 alright alright maybe it'll take my mind off it
你给我买一个大手指充气棒吧 you promise to buy me a big thumb finger
没问题 you got it
快看快看快看快看快看 look-look-look-look-look
我的第一份薪水支票 my first pay check
看这里看这里 有我的名字耶 look at the window,there's my name
你好呀大美妞~ hi me!
我还记得我拿到第一份薪水支票的那天 i remember the day i got my first pay check
每个矿上都有一个大洞 there was a cave in one of the mines
还死了八个人 and 8 people were killed
卧槽 你在矿上的干活? wow you worked in a mine?
我在dq的干活，怎么了? i worked in dairy queen,why?
好激动呀!我赚钱了! god isn't this exciting? i earned this
我擦桌 我煮奶 这下终于有回报了 i wiped tables for it,i steamed milk for it
现在我可以慢慢数——没钱了 and it was totally-not worth it
fica是谁 他怎么能把我的钱抢了? who's fica? why's he getting all my money?
不合理呀..chandler 你看看 i mean,what-chandler,look at that
呃 还行呀 oh this is not that bad
对于第一份工作，你，你已经很强大了 oh you're fine,yeah,for a first job
靠这点钱绝对足够了 you can totally totally live on this
对了对了 今天的服务真周到! hey by the way great service tonight
rachel?
我的天哪 oh my god!
跟你说 上回听到这种声音还是在动物世界里 i swear i've seen birds do this on wild kindom
你们来这干什么呀? what are you guys doing here?
嗯..我们正好在市区逛街 well we were in the city shopping
你妈说你在这干活 竟然是真的! and your mom said you work here aaand it's ture!
小围裙一系上还挺像的呢 look at you in the apron
演技不错~ you look like you're in a play
瞧你的肚子都这么大了!真不容易! look at you you are so big i can't believe it!
对啊 对啊 我怀的是双胞胎哟 i know i know i'm a duplex
你现在混的怎么样啦 so what's going on with you?
嗯..猜猜我老爸让谁在公司帮他的忙哟~ well guess who my dad's making partner in his firm?
我和我的男友上了报纸头条啦 and while we're on the subject of news
快看快看 我有铁肘一对耶 look look i have elbows!
poulet把球传给了leetch ..poulet passes it up to leetch!
leetch在禁区里找到了messier leestch spots messier in the crease
把球传了出去 there's the pass!
好吧 先暂停一下 we'll take a brief time out
好给某些人欣赏新款女鞋的机会 while messier stops to look at some women's shoes
carol当时就穿着这双鞋和我 carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we
和我第一次...你懂的 we first y'know
其实她根本没脱鞋 in fact she uh she never took'em off
因为我们那个-那个- cause we-we-
我错了 别打我 sorry sorry
少爷你又怎么了 what?
桃核 peach pit
你饿了么少爷? yes bunny?
它让我想起了那个美好的夜晚 peach pit that night we uh-we had-
跟桃子有什么关系 peaches?
当时吃的是油桃..不过也差不离啦 actually nectarines but basically...
可能记错了 could've been a peach
然后我们穿上衣服 then uh then we got dressed and i-i
我把她送到- i walked her to the-
公交车站 the bus stop
我没事啦 i'm fine
快看 那小妞的臀型和carol的一模一样哎 hey that woman's got an ass like carol's!
干嘛啦..我们不是在找相同点么.. what?thought we were trying to find stuff
最近有没有什么新的八卦呀 oh c'mon you guys tell me all the dirt!
这个..最劲爆的八卦还是你逃了barry的婚 well the biggest news is still you dumping barry at the altar
哎呀 别说过去的事了 alright let's talk reality for a second
你什么时候回家呀 when are you coming home?
啊?我不回去呀 what?guys i'm not
好啦 别骗我们了 c'mon this is us
没骗你们呀 我现在活得好好的 i'm not! this is what i'm doing now
我有正经工作 i got this job
给人端茶送水么? waitressing?
我又不是一直端茶送水 okay i'm not just waitressing
我还给菜单上写菜名 i'mean i um...i write the specials on the specials board
还有还有 我把花瓶里谢了的花拿出来 and uh and i uh...i take the uh dead flowers out of the vase...
有时候老板还让我给煎饼上撒点葱花呢 sometimes artelle lets me put this little chocolate blobbies on the cookies
好吧 你妈可没跟我们说撒葱花的事 well your mother didin't tell us about the blobbies
rach你回来啦 和闺蜜玩的怎么样? hey rach!how was it with your friends?
呃..来点给力炫酷缤纷饮吧! okay how would you like some tiki death punch?
什么玩意.. what's that?
嗯..它融合了朗姆酒- weeell it's rum and-
既然pheobe今晚在这过夜 we thought since pheobe was staying over tonight
我们可以搞个睡衣派对之类的 we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing
我这有壹周刊 we got some trashy magazines
还有趣多多和三国杀 we got cookie dough we got twister..
对了对了 我还带了大富翁! ooh ooh and i brought operation!
不过我把骰子丢了..估计玩不成了 but um i lost the tweezers so we can't operate
不过我们可以把房子都摆上去! but we can prep the guy!
rach 银行找你 rach it's the visa card people
我去 帮我问问什么事 oh god ask them what they want
你能告诉我有什么事吗? could you please tell me what this is in reference to?
嗯嗯 稍等一下 yes hold on
呃 他们说你的账户最近有异常举动 um they say there's been some unusual activity on your account
放p啊 我几个礼拜没用了 but i haven't used my card in weeks!
怪不得..他们说的没错 that is the unusual activity
他们问你最近有事没 look they just wanna see if you're okay
最近有事没..嗯.. they wanna know if i'm okay.okay...
他们问我最近有事没..嗯..让我想想 they wanna know if i'm okay,okay,let's see
有个叫fica的混蛋把我洗劫了 well the fica guys took all my money
周围的人要么结婚了要么怀孕了要么提拔了 everyone i know is either married or getting pregnant or getting promoted
只有我还特么的在煮咖啡 and i'm getting coffee!
还特么的是给别人! and it's not even for me!
你要是觉得我没事的话 那你就跟他们说我一点事都没有 so if that sounds like i'm okay,okay,then you can tell them i'm okay okay?
这个..rachel遛弯去了 你待会再打过来吧 uh rachel has left the building can you call back?
来吧 让我们杀个痛快! alright c'mon let's play twister!
少爷你又怎么了 难道那一夜还有冰么 有塑料凳子么 what?there was ice there that with carol?plastic seats?
有4000个怒吼的球迷么.. four thousand angry pittsburg fans?
不是啦 我只不过想说我们的座位不在一起而已.. no actually i was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together
不过那一夜 确实有冰耶 but now you mention it,there was ice there that night...
那是2002的第一场雪~ it was the first frost
赶紧坐下吧你! c'mon sit just sit down sit
别失去信心啊 你现在活的很有意义啊 you should feel great about yourself!you're doing this amazing independence thing!
你倒说说怎么就有意义了 monica what is so amazing?
我抛弃一切孤身进城我容易么我 i gave up like everything and for what?
你就像霉霉 you are just like jack
林妹妹么? jack from downstairs?
狗p 我说的是我家霉霉 no jack and the beanstalk
求别黑行不行 ah the other jack
你看你看 霉霉为了写好歌给大家听交了一个又一个男朋友 yeah right!see he gave up something but then got those magic beans
什么狼人啦 什么断背山啦 什么one direction啦 什么肯尼迪啦 and then he woke up and there was this,this big plant outside his window
都甩的干干净净 full of possibilities and stuff...
而且你们都交往过john mayer哟~ and he lived in a village and you live in the village...
好吧 可是霉霉不如我专一呢 我只甩了一个牙医 ok but pheebs pheebs jack gave up a cow,i gave up an orthodontist
不过 我根本不爱他而且也不懂音乐 okay i-i-i know i know i didn't love him-
啊 霉霉可是给他们每人写了首歌的 oh see jack did love the cow
但是想想还是很不甘心啊 but see it was a plan y'know it was clear
本来以后的生活都已经安排好了 可现在一切都... everything was figured out and everything's just kinda like...
不知所措? floopy?
对的! yeah!
那又怎么样 我们半斤八两 so what, you're not the only one
我们也有很多手足无措怅然若失的时候 i mean, half the time we don't know where we're going
你只要重拾对生活的信心 一切就都会好起来的! you've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together
然后你就会...知所措啦! and it's just gonna be... un-floopy
monica别胡乱造成语 oh, like that's a word
嗯..可是要是一切都好不起来了呢 okay, but monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?
呃..pheebs? ...pheebs?
嗯..啊..这个嘛..我不想回答这个问题! well... 'cause.... you just... i don't like this question
你们想呀 要是霉霉找不到男朋友了怎么办 okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans?
就好像我再也找不到生活的目标了? i mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?
抢断啊 抢断啊 抢-断了! get him! get him! get him! get- yesss!
傻逼呵呵的 笑不出来了吧 not laughing now, are ya pal!
看 这很适合你 你最喜欢看一帮没牙的年轻小伙拿着棍子互相捅对方了 see buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
传球啊 传球! pass it! pass it!
那有空位! he's open!
射!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shoot! shoot! shoot!
快看 我们上大屏幕了! hey, look, we're on that tv thing!
不好意思请问一下 excuse me
为什么我打开飞行模式 让手机从三楼飞出去以后 手机没有反应呢! it says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar.
我要投诉你们! well, i'm not completely satisfied.
这个..这事儿挺急的 listen, it's kind of an emergency.
好吧..你懂的 要不然我们早去急诊了.. well, i guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.
等一下 hold on
把表填了 坐那等着 fill these out, sit over there.
是这样的 我不想给你添麻烦 我只想看病 look, i don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but i'm in a lot of pain here, alright?
我的脸都肿起来了啦 my face is dented.
你要排队的 少年 well, you'll have to wait your turn.
那什么时候能排到呢 well, how long do you think it'll be?
你猜猜~ any minute now.
哎 你这人怎么.. hey, this-
我错了 我把你们都整抑郁了 i'm so sorry, you guys. i didn't mean to bring you down.
你说的没错 其实我也没什么人生规划之类的东西 no, you were right. i don't have a plan.
必胜宅急送! pizza guy!
吃的总算来了 thank god. food.
phoebe?
干嘛 what?
你有人生规划吗 do you have a plan?
我特么的连规怎么写都不知道 i don't even have a 'pl'
你好 你点的是欧陆风情鲍菇培根披萨么? hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion?
不是啊 我们点的是新奥尔良风情烤肉披萨 no, no, that's not what we ordered... we ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.
妈呀 你不是东尼大木老师吗 wait, you're not 'g.stephanopoulos?'
完了完了 回去又要被老爹揍了 oh man, my dad's gonna kill me!
等等 这是给东尼大木老师送的? wait! did you say 'g.stephanopoulos'?
对啊 他们家在街对面 估计把你们的送他们那去了 yeah. this one goes across the street, i must have given him yours.
我是二逼 我是二逼 oh, bonehead, bonehead!
等等 你说的是那个风流倜傥绝世无双的小眼帅哥? wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
嗯 就是他吧 yeah, that sounds about right.
他现在在拍戏吗 was he wearing a stunning blue suit?
他穿衣服了吗? and-and a power tie?
没穿 只有小裤衩 no, pretty much just a towel
oh god
你们还要这个吗 so you guys want me to take this back?
说你二你真二 这可是东尼大木老师的披萨呀 are you nuts?! we've got george stephanopoulos' pizza!
呃..谁是东尼大木老师.. uh, pheebs? who's george snuffalopagus?
唱双截棍的那个! big bird's friend
我看到披萨了 i see pizza!
我也想看 让我看看嘛 oh, i wanna see! lemme see! lemme see!
呃..我们这是在偷窥谁? hello? who are we spying on?
你知道那个在日本影坛叱咤风云的 人称玉面杰伦的大木老师吗 you know the white house adviser? clinton's campaign guy?
眼睛小小的 长得不高 但是笑起来很猥琐的那个? the one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt?
啊 是他啊 我好喜欢他的!微博上粉他了! oh, him, the little guy? oh, i love him!
卧槽 怎么看到个女的 不会在拍戏吧 ooh, wait.. wait, i see a woman
估计是演他妈的吧 tell me it's his mother
你才演他妈的呢 definitely not his mother
擦! oh, no...
不好了不好了 她把衣服脱了 一件 两件 oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking..
脱完了 她去拿披萨了! she's walking.. she's going for the pizza-
喂喂 快滚开点 轮不到你和大木老师拍戏吧! hey, that's not for you, bitch!
不好意思 我们在这已经等了一个多小时了 excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour
那些看上去明显伤的没有我哥们重的人都进去了 and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in
那个啥 有个脚趾坏了的对吧 那货都行 潜规则了吧! i mean, that guy with the toe thing? who's he sleeping with?
哎呀 大娘 你别生气嘛 oh, c'mon dora, don't be mad...
虽然我们都说了不少气话 i know we both said some things we didn't mean
可那并不代表我们之间爱的火苗已经熄灭了呀 but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other
我觉得我们要分手了... y'know, i feel like i've lost her...
还是黑漆漆一片么 light still out?
恩啊 yeah
说不定拍戏拍着拍着睡着了 oh. maybe they're- napping
得了吧 肯定假戏真做了 oh please, they're having sex
闭上你的鸟嘴! shut up!
你们觉得大木老师是怎样的一个人呢 so, whaddya think george is like?
我猜他很羞涩 i think he's shy
啊? yeah?
不过 你要慢慢慢慢地勾引他 yeah. i think you have to draw him out
然后 突然 他就变成一头凶猛的野兽把你撕碎 and then- when you do- he's a preppy animal
床前明月光 疑是地上霜 i remember the moonlight coming through the open window-
举头望明月 低头思婆娘 and her face had the most incredible glow
好了..淫得一首好湿..别显摆了 yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part-
来人给朕拿几片治蛋疼的药啊! could i get some painkillers over here, please?
别嚎了行不行 不就纪念日么 有什么大不了的 he's right, enough, already. what is the big deal about today?
你和她情窦初开 干柴烧成烈火 然后呢 so you slept with her for the first time, so what?
之后七年 你们不是天天睡一起么 you slept with her for seven years after that
呃 事情并没有你们想象的那么简单 look, it's just a little more complicated...
那是怎样?啊?她伤害了你 还一笑而过? well, what? what? what is it? that she left you?
她是蕾丝边?她为了一个女人抛弃了你让你幼小的心灵扭曲成少女了? that she likes women? that she left you for another woman that likes women?
你敢不敢再响点 12楼那个昏迷的大爷没听着呢 little louder, okay, i think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
那是怎样? then what?
那晚是... my first time with carol was...
啊? what?
那是我的第一次 it was my first time
和carol? with carol?
所以你长这么大 只和一个女的- so in your whole life, you've only been with one-
哇哦 我们错了 不应该看什么狗屁冰球的 whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake!
我们完全可以干点别的事情嘛 there was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!
有了有了 我想到一个 okay. okay, i got one
你还记得上回我做的那个蔬菜卷吧 你还特别喜欢吃的 do you remember that vegetarian pate that i made that you loved so much?
嗯 那根本就是鹅肉做的啊哈哈哈哈 well, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah!
好啊好啊 你这个坏蛋 难道你不想知道我和jason苟合这件事吗 oh! oh! oh! okay, fine, fine. now i don't feel so bad about sleeping with jason hurley.
什么!你和jason上床了! what?! you slept with jason?
你们已经分手了~不赖我 you'd already broken up
分了多久? how long?
几个小时吧 just a couple hours
好样的你 oh, that's nice!
哦哦哦 我又想到一个 okay, okay, okay, i got one!
tommy送你的情人节礼物其实是我放到你的柜子里的 the valentine tommy rollerson left in your locker was really from me
卧槽? excuse me?!
你太天真了吧 你还真以为他会送你礼物吗? hello? like he was really gonna send you one?
图样图森破 she was a big girl
好吧好吧 我可不会初一的时候还尿裤子 really. well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!
当时我在笑 你故意逗我笑的! i was laughing! you made me laugh!
大木老师出现了! there he is! there he is!
在哪儿呢 where?
就在-你说还能在哪儿... right- where we've been looking all night!
真的好帅气啊! he is so cute!
老师 快把小裤衩脱了 oh, george, baby, drop the towel!
我说 你能相信他只和一个妹子上过床吗 man. can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
我觉得没什么不好的 又甜蜜 又浪漫 i think it's great. y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
不是吧 really?
我当然是开玩笑的...ross太二了 no, you kidding? the guy's a freak...
哟 你完啦 hey, buddy
这小伙真帅 oh, that's attractive
我觉得你在沉默的羔羊里演的很到位! oh, i thought you were great in silence of the lambs
哎呀 你就承认了吧 到现在为止 这个夜晚还是很欢乐的对吧 oh come on, admit it!all things considered, you had fun tonight
欢乐?乐你妈个头..你倒是说说看 乐在哪儿了 对了 我的球呢 fun? where was the fun? tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? where's my puck?
呃 被那个小孩拿走了 oh, ah- the kid has it
不好意思 那个是我的球 excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck
是我先找到的 先下手为强 后下手遭殃 i found it. finders keepers, losers weepers
你要为维护正义而斗争啊 you gotta do it, man
oh yeah? well, i'm rubber, you're glue, whatever—can't do it... 是吗 别跟我鬼扯了...我做不到
听好了小屁孩 把我的球还给我 listen, uh- gimme back my puck
不给 no
不给是吧 'yes', how about.
拿过来 快给我 c'mere. gimme!
嘿 嘿 不许在我的地盘寻衅滋事! hey! hey! no rough holding in my er!
把我的球还给我!!!!!!! give me my puck!!
现在才叫欢乐好么... ...now that was fun
monica 右 脚 红 okay, monica: right foot red
这可是我的强项 could've played monopoly, but nooooo
谢了 thanks
pheobe 右 手 蓝 okay, pheebs: right hand blue
喂 你好 呃 rachel 是银行的找你 hello? oh, uh, rachel, it's the visa card people
嗯 好 你能替我一下吗 oh, okay. will you take my place?
没问题 你好 我就是rachel alright yes, this is rachel
喂 你好 呃 嗯 我最近没怎么刷卡 hello?oh, yeah, no, i know, i-i haven't been using it much
谢啦谢啦 我没事 我真没事啦 oh, well, thanks, but, i'm okay, really
我找到我的归宿了 i've got magic beans
没什么没什么 never-never mind
嗯 这里就是我的归宿 ok. i'm fine