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小镇滋味 第一季第二集
猜猜凯丽昨天跟我说了什么 Guess what Kelly told me last night?
她和本在出售他们家房子 特别漂亮 She and Ben are selling their home. It's a beautiful property.
地理位置优越 新厨房 大理石厨房工作台 Great location, new kitchen, marble countertops.
还有独立的多余房间 Detached bonus room.
我觉得他们会把房子交给我们卖 I think they'll give us the listing.
乔 亲爱的 Joel, sweetheart.
挂牌上市房屋 那太好了 亲爱的 The listing. That'd be great, honey.
没有挂牌上市房屋我们就做不了房产经纪人 We can't be realtors if we don't have listings.
这是基本 太他妈基本了 It's so basic. It's so fucking basic.
我的天 Oh, my...
有盖子就好了 Would've been nice to have the lid.
我没找到 I couldn't find it.
对 Right.
我以为会和箱子存放在一起 You'd think it would've been stored with the container, is all.
回家后我可以再去找 亲爱的 I can look for it when we get home, sweetheart.
回家后 When we get home?
等我们把装了该死的半具尸体的箱子 What good would the lid be
埋在该死的荒漠里 when our container is stuffed with half a fucking body,
还要盖子何用 亲爱的 and is buried in the fucking desert... honey?
你今晚说了好多脏话 You're swearing a lot tonight.
嗯 我也注意到了 Yeah, I've noticed that too.
很显然 亲爱的 Well, obviously, sweetie,
我之前不知道我们要掩埋箱子 I didn't know we'd be burying the container.
不然呢 亲爱的 What did you think, honeybunch?
难道要带回家 We'd take it home with us
清理干净 存放税金吗 and clean it out and use it to store our taxes,
显然不行 因为它没有该死的盖子 which we can't do because it doesn't have a fucking lid.
行 我不找就是 Fine, I won't look for it.
靠 有人来了 Oh, shit. Someone's coming.
我操 Oh, crap!
谁会来这啊 Who could be out here?
我怎么知道 I don't know.
-快 赶紧埋了 -好 - Hurry. Let's get this in the ground. - Okay.
别提盖子的事 Do not bring up the lid.
快把这些推进坑里 Come on, scoop this up, get it in the hole.
-我们不能被抓 -我知道 - We can't get caught. - I know.
谁来照顾艾比 我们不能抛下艾比 Who will take care of Abby? We can't leave Abby.
我知道 I know.
快起来 Hurry, get up.
表现自然点 Act casual.
我们真要这么做吗 Really? This is what we're doing?
好吧 我们就说我们碰巧发现 Okay, we say we came across
这个谋杀现场 我们在打扫这里 this murder site and we're just cleaning it up.
谁会打扫谋杀现场啊 Who cleans up murder sites?
不知道 我们是摩门教徒 I don't know. We're Mormons.
摩门教徒不会打扫谋杀现场 Mormons don't clean up murder sites.
但他们很勤快 Mormons are helpful.
我还是不懂 Yeah, I'm just not seeing it.
-乔 别 -爸 住手 - Joel, no! - Dad, stop!
艾比 你来这做什么 Abby, what are you doing here?
我看到院子里坏了的烤箱 I saw the broken toaster in the yard,
还有草坪上的血 and there was blood on the lawn,
可没人在家 我不知道发生了什么 and no one was home, and I didn't know what was happening.
所以她来找我求助 我通常都临危不乱 So she came to me for help. I'm pretty calm in a crisis.
艾瑞克借了他继父的车 Eric borrowed his stepdad's car.
拜托别跟丹说 他喜欢他的车 Please don't tell Dan. He loves this car.
用毯子罩着停在车库里 Keeps it covered with a blanket in the garage,
要是他发现我开走了的话 那就会是我的下场 which is how I'll end up if he finds out I took it.
你们怎么找到我们的 How did you find us?
你在我们手机上安装了追踪软件 You put that tracker app on our phones.
对的 那玩意儿很棒 Oh, yeah, that thing's great.
那我们就家里见 So I guess we'll see you at home, then.
天啊 你们杀了人吗 Oh, my God, did you kill someone?
没有 老天 我们开车在外面逛 No! Jesus! We were out for a drive...
是的 我杀了人 Yes, I did.
好吧 坦诚相待 你该提前跟我说的 Okay, we're not gonna lie. Would've been good to know.
他不是个好人 艾比 他不听我的话 He was not a good man, Abby. He didn't listen to my words.
好好待着 加里 Stay down, Gary.
你只吃了一部分的他吗 But you only ate some of him?
他体重大概有180磅 He weighed, like, 180 pounds.
活死人的过度点餐就是这样 Ah, the undead equivalent of over-ordering.
亲爱的 我不想把你或者你爸牵扯到这事中来 Honey, I did not want to get you or your dad involved in this.
你妈是个怪物 我吃了人 Your mom is a monster. I ate someone.
如果你希望我离开 我会的 And if you want me to go away, I will.
谁都不用离开 No one's going anywhere.
嗯 Yeah.
抱歉 在犯罪现场待的时间越短越好 Sorry. The less time spent at a crime scene, the better.
你又知道些什么 What do you know about it?
我继父是警察 我又喜欢上网 My stepdad's a cop and I enjoy the Internet,
关于犯罪的第一件事就是你不想被抓 and the first thing about crime is you don't wanna get caught.
-这人有家庭吗 -没有 - Did this guy have a family? - No.
-他大概一周前搬过来的 -很好 - He moved here, like, a week ago. - Perfect.
你没有吃掉他的钥匙吧 Uh, you didn't eat his keys, did you?
我们扔掉加里的箱子 把他的车开到伯班克 We toss Gary's bag, drive his car to Burbank,
留在机场 and leave it at the airport.
像加里这种人 但愿人们只会以为他跑了 Guy like Gary, hopefully, people will just think he skipped town.
你太有才了 That's ingenious.
我们应该多有才几次 挺好玩的 We should be ingenious more often. It's kinda fun.
我不同意 I disagree.
事实上 在我们解决这事前 In fact, until we solve whatever this is,
我希望我们能互相妥协 I'd like you to meet me halfway.
好歹控制下你的冲动 At least, control some of your impulses.
我发誓 我没有和加里做爱 I swear, I did not have sex with Gary.
我相信你 I believe you.
不过我有吃掉他的蛋 But I did eat his balls.
只吃了一个 这算是妥协吗 Well, one of them. Does that count as meeting you halfway?
我的意思是 从现在开始 What I meant was, it'd be good for everyone if,
你只吃鸡肉或者牛肉对大家都好 from now on, you only ate chicken or beef.
没问题 我同意 Oh, yeah. Okay, totally, I agree.
我们还得把路虎退了 And we need to return the Range Rover.
-希拉 -好吧 - Sheila? - Fine.
我该把他两个蛋都吃了的 I should've eaten both of his balls.
能不能别再提加里的蛋了 It'd be great if we didn't talk about Gary's balls anymore.
当然 反正小得可怜 Sure. They were tiny anyway.
怎么 这不正是你喜欢的吗 What? I thought you'd like that.
这个能掩盖任何血迹 This will mask any traces of blood.
不过记得跟你爸说 But tell your dad to
要加三倍的水 不然会杀死他的草坪的 dilute it three-to-one or he'll kill his lawn.
-紧张的一晚 对吗 -是的 - Intense night, huh? - Yeah.
谢谢你 艾瑞克 Thank you, Eric.
"谢谢你 艾瑞克" "Thank you, Eric."
卡尔来电话了 他很抓狂因为他找不到加里 Carl called. He's mad because he can't find Gary.
因为他被吃剩一半的身躯埋在荒漠里 Because he's, you know, buried half-eaten in the desert,
还没有盖子 顺便给你说下我找到盖子了 without a lid, which I did find, by the way.
我也有所发现 I found something, too.
没有缺箱子的盖子那么令人激动 不过也许更有用 Not as exciting as a lid without a box, but maybe more useful.
城市学院里 There's a virologist at
有个专门研究罕见病毒的病毒学家 City College who specializes in rare viruses.
我打算去见他 I'm gonna go see him,
听取一个不是16岁的人的意见 get a second opinion from someone who's not 16.
行 这很好 亲爱的 Okay. That's great, honey.
但你怎么不跟我说 But why didn't you tell me
加里从我们这偷走了彼得森家的房子 that Gary stole the Peterson listing from us?
发生了很多事 你杀了他 Well, there was a lot going on, what with you killing him.
那对夫妻今天要回去看那房子 Well, that couple is going back to the house today,
卡尔说如果加里不出现 这已成定局 and Carl said if Gary doesn't turn up, which he won't,
或者至少无法完整出现带人参观房子 or, at least, not enough of him to show a house,
他希望我们过去 he wants us to do it.
这很好 This is good.
反正我们也该让生活回到正轨了 We should get our lives back to normal anyway,
这样就没人会起疑 so no one gets suspicious.
带人参观房子多好 Why not show a house?
同意 我去穿衣然后出发 I agree. I'm gonna get dressed and go.
怎么 你不是要去见病毒学家吗 What? You're going to see the virus guy.
然后我会来接你 再一起去待售房 I'll pick you up after, and we'll go to the house together.
你不信任我吗 Don't you trust me?
你昨天肢解了一个人还买了辆路虎 Well, you did disembowel a man and buy a Range Rover yesterday.
-说到路虎 -我们得把它退了 - Speaking of the Range Rover... - Which we have to return.
不能退 州法律规定的 It can't be returned. State law.
新车交易不得退换 New automobile sales are final.
该死的加州 让我们拥有一辆如此好的车 Damn you, California, for making us own such a super nice car.
别担心 乔 Don't worry, Joel.
我们齐心协力会卖掉彼得森家的房子的 We're gonna sell the Peterson house... together.
这是当务之急 We really need to now.
我爱你 乔 I love you, Joel.
谢谢做我的老公 Thank you for being my husband.
我也爱你 希拉 我们会解决这事的 I love you too, Sheila. We're gonna figure this out.
嗯 不过不是现在 Yeah, but later.
因为现在我想像来爱德药店的搜救犬一样摩擦做爱 'Cause right now, I want to hump like a rescue dog at a Rite Aid.
嘿 艳星们 Hey, porn stars.
丹在后院看我们的草坪 Dan's in the backyard looking at our grass.
这不是什么好事吧 A good development? I don't think so.
我去探个究竟 I'll go see what's up.
-你还好吗 亲爱的 -我没事 - Are you okay, sweetheart? - Yeah, I'm fine.
我16岁了 我能应付得来 I'm 16. I can deal with shit.
还有现在开始我会当着你们面飙脏话了 By the way, I'm gonna be swearing in front of you guys now.
行 Fair enough.
从现在开始我只会吃盒装肉 And I'm only gonna be eating packaged meats from now on.
我们要让生活重回正轨 We're gonna get our lives back to normal.
只是伴有一个小小的家庭秘密 We'll just have this little family secret.
有点像那次你爸因为扑灭自己引起的火 Kind of like the time when Dad got himself in the paper
而上了报纸 for putting out that fire he started.
这次可不是在篝火附近挂彩罐 This isn't hanging a piñata too close to the campfire.
我们家后院现在有个警察 There's a cop in our backyard
他可以以谋杀罪把你抓进监狱 who could send you to jail for murder.
我马上过去 I'm going.
丹 怎么了 Hey, Dan. What's up?
我注意到你在半夜 Noticed you were spraying your lawn
往你家草坪上喷洒某种化学药品 in the middle of the night with some kind of chemical.
是的 Yeah.
-这有蚂蚁 -蚂蚁 - We have ants. - Ants?
是的 你知道 Yeah. You know...
它们不长那样 不过确实有 They don't look like that, but we have them.
你非得在凌晨2:45喷洒药物吗 And you needed to spray for them at 2:45 in the morning?
我当时没睡 想着它们肯定也没睡 I was up. I figured they were, too.
怎么了 What's going on?
显然丹昨晚看到我们在这 Apparently, Dan saw us out here
想知道我们在干什么 last night and was wondering what we were doing.
关你屁事 丹 How about it's none of your fucking business, Dan?
也许那就是我们在做的 Maybe that's what we were doing.
我打赌 作为副治安官 I bet, as sheriff deputy,
人们通常不会这么和你说话 people don't usually talk to you like that
因为这只会引起不必要的猜疑 because it only arouses suspicion, where there shouldn't be any.
我们是在喷洒药物消灭蚂蚁 就这样 So we were spraying for ants and that's settled.
听着 你就这样走进我们家院子不太好 Listen, it's not great that you walk into our yard like this.
以后别再这么做了 So let's not do that anymore.
如果你继续关注蚂蚁问题 乔 You wanna stay on top of an ant problem, Joel.
你可能会被吞噬 It could overwhelm you.
好吧 但请你也记住我的要求 Right... but remember my thing, too.
城市学院
打扰下 Excuse me.
你知道海斯麦迪博士的办公室在哪儿吗 Do you know where I might find Dr. Hasmedi's office?
你找他干什么 What do you need him for?
我有几个问题 I... just have a few questions.
行 别告诉我 Fine. Don't tell me.
我逗你玩的 I'm fucking with you, man.
大家什么都不跟我说 所以我不怪你 No one tells me anything, so we're cool.
走到尽头 先左转再右转 End of the hall, make a left, then a right.
谢谢 Thank you.
随便咯 混蛋 Whatever... douchebag.
-进 -海斯麦迪博士 - Come in. - Dr. Hasmedi?
-什么事 -你好 我是乔·威奇托 - Yes? - Hi, I'm Joel Wichita.
跟威奇托那个城市一个名吗 Wichita, like the city?
是的 I guess.
我有几个问题 I just have a few questions about
我朋友身上发生了一点事 something that's happening to a friend
我在想如果是病毒引起的 that I'm wondering if might be
我该上哪儿求助 a virus and where I might go for help.
你是说这人的血是干的吗 So the person's blood is dry?
不像粉末 很黏稠 Not like a powder, more... just thick.
一种类似焦油的物质 Kind of a tar-like substance.
-焦油 -类似焦油的物质 - Tar? - Like substance.
-他们只吃生肉 -没错 - And they only eat raw meat. - That's right. And...
他们吐出了这个 they threw up this.
我没有福尔马林 所以我把它放在了橄榄油里 I didn't have formaldehyde, so I saved it in olive oil.
真聪明 That was good thinking.
你介意我叫一个同事来帮我们吗 Do you mind if I ask a colleague to join us?
如果你觉得这能有所帮助的话 那就好 If you think that'll help, great.
圣克拉丽塔高中
你怎么没上课 Wait, why aren't you in class?
经过昨晚的事后 学校似乎完全不重要了 After last night, school just seems so trivial.
我听不下去弗洛斯曼老师讲布匿战争 I could not listen to Mrs. Flothman talk about the Punic Wars.
所以你就要走了吗 So you're just leaving?
是的 就像布匿离开西西里一样 Yeah, like the Punics did from Sicily.
原来我有听她讲课 Huh. I was listening.
这是谁 Who is this?
我为科学课制作的 他能行走说话 Oh, uh, I built him for science. He can walk and talk.
拜拉席恩机器人国王 给艾比打招呼 King Robot Baratheon, say hi to Abby.
没用的东西 我为此花了六周时间 Fucking thing. I spent like six weeks on it.
-祝你好运 -等等 你去哪儿 - Well, good luck. - Wait. Where are you going?
不知道 我从没翘过课 I have no idea. I've never ditched before.
等等 我也要来 Hang on. I'll come with you.
我知道一个地方 I know a place we can go.
好 Okay.
好的 Okay.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
你简直不可理喻 You are unbelievable.
你觉得这是人体器官吗 Do you think it's an organ?
可能是 你觉得它意味着什么 It might be. What do you think it means?
你觉得它意味着什么 What do you think it means?
不知道 死亡 I don't know. Death?
-你从哪儿找到的 -我说了 我朋友吐出来的 - Where'd you get it? - I told you, my friend threw it up.
威奇托先生 我希望你跟我去五楼 Mr. Wichita, I'd like you to come with me to the fifth floor.
为什么 那上面有什么 Why? What's going on up there?
在我们搞清楚这是什么 来自哪里之前 Until we figure out what this is and who it came from,
我觉得你最好和我们待在一起 I think it'd be best for you to stay with us.
-你不是病毒学家 是吗 -不是 - You're not a virologist, are you? - No.
-你是精神科医生 -是的 - You're a psychiatrist? - Yes.
不过她很厉害 But she's excellent.
-亲爱的 -进展如何 - Hi, honey. - How did it go?
他们还没听说任何疫情爆发 Well, they haven't heard about any outbreaks,
但他们可能在追赶我 but they might be chasing me.
-你有什么事 -卡尔来电话了 - What's up? - Carl called.
-买家想现在来 -现在 你怎么说的 - And the buyers want to come now. - Now? What did you tell him?
叫他闭嘴 To shut the fuck up.
天啊 你不能再对人这么说了 Oh, God. You gotta stop saying that to people.
他总是在吼 我现在不喜欢了 Well, he's always yelling. I don't like it anymore.
好 别动 我45分钟后到 All right, stay put. I'll be there in 45 minutes.
-你吃东西了吗 -我不饿 - Did you eat today? - I wasn't hungry.
我已经到他们的房子了 And I'm already at the listing.
天 我马上就过去 尽量别骂人 Christ. Okay, I'm on my way. Try not to swear at anybody.
-去死吧 我不是笨蛋 -对 就这样 - Fuck you, I'm not an idiot. - There you go. Like that.
我觉得你该吃点东西 你知道你饿了会怎样 I think you should eat something. You know how you get.
我不能再吃肉了 I can't eat meat anymore.
什么意思 你只能吃肉啊 What do you mean? That's all you can eat.
我努力了一早上了 I've been trying all morning,
自从吃了加里后 我就吃不下去这些了 and it repulses me since I've had Gary.
可我们不能开始杀人 Well, we can't start killing people.
我们要让生活重回正轨 We're getting life back to normal.
而杀人就偏离了正轨 亲爱的 And killing people isn't normal, sweetheart.
-我知道 -那就吃啊 - I know. - Then dig in!
要是我吃了人肉后就再也无法自拔了怎么办 What if, once I've tasted human flesh, I can't go back?
也许跟新鲜度有关 而不是人 Okay. Maybe it's the freshness of it, not the human-ness.
因为加里非常新鲜 Because Gary was super fresh.
也许你只能吃刚被杀死的动物 Maybe you can only eat an animal if it's just been killed.
可能是这个原因吗 Could that be it?
-万一不是呢 -万一是呢 - What if it's not? - What if it is?
我只知道我饿了 All I know is that I'm getting hungry.
你昨天才吃了 You ate yesterday.
谢了 食品警察 你每天都吃 Thank you, food police. You eat every day.
他们来了 That's them.
我来负责说话 我觉得这样最好 Let me take the lead. I really think that'll work best.
好吧 我尽力 Okay, I'll try.
只是不确定我还能不能抑制住自己 I'm just not sure holding back is my thing anymore.
-万一能呢 -万一不能呢 - What if it is? - What if it's not?
万一 What if it...?
-你们好 -欢迎 - Hi! - Welcome!
-加里呢 -没人知道 - Where's Gary? - No one knows.
-这很加里 -任性 - Which is so Gary. - Wild.
你感觉还好吗 Are you feeling okay?
-好得很 -她感觉很好 - Totally. - She's great.
我们会好好招待你们的 We're gonna take such good care of you.
你们还记得漂亮的主卧 And you remember the beautiful master bedroom,
朝南的窗户 with south-facing windows
永不玷污的长绒地毯吧 and impossible-to-stain texture-plush carpeting.
我喜欢这间屋子 Mm, I love this room.
那你们就买下来吧 连同其他所有屋子 Then you should buy it, along with all the other rooms.
莱斯莉 比尔 你们在干什么 Leslie, Bill, what are you doing?
-你说什么 -你说什么 - Excuse me? - Excuse me?
这是你们第四次看房了 This is your fourth time here.
-拜托 -亲爱的 - I mean, come on. - Honey...
这是个不小的投资 我们挺不安的 We're just nervous about such a big investment.
听着 生活是这样的 Look, here's the deal with life.
不管我们有多想去控制它 No matter how much we want to control it,
我们无法总是知道它会带我们走向何处 we can't always know where it's going to take us.
改变很可怕 是吧 亲爱的 Change is scary. Right, sweetheart?
我们去看厨房吧 Let's look at the kitchen.
每个人都害怕改变 Everyone is afraid of change,
但当生活喊着"这是你们新的真理" but when life is screaming, "This is your new truth,"
你就得接受它 大胆勇敢 you need to accept it, be bold, be brave,
不管是什么 活出你的新真理 and live your new truth, no matter what it is.
我还想说 Okay, I would just add that
有时我们或许会觉得生活在告诉我们真理 sometimes we may think life is telling us our truth,
但我们可能还没有获得足够的信息 but we might not have enough information yet.
所以很有必要去考察所有选择 So, it's important to explore all the options
在做出疯狂举动前详尽研究每一种可能 and exhaust every possibility before doing something crazy.
但是 当然 你们应该买下这座房子 But, of course, you should buy this house.
这是鸡在叫吗 Is that a rooster?
让人安心 就像在农场一样 Comforting, like being on a farm.
这很吵 尤其是在早上 Uh, actually, loud. Especially first thing in the morning.
要不你去隔壁瞧瞧 Maybe you should go next door, see what that's about.
看看那只鲜活的鸟 Check out that very live bird.
没问题 因为我 I'll do that because I, too,
也想找到解决此事的简单办法 would like to find a simple solution to this problem.
房主已经拒绝了好几个人的报价了 The owners have had a few offers fall through,
所以他们很积极 so they're very motivated.
我带你们去厨房吧 这次说话算数 I'm taking you to the kitchen and I mean it this time.
谢谢你陪我翘课 I appreciate you ditching with me.
但我对漫画不太感兴趣 I'm just not sure a comic book store is gonna be my thing.
你好比是在说 That's like saying every world
你对你能想象出的每个世界都不感兴趣 you could ever imagine isn't your thing.
这里很棒 你会喜欢的 This place is great. You're gonna really like it here.
-邦辰你好 -三十秒 艾瑞克 - Hey, Bunchen. - Thirty seconds, Eric.
不买书的话 We can't read anything
我们不能看超过三十秒 for more than 30 seconds without buying it.
-这是艾比 -你好 - This is Abby. - Hey.
三十秒 Thirty seconds.
他是艺术史硕士 和他妈妈住一起 所以 He has a master's in art history and lives with his mom, so...
他挺暴躁的 he's pretty angry.
夜疾行者 Night Scurrier.
一个住在沼泽最深处的泥浆中的丑陋变异人 A hideous mutant lives in sludge at the bottom of a swamp,
他羞于见人 where he feels nothing but shame.
他只是需要遇见那个她 Aww. He just needs to meet the right girl.
是的 但这很难 因为他身体大部分是海草 Yeah. It's just hard because he's mostly seaweed.
-你还好吗 -为什么每个人都要问这个 - So how are you doing? - Why does everyone keep asking me that?
我不知道别人为什么问 I don't know why other people do,
我问是因为你看到 but I'm asking because you saw
你父母把一个被吃掉半截的尸体刨进洞里 your mom and dad scrape a half-eaten dead guy into a grave.
拜托 我有次撞见我祖父母在小屋里换衣服 Please. I once walked in on my grandparents changing in a cabana.
那才叫刺激 That was intense.
再说 我爸妈希望我们的生活能重回正轨 Besides, Mom and Dad want our lives to go back to normal,
所以我想现在我们正朝这个方向努力 so I guess that's what's happening.
三十秒 Thirty seconds!
父母总是想要正常的生活 Parents always want life to be normal.
我父母离婚的时候 When my mom and dad got divorced,
我妈说一切都会跟以前一样 my mom said everything would be the same,
然而并没有 but nothing was.
我爸远走高飞 My dad left town
而我妈嫁给了一个可恶的傻逼王八蛋 and my mom married a horrible dickwad shithead asshole
她还觉得我对他太吹毛求疵 who she thinks I'm too critical of.
《僵妈》 这本书不好看 Mombie. That's not a good one.
-没事 我没事 -这跟你妈妈不一样 艾比 - It's okay. I'm-- I'm okay. - That's nothing like your mom, Abby.
你妈妈也许会永远这样 Your mom may stay exactly like she is
一切都会平安无事 forever and everything will be fine.
我知道 我只是看看而已 I know. I'm just looking at it.
-三十秒 -有什么关系 邦辰 - Thirty seconds! - What does it matter, Bunchen?
-艾瑞克 -明白 - Eric! - It's all good.
别看了 艾比 看看《诺伊尔·斯考维克罗德》 Uh, come on, Abby. Here, check out Njor Skuvelkrodd.
这是荷兰的 超赞 It's from the Netherlands. Brilliant stuff.
诺伊尔迷失在时空中 成了自己的爱人 Njor gets lost in time and becomes his own lover.
僵妈吃家里养的狗 为什么 Mombie eats the family dog? Why would she do that?
因为她是疯子 没有任何意义 Because she's crazy. It doesn't mean anything.
我们去海滩吧 Hey, why don't we go to the beach, huh?
三十秒到了 艾瑞克的朋友 Thirty seconds, Eric's friend.
艾比 我叫艾比 Abby. My name is Abby.
叫艾比啊 真是改变了一切 Oh, Abby. Well, that changes everything.
-我买了 -不 我还没决定要不要买 - I'll buy it. - No, I haven't decided if I want it yet.
三十秒 为什么有这么难 Thirty seconds. Why is that so hard...?
也许我今天就是 Maybe I just don't feel like
不想循规蹈矩 懂吗 邦辰 following all the rules today, okay, Bunchen?
行了 艾 艾比 Okay, wow. Abb... Hey, Abby...
没问题 艾比 你慢慢看 That's fine, Abby. You take all the time you need.
谢谢 Thank you.
你是对的 我确实喜欢这里 You were right. I do like it here.
很好 Good.
全新的 还有极速冷却功能 Brand-new. It has speed chill technology.
你可以在里面放一口热锅 So you can place a warm pot inside
而不用担心 without worrying about increasing
内部升温 the entire internal temperature.
同时我保证 And I've been assured
那只鸡将不会再打扰你们 that the rooster will no longer be a problem.
-非常感谢 再见 -再次谢谢 - Thank you so much. Bye. - Thanks again.
我们会立刻告知房主你们的报价 We'll get your offer in right away.
我们成功了 拿到了报价 We did it! We got an offer!
我们拿到了报价 你还吃了东西 对吧 We got an offer! And you ate, right?
而且报价很不错 And it's a good offer, too.
是的 很不错 你吃了东西 对吧 Yeah, it's great. And you ate, right?
我激动死了 I'm so excited!
我们应该上蹦下跳 We should jump up and down.
每次拿到一份报价 我们就这么干 Maybe make it our new thing whenever we get an offer.
你吃了那只鸡 对吗 So you ate the rooster, right?
因为我也想上蹦下跳 Because I also want to jump up and down.
你就跳起来啊 Then you should do it!
我们卖出了房子 我们可以养小鸡 Ohh! We sold a house! And we can raise chickens,
或者小羊羔 前提是我们不爱上它们 or maybe a lamb, if we don't get emotionally attached.
-怎么了 -我吃不下那只鸡 - What? - I couldn't eat the rooster.
可是 But...
我都跳起来了 I jumped.
对不起 我希望你开心 哪怕只是一小会儿 I'm sorry. I wanted you to be happy, even for a minute.
但它就像加里一样是鲜活的 But it was alive, like Gary.
是 但加里太好吃了 Yeah, but Gary tasted so good.
再次强调 蛋蛋很小 Again, tiny balls.
我们不能杀人 希拉 We can't kill people, Sheila.
我知道 I know.
要是我只吃他们的一部分 What if I just ate pieces of people,
然后放他们走呢 不行 这更糟 and then we let them go? No, that's worse.
-跟我来 -去哪儿 - Come with me. - Where?
我带你去吃晚餐 I'm taking you to dinner.
-这地方好瘆人 -我们也一样啊 - This place is creepy. - Yeah, well, so are we.
什么事 Yeah?
我给你一百块 I'm just gonna give you $100,
作为你开门的钱 and that's just for opening the door.
-这是我老婆 -你好 - This is my wife. - Hello.
我们需要一具尸体 We need a body.
你们要操它吗 You gonna fuck it?
是的 我们要操它 Yes, we're gonna fuck it.
操一整夜 All night long.
这要多少钱 So... what would that cost?
我们想把它带走 因为我们很害羞 We'd want to take it with us, of course, because we're shy.
你们得多给钱 因为你们有两个人 Well, you know, it's gonna cost extra 'cause there's two of you.
这也太霸道了吧 That seems arbitrary.
你要是去租车 你不会按人付钱 If you're renting a car, you don't pay per person.
要是你们两人都要操那就得按人付钱 You do if both people are fucking it.
-直接开个价吧 -五千 现金 - Just tell us how much. - Five grand. Cash.
-五千 老天 -你爱好很贵 小白脸 - Five grand. Jesus! - You got an expensive hobby, lover boy.
再给你四百能买到什么 What can we get for... another $400?
以及一张星巴克星享卡 And a Starbucks card.
好美味 看着不错 Yum! Looks good.
不行 这肉太老了还是怎么的 I can't. The meat's too old or something.
拜托 亲爱的 Come on, sweetie.
这是我为你买过的最贵的肉 It's the most expensive meal I ever bought you.
-闻着像化学药品 -求你把脚吃了 - It smells like chemicals. - Please eat the foot.
-不行 -求你吃了 - I can't. - Please, eat it.
把脚吃了 把脚吃了 把该死的脚吃了 Eat the foot! Eat the foot! Eat the goddamn foot!
对不起 我吼了你 I'm sorry I yelled at you.
过去的24小时压力重重 It's been a stressful 24 hours.
-为什么我会遇到这种事 -我不知道 - Why is this happening to me? - I don't know.
你说可能是我在贾婆婆吃的蛤蜊造成的吗 Do you think it could be those clams I had at Japopo's?
不知道 I don't know.
我们别再去那儿了 从来就没好吃过 We shouldn't go back there anyway. The food's never been great.
我想念食物了 I miss food.
我真的饿了 Like, I'm seriously hungry.
我们要去杀人了 亲爱的 We're gonna kill people, sweetheart.
我们要去杀人让你吃 We're gonna kill people so you can eat them.
你不用陪着我 亲爱的 You don't have to do it with me, honey.
从高中起我们就在一起了 We've been Joel and Sheila since high school.
我不会在现在抛弃你 I'm not gonna bail on you now.
那么 So...
我们杀谁呢 who do we kill?
-亲爱的 -你还好吗 - Hey, sweetie. - Are you okay, honey?
怎么了 What's up?
一切都不会恢复正常了 是吗 Things aren't ever going to be normal again, are they?
-当然会 -只是有几个小变化而已 - Of course they are. - It's just a few little changes.
比如车子 Like the car.
我们跟你说了我们打算把车留下了吗 Did we tell you we're keeping the car?
这会是个很好的变化 That's gonna be a great change.