- Good morning.
Juliet Cranbourne on KOFF a.m. radio in Fireside,
where no strangers are known.
We never take the last cookie.
We mind our children and our neighbors' business.
Wow.
I just had to play this song, y'all.
It was my little sister's favorite.
I am feelin' emotionally hijacked today, y'all,
but the good Lord never gives you more than you can handle,
now does He?
Here I been thinkin' that my life was full,
when in all actuality,
well, I just been busy, which really just hides
what's really goin' on, now doesn't it?
Like how hard it was for me, losing Ruby two years ago and,
well now, with Walt's sudden illness and all, I...
Havin' a moment of introspection.
Or what the Greeks like to call a--
- Omphaloskepsis.
- And to top it off with it a Bing cherry,
my sister, Evangeline can't bring herself to come home.
Now, don't that just beat all?
- You girls know I'm leavin' tomorrow.
- Yes, Daddy.
- Going to Vietnam to serve our country.
- That's right.
Which means I need you to be good.
Take care of your momma while I'm gone.
- When you comin' home?
- Soon as they let me.
I want you girls to know I'll be thinkin' about you,
day and night.
- Are you gonna look for the North Star while you're gone?
- Yes, my little squirrel.
The North Star is like God's lamppost,
shines so bright.
You see it?
- Yes.
There.
- Atta girl.
- I don't see nothin'.
- Hey baby girl.
Here.
Follow the constellation.
Follow it to the North Star, right there.
- Now I see it.
- That a girl.
Now, anytime you girls are missin' me,
I want you to look up at the Big Dipper
and follow it to the North Star.
You'll know Daddy's gonna find his way home to his girls.
I love you girls.
Come on.
- Evangeline, it's my turn.
Let me on.
- No, push me higher.
- It's my turn.
- Whiney baby.
I ain't done yet.
- Are too.
Just because Dad is gone doesn't mean
you can do anything you want.
- Stop!
- Then get off!
- Stop, Juliet.
Stop.
- Can't make me.
- Cut it out.
- No!
- Stop!
- Sid?
Hey.
It's Margo Milford.
Remember me?
- Stop, I'm gettin' sick.
- I don't care.
- Yes, yes I did.
I married a wonderful man.
He's a helicopter pilot.
- Cut it out!
- Rabbit, let me on.
- He's in Vietnam.
- Stop!
You're makin' me sick.
- Is it my turn now, smarty pants?
- Yes, we did.
We had two girls.
Two very different,
out of control girls.
Sid, listen.
I want to come back to New York.
This small town life is killing me.
I don't know, just...
background singer?
Coffee shop?
No.
Just me.
Really?
Oh, that'd be great.
Oh, Sid.
Thanks.
Girls.
Girls, come on.
You're going to see your grandparents.
Sounds like fun, huh?
- We're gonna go see Mamaw.
- Hat off in the house.
- I'm sorry.
What in tarnation?
- This can't be good.
Marguerite, what brings you here?
- We need to talk.
- Are you all right, sweetie?
- Girls, hop out.
You're gonna spend a few days with Mamaw and Popo.
- Oh well, how nice.
- Hey, how 'bout a little sugar for Popo?
You want somethin' cold to drink?
- Yeah.
- Lemonade?
- Yeah.
Come on.
- I don't understand.
- I can't do this anymore.
I need to get my singing career back on track.
- And leave your girls?
Well, what about James?
Have you told him?
Wait.
You can't just leave without
sayin' goodbye to your children.
- Everything's here.
Clothes, shoes, dolls, toothbrushes,
it's all here.
Girls.
I'll be back after I get a few things sorted out.
- Don't go Mama, don't go.
- I love you, now be good,
be good for Mamaw and Popo.
- Don't go.
Promise we'll be good.
- We won't fight anymore. - Don't go!
- We'll do just what you say.
- Listen.
You just behave.
Okay?
- Don't go.
Don't go, don't go.
- Let go of the car.
- Take me with you.
- Come here, come on.
- Evangeline.
- Mama!
- Evangeline!
- Evangeline.
- Evangeline!
- Don't go!
Mama.
Hello, you guessed it.
I'm not here.
Leave me a message.
If I like you, I might call you back.
- Evangeline, I know you're there.
Pick up.
Evangeline.
Call me.
The population of Fireside has just dwindled.
Woody Davis, age 92 has just changed his address
to the sweet by and by.
I imagine Woody is playing checkers
with St. Peter himself right now,
and for those of you who are interested,
former Fireside resident William Bartlett,
now world-famous architect, has been sighted
at Densesky's lunch counter havin' himself
a grilled cheese sandwich.
Don't burn your chin on that hot cheese, Willie.
- Mama's gonna be pleased seein'
that we're such a big help.
- I can set the table and even make toast.
- You are like two big, fluffy sponges
just soakin' everything up.
- She's gonna be home soon and we'll surprise her
with our wealth of knowledge.
- Alright, here we go.
There you are.
- Oh Walt, could you find a different box?
That one's just not fittin'.
- Well, it's the only one big enough.
You want me to mail that cake to Elvis today,
it's gonna have to do.
- It's not for us?
Ain't we havin' it after lunch?
- Sugar, I baked that special for the King.
Peanut butter, bananas and chocolate.
You just stay as sweet as you are
and I'll make one for you, too.
- I'll tell ya what.
After lunch, maybe we'll go into town
and get some ice cream.
- Yes.
- Hey Walt.
- Oh hey, Norman.
Selma, I'd like you to meet my gran--
These are James' girls.
Ummm.
Mouthbreather here is Evangeline A.K.A. Rabbit
and the one staring at you real hard like
is Juliet, better known as Squirrel.
- Well, it is a pleasure to meet you both.
Such beauties.
Now tell me, Walt, what is it that I can do for you?
- I got another package to go to Elvis.
- Oh.
Well, is it goin' to Graceland just like the last one?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Is it well packed?
- Yes, it's, I packed it all myself.
- Oh, okay.
- Yes, we're just gonna yeah,
drop that off and we're gonna
head over to the lunch counter.
Come on girls.
Come on.
Let's go.
- Thank you.
Oh, you all right?
- Betcha five dollars and an Eskimo pie
she's got a lot of boyfriends.
- 33.
Flavors, not boyfriends and she can list 'em all by heart.
Brian, you wanna make that three chocolates, please?
Make mine a double.
You see, she's got what's called food memory.
She can tell you what she had
for lunch or dinner, any time, any year.
Selma.
How 'bout April 15th, 1961.
- Tax day.
Let's see.
I had a tunafish sandwich, a pickle,
one, no, two apples and a glass of milk.
As a side note, pickles and milk
do not go too good together.
- What about
July 8th
1959.
- Lunch or dinner?
- Dinner.
- Pork chops, two of them, fried, with applesauce,
a Waldorf salad,
thank you, Brian, ooh and a sweet potato casserole
with little nuts on top and those marshmallows.
It was to die for.
- Thank you, Brian.
There we go.
Mmm.
- Well?
- Well, she said a airmail special delivery
should get there sometime tomorrow.
Girls, let's get this tea to the table.
That smells delicious.
- Well, it looks like you two had a good time today.
And where is your mustache, mister?
Mmm, chocolate fudge.
- He had two scoops.
- Hey, are you girls settlin' in just fine here?
- Yes, sir.
- Well then, don't rat me out to Mamaw.
She spent the better part of the afternoon
gettin' this meal ready and we need to be grateful,
even if we're not that hungry.
- Oh, stop.
Alright.
Let's see.
- Get 'em up here.
Lord, we thank You for this day of life
and for these two girls and their parents.
I thank You for my beloved Ruby who spent the day
makin' this meal and we ask You to bless this food
for the nourishment of our bodies.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
- Amen.
- My two sweet peas.
I'm doin' well.
I miss you more than you'll ever know.
- Cranbourne.
What you doin' in there?
- Writin' my girls.
- Again?
Man, you keepin' the postal service in business.
Look, you, me and the helicopter's gonna win this war.
Then we can go home.
- Amen to that.
Let's go home, Sarge.
- Hey.
- You're in fine hands with Mamaw and Popo.
They're saints.
I wish I could be there with you.
You girls are the brightest spot of my everyday.
- Stop swinging so fast, I'm gettin' sick.
- Well then, jump off.
I wanna finish readin' this.
- Will not.
He's my daddy, too.
- Well, I'll read it if you pipe down.
- You girls are the bright spot in my everyday.
Are you bein' good for Mamaw?
Are you helpin' with the chores?
You couldn't--
Be in a better place.
There's more love in the Cranbourne house
than anywhere else on Earth.
You two be good.
Keep your eyes on the North Star.
Every time I look in the sky I'll think of you.
- I'll be home before you know it.
Love, your daddy, James Cranbourne.
- Just push open the door.
There you go, go on in.
Don't let 'em out.
Now, do you girls know what egg money is?
- No.
- We make a little extra for spending on notions and such.
Here.
I made this special
for you.
Turn around.
There you go.
Okay, gimme this basket.
Now, come over here and get the eggs.
Go around there.
Let's go see.
Take a egg out.
Gentle.
Bring that over here, hurry girls.
- Hi there.
You Miss Ruby Cranbourne?
- I am.
Girls, don't touch this man's car.
- That's all right.
You were with the Jamboree Sisters, fiddle player.
- You'd played the fiddle?
- Well, yes I did, but that was a long time ago.
- Wow.
- Then this is your car, ma'am.
- Double wow.
- The King says if you are Miss Ruby Cranbourne,
fiddle player and cake baker,
this Cadillac belongs to you.
- The King?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Oh yeah, The King.
It's a 1959 Coupe de Ville.
It's the same make and model he got for his mama.
- All right.
Y'all have a good day.
Let's roll, Bobby.
- Mamaw, can we sit in it?
- Oh!
Oh!
What?
Dear Ruby, thank you very much.
Elvis!
Oh, Elvis sent me a Cadillac!
Oh, Walt, Walt!
Oh, Walt!
Walt, come see!
Oh, Elvis sent me a thank you Cadillac.
Oh!
- Well, well would you look at that?
- He remembered me.
All right, girls.
Come on out, go around front.
- Ruby, girl.
How in the world did you come by this?
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
- Elvis gave it to her.
- Elvis, you say?
Now, that's the beatenist thing I've ever seen.
- Well, Norman, you want these eggs or not?
- Oh yeah, yes, yes, yes, of course.
'Scuse me, I just never had eggs delivered
by Cadillac before.
All right, girls.
Time's a wastin'.
- I'll take five dozen.
- Oh good, here.
Take these for our customer.
- That is something
Now, you're not gonna charge me more
because of the Cadillac, are ya?
- This is the best day ever.
- Be careful!
- Let's see what we got here.
There's one, there's two, there's three.
I think that oughta do it.
- Great.
All right, here you go, girls.
Now, don't spend it all.
Try and hold some back.
Go on.
Go, go.
- This one's perfect for you.
- Lemme see.
I don't like it.
- This one.
- No, I don't like bows.
They got cowboy boots?
- Well, there are my pretty new friends.
Do y'all want some help?
Here, whatcha got?
I'm pretty good at budgeting and accessorizing.
- I see you've met my granddaughters.
- Hey Ruby, I sure have.
Yeah, Walt introduced me just the other day.
They are precious.
- Well, I have never seen the two of them
so at a loss for words before.
- What'd you have for dinner September 16th, 1964?
- Well, that was a Wednesday.
I had...
Fish sticks, cole slaw, corn on the cob and a root beer.
- With a frosty mug?
- Oh, that mug was so frosty, I wrote my name in the side.
- Well, that is remarkable.
Come on, girls.
We have three more stops to make.
- Well, if y'all need help spending that pen money,
you just let me know, all right?
- Come on.
Go on.
Come on.
Go, hey.
Watch out.
- Leave it on the step.
- Registered mail.
You gotta sign for it.
- Thanks.
- Mmm hmm.
- Dear Evangeline.
I write this with great urgency.
Walt's health is failing and I thought you'd wanna know.
I'm also sending you some recent broadcasts from KOFF.
It's always good to keep up with
what's happenin' in Fireside.
Come home.
We miss you.
Juliet.
- Walt.
- My daddy flies all kinds of lifesaving
rescue missions on his helicopter.
- He ain't no war hero.
- Is too.
- Is not.
And your mom's a good-for-nothin'.
I heard she up and left you.
You ain't got nobody, orphan.
- Hey!
Don't mess with my sister!
Ah!
- Hey.
Leave her alone.
- What's it to ya, mama's boy?
- I'll tell ya what, big guy.
I got some jawbreakers right?
Let her go, and you can have them.
- My sister can brag all the livelong day
about our daddy if she wants to.
- Last chance.
- Thanks for nothin'.
Suckers.
- One day I'm gonna leave Fireside far behind.
So I won't have to mess with people like him.
- I can never, on account of Ruby and Walt.
Break their hearts if I were to leave.
And who would take care of them one day when they're old?
- Juliet.
I'm gonna see the world.
- Well, we'll miss you, William Bartlett.
That's for sure.
- Then he threw me on the ground.
- Well, that young man needs to learn some lessons.
- Uh, oh.
Speakin' of which,
Rabbit, you ask someone to pass it to you.
- Mamaw, can you please pass the cookies?
- Show off.
- Oh!
Mercy.
Look what is crawling on these.
Walt, take a look.
- Cookies.
- Put your glasses on.
- Uh oh.
- Uh huh.
- Which one of you has head lice?
- Not me.
- You got cooties, you got cooties.
- Oh.
Don't get so high and mighty.
You both do.
- Want me to shear 'em?
Yes or no?
- No.
- All right.
Now you girls have to leave this on all day
and sleep in it.
- But Mamaw.
- Nope.
School nurse won't let you go back to school
until you are lice free.
It is in the handbook.
- My mama wouldn't make me do that.
- Mama ain't here.
- When she comes home,
I'm tellin' on all of y'all.
- Well, you do that Evangeline,
but until then, I am in charge.
- It's not fair.
- Life isn't always fair.
I'm gonna go shear those sheep.
You let me know if I need to add these two to the mix.
- You know what, girls?
I will let you in on a little secret.
Mayonnaise is one first class switch beauty conditioner.
- Really?
- Oh, sure.
It's what all the movie stars use
to keep their hair silky and shiny
like you see in the television commercials.
- Like the Frosted Flakes girl?
- Just like her.
And who knows?
Maybe some Hollywood talent agent will be passin'
through Fireside and he will scoop you two up
and put you in one of his TV shows.
All right, here we go.
Oh, it's not that bad.
- I have an idea.
- Come on, let's dance.
Let's dance.
Do the Jerk.
Hello, Mother Cranbourne.
Mel, how are you?
- Have you people lost your minds?
What's on these girls' heads?
- Hellman's.
- Hellman's?
Whatever for?
- Head lice.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
Why don't you just bob 'em close to the scalp?
- I'm not that mean.
- This place needs my supervision
and my unfailing good judgment.
I believe,
I believe I'm gonna stay here
for the rest of my life.
- You can't leave her here.
- You got to take her off my hands or Nadine will leave me.
- Well, I have these two girls to raise.
Mel, we only have two bedrooms.
- Mama has congestive heart failure.
She won't last more than a couple of months.
- Oh, woman that mean, she could live forever,
just outta spite.
I am not kiddin'.
Take her back.
- We've done our time.
Now it's up to you and Walt.
- I got cooties from y'all.
- Nuh uh.
We got 'em from you.
Juliet!
Help!
- Leave her alone!
- Hey!
You still pickin' on little girls?
- You're sweet on her, ain't ya?
- Pick on somebody your own size.
A fat goat,
'cause you already smell like one.
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Say uncle.
- Uncle!
- It hurts.
- I know, I know.
Good heavens, there's Popo.
- Shout for him to come fetch us.
- He's busy.
Don't scratch your eyes or you'll make it worse.
- Well, slowpoke, what's he doin'?
- I was wrong.
It's not Walt.
- Who is it, then?
- Just some man who looks like Popo.
- How do you know for sure?
- 'Cause he ain't actin' like him
and he's not nearly as handsome.
- An alien kidnapped your mother.
- Smells like stinky cheese and mothballs.
- Shh.
- I can hear you.
Do you hear them, George?
- Mama, you all right?
You see, Daddy's gone.
He's been dead over some 40 years.
- I just saw him a minute ago.
He was polishing his shoe.
He was always so dapper.
George, why did you leave me?
- Where'd he go?
- Across the river.
- Mama.
I got that fence I'm gonna mend.
- Where's the broiling pan?
I gotta bake a chicken.
- You don't, Mother Cranbourne, this is my kitchen.
Why don't you sit down and rest
and I'll do all the cookin'?
- I'm gonna do the cookin'.
Your cooking's not fit to eat.
From now on, I'm gonna prepare all the meals.
- She is never gonna be happy here.
- It's not her nature to be happy.
Anywhere.
- This is the most ill-stocked kitchen I've ever seen.
How do you ever get a meal on the table?
- Mommy, Mommy, you and Ruby try to get along here,
all right and girls, you behave.
I'm just gonna...
Oh, I love you.
- I'm cookin' dinner, I'm gonna--
- Why don't you just rest and don't,
you don't even have to,
don't,
Oh, Lord.
- To my loving family, things are good here.
They keep me pretty busy, which helps time to pass.
Army food leaves a lot to be desired.
- And I sure do miss Mamaw's good home cookin'.
- He wouldn't say that if he knew
that witchie poo's tryin' to take over the kitchen.
- But that's not all I miss.
I miss watching you girls grow up
and I miss the beautiful sunsets
and I miss your mama.
I think about you all the time
and I love you with all my heart.
Your daddy.
- You think Mama's ever comin' back?
Did we do somethin' wrong?
- I don't know, Rabbit.
I don't know.
- Read me Daddy's letter again.
- To my loving family.
Things are good here.
They keep me pretty busy, which helps the time pass.
Army food leaves a lot to be desired
and I sure do miss Mamaw's good home cookin'.
- Are just so many aren't there?
Now, you see that one?
Right out over there.
That's called the Big Dipper.
- Looks like a box with a tail.
- That's the handle, and that's the cup.
- That's right.
Now, if you draw a line from this star
over to this one over here and then go up
just a little, you're gonna find the North Star.
- Daddy says that if you follow the North Star,
you'll never get lost.
- That's right.
Let's see if we can find it.
So start over that far end,
go across, go up and up and up,
there it is, there it is, you see it?
Right just over the hills, there.
- It's beautiful.
- My daddy see the North Star from his helicopter?
- Well, he sure can.
I betcha he sees it every night.
- My mama can see it, too.
- I'm sure she does, just like you, sweetheart.
- So, if we're all looking up at the sky every night,
can we all see the North Star?
- Yeah, sure we can.
Just each of us looks at it a little different.
- If they can see the North Star,
then they can never lose their way back to us.
- You are two smart cookies.
- Speakin' of which, I just took some
fresh out of the oven, come on girls.
- Ooh wee.
- Yes!
- I'll be right with ya.
You're sittin' too close, girls.
Gonna ruin your eyes.
- Popo!
- I got somethin' for ya.
- New York City.
- Not much else to note other than this.
Oh, and uh...
This.
- Oh good, my seed catalogs.
- Which means I better till that garden of yours, huh?
- Well, what is it?
- It's from Mama.
Dear Juliet and Evangeline.
I have missed you both.
Here are the necklaces I had made to let you know
I am thinking of you.
Remember that I love you with all my heart.
Mind Ruby and Walt.
Do your best in school and don't let the skeeters
bite you in the night.
Love, Mama.
We can wear these to one of Mama's shows in New York.
- Is she comin' to get us?
- Didn't say.
But I'm hopin'.
- I'd rather have my mama than this darned old necklace.
- Me, too.
- Oh, are you okay, Mother Cranbourne?
- Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.
- Huh?
- Emily Dickinson.
Child, you need to know important worldly things
like great writers and great literature.
- If you say so.
- And never marry any man named George.
He will leave you and you will grow to love him
and hate him and miss him at the same time.
- I aim to marry a man named James, like my dad.
- Then, good choice.
James was the name of a king.
And you, Juliet?
- I won't marry at all.
- Well, then you'll have the potential
to fulfill your destiny.
What are you burning, Ruby?
It stinks to high heaven.
I want to cook a turkey for dinner.
- Girls, you keep an eye on her and do not let her drive
and do not let her near my stove.
That woman is gonna drive me to drink.
And I don't partake.
- Do we have a baster?
What is that glorious sound?
- I think it's Mamaw.
- Pardon my sanity in a world insane.
Emily Dickinson.
You girls really need to learn your literature.
- What are you two up to?
- Mama sent us necklaces.
- Oh, that's lovely,
just like all the young ladies wear.
What's goin' on up there?
Here ya go.
Shh.
Oh, hearing your Mamaw play again is like
hearing the angels sing.
- How'd she learn to sound so good?
- Back in the day, she used to play the Grand Old Opry.
- You mean, like, on the radio?
- Yep.
Shh, quiet now.
Just listen.
- The voice of Fireside, KOFF radio
coming to you live with 500 watts of power.
Hey there stranger.
What brings you to the station?
You got a heifer to sell?
- No, I got nothin' to sell.
But I do have a little favor to ask.
- What is takin' Popo so long?
We have errands to run.
- Can we go inside?
Please? - Yes, yes, open the door.
Walt.
- Oh no, Miss Alma, your dog just lit out for the hills.
- Little Bit got out?
Oh, Lord.
Walt you gotta help me find him.
My car's dead and that dog is fast.
- We'll take the caddy.
- Ruby, you start playin' your fiddle right over there--
But I didn't bring my fid--
- Yes, you did.
- You're probably the better reader.
Hot shot, you flip this red switch
whenever Ruby starts playin' and sunshine,
if you'll just read those wire feeds if she stops, okay?
I don't want any dead air on my station.
- Alma, Alma, it's been years since I played
with my sisters.
I wouldn't know where to start.
I can't do--
- I knew that you wouldn't come down here
if I told you the truth, so--
- Time's wastin'.
Come on, let's find my baby.
- Get in the car, get in that car.
Just start out with somethin' simple.
It'll all come back to ya.
Play for me.
Keys in the car?
- Yes.
- Play.
- Walt!
You--
- Come on!
- I'm coming.
- Walter Cranbourne.
- Little Bit!
- I'm itchin' to hit that red switch.
- Doggone it, I have to tune up.
Juliet, read whatever's on the papers in front of ya.
- Howdy.
Ummm..
This is...
Uh, Sunshine Cranbourne talkin'.
- Her name ain't sunshine, nothin'.
It's Squirrel.
She ain't been sunshine any day of her life.
- Give it!
Miss Alma's dog, Little Big, has run off
into the streets of Fireside.
She's doggone.
- Get it?
- If you find her, please bring her back to the station.
- Little Bit!
- Getting engaged?
The folks at the Fireside Inn have--
- It's probably better I'm not there, anyway.
Just make her nervous.
- Little Bit!
- The lucky bride and groom will be entitled
to a special V.I.P. guest treatment,
fresh linens on even numbered days
and hot sticky cinnamon buns and coffee on odd ones.
- Now, here's Fireside's own Ruby Cranbourne
and her fancy fiddle to play
some of your all-time favorites.
- Wait, wait, wait, is that--
no.
It's a rock.
- Do you wanna stop snoring?
Milton's flesh colored geckos are trained
to sit on the nostrils exerting just the right amount
of pressure to stop snoring.
My great-grandma could use one for sure.
- Why, she snores so loud even the china
in the cupboard rattles.
- Well, if it isn't the new voice of Fireside.
Look who I found run into my front yard?
- Oh, Little Bit.
Miss Alma's gonna be so happy to see you.
Miss Alma, Miss Alma, come on back.
Little Bit's here full of vinegar and spit.
- Come on, pick up.
Can't be that mad at me.
Evangeline, pick up.
Pick up.
- Hello.
You guessed it.
I'm not here.
Leave me a message.
If I like you, I might call you back.
- Evangeline.
Hey, it's important.
Okay, it's very, very important.
You need to call me back.
It's about Walt.
Call me, please.
Please.
You know how hard it is to say
I'm sorry?
- Sugar, go get me that sugar.
- Okay.
- There you go.
- I'm going to the beach.
Does anybody wanna come along, hmm?
- Should we salute or something?
- That ain't legal to do that to the American flag.
My teacher says--
- Shh, shh, Evangeline.
- I told George I'd meet him there.
We're gonna build sand castles.
- Mamaw, she's at it again.
- Shh, shh.
- Is this normal for old people?
- Come with me, Mother Cranbourne.
I'll help you.
Come on.
Sandcastles.
- Sandcastles
in the beach.
- Ah, I think you'll enjoy this.
A nice day at the beach.
- Well, thank you dear.
How lovely.
Before you go, would you mind putting
some suntan lotion on me so I don't burn?
The sun burns my flesh.
- What are you doin', Rabbit?
- Life-guardin'.
Mamaw!
- What is it?
Oh.
- She's done gone flushed her panties down the toilet.
- Mother Cranbourne?
Do you need help?
- No.
- Come on, unlock this door for me now.
- Make that hell no.
- You are floodin' my house.
Dear Lord, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Oh, go get me a plunger and a mop and a bucket.
- Plunger's busted.
- What woman in her right mind flushes her underwear
down the only toilet in the house?
- I don't think she has her right mind, Mama.
- Ugh.
I should just let Popo clean up his mother's mess.
- Good thing we left her nappin'.
She's liable to do much worse than clog the toilet.
She could burn down--
- Oh, oh, oh, don't even say it.
Ah, Lord.
I look a fright.
I don't want anybody to see me like this.
You girls run into the hardware department
and get me a plunger, okay?
- Yes, ma'am.
- I will meet you up front at the register.
Oh come on, car, accelerate, accelerate.
- I see you brought your helpers.
- Yeah, they go everywhere I go.
- We got a real problem.
- I see.
- Mother Cranbourne flushed her panties down the--
- Well, let me get you rung up then.
I'm sure you're in a real big hurry.
- You girls get to do the dishes alone tonight.
- I'm sorry, Mamaw.
We were just having a good time.
- Mmm hmm.
Car.
Go.
You too.
Now.
Thank you.
- Thank you, Ruby.
- Mamaw, why you takin' care of that crazy old woman anyway?
- Hey, show some respect.
She is your great-grandmother.
But, to answer your question, I do it
because my conscience won't allow me not to.
Like it or not, Itasca is family.
- My conscience says I should have a cherry popsicle.
- What's a conscience?
- It's a little voice inside your head
that tells you the difference between right and wrong.
- Well, how does it know?
- Well, it's just a figure of speech.
Now,
do you want to know, really know, why I help her?
- Yes, ma'am.
- No one should be left without somebody
to take care of 'em.
That is why I am taking care of Mother Cranbourne
and you two.
I don't think I been doin' a very good job of it lately.
- No, Mamaw, you're a blue ribbon.
Me and Evangeline are the messes.
- Oh no, child.
The good Lord does not make messes.
You two are perfect
and beautiful as mayflowers.
- Great grandmama, she was beautiful, wasn't she?
- Yes.
- Bet you Mama's up in New York singing 'til early mornin'.
- I know you girls miss her a lot.
- Every day.
- Well, I promise you,
we are gonna love you through this for better or worse.
Lately with Mother Cranbourne, I haven't exactly
been at my better.
Everything has just been jumpin' up and down on my nerves.
- We love you, Mamaw.
Have you ever thought about what you'd do
if something happened to Popo?
- What on Earth would make you ask such a question?
- Havin' no mom and daddy, for one thing.
- I do not have an answer for that.
I truly don't.
- George, is that you?
- No, Mother Cranbourne, it's Ruby.
Are you okay?
- George, the boys need shoes for school.
They've outgrown everything and Walt has an earache.
He had to go to the doctor.
- Mother, everything is gonna be okay.
- George, it's been ages since I've seen you.
- Mamaw, why is she always talkin' crazy
and talkin' about George?
- Oh, she misses him very much.
- No, she hates him very much.
- Well, she loved him dearly.
- She said she wouldn't even swap sandwiches with that man,
and that he took a Greyhound Bus across the river
into Kingdom Come and left her without a penny.
She told me that.
- Honey, Kingdom Come is heaven.
George died and left her broke and alone
to raise your Popo and your Uncle Mel.
- All this time, I thought she was just plum mad at him.
He couldn't help it, could he?
- The human heart doesn't always make good sense.
In fact, not a lot of stuff in this world makes good sense.
Mop.
- Hi.
- I've sent notes.
I've called, I've left messages.
I don't where she is.
- Well...
Evangeline's a free and independent spirit.
Sometimes strangers don't like to come home.
- I am gettin' closer, Walter Cranbourne,
and in honor of you and Mother Cranbourne,
a little Walt Whitman.
Afoot and lighthearted
I take on the road.
Healthy, free,
the world in front of me.
- Ruby used to always say pay attention
to what's going on around you in this life,
or you're liable to miss something really important.
- All right, bedtime girls.
- I don't wanna go to bed.
- Oh, what Mamaw says, let's go.
- Again, again.
- You two have to get some sleep.
You have school in the mornin' and you have
your school pictures.
- Popo, will you tuck me in forever?
- Cross my heart and hope to die.
- Oh, you must never wish for that.
- But if I may and if I might, my heart is open for tonight.
Though my lips are sealed and a promise is true,
I won't break my word, my word to you.
- That's real nice.
- Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.
- Get in there snug as a bug.
- Goodnight.
- Hey, Selma.
- How you doin, Walt?
Girls.
- Girls, you get, grab a seat there.
I'm gonna get some epoxy.
Put it on my tab.
- This is the best.
- Hiya, Dixie.
- What can I get for you two?
- Banana sundae for me.
- Double that.
- She's a commie.
Up to no good.
- You got a little...
- Better?
- Yeah.
- What's a commie?
- Shh.
- All right, there you go.
- Y'all wanna come to my house for a sleepover?
You can be a part of the Fireside Spy Club,
and I can tell you more about her.
- We're in.
- You are the prettiest girl I know.
- Pretty as Selma Davis?
- Who?
What that? Woman over at Densesky's?
- Oh, you know exactly who I mean.
- Oh, Okay, let me see.
- You are the prettiest.
- That just ain't normal.
- I don't think it's their first time
kissin' like that, either.
Ugh.
- Ewww, gross.
- You two.
Get to bed, or, or...
- Popo will have to kiss you again.
- Evangeline Cranbourne, you are the aggrivatinest
child I believe I have ever met.
Come on, girls.
Get to bed.
Come on.
- Come on, girls.
Get in here, get in here.
All right, look.
I got an errand to do at the post office here
before I drop you girls off at your sleepover.
You just sit tight.
- Did you see that?
She's a siren, that one is.
- What's a siren?
- An enchanting, dangerous creature
that lures sailors and men.
- Even Popo?
- They're up to no good and no man can resist them.
Shush, here he comes.
- Looky here.
All the way from New York City.
- Did she send a note?
- It says, dear girls.
I miss you every day.
Since you're growing so much, here's some new clothes.
I can picture you both so beautiful and sweet.
Listen to Walt and Ruby and do as you're told.
Love, Mama.
- Well, that was real nice.
'Specially the listenin' part.
All right, let's go.
I want you girls to be real good
for Dixie's folks, all right?
Mamaw will be here to pick you up for church
first thing in the morning.
- We can wear our new outfits.
- Sure can.
Up we go.
- My first sleepover!
- Come in, girls.
Dixie's upstairs doin' God knows what.
Come on.
- You be good, now.
- All right girls.
Want you to go to sleep,
not a peep outta ya, behave.
- Cotton-pickin' communist.
- What's a communist?
- Well, I don't know exactly, but,
I know she aint' like us.
She's a weirdo and that's all I need to know.
- Miss Selma ain't weird.
- Oh yeah?
Why ain't she never got remarried?
- Maybe she just hasn't found Mr. Right yet.
- Well, I know she's datin' a spy
that sneaks around here at night.
I seen 'em on the front porch smoochin'.
- Really?
- And I know she codes secrets for him.
I found a bunch of shredded paper in her garbage.
I got a lot goin' on upstairs.
You'd be amazed what I found out goin' through her trash.
- Like what?
- Like a rolled up pair of stockings without no runs.
And then there was a hairnet.
- Ms. Selma wouldn't get caught dead in a hairnet.
Every body knows that.
- Communist spies are devious.
They live to fool people.
- What do communists do, besides throwing out
perfectly good hose and hairnets?
- That's what we know.
What we don't know is what they do behind closed doors.
Man your battle stations.
- Popo?
- Time to drape some commies.
He's done left and she's off to bed.
Time to strike while the iron's hot.
- What does that mean?
- I don't know.
I heard it in a movie once.
This just ain't finished.
- What are we gonna do?
We ran out of supplies.
- We've got to wet it down.
- They simply do not make children the way they used to.
- Get up now!
- You two, grounded for a month.
You are gonna clean every scrap of paper
and finish before Miss Selma gets home from church.
- Can we eat first?
- No.
You have used up your quota for misbehavin'
for about a month.
- Why isn't Dixie helpin' us?
This is all her--
- I am not raisin' that child.
I am raisin' you two.
Go.
Clean.
Rake.
Now.
- Done.
- Good.
Your next chore will be to watch your great-grandmother.
- Do we have to?
- Yes, you will read her stories
and keep her outta my hair the rest of the day.
I am gonna go work in my garden
and I don't wanna think about anything else.
- This is a nell of a hess.
- Excuse me, young lady.
I will wash your mouth out with soap.
Now, get going.
Let's go.
Go on.
- Come in, George.
- I thought you might like some company.
Go on, girls.
Girls.
- I have so much to tell you.
Go to that drawer.
Go on.
Open it.
Bring it here, dear.
Both of you.
I won't bite, come here!
Oh.
There's your grandfather,
and your great grandfather.
Aren't they handsome?
- That's Popo?
- Walter Cranbourne, age 4.
- Who's that?
- That's me!
- You were a dancer?
- Oh, for years.
I danced at the Mariinsky Theater in St. Petersburg.
I traveled all across Europe, performing.
I was having the time of my life, and then...
One night in Chicago.
There was a man in the second row.
Tall, and smart and I was,
I was completely swept away.
Such a gentleman, my George.
I so love to dance.
- Me, too.
- Oh no, child.
You must remain upright.
Tilt your head, like this.
And your hand like this.
I wish I could teach you.
- I have an idea.
- If I could shellac a few hours of my life
and press 'em in a memory book for eternity,
this would have been the one.
Sometimes, in our minds,
the past is better than the present.
Speakin' of the past, let's all welcome
Willy William Bartlett home.
He was last spotted at the VFW playin' a game
of Texas Hold 'Em with Norman Densesky.
Ladies, let's give the town's most eligible bachelor
a real Fireside welcome.
Let's all bake him a cake or pie
and make him feel real special.
- Moon and star.
You are very far.
But were no one farther than you.
Emily Dickinson
I see you, North Star.
I've looked at you and followed you my whole life.
And...
You don't bring people back home.
- Say chubby bunny.
- Chubby bunny.
Say fat rabbit.
- Fat rabbit.
- Come on.
- Say chubby bunny.
Where'd you go, Rabbit?
- Look, come here.
- What?
I got one.
- Isn't she beautiful?
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna let her go, now.
- Stay with me.
Stay with me.
Oh, you better not, you better not!
Cranbourne!
- Now, she's free.
- Walt.
- Mr. Walter Cranbourne?
I regret to inform you that your son,
Lieutenant James Nelson Cranbourne
is reported as killed in action in
Qu?ng Tr? Province, Vietnam.
On the behalf of the Secretary of Defense...
- Those men were talking about Daddy.
- Daddy's gone to heaven.
- He's never comin' back to get us?
Ever?
- No, Evangeline, he's never coming back.
- I can't read it.
Just tell me.
- Let's see.
It is with this Seargent Colvert, James was, when...
he was bushwhacked trying to medivac the wounded.
- He was always hardheaded and brave.
- Fallen soldier when he was shot.
He didn't lose consciousness and he never,
he never moaned or complained about the pain.
- He never complained about anything.
- Says here, the only sound they heard was gunfire, and
helicopters blades whirring like 1,000 birds' wings.
- He always loved birds, even crows.
- And that night he uh,
after helpin' this soldier and others who were wounded, he,
he died.
I gotta tend to the cows.
- Can I come, too?
- Not this time, Rabbit.
Ah, God.
Why!
Why, why, why!
Why, why!?
Why are You doing this to me!
Why?
Have I not done everything that You have asked of me?
Done everything in my power to hold this family together.
These children need to have their father!
Why?
Why!
Why?
Why James?
- What's a hero?
- Somebody who does something brave
that could get them killed.
- Popo said Daddy was a hero.
- Daddy's gone to heaven.
Do you understand?
He's never coming back.
- Do you think Mama will ever come back?
- I don't know.
We can hope.
Don't you worry, Rabbit.
I'll protect you.
I'll always be here for you.
- Popo.
Why do you have to go?
- I'm gonna get on a airplane.
I gotta visit somebody.
I'll be back real soon, I promise.
Hey, hey.
- Don't leave.
- Take care of her, take care of her.
- Don't go.
- I'll see ya on Sunday.
- Hello.
- Oh my gosh, how are you?
You 'bout just scared me to death.
- I'm sorry, I tried knockin' several times, but,
there's a couple layers of glass between you and me.
It's good to be home, here.
- It's been a long time.
- Too long.
I wanted to see you.
And I have 42 pies, minus this one.
Got any ideas?
- Just might.
We're having a bake sale here at KOFF radio today
for the Fireside Ladies Auxiliary,
so come on by and say hello to William Bartlett
and get yourself a fresh baked, homemade pie
and for a great cause.
Welcome back to the Fireside Poetry Hour.
I was readin' Emily Dickinson in honor
of our beloved Ruby, who passed away
and is dearly missed.
Because I could not stop for death,
he kindly stopped for me.
The carriage held but just ourselves in immortality.
- We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
- And I put away my labor
and my leisure, too--
- Ruby.
- With his civility.
- I miss Popo.
- I know honey, I do too.
- One, two, three.
- Ooh, sounds like the good Lord
and his bowling league are at it again.
I don't know how Mother Cranbourne
is sleeping through this.
Juliet, go check on her, will you please?
Uh oh.
No electricity means no phone.
Mother Cranbourne.
Girls, leave the room.
Your great-grandmother has passed.
I better call the Sheriff.
- Mamaw, you just said the phone ain't workin'.
- Oh, cheese and crackers.
- Don't worry Mamaw.
I'll vouch for you.
You didn't do anything.
You were with us the whole day.
- Oh.
- What's gonna happen to her?
- She's gonna be with her George.
- And our daddy?
- And your daddy.
All right, come on girls.
Gotta go.
Gotta go get the sheriff, let's go.
Go on.
I cannot think of a worse time for Walt to be gone.
There oughta be an 11th commandment.
Thy shalt not leave thy dyin' mother
with her daughter-in-law.
- Mamaw, isn't there a commandment about
not stealing your neighbor's husband?
- Excuse me?
- Mamaw, Popo ain't home 'cause he's probably
with that Selma woman.
- What are you talking about?
- We saw 'em together the other night,
when we were at Dixie's.
They was kissin' all over one another on the porch.
- Evangeline!
- If you ever say such a thing again,
I will tan your hides.
- She's sorry.
Ain't ya?
- Sorry.
- I should say so.
- Maybe while we're here, we can do
a missing persons report for Popo.
- Or mostly if he's with Miss Selma Davis.
- The customer came right back in with that on.
- See what you've done?
Now we're gonna have to get sent
to an orphanage home thanks to you.
- He has not been with that woman.
He will be home any minute.
He probably just missed his flight.
- Missed it goin' and comin'.
- Who took the sweetness outta you two?
- Don't worry, Mamaw.
If Popo doesn't come back,
you'll find yourself a new husband.
- You killed her!
- Mamaw!
- That's Ruby!
- Mamaw!
Help!
- Somebody!
Help!
- Ruby.
- Girls, what happened?
- She fell and busted her head.
- Mamaw!
- Honey, you've gotta take her
to the hospital right now.
- I got you, Ruby girl.
- What's gonna happen to her?
- Get around here guys, give me a hand.
- Is she okay?
- Mamaw!
- You're a good man, Norman.
I'ma take the girls and go and find Walt.
- All right, you be careful, honey.
- Are you two-timing on my Mamaw?
- Are you runnin' a fever, sugar britches?
Who's been feedin' you all that gobbledygook?
- We saw you from Dixie's window.
You and Popo was kissin'.
That's why we rolled your yard.
- Girls, the man you saw me with, that's Mr. Densesky.
Norman and I have been together over a year now.
In fact, we're engaged to be engaged,
whatever that means.
Oh.
- Careful.
We already have one of us dead.
- Girls, your grandma, she's gonna be just fine.
She bumped her head real hard,
but she'll bounce back.
- I ain't talkin' 'bout Mamaw.
Talking 'bout Mother Cranbourne.
She up and died on us.
- Yeah, she croaked.
- That's why we were on our way to the sheriff's office.
- Selma. - Popo.
- Where's Ruby?
Nurse says that she's resting comfortably,
but they're gonna keep her overnight for observation.
- Oh, thank God.
Walt, I'm sorry about your mama.
- Oh, yeah well.
We did all we could.
She's uh...
She looks real peaceful.
The coroner and the sheriff, they're on the way here,
but I really need to get over to the hospital.
I gotta visit my Ruby.
- Well, I'll stay.
- Thank you.
- Did you find Marguerite?
- Oh well.
You know, we're at the airport and darndest thing,
she set her bags down and then she just ran off.
I went to the city.
I sat outside her apartment,
better part of 24 hours and she never showed up.
- How could she do that to those sweet girls?
- Oh, darned if I know.
I told her James had been killed
and she cried for a spell, which I expected.
Then I told her that Juliet and Evangeline,
they were doin' real good, but they,
they'd sure be a lot better off if they had their mama.
She acted right ashamed.
I thought she would do the right thing, and then,
I just guess she couldn't.
- Those poor girls.
You want me to make another special package
to send from Marguerite?
- Oh.
Oh, I'd so appreciate that.
These girls have been through so much.
Last thing they need to hear is that
their mama don't want 'em.
Thank you.
Squirrel, how long you been standin' here?
Where's Rabbit?
We will not speak a word this, do you understand?
It'd only break her heart.
It's gonna be our secret.
Oh my, it's been a whopper of a day.
Rabbit, come on, let's put a move on.
Let's put our smiles on and get down
to the hospital and pay your Mamaw a visit.
- She crossed the river, all right.
- Someone turned on her light switch
right before she died.
- I think I'm gonna miss her.
- Well, she is with her George.
- Selma, I'm sorry we toilet papered your yard.
We were wrong.
- Was fun, though.
I'm sorry.
- Considering the confusion around Norman and me,
apology accepted.
After all, forgiveness and the Lord's house go hand in hand.
- She looks beautiful, Selma.
- Scotch tape can do miraculous wonders for crow's feet.
- Is there anything you can't do?
- I can't take care of a demanding mother-in-law
with dementia, raise two girls, play the fiddle,
grow prize tomatoes and heaven knows what else.
I'm proud to have you as a friend, Ruby Cranbourne.
- Hi.
Is it okay if I sit here, with you?
- Sure, I'd like that.
- I'm sorry about your great-grandma.
Juliet, I want you to know that
you mean the world to me.
You're a very special girl.
- I hate beets.
- Ruby's love for me and Evangeline was steadfast,
and I wish I could say the same about me and my sister.
- What?
What, true confessions on the radio?
- She blames me for so much
of what went wrong in our past.
- Juliet Cranbourne, you will not do this to me in public.
- And, well it all came to a head.
It was a horrific, knock-down, drag-out,
full-blown argument.
That's when we last spoke.
Walt and Ruby were the salt of the earth
and they had a marriage that had been tested
and polished to a sheen.
I mean, we were not your typical family.
We were an eccentric great-grandmother who danced
into her final days and two difficult,
challenging girls who had been orphaned twice
and we fought a lot.
But this, this the biggest
fight we've ever had.
We haven't spoken in a very long time.
- Believe me, you're gonna be
hearing from me real soon.
- I need to ask y'all to please
send Evangeline a note tellin' her to come home.
Imagine 5,000 notes all from Fireside.
What in blue blazes?
- You're bein' pre-empted.
- Good to see you, too.
- Nuh uh, do not give me that.
I am not the guilty party here.
Now tell me, what is going on with Walt?
- I tried to tell you,
but you wouldn't pick up your phone.
- Well, I have been drivin' for three days to get here.
- There's this thing called an airplane.
- Flyin' throws my inner clock's timin' off.
You know that.
- Well, you shoulda called.
- You should have called.
- I did!
I promise and hope my eyeballs fall out if I'm lyin'.
- Yeah well, your track record isn't so good.
- Oh, I never lied to you.
- You did, too.
- I did not.
- My entire life.
- I Just,
withheld some information.
- Yes.
Withheld.
Tell me what is goin' on with Popo?
- Why don't you come home and find out?
Well, he has his good days and bad.
- Well, look who's returned from the dead.
- Probably not the best choice of words, Dixie.
- It's been years since I've seen you, Evangeline.
You still wearing them pink bloomers?
- Dixie's been a godsend.
She's Walt's hospice nurse.
- Thought I'd finally get myself a legit career.
Didn't know I'd end up likin' it.
Come on.
- How is he today?
- He's restin' okay.
He hasn't eaten much today, though.
Walt, you got company.
Walt?
- Awww.
Hey.
Ah, it's good to see you, Rabbit.
- Popo, I am sorry
that I been gone for so long.
- Shh.
- Does it hurt?
- Hurtin's all I got since I lost Ruby.
- God, I missed you.
- I'm glad you're here.
I uh...
There's somethin' that I need you to do together.
- Are there snakes?
- No, just a bunch of old, old stuff.
- I don't know how you can stand it.
This place is full of sad memories.
- Well, if you lived here, you'd understand.
- Well, I don't and I don't.
- Well, this is your home, too.
- Not any more.
- Well.
Found this.
- You know I will never forgive you
for having hidden somethin' so important
from me for so many years.
- I know, it was a mistake.
- Oh, well your mistake has screwed up my life.
If I'd known the truth, I could have just
dealt with it and moved on.
- I was tryin' to protect you.
I did what I thought was right.
- Yeah, well you were dead wrong.
- Get over it, Rabbit.
Move on.
- What, I can't even talk to you.
- Those two always did fight like cats
and dogs, didn't they?
- Yeah, but they'll work it out.
They always do.
- I'm...
- It was all a farce.
A game just played with my mind.
- It was done outta love.
You miss her.
- God, you know, there is this
great big hole inside where...
Something I can't really recall used to be.
But you know, if I would have known the truth,
I could have dealt with it.
If I would have known what happened
with Mama and Walt in New York,
I could have just dealt with it
and I would be over this by now.
- I knew and I'm not over it.
There's just some things you don't ever get over.
But you choose to move on.
- I...
I was never
thinkin' of comin' home.
But I had to 'cause of Walt.
Walt.
- I'm glad you did.
- Walt.
- You know how bad he's been wantin' us
to get up here and
do this whatever it is we're doin'?
- Scavenger hunt.
- Yep.
Well, look at there.
Last thing on his list, right here.
- Oh yeah.
I haven't seen these things in years.
They may not be worth much, but to me,
they're everything.
You don't open that, you...
I want you to stick in the glove box of the caddy.
Save it for another day.
Hey, Squirrel, you wanna get that package
wrapped behind you?
Now, what's that postmark say?
- It says September, 1967.
- They said they lost it, imagine that.
Misplaced for over 30 years.
They said it dropped down behind the counter
then they built a wall around it.
It showed up here just after I lost Ruby.
Had it almost a year now, but...
I couldn't bring myself to open it up.
Help yourself.
- May 30th, 1967.
Dear Juliet and Evangeline,
you girls get this, that means I've gone on ahead.
Help your grandparents as much as possible,
but have fun, too, and most of all, don't fight.
- I don't know what to say about your mother bein' gone.
She has broken all of our hearts.
For your own sake's, forgive her and move on.
You've got to forgive people before you can
get over the hurt.
Remember that and when you get to heaven,
I'll build a house with a porch swing.
Don't try to get there early.
There's plenty of time.
Most important of all, remember I love you both.
Always, Daddy.
Ohh!
- Wow.
- That's Ruby's work.
- She's still here with us.
- What's she tryin' to say?
- I think she wants you two to get along.
Forgive your mother.
Forgive me.
But most of all, forgive each other.
- You mean, she can hear what I been saying
about Juliet all these years?
Cheese and crackers.
- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I never meant to hide the truth from you.
- You were easy to blame.
- What we did, what was done,
was outta love, nothin' more.
- Welcome home, little sister.
The Rabbit came home.
One of the biggest myths of the town of Fireside
is Ruby's 1959 pink Cadillac.
Some say that Elvis gave it to her,
but others, they say it was all Walt's idea.
- One bill of sale for one gently used
1959 Cadillac Coupe de Ville
to a very sneaky Mr. Walter Cranbourne.
- This family, it's full of secrets!
Whenever I get into a little bit of a,
a situation, I just ask myself,
what's the course of my life?
What's the most important thing?
What's my North Star?
And I guess I'd have to say truth
and love.
My North Star continues to guide me in life,
by its light and what I learned from Walt and Ruby.
- To Walt and Ruby.
- I know they are surely dancin' in heaven.
And someday, I'll join them, too,
but first, I have a date with William Bartlett.