谢谢款待 Thanks for everything.
猜猜我昨晚干什么了 Guess what I did last night.
伙计 得了吧 Dude!
我们来反转西部学园 Now let's rock westside academy!
尝尝红牛饮料 Taste the beast!
你想干什么都可以 You can do anything you want in life
只要你不碰毒品 As long as you stay away from drugs.
人为何会试用非法药物呢 Why would a person use illegal drugs?
原因众多 Many reasons.
也许是为了打入新的朋友圈子 Maybe they're trying to fit in with a new group of friends.
也许由于好奇心 Maybe they're curious.
也许因为日子乏味 Maybe they're just bored.
无论出于何种原因 But whatever the reason,
有人向你提供毒品时 What should you say when someone offers you drugs?
你应该说 不用了 我有红牛饮料 Say, "no, thanks. I'll have a minotaur. "
远离毒品 红牛饮料 Stay off drugs! minotaur!
谢谢 牛头人 Thank you, minotaur man.
这身打扮拉风啊 同性恋 Hey! nice cow outfit, homo.
上哪弄来那身衣服 同志动物园吗 Where can I pick one of those up, the gay zoo?
不不 这不是奶牛 Oh, no. it's not a... it's not a cow.
是牛头人 It's a minotaur.
神话传说里的怪物 It's a creature of myth,
还有 这身衣服从你老母的衣柜拿的 And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
我操了她之后 她送我的 She let me keep it after I fucked her.
毒品有害健康 能量饮料有益 Drugs are bad. energy drinks, good.
如果你们想尝尝鲜 请自便 So whenever you'd like to taste one, help yourselves.
每卖出一瓶饮料 红牛将向抵制毒品基金会 And for every can sold, minotaur will make a donation
捐赠一份爱心 To the keep kids off drugs foundation.
天啊 这身衣服像馊掉的马铃薯 God, this suit smells like tater tots.
我知道你需要什么 Yeah, I know what you need.
基斯乐队 你开什么玩笑 Kiss? are you kidding? no. god.
我喜欢基斯乐队 I love kiss.
没人会喜欢基斯乐队 No one loves kiss.
保罗·斯坦利都恶心基斯乐队 Paul Stanley is sick of kiss.
别扼杀明日之星 Whoa! don't dis the starchild.
别以为我老土了 Hey, don't get me wrong, all right?
我也喜欢整夜摇滚 喜欢夜夜笙歌 I like to "rock 'n' roll all night and part of every day!"
夜夜笙歌 整夜摇滚 夜夜笙歌吗 Party every day. "rock 'n' roll all night and party every day!"
我就是喜欢摇滚 夜夜笙歌 I like to rock 'n' roll part of every day. party every day.
-我以前的职业 -夜夜笙歌 - I usually have errands. - party.
-和摇滚有关的 凌晨1到3点的兼职 -你需要狂欢了 - I can rock 'n' roll from, like, 1:00 to 3:00. - you need to party.
大家好 过的开心吗 Hey, guys. how's it going?
当有人想你提供非法药物 你该怎么回答呢 When someone offers you some illegal drugs, what do you say?
该说 不必了 谢谢 我有红牛饮料 You say, "no, thanks. I'll just have a minotaur. "
我经常喝这些饮料 I've had so many of these things.
不是骗你们哦 I'm not kidding.
喝到尿急了 厕所在哪里 I may wet my pants. where's the bathroom?
偶滴神啊 Holy shit.
这是怪物史莱克的尿吗 Dude, this is like shrek's piss.
谨记 远离毒品 引用红牛 So remember, stay off drugs, drink minotaur and above all...
尝尝红牛饮料 Taste the beast!
知道这份工作的好处吗 You know what's great about this job?
你是说一无是处吗 You mean, besides nothing?
我们正在改善世界 We're making the world a better place.
怎么改善 How?
为孩子们提供能量饮品 劝他们远离毒品 You know, giving the kids an energy boost to stay off drugs.
我们以6美元一汀的价格出售马尿 We're selling them nuclear horse piss for 6 bucks a can.
-你真能安慰人 -感觉好多了吧 - What an accomplishment.- feels good, doesn't it?
还有一个好处 可以宿醉 Easy to do hung-over.
我愿意永远干这活 I could do this job forever.
如果要永远干这工作 我死了算了 If I had to do this job forever, I'd put a bullet in my head.
老哥 启动商用表情 Game face, bro.
惊喜 Surprise!
吓到你了吧 吓到你了 Got you, man! got you!
周年庆快乐 你猜到了吗 Happy anniversary! did you know?
没想到 No.
太棒了 这样才惊喜 All right. that was good!
天啊 你也来了 Oh, my god. you're here.
惠勒打电话给我 Wheeler called me. hi.
怎么没给我个预告 Thank you for warning me.
我想告诉他们 你不喜欢惊喜 Hey, I tried to tell them you don't like surprises,
但他们想为你庆祝 But they really wanted to celebrate your milestone.
红牛饮料怎么样 What's up, mino-tards?
怎么样啊 惠勒 What's up, Wheeler?
看看我的大家伙 My dick!
大家伙 "my dick!"
现在是为我最好的朋友丹尼庆祝 Everybody, we're here to celebrate my best friend, Danny!
只是工作伙伴 不是最好的朋友 We just work together. not "best friend. "
有点礼貌 Be nice.
丹尼在这里工作了10年 Danny's been working here 10 years!
十年的理想生活 That's almost a decade of living the dream.
你是真男人 丹尼 You're the man, danny!
我要和你白头偕老 丹尼 I want to grow old with you, Danny.
衷心希望 我们的余生 Hopefully, we'll be tasting the beast
都在共同品尝红牛中度过 For the rest of our lives together!
每日清晨 太阳升起 It's early morning the sun come out
昨夜的抖动和喧嚣 Last night was shaking and pretty loud
简直是噩梦 This is a nightmare.
别这样 我请了下午的假 Come on. I took the afternoon off.
蛋糕在那 我们尽情玩吧 There's cake! let's try and enjoy ourselves.
有请 制图部的米奇 Mitch from Graphics, take over!
-上吧 -我们也玩吧 - Do it!- let's go next!
- 一定很有趣 -不要 - Come on.- it'll be fun. no.
为什么不玩 来吧 我们表演二重唱 Why not? come on. we'll do a duet!
在大庭广众之下 Getting up in front of a group of people
上台表演唱歌 我可不觉得好玩 And singing is not my idea of fun. all right?
这是耻辱 It's humiliating.
我来唱 I'm gonna sing.
丹尼 Danny?
你怎么了 What is your problem?
很抱歉 Look, I'm sorry, all right?
但我不是惠勒 满足于这份愚蠢的工作 I'm not Wheeler, happy in some brainless job,
没有人生目标 没野心 No goals, no ambition.
你根本不知道惠勒的心情 Hey, you don't know how wheeler feels.
他和你一样讨厌这份工作 For all you know, he hates his job as much as you do.
我爱死这工作了 I love this job!
惠勒 她正尝你的小野兽呢 Hey, wheeler! she's tasting your beast!
早上好 请问点什么 Good morning. can I take your order?
我要大杯混合茶 Can I get a tall chai?
还有大份黑咖啡 And a large black coffee.
一份什么 A what?
大份黑咖啡 Large black coffee.
你是说大杯吗 Do you mean a venti?
不 我要大份的 No, I mean a large.
他就是要大杯 最大杯的 He means a venti. yeah, the biggest one you've got.
大杯的就很大份 Venti is large.
不 大杯容量是20 No. venti is 20.
丹尼 Danny.
大份的是大份的 大号的也是大份的 Yeah. "large" is large. in fact, "tall" is large.
大份的西班牙语是Grande And grande is spanish for large.
大杯并不表示大份 Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large.
大杯是意大利语 It's also the only one that's italian.
祝贺你 你对语言一窍不通 Congratulations! you're stupid in three languages.
老兄 大杯就是大份咖啡 Look, dick. venti is a large coffee.
是吗 谁说的 费里尼吗 Really? says who? fellini?
多少钱 给你10美元 How much is that? here's a 10.
你们收里拉币或者欧元吗 Do you accept lira, or is it all euros now?
你留着零钱当小费吧 You know what, just keep the change.
别闹 丹尼 你知道他们对咖啡的叫法 Jesus, dan. you know what they call the sizes here.
你一直找别人的茬 You know what, you've been picking fights with everybody.
-舞会上那个女孩 -她用省略语 - The girl at the party...- she said asap.
用省略语犯法了吗 Asap, I'm sorry. huge crime.
就像那些街头流氓说话方式 你也讨厌啊 It's like "24l7" or "been there, done that. " you hate that, too.
但我不会被他们影响心情 I don't hate it enough to let it ruin my day.
你越来越糟 看外面阳光明媚 It's getting worse. you know, man? the sun is shining,
但你却视而不见 不用心体会 But you have lost the ability to take any joy in life.
我忍无可忍了 I can't stand it anymore!
你这个无病呻吟的混蛋 You're just a miserable dick now!
对每个人都尖酸刻薄 You're mean to everybody!
还有 法语里的20盎司就是大杯 And, fyi, it's called a venti because it's 20 ounces!
20盎司 大杯 20! venti!
真的是这样吗 Is that true?
她说我不会享受生活 She says I take no joy in life.
能看出来 I can see that.
我必须和她谈谈 I gotta talk to her.
算了吧 老兄 Forget her, man.
我给你讲讲我的人生哲学 Let me give you a little motto I live my life by,
拿得起放得下 You got to hit it and quit it.
干净利索 No ties, tangle free.
做自己的主人 Nobody tells me what to do.
我想干啥就干啥 I go bang, bang, bang the drum.
这算什么人生哲学 What? that's not a motto.
只是乱七八糟的话 That's just you saying a bunch of things.
贝丝说的对 我是个混蛋 You know, Beth's right. I'm a dick.
我只是在学院中流窜 Hey, I'm in a rut, just going from school to school
向孩子们兜售毒药 Selling poison to our nation's youth.
不是毒药 里面有果汁呢 It's not poison. it's got juice in it.
还有 我已经35岁了 You know, I'm 35 years old.
却一事无成 I got nothing to show for my life.
我以为自己会有所成就 I figured I'd be something,
闯出名堂 当个教授或者工程师 Something good, a professor, engineer.
这一类的 I don't know.
以为会成家立业 会 Figured I'd be married. I'd...
-我们要绕一下路 -什么 - You know what? we're making a detour. - what?
-我们先去个地方 -哪里 - We're making a detour.- where?
-先绕个弯 -为什么 - We're making a detour. - why?
老兄 红牛给你的太大压力 别这么做 Dude, you're too jacked up on minotaur. this is a mistake.
没事 我马上就回来 It's fine. look, I'll be right back.
1点半我们要赶到蓝山谷高中 Hey, we gotta be at the blue valley middle school by 1:30.
不 我不想要庭外和解 No, I don't want to plea-bargain.
我不接受 I didn't do it.
加尔文先生 你没得选择了 Mr. Garvin, I just don't know what other options we have,
他们有录像带证实你偷东西 Because they have this clear videotape of you stealing
-好多电视机 -动作快 - A lot of tvs. guys! - go, go, go.
有可能是其他的人呢 That could be any bald guy.
看看我 大卫·加尔文 偷电视机 Look at me. me, David Garvin, stealing tvs.
难以置信吧 Who would believe it?
那不是我 That is not me.
我需要和你谈谈 Hey, hi. I need to talk to you.
丹尼 我有顾客 稍后谈吧 Danny, I'm with a client, so we'll talk later.
-我先走吧 -不不 你留下 - I can go.- no, no. you stay.
你不和我谈我就不走 I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me.
请稍侯 Excuse me one...
-谢谢 -有话快说 - Thank you.- what? fast.
好吧 你说的对 All right, you were right.
我是个混账 I'm a dick. I'm a dick!
-混账加三级 -你说的都对 - You're dickish.- yes, I'm dickish.
我混账加三级 我陷入谷底了 我们都陷入谷底 I'm a dickish dick, and I'm in a rut. we're in a rut.
我们要振作起来 我有个想法 Let's shake things up. I have an idea.
我们结婚吧 我没带戒指 Let's get married. I don't have a ring.
你是认真的吗 Are you serious?
-祝贺你们 -不行 - Mazel tov! -no.
-抱歉 -你说什么 - Never mind. - what?
-不行 -为什么 - No. - why?
就算你搞了这个考虑周全的浪漫求婚 Because despite this very well thought out and romantic proposal,
我也不想成为谷底夫人 I'm not that interested in becoming Mrs. Dick-in-a-rut.
-听过了 -是吗 - Heard that.- really?
-你听到了吗 -丹尼 - Did you hear that?- danny?
你里我们两步而已 说话为什么用过去式 Maybe you heard that because you're 2 feet away from us.
我最讨厌这样的 "听过了" That's another one I hate. "heard that!"
你不能为了走出低谷而结婚 You don't get married to get out of a rut.
婚姻的基础应该是爱情 You get married because you love someone
没有爱的人生怎么过 And you don't want to spend your life without them.
-这家伙是谁 -谢谢 加尔文先生 一个小偷 - Who is this guy?- thank you, Mr. Garvin. he's a thief.
诬告 Falsely accused.
他很像菲尔·柯林斯（歌星） Oh, well. he looks like Phil Collins.
我知道 Yeah. I know.
生活很艰辛 Look, life is hard, all right?
-我们一起生活了7年 -听我说 - We've lived together for seven years... - you know what?
丹尼 生活艰辛 而遇见你就更艰辛了 Danny, life is hard, and you've become the hardest part of my life.
我真的应该先走了 I should really go.
不行 坐下 No, you sit down.
知道吗 丹尼 You know, Danny?
我们需要一点改变 We do need to shake things up.
我知道 我也这么想 I know! that's what I'm saying!
我要搬出来 I'm moving out.
等等 你是和我分手吗 Wait a minute. are you breaking up with me?
真的吗 Really?
今天倒霉透了 Today sucks.
丹尼 当一扇门关上 就有一扇窗打开 Look, Danny, whenever a door closes, another opens, okay?
你只需要留心一下 You just have to look for it.
说真的 可怜的男人 And, seriously, you're gonna get
会招来无数少女的怜爱 The most insane sympathy-rebound pussy.
这个月正适合泡妞 And this is a good month for that, too.
我不要这些 I don't want that.
振作点 老兄 Look, just keep it together, bro.
再去一个学校 Okay? we got one more school.
然后下班 喝点小酒谈谈心 We go out, we'll have a few brewskis, we'll talk this over.
先启动商用表情 Just put your game face on.
尝试红牛饮料 远离毒品 Taste the beast! stay off drugs!
牛头人 Minotaur!
毒品 孩子们为什么吸毒呢 Drugs. why do kids take drugs?
因为它们味道好吗 'cause they're awesome?
不是 也许孩子们明白生活不易 No? maybe they just understand that life is pain,
如果你抽抽烟吸吸毒 能暂时忘记烦恼 And if you smoke something or take a pill, it'll go away for a while.
我表示致敬 I'll drink to that.
老兄 别闹了 Dude, dude, dude, dude. come on.
不不不 No, no, no.
有人说 拥抱生活 享受生活 People say, "embrace life. enjoy life.
尽管放手一搏 "just do it! live it! rock it!"
去他妈的 生活痛苦至极 Fuck it, because life is horrible.
虽然我不是乐天派 起码我现实 You know, I may not be so happy-go-lucky, but I'm a realist.
孩子们 准备好接受幻灭的一刻吧 Get ready to have your dreams dashed, kids,
现实生活 'cause nothing's gonna work out
并非你们的理想世界 The way you think it's going to.
干杯 还有 这饮料就是毒药 Chin-chin. by the way, this stuff's poison.
商用表情 老兄 商用表情 Game face, bro. game face.
商用表情这四个词很难理解吗 What part of "game face" do you not understand?
真他妈的 What the...
老兄 我们以为这里能停车 Dude, I thought we could park here.
你想错了 长毛同志 And you thought wrong, you furry faggot.
拜托按一下开关就能把钩子放下 Please, just flip the switch and put it down.
太晚了 都挂上啦 It's too late. it's already up.
拜托 求求你们 Come on, please.
换位替我想一想嘛 Put yourself in my shoes, would you?
不关我的事 Not my problem.
老兄 行行好不可以吗 Dude, please, could you just be decent?
我今天够倒霉了 I'm having a terrible day.
不关你多可怜 都不关我的事 Well, since you put it that way, it's still not my problem.
兄弟 我能问个问题吗 Hey, man, can I ask you a question?
给我滚开 混蛋 Get the fuck out of the way, asshole!
想让我动吗 You want me to move?
兄弟 商用表情 Game face, buddy.
丹尼 Danny?
他在干什么 What's he doing?
他跑了 我们跑了 He's running. we're running.
我们跑了 We're running!
你们 你们干什么 Hey, what are you... what are you... get...
我不会享受生活吗 错了 I'm the guy that can't enjoy life? wrong!
-我要享受现在 -没错 等下 你说什么 - I'm gonna enjoy this! - right! wait, what?
兄弟 你在干嘛 Hey, man, what you doing?
哇哦 哇哦 丹尼 Whoa, whoa! danny!
嘿 住手! Hey, man!
糟了 兄弟! Holy shit, man!
伙计! Dude!
试试怪兽牌饮料 Taste the beast!
远离毒品 Stay off drugs.
你们犯事了 You guys are fucked.
我跟你说过你就是不听 混蛋! I told you, you asshole!
-贝丝 -什么事 惠勒 - Beth? - yes, wheeler?
我只是想说我觉得你好美 可以吗 I just want to start by saying I think you're amazing, okay?
你就象 智慧和美丽的化身 You're, like, beauty and brains incarnate.
所以 是否可以 放过我一马 行不 So, fyi, there you go. okay?
再说 到目前为止 在这件事上我啥也没干啊 Now, that's that, so as far as this goes, I didn't do anything here,
所以如果不介意的话 把我名字划掉吧 So if you wouldn't mind, you can clear my name,
我可以现在就走了 And I can just walk right out of here.
是吗 可根据上面所说 你是一伙的 Really? because according to this, you were a party to...
呃 是一起 不是和他一伙 A party to, not the party.
危害他人安全 毁坏学校设施 ...reckless endangerment, destruction of school property,
妨碍执法 企图抢走被拖车辆 Obstructing a police officer, attempted grand theft auto,
扰民 非法停车 Disturbing the peace, parking in a no-parking zone.
我说过你是个蠢人吧 Did I ever tell you you're a dick?
对 之前 Yeah. earlier.
还有 丹尼 你知道他们吊销了你的驾照吗 And, danny, they suspended your license. did you know that?
嗯 我想到会这样 Yeah. I figured they would probably do that.
你们觉得这么干很好玩吗 Did you guys think this was funny?
如果你想一下就知道 这些也是你造成的 You know, if you think about it, this is kind of your fault.
我...怎么会是我 My... how is this my fault?
因为你把我拒之门外 It's your fault because you just threw it all away,
我刚才过来 向你求婚 And I came in here, I proposed to you...
你求婚是狗屁 Your proposal was bullshit!
是真的 发自我内心的! But it was real. it was from the heart!
住嘴 别吵了 Shut up! okay? shut up!
我们会怎么样 What's gonna happen?
他们想让你们进局子呆上一个月 They wanted to give you 30 days in jail.
什么? What?
不过对付法官我有办法 But I worked my magic on the judge,
所以 不用一个月坐牢了 And instead, over the next 30 days,
你们必须干150小时社区服务的活儿 You have to log 150 hours of community service.
社区服务 那是什么 打扫厕所吗 Community service? what, we got to clean toilets?
不是 你们去"乘风之翼"(一个儿童福利组织) No, you're going to sturdy wings.
法官们最喜欢的安排 It's the judge's favorite organization.
又什么事 惠勒 Yes, wheeler?
乘风之翼究竟是什么 What the fuck is sturdy wings?
乘风之翼是一个简单的理念 Sturdy wings is a simple concept.
成人和儿童一起被分到一个小组 We bring adults and children together in a structured format
通过一对一的友谊活动 To enhance the lives of these children
来改善孩子们的生活 Through one-on-one friendships.
有人问我 盖尔 People ask me, "gayle, how did you
你怎么想出这个改变生活的项目 "come up with such a life-altering program?"
我说我小时候多数时间都是一个人过 And I tell them I spent a lot of time alone as a kid.
我父亲经常出差跑销售 My father was a traveling salesman.
我母亲 无缘无故 去做了妓女 My mother, out of necessity, was a whore.
成长的日子里我很想有个人来指引我 During adolescence, I hungered for guidance
一个有责任心 有爱心的成年人 From a committed, caring adult.
二三十的时候 我的生活简直是个恶性循环 In my 20s and 30s, I suffered through an endless cycle
交友不善和内心空虚不止 Of failed relationships and constant feelings of inadequacy.
12年前 我还是个酒徒 A mere 12 years ago, I was a raging alcoholic.
更糟的是 我甚至大量吸毒 To make matters worse, I had a massive drug addiction,
没钱 没工作 没有希望 No money, no job, no hope.
那个时候 我知道了我必须要做的事情 But at that moment, I knew what I had to do.
过去我迷上了嗑药 Used to be addicted to pills.
现在 我迷上了助人 Now I'm addicted to helping.
而当你帮人帮上瘾时 And when you're addicted to helping,
你不需要戒掉 You don't need an intervention.
因为有时在生活中 每个人都需要 Because sometimes in life, everybody needs...
乘风之翼! Sturdy wings!
一点点爱心 耶 耶 耶 A little lovin' yeah, yeah, yeah
我们需要一点爱 耶 耶 耶 We need a little love yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
一点点爱心 耶 耶 耶 A little lovin' yeah, yeah, yeah
看到了吗 那就是我 See, that's me?
好 开始 Okay, then.
首先欢迎各位 Welcome, everybody.
你们知道 You know, it's particularly exciting
我很开心新来一批大人 For me to have a new batch of bigs
来搭配一组儿童 To match up with a new group of kids, or littles,
我们这里称之为"小人" As we call them here at sturdy wings.
我看到一个熟人 I see a familiar face.
被控有罪了 Guilty as charged.
我更想去监狱 I'd already prefer jail.
好吧 现在我们开始 All right. let's move right along here.
安排好点儿 你可以选择一次花很长时间 Schedule-wise, you can elect to spend
陪你的小朋友... As much time with your little...
你看的是《全村协力》吧 It takes a village.
希拉里 克林顿写的 我算是懂点政治的 Hillary clinton. I'm sort of into politics.
你搞错了 我算是结了婚的 I'm sort of engaged.
我算是只犯了个小错误 I sort of have a boner.
以前没来过这儿吧 First time with the program?
天 怎么会来过 Oh, god, really?
-惠勒 和我换个座 -别想了 兄弟 Wheeler, switch with me. no way, dude.
马丁·加里 我总能知道谁是新来的 Martin Gary. I can always spot a newbie.
我到乘风之翼5年了（和保尔的乐队同名） It's my fifth year with wings.
保尔·麦卡特尼(著名歌手)和我比差远了 I guess Paul Mccartney's got nothing on me, huh?
爱 把我带到街巷 Love, take me down to the streets
那不是乘风之翼的歌 That's not a wings' song.
是他们的 70年代的一个专辑里面 Yeah, that's one of their hits from the '70s.
-我不确定是哪个了 -不...不是的 I'm not sure which one. it's not a... it's not.
-不是吗 -不是 It isn't? no.
-我想是的 -不 没人唱过这歌 I think it might be. no, it's not. nobody sings that song.
不清楚了 我要去google一下 I don't know about that. I'll have to google it.
没错 一些孩子很烦感他们现在做的事情 That's right, some kids are allergic to their own sweat.
所以最好少教导多和他们在一起做些什么 So probably best to put the kibosh on physical activity.
比如玩个纸盘游戏 或者是"当当"游戏(敲门游戏) Maybe play a boardgame or tell a knock, knock joke.
马丁 Martin!
-当当 -谁啊 - Knock, knock. - who's there?
迈克·嗅嗅·云雀 Mike snifferpipits.
哪个迈克·嗅嗅·云雀 Mike snifferpipits who?
你认识多少个哪个迈克·嗅嗅·云雀 How many mike snifferpipits do you know?
快点! 让我进去 外面很冷! Come on! let me in. it's cold out here!
冻死了 Jeez.
马丁 上来 Martin, come on up here.
来做个小示范 Let's do a little dimostrazione.
这样 This...
就是小人和大人都可接受的完美拥抱 Perfectly acceptable hug between a little and a big.
这样的拥抱就不好 This is not.
很明显我们不是来折磨小孩子的 Well, obviously we're not supposed to butt-fuck these kids.
好像我有点跑题了 Well, it looks like I'm out of handouts.
先休息一下吧 喝杯咖啡 So why don't we take a little break, get a cup of joe?
我会一直在这儿 I know I'm gonna put mine right in here.
当你们回来时 And then when you come back,
就要见到...请来点鼓声 It'll be time to meet... drum roll, please.
你的小伙伴啦 ...your little!
我等不及了 I cannot wait to meet mine.
我要带他们去动物园 I'm going to take them to the zoo,
因为我看到那里的大熊猫 Because I heard that the giant panda bear
也有一个小熊猫 Has a little baby panda bear,
没什么能比那个小不点儿 And there's just nothing cuter
还可爱的了 Than a little baby panda bear...
我干不了这个 Yeah, I can't do this.
别 丹尼 Danny, stop.
否则我们会进监狱的 明白吗 We will get raped in jail. do you understand?
但这样又有什么意义 What's the point?
我是说 我没什么可以给小孩子的 I mean, I've got nothing to give a kid.
你要是个孩子 你愿意和我一起出去吗 If you were a kid, would you want to hang out with me?
嘿 你想进去服刑吗 Hey, do you want to get raped?
你们好啊 两位男士 Hello, gentlemen.
你好 Hey.
-你可能听到我们说什么了 -什么 You probably heard that out of context. excuse me?
我问我朋友他是否想进局子 When I asked my friend danny if he wanted to get raped.
我想你们俩都听我说 行不 倾听有好处 I want you both to listen to me, okay? and listen good.
我知道你们干吗来这儿 所以别满嘴胡话 I know why you're here, so don't bs a bser.
好吗 你们能在这儿现身 是法庭判决 Okay? your "presence" here, court-ordered.
你为什么用"现身"这个词? Why did you put "presence" in quotes?
你是说我们还没在这儿出现吗 Are you implying that we're not here?
你知道吗 我要是给法官打个电话 You know, one call to the judge from me,
你们就会在牢房里了 象M.C哈默(著名歌手)一样 And you are in the slammer, like M.C. Hammer.
M.C哈默进过监狱吗 Did M.C. Hammer go to prison?
是的 Yes, he did.
差一点点就能逃脱了 Or he came extremely close.
他现在肯定已经登记破产了 I'm certain he filed for bankruptcy,
你们别在我面前说三道四 so don't bs me right now, okay?
我不明白 我们说你是胡说八道了吗 I don't understand. how are we bsing you?
当然 我能看出来 Exactly. I'm bs-proof.
这些是时间表 Here's a couple of time sheets.
每次带孩子出去之后 You'll want your little buddies' parents
你们要让孩子家长签字确认 to sign them after each outing,
那样的话 我会把你们的犯罪记录清除 And that way, I can use my bs flyswatter to swat away the flies
那就是你们想要的 That is your bs.
还有什么问题 Okay? any questions?
嘿 小家伙 你们的大人来了 Hey, little littles, your bigs are here!
噢 太搞笑了 Okay. that's good fun!
丹尼 你的小伙伴不在这边 跟我来 Danny, your little is elsewhere. why don't you come with me?
虽然听过满脸爆米花 但还是好笑 I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous.
兄弟们拿上武器 跟我来 Brothers in arms, follow me!
邪恶头子阿哥顿把我们逼到绝路了 The evil king argotron has us cornered.
噢 我的女士艾斯林 纳瓦罗女神 My fair lady esplen, goddess of navalore.
我为你而战 I fight for your honor.
你想吻我吗 You wish to kiss me?
时间宝贵啊 There's precious little time.
不管了 What the hell.
不 待会儿的 我要继续战斗了 No! no. more later! now I must fight!
你的小人叫奥基·法克斯 年龄稍大 Your kid's name is Augie Farks, a little older than most of the kids.
呃 那个... Um, that...
这个还没完善 I wasn't really 100% yet.
别只看到那些不好的动作 Don't judge me by that move that...
我不会惹麻烦的 是吧 I'm not gonna get in trouble, right?
这些...这些只是泡沫和胶带 This is just... this is just soft foam and duct tape.
不会伤人的 It can't harm anyone.
别担心了 我的陛下 No worries, my liege.
好的! Okay!
这是丹尼 想做你的新朋友 This is danny. he wants to be your new friend.
现在你们互相认识一下吧 So I'm gonna let you guys get to know each other,
我要消失在雾中了 And I'll fade into the mist.
玩的怎么样 How's it going?
你想出来的玩法真是不错 That's a nice routine you worked out.
希望你没打算把我也分尸了 I hope you weren't planning on slaying me.
棒极了 Wonderful.
过来惠勒 认识你的小伙伴 他叫罗尼 Come on, wheeler. let's meet your kid. his name's ronnie.
是这里最小的 单亲 母亲全职工作 He's one of our youngest. single mom, full-time job.
六周前送进来的 Signed him up about six weeks ago.
有八个不同大人和他配过对 Matched him up with eight different bigs.
没有一个人能坚持一天的 No one's lasted more than a day,
但我想你能 你年轻 也不闷 But I think you're perfect because you're young, you're fun,
而且你不想进监狱 And you don't wanna go to prison.
画的很恐怖 That's scary!
要告诉你 你现在在我的地盘上 对吗 And fyi, you're playing on this girl's court now, okay?
-所以你要按我定的规则来 -你是教练吗 - So you're playing by her rules. - are you the coach?
我是 我是教练 控球后卫 I am the coach. I'm the coach, and I'm the point guard,
两个前锋 中卫 另一个后卫 I'm the two forwards, the center, and I'm the other guard.
我就是整个球队 I'm the entire organization.
你好啊 罗尼 今天过的怎么样 在画画吗 Hey, there, ronnie. how you doing today? doing a little drawing?
不错 That's cool.
我要你认识一个很特别的人 I want you to meet someone really special.
我想你们会合得来 And I think you two dudes are gonna become real homeys.
罗尼 这是安森 Ronnie, this is anson.
叫我惠勒好了 Wheeler's good.
随便了 Whatever.
嘿 那个大人 你干吗呢 Hey, big guy. what you doing here?
你好吗 罗尼 很高兴认识你 What up, ronnie? it's good to meet you.
你在画什么呢 What you drawing there?
噢 碧昂斯 她在吸烟 Ooh. Beyonc? she's smoking!
我不想脱裤子 I don't want to take my pants off!
什么 What? whoa, whoa!
好了 罗尼 够了 All right, ronnie. that's enough.
这贱人想要脱我裤子 This bitch tried to grab my joint!
注意语言 罗尼 Language, ronnie!
我的语言是英语 My language is english!
这傻逼想要抓我下面 And this motherfucker tried to grab on my hang-down.
你下面那玩意儿我也有 孩子 I got my own hang-down to touch, kid.
那个死白鬼子想要握我的球 Honky-ass wanted a handful of my balls!
白鬼子 种族歧视啊 Honky? that's racist.
好了 我相信你们俩会好起来 Well, I trust you two will work this out.
我不会管每一件小事 I'm not gonna micromanage.
这也不是我的风格 Not my modus operandi.
我不知道拿这些小不点儿怎么办 I have no idea what I'm gonna do with this kid.
我也是 Me, either.
我打赌要是魁地奇球赛(哈利波特里面的比赛) 他准乐的屁颠屁颠的 I bet if I suggested a game of quidditch, he'd come in his pants.
我跟他说了半小时 他一点没吭声 I've been talking to him for half an hour. kid's barely said a word.
我们进监狱算了 30天而已 Maybe we should just go to jail. it's 30 days.
我不知道你是不是说着玩儿的 丹尼 I don't know if this is some kind of joke to you, danny,
不过我喜欢现在的生活 好吗 But I actually like my life, okay?
如果去坐牢 那我的工作肯定没了 听着 Now, if I go to jail, I'm gonna lose my job. listen.
真进了监狱的话 你就别想贝丝能回到你身边 We go to prison, you're never gonna get beth back.
30天后我们回家 We come home after 30 days,
她已经和她老板搞上了 我保证 She's banging her boss. I guarantee it.
真的吗 我想她会和帕特丽夏·菲歌德好上 Really? she's gonna be banging patricia feingold
她老板是个女的吗 Her boss is a chick?
噢 天啊 Oh, jesus.
丹尼 听我一句 好吗 我们是一伙的 我和你 Danny, just listen, okay? we're a team. all right? you and me.
我们能过了这关的 一起坚持下去 We can do this. we just got to stick together.
好吧 Fine. good.
那么 你打算和孩子们玩什么 So, what do you do with kids?
嗨 孩子们 Hey, kids!
我们松鼠要打破沉默了 We chip monks just broke our vow of silence,
我们要唱歌了 and we want to sing!
我们是查理酒吧的松鼠 We are the monks of chip monk charlie's
我们给你们送食物 We will give you food to eat
一旦吃的进了我们的胃和肚 And once it's in our tummies
我们就会走起松鼠步 We will move our chip monk feet
我们是松鼠的屁股 We are the butts of chip monk ass
但是我们的屁屁 But we've got the ass...
快停下 坐下 Come on! sit down!
好了 求求你 丹尼 All right? please. danny.
我更喜欢罗尼的版本 I like ronnie's version better.
我喜欢他巧妙的引入了屁股这个想法 I like how it evokes the concept of ass and butt.
好 谢谢 Okay. thanks.
别扔了 罗尼 停下 Don't throw shit, ronnie. come on.
我们还差多少小时就能自由了 How many hours do we have left?
你喜欢可乐吗 So, do you like coca-cola?
谢谢你有这个想法但我不喜欢喝它 I like the idea of it more than I actually like it.
好耶 他们有炸鸡块 Ooh! they got chicken fingers.
我要装一节火车的炸鸡块 I'm gonna run a train on these chicken fingers.
到时候我嘴一刻都不停 I'm just gonna be like...
让我猜猜 Let me guess.
你在学校没泡过妞吧 奥基 You're not really rolling with the ladies in school, are you, augie?
噢 不是的 我和学校的护士非常要好 Ooh, no. I'm really good friends with the school nurse.
她离婚了 she's a divorce
我想说 奥基 你的斗篷很漂亮 So, aug, it's a pretty interesting cape.
你是超人之类的吗 Are you like a superhero or something?
我倒是希望 Yeah, I wish.
不 这个衣服嘛 这是我和莱尔打仗穿的战袍 No, this is... this is part of my battle attire for laire.
莱尔究竟是谁 What the hell is laire?
在幻想世界里什么都是可能的 It's this fantasy world where anything is possible.
一会儿你正和精灵对打 One minute you could be sparring with an elf,
过一会儿 你又与巨兽战斗 And the next you could be battling against a troll
他们只想 who wants nothing more
偷走你的金子让你身无分文 Than just to steal your gold and leave you penniless!
很像同志 Sounds gay.
不 不 那里也有女人 No, no. there's girls there.
姑娘也可能是同性恋 Girls can be gay.
如果你说的"同性恋"是古英语定义的 If by gay you mean the old english definition
"有趣 享受 无拘无束"的话 那就没错 Of "fun, enjoyable and carefree," then, yes,
这东西超级同性恋无比 it's extremely gay.
他们说的是另外一种解释吧 I think they meant the other definition.
我知道 可是要想相信的话 I know, but to understand it,
只有眼见为实才是王道 You really have to see it for yourself.
好吧 Okay.
两小时后来接我俩 Hey, pick us up in two hours.
滚你的吧 黛西小姐 Fuck you, Miss Daisy!
奥基 为啥这东西叫莱尔 So, Augie, why do they call it laire?
意思是 实时角色扮演的艺术行为 It's live action interactive role-playing explorers.
角色分属不同国家 We're all divided into countries,
为了各自的疆域彼此征战不休 Fighting a never-ending war to control the realm.
直到练足球的来了 你们就一边凉快去吧 Or until they have to clear you out for soccer practice.
你们安好啊 贵族大人 Greetings, nobleman!
布佛干的兄弟就是我库则克的手足 Any friend of blufgan's is a friend of kuzzik,
本人是拉颇尼亚斯的第五子 瑞格伯爵 Fifth son of leponius, earl of ringor.
黛安娜已将胸衣换下 Diana has put her bosom away.
阿波罗则已掀起战衣 箭已在弦上了 Apollo has lifted his skirt. the day has been launched.
请让我为您介绍我的仆从 阿托尼亚斯 May I present to you my vassal, Artonius?
安好啊 我的朋友 Greetings, friends.
安好 Greetings.
布佛干 你是否已为我们荣耀的战争枕戈待旦好了 Tell me, Blufgan, art thou preparing for the battle royale?
只剩一个月了 'tis a mere month away.
是的 大人 Aye, my lord.
好 这就好 Huzzah, huzzah!
祝万事如意 布佛干 向泽沙希亚致敬 Godspeed, Blufgan, and all hail xanthia!
致敬 泽沙希亚致 致敬 泽沙希亚 Hail, xanthia! hail, xanthia!
尔等摩拳擦掌准备吧 Rub-a-dub-dub!
你们到底搞什么飞机 What the fuck just happened there?
他们是我的亲属 They're my kinsmen.
我们都是泽沙希亚人 We're all from xanthia.
虽说我们这国家比较小 但也没卡萨多尼亚那么衰 丹尼 We're a smaller country, but we're no cacedonia, danny.
-疼死了 别打这么用力 -好吧 - Ow! don't hit so hard! - okay.
好啊 布佛干 Hi, blufgan.
你好啊 艾斯佩琳 Hey! hey, esplen.
布佛干 布佛干 Blufgan! blufgan! blufgan!
布佛干 Blufgan!
好吧 格里布 只能一个哦 All right, Gleebo. one more.
妈的 早知道就不该给这些精灵吃的 I should have never started feeding the goddamn elves.
苍天啊 Jesus christ.
汉德勒大王出来了 Hey, master handler.
那傻比是谁 Whoa! who's that dork?
国王 That's the king.
有道理 Well, I should have guessed.
也只有汉堡渣滓才能显示出皇家荣耀了 nothing says royalty like the burger hole.
他和仆人每次大战前都得消灭三个汉堡 Yeah, he and his lackeys eat there before every battle.
-他的气势逐渐逼近 -靠 完了 - His majesty approaches. - oh, crap!
他的皇家气度袭面而来 His royalty approaches!
仙福永享 寿与天齐 Long live the king.
你干啥呢 What are you doing?
在国王面前必须下跪 You have to kneel before the king.
都弯下腰去 小姑娘 都下跪吧 Bow down, little girl. little girl, bow down, bow down.
为啥 Why?
他是国王啊 求你了 Because he's the king. I beg you!
我才不 No.
惨了 Damn it.
停到小超市那去 给我买点橘子汁 Hey, pull over to the mini-mart and get me some oj,
我不要那种浓缩果汁冲出来的 And not that from-concentrate shit.
你说声"请"能死啊 Would it kill you to say please?
会死 It might.
浓缩 非浓缩 有果肉 果肉含量少 "concentrate. not from concentrate. pulp. low pulp.
大果粒 "lots of pulp. "
看看这是谁啊 Well, well, well.
超级无敌炫的偶遇啊 你不是跟踪我吧 Hey. fancy meeting you here. what, are you stalking me?
我来换培根热狗的 小罗尼怎么样了 Had to get my bagel-dog fix. so how's little ronnie?
我俩是天作之合 你还真没说错 Oh, you were right about us being a great match. yeah.
就好像圣诞节收到的礼物那样 You know, like at christmas when you get a gift?
罗尼就是如此 That's what ronnie is.
他就是天赐的礼物啊 我爱死他了 A gift. I love him so much.
那不错啊 Wow. well, that's very nice.
我得失陪了 先拿根吸管去 Now, if you'll excuse me, I gots to get my slurpee on.
给你先看看这个 Well, watch this though first.
看吧 看起来像啥 Look at that. what does that look like?
好吧 Okay.
把门开开 罗尼 Open the door, ronnie.
你没对我说"请" You forgot to say "please. "
请你开门 要不我就把你橙汁倒了 Please open the door, or I'll pour your juice out.
我可不喝橙汁的 臭娘们 I don't drink juice, biatch!
快开门 听话 朗尼 Come on. hey. ronnie.
别 别启动引擎 我说真的 Oh, no. don't turn that engine on. I swear to god...
行了 别开玩笑了 老兄 Okay. okay. joke's over, buddy.
别 你千万别 No, no, no, no. no, no, no, no, no!
不错 很好笑 朗尼 你他妈的快给我开门 Good one! good one, ronnie! now open the fucking door!
朗尼 你到底想干嘛 Ronnie! what are you doing?
靠 小子 快停下 Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude!
你别这样啊 What are you doing?
来轧我啊 你敢 Don't you run me over!
别啊 Oh, no!
疼死了 你轻点 Ouch! watch it!
好啊 Hey!
不错 多好 美好时光啊 Oh, yeah. so good. good times.
你死定了 小兔崽子 You're on thin ice, buddy.
那就别干这事了 Then quit.
我可不会不干 I never quit.
把我橙汁拿过来 Give me my damn juice.
-这杯橙汁啊 -对 就那杯 - Oh, this juice? - yeah, that juice.
真他妈够混蛋 Fucking asshole.
你也够贱 Punk bitch.
那个小伙子将羊肉配红酒吃 The lad had seasoned his mutton with wine
还有浆果 居然不是蜂蜜酒 berry and not mead!
你看到我在那些怪物身上 Hey, did you see that spell of unbreakable madness
下的不可抵挡的狂怒之咒没 I casted on those orcs?
没看见 I don't think so.
月亮的长度 从此就叫"蜜月"了 The length of a moon, hence "honeymoon. "
熬了8小时 就剩142小时了 Eight hours down, 142 to go.
这都什么破事儿啊 This sucks ass.
老兄 我可是在中世纪过的下午 Dude, I just spent the afternoon in middle-earth
还和一帮乐得跟傻逼似的怪物待一起 With glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right?
您让我歇会成不 Give me a fucking break.
老子还他妈的被劫车了呢 I got fucking carjacked.
有什么了不起 我还被甩了呢 Yeah? well, I got dumped.
你活该 You deserved it!
我讨厌你那副嘴脸 I hate your face.
我还讨厌 你的嘴脸呢 I hate your face.
罗尼 过来 握好方向盘 Ronnie! ronnie! take the wheel!
-行 -你俩干嘛呢 - Yeah. - what are you doing?
危险死了 他又不会开车 That is not safe! he can't drive!
太危险了 This is unsafe.
行了 都停下 住手 Okay, stop! stop! okay!
靠 我开着呢 What the fuck? I'm driving! what...
苍天啊 Oh, my god!
不错啊 看你带的好头 Nice. look what you started.
-满意了吧 -我要弄死你 - Happy now? - I'm gonna kill you!
我哪招惹你了 What did I do?
那我明早9点左右来接你吧 So I guess I'll pick you up tomorrow around 9:00?
你10点再来行吗 Uh, could we make it 10:00?
小子 你到底还想不想一起磨时间了 Kid, you wanna spend some hours together or not?
老兄 如果我得鞍前马后的给你当司机 Dude, if I'm gonna have to chauffeur your asses around,
还是10点的好 Let's make it 10:00.
同意 Yeah.
丹尼 要不要进来看看我养的乌龟 Hey, danny, you wanna come see my turtle?
不用了 谢谢 I'm fine.
这人还真是养乌龟的料 Of course he has a turtle.
明天见 罗尼 See you tomorrow, ronnie.
滚你妈的 安森 Fuck you, anson!
千万别长大 Never gets old.
等等 等一下 Wait, wait, wait.
贱人 You bitch!
不是吧 她要搬走了 Oh, my god. she's moving out.
老兄 你该心碎了吧 Dude, that's harsh.
靠 不是吧 Shit.
你还真没开玩笑 Wow, you weren't kidding around.
是啊 不好意思 Yeah, I'm sorry.
我本来想在你回来前走人的 I wanted to be gone by the time you got home.
没事 这样其实更好 No, it's all right. this is better, you know.
现在我们就能和惠勒共哀 还有 Now we get to share the moment with wheeler and...
她俩叫贝卡和莎拉 Becca and sarah.
对 贝卡和莎拉 Yeah, and becca and sarah.
你都见过她们127次了 Who you've met, like, 127 times.
-我知道 -给你钥匙 - I know. - keys.
贝丝 真的 你不用这样的 Beth, come on. you don't have to do this.
我把陶罐留给你了 I left you the crock-pot.
知道你喜欢吃辣的 I know you like chili.
你现在心绪难平 我明白 I know it's really hard for you right now,
可我想让你明白的是 But I just want you to know that
如果真爱某样东西的话 放手才是最好的方式 When you love something, you set it free,
假如真是天生一对的话 你就会 And if it's meant to be, you just...
终究还会回来的 那时就会 You take it back, and it comes...
行了 我知道你什么意思 Yeah, I know where you're going with it.
假如她真的一去不返的话 Yeah, and if she doesn't come back,
要我的话就选她那个穿毛衣的朋友 I'd go for that friend of hers in the sweater.
虽说这女的是有点胖 I know she's a few pounds overweight,
可是 以我本人的经验来说 but, you know, in my experience,
体格大的那个做的总是比较多 It's the bigger ones that do way more stuff.
说得好 惠勒 Good talk, wheeler.
10点来接你 Pick you up at 10:00.
嗨 罗尼 Hi, ronnie.
-你今天好吗 -你来干嘛 - How are you today? - what are you doing here?
不是跟你说过今天10点来接你吗 I told you I'd pick you up at 10:00, right?
我还以为你甩手不干了 But I thought you'd pussy out.
那啥 其实这样多好啊 Well, you see? it's wonderful.
我们正在互相加深了解呢 we're learning so much about each other.
你一定是惠勒吧 Hey! you must be wheeler.
-我是凯伦 -你好 凯伦 - I'm karen. - hi, karen.
你是罗尼的妈妈啊 看起来真年轻 Wow, you look way too young to be ronnie's mother.
难不成你是保姆 What are you, the babysitter?
你真搞笑 You're funny.
想跟我儿子继续斗智斗勇下去 You're gonna need that sense of humor
这种幽默感你可得好好保持 If you're gonna keep up with my son.
乘风之翼找个有能力的人 It's about time sturdy wings found someone who could.
罗尼是个挺不错的小伙计 Yeah, well, I think that ronnie's a great little dude.
"挺不错的小伙计" 你还真可爱 "a great little dude"? you're cute.
准备好没 小兄弟 You ready, pal?
我可不是你小兄弟 烂人 I ain't your pal, vanilla.
凯伦 帮忙在这张时间表上签个字吧 Karen, would you mind signing my hours sheet?
-行啊 -太好了 - Sure. - great.
那你们好好出去玩玩吧 All right. you boys have fun.
他觉得好玩的可是破烂写诗班 His idea of fun is a fucking pottery class, yo.
注意用语啊 小子 Hey. hey, hey. watch your mouth, little man.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
前排是我的咯 I got shotgun!
停下 你是哪个庙的 来干嘛 Stop. who are you? what do you want?
我是乘风之翼的丹尼 来找奥基的 I'm danny from sturdy wings. I'm here for augie.
不好意思啊 原来是来找奥基的 Oh. I'm sorry. Augie, right.
他马上就出来 He'll be out in a minute.
我先问你点儿事 Let me ask you something,
你这种人应该是 Because you're one of these guys
和小孩挺合得来的吧 That's good with kids, right?
对 没错 Yeah. totally.
说实话 我真是摸不透这小子 'cause, the kid, man, I don't get it.
他整天沉迷于龙啊 奇幻故事啊 He's into dragons and fairies
还有哈比人啥的 And, you know, hoboes.
明白 Right.
那个 我到底该跟他说些啥才好啊 So, I mean, what am I supposed to say to him?
不知道啊 我也不 Yeah. I don't know. I don't...
不过既然现在我俩单独面对面了 Hey, but while I've got you here in my personal space,
您能不能在我昨天做的时间表上 I was wondering if you could maybe
签个字表示一下 Sign off on my hours from yesterday.
不 我不是那小孩的亲人 Oh, no, I don't... I'm not the kid's parent.
监护人签字是老妈的职责 No, that's... parental signatures are mama's department.
等一下 one second.
勒奈特 奥基的小伙计来了 Lynette! augie's little buddy's here.
你得出去给他签个字 he needs your signature.
-你好啊 -你好 - Oh! hi! - hi.
-我是勒奈特 -我是丹尼 - I'm lynette. - I'm danny.
-很高兴见到你 -我也是 - So good to meet you. - you, too.
您能不能帮个忙 I was wondering if you could maybe
把我昨天的时间表给签了 Sign my hours sheet from yesterday.
没问题 Sure!
你知道吗 You know,
你们和奥基一起多待待 We are so thrilled that you are
我们真的特别高兴 Gonna be spending some time with Augie,
因为啊 你们也知道 这孩子是啥样的 Because, you know, just how he is.
他啥样 How is he?
你们能把他从自闭的世界里弄出来 I'm just glad you're gonna be getting
我真是万分开心啊 Him out of his own little world a bit.
你们就好像"快出来 别宅家里了" It's like, "get out of here! leave home!"
周六晚餐的时候 你也来坐坐吧 Hey,why don't you come over for dinner on saturday night,
这样我们就能互相多了解了解 And we can get to know you a little bit better?
估计我来不了 不是你的问题 I don't think so. it's not you.
就是我比较讨厌和别人一起吃晚餐而已 I hate having dinner with people.
奥基 准备好去 Hey, augie, ready to...
-好了 走吧 -行 - Yeah, let's go. - yeah.
他们应该在这边 I think they're over here.
我太失望了 这可伤不了人 I'm disappointed. this isn't gonna hurt anybody.
那个 你父母 还真是 So, your parents... wow.
吉姆不是我爸 Jim is not my dad.
明白了 那也算是好事 Okay. well, that's probably good.
卑微的臣民们 都为阿根特拉国王让路 Hey, hey, odeon. make way for king argotron!
老兄啊 Dude.
如你女儿那般向我屈膝吧 Bow as your daughter does.
泽沙希亚人 Xanthians.
简直都不入我的眼 Why bother?
说得好 王上 Good one, sir.
你干嘛向那种人卑躬屈膝 Man, why do you bow for that guy?
他是国王啊 所有疆域人民都归他统领 Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.
-他统领一切 -没错 - He rules the entire realm? - yeah.
我错了 所以他才在这虚拟游戏里耀武扬威的啊 My bad.is that when he is or isn't whacking it to the sims?
那啥 阿吉 你要不要考虑下 You know, augie, maybe you should
别搞那个披风了 think about losing the cape.
至少别在大庭广众下穿这个 At least in public.
穿着这种披风 容易被别人当成空气 People tend to avoid people in capes.
虽说在这里有所不同 I know that's not the case here.
瞧瞧这帮人的德行 Look at these people.
-我就喜欢这种德行的人 -我知道 - I like these people. - no, I know.
可是 这又不是现实 这里不是真正的世界 But, you know, this isn't reality. it's not the real world.
我知道 可在这种世界里 我用不着做自己啊 I know that, but in this world, I don't have to be me.
我又卡住了 I'm stuck again!
好像你们族里有个人 Well, looks like maybe one of your people
需要我们帮忙了 could use a hand.
-救命啊 来帮帮我 -我不喜欢那女人 - Help! help! help! - her, I don't like.
这就是敝人寒舍了 Okay. this is my place.
猪圈 Shit hole.
小子 虽说你不咋喜欢我 Look, kid, you're obviously not a big fan of me,
那也随便你 and that's okay,
可是在我们即将要度过的139小时后 But I think there's something to be gained
我们终归会与对方冰释前嫌的 From us spending 139 more hours together.
才怪 Yeah.
我小时候 我爸扔下我走了 You know, my dad left me when I was young,
我明白这样有多糟 So I know it sucks,
可也正是不幸才使我们更加坚强 对吧 But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
狗嘴里居然吐出象牙来了 Says the punk living in the shit hole.
这帮小丑是干嘛的 Who are these clowns?
基斯乐队啊 Kiss?
你居然不认识这乐队 You don't know who kiss is?
听都没听过 No. never heard of them.
他们看着跟白痴似的 They look like idiots to me.
不对 你错了 小子 No, no, no, dude.
这四个人可是有史以来最睿智的智者了 These are four of the smartest guys who ever lived.
他们是在纽约长大的犹太人 They're these jewish guys that grew up in new york,
为了泡妞 所以开始弹吉他 化浓妆 And they put on guitars and makeup to get girls,
他们所有的歌可讲的都是操的事儿 And all of their songs are about fucking!
我听着呢 I'm listening.
听好了 这首歌叫《爱之枪》 Seriously, this song is called love gun,
讲的是保罗·斯坦利的老二 And it's about paul stanley's dick
还讲了姑娘们都是怎么在他老二那爽到的 And how this girl's gonna get some of his dick!
真牛 Cool.
没想到犹太人也能唱这么好 I didn't know jews could sing like that.
不是 他们以前没这么牛 No. no. they couldn't at the time.
所以才穿的跟小丑似的 That's why they had to dress like clowns.
他们就这样泡到妞的 This got them girls?
学着点 他们可就这样30年如一日的身边女人不断啊 Get this! they've been getting pussy nonstop for 30 years!
估计现在也正享受春宵呢 这帮老不死的 They're probably fucking right now, and they're old dudes!
只要化成大花脸 就万事OK了 They put makeup on, and it's all good!
这么牛啊 No shit?
你扣动了我对你无尽的 You pull the trigger of my
爱之枪的扳机 Love gun
你看 罗尼 他的老二就是枪 You see, ronnie? his dick is the gun!
爱之枪 Love gun
这周我们做了14小时 Okay, we logged 14 hours this weekend.
还不够啊 That's not gonna be enough.
我们得想办法争取到工作日 Somehow we gotta get them on the weekdays, too.
我们可以装他们叔叔 接他们放学 Hey, we could pretend to be their uncles, pull them out of school.
那很诡异 That just sounds kind of creepy.
我想也是 Yeah, I guess.
真性感 就像草莓巧克力 Hey! sexy like a chocolate strawberry.
她怎么了 What's her problem?
不知道 I don't know.
你都做得很明了了 I mean, you laid that genius line on her.
她怎么就拒绝了呢 I can't believe she didn't take your bait.
对啊 怎么会 I know, right?
看哪 Well, well, well.
这不是狗屎先生和无聊博士吗 If it isn't mr. bullshit and dr. I'm-full-of-shit.
我们怎么无聊了 In what way are we full of shit?
又有谁是博士 Which one of us has the ph. d?
和男孩们的首个周末过得怎样 So how was your first weekend with the boys?
很好 我们做了14小时 你能签字吗 It was great. we did 14 hours. will you sign our sheets?
我们能多做点吗 散散步 加到50小时 Maybe give us a few more, just for kicks? round it up to 50?
干吗羞辱我 Don't you sass me.
你们觉得我会说不啊 What, do you think I'm a pushover?
你知道我曾经的早餐是什么吗 You know what I used to eat for breakfast?
可卡因 Cocaine.
你知道我曾经的午餐是什么吗 You know what I used to eat for lunch?
可卡因 Cocaine.
那你晚餐吃什么 可卡因吗 What'd you have for dinner? was it cocaine?
我会给你们签字的 I will sign your sheets,
但你要知道我不是专职签字的 But you need to know I am not here to service your hours.
我是来帮助这些年轻人的 I'm here to service these young boys.
你以为我会关心你们是否进监狱吗 Do you think I give a shit if you guys go to prison?
我进过监狱 没错 I've been to prison. I have.
我进过监狱 I've been to prison.
因为吸毒 酗酒 精神失常 A prison of drugs, alcohol and sick thoughts.
我曾经精神错乱 I used to have sick thoughts.
所以你们别进来 So don't you come in here,
跟我叫嚣工作时间 Preaching to me about hours
当你站在那时 你也站在那时 When you're standing over there, and you're standing over there,
我不知道该听谁说 And I don't know which way is up!
我们是不是等下再来 Um... should we come back?
我们可以等下再来 We can come back. yeah.
给我吧 Come here.
我们准备在外野营过夜 本周的重头戏 We're having an overnight camping trip, big bear this weekend.
我建议你们带孩子们一起参加 I suggest that you ask your littles to go with you.
多关心下他们 Maybe worry a little bit about them
而不是自己的工作时间 and not so much about your hours.
过夜吗 太棒了 我们参加 Overnight? that's great. sign us up.
伙计们 帮个忙好吗 And, fellas, will you do me a favor?
下次你们想跟我造反 Next time you want to bullshit me,
先自己打一架 Bullshit each other instead, okay?
亲自感受下 See how that feels.
我讨厌露营 I hate camping.
你可以随便玩玩嘛 You could use a little dose of the outdoors.
露营很无聊 又脏 我讨厌睡在石头上 Camping blows. it's dirty, and I don't like sleeping on rocks.
带些安定 你就能睡得像婴儿一样 Bring some ambien. you'll sleep like a baby.
总是有人拿着美声吉他 There's always a guy with an acoustic
弹吉他水平又超烂 Guitar that doesn't quite know how to play it.
等等 是这样 Wait. I know it.
等等 这样 等下 You know. wait. I know it. wait.
不对 是这样 没错 No. wait. oh, yeah, I got it.
音准了 This is it.
我觉得就是这样 I think that's got it.
他妈的 罗尼 God damn it, ronnie!
干吗 我是黑人 所以你认为是我干的 What? 'cause I'm black, you think I did it?
不 因为本来就是你做的 No, 'cause you did it is why I think you did it.
我告诉你 我不是你搭档 我会揍你 Let me tell you something. I am not your big, and I'll hit you.
我会打小孩 I will hit a child.
我从没打过 但我会 I've never done that before, but I will punch you in the face.
我们跳舞吧 Let's dance, ben affleck!
罗尼 别惹他 Ronnie! leave him alone.
好吧 Fine!
但我会盯着你的 胆小鬼 But I'm watching you, daredevil.
看来你们需要帮忙啊 Looks like you guys could use a hand up here.
伙计 别这样 开心点 Come on, man! just having some fun.
我们去走走 谢谢 Let's take a hike. thank you.
别担心 小孩睡着后 Don't worry. once the little ones are asleep,
我会弄些刺激的 I'll break out the pg stuff.
知道乘风之翼的歌吧 You don't happen to know any wings, do you?
乘风之翼 知道呢 Wings? yeah.
爱 让我抓狂 Love, take me down to the streets
天 她胸部好大哦 Man! she got some boobies on her!
你肯定很喜欢看胸部啊 罗尼 You sure do like boobies, ronnie.
没错 I sure do.
有时我叫自己窥胸人 Sometimes I call myself the booby watcher.
就算是漫画书 也是窥胸之旅 Even got my own comic book. adventures of the booby watcher.
我有个关于胸部的理论 Okay. you know, I got a theory about boobies.
真的 Really? yeah.
地球上男人和女人都一样多 There are as many women as there are men on this planet.
没错 True that, true that.
大多数女人有两个乳房 And every woman has two boobs, for the most part.
所以 乳房数量就是人类的两倍 So therefore, there's twice as many boobs as there are men.
我们数量太多了 过头了 We're outnumbered, and it's overwhelming.
我们很无能 但只能接受 We're powerless. we have to accept it.
我喜欢你的理论 I like your take on boobies.
我也喜欢胸部 And I like boobies.
小孩 你要学的还很多 Kid, you got a lot to learn.
-我知道我在干吗 -真的吗 -I know what I'm doing. -oh,really?
那你知道你犯了窥胸新手 So you're aware that you've committed one of the most
最常犯的错误么 Common rookie boob-watching errors?
什么意思 What you mean?
小孩 绝不盯着看 Never stare at the boobies, kid.
一旦被抓住 就没戏了 Yeah, once you get caught, the game's over.
-那怎么办 -得练 -But how? -it's called training.
不经意间去发现 You know, being aware without drawing attention.
你以为我没注意到我们左手边那个 You don't think I've noticed the 34-c's in the camouflage tank top
穿背心 34C杯 正支帐篷的女人吗 Setting up the tent directly to the left of us?
或者西边50码处 How about those twin cannons hiking
正爬山的双胞胎 Up the mountain ridge 50 yards due west?
或山本身 Or the ridge itself?
弧形的山势就像 Round mounds of grass shaped like...
女人的胸 Boobies!
别往那看 看这 Don't look over there. look here.
看这 你会明白的 Yeah, focus. you'll get it.
那老女人不能亲自来真太可惜了 Too bad old sweeny herself couldn't come up here for this trip.
那肯定很好玩 对吧 That would have been fun, huh?
真正的狂欢哪 Yeah. a real blast.
但她得留守办公室呀 Yeah, she probably just had to hold down the fort.
你喜欢她吧 马丁 You got a thing for sweeny, martin?
她和我吗 你好冷啊 Sweeney? me? no. now that is a knee slapper.
你都兴奋了 Your erection is showing.
什么 What?
你没事吧 You okay?
自然啊 Nature.
你知道秃鹰 Did you know that bald eagles are
的交配方法很诡异吗 Known to engage in a bizarre mating ritual
他们向上飞 相互扣住爪子 Where two eagles fly upwards, lock talons,
然后旋转着下落 Then fall towards the earth while rotating,
撞到地面的前一秒才分开 Separating moments before they crash into the ground,
除非他们完成了交配 If, and only if, they consummate their bird fuck?
否则他们情愿一起撞死 If they don't, they're willing to accept death by hard ground.
这是最激烈的与时间的赛跑 It's the ultimate race against the clock.
你干吗告诉我这个 Why are you telling me this?
为什么不呢 Why would I not?
你好 丹尼 Hi, danny.
我忘了告诉你 他们待会 I forgot to tell you, they'll be telling
会讲鬼故事 Ghost stories later.
你最好来看看 You should stop by.
偌大的房子 当门咯吱咯吱慢慢打开时 And as the barn door creaked open, ever so slowly,
他站在那 背对着月亮 Standing there with the moon at his back
手上提着 And holding the severed head
小儿科大夫他妈的脑袋 of the pediatrician's mother in his hand,
那是菲利普 Was philip,
送匹萨的男孩 The pizza delivery boy
最开始他们叫了匹萨外卖 From when they ordered pizza at the beginning of the story!
不是吧 你们 Come on, you guys!
-随便咯 -过来 -All right. whatever! -hey, come here.
你们什么都不怕啊 You guys are unscareable.
你们谁讲个更好的 谁来 拜托啦 Think you can do better? who's got a better story? come on.
你们这么聪明 肯定讲得比我好 You guys are so smart. who's got a scarier story than me?
你想怎样 Yes? so what's up?
不知道啊 你想怎样 I don't know. what's up with you?
我知道你订婚了 我记得的 I know you're engaged. I haven't forgotten.
那这是什么 So what's this?
是我的生殖器啊 Those are my testicles.
我的确有未婚夫 Listen, I have an arrangement with my fianc?
在洛杉矶的范围内 I'm completely faithful to him within
我对他绝对忠贞 The area codes of greater los angeles.
而在这里 我不过是随时准备偷情的女人 Out here, I'm just another woman who's ready to cheat.
等我两分钟 Give me two minutes.
你呢 丹尼尔 你能讲个更好的故事么 How about you, daniel? you think you can top it?
是丹尼 It's danny.
大男孩丹尼哟 大男孩丹尼哟 Oh, danny boy the danny boys are danny boys
说嘛 我们迫不及待了 讲个故事 Come on, man! we're on pins and needles. give us a story.
好 我有个真正惊悚的故事 Okay, I've got a really good horror story,
它很吓人是因为是个真实的故事 And it's particularly terrifying because it's true.
一个真实的故事啊 Oh, a true story!
在世界上所有的国家 包括我国 In countries all over the world, including our own,
小孩们 和你们一样差不多的 Children, many of them just like you,
被拐卖 Are abducted and sold
进行地下色情交易 Into the world of underground sex trafficking.
他说什么 What is he saying?
你不能往下说了 这真的很可怕 I'm gonna stop you there, danny boy. that is a scary story.
故事讲完了 大家都分好组吧 Story time is over! everybody, let's break into our groups.
A组 和我一起进行午夜密游 Group a, come with me for martin's midnight mystery hike.
B组 和多恩一起 多恩 你准备干吗 And group b, go with Duane. what you got on tap, duane?
我们准备用白巧克力做一些X We are gonna make some s'mores using white chocolate.
我可能不大喜欢那个 但随他们去吧 Well, I'm not sure I agree with that, but to each their own.
这是你全部的安定啊 Hey, hey, danny. is this all your ambien?
对啊 Yeah.
我和康妮要吃一些 Okay, 'cause connie and I are gonna take some,
然后我们就尽可能熬夜 And then we're gonna stay up as late as we can,
因为只要你不睡 Because if you fight the urge to go to sleep,
就会产生幻觉 然后我们就做爱 Things start to get all trippy, and then we're gonna fuck.
订婚的康妮 Connie who's engaged.
没错 Oh, yeah.
别担心 You know what? don't worry about it.
我会给你留点 We'll make do with three each.
别睡 别睡啊 Fight it. come on. stay awake.
很多人不知道灌木和花一样 A lot of people don't realize that bushes, just like flowers,
释放香味 特别是晚上 Emit a wonderful aroma, especially at night.
谁来闻闻这个 Who wants to sniff this bush?
罗尼去远足了 So ronnie's out on some kind of hike.
惠勒在哪 Where's wheeler?
他和某已婚女人做爱呢 He's having sex with a married lady.
-你在缝东西吗 -对的 -Are you sewing? -yeah.
这是我们国家的徽章 This is my country's emblem.
你觉得我们现在能私聊么 Do you think we can speak in private for a second?
行啊 Yeah. yeah.
我和酷兹和安东尼斯说过了 I already talked to kuzzik and artonius,
我们想正式邀请你 And we would like to officially invite
成为赞西亚军的一员 You to be a soldier in the xanthian army.
你真好 Well, that's very kind of you,
但我想礼貌地拒绝 but I would like to respectfully decline.
我是和平主义者 I'm kind of a pacifist.
我不相信虚拟战争 I don't really believe in imaginary bloodshed.
但每种信仰都没错啊 But there's room in laire for all belief systems.
即使野蛮人也有他一席之地 Even early barbaric modalities have their place.
奥基 你是个好孩子 我喜欢你 Augie, look, you're a good kid. I like you,
但我真不喜欢那种亲密的 But I'm not really into the whole buddy-buddy,
大家一起玩的事情 Let's-go-do-stuff-together kind of thing.
那你怎么参加这个 Well, why are you here?
法庭的判决 It's court-ordered.
你犯了什么错 What did you do?
之前我总是早上起来 说 I just had one of those days where you wake up and say,
过去十年我都干吗了 "where did the last 10 years of my life go?"
我一时冲动向我女友求婚 I asked my girlfriend to marry me out of impulse.
她把我甩了 She dumped me.
接着我开着牛一样的车撞上一个马的塑像 And then I ran a truck that looks like a bull into a statue of a horse.
我也是被逼的 I'm not here by choice either, by the way.
不是吗 No?
我的开导师让我来的 My guidance counselor signed me up.
-真的吗 -对 -Really? -yeah.
他说穿斗篷拿剑的 Said anyone who wears a cape and has a sword
应该有更多朋友 should have more friends.
胡扯 对吧 Whoop-dee-doo, right?
原来我们俩都不想来这 So both of us don't want to be here.
不想 No.
我们有共同点了 Well, we got that in common.
你有女朋友没 So do you have a girlfriend?
什么 No. what?
你怎么会问 我没有 Why would you ask... no, I don't have a girlfriend.
那个戴帽子的女孩呢 But what about that girl you're always looking at,
你总是看她啊 with the cap and the...
你在说什么啊 I don't know what you're talking about.
别骗我了 Come on! don't bullshit me.
你总是看她的 You're always looking at her.
你是说埃斯普伦 纳瓦罗的女神吗 You mean esplen, the goddess of navalore?
我不知道 是吧 I don't know. probably.
她叫萨拉 Her name's sarah.
萨拉 Sarah.
对 萨拉 Ah, sarah.
你和她说过话吗 You ever talk to her?
没 No.
在战斗我杀过她几次 I've killed her a couple of times in battle,
那根本不算什么 But that's not really anything.
去和她说话 Talk to her.
不 我不能和她说话 No, I can't talk to her.
说点好话 来点美好回忆 她肯定喜欢 Romance her. give her that patch of yours. she'll love it.
我不能把这个给她 No, I can't give her this.
她肯定会喜欢的 干吗不呢 She'll be flattered! why not?
我给你做的 I made it for you.
你给我做的 You made that for me?
对 Yeah.
你厉害 我不得不参加了 Great. now I gotta do it.
我就是这么想的 Yeah, that kind of was my plan.
伙计 你太卑鄙啦 That was so low, dude.
别这样啊 康妮 别睡着了 No. come on, connie. stay awake.
妈的 Fuck.
我要拉屎 I gotta pee.
马丁 你好啊 Hey! martin!
你在这干吗呢 What are you doing out here?
我在检查周围环境呢 I'm just doing my perimeter check.
你知道恐龙没有灭绝吗 Hey, did you know that dinosaurs are not extinct?
因为鸟就是恐龙后代 它们到处都是 Because birds are dinosaurs, and they're everywhere.
这样啊 Now, all right.
我要拉屎了 真的 I gotta pee. I really gotta pee.
你看那啊 Look at that.
wheeler 你在吗 Yo, wheeler! you in there?
我的天 Oh, my god.
不错啊 伙计 Dude. nice, man.
这真是地上男人的经典啊 This is a classic case of guy on the ground.
-对不起 -关我屁事 -I'm sorry. -I don't care.
好嘛 Okay.
我听说旅行当中有一些淫乱 So I heard there was some sex on the trip
还有毒品 And some drugs, too.
就差摇滚乐了 Only thing missing was rock 'n' roll.
丹尼带镇静剂做什么 What was danny doing with those ambiens?
在户外他容易失眠 He has trouble sleeping outdoors.
惠勒怎么会裸体躺在营中 How did wheeler come to be naked in the center of camp?
他梦游 He was sleepwalking.
丹尼给你毒品了吗 Danny ever offer you drugs? well...
-回答我 -没有 女士 - Answer me. - no, ma'am.
惠勒在你面前裸露自己了吗 Did wheeler ever expose himself to you?
当然没有 Hell no!
伙计 这些小伙子在这里决定你们的命运 Fellows? these young gentlemen here have decided your fates.
如果由我决定 我会把你们俩锁起来 If it was up to me, I'd lock you both up,
但是他们说你们没事了 But the boys are saying you're okay.
这是你们最后一次机会 请表现得像个大人 This is your last chance. start acting like bigs.
谢谢 伙计 Thanks, guys.
少来 驯鹿游戏 Suck it, reindeer games!
我不是本·阿弗莱克（电影《驯鹿游戏》男主演） I'm not Ben Affleck.
你是白人 那你就是本·阿弗莱克 You white? then you Ben Affleck.
-是吧 惠勒 -是的 你是白人 - Right, wheeler? - Yeah. you are white.
这倒是真的 我是白人 That's true, I am white.
我们走 Let's go.
准备走了 Ready to go?
是的 我准备好了 都好了 Yeah. I'm ready. all right.
精彩 Excellent!
你就要挂啦 You are going down!
别小看我的黑魔法 Don't you mess with my dark arts.
你就等着被宰吧 You shall be slain.
我操 对不起 Fuck my cock! sorry.
-我有一个问题 惠勒 -好的 JJ - I have a question, Wheeler. yes, jj.
你需要多少次约会才能 How many dates do you have to go out
有机会碰一个女孩的 With a girl before you get to touch her...
-咪咪 -是的 - Boobs? yeah.
好问题 Good question.
所以你被击中手臂 So you get hit in the arm,
-你就失去了你的手臂 -是的 You lose your arm. yes.
你要把手藏起来 像这样 You gotta put it behind you, like this.
你的腿被击中 你就没腿了 You get hit in the leg, you lose the leg.
再见腿 See you.
所以你要单脚跳 So you gotta hop.
-你不能再用它了 -你要独脚到处跳 - You can't use it. - You gotta hop around?
是的是的 你是独脚 Yeah. yeah, you gotta hop.
如果你被击中胸部 然么你就 And if you get hit in the chest, then you're...
选择的生活方式 Lifestyle you chose
-会导致一个人孤独悲伤地死去 -什么 不会 - Could lead to dying sad and alone? - what? No
那性病呢 疱疹 What about stds? Herpes?
-淋病 至少 会有阴虱 -这算什么事儿 - Gonorrhea? at the very least, crabs. - what the hell?
我没有阴虱 你告诉他们什么了 罗尼 I don't have crabs. what have you been telling them, ronnie?
你有阴虱 You got crabs.
快来 白人 跳舞 把桥跳塌 吓吓人 Come on, whitey, dance! break it on down! get it funky!
他出局了 He's out.
谢谢 Thank you. yep.
打电话给她 给她灌蜜糖 Call her. sweep her off her feet.
没这么容易 奥基 It's not that easy, augie.
就是让她知道你的感觉 Just let her know how you feel.
给她打个电话 Give her one call.
好吧 我会 All right. I'ii...
别再嘲笑我了 Just get off my back.
你知道在14世纪 Did you know in the 14th century that
骑士们写情歌和情诗 Knights used to write love songs and poems
给他们的爱人 for the women they loved,
即使她已经结婚了 Even if she was married?
不 我不知道 No, I didn't know that.
好了 你快点吧 Well, there you go.
是她的语音信箱 It's her voice mail.
贝丝 你怎么样 是我 Hey, Beth. how's it going? it's me.
告诉她她的头发耀眼夺目 听着 Tell her her hair is like 1,000 suns. look, i...
我不知道你是不是愿意聚一下 I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together.
我知道我有很多事想和你说 I know there's a lot of stuff I'd like to say.
会说话的眼睛 Whispering eye.
所以 如果你方便给我回电然后 So, if you get a chance, give me a call back and...
-你渴望她迷人的眼睛 -我们可以 - You long for her whispering eye. - We can...
我们可以见一面 We can see each other.
我很想见你 I'd love to see you.
和你迷人的眼睛 And her whispering eye.
和你迷人的眼睛 And your whispering eye.
好吧 再见 All right. bye.
迷人的眼睛 Whispering eye?
意思是阴道 It means vagina.
它的意思是阴道 It means vagina.
真让人感动 That's a classy move, man.
它的意思是阴道 It means vagina.
是的 带着迷人的眼睛上车 奥基 Yeah. get your whispering eye in the cab, Augie.
阴道 Vagina!
谢谢你来见我 Thanks for meeting me.
我给你拿了一杯梵特茶 I got you a venti chai,
这儿的人就这么叫大杯 我也喜欢这么叫 Which is what they call a large here, which I love.
有转变 There's a transformation.
是的 你知道 Yes, well, you know,
我已经做社区服务近一个月了 I've been doing this community service for almost a month,
我真的觉得我对某些事情的看法改变了 And I really feel as if it's given me some perspective on things.
那太好了 我希望这是真的 丹尼 Well, that's great. I hope that's true, Danny.
那么我们结婚吧 So let's get married.
好吧 我现在要走了 等等 Okay, I'm gonna leave now. wait.
丹尼 你没把这次分手当回事儿 Danny, you are not taking this breakup seriously.
是的 因为我不想分手 Yeah, because I don't want it.
难道你以为我想吗 Do you really think I wanted this?
看 这就是我们 Look. hey. this is us.
这不是我们 This is not us.
我们已经不再是我们了 因为你变了 We have not been us in a while, because you are not you.
丹尼 你不开心 Danny, you're not happy.
我和你在一起七年了 I've been with you seven years,
而情况还在变差 and it's been getting progressively worse.
我觉得自己很没用不能让你开心一点 And it makes me feel bad about me that I can't make you happier.
我上哪去找一个女孩恨我做的所有这些事 Where am I gonna find a girl who hates all the same things I do?
你很浪漫 You're so romantic.
"你使我的生命完美"（《甜心先生》经典台词） "you complete me. "
-"你那句‘你好’就掠走了我的心" -哦天啊 丹尼 - "you had me at 'hello. '" - oh, god. danny.
真的 贝丝 你不是 Come on, beth. you're not...
你没有听我跟你说的话 You're not hearing what I'm saying to you.
我只是男孩面前那个羞涩的女孩 请她爱她 "i am just a girl standing in front of a boy, telling her to love her. "
你根本不知道这句（《诺丁山》经典台词原文为“请他爱她”） You don't even know that one.
拜托 Hey. come on.
你将打电话给谁 "who you gonna call?"
-"捉鬼敢死队" -好了你知道吗 - "ghost busters. " - Okay. you know what?
不 我提议分手 这对我们都好 No. I am committing to this breakup. this is the best thing for us.
你可以找我当你需要法律建议的时候 You can call me if you need legal advice.
快来 让我们杀了卡塞多尼亚人 Come on! let's kill some cacedonians!
我拿了些东西给你穿 And I got a little something-something for you to wear.
是的 我不会穿这个的 Yeah, I'm not gonna wear this.
不穿吗 No?
很快的 很快你会想穿的 Soon enough. soon enough you'll want it.
是啊 Yeah.
惠勒 怎样了 Yo, wheeler. what up, dog?
你这无赖 在做什么 you scoundrel. what are you doing, man?
霍根今晚有一个派对 伙计 你得来 Yo, hogan's having another party tonight, man. you gotta go.
那里会有很多大屁股的妞 小妞 There's gonna be a lot of sweet-ass pussy there, girl pussy.
谢谢邀请 不过这次不行 Thanks for the offer. maybe some other time.
你是老大 惠勒 你是老大 You're the king, wheeler. you're the king.
兄弟 别因为我放弃那些大屁股妞 Dude, don't give up that sweet-ass pussy on my account.
我会和你一起去的 I'll go with you.
好吧 如果你这么说 Okay. if you say so.
好的 你是我的犯党 惠勒 All right. you're my pic, wheeler.
-什么是犯党 -犯罪搭档 - What's a pic? - Partner in crime.
你是我的犯党 今晚就不要阻拦我 You're my pic. just don't cock-block me tonight.
想都别想 我们会玩得开心的 Wouldn't dream of it. we'll have a great time.
我们要去派对 我们可以吃点批萨 We'll go to the party, we'll get some zah,
玩些电子游戏 Play some xbox.
太TMD对了 Damn straight.
同胞们 享受空气中战斗的味道吧 Countrymen, smell the battle in the air!
艾斯莱 纳瓦罗女神 Esplen, goddess of navalore.
维纳斯也会嫉妒的 布鲁门 见到你很高兴 Venus herself would be jealous. braman, good to see you.
晨安 先生 您晨安 Good morrow, sir! good morrow to you.
早上好 Good morning.
把你的剑磨尖但是你的智慧更尖锐 Keep your blades sharp but your wits sharper.
葛立波 看你的尊容 Ah! gleebo, look at you. a visage.
伙计们 准备与剑共舞 Men, get ready to dance with swords!
呜呼 今 Alack and allay!
天墨丘利神带给我们多好的臣民 what lovely vassal has mercury delivered upon us today
还穿着这样奇怪可怕的衣服 And in such strange and frightful attire?
让我们感谢众神 Let us thank the gods
为泽沙希亚送来一个如此勇敢英勇的战士 For sending us such a brave and valiant warrior to xanthia.
欢迎列斯特 All hail lunesta.
欢迎 列色特 Hail, lunesta!
-一切如何 -列色特 - How's it going? - lunesta?
这不是一种安眠药的名字吗 Isn't that a sleeping pill?
是的 这是因为我让敌人进入永恒的安眠之处 Yeah. it's 'cause I send my enemies to their eternal resting place.
"睡吧 偶尔做些梦" (《哈姆雷特》经典台词) "to sleep, perchance to dream. "
好了 欢迎列斯特 祝你战斗愉快 Well, welcome, lunesta. we bid you good battle.
准备好动摇你的世界观吧 Prepare to have your worldview rocked.
让我们来吧 Let's do this.
让我们来吧 我们都来 Let's do this, we shall!
战斗开始 The battle begins!
回来斗争 懦夫 Turn and fight, coward!
你永远不会抓住我 You'll never catch me!
你发现什么了 What have you got?
这些卡塞多尼亚人包围了我们的族人 The cacedonians have our kinsmen surrounded.
把他们留给达维斯 Leave them for Davith.
准备接受格雷爆裂之击吧 Prepare for a glencracken!
战友们 Comrades!
卡塞多尼亚 Cacedonia!
王现在没人保护 The king is unprotected.
我可以从后面接近他 I shall approach him from the rear.
上帝拯救你 God save you!
见鬼 好吧 你杀了我 我知道了 Oh, fuck me. all right. you got it. I got you.
这个是 你看上去真让人惊奇 That's... you look amazing.
谢谢 伙计 Thanks, man.
你已经死了 You're dead.
没门 我杀了你 No way. I killed you.
你没杀死我 现在退出战斗场所 You didn't kill me. now exeunt this battlefield.
等一下 这不公平 Wait a second. that's not fair.
听着 你个小蠢蛋 Listen, you little twerp.
你已经被强大的王宰了 现在接受失败 You've been slain by the mighty king. now get lost,
带着虽死尤荣的骄傲死去吧 And take some pride in dying an honorable death.
不 但是我已经杀了你 No, but I killed you.
在我杀了你之后你不能再杀我了 You can't kill me after I already killed you.
格雷爆裂的达维斯 Davith of glencracken.
是的 我的陛下 Yes, my liege.
他杀了我吗 Didst he slay me?
他没有杀掉王 He doth not slay the king.
事情发生的时候你又不在这儿 You weren't even here when it happened!
也在这里 Was too here.
各位 我告诉你们真相 我杀了王 Everyone, I'm telling you the truth. I killed the king!
我 I...
为什么你们不相信我 我发誓 Why don't you believe me? I swear...
赞西亚人哭泣来像个小姑娘 Dost the xanthian weep like a maiden?
为什么你们嘲笑我 Why are you laughing at me?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
丹尼 我没有 Danny, I didn't...
我杀了王 哦天啊 I killed the king. oh, my god.
你说谎 You're lying.
你刚叫我骗子 你是一个骗子 Are you calling me a liar? you're a liar.
丹尼 算了 我们在出去 没关系 Danny, just drop it. let's just get out of here. it doesn't matter.
你是说一个小孩可以杀掉强大的王 Are you telling me a kid could slay the mighty king?
不能杀一个真的王 但是你 可以 Not a real king, but you, yeah.
-你在说谎 我看得出来 -丹尼 住口 - You're lying. I can tell. - Danny, stop.
他杀了你 给他你的帽子 He killed you. give him your hat.
这是王冠 It's a crown.
-给他你的帽子 -丹尼 -Give him your hat. - Danny.
这是王冠 兄弟 It's a crown, dude!
兄弟 你是个骗子 Dude! you're a liar.
这不过是一片塑料 It's a piece of plastic.
好了 游戏结束 Okay, game over.
你们俩永远被驱逐出莱尔 You both are disqualified from laire forever.
什么 你开玩笑吧 What? are you kidding me?
奥基 奥基 Augie! augie!
奥基 Augie.
让我一个人待会儿 Leave me alone.
听着 我很抱歉 Look. I'm sorry.
不 你不用抱歉 你根本不关心这些 No, you're not sorry. you don't care about any of this!
这不公平 This is so unfair!
过来 哥们 我不是你哥们 Hey, come on, buddy. I'm not your buddy!
你做这些都是因为法官让你这么做 You're only doing this because the judge is making you.
你知道什么 你不在乎也没事 And you know what? that's fine if you don't give a shit,
但是你不用毁了它 因为我在乎 But you don't have to ruin it for me, because I do give a shit!
我很在乎 I give lots of shits!
看 一起会好的 Look, it's gonna be okay.
不 不会好的 No, it's not gonna be okay!
你是最差的辅导员 You're the worst mentor ever!
一点都不奇怪你女朋友离开你 你个畜生 No wonder your girlfriend left you, you asshole!
惠勒 什么了 伙计 Yo, wheeler. what's up, man?
嘿 过的怎样 Hey. what's up?
很好 孩子 让我们混进去吧 Okay, kid. let's mingle.
走吧 Let's do it.
-打搅一下 小姐 -好的 - Excuse me, miss. - yes?
你就像巧克力草莓一样性感 You're sexy like a chocolate strawberry.
谁教你这么说的 Who told you to say that?
那是惠勒 That's wheeler,
我的犯党 My pic.
不错 继续 宝贝 Nice. come on, baby!
传球 不 Pass it. no.
不 不 No. no!
我要去嘘嘘 Hey. I'm gonna rock a squirt,
你照看一下这个小孩 So you watch the kid for a few minutes?
没问题 你是老大 惠勒 你是老大 Sure thing. you're the king, wheeler. you're the king.
是的 好吧 Yeah, okay.
队真长 Long line.
我见过更长的 I've seen longer.
-我们见过吗 -我不知道 见过吗 - Have we met? - I don't know. have we?
你是做什么的 Well, what do you do?
我现在暂时休息中 Well, I'm kind of on hiatus right now,
而我的职业是穿成牛头人让孩子远离毒品 But my job is to dress up like a minotaur and keep kids off drugs.
对了 我知道你了 我在摩根小学教书 Well, that's how I know you. I teach at morgan elementary.
很有趣 因为我觉得小学很火辣 That's so funny, 'cause I think elementary school is hot.
-你在这里干什么 -我想和你谈谈 - What are you doing here? - I wanted to talk to you.
不 我现在不想和你谈 No, I don't want to talk to you right now.
嗨 丹尼 Hey, danny.
你决定来吃晚饭了 太好了 快进来 You decided to come for dinner. great. come on in.
-谢谢 -见鬼 - Thanks. - God damn it!
他怎么了 What's up his cooz?
我应该多去尿尿 I should take a piss more often.
我不知道 我没有'雨衣' I don't know. I don't got a raincoat.
不用担心 我很尊重人的选择 Don't worry. I'm very pro-choice.
好的 Okay.
上帝 我真的在踢你屁股了 God, I'm really kicking your ass.
因为这是足球 That's because this is soccer.
黑人不踢足球（在美国黑人多玩橄榄球） Black folks don't play soccer.
这个人是黑人 就在那里 That guy's black. right there.
你坐下 年轻人 You sit down, young man.
你是个坏孩子 You have been a bad boy!
我很坏 I've been bad.
现在你必须给我留堂 And now you're gonna have to stay after class.
哦伙计 听着 Oh, man. look.
尽管这是我四大幻想之一 Even though this is one of my top four all-time fantasies,
但是我不能 行吗 I can't, okay?
我很想 但是我必须去找我朋友了 I want to, but I gotta go find my friend.
哦 是吗 Oh, yeah?
你确定 You sure?
哦我的天啊 Oh, my god.
去做你需要做的事情 Do what you need to do.
他应该没事 他已经十岁了 过来 He'll be fine. he's 10. come here.
来吧 Let's go.
看看这进球 This is how it ends.
胜利 我赢了 Game winner! I win!
换人了 迈克 Let's go, Michael.
换你了伙计 Man, forget you, man.
小人得志啊 That's booty, son.
来吧 我选好了 Let's go. I'm ready.
我就是游戏之王 They don't call me the king of this game for nothing!
惠勒 跑哪去了 Wheeler, where you at?
惠勒 惠勒 惠勒 Wheeler? wheeler. wheeler.
惠勒 Wheeler.
丹尼 你的义工生活就快结束了 So, Danny, you must be glad that you're almost done
一定很高兴吧 With your required time with Augie.
你还得干多长时间 How much time do you have left?
还有十一二个小时吧 Eleven, twelve hours or so.
奥基 你怎么跟死了金鱼一样沮丧 Jeez, Augie. You're acting like your goldfish died.
-我没养金鱼 吉姆 -你知道我什么意思 -I don't have a goldfish, Jim. -You know what I mean.
你的样子就像你养了条金鱼 而它却死了 You're acting like as if you had a goldfish and it died.
奥基今天心情不好 Augie kind of got screwed over today.
我把那国王杀了 妈 I killed the king, mom.
对 他杀掉了国王 Okay. he killed the king.
-好了 好了 别鼓励他了 -他确实杀掉了国王 -All right. all right. Don't encourage him. -He did kill the king.
但是他却不承认 他对大家说是他杀了我 But he was lying to everyone and told everyone that he killed me.
我可不想再听你们唠叨什么地牢啊 I don't wanna hear any more about your dungeons and dragons
飞龙啊 什么的 Or your fruity cocoa puffs...
那是他的乐园 It's all fairyland with him.
我们只是想让他回到现实 We're trying to keep it... we're trying to keep it real.
纳瓦罗女神 看见我哭了 妈妈 The goddess of Navalore saw me cry, mom.
奥基 我小的时候有一回 Hey, Augie, when I was a little kid, I accidentally
在我喜欢的女孩面前拉裤子了 Crapped my pants in front of a girl I liked,
所以我知道你的痛苦 So I feel your pain.
他喜欢女孩 不错啊 真令我惊讶 Well, He likes girls. That's a good thing. That's a surprise to me.
重要的是国王把我踢出局了 Doesn't matter anyway. He got me kicked out.
-什么 -什么 你没开玩笑吧 -What? -what? You're kidding me.
他们能把你踢出局 They can kick you out?
-是啊 我被赶出来了 -那太棒了 -Yeah, I'm banned. -This is a great thing.
-你也该长大了 -这是不是意味着 -Way to go, big guy. -Does this mean
我们能把你做的那些靴子 We can finally get rid of those boots
和那些可怕的披肩扔掉了 And that god-awful cape that you made out of my tablecloth?
我烦死那些东西了 I'm so sick of this.
我去把那些烧掉 I'll burn them up in a...
一定要烧掉 我们是认真的 We'll have a bonfire. we'll make a thing of it.
你们不觉得他穿那些衣服时很快乐吗 Don't you want him to wear what makes him happy?
是的 是的 我知道 Yes. yes, I do. yes.
你知道我什么时候才想让他穿那些吗 You know when I want him to wear what makes him happy?
10月31号 万圣节的时候 无论他怎么疯 On october 31st. Halloween, Go nuts.
抹口红 我都不介意 Wear lipstick. I don't care.
是啊 是啊 Yeah. yeah.
-打扮成修女都无所谓 -对 -You know, dress like a nun. -Sure.
我们会搞个庆典 We're gonna have a celebration
庆祝你回到现实世界 To celebrate you joining the rest of the world.
-庆祝他变得正常 -他本来就很正常 -Becoming a normal kid. -He is a normal kid.
-你觉得他正常吗 -是啊 我觉得他很正常 -You think he's normal? -yeah, I think he's normal.
-你认为他正常 -他真的正常 -You think he's normal. -He's normal.
我像他这么大的时候 When I was his age,
我同时交了四五个女友 我不是和你说过吗 I had four, five girlfriends at one time. didn't I tell you that?
他还上了他的表姐 He was fucking his cousin.
我没有上我表姐 I wasn't fucking my cousin. i...
我们只是接吻了 我不知道他是我表姐 We kissed, because I didn't know she was my cousin,
当我知道后 我就不再吻她 But when I found out, I stopped kissing her,
但我上了她朋友 but I fucked her friends.
我上了表姐的朋友 I fucked my cousin's friends.
我觉得奥基正面临着生命中最艰苦的时期 I think that Augie is just having kind of a tough time in life,
-虽然我已经习以为常 -生活就是艰苦的 -Which sounds pretty normal to me. -Life is tough.
-是很艰难 但是你知道吗 -我也这么想 -It is tough. but you know what? -This is my point.
以后还会更艰难 当你 It's tougher when you...
和你们这样的父母在一起时 With parents like you?
不好意思 你刚才说什么 Excuse me? what did you just say?
我说生活确实艰难 I said it is tough,
但是有你们这样的父母生活会更艰难 but I think it's tougher with parents like you.
我还以为我刚才听错了 I thought that's what you just said.
我不知道你是怎么过来的 孩子 I don't know how you do it, kid.
我总认为我的生活很一团糟 I mean, I thought my life sucked.
天啊 我真的很同情你 Jesus christ, I really feel for you.
好了 够了 Okay. that's enough.
别听他们的 Don't listen to them, all right?
只要你高兴 想穿披肩你就穿披肩 Do what makes you happy. You want to wear a cape? Wear a cape.
想穿盔甲就穿盔甲 谁会在乎呢 You want to wear a suit of armor? Who gives a shit?
知道吗 You know what?
如果我早知道你是来挑拨离间的 I would never have invited you over for moussaka
我就不该留你吃晚餐 不好意思 If I'd known you were gonna be such a prick. Excuse me.
奥基 别理他们 Augie, screw them.
去做你喜欢的事 Do what makes you happy.
-去做你喜欢的 -老兄 -Do what makes you happy. -Hey, buddy...
请你离开吧 I'd like you to leave now, please.
我觉得你们应该 I figure you're probably
不会再给我签义工表了 Not gonna sign my hours sheet now.
去死吧你 Go fuck yourself.
我就知道 奥基 对不起 That's what I thought. hey, Augie, I'm sorry.
给我滚蛋 Get the hell out.
-如果他是我孩子 我会很关心他的 -快走 -I'd be psyched if he was my kid. -Please.
你知道吗 甜心 And you know what, sweetheart?
你是我们的孩子 我们很关心你 It's not that we're not psyched that you're our kid.
我们爱你 我爱你 我不能忍受 We're psyched. I'm so psyched, I can't stand it.
你妈很在意你 因为你是她的孩子 Your mom's psyched that you're her kid.
我能先离开吗 妈妈 May I please be excused, mom?
罗尼 去哪了 Hey. where's Ronnie?
罗尼是谁 老兄 Who's Ronnie, dude?
该死 罗尼 Oh, shit. Ronnie!
罗尼 Ronnie.
-你好呀兄弟 -你好 -What's up, man? -Hey. how you doing?
谁看见和我一起来的小孩了 Anybody see the little kid I was with?
我是凯伦 罗尼的妈妈 This is karen, Ronnie's mother.
罗尼本该在几小时之前就回来了 Ronnie was supposed to be home a few hours ago.
还是我凯伦 This is Karen again.
你能给我打电话告诉我你们在哪吗 Can you guys please call me and let me know where you are?
罗尼刚刚回来 他居然是走回来的 Ronnie just got in. He walked all the way home. What the hell...
-你们别干了 -听着 -You're out. -Look...
不 不 不 结束了 你们搞砸了 No, no, no, no. it's over. You blew it. it's done. okay?
我知道你的意思 我们很抱歉 I hear what you're saying. we're very sorry,
但是我们只差11个小时了 but we're 11 hours short.
你们还少11个小时吗 我不知道 And you're gonna stay 11 hours short, okay? I don't know.
但是孩子们的父母 不想你们再带他们了 Parents don't want you hanging around with their kids
一定有内情 for some reason.
所以你们两被退回了 So you bsed a bser.
看看你们 你们俩还自我感觉良好 他妈的 Good for you! I hope you feel good about yourself, god damn it!
你们知道吗 我本可以回纽约 You know, I could be back in New york
在小村吸着可卡因 但我却没有 Doing cocaine in the village, but I'm not.
知道为什么吗 孩子是第一位的 You know why? Kids come first.
他们对你们来说不是第一位的 是吗 They don't come first for you, do they?
对你们来说他们排在自私的后面 They come second to your selfishness.
那你们俩怎么不回家去 So why don't you two guys go home,
收起你们所说的 Put down some lines of selfishness,
虚伪的话语 Which is your blow,
拉上窗帘 扔掉电话 Close the shades, take the phone off the hook,
喝个酩酊大醉 Grab a straw and snort?
还有 别指望我帮你们作证 And don't expect me to testify on your behalf.
你们根本不是合格的乘风之翼协会成员 You're not sturdy wings material.
看来你们俩得坐牢了 I think you guys are gonna have to go to jail.
我们现在唯一能做的 The only thing we can do now
就是在听证会上表明你们已经尽力了 Is make a case at the hearing that you did your best.
而我也会尽我做为一个律师应尽的义务 It's gonna take some serious lawyering on my part.
拜托了贝丝 好好帮我们辩护 Yeah. Beth, please. Lawyer the shit out of it.
但我什么也不能保证 I just can't promise anything.
-什么事惠勒 -提问 Yes, wheeler? -Question.
也许这问题有点愚蠢 但我搞不明白 Maybe a stupid one, but I'm just spit-balling here.
能让我们免受牢狱之灾 The get out of jail free card,
是光看以前的表现 还是 Is that based on something that exists or...
这个问题并不愚蠢 That wasn't a stupid question.
这是现实 That's real.
虚幻也是来源现实 It's real in the game of monopoly.
是的 以现实为标准 Yeah, it's based on true events.
你什么意思 How... what do you mean?
我们还有机会 Chance.
真不敢相信 我们会坐牢 I can't believe we're going to jail.
接受现实吧 Believe it.
也许你该转两圈 Hey, maybe you'll roll doubles. you know?
如果还不信 就再转一圈 If not, you just miss three turns.
商用表情 老兄 Game face, bro.
我告诉过你 商用表情 I told you. game face.
别提什么商用表情了 好吗 Enough with the game face, all right?
这又不是沙滩排球 This isn't beach volleyball.
不是吗 如果你仔细想想 Is it not? Because, if you think about it,
球网就像是你生命中的目标 而你就是球 The net is like your goals in life, and you are the ball.
你可能会被网拦住 或者你越过球网 And you can spike the ball down, or you, over the net.
-闭嘴 闭嘴 -接着你就到了边线 -Shut up, shut up, shut up. -Then you go into sidelines.
已经够糟了 我都要坐牢了 It's bad enough I'm going to jail.
我真受不了你在我耳边嗡嗡了 I can't take it anymore with you yapping away.
嗡嗡 嗡嗡 Yap, yap, yip, yip.
-打起精神老兄 -也许我该学你说 -"Bang your drum, bro. " -Maybe I should be like you.
"我恨我自己 但我还是高人一等" "I hate myself, yet I'm better than everyone. "
看看你 你带一个10岁的小孩去派对 You're one to talk. You took a 10-year-old to a party
却把他一个人丢下跑去找人口交 And left him so you could go get a blow job.
不是口交 我们做了 It wasn't a blow job. We fucked.
拜托 注意文明用语 Please! watch your language!
-对不起 -不好意思 -Sorry. -sorry.
你真是个狗屎朋友 You are an s- h-i-t-t-y friend.
他会拼写 He can spell.
我不是你的朋友 I'm not your friend.
你想分道扬镳 You wanna go?
住手 Stop it!
你有种 丹尼 现在你真的没朋友了 There you go, Danny. Now you got no friends.
不好意思 Sorry.
-你好 -你好啊 我是惠勒 -Hello? -Hey, ro-ro. it's wheeler.
我爱通心粉
马丁是同性恋 被机器人强暴
你们俩必须在下午3点之前 So you guys have to be at the courthouse
出庭受审 明白吗 No later than 3:00 p. m., okay?
好的 All right.
-拜托你们别迟到 -放心吧 我知道了 -Please, do not be late. -No. I know.
我会去的 No, I'll be there.
你不必总是在这时候吃早饭 You don't always have to get breakfast this time of day.
你好 国王 Hiya, king.
冷静 冷静 我不是来找麻烦的 No, no, no. I don't mean to cause trouble.
我只是想来给上次的行为 I just wanted to come by and apologize
道个歉 For the way that I behaved last time.
上次我是有点失态 真是抱歉 I... I lost my temper when I saw you last, and that was regrettable.
别再提那次了 你这个没有礼貌的家伙 Not to mention highly illegal, you jackanape.
-我知道 都是我的错 -谁的鸡蛋卷 -I know. it's just that my... -Denver omelet?
我的 谢谢 Right here. Thank you.
你看 我朋友上次有点沮丧 It's just my friend was upset, you see,
他认为他刺中了你 And he thought he'd stabbed you.
当然那是不可能的 He hadn't. Of course he hadn't.
继续说 Go on.
我只是想说 It's just that...
是我导致了他那天的疯狂行为 I accidentally cast an unbreakable madness spell on him.
-那可真愚蠢 -我知道 -Well, that was stupid. -I know, right?
其实我本不想那样 I didn't mean to.
你们俩可真是鲁莽 You guys are reckless out there.
是啊 有神奇的魔法在保护着我 知道吗 Yeah. unsafe. okay, I had a protection spell on me. all right?
但是当你们碰到我的时候 护盾会隐形 But it had faded off when you touched me,
所以别想 so don't flatter yourself
再回来对付我了 知道吗 Thinking you can come back at me, okay,
我可不想再让你们刺到我 'cause I would love to see you penetrate me again.
总之 我只是想知道 Anyway, I was just wondering
您能不能再认真考虑一下 If maybe you could see it in your heart
让他去参加今天的战斗 To let him fight today on the battlefield.
他喜欢莱尔 胜过一切 He loves Laire more than anything.
他虽然是个孩子 但他有着雄狮般的内心 He's just a kid, but he's got the heart of a lion...
老虎般的眼睛 ...and the eye of the tiger.
还要咖啡吗 More coffee?
不了 我要无咖啡因咖啡 No, I'm decaf.
谢谢 Okay.
要是他这么勇敢 If he be so brave,
那他今天怎么不亲自来 Why doth he not show his face here today?
难道这也要你代劳 Do you fight all his battles?
他不知道我来这 He knows not I'm here.
他的自尊心过强 He hath too much pride.
魔法治疗药水 男巫 Magic healing potion. Wizards...
你们好 How's it going?
告诉你的族人 Tell your kinsman
我们今天战场上见 We shall see him on the battlefield today.
谢谢 谢谢您 国王陛下 Thank you. thank you, Noble king.
真的要吻吗 Really?
这是你的荣幸 You know you want it.
现在你可以走了 小子 Now exit my burger hole, boy.
告诉赞西亚族人 Make it known to the Xanthians that
如果他们让奥基加入 If they let Augie fight with them,
我们就把他们全部干掉 We'll destroy each and every one of them, without mercy,
绝不留情 Before the first apple-cider break.
你好啊 犯党 Hey, what's up, my pic?
罗尼 罗尼 Ronnie. Ronnie.
你给我听着 You need to listen to me
听好了 我可是个野兽般的女人 And listen good. I am a very animalistic woman,
非常有兽性 A very animalistic woman,
要是有谁对我儿子不好 我就是一头母狮 And when it comes to my son, I am a lioness,
黑色母狮 A black sheba.
黑色母狮 知道了 听我解释 Black sheba. yeah, But listen...
我是头母狮 I am a lioness,
而那个小孩就是我的幼兽 And that boy is my cub,
如果你要是对我的幼兽不好 And if you let anything bad happen to my cub,
我就把你的屁股撕成两半 I will claw your ass up until you shit sideways.
-明白了吗 -明白了 -Do you understand? -Yes.
你会把我的屁股撕成两半 You'll tear me up so bad that when I shit, it'll come out sideways.
-我明白了 -好的 -I understand. -Okay.
其实罗尼挺喜欢你的 It's just, Ronnie looks up to you. okay?
但他不想再被丢下了 He doesn't need another man leaving him behind.
我知道 我知道 我错了 I know. I know. I fucked up, okay?
这孩子表现的如此倔强 I... the kid acts so tough,
我真没想到会伤害到他 I didn't know I could hurt him, you know?
我只想和他道歉 行吗 I'm determined to make it up to him. all right?
我的意思是 当我从监狱出来后 What I'm trying to say is that when I get out of prison,
我能不能再带你10岁大的儿子去玩 Could I hang out with your 10-year-old son?
好吧 你还是自己问他吧 Well, you're gonna have to ask him yourself.
你好 罗尼 Hey. Ronnie.
听着 我很抱歉 Look. I'm sorry, okay?
我知道也许我不配 I know I don't deserve it,
但是别管是不是乘风之翼的成员 But sturdy wings or no sturdy wings,
我都希望做你的大朋友 I want to be your big.
好吧 我是你的小朋友 Okay. I'm your little,
你是我的大朋友 我喜欢 You're my big. I like that.
对于上次那个大朋友 Can I tell you how deeply,
我真的深深的感到抱歉 Deeply I regret this situation with this latest big?
完全无法接受 而且那也不是 It's completely unacceptable, and at sturdy wings,
我们乘风之翼的作风 It's not how we roll.
所以我给你推荐加里先生 So I'm going to guarantee you that Mr. Gary
他是位经验丰富而且值得信赖的志愿者 Is our most experienced and dependable volunteer.
这么说吧 Let me put it this way.
在乘风之翼这几年 如果我每年攒5美分 If I had a nickel for every year that I've been with sturdy wings,
那我攒的钱都够 I would have enough money to
玩一次吃豆人游戏了 Play a game of pac-man.
已经五年了 Been five years.
如果我在健全翅膀再待5年 And if I stay with sturdy wings for another five years,
那我就有钱再玩一局了 Then I'll have enough for another round.
-再玩一局吃豆人 -是啊 -Another round of pac-man. -Right.
每年5美分 5年就是 Five cents for every year, times five...
-25美分 -我们会算术 -That's 25. -We get it.
25美分是4分之一美元 That's 25 cents. That's a quarter.
我记得玩一次吃豆人要50美分 But the pac-man here, I think it's 50 cents.
-你在这干什么 -我是来救你的 -What are you doing here? -I'm breaking you out.
今天有国战 你参加吗 There's a nation at war. Are you in?
当然 Aye.
好的 我也参加 走 Aye... I am, too. Come on.
惠勒没给我回电话 Wheeler hasn't called me back.
你们俩想逃 还是怎么着 Are you guys gonna make it or what?
我不知道 贝丝 I don't know, Beth.
我是说我不知道惠勒去不去 但我会去的 I mean, I can't speak for Wheeler, but I'll be there.
-你得向我保证 -好的 我保证 -You gotta promise me. -Yeah, I promise. I just...
我先帮奥基处理点事 然后我就过去 I'm helping Augie with something, and then I'm on my way, okay?
-3点在区法庭 -知道了 -County courthouse, 3:00. -All right.
小子 我要把那帮鸟人杀得屁滚尿流 Man, I'm gonna kick some Cacedonian ass.
一点儿不错 Yeah, totally.
是安东尼斯 It's Artonius.
代我向他问好 Bid him good morrow.
日安 安东尼斯 Greetings, Artonius.
告诉你个不幸的消息 Get ready for some pain.
什么 等等 不 你不能这么做 What? what? wait. no, no. you can't do that.
-你被逐出赞西亚了 -扯什么呢 - You're out of Xanthia. - What are you talking about?
抱歉 布佛干 Sorry, Blufgan.
算了吧 丹尼 Forget it, Danny.
他们说 我顶多是个包袱 They said I'm too much of a liability.
我被逐出赞西亚了 They're kicking me out of Xanthia.
什么 真的假的 What? are you serious?
去他妈的 我们建一个新王国 Screw them. we'll start our own country.
办不到的 We can't.
所有服装的颜色和 All my costumes have the same colors
标志都跟赞西亚一模一样 And same symbols as Xanthia.
再说 就两人怎么建立国家 And besides, you can't start a country with two people.
不行吗 那至少要几个人 No? what's the minimum?
往哪儿跑 Where you going?
哪儿也别想跑 You can't go anywhere. come on.
傻逼 什么事 What do you want, asshole?
事实上 我们需要你的帮助 Actually, we need your help.
王国争霸之岁末大战 报名处 Battle royale the final battle of the year registration
难以置信 I can't believe my eyes.
是牛头怪 A minotaur!
奥基 Augie?
你在哪儿 Where are you?
听着 听着 Hear he, hear he.
这场战斗厮杀到只剩一人为止 This is a battle to the last man standing,
胜者为王 And the victor shall rule the realm.
今次不能使用复活仙粉 There'll be no magical rejuvenation powder today.
死了就玩完 Instead, if you are killed, you are done!
好好打 祝超强国旗开得胜 Fight well, and may the best country win!
跟紧点 形影不离那种 Stay close, like cotton on a lamb.
新王国的兄弟姐妹们 Brothers and sisters of the new nation of Kiss-My-Anthia,
如今站你们面前的不是 I stand here before you not as
昔日的奥基·佛科斯 The Augie Farks you once knew.
如今站你们面前的 是一名战士 Today I stand before you a warrior!
时光永不停歇 For time eternal,
这个世界的反对者一度让我迷惘 I have let the naysayers of this world bring me down.
他们说 "你不该战斗" They used to say, "you shouldn't fight."
"你该自惭形秽" "you should be embarrassed of yourself."
"你看起来就像年轻的马文·汉姆利胥" "you look like a young Marvin Hamlisch. "
知道我怎么告诉他们的吗 Well, you know what I say to those naysayers?
我说不 我要战斗 I say nay! I will fight!
我自惭形秽才怪 I will not be embarrassed!
谁是他妈的马文·汉姆利胥 Who the fuck is Marvin Hamlisch?
他为《骗中骗》作曲 He wrote the music to The Sting.
那电影不错 That's a good movie.
我不在乎 But I don't care,
因为此时此刻 'Cause in this moment,
做喜欢的事 我就是赢家 Doing what I love, I know I have already won.
一位受法庭指派 令人敬佩的朋友曾对我说 An honorable, albeit court-appointed, friend once said to me,
"做能使自己开心的事" "Do what makes you happy. "
和你们这些勇士并肩作战 And nothing would make me happier
是最最开心的 Than to fight alongside you brave men.
当老者说起这一天 When the elders speak of this day,
他们会说起我们的勇敢无畏 They will speak of the courage of Kiss-My-Anthia.
说起太空人 Of the spaceman.
魔鬼 The demon.
星之子 The starchild.
还有我 猫人 And me, the cat!
让我们高举胜利之剑 So let us raise our swords in victory,
大干一票 Crank this shit up to 11,
为王国开辟新的天地 And let's rip this realm a new asshole!
好诶 Yeah!
好诶 我们他妈地在说些什么 Yeah! what the fuck are we talking about?
赞西亚和安西亚歃血为盟吧 May Xanthia and Kiss-My-Anthia be allies.
让狗屁国王见鬼去吧 我们一起并肩作战 King Argotron be damned. we fight with you.
谢谢 我的朋友 我感到万分荣幸 Thank you, friends. your honor is great.
来吧 以剑示意 团结奋战 Come. let us gingerly touch our tips.
游戏正式开始 Game on!
好诶 Yeah!
一旦开始 就没有退路了 Once we pass this point, there's no turning back.
不是他们死 就是我们亡 It's a fight to the death!
更待何时 大干一场吧 About time! let's rip this shit up!
-冲啊 -冲啊 - Yeah! - Yeah!
哦 混蛋 不 Yeah. oh, snap! no!
你们想干吗 不 Come on. no!
奥基 搞什么鬼 你的人把我杀了 Augie, what the hell? your boys just killed me!
撤 快闪 速度 速度 Retreat! go! like the leopard! like the leopard!
哦 圣人威尼斯 Oh, Saint Venise!
你们 你们两个叛徒 Et tu, you two?
妈的 这到底怎么回事 What the hell's going on?
他们已经把你杀了 They killed you,
你得光荣有尊严地死去 So you have to die an honorable and noble death.
好吧 我猜我能办到 Okay. I think I can do that.
挺好 Not bad.
-布佛干 -库则克 - Blufgan. - Kuzzik.
完成你的使命 布佛干 Fulfill your destiny, Blufgan.
是的 杀了国王 Yes. kill the king.
-我会的 -杀了国王 - I will. - Kill the king.
我会的 库则克 I will, Kuzzik!
走吧 走吧 走吧 Go. go. go
吃我一剑 胆小鬼 Take that, you lily-livered coward!
-喂 -喂 你们死哪去了 - Hey. - Hey. where the hell are you guys?
我拖不了了 I cannot stall any longer.
我在杰斐逊公园 现在没空和你说话 I'm at Jefferson Park. look. I can't talk right now.
和卡塞多尼亚正打得火热 I'm in the middle of battling a Cacedonian.
贝丝 我得帮奥基 我得挂电话了 Beth, I gotta help Augie. I gotta go.
去他妈的卡塞多尼亚 Fucking Cacedonian ass.
什么 喂 什么玩意儿 What? hello. what?
婊子 Bitch!
撤回城堡 Retreat to the castle!
赞西亚万岁 Long live Xanthia!
你一条胳膊没了 宝贝 You lost an arm, honey!
好剑法 哥们 Nice one, dude.
-嘿 艾斯莱 -谢谢你 - Hey, Esplen. - Thanks.
-好了 再见 -再见 - Okay. see you. - See you.
死吧 胆小鬼 Die, coward!
永远是卡塞多尼亚的天下 Cacedonia is to rule forever!
瞧这场面 What a scene.
好吧 虽然痛失一人 我们仍能办到 Okay. we lost a man, but we can still do this.
三人一心 齐力断筋 It's not the manpower. it's the power of the man.
靠 这孩子真振奋人心啊 Shit, this kid really jacks you up.
你们往左拐 穿过这些树 I want you to go left through these trees.
他的手下都很强 His lackeys are pretty strong,
但你们要对付的是大块头达维斯 But Davith of glencracken is the one you want.
他像铜墙铁壁一样坚不可摧 He's the one built like a brick shithouse.
我们来搞定他 奥基 Leave it to us, Augie.
好运 我的朋友 Good luck, mi amigos!
-谢谢帮忙 -我为孩子 不是为你 - Thanks for doing this. - I'm doing it for the kids, not for you.
来吧 Come on.
吃我一锤 Feel the steel of my hammer!
嘿 好啦 我已经死翘翘了 Hey, hey! okay! okay! I'm dead! I'm dead!
-抱歉 抱歉 -很有意思吧 - Sorry. sorry. sorry. - It's fun though, right?
-太刺激了 -这游戏会火的 我就知道 - It's a blast. - It's contagious. I know.
-完全正确 -明年再来 - Totally. - Come back next year.
-会的 谢谢 好的 -我们需要人 - I will. thanks. okay. - We need people.
把邮箱地址给我 Give me your e-mail.
兄弟 你救了我一命 Dude, you saved my life.
凡是好兄弟 都会这么做的 I did what any good coworker would do.
老实讲 我不确定会不会为你这么做 I honestly can't say I would do the same for you.
你会的丹尼 因为你是我朋友 You would, Danny, because you're my friend.
我想听你亲口说 I want to hear you say it.
-需要这样吗 -快说 - Come on. - Say it.
我是你的朋友 I'm your friend.
-抱着我好吗 -不要 - Will you hold me? - No.
-亲下我的脸 -不要 - Kiss on the cheek? - No.
-拥抱一下 -这些我都不会做的 - Hug me. - I don't want to do any of that.
哦不 哦不 Oh, no. oh, no.
你还没死啊 Aren't you dead yet?
快了 星之子 Very close, starchild.
弥留之际 The end is near.
安息吧 我的朋友 Sleep, friend.
他们再也伤不了你了 They can't hurt you now.
正中我的蛋蛋 操 Right in the ball sack. fuck.
好了 我喝酒去 All right. I'm gonna get a beer.
坚守阵地 Hold your ground!
-围攻 刺死他们 -遵命 - Enclose, stab. - As you command.
是的 陛下 北边 Yes, my lord. north.
-达维斯死了 -干得漂亮 - Davith is gone. - Nice work.
太空人在哪儿 Where's spaceman?
敌兵已所剩无几了 I don't think there's many warriors left, you know.
如果能和他单挑的话 If I could just get him one-on-one,
我发誓能拿下他 我能干掉他 I swear I could take him. I could take him down.
等会儿 哥们 我有个主意 Hold up, dude. methinks I have a plan.
嘿 陛下 陛下 Hey, king! king!
是敌方那个死畜 It's that guy from the burger hole.
-瞧他那样 -看来他已经受伤了 - Oh... - He seems to be wounded.
要我把他拿下吗 陛下 Shall I take him out, sire?
不 他是我的 Nay. this one is mine.
瞧你那衰样 Well! well, well.
雕虫小技就能骗得你团团转 Looks like thou art fell for the oldest trick in the scroll.
现在你臣服了吧 Now you will kneel before the king.
呸 我真想要你的小尖帽 Oh, drag. I really wanted to win that pointy little hat.
这是皇冠 It's a crown!
卡塞多尼亚万岁 Cacedonia!
是你 You!
妈的 Shit.
阿根特拉 有胆就过来啊 Argotron. face me, if ye be brave enough.
还没吸取上次的教训吗 Didn't I teach you a lesson the last time?
你是怕我又把你杀了吧 I think you're afraid I'm gonna kill you again.
搞定他 儿子 Go get him, Augie!
-闭嘴 婊子 -我妈不是 - You shut up, whore! - My mom is not a whore!
她就是个婊子 Yes, she is!
-其实他能赢的 -当然 这是大众游戏 - He could actually win. - Oh, it's anyone's game.
上啊 布佛干 Go, Blufgan!
奥基 干死他 Yo, Augie! fuck his shit up, man!
去你妈的 Screw it!
错误的决定 Bad decision.
不 正确的决定 No, it's a good decision.
我操 Oh, shit!
没事 我不需要它 It's okay. I don't need it.
求求你 别杀我 Please. no.
太棒了 太棒了 Yeah! yeah!
就是这样子 That's what I'm talking about!
太棒了 Yes!
真出人意料 The gods have played a coup.
布佛干笑到了最后 Blufgan is the last man standing of them all!
布佛干陛下万岁 All hail king Blufgan!
万岁 布佛干 Hail, Blufgan!
太棒了 太棒了 Yeah! yeah!
怎么回事 艾斯莱还活着 What? Esplen is still alive?
艾斯莱 Esplen!
我一直躲在树丛中 I was hiding in the bushes the whole time.
真是聪明绝顶的战略 That's a pretty smart strategy.
谢谢夸奖 很抱歉 我把你杀了 Thanks. sorry I killed you.
没关系 It's okay.
艾斯莱女王陛下万岁 All hail queen Esplen of navalore!
万岁 艾斯莱 Hail, Esplen!
游戏到此结束 Game end!
一剑刺向他的胸部 One slice to the king's chest
国王便应身倒下 And down like a sack of elderberries!
干得不错 奥基 You did good, Augie.
我是说 虽然你被那女孩杀了 I mean, a girl did beat you,
我对你是同志的看法彻底改观了 But it's definitely not as gay as I thought it would be.
你太棒了 拿了第二名 You were incredible. second place!
相当于一枚银牌了 That's like a silver medal.
对金牌虎视眈眈了吧 Kind of makes you hungry for the gold, huh?
不过说真的 我们真替你感到骄傲 No, but we... serious, we are very, very proud of you.
妈妈 吉姆 谢谢你们试着了解 Thanks for trying to be nice, mom. Jim.
万岁 艾斯莱 Hail, Esplen!
恭喜恭喜 Congratulations.
真难以置信 我赢了 I can't believe I won.
把你杀掉时 我还在想"这怎么可能" When I killed you, I was, like, "no way. "
皇冠看起来很配你 很雍容华贵 Yeah, well, the crown looks very good on you, very regal.
谢谢 我喜欢你的胡须 Thanks. I liked your whiskers.
-谢谢 -那是眼线膏吗 - Thanks. - Was that eyeliner?
是的 我用它画上去的 Yeah, I just drew them on.
看起来很不错 It looked good.
-谢谢 -我养了2只猫咪 所以... - Thanks. - I have two cats, so...
哦 是吗 酷 Oh. okay. cool.
那个啥 奥基 So, Augie,
既然我是皇后了 我在想 Now that I'm queen, I was wondering if maybe
是否你愿意当我的国王 You'd wanna be my king?
那太好了 Yeah. I'd love that.
我现在能吻你吗 Should... should I kiss you now?
操 太爽了 Fuck, yeah.
知道基斯乐队的那首《贝丝》吗 Do you know the song Beth? by Kiss?
今晚你表现得不错 惠勒 You did a really good thing tonight, Wheeler.
他们可能会让我们刑期加倍 Yeah. they'll probably double our sentence
因为今天下午没去听证会 For not showing up to the hearing this afternoon.
听着 我和法官交情不错 Well, listen. I got a long-standing relationship with this judge,
我不想太直白 And I don't want to get too graphic,
可我曾为吸毒而给他吹箫 But I used to suck his dick for drugs.
-酱紫啊 -我给他吹箫 他给我毒品 - Oh. - He got me my junk.
总之你们不用蹲监狱了 Long story short, you guys are not going to jail.
你在耍我吗 因为你是耍人高手 Are you bsing me? 'cause I know you're the best bser.
不 我和你说真的 No, I'm being straight with you, man.
妈的 谢谢了 Shit. thank you.
哇哦 好啦 Whoa! okay.
-太感谢了 -别客气 - Thank you so much. - All right.
这儿咋这么热闹呢 Hey, what's going on here?
无论你们刚才在谈什么 So speaking of whatever you guys were just talking about,
我偶然在曼哈顿海滩看到 I happen to know a really nice...
一间不错的意大利餐厅 ... Italian restaurant in Manhattan Beach,
如果你感兴趣 我就带你去 And I would love to take you if you're interested.
好啊 马丁 Sure, Martin.
希望我们谈的仅是意大利面 不是那个 I just hope we're talking pasta and not pussy.
我是说 两个大人吃吃意大利面 Well, I was talking about two adults having some pasta,
是的 还有就是希望... And, yes, I was kinda hoping that...
之后做做那个 ... it would lead to some pussy.
我是说 咱们一起去吧 I mean, let's just call it out there.
-我是说 我们待这干吗 -好 走吧 - I mean, what are we after here? - Okay.
安静 安静 大家聚过来 Quiet down! quiet down! gather round, ye nobles!
贝丝 我听见你的呼唤 Beth, I hear you calling
可我还无法回家 But I can't come home right now
因为我和孩子们正在战斗 'Cause me and the boys are slaying
我们辨不清声音来自何方 And we just can't find the sound
下面不是歌词 None of these lyrics
无法表达我的思绪 Have anything to do with what I want to say
可是旋律依旧动听 But it's got a pretty melody
我要唱出你的名字 And I get to sing your name
听起来酷味十足 That seems pretty cool
贝丝 宝贝你真棒 Beth, you are so awesome
真的好想你 And I miss you so much
你的一颦一笑 Your beautiful smile
乐观的态度和深邃的眼睛(实指"妹妹") And your positive attitude and your whispering eye
不在乎是否与你步入婚姻殿堂 We don't have to get married
只知道我依旧深爱着你 But I'm still in love with you
只要我们能在一起 We can just be together
宛如蒂姆·罗宾斯和苏珊·莎兰登 Like Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon
著名影星 Good actors.
蒂姆和苏珊 Tim and Sue
贝丝 没有你我真的好孤单 Beth, I am so lonely without you
只愿能与你甜甜蜜蜜 And I hope we'll be all right
今夜你我和好如初 You and me should make up tonight
还有飞吻 And the kiss!
太好了 Nice.
你觉得这像什么 Hey, what does this look like to you?
嘿 你好吗 Hey. how you doing?
-真好玩 -耶 - Yes, sir. - Yeah.
往里塞 Put it back in.
-啊哦 -哦 爽 爽 - Ouch. ouch. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
使劲往里塞 There you go.