1 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:12,512 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. 2 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,025 ? ?? AND NOW THE PURPLE DUSK ? 3 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,528 ?? OF TWILIGHT TIME ?? 4 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:34,034 ?? STEALS ACROSS THE MEADOWS OF MY HEART ?? 5 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:38,038 ?? HIGH UP IN THE SKY ?? 6 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,541 ?? THE LITTLE STARS CLIMB ?? 7 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:45,045 ?? ALWAYS REMINDING ME ?? 8 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:50,050 ?? THAT WE'RE APART ?? 9 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:55,055 ?? YOU WANDER DOWN THE LANE AND FAR AWAY ?? 10 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,559 ?? LEAVING ME A SONG ?? 11 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,063 ?? THAT WILL NOT DIE ?? 12 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:09,069 ?? LOVE IS NOW THE STARDUST ?? 13 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:13,073 ?? OF YESTERDAY ?? 14 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,075 ?? THE MUSIC ?? 15 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,577 ?? OF THE YEARS ?? 16 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:22,082 ?? GONE BY ?? 17 00:01:52,829 --> 00:01:56,833 1954. YOU DON'T GET YEARS LIKE THAT ANYMORE. 18 00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,335 IT WAS MY FAVORITE YEAR. 19 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,342 LOOK. LOOK AT THAT BUICK. 20 00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:08,344 SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 21 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:10,847 IN 1954, A BUICK WAS A BUICK. 22 00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:14,350 IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A CHEVY, WHICH LOOKS LIKE A PONTIAC, 23 00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:17,353 WHICH YOU CAN'T TELL APART FROM AN OLDS, LIKE TODAY. 24 00:02:17,854 --> 00:02:20,857 THIS IS THE WAY PEOPLE DRESSED IN 1954. 25 00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:22,358 SMOOTH, HUH? 26 00:02:22,859 --> 00:02:24,861 ? ?? SOMEWHERE THERE'S MUSIC ? 27 00:02:24,861 --> 00:02:26,863 ?? HOW FAINT THE TUNE ?? 28 00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:28,364 ?? SOMEWHERE THERE'S HEAVEN ?? 29 00:02:28,364 --> 00:02:29,866 ?? HOW HIGH THE MOON ?? 30 00:02:29,866 --> 00:02:32,368 IN 1954, TELEVISION WAS LIVE, 31 00:02:32,368 --> 00:02:34,370 AND COMEDY WAS KING. 32 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:37,874 COMIC STARS LIKE MILTON BERLE, SID CAESAR, AND JACKIE GLEASON 33 00:02:37,874 --> 00:02:40,877 KEPT AMERICA IN FRONT OF THEIR TV SETS. 34 00:02:40,877 --> 00:02:43,880 I WAS THE FRESHMAN WRITER ONTHE COMEDY CAVALCADE, 35 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,383 STARRING STAN "KING" KAISER, SATURDAY NIGHTS AT 8:00. 36 00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:50,386 THERE. THERE I AM. THAT'S ME--BENJY STONE, 37 00:02:50,386 --> 00:02:52,889 THE GUY CARRYING THE GUY WITH THE SWORD. 38 00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:55,391 THE GUY WITH THE SWORD IS ALAN SWANN, 39 00:02:55,391 --> 00:02:58,394 THE GREATEST MOVIE IDOL OF ALL TIMES 40 00:02:58,394 --> 00:02:59,896 AND MY PERSONAL HERO. 41 00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:02,899 THAT WEEK, ALAN SWANN WAS THE GUEST STAR 42 00:03:02,899 --> 00:03:04,400 ONTHE COMEDY CAVALCADE. 43 00:03:05,902 --> 00:03:08,404 THIS IS WHERE WE WROTE THE SHOW. 44 00:03:08,404 --> 00:03:10,907 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA-- "30 ROCK" WE CALLED IT. 45 00:03:12,909 --> 00:03:14,410 HERE I WAS, 46 00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:16,913 TWO YEARS AFTER BEING ASKED TO LEAVE BROOKLYN COLLEGE, 47 00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:19,415 AND ALREADY I WAS EARNING MORE MONEY PER WEEK 48 00:03:19,415 --> 00:03:22,418 THAN THE ENTIRE FOURTH FLOOR OF MY MOTHER'S APARTMENT HOUSE 49 00:03:22,418 --> 00:03:23,920 ON OCEAN PARKWAY IN BROOKLYN. 50 00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:27,924 ANYWAY, 1954-- THE WEEK ALAN SWANN WAS 51 00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:30,426 THE GUEST STAR ONTHE COMEDY CAVALCADE-- 52 00:03:30,426 --> 00:03:32,428 WAS A MAJOR TURNING POINT FOR ME. 53 00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:33,429 IT CHANGED ME. 54 00:03:33,429 --> 00:03:35,431 HOLD IT! HOLD IT! 55 00:03:37,433 --> 00:03:39,435 GOOD MORNING. 56 00:03:39,435 --> 00:03:40,937 GOOD MORNING. 57 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:42,438 GOOD MORNING. 58 00:03:42,438 --> 00:03:43,940 GOOD MORNING. 59 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,942 ?? ...FRANCE ?? 60 00:03:45,942 --> 00:03:47,443 GOOD, HUH? 61 00:03:47,443 --> 00:03:48,945 YOU TALKING TO ME, SY? 62 00:03:48,945 --> 00:03:50,446 LOOK WHO I'M ASKING. 63 00:03:50,446 --> 00:03:51,948 SORRY I'M LATE, SY. 64 00:03:51,948 --> 00:03:53,950 THE FOOD--THE FOOD-- GIVE ME MY FOOD! 65 00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:55,952 THE COFFEE SHOP WAS JAMMED. 66 00:03:55,952 --> 00:03:57,954 FINE, THANK YOU, SY. AND YOU? 67 00:03:57,954 --> 00:04:00,957 OH, REALLY? NO? I DIDN'T THINK SO. 68 00:04:00,957 --> 00:04:03,459 WHAT IS THIS, TEA? I DIDN'T ORDER TEA! 69 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,962 THAT'S HERB'S. HE HAD THE TEA AND DRY TOAST. 70 00:04:05,962 --> 00:04:08,464 THIS IS YOURS, SY-- EXTRA LARGE COFFEE, 6 SUGARS, 71 00:04:08,464 --> 00:04:10,466 LIGHTLY TOASTED BAGEL, HEAVY BUTTER, 72 00:04:10,466 --> 00:04:12,468 SCHMEER OF CREAM CHEESE, GRAPE JELLY, RIGHT? 73 00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:14,470 WAIT A MINUTE! WHERE'S MY CRUMB CAKE? 74 00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:15,972 THEY WERE OUT. 75 00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:18,975 SIDNEY PUT IN A BEAR CLAW. 76 00:04:21,978 --> 00:04:23,479 ALICE, WHAT ARE WE SEEING? 77 00:04:23,479 --> 00:04:25,481 CLIPS FROM SWANN'S MOVIES. 78 00:04:25,481 --> 00:04:28,484 CLIPS FROM HIS CRAP. ROLL 'EM, HERB! 79 00:04:38,494 --> 00:04:40,496 THIS ISCAPTAIN FROM TORTUGA. 80 00:04:40,496 --> 00:04:41,998 CAPTAIN FROM CRAP. 81 00:04:46,502 --> 00:04:49,005 THIS IS FROMRAPTURE. 82 00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:51,007 YOU CALL WHAT SWANN DOES ACTING? 83 00:04:51,007 --> 00:04:52,508 THAT'S NOT ACTING. 84 00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:55,511 THAT'S KISSING AND JUMPING AND DRINKING AND HUMPING. 85 00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:59,515 I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE WASTING OUR EYESIGHT ON THIS CRAP. 86 00:04:59,515 --> 00:05:01,517 SWANN'S NEVER GOING TO SHOW UP ANYHOW. 87 00:05:01,517 --> 00:05:02,518 WE'LL FIND HIM, SY. 88 00:05:02,518 --> 00:05:04,020 WHAT HAPPENED? 89 00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:06,522 HE LANDED FINE LAST NIGHT. THAT MUCH WE KNOW. 90 00:05:06,522 --> 00:05:08,024 SO WHERE IS HE? 91 00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,526 WHERE ELSE? DRINKING AND HUMPING. 92 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:46,062 HELLO. 93 00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,064 HI. 94 00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:59,575 AAAAAAAAOOOOOOO... 95 00:05:59,575 --> 00:06:01,077 [COUGHS] 96 00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:04,580 Sy: CRAP! THIS IS CRAP! 97 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,082 THAT WAS THE BEST PART. 98 00:06:06,082 --> 00:06:07,583 THERE IS NO BEST PART! 99 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,585 SWANN NEVER MADE A DECENT MOVIE IN HIS LIFE. 100 00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:11,087 SY, THAT ONE-- DEFENDER OF THE CROWN-- 101 00:06:11,087 --> 00:06:12,088 IS A CLASSIC. 102 00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:13,589 CRAP. 103 00:06:13,589 --> 00:06:15,091 AND SO ISCAPTAIN FROM TORTUGA. 104 00:06:15,091 --> 00:06:16,092 CRAP. 105 00:06:16,092 --> 00:06:17,593 AND WHAT ABOUT SWORDS OF GLORY? 106 00:06:17,593 --> 00:06:18,594 CRAP. AMARILLO. 107 00:06:18,594 --> 00:06:20,096 SANDS OF THE SUDAN. 108 00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,098 CRAP. BENJY, YOU WANT TO SEE MOVIES, 109 00:06:22,098 --> 00:06:24,100 GET A JOB AS AN USHER. THE REST OF US ARE HERE 110 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,602 TO WRITE PROFESSIONAL SHOW-BUSINESS COMEDY! 111 00:06:26,602 --> 00:06:29,105 IN YOUR CASE, SEMI-PROFESSIONAL. 112 00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:32,108 WHAT'S THE MATTER, HERB? YOU CAN'T TALK TO A PERSON 113 00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:34,610 LIKE A REGULAR NORMAL HUMAN BEING? 114 00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:37,613 NO. 115 00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:40,116 COME ON! KING WANTS US TO SEE 116 00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:43,119 A RUN-THROUGH OF THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH. 117 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,288 HEY, JANINE, WHEN ARE YOU 118 00:06:45,788 --> 00:06:48,791 GOING TO LET ME GET INTO YOUR BOX? 119 00:06:50,793 --> 00:06:53,796 HEY, KID, READ YOUR BULLFIGHTER SKETCH LAST NIGHT. 120 00:06:53,796 --> 00:06:55,298 YOU LIKED IT? 121 00:06:55,298 --> 00:06:56,799 DOZED OFF HALFWAY THROUGH IT. 122 00:06:56,799 --> 00:06:59,302 HEY, COME ON. DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA, KID. 123 00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:00,803 IT'S NOT THAT IT WASN'T FUNNY. 124 00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:02,305 IT'S JUST THAT IT WASN'T FUNNY. 125 00:07:02,305 --> 00:07:04,807 SY, I READ THAT SKETCH. I THOUGHT IT WAS TERRIFIC. 126 00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:07,310 THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE HEAD WRITER, ALICE. 127 00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:09,312 I COULDN'T TAKE THE CHANCE. 128 00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:11,314 WHAT CHANCE? 129 00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:13,816 THAT I'D BECOME LIKE YOU. 130 00:07:13,816 --> 00:07:15,818 HOLD IT! 131 00:07:16,819 --> 00:07:19,322 OHH! 132 00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:23,826 WHOA-HO! 133 00:07:23,826 --> 00:07:26,329 OH, UH, K.C.! 134 00:07:45,848 --> 00:07:46,849 LIL, MR. SILVER WANTS TO SEE 135 00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:49,352 HELEN'S COSTUME FOR THE 3 MUSKETEERS SKETCH. 136 00:07:49,352 --> 00:07:53,356 NOW HE WANTS IT WHEN I'M UP TO MY ASS HERE IN THREADS? 137 00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:54,857 [DOOR OPENS] 138 00:07:54,857 --> 00:07:56,359 SO... 139 00:07:56,859 --> 00:07:58,861 LET'S JUST HAVE A QUIET DINNER TONIGHT... 140 00:07:58,861 --> 00:08:00,363 DANNY'S HIDEAWAY. 141 00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:01,864 LIL! 142 00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:04,367 WE'LL SPLIT A CHATEAUBRIAND... MEDIUM RARE. 143 00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:05,868 I GOT IT. 144 00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:07,370 CAREFUL WITH THE TIARA, KID. 145 00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:10,873 YOU BREAK IT, YOU BOUGHT IT. 146 00:08:10,873 --> 00:08:13,376 THEN A HANSOM CAB RIDE THROUGH CENTRAL PARK. 147 00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:14,877 FROM THERE, WE HOP OVER 148 00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:16,879 TO THE ALGONQUIN FOR A CORDIAL, 149 00:08:16,879 --> 00:08:18,881 AND WE END THE NIGHT AT YOUR PLACE. 150 00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,383 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 151 00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:23,386 BENJAMIN, WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU? 152 00:08:23,386 --> 00:08:26,389 EVERY TIME YOU COME NEAR ME, YOU EMBARRASS OR HUMILIATE ME. 153 00:08:26,389 --> 00:08:29,392 I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 154 00:08:30,893 --> 00:08:32,395 SEX. 155 00:08:33,396 --> 00:08:35,398 WHAT IS THE TIME? 156 00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:38,401 I DON'T KNOW. DON'T YOU HAVE A WATCH? 157 00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:39,902 NO. I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR A WATCH. 158 00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:41,404 WHY NOT? 159 00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:43,406 I DON'T TRUST THEM. 160 00:08:43,406 --> 00:08:44,407 WHY? 161 00:08:44,407 --> 00:08:47,910 ONE HAND IS SHORTER THAN THE OTHER. 162 00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:49,912 [CLANKING] 163 00:08:49,912 --> 00:08:50,913 HI. 164 00:08:50,913 --> 00:08:52,415 DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? 165 00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:54,417 IT'S 9:25. 166 00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:58,421 ARE YOU LATE FOR SOMETHING? 167 00:08:58,421 --> 00:08:59,922 ALWAYS. 168 00:09:02,425 --> 00:09:05,428 I'M NEVER QUITE SURE FOR WHAT. 169 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,931 PEOPLE! PEOPLE! 170 00:09:08,931 --> 00:09:11,934 I HATE TO BREAK UP THE LAST SUPPER, 171 00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:15,438 BUT I WOULDN'T MIND SEEING A RUN-THROUGH. 172 00:09:15,438 --> 00:09:16,939 SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS, 173 00:09:16,939 --> 00:09:18,941 BUT KING THREW OUT THE MONOLOGUE. 174 00:09:18,941 --> 00:09:20,943 LEO, THAT MONOLOGUE WAS GOOD. 175 00:09:20,943 --> 00:09:22,445 CHECK THAT! PERFECT! 176 00:09:22,445 --> 00:09:23,946 I WROTE IT! 177 00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:26,449 HERE'S WHERE SY BENSON DRAWS THE LINE. 178 00:09:26,449 --> 00:09:27,950 SY, DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY. 179 00:09:27,950 --> 00:09:29,952 KING'S GOT TO BE TAUGHT. 180 00:09:29,952 --> 00:09:32,955 FIRST COMES THE WORD, AND THE WORD WAS FUNNY! 181 00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:34,957 THE MONOLOGUE STAYS, OR I GO! 182 00:09:34,957 --> 00:09:36,959 SY, MAYBE WE CAN COMPROMISE. 183 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:38,461 NO COMPROMISE! 184 00:09:38,461 --> 00:09:40,463 SY BENSON HAS HIS INTEGRITY, HIS PRIDE! 185 00:09:40,463 --> 00:09:42,965 KING DOES THAT MONOLOGUE WORD FOR WORD, 186 00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:43,966 OR I WALK! I WALK! 187 00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:45,968 MONOLOGUE'S IN. 188 00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:48,471 MORNING, KING. 189 00:09:48,471 --> 00:09:49,972 HELLO, STAN. 190 00:09:49,972 --> 00:09:51,474 HEY, GOOD MORNING. 191 00:09:51,974 --> 00:09:52,975 KING! ABOUT THE MONOLOGUE-- 192 00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:55,978 WAIT A MINUTE. SY, DO YOU SMELL SOMETHING? 193 00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:57,980 IT'S COMING FROM THE SCRIPT! 194 00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,484 OH, IT'S YOUR MONOLOGUE! 195 00:10:01,484 --> 00:10:02,985 OH, WHAT A STINKBURGER! 196 00:10:02,985 --> 00:10:04,487 K.C. 197 00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:05,988 PULL. 198 00:10:05,988 --> 00:10:07,490 BOOM! 199 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,992 I HATE IT. IT'S NOT FUNNY. IT'S OUT. 200 00:10:09,992 --> 00:10:13,996 HEY, BABE, WE'RE NOT MARRIED TO IT. 201 00:10:13,996 --> 00:10:15,498 MONOLOGUE'S OUT. 202 00:10:15,498 --> 00:10:19,502 SY BENSON, A TOWER OF JELL-O. 203 00:10:22,505 --> 00:10:24,507 K.C. 204 00:10:28,511 --> 00:10:32,515 I THINK I WENT A LITTLE TOO FAR WITH SY JUST NOW. 205 00:10:32,515 --> 00:10:34,517 I REALLY HURT HIS FEELINGS. 206 00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:37,520 I'VE GOT TO GET HIM SOMETHING. 207 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,523 HERE'S 100 BUCKS. GET HIM SOMETHING. 208 00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:42,024 TIRES ARE NICE. 209 00:10:42,525 --> 00:10:43,526 GET HIM A SET OF TIRES. 210 00:10:43,526 --> 00:10:45,027 CALL MY BROTHER IN THE BRONX. 211 00:10:45,027 --> 00:10:46,028 HE'LL TELL YOU WHERE. 212 00:10:46,529 --> 00:10:48,030 Man: BOSS HIJACK SKETCH. FROM THE TOP. 213 00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:49,031 K.C. 214 00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:51,534 Man: ELECTRICS AND CAMERAS. PLEASE. 215 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,536 WHITEWALLS. 216 00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:55,037 WHITEWALLS? 217 00:10:56,539 --> 00:10:58,040 Man: HERE WE GO! 218 00:11:03,045 --> 00:11:07,049 4, 3, 2, AND... 219 00:11:07,049 --> 00:11:08,551 COME IN. 220 00:11:09,552 --> 00:11:12,054 WHO OWNS THE GRAY '51 DeSOTO? 221 00:11:12,054 --> 00:11:13,556 THE NEW GUY HARRIS. 222 00:11:13,556 --> 00:11:15,057 YOU'RE PARKED IN BOSS HIJACK'S SPOT. 223 00:11:15,057 --> 00:11:16,559 YOU BETTER MOVE. 224 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:18,561 THE BOSS HAS GOT SOME TEMPER ON HIM. 225 00:11:18,561 --> 00:11:19,562 HOW BAD CAN IT BE? 226 00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:21,063 [TIRES SCREECHING] 227 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,069 WE'RE LUCKY WE'RE ON THE SECOND FLOOR HERE. 228 00:11:27,069 --> 00:11:28,571 IT SLOWED HIM DOWN. 229 00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:44,086 SOMEBODY PARKED IN MY SPOT. 230 00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:51,594 MOVE YOUR CAR. 231 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,967 THAT BLACKOUT HAS GOT TO COME A BEAT SOONER. 232 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,468 SCREAMS--I GUARANTEE YOU SCREAMS. 233 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,971 WELL, NOW ALL WE NEED IS ANOTHER 47 MINUTES, 234 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,473 AND WE'VE GOT A SHOW THIS WEEK. 235 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,975 King: COMING IN, SY! 236 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,977 HERB! 237 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,982 SWANN HERE YET? 238 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,483 HE'S ON HIS WAY. 239 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:15,985 ALFIE WENT TO PICK HIM UP, AND THEN HE'S-- 240 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,988 NOT HERE YET, RIGHT? GREAT. 241 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,494 YOU LOOK REAL NICE TODAY, ALICE. 242 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,997 YOU LIKE THE SHOES I SENT YOU? 243 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:29,498 OH, YEAH. 244 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,500 THEN WHY DID YOU SEND THEM BACK? 245 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,003 THEY WERE THE WRONG SIZE, 246 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,504 AND THEY WERE USED. 247 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,508 COME ON, COME ON, ROLL THIS THING. 248 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,010 BENJY, LIGHTS! 249 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,517 THIS GUY GOING TO BE FUNNY? 250 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:52,021 HE JUMPS AROUND NICE, BUT IS HE GOING TO BE FUNNY? 251 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,533 GOOD GOD, IT'S RENFIELD. 252 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,036 I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. 253 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,537 OH. 254 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,539 SO HE IS. 255 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,042 VERY GOOD WITH A SWORD, THOUGH.IN QUARTATA! 256 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,544 COUP A LA MOUCHE! 257 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,546 GOOD MORROW TO YOU, 258 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,548 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 259 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,550 HE'S PLASTERED! 260 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:25,054 SO ARE SOME OF THE FINEST ERECTIONS IN EUROPE. 261 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,556 IF I WERE TRULY PLASTERED, 262 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,557 COULD I DO THIS? 263 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,560 SIGNOR BUMBACELLI, WOULD YOU HOLD MY SWORD? 264 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,562 HA! 265 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,070 WELL, WE KNOW HE CAN DOTHAT. 266 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:44,573 IT'S STILL TICKING. 267 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,075 ALFIE! ALFIE! 268 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:47,576 WHAT HAPPENED? 269 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,078 TO BEGIN WITH, 270 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,579 THERE WAS SOME DIFFICULTY 271 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,580 AT THE AIRPORT. 272 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,582 MR. SWANN HERE HAS BEEN RECLASSIFIED. 273 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,084 RECLASSIFIED? 274 00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:57,586 YEAH, AS FREIGHT. 275 00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,088 OH, BOY. 276 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,590 THEN MR. SWANN WANTED TO MAKE A COUPLE OF STOPS. 277 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,093 ALFIE, I TOLD YOU TO TAKE HIM RIGHT TO THE WALDORF! 278 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,595 NOW I GOT TO SLAM YOUR BRAKES ON, MR. SILVER. 279 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,097 WHEN I'M DRIVING MR. SWANN, 280 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,598 HE'S CHIEF OF THE CAR, 281 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,600 AND WHEN THE CHIEF SAYS HE WANTS TO MAKE SOME STOPS, 282 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,602 ALFIE BUMBACELLI MAKES THE STOPS, 283 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,604 AND THAT'S WHAT I LIVE BY. 284 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,606 WELL, AT LEAST WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME 285 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:18,607 TO REPLACE HIM. 286 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,109 DUMP HIM! 287 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,611 LEO, ISN'T THERE SOME WAY? 288 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,113 I MEAN, THE MAN IS A LEGEND. 289 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:27,116 STAN, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 290 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,120 I DON'T KNOW. 291 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,124 HEISA LEGEND-- 292 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,626 ONE OF THE BIGGEST STARS EVER. 293 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,628 HE'S ONE OF A KIND. 294 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,630 A GUY LIKE THIS IS IRREPLACEABLE. 295 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,633 REPLACE HIM, LEO. 296 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,135 YOU CAN'T! 297 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:47,636 TOO RISKY. HE'S OUT. 298 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,138 BUT, KING! 299 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:53,642 YOU'RE RIGHT. 300 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,644 THIS IS TOO RISKY. 301 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,148 YOU CAN'T TAKE A CHANCE WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 302 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,151 LOOK, KING, YOU'RE A BIG STAR NOW, 303 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,153 AND I'M SURE YOU ALWAYS WILL BE, 304 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,155 BUT SUPPOSE, JUST SUPPOSE-- 305 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:10,159 AND I KNOW THIS IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN-- 306 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:14,663 BUT SUPPOSE SOMEDAY YOU WIND UP LIKE THIS. 307 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,167 I HOPE NOBODY DOES TO YOU 308 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,169 WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO HIM. 309 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,174 DUMP HIM! 310 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,182 WHO ARE YOU TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, 311 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,685 YOU LITTLE JIMINY CRICKET PEST BASTARD? 312 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,687 ALL RIGHT, HE GETS ONE MORE CHANCE. 313 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:39,688 NO! 314 00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:40,689 YES! 315 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,690 YES! 316 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,192 OK, BUT NOW YOU-- 317 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,694 YOU'RE GOING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM. 318 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,197 SWANN BETTER BE AT EVERY REHEARSAL SOBER, 319 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,199 OR IT'S YOUR ASS, YOU UNDERSTAND? 320 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,700 NOW, SEE, SY? 321 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,703 THIS KID'S GOT BALLS. 322 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,708 A WEEK'S SALARY SWANN TAKES A DIVE. 323 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,210 HEY! SWANN DIVE! BA-DUMP BUMP! 324 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,711 YOU'RE ON. 325 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:13,722 DOUBLE THE LAD'S BET FOR ME, YOU TOAD. 326 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:21,196 OK, NOW, PICK A CARD. GO AHEAD--ANY CARD. 327 00:16:21,196 --> 00:16:22,698 PRISCILLA, COME HERE. 328 00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:25,701 NOW, PUT IT BACK IN THE DECK ANYWHERE. 329 00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,203 HOW LONG YOU WORKING HERE? 330 00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:29,705 ABOUT A YEAR. 331 00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:32,207 YOU LOOK REAL NICE TODAY. 332 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:33,208 THANK YOU. 333 00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:34,710 HERE. WRITE YOUR ADDRESS ON HERE. 334 00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:36,211 PUT IT ON MY DESK. 335 00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:37,713 I'M GOING TO SEND YOU SOME STEAKS. 336 00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:39,214 WAS THAT YOUR CARD? 337 00:16:39,214 --> 00:16:40,716 YEAH, THAT'S MY CARD! 338 00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:43,218 MR. SILVER, BOSS ROJECK AND HIS LAWYER 339 00:16:43,218 --> 00:16:44,219 ARE IN YOUR OFFICE. 340 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,722 IT'S ABOUT THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH. 341 00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:52,227 HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 342 00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:53,729 WITH YOU. 343 00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:54,730 WHAT FOR? 344 00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:55,731 TO MEET BOSS ROJECK. 345 00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:58,734 STAN, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 346 00:16:58,734 --> 00:16:59,735 YOU THINK HE'S HERE 347 00:16:59,735 --> 00:17:01,236 BECAUSE HELIKES THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH? 348 00:17:01,236 --> 00:17:04,740 YOU THINK HE LIKES BEING MADE A FOOL OUT OF BY YOU 349 00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:07,242 IN FRONT OF 20 MILLION PEOPLE EVERY WEEK? 350 00:17:07,242 --> 00:17:08,744 I DON'T KNOW. 351 00:17:09,244 --> 00:17:11,246 STAN, HE'S HERE BECAUSE HE WANTS US 352 00:17:11,246 --> 00:17:13,749 TO DROP THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH! 353 00:17:13,749 --> 00:17:16,251 THINK SO? LET'S GO FIND OUT. 354 00:17:16,251 --> 00:17:17,753 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 355 00:17:17,753 --> 00:17:19,254 MAYBE YOU BETTER CHANGE FIRST. 356 00:17:19,254 --> 00:17:20,255 WHY? 357 00:17:20,255 --> 00:17:22,758 WELL, THAT OUTFIT MIGHT SET HIM OFF. 358 00:17:32,768 --> 00:17:35,270 MR. ROJECK, SIR, I THINK YOU MADE 359 00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,272 A WISE DECISION TO COME HERE. 360 00:17:37,272 --> 00:17:38,774 I THINK THIS GENTLEMAN WILL BE ABLE TO TALK 361 00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:41,276 TO US ABOUT OUR PROBLEM IN A MATURE WAY. 362 00:17:41,276 --> 00:17:43,278 I'M SURE THEY'LL SEE REASON, SIR, 363 00:17:43,278 --> 00:17:47,282 AND THERE SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER. 364 00:17:47,282 --> 00:17:48,784 MYRON FEIN. 365 00:17:48,784 --> 00:17:50,285 I'M LEO SILVER. 366 00:17:50,285 --> 00:17:51,787 THIS IS KING KAISER. 367 00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:53,288 WHAT DO YOU SAY, MYRON? 368 00:17:53,288 --> 00:17:55,290 MY CLIENT, KARL ROJECK. 369 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,292 KARL? 370 00:17:57,292 --> 00:17:58,794 IT'S NOT BOSS? 371 00:17:58,794 --> 00:17:59,795 STAN! 372 00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:01,797 GENTLEMEN. 373 00:18:01,797 --> 00:18:05,300 WE'LL ALL BE SITTING NOW, MR. ROJECK. 374 00:18:10,305 --> 00:18:11,807 I'M SURE WE'RE ALL AWARE 375 00:18:11,807 --> 00:18:13,308 THAT MY CLIENT MR. ROJECK 376 00:18:13,308 --> 00:18:16,311 IS ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED LABOR LEADERS IN AMERICA TODAY. 377 00:18:16,311 --> 00:18:18,313 OH, THAT'S WHY THEY SUBPOENAED HIM. 378 00:18:18,313 --> 00:18:19,815 STAN! 379 00:18:19,815 --> 00:18:22,317 MR. KAISER, A SUBPOENA IS NOT AN INDICTMENT. 380 00:18:22,317 --> 00:18:24,820 NOW, IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION 381 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,321 THAT ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS-- 382 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:30,826 SEPTEMBER 4, 1954, AND SEPTEMBER 18, 1954-- 383 00:18:30,826 --> 00:18:31,827 A CHARACTER REFERRED TO AS "BOSS HIJACK" 384 00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:33,829 WAS PORTRAYED IN YOUR TELEVISION PROGRAM. 385 00:18:33,829 --> 00:18:36,832 WE FEEL THAT THIS CHARACTER TO A GREAT DEGREE 386 00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:39,334 IS BASED UPON MY CLIENT. 387 00:18:39,334 --> 00:18:40,836 THAT'S YOU, KARL. 388 00:18:40,836 --> 00:18:42,838 ACCORDING TO OUR LAWYERS, 389 00:18:42,838 --> 00:18:45,340 YOUR CLIENT IS A PUBLIC FIGURE 390 00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:47,342 AND AS SUCH HAS ALREADY FORFEITED 391 00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:48,844 CERTAIN RIGHTS OF PRIVACY. 392 00:18:48,844 --> 00:18:51,346 GRANTED. HOWEVER, EVEN THOUGH MR. ROJECK CONCEDES THAT POINT, 393 00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:54,349 HE FEELS THAT THE PORTRAYAL OF SAID CHARACTER 394 00:18:54,349 --> 00:18:57,352 IS SLANDEROUS AND DEFAMATORY AND DONE WITH MALICIOUS INTENT, 395 00:18:57,352 --> 00:18:59,855 THEREFORE ABROGATING THE PUBLIC FIGURE DEFENSE 396 00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,356 AND RENDERING IT... 397 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:05,861 TO WIT, ACTIONABLE. 398 00:19:06,361 --> 00:19:07,863 DID YOU SAY THAT, KARL? 399 00:19:07,863 --> 00:19:09,364 WHAT A GUY! 400 00:19:10,866 --> 00:19:12,868 THAT'S IT! 401 00:19:13,869 --> 00:19:15,871 I WANT TO CLEAR SOME THINGS UP HERE. 402 00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:17,372 OH? 403 00:19:17,372 --> 00:19:19,374 THIS IS A STUPID SHOW, 404 00:19:19,374 --> 00:19:22,377 AND THAT IS A STUPID, STUPID SUIT, 405 00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:24,880 AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT NO MORE. 406 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,882 HEY, LOOK, TAKE IT EASY, KARL. 407 00:19:26,882 --> 00:19:30,385 I MEAN, IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE IT NO MORE, 408 00:19:30,385 --> 00:19:31,887 THEN DON'T WATCH. 409 00:19:31,887 --> 00:19:32,888 STAN! 410 00:19:33,388 --> 00:19:35,390 LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, KARL. 411 00:19:35,891 --> 00:19:37,893 WE'RE GOING TO KEEP ON DOING THE SKETCH. 412 00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:40,896 YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY, 413 00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:43,899 AND IN MY BUSINESS, YOU NEVER CUT FUNNY. 414 00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:45,901 FUNNY, HUH? 415 00:19:46,401 --> 00:19:49,905 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BUSINESSI'MIN. 416 00:19:49,905 --> 00:19:52,407 I'M IN THE REMOVAL BUSINESS. 417 00:19:52,407 --> 00:19:56,912 NOW, IF I WERE TO FEEL THAT THIS STUPID THING 418 00:19:56,912 --> 00:19:59,915 FROM THIS STUPID SHOW WAS BOTHERING ME... 419 00:19:59,915 --> 00:20:01,416 I'D REMOVE IT. 420 00:20:03,919 --> 00:20:05,921 YOU SEE, IT'S GONE... 421 00:20:05,921 --> 00:20:07,422 [TIRES SCREECHING AND CAR HORNS HONKING] 422 00:20:07,422 --> 00:20:08,924 AND I FEEL GOOD. 423 00:20:08,924 --> 00:20:11,426 NOW, THAT'S HOW THE REMOVAL BUSINESS WORKS. 424 00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:12,928 DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? 425 00:20:12,928 --> 00:20:14,429 I THINK EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS, MR. ROJECK. 426 00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:15,430 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 427 00:20:15,430 --> 00:20:18,934 I'M NOT CLEAR ABOUT A COUPLE OF THINGS HERE. 428 00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,936 WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT IN THIS REMOVAL BUSINESS, 429 00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:24,940 IF SOMETHING BOTHERS YOU, LIKE, UH... 430 00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:28,944 LIKE SAY, THIS... 431 00:20:29,945 --> 00:20:31,446 THEN YOU REMOVE IT. 432 00:20:31,446 --> 00:20:34,449 STAN, THAT IS A CASHMERE COAT. 433 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:35,951 LIKE THAT. 434 00:20:36,451 --> 00:20:37,452 STAN! 435 00:20:37,953 --> 00:20:38,954 [CRASH] 436 00:20:38,954 --> 00:20:40,956 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOUDOFEEL BETTER. 437 00:20:41,456 --> 00:20:43,458 I LIKE THE REMOVAL BUSINESS. 438 00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:44,960 I WANT YOU. 439 00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:48,463 COME ON. COME AND GET ME! COME ON. COME ON. 440 00:21:06,982 --> 00:21:09,484 A FIGHT IS ROUNDS. 441 00:21:09,484 --> 00:21:11,987 THIS IS ROUND ONE. 442 00:21:17,492 --> 00:21:19,494 [GROWLING] 443 00:21:23,165 --> 00:21:24,666 [WHISTLE] 444 00:21:26,668 --> 00:21:29,671 SO THE FIRST TIME I DRIVE HIM IS WHAT? 445 00:21:29,671 --> 00:21:32,174 RIGHT BEFORE THE WAR--1938. 446 00:21:32,174 --> 00:21:33,675 WOW, THAT MAKES IT 16 YEARS. 447 00:21:33,675 --> 00:21:35,677 YEAH. WE GO WAY BACK. 448 00:21:35,677 --> 00:21:37,179 YOU DRIVE ANYONE ELSE? 449 00:21:37,179 --> 00:21:39,181 SURE, BUT WHEN MR. SWANN'S IN TOWN, 450 00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:40,682 I DROP EVERYONE. 451 00:21:47,189 --> 00:21:49,691 UPSTAIRS, BOYS. ALL RIGHT? 452 00:21:53,195 --> 00:21:56,698 ?? LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA, BOM PAH ?? 453 00:21:56,698 --> 00:21:59,201 ?? LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA, BOM PAH ?? 454 00:21:59,201 --> 00:22:01,203 ?? LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA, BOM PAH ?? 455 00:22:01,703 --> 00:22:03,705 ?? LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA, BOM PAH ?? 456 00:22:03,705 --> 00:22:05,207 ?? LA LA LA... ?? 457 00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:10,712 WONDERFUL TO BE ALIVE. 458 00:22:21,223 --> 00:22:24,226 MAKE SURE HE DON'T FALL. 459 00:22:28,230 --> 00:22:32,234 WHAT IS OUR ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL? 460 00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:42,244 GO AHEAD AND LASH ME, YOU SWINE! 461 00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:44,746 YOU'LL NOT LOOSEN MY TONGUE. 462 00:22:44,746 --> 00:22:48,750 WOW! THAT'S FROM CAPTAIN FROM TORTUGA. 463 00:22:50,252 --> 00:22:51,253 EXCUSE ME. 464 00:22:51,253 --> 00:22:54,256 HAD THIS MADE SPECIAL FOR WHEN HE TRAVELS. 465 00:22:54,256 --> 00:22:57,759 HE CALLS IT HIS DRUNK SUIT. 466 00:23:11,773 --> 00:23:13,275 I HAVE TO REMIND HIM 467 00:23:13,775 --> 00:23:16,278 TO WORK ON SOME TEAR-AWAY SHOES. 468 00:23:16,278 --> 00:23:18,280 GOOD IDEA. 469 00:23:19,281 --> 00:23:22,284 OH, MY GOD, I'M BLIND! 470 00:23:22,284 --> 00:23:23,785 I CANNOT SEE. 471 00:23:25,787 --> 00:23:28,790 HELP ME GET HIM INTO THE TUB. 472 00:23:28,790 --> 00:23:31,293 I GOT HIM. 473 00:23:42,304 --> 00:23:44,806 THIS IS PROBABLY MORE THAN $35 A NIGHT, HUH? 474 00:23:44,806 --> 00:23:46,308 TRY $250. 475 00:23:46,308 --> 00:23:47,809 $250 A NIGHT? 476 00:23:47,809 --> 00:23:49,311 WELL, WHAT'S THAT MEAN 477 00:23:49,311 --> 00:23:51,313 TO A GUY LIKE ALAN SWANN? 478 00:23:51,313 --> 00:23:53,315 NOTHING. WHEN YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING, 479 00:23:53,315 --> 00:23:54,316 IT DON'T MEAN NOTHING. 480 00:23:54,816 --> 00:23:55,817 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 481 00:23:55,817 --> 00:23:59,821 YOU'RE LOOKING AT TAP CITY IN THERE. 482 00:23:59,821 --> 00:24:02,324 THAT'S HIS STOCKPILE. GRAB THEM, WILL YOU? 483 00:24:04,326 --> 00:24:07,329 THESE MUST BE HIS DRINKING SOCKS. 484 00:24:09,331 --> 00:24:10,832 WHO'S THIS? 485 00:24:10,832 --> 00:24:12,834 THAT'S TESS, HIS DAUGHTER. 486 00:24:12,834 --> 00:24:15,337 DAUGHTER? I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD A DAUGHTER. 487 00:24:15,337 --> 00:24:16,838 WHERE IS SHE? 488 00:24:16,838 --> 00:24:18,340 SHE'S IN CONNECTICUT. 489 00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:20,842 HE ALWAYS HAS ONE SECRET BOTTLE 490 00:24:20,842 --> 00:24:23,345 HIDDEN SOMEWHERE FOR EMERGENCIES. 491 00:24:29,351 --> 00:24:30,852 GOT THEM ALL NOW. 492 00:24:39,027 --> 00:24:41,029 NO. THAT GUY NEVER ACTUALLY SHOT HIM. 493 00:24:41,029 --> 00:24:43,532 YOU SEE, THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THIS DUEL, AND-- 494 00:24:44,032 --> 00:24:46,034 I THINK IT WAS OVER THAT PERON DAME. 495 00:24:46,034 --> 00:24:48,036 ANYHOW, THEY BOTH SHOWED UP DRUNK, 496 00:24:48,036 --> 00:24:51,039 AND SWANN SORT OF SHOT HIMSELF. 497 00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:53,041 ?? BA BA, BOM BOM BOM ?? 498 00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:55,043 ?? BA BA BA BA, BA BA BOM, BOM BOM ?? 499 00:24:55,043 --> 00:24:57,546 ?? BA BA BA BA, BA BA BOM, BOM BOM ?? 500 00:25:02,050 --> 00:25:03,051 ALFREDO, MY DEAR OLD CHUM. 501 00:25:03,552 --> 00:25:05,053 TELL ME. HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD 502 00:25:05,554 --> 00:25:07,055 DID I GET HERE? BEGIN AT THE AIRPORT. 503 00:25:07,556 --> 00:25:08,557 THIS IS BENJY STONE, 504 00:25:08,557 --> 00:25:11,059 ONE OF THE WRITERS FROM THE COMEDY CAVALCADE. 505 00:25:11,059 --> 00:25:12,060 HOW DO YOU DO? 506 00:25:12,561 --> 00:25:14,062 ALFREDO, WE SHOULD POP IN AND SEE THESE PEOPLE. 507 00:25:14,062 --> 00:25:15,564 PLENTY OF TIME TOMORROW, MR. SWANN, 508 00:25:15,564 --> 00:25:18,567 AND SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME WORKING IN TELEVISION, 509 00:25:18,567 --> 00:25:20,569 THEY'VE ASKED ME TO STAY WITH YOU 510 00:25:21,069 --> 00:25:23,071 AND HELP YOU OVER SOME OF THE ROUGH SPOTS. 511 00:25:23,572 --> 00:25:24,573 LIKE SHOWING UP? 512 00:25:25,073 --> 00:25:26,074 THAT'S ONE. 513 00:25:26,575 --> 00:25:28,577 ANOTHER IS NOT PASSING OUT. 514 00:25:30,078 --> 00:25:31,580 AN HONEST ONE. 515 00:25:31,580 --> 00:25:33,582 SIGNOR BUMBACELLI, WE'LL BE TWO FOR DINNER. 516 00:25:34,082 --> 00:25:35,083 TELEPHONE THE STORK CLUB. 517 00:25:35,584 --> 00:25:37,586 YOU SURE YOU MEAN THE STORK CLUB, MR. SWANN? 518 00:25:37,586 --> 00:25:39,588 CERTAINLY. IT'S BEEN 1 1/2 YEARS. 519 00:25:39,588 --> 00:25:41,089 SURELY THEY'VE REPAIRED 520 00:25:41,089 --> 00:25:43,091 THE WALL AND THE BANDSTAND BY NOW. 521 00:25:43,091 --> 00:25:45,594 WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE SKETCH BEFORE YOU LEAVE? 522 00:25:45,594 --> 00:25:48,096 ON AN EMPTY STOMACH? NO. WE'LL TALK OVER DINNER. 523 00:25:49,598 --> 00:25:52,601 UH, ME? YOU? THE STORK CLUB? 524 00:25:52,601 --> 00:25:54,102 WELL, AFTER THAT RATHER ELOQUENT SPEECH 525 00:25:54,102 --> 00:25:55,103 YOU MADE EARLIER THIS MORNING, 526 00:25:55,604 --> 00:25:58,106 I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D MIND HAVING DINNER WITH ME. 527 00:25:58,106 --> 00:25:59,608 YOU HEARD THAT? 528 00:25:59,608 --> 00:26:01,610 BUT YOU WERE OUT. 529 00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:03,111 THERE'S "OUT"... 530 00:26:03,111 --> 00:26:05,113 AND THERE'SOUT. 531 00:26:07,115 --> 00:26:08,617 WELL, STONE, 532 00:26:08,617 --> 00:26:12,120 WHAT SORT OF HEROIC IDIOT AM I THIS TIME? 533 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,622 A MUSKETEER IDIOT. 534 00:26:13,622 --> 00:26:16,124 I READ THAT ON THE AIRPLANE. 535 00:26:16,124 --> 00:26:17,626 VERY FUNNY. VERY GOOD. 536 00:26:17,626 --> 00:26:19,127 I WROTE THAT. 537 00:26:19,127 --> 00:26:20,128 DID YOU? 538 00:26:20,128 --> 00:26:23,131 BRAVO, STONE. BRAVO. 539 00:26:23,131 --> 00:26:25,634 OK, MR. SWANN. TABLE FOR TWO 540 00:26:25,634 --> 00:26:27,636 AT THE STORK CLUB. LET'S MOVE IT. 541 00:26:27,636 --> 00:26:29,638 COMEDY IS SUCH A MYSTERY TO ME. 542 00:26:29,638 --> 00:26:31,640 I FEEL THE WAY EDMUND KEAN DID. 543 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,642 THE GREAT ENGLISH ACTOR? 544 00:26:33,642 --> 00:26:39,147 MM-HMM. ON HIS DEATHBED, KEAN WAS ASKED HOW HE FELT. 545 00:26:39,147 --> 00:26:41,149 HE ANSWERED, 546 00:26:41,149 --> 00:26:43,652 "DYING IS EASY." 547 00:26:45,153 --> 00:26:47,155 "COMEDY IS HARD." 548 00:26:54,663 --> 00:26:57,165 [EXCITED CHATTER] 549 00:27:12,681 --> 00:27:16,685 AH, MR. SWANN, IT'S A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU, SIR. 550 00:27:16,685 --> 00:27:18,687 IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE SEEN. 551 00:27:18,687 --> 00:27:21,189 BENJAMIN STONE, MY COLLEAGUE. 552 00:27:21,189 --> 00:27:24,693 ALAN, YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS. 553 00:27:25,193 --> 00:27:26,194 AS DO YOU. 554 00:27:26,695 --> 00:27:28,697 WE MUST TALK. 555 00:27:43,712 --> 00:27:44,713 THANK YOU. 556 00:27:45,213 --> 00:27:46,715 MR. SWANN. 557 00:27:49,718 --> 00:27:52,721 ALAN! GOOD TO SEE YOU. CALL ME, WILL YOU? 558 00:27:53,221 --> 00:27:54,222 SURELY. 559 00:27:54,723 --> 00:27:56,224 I'LL CALL YOU. 560 00:28:10,739 --> 00:28:11,740 WELCOME BACK, MR. SWANN. 561 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,241 CURT. 562 00:28:13,742 --> 00:28:15,243 CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? 563 00:28:15,744 --> 00:28:16,745 PERHAPS. 564 00:28:17,245 --> 00:28:19,247 CURT... 565 00:28:19,748 --> 00:28:23,752 WHO IS THAT GORGEOUS-LOOKING CREATURE OVER THERE? 566 00:28:26,254 --> 00:28:27,756 OH, NO, MR. SWANN. 567 00:28:27,756 --> 00:28:31,259 THIS IS EXACTLY THE WAY IT STARTED LAST TIME. 568 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,262 IN THAT CASE, WE'LL JUST ORDER DINNER. 569 00:28:35,764 --> 00:28:37,265 FOR NOW. 570 00:28:50,111 --> 00:28:55,116 VICTORIA WAS THE ONE I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. 571 00:28:55,116 --> 00:28:58,119 APART FROM BEING THE FINEST ACTRESS I'VE WORKED WITH, 572 00:28:58,119 --> 00:28:59,621 SHE WAS THE MOST GRACIOUS 573 00:28:59,621 --> 00:29:02,123 AND INTELLIGENT WOMAN I'VE EVER KNOWN. 574 00:29:02,123 --> 00:29:04,626 WAS IT TRUE THE TWO OF YOU LIVED TOGETHER 575 00:29:05,126 --> 00:29:08,129 WHILE YOU WERE FILMINGRAPTURE? 576 00:29:08,129 --> 00:29:12,133 LORD KNOWS I WAS MARRIED TO ALMOST ALL HER FRIENDS. 577 00:29:13,134 --> 00:29:15,637 WHY DID YOU MARRY SO MANY OF THEM? 578 00:29:16,638 --> 00:29:19,641 STONE, I DIDN'T MARRY ANY OF THEM. 579 00:29:20,141 --> 00:29:21,643 THEY MARRIED ME. 580 00:29:25,647 --> 00:29:27,649 EXCUSE ME, MR. SWANN. I'M ALVIN HORN. 581 00:29:28,149 --> 00:29:29,651 MY WIFE ANN AND I 582 00:29:29,651 --> 00:29:32,654 ARE CELEBRATING OUR 40th ANNIVERSARY. 583 00:29:33,154 --> 00:29:34,155 CONGRATULATIONS, SPORT! 584 00:29:34,656 --> 00:29:36,658 YOU CERTAINLY HAVE MORE STAYING POWER THAN I. 585 00:29:37,158 --> 00:29:39,160 IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO HER 586 00:29:39,661 --> 00:29:42,664 IF YOU COULD STOP ON YOUR WAY OUT AND JUST SAY HELLO. 587 00:29:42,664 --> 00:29:44,165 WHY WAIT? 588 00:29:44,165 --> 00:29:47,669 LEAD ME TO THE FAIR ANN. 589 00:29:49,671 --> 00:29:51,172 STONE, 590 00:29:51,172 --> 00:29:53,174 IN A FEW MINUTES, 591 00:29:53,174 --> 00:29:55,677 I SHALL REQUIRE A DIVERSION. 592 00:30:03,184 --> 00:30:05,687 MR. SWANN, MY WIFE ANN. 593 00:30:06,688 --> 00:30:08,690 MR. HORN, MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE 594 00:30:08,690 --> 00:30:10,191 WITH YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE? 595 00:30:10,191 --> 00:30:12,193 OF COURSE. 596 00:31:30,772 --> 00:31:32,774 [CRASH] 597 00:31:32,774 --> 00:31:34,776 COME BACK HERE! 598 00:31:34,776 --> 00:31:36,778 AAH! OHH! 599 00:31:51,793 --> 00:31:53,795 IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS? 600 00:31:53,795 --> 00:31:55,463 SOMEBODY STOLE MY GIRL! 601 00:31:55,463 --> 00:31:58,466 [PLAYING SOMEBODY STOLE MY GAL] 602 00:32:04,973 --> 00:32:06,474 "TO THE QUESTION, 603 00:32:06,474 --> 00:32:08,476 "WHAT WERE YOU DOING NAKED 604 00:32:08,476 --> 00:32:10,979 "IN CENTRAL PARK IN BETHESDA FOUNTAIN 605 00:32:10,979 --> 00:32:12,981 "AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING? 606 00:32:12,981 --> 00:32:14,482 SWANN REPLIED, THE BACKSTROKE." 607 00:32:14,482 --> 00:32:16,985 NOW, IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF WATCHING HIM, BENJY? 608 00:32:17,485 --> 00:32:18,486 THE POLICE ARE TREATING IT 609 00:32:18,987 --> 00:32:20,989 LIKE A PARKING TICKET. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 610 00:32:21,489 --> 00:32:24,492 NO BIG DEAL? WE GOT KIDS WATCHING THIS SHOW. 611 00:32:24,492 --> 00:32:26,995 WE'RE TALKING GENERATIONS TO COME HERE! 612 00:32:26,995 --> 00:32:28,997 WE'RE DISCUSSING MORALS HERE! 613 00:32:30,999 --> 00:32:34,002 YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED TO DISCUSS MORALS, SY. 614 00:32:34,002 --> 00:32:35,503 UP YOUR HOLE WITH A MELLO ROLL, ALICE, 615 00:32:36,004 --> 00:32:37,005 AND YOURS, TOO, HERB! 616 00:32:37,005 --> 00:32:38,006 LEO, IT GETS ME SICK 617 00:32:38,506 --> 00:32:40,008 TO THINK WE GOT TO PUT UP WITH SOME WASHED-UP JIBONNEY 618 00:32:40,008 --> 00:32:42,010 WHO'S GOING TO BE RUNNING AROUND CENTRAL PARK 619 00:32:42,010 --> 00:32:43,511 WITH HIS SCHLONG HANGING OUT! 620 00:32:43,511 --> 00:32:45,013 MY DEAR FELLOW, WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO 621 00:32:45,013 --> 00:32:47,515 WITH MY SCHLONG IS MY BUSINESS. 622 00:32:47,515 --> 00:32:48,516 HOW'S BUSINESS? 623 00:32:48,516 --> 00:32:50,518 NEVER BETTER. 624 00:32:50,518 --> 00:32:51,519 STONE! GOOD MORNING. 625 00:32:51,519 --> 00:32:52,520 GOOD MORNING. 626 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:53,521 MORNING, ALL. 627 00:32:53,521 --> 00:32:55,023 MORNING. 628 00:32:56,024 --> 00:32:57,525 MORNING. 629 00:32:57,525 --> 00:32:58,526 GOOD MORNING. 630 00:32:58,526 --> 00:32:59,527 GOOD MORNING. 631 00:32:59,527 --> 00:33:01,029 WHEN KING GETS HERE, 632 00:33:01,029 --> 00:33:03,531 WE'LL READ THROUGH THE MUSKETEER SKETCH. 633 00:33:03,531 --> 00:33:06,534 MY ASSISTANT K.C. DOWNING, MR. SWANN. 634 00:33:06,534 --> 00:33:08,036 HOW DO YOU DO? 635 00:33:08,036 --> 00:33:09,037 HELLO. UH, OH, 636 00:33:09,037 --> 00:33:10,538 UH, IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU NEED, 637 00:33:11,039 --> 00:33:12,540 I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU. 638 00:33:12,540 --> 00:33:14,042 ANYTHING? 639 00:33:14,042 --> 00:33:15,543 HA HA! WITHIN REASON. 640 00:33:15,543 --> 00:33:18,046 WELL, LET'S BEGIN WITH SOME TEA 641 00:33:18,046 --> 00:33:21,049 AND SEE WHERE THAT LEADS US. 642 00:33:21,049 --> 00:33:23,051 AH, TEA... 643 00:33:23,051 --> 00:33:25,053 OH, DO YOU DRINK BAGS? 644 00:33:25,053 --> 00:33:27,555 I MEAN--I MEAN, ARE THESE OK--TEA BAGS? 645 00:33:28,056 --> 00:33:29,057 OH, SURELY. 646 00:33:30,558 --> 00:33:31,559 NOW-- 647 00:33:31,559 --> 00:33:33,561 GOOD MORNING, MR. KAISER. 648 00:33:40,568 --> 00:33:42,570 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 649 00:33:42,570 --> 00:33:44,072 LEO! 650 00:33:44,572 --> 00:33:45,573 OH, AND, UH... 651 00:33:45,573 --> 00:33:49,577 GOOD MORNING, UH, MR. SWANN. 652 00:33:53,081 --> 00:33:54,582 WHERE'S THE MUSKETEER SET? 653 00:33:55,083 --> 00:33:58,086 OK, IT ISN'T HERE. THAT'S WHERE IT IS, 654 00:33:58,086 --> 00:33:59,587 AND THEY WON'T DELIVER IT. 655 00:33:59,587 --> 00:34:02,590 ROJECK DID IT. NOW YOU HAPPY? 656 00:34:02,590 --> 00:34:03,591 ROJECK? 657 00:34:03,591 --> 00:34:06,094 YEAH. OH, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA. 658 00:34:06,094 --> 00:34:08,596 LET'S JUST DROP THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH THIS WEEK. 659 00:34:08,596 --> 00:34:10,598 GET ME THAT SET, YOU UNDERSTAND? 660 00:34:10,598 --> 00:34:12,100 I WANT THAT SET! 661 00:34:12,100 --> 00:34:13,601 I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO RENT TRUCKS! 662 00:34:14,102 --> 00:34:15,103 FIND DRIVERS! 663 00:34:15,103 --> 00:34:16,104 GET THAT SET! BUILD A SET! 664 00:34:16,104 --> 00:34:17,105 STEAL A SET! I DON'T CARE! 665 00:34:17,605 --> 00:34:19,607 NOBODY'S GOING TO TELL KING KAISER THAT... 666 00:34:22,110 --> 00:34:24,112 OK, I'M GOING TO GO BACK THERE AND GET MY SCRIPT, 667 00:34:24,612 --> 00:34:26,114 AND THEN I'LL COME BACK HERE, 668 00:34:26,614 --> 00:34:28,616 AND WE'LL READ THROUGH THE SKETCH, 669 00:34:28,616 --> 00:34:30,618 AND THEN WE'LL WORK OUT THE SET PROBLEM. 670 00:34:31,119 --> 00:34:32,120 OK, LEO? 671 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:33,121 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 672 00:34:34,622 --> 00:34:37,625 OK, EVERYBODY, LET'S TAKE 10 MINUTES. 673 00:34:37,625 --> 00:34:39,127 CAVALCADE. 674 00:34:41,129 --> 00:34:43,131 BENJY STONE! TELEPHONE! 675 00:34:46,968 --> 00:34:48,469 HELLO. 676 00:34:48,469 --> 00:34:49,971 BENJAMIN, DARLING. 677 00:34:49,971 --> 00:34:51,973 MA. DID YOU WATCH THE SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT? 678 00:34:51,973 --> 00:34:53,474 NO. WE WATCHED WRESTLING INSTEAD. 679 00:34:53,975 --> 00:34:54,976 OF COURSE I SAW THE SHOW. 680 00:34:55,476 --> 00:34:56,477 WELL? 681 00:34:56,477 --> 00:34:58,980 WELL, WHAT ELSE? IT WAS BRILLIANT, DARLING. 682 00:34:58,980 --> 00:35:02,984 JUST ONE THING. WHO IS THIS BENJY STONE? 683 00:35:02,984 --> 00:35:04,986 MA, DON'T START IN. 684 00:35:04,986 --> 00:35:06,988 DO YOU THINK--SHH! 685 00:35:06,988 --> 00:35:09,991 DO YOU THINK I'LL EVER SEE 686 00:35:09,991 --> 00:35:11,993 THE NAME BENJAMIN STEINBERG-- A REAL NAME-- 687 00:35:11,993 --> 00:35:13,995 GO BY KING KAISER'S FACE ONE DAY? 688 00:35:13,995 --> 00:35:17,498 LOOK WHO'S TALKING, MRS. BELLE CARRIOCA. 689 00:35:17,498 --> 00:35:19,500 CARROCA. CARROCA. 690 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:22,003 CARROCA. CARROCA. 691 00:35:22,003 --> 00:35:25,506 ROOKIE, SHUSH. SEE? NOW YOU UPSET YOUR STEPFATHER. 692 00:35:25,506 --> 00:35:27,508 MA, COULD YOU JUST CALL HIM ROOKIE, 693 00:35:27,508 --> 00:35:29,510 AND NOT MY STEPFATHER ALL THE TIME? 694 00:35:29,510 --> 00:35:32,513 BENJAMIN, DARLING-- ROOKIE, DUST. 695 00:35:32,513 --> 00:35:36,517 BEFORE YOUR BELOVED FATHER PASSED AWAY 696 00:35:36,517 --> 00:35:40,021 AND EVENTUALLY DIED, HE SAID TO ME, 697 00:35:40,021 --> 00:35:42,523 "BELLE, AFTER I GO, 698 00:35:42,523 --> 00:35:46,027 "GET SOMEONE TO BE WITH, SOMEONE NICE, 699 00:35:46,027 --> 00:35:48,029 A PAL." 700 00:35:48,029 --> 00:35:50,031 SO YOU WENT OUT AND FOUND 701 00:35:50,031 --> 00:35:52,533 A FILIPINO BANTAMWEIGHT NAMED ROOKIE CARROCA? 702 00:35:52,533 --> 00:35:53,534 ROOKIE CARROCA, 703 00:35:54,035 --> 00:35:56,537 WHOHELD THE TITLE FOR WELL OVER 6 MONTHS! 704 00:35:57,038 --> 00:35:58,039 UNTIL MANNY SERPA TURNED HIM 705 00:35:58,539 --> 00:36:00,041 INTO GUAVA JELLY AT THE GARDEN. 706 00:36:00,041 --> 00:36:01,542 SERPA BUTTED HIM. 707 00:36:01,542 --> 00:36:03,544 I'LL FIGHT SERPA TODAY AND TAKE HIM APART! 708 00:36:03,544 --> 00:36:05,046 DO YOU HEAR WHAT YOU STARTED HERE? 709 00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:06,547 MA... 710 00:36:06,547 --> 00:36:07,548 WHAT?! 711 00:36:07,548 --> 00:36:09,550 WAS THERE A REASON YOU CALLED? 712 00:36:10,051 --> 00:36:11,052 ONLY TO REMIND YOU 713 00:36:11,052 --> 00:36:13,554 THAT YOU'RE COMING HERE FOR DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT. 714 00:36:13,554 --> 00:36:15,556 OH, NO! MA, I CAN'T MAKE IT. 715 00:36:16,057 --> 00:36:17,558 ALAN SWANN'S ON THE SHOW, 716 00:36:17,558 --> 00:36:19,560 AND THEY MADE ME HIS KEEPER. 717 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,062 ALAN SWANN FROM THE MOVIES? 718 00:36:21,062 --> 00:36:22,563 YEAH. 719 00:36:22,563 --> 00:36:25,066 ROOKIE, ALAN SWANN FROM THE MOVIES. 720 00:36:25,066 --> 00:36:26,567 SO BRING HIM ALONG. 721 00:36:26,567 --> 00:36:29,570 BRING ALAN SWANN TO BROOKLYN? 722 00:36:29,570 --> 00:36:32,573 WELL, WHY NOT? WHAT ARE YOU ASHAMED OF? 723 00:36:32,573 --> 00:36:33,574 EVERYTHING. 724 00:36:34,075 --> 00:36:35,576 AND, BENJAMIN, WHEN YOU GET HERE, 725 00:36:36,077 --> 00:36:38,079 BE NICE TO MY ROOKIE. HE LIKES YOU. 726 00:36:38,079 --> 00:36:39,580 YEAH, AND I LIKE HIM. 727 00:36:39,580 --> 00:36:42,083 TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL BRING HIM A PRESENT. 728 00:36:42,583 --> 00:36:44,585 DOES HE NEED A NEW MACHETE? 729 00:36:44,585 --> 00:36:48,422 EYES. IT'S ALWAYS IN THE EYES. 730 00:36:49,924 --> 00:36:53,928 YOU--I WOULD LIKE A WORD WITHYOU. 731 00:36:53,928 --> 00:36:55,429 OH, BENJAMIN, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE 732 00:36:55,429 --> 00:36:57,932 OF AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION HERE. 733 00:36:57,932 --> 00:37:00,434 I BET IT'S REAL INTERESTING. WHAT'S THE SUBJECT 734 00:37:00,434 --> 00:37:02,436 OF THIS INTERESTING CONVERSATION? 735 00:37:02,436 --> 00:37:04,939 THESE EYES. 736 00:37:04,939 --> 00:37:06,941 THEY'RE MERLE OBERON'S EYES. 737 00:37:06,941 --> 00:37:07,942 MERLE OBERON'S? 738 00:37:07,942 --> 00:37:10,444 OH, AND WHAT'S MERLE DOING FOR EYES, 739 00:37:10,444 --> 00:37:11,946 USING KATHARINE HEPBURN'S? 740 00:37:11,946 --> 00:37:13,948 UH, UH... 741 00:37:13,948 --> 00:37:16,450 EXCUSE ME, ALAN. 742 00:37:16,450 --> 00:37:18,452 EXCUSEME,ALAN. 743 00:37:18,452 --> 00:37:20,955 BENJAMIN, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 744 00:37:20,955 --> 00:37:22,456 ME?! IF YOU'RE GOING TO FALL 745 00:37:22,456 --> 00:37:24,959 FOR EVERY MOVIE STAR WHO COMES ON THE SHOW, 746 00:37:24,959 --> 00:37:27,962 WHAT KIND OF A FUTURE AREWEGOING TO HAVE? 747 00:37:27,962 --> 00:37:31,465 THE SAME AS WE HAVE NOW--NONE! 748 00:37:32,466 --> 00:37:33,968 WAIT. 749 00:37:33,968 --> 00:37:36,470 GIVE HER A HEAD START. 750 00:37:36,470 --> 00:37:39,473 IT GIVES HER THE ILLUSION SHE'S BEING CHASED. 751 00:37:44,979 --> 00:37:47,481 [RUNNING] 752 00:37:47,982 --> 00:37:49,984 THESE CANS SAY "CRUSH"! 753 00:37:49,984 --> 00:37:52,486 WHERE THE HELL ARE THE PINEAPPLE GIRLS? 754 00:37:52,486 --> 00:37:53,988 HEY. I'M SORRY. 755 00:37:53,988 --> 00:37:55,489 I ACTED LIKE A JERK. 756 00:37:55,489 --> 00:37:57,491 YOU'RE BEING TOO EASY ON YOURSELF, 757 00:37:57,491 --> 00:37:58,993 AND WHERE DID YOU GET THE IDEA 758 00:37:58,993 --> 00:38:00,494 THAT WE HAVE A FUTURE? 759 00:38:00,494 --> 00:38:01,996 WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. 760 00:38:01,996 --> 00:38:02,997 WHAT UNDERSTANDING? 761 00:38:03,497 --> 00:38:04,999 THAT I AM HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH YOU 762 00:38:04,999 --> 00:38:07,001 AND YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT ME. 763 00:38:07,001 --> 00:38:08,502 HA HA! YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT. 764 00:38:08,502 --> 00:38:11,505 WELL, MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND. 765 00:38:11,505 --> 00:38:14,508 THIS BELONGED TO MY GRANDMOTHER. 766 00:38:14,508 --> 00:38:17,511 I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. 767 00:38:19,013 --> 00:38:22,516 OH, BENJAMIN. I CAN'T TAKE THAT. 768 00:38:22,516 --> 00:38:25,019 FINE. HOW ABOUT A CAR? 769 00:38:25,019 --> 00:38:27,021 BENJAMIN, THE RING. 770 00:38:27,021 --> 00:38:29,023 IT WAS GLASS. 771 00:38:29,023 --> 00:38:30,524 OH! SANCTUARY! 772 00:38:30,524 --> 00:38:32,026 SANCTUARY! 773 00:38:32,026 --> 00:38:33,527 SANCTUARY, MY ASS. 774 00:38:36,030 --> 00:38:37,531 I'M SORRY, LADIES. 775 00:38:37,531 --> 00:38:39,533 BENJAMIN, WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE? 776 00:38:40,034 --> 00:38:42,536 NO. NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON 777 00:38:42,536 --> 00:38:44,038 BETWEEN YOU AND SWANN. 778 00:38:44,038 --> 00:38:45,539 LOOK, JUST GET OUT OF HERE! 779 00:38:45,539 --> 00:38:46,540 HEY, I'M IN HERE. 780 00:38:47,041 --> 00:38:48,542 WAIT. I WAS SAVING THIS FOR LATER. 781 00:38:48,542 --> 00:38:49,543 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 782 00:38:49,543 --> 00:38:50,544 WHAT'S HE DOING? 783 00:38:50,544 --> 00:38:51,545 I'M PROPOSING. 784 00:38:51,545 --> 00:38:52,546 WHAT? WHAT? 785 00:38:52,546 --> 00:38:54,548 I'M PROPOSING THAT WE LIVE TOGETHER, 786 00:38:54,548 --> 00:38:56,050 AND IF WE LIKE IT, WE GET MARRIED. 787 00:38:56,050 --> 00:38:57,551 COME ON. SAY YES. 788 00:38:57,551 --> 00:38:58,552 OH, GOD. OH, MY GOD. 789 00:38:59,053 --> 00:39:01,555 ALL RIGHT, IF THAT'S TOO TOUGH, JUST NOD YOUR HEAD. 790 00:39:01,555 --> 00:39:04,058 PLEASE GIVE ME A WORD, A SIGN, A SOUND. 791 00:39:04,058 --> 00:39:06,060 [TOILET FLUSHES] 792 00:39:06,060 --> 00:39:09,063 THAT'S NOT THE SOUND I WAS LOOKING FOR. 793 00:39:09,063 --> 00:39:10,564 ALL RIGHT, THE HELL WITH IT. 794 00:39:10,564 --> 00:39:11,565 I'M COMING OUT NOW. 795 00:39:12,066 --> 00:39:13,567 AH, STONE! TIME FOR LUNCH? 796 00:39:14,068 --> 00:39:15,569 JUST GOING TO THE LAVATORY. 797 00:39:16,570 --> 00:39:18,572 THIS IS FOR LADIES ONLY. 798 00:39:19,073 --> 00:39:20,574 [ZIPPER UNZIPPING] 799 00:39:20,574 --> 00:39:22,076 AND SO IS THIS, MA'AM, 800 00:39:22,076 --> 00:39:23,077 BUT EVERY NOW AND AGAIN 801 00:39:23,077 --> 00:39:24,578 I HAVE TO RUN A LITTLE WATER THROUGH IT. 802 00:39:26,580 --> 00:39:29,750 NO, STONE, I INSIST. LUNCH IS ON ME. 803 00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:31,252 I GOT IT. 804 00:39:31,752 --> 00:39:32,753 GOOD. 805 00:39:32,753 --> 00:39:35,256 STONE, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS MORNING, 806 00:39:35,256 --> 00:39:36,257 I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA 807 00:39:36,757 --> 00:39:38,259 I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF INSERTING MYSELF 808 00:39:38,259 --> 00:39:39,760 INTO AN ARRANGEMENT WHICH ALREADY EXISTED 809 00:39:40,261 --> 00:39:41,262 BETWEEN YOU AND MISS DOWNING. 810 00:39:41,762 --> 00:39:43,264 WOULD IT HAVE MADE ANY DIFFERENCE? 811 00:39:43,264 --> 00:39:44,265 NO. 812 00:39:44,265 --> 00:39:46,267 ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE GIRL? 813 00:39:46,267 --> 00:39:49,270 I THINK I AM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS. 814 00:39:49,270 --> 00:39:50,271 ROMANCE, STONE-- 815 00:39:50,271 --> 00:39:52,773 THAT'S THE ONLY THING WE CAN BE SURE THEY ALL WANT. 816 00:39:52,773 --> 00:39:54,775 Benjy: I NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE HER. 817 00:39:54,775 --> 00:39:56,777 SHE NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE YOU. 818 00:39:56,777 --> 00:39:58,279 USE THAT. CULTIVATE IT. 819 00:39:58,279 --> 00:40:00,281 RIGHT THERE IS WHERE I LOST YOU. 820 00:40:00,281 --> 00:40:02,783 STONE, WOMEN LOVE TO BE INTRIGUED. 821 00:40:02,783 --> 00:40:05,286 THEY ENJOY UNRAVELING THE MYSTERY THAT IS MAN, 822 00:40:05,286 --> 00:40:07,788 BUT YOU MUST ALLOW THEM THE FREEDOM 823 00:40:07,788 --> 00:40:08,789 TO DISCOVER YOU. 824 00:40:08,789 --> 00:40:09,790 IS THAT WHAT YOU DO? 825 00:40:10,291 --> 00:40:12,793 NO. I DON'T HAVE THAT LUXURY. 826 00:40:12,793 --> 00:40:13,794 THE WOMEN WHO ARE INTERESTED IN ME 827 00:40:14,295 --> 00:40:15,796 KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM AND WHAT THEY WANT, 828 00:40:15,796 --> 00:40:18,299 AND 9 TIMES OUT OF 10, THEY GET IT. 829 00:40:18,299 --> 00:40:19,800 THAT'S SOME CURSE. 830 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,302 YOU'D BE SURPRISED. 831 00:40:21,802 --> 00:40:23,804 YOU SEE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, 832 00:40:23,804 --> 00:40:26,307 I CAN NEVER FULFILL THEIR EXPECTATIONS. 833 00:40:26,307 --> 00:40:28,809 COULD I-- COULD I HAVE... 834 00:41:00,841 --> 00:41:02,843 SO THIS IS THE BENJY STONE VERSION 835 00:41:03,344 --> 00:41:04,845 OF DINNER AND A MOVIE, HUH? 836 00:41:04,845 --> 00:41:05,846 DOESN'T SY'S OFFICE 837 00:41:05,846 --> 00:41:07,848 TAKE ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT FEELING AT NIGHT? 838 00:41:07,848 --> 00:41:09,350 YEAH. IT GETS WORSE. 839 00:41:09,350 --> 00:41:11,352 OK, HERE WE GO. 840 00:41:11,352 --> 00:41:14,355 THESE ARE ALL DIM-SUM-- CHINESE DUMPLINGS. 841 00:41:14,355 --> 00:41:16,357 THESE ARE PAN-FRIED. THOSE ARE STEAMED. 842 00:41:16,357 --> 00:41:17,858 THEY'RE GOOD JUST WITH VINEGAR. 843 00:41:18,359 --> 00:41:20,361 CHILI SAUCE--STAY AWAY FROM THIS BABY. 844 00:41:20,361 --> 00:41:22,363 A COUPLE OF DROPS OF THIS, 845 00:41:22,863 --> 00:41:24,865 AND YOUR TONGUE DIALS THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. 846 00:41:24,865 --> 00:41:26,367 YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THESE? 847 00:41:26,867 --> 00:41:28,369 UH, TO MAKE A SWEATER, YES. 848 00:41:28,869 --> 00:41:30,371 OK, I'LL SHOW YOU. LOOK. BALANCE IS EVERYTHING. 849 00:41:30,871 --> 00:41:31,872 ONE GOES THERE, 850 00:41:31,872 --> 00:41:33,874 THE OTHER ONE ON TOP LIKE THAT. 851 00:41:33,874 --> 00:41:36,377 NOW, DO EXACTLY AS I DO. 852 00:41:37,878 --> 00:41:40,381 DIM-SUM ARE TOO HARD TO EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS. 853 00:41:40,381 --> 00:41:41,882 DON'T MAKE YOURSELF CRAZY. 854 00:41:41,882 --> 00:41:43,884 HA HA! OK. 855 00:41:43,884 --> 00:41:46,387 YOU REALLY KNOW THIS STUFF. 856 00:41:46,887 --> 00:41:48,389 KATHARINE, JEWS KNOW TWO THINGS-- 857 00:41:48,889 --> 00:41:52,893 SUFFERING AND WHERE TO FIND GREAT CHINESE FOOD. 858 00:42:00,401 --> 00:42:01,902 WHAT? 859 00:42:01,902 --> 00:42:04,405 TOO LOUD? WHAT? WHAT? 860 00:42:04,405 --> 00:42:06,907 NO, NO. IT'S JUST-- IT'S REALLY NICE. 861 00:42:07,408 --> 00:42:09,910 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE HAVING YOUR DINNER, 862 00:42:10,411 --> 00:42:11,412 WEARING MEN'S CLOTHING-- 863 00:42:11,912 --> 00:42:13,414 WELL, SORT OF. 864 00:42:13,914 --> 00:42:15,916 I MEAN, I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY. 865 00:42:15,916 --> 00:42:19,420 I LIKE THIS GUY MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER GUY. 866 00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:20,421 WHAT OTHER GUY? 867 00:42:20,921 --> 00:42:22,423 OH, YOU KNOW, THE GUY IN THE TIARA, 868 00:42:22,923 --> 00:42:24,425 THE MOSQUITO WHO BOTHERS YOU IN ELEVATORS, 869 00:42:24,925 --> 00:42:26,427 THE PERSON WHO RUNS DOWN THE HALLWAY 870 00:42:26,927 --> 00:42:29,930 WITH SCOTCH TAPE ALL OVER HIS BODY, THE HUMAN FLY. 871 00:42:29,930 --> 00:42:31,932 OHHH! 872 00:42:31,932 --> 00:42:33,434 DO YOU THINK-- I THINK-- 873 00:42:33,434 --> 00:42:35,936 NO, I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY, 874 00:42:35,936 --> 00:42:38,939 DO YOU THINK THERE ARE FUNNY PEOPLE 875 00:42:38,939 --> 00:42:40,941 AND NOT-FUNNY PEOPLE? 876 00:42:40,941 --> 00:42:42,443 YES. DEFINITELY. 877 00:42:42,443 --> 00:42:43,944 ON THE FUNNY SIDE, 878 00:42:43,944 --> 00:42:45,946 THERE ARE THE MARX BROTHERS EXCEPT ZEPPO, 879 00:42:45,946 --> 00:42:48,449 THE RITZ BROTHERS-- NO EXCEPTIONS-- 880 00:42:48,449 --> 00:42:51,952 BOTH LAUREL AND HARDY, AND WOODY WOODPECKER. 881 00:42:51,952 --> 00:42:53,454 ON THE UNFUNNY SIDE, THERE IS ANYBODY 882 00:42:53,454 --> 00:42:57,458 WHO HAS EVER PLAYED THE ACCORDION PROFESSIONALLY. 883 00:42:57,958 --> 00:42:59,460 HA HA HA! AND ME. 884 00:42:59,460 --> 00:43:01,962 YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY WHO WORKS HERE IS FUNNY EXCEPT ME. 885 00:43:01,962 --> 00:43:03,464 NO, YOU'RE FUNNY. 886 00:43:03,464 --> 00:43:05,466 REALLY? WHEN? 887 00:43:07,468 --> 00:43:09,470 WELL, I'M SURE YOU COULD BE FUNNY. 888 00:43:09,470 --> 00:43:10,971 HOW? 889 00:43:10,971 --> 00:43:13,974 YOU CAN TELL A JOKE. ANYONE CAN TELL A JOKE. 890 00:43:13,974 --> 00:43:15,476 NOT ME. 891 00:43:15,476 --> 00:43:17,978 YES, YOU CAN. I'LL TEACH YOU. 892 00:43:17,978 --> 00:43:19,980 I'LL TELL YOU A JOKE, 893 00:43:19,980 --> 00:43:22,983 AND YOU TELL IT BACK TO ME, OK? 894 00:43:22,983 --> 00:43:24,485 OK, I'LL TRY. 895 00:43:24,485 --> 00:43:28,489 FIRST RULE--NEVER TELL A JOKE SITTING DOWN. 896 00:43:28,489 --> 00:43:31,492 YOU HAVE TO BE ON YOUR FEET AND USE YOUR HANDS. 897 00:43:33,494 --> 00:43:35,996 THIS GUY WALKS INTO A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE. 898 00:43:35,996 --> 00:43:37,498 HE HAS A DUCK ON HIS HEAD. 899 00:43:37,498 --> 00:43:38,999 THE PSYCHIATRIST SAYS, "CAN I HELP YOU?" 900 00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:42,503 THE DUCK SAYS, "YEAH. GET THIS GUY OFF MY ASS." 901 00:43:42,503 --> 00:43:44,004 OK, NOW YOU TRY. 902 00:43:44,004 --> 00:43:47,007 OK, HERE GOES. 903 00:43:47,007 --> 00:43:48,509 A MAN-- 904 00:43:48,509 --> 00:43:51,011 HOLD IT. "THIS GUY" IS BETTER THAN "MAN." 905 00:43:51,011 --> 00:43:52,012 OH, OK. 906 00:43:52,012 --> 00:43:54,014 SORRY. 907 00:43:54,014 --> 00:43:56,517 AND USE YOUR HANDS. SORRY. GO AHEAD. 908 00:43:57,518 --> 00:44:01,021 THIS GUY, UH, WALKS INTO A DOCTOR'S OFFICE. 909 00:44:01,021 --> 00:44:02,523 PSYCHIATRIST. 910 00:44:03,023 --> 00:44:05,025 PSYCHIATRIST, RIGHT. OK, SORRY. I GOT IT. 911 00:44:05,025 --> 00:44:08,529 UH, THIS GUY WALKS INTO A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE 912 00:44:08,529 --> 00:44:10,030 WEARING A DUCK. 913 00:44:10,030 --> 00:44:12,032 WHOA. WHAT? WEARING A DUCK? WEARING A DUCK? 914 00:44:12,032 --> 00:44:14,034 NO. HE HAS A DUCK ON HIS HEAD. 915 00:44:14,535 --> 00:44:16,537 I TOLD YOU I WASN'T VERY GOOD AT THIS. 916 00:44:17,037 --> 00:44:19,540 NO. IT'S MY FAULT. IT'S GOOD. 917 00:44:19,540 --> 00:44:21,041 YEAH? OH, OK. 918 00:44:21,041 --> 00:44:23,544 THIS GUY WALKS INTO A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE 919 00:44:23,544 --> 00:44:26,046 WITH A DUCK ON HIS HEAD, 920 00:44:26,046 --> 00:44:28,549 AND THE GUY SAYS TO THE PSYCHIATRIST, 921 00:44:28,549 --> 00:44:30,050 "WILL YOU HELP ME? 922 00:44:30,050 --> 00:44:32,052 BECAUSE I HAVE A DUCK ON MY HEAD." 923 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,562 WHAT IS THAT FOR? 924 00:44:41,562 --> 00:44:43,063 ACCORDION LESSONS. 925 00:44:43,063 --> 00:44:44,565 OH. HA HA HA! 926 00:44:48,068 --> 00:44:50,571 WELL, THAT ENDS THE DINNER PORTION OF THE EVENING, 927 00:44:51,071 --> 00:44:53,574 AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE MOVIE PORTION. 928 00:45:12,926 --> 00:45:13,927 LORD DRUMMOND. 929 00:45:14,428 --> 00:45:15,929 LORD DRUMMOND! 930 00:45:16,930 --> 00:45:20,434 AH, DRUMMOND, IF IT WILL PUT YOU AT EASE, 931 00:45:20,434 --> 00:45:22,436 I COULD TURN MY BACK AGAIN. 932 00:45:22,436 --> 00:45:23,437 SHH! 933 00:45:23,437 --> 00:45:25,439 YOU WILL THIS DAY TASTE MY STEEL. 934 00:45:25,439 --> 00:45:27,441 THEN LEAVE US NOT DALLY, DRUMMOND, 935 00:45:27,941 --> 00:45:28,942 FOR TODAY I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT 936 00:45:29,443 --> 00:45:30,444 TO MOUNT THE THRONE OF ENGLAND. 937 00:45:30,944 --> 00:45:31,945 OVER MY DEAD BODY. 938 00:45:31,945 --> 00:45:32,946 BE QUIET! 939 00:45:32,946 --> 00:45:34,448 AS YOU WISH. 940 00:45:34,448 --> 00:45:35,949 ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS? 941 00:45:35,949 --> 00:45:36,950 AS YOU WISH. 942 00:45:36,950 --> 00:45:38,952 SIR JOHN! 943 00:45:38,952 --> 00:45:40,954 BENJAMIN! SHH! 944 00:47:17,551 --> 00:47:21,555 I GUESS THIS IS THE KISSING PORTION OF THE EVENING. 945 00:47:33,901 --> 00:47:35,903 ?? I AM ARROGANT ?? 946 00:47:35,903 --> 00:47:37,905 ?? HE'S ARROGANT, HE'S ARROGANT ?? 947 00:47:37,905 --> 00:47:39,406 ?? AND I AM PORTHOLE ?? 948 00:47:39,907 --> 00:47:41,408 ?? HE'S PORTHOLE, HE'S PORTHOLE ?? 949 00:47:41,408 --> 00:47:42,910 ?? AND I AM SWANN ?? 950 00:47:42,910 --> 00:47:44,411 ?? HE'S SWANN, HE'S SWANN ?? 951 00:47:44,411 --> 00:47:45,913 ?? IT'S ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE ?? 952 00:47:46,413 --> 00:47:48,415 ?? AND ONE FOR YOU AND TEA FOR TWO ?? 953 00:47:48,415 --> 00:47:49,416 ?? IT'S YOU AND ME ?? 954 00:47:49,917 --> 00:47:51,418 BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP! 955 00:47:51,919 --> 00:47:53,921 EVERYBODY, OK, ALL RIGHT. 956 00:47:53,921 --> 00:47:55,923 NOW, HOLD IT! HOLD IT! HOLD IT! HOLD IT! 957 00:47:55,923 --> 00:47:56,924 WAIT A MINUTE. 958 00:47:56,924 --> 00:47:59,426 I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING. 959 00:47:59,426 --> 00:48:01,428 ALAN, UH... 960 00:48:01,929 --> 00:48:03,931 I WANT TO TELL YOU 961 00:48:04,431 --> 00:48:05,933 THAT I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 962 00:48:06,433 --> 00:48:07,935 ONLY A LITTLE? I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MY REPUTATION 963 00:48:07,935 --> 00:48:09,937 WARRANTED MAJOR CONCERN. 964 00:48:10,437 --> 00:48:11,438 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 965 00:48:11,438 --> 00:48:13,941 I WAS GOING TO DUMP YOU... 966 00:48:14,441 --> 00:48:17,444 BUT, UH, I'M GLAD I DIDN'T 967 00:48:17,444 --> 00:48:18,445 BECAUSE, UH... 968 00:48:22,950 --> 00:48:27,454 WELL, UH, I'VE SEEN ALL YOUR FILMS, 969 00:48:27,454 --> 00:48:31,458 AND, UH, I'M A FAN. 970 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,962 AND HERE WE ARE WORKING TOGETHER, 971 00:48:34,962 --> 00:48:37,965 AND IT'S, UH, IT'S BEEN NICE 972 00:48:37,965 --> 00:48:41,969 BECAUSE, UH, YOU'RE FUNNY. 973 00:48:41,969 --> 00:48:43,971 YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY. 974 00:48:43,971 --> 00:48:47,474 PRAISE INDEED, SIR, AND MAY I SAY 975 00:48:47,975 --> 00:48:49,476 THAT OTHER THAN ONE REMARKABLE SEASON 976 00:48:49,977 --> 00:48:50,978 WITH AN ENGLISH REPERTORY COMPANY, 977 00:48:51,478 --> 00:48:53,981 THIS IS THE MOST FUN AND THE HARDEST WORK 978 00:48:53,981 --> 00:48:55,983 I'VE DONE SINCE THE WORLD WAS YOUNG. 979 00:49:00,487 --> 00:49:01,989 THAT'S GREAT. REALLY. 980 00:49:02,990 --> 00:49:04,992 BUT ONE OTHER THING. 981 00:49:04,992 --> 00:49:08,495 YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW UP TOMORROW, TOO, RIGHT? 982 00:49:09,496 --> 00:49:10,497 RIGHT, SWANN? 983 00:49:10,497 --> 00:49:11,498 RIGHT, PORTHOLE. 984 00:49:11,498 --> 00:49:13,500 BUT NOW I MUST TAKE LEAVE OF YOU, 985 00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,002 FOR STONE AND I JOURNEY TO DINE 986 00:49:15,002 --> 00:49:17,504 IN SOME FAR-OFF LAND CALLED BROOKLYN. 987 00:49:20,007 --> 00:49:21,508 WELL, THAT'S IT. 988 00:49:21,508 --> 00:49:23,010 BIG DAY TOMORROW-- SHOW DAY. 989 00:49:23,010 --> 00:49:25,512 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. SEE YOU AT 10 A.M. 990 00:49:25,512 --> 00:49:27,014 GOOD NIGHT. 991 00:49:27,014 --> 00:49:28,515 GOOD NIGHT, KING. 992 00:49:28,515 --> 00:49:30,017 TAKE IT EASY, EDDIE. 993 00:49:30,017 --> 00:49:31,518 NICE WORK TODAY. 994 00:49:31,518 --> 00:49:33,520 DO IT THAT GOOD ON THE SHOW TOMORROW. 995 00:49:35,522 --> 00:49:36,523 WHAT? YOU ALL RIGHT? 996 00:49:36,523 --> 00:49:38,025 IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M OK. IT'S NO PROBLEM. 997 00:49:38,025 --> 00:49:40,027 IT'S NOTHING. THE THING FELL. IT'S NOTHING, REALLY. 998 00:49:40,027 --> 00:49:41,028 GO HOME. GO HOME. REALLY. 999 00:49:41,028 --> 00:49:42,529 SURE YOU'RE OK? I'M OK. 1000 00:49:42,529 --> 00:49:43,530 I WANT YOU TO GET SOME REST. 1001 00:49:43,530 --> 00:49:44,531 NOW, EVERYBODY GO HOME. I'M ALL RIGHT. 1002 00:49:44,531 --> 00:49:46,033 I PROMISE YOU I'M ALL RIGHT. 1003 00:49:46,033 --> 00:49:48,535 COME ON. LET'S GO HOME. COME ON. 1004 00:49:50,537 --> 00:49:52,039 MY GOD! 1005 00:49:52,539 --> 00:49:54,041 IT'S AN ACCIDENT, LEO. 1006 00:49:54,541 --> 00:49:56,543 ROJECK. THAT'S IT. 1007 00:49:57,044 --> 00:49:59,546 I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DO 1008 00:50:00,047 --> 00:50:01,048 THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH! 1009 00:50:01,548 --> 00:50:03,050 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, LEO--AN ACCIDENT-- 1010 00:50:03,550 --> 00:50:05,052 AND WE'RE DOING THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH. 1011 00:50:05,552 --> 00:50:07,054 STAN! 1012 00:50:07,054 --> 00:50:08,555 LEO! 1013 00:50:08,555 --> 00:50:10,557 THANKS FOR CARING. 1014 00:50:15,062 --> 00:50:18,231 BY THE BY, STONE, WHERE IS THIS BROOKLYN? 1015 00:50:18,231 --> 00:50:20,233 ANOTHER WORLD. 1016 00:50:59,272 --> 00:51:02,776 UNCLE MORTY. HOW ODD TO FIND YOU HERE. 1017 00:51:02,776 --> 00:51:06,780 WHY? I JUST CAUGHT THE 7:45 ELEVATOR DOWN FROM 6. 1018 00:51:06,780 --> 00:51:08,782 I ASSUME AUNT SADIE IS HERE ALSO. 1019 00:51:08,782 --> 00:51:11,284 NOT YET, BUT SHE'LL BE. 1020 00:51:11,284 --> 00:51:14,788 UNCLE MORTY, SAY HELLO TO ALAN SWANN. 1021 00:51:15,789 --> 00:51:18,291 I DIDN'T CATCH THE NAME. 1022 00:51:22,796 --> 00:51:24,798 OOH. 1023 00:51:27,300 --> 00:51:30,804 ALAN SWANN, ROOKIE CARRIOCA. 1024 00:51:30,804 --> 00:51:32,305 CARROCA! 1025 00:51:32,305 --> 00:51:35,308 THERE WAS A LETHAL BANTAMWEIGHT CALLED CARROCA. 1026 00:51:35,308 --> 00:51:37,310 YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM. 1027 00:51:37,310 --> 00:51:38,812 I SAW YOU FIGHT IN SAN DIEGO-- 1028 00:51:38,812 --> 00:51:39,813 SAILOR DONOVAN. 1029 00:51:40,313 --> 00:51:41,314 RIGHT. 1030 00:51:41,815 --> 00:51:43,316 TOOK HIM OUT IN 3. 1031 00:51:43,316 --> 00:51:44,818 2. 1032 00:51:44,818 --> 00:51:47,320 WHO KNEW THE CHINAMAN WAS A FIGHTER? 1033 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,321 TO ME HE DOESN'T OPEN A MOUTH. 1034 00:51:48,321 --> 00:51:50,323 STILL IN THE FIGHT GAME? 1035 00:51:50,323 --> 00:51:51,825 IN A WAY. 1036 00:51:52,325 --> 00:51:54,327 I MARRIED BENJY'S MOTHER. 1037 00:51:55,829 --> 00:51:56,830 BENJAMIN, DARLING, 1038 00:51:56,830 --> 00:52:00,333 HOW WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU TO HOME. 1039 00:52:00,333 --> 00:52:02,836 I GOT TO GET BACK TO MY MEAT LOAF. 1040 00:52:02,836 --> 00:52:04,838 MR. SWANN, MAY I PRESENT MY MOTHER, 1041 00:52:05,338 --> 00:52:07,340 MRS. BELLE MAY STEINBERG CARROCA 1042 00:52:07,841 --> 00:52:09,342 OF BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, 1043 00:52:09,843 --> 00:52:10,844 AND MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA, 1044 00:52:10,844 --> 00:52:11,845 FOR 2 WEEKS EACH AND EVERY WINTER. 1045 00:52:12,345 --> 00:52:15,348 BENJAMIN, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR MOTHER WAS SO LOVELY? 1046 00:52:15,849 --> 00:52:16,850 FOR ME? 1047 00:52:17,350 --> 00:52:18,351 NO, FOR ME. 1048 00:52:18,852 --> 00:52:20,353 MR. SWANN-- 1049 00:52:20,353 --> 00:52:23,356 ALAN, PLEASE. WHAT MAY I CALL YOU? 1050 00:52:23,356 --> 00:52:25,358 HOW ABOUT YOURS? HA HA! 1051 00:52:25,358 --> 00:52:27,861 OH, ALAN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE HERE, 1052 00:52:27,861 --> 00:52:30,864 I WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME YOU 1053 00:52:30,864 --> 00:52:32,866 TO OUR HUMBLE CHAPEAU. 1054 00:52:32,866 --> 00:52:34,868 TWO YEARS AT THE SORBONNE, 1055 00:52:34,868 --> 00:52:36,369 SHE STILL GETS IT WRONG. 1056 00:52:36,369 --> 00:52:37,370 AL. 1057 00:52:37,370 --> 00:52:38,371 MA! 1058 00:52:38,371 --> 00:52:39,372 WHAT? 1059 00:52:39,873 --> 00:52:41,374 IT'S NOT AL. 1060 00:52:41,374 --> 00:52:44,377 IF I BRING CAPONE OR JOLSON, THEN IT'S AL. 1061 00:52:44,377 --> 00:52:46,379 JOLSON'S COMING? 1062 00:52:46,379 --> 00:52:49,382 ALAN, I WANT YOU TO FEEL PERFECTLY FREE 1063 00:52:49,883 --> 00:52:52,385 TO DO WHATEVER YOU WOULD NORMALLY DO 1064 00:52:52,886 --> 00:52:54,387 IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT. 1065 00:52:54,387 --> 00:52:57,390 SOMETHING TO DRINK BEFORE DINNER? 1066 00:52:57,390 --> 00:52:58,391 UH, SOME SODA WATER. 1067 00:52:58,391 --> 00:53:01,895 ROOKIE, A GLASS OF SELTZER! 1068 00:53:01,895 --> 00:53:03,396 PICK IT UP! 1069 00:53:03,396 --> 00:53:04,898 EXCUSE ME. 1070 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:08,902 SORRY. 1071 00:53:10,904 --> 00:53:13,907 EXCUSE ME, MR. SWANN. I HATE TO IMPOSE, 1072 00:53:14,407 --> 00:53:17,410 BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULD MIND SIGNING-- 1073 00:53:17,410 --> 00:53:18,912 AN AUTOGRAPH? 1074 00:53:18,912 --> 00:53:20,413 CERTAINLY. 1075 00:53:30,423 --> 00:53:31,424 IF YOU DON'T MIND, 1076 00:53:31,925 --> 00:53:33,927 MAKE IT TO SADIE AND MORTY KRONSKY. 1077 00:53:33,927 --> 00:53:35,929 THAT'S WITH A "K." 1078 00:53:35,929 --> 00:53:38,932 THE REST IS THE WAY IT'S USUALLY SPELLED. 1079 00:53:38,932 --> 00:53:40,433 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 1080 00:53:40,934 --> 00:53:41,935 THAT'S PROBABLY AUNT SADIE. 1081 00:53:42,435 --> 00:53:45,939 WHY DON'T YOU GO OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR WIFE? 1082 00:53:45,939 --> 00:53:47,440 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 1083 00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:49,442 THANK YOU, MR. SWANN. 1084 00:53:50,944 --> 00:53:52,445 ALAN. 1085 00:53:52,445 --> 00:53:53,446 THANK YOU. 1086 00:53:53,446 --> 00:53:55,448 YOUR SELTZER. A LITTLE LIVER? 1087 00:53:55,448 --> 00:53:56,950 OH, NO, THANK YOU. 1088 00:54:01,955 --> 00:54:05,458 OH, SADIE, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 1089 00:54:05,458 --> 00:54:07,460 WHAT A LOVELY DRESS. 1090 00:54:07,460 --> 00:54:09,963 YOU LIKE IT? I ONLY WORE IT ONCE. 1091 00:54:09,963 --> 00:54:11,965 Rookie: COME AND GET IT! 1092 00:54:11,965 --> 00:54:14,467 DINNER IS SERVED! 1093 00:54:17,971 --> 00:54:20,974 ROOKIE, YOUR MEAT LOAF MINDANAO WAS SUPERB. 1094 00:54:20,974 --> 00:54:22,475 THANKS. 1095 00:54:22,475 --> 00:54:24,978 THAT TAKES TWO DAYS TO PREPARE, YOU KNOW. 1096 00:54:24,978 --> 00:54:26,980 REALLY? TELL ME. 1097 00:54:26,980 --> 00:54:29,983 WHAT WAS THAT RATHER PUNGENT TASTE? 1098 00:54:29,983 --> 00:54:31,484 PARROT. 1099 00:54:31,484 --> 00:54:34,988 AND THEY'RE NOT EASY TO WORK WITH. 1100 00:54:34,988 --> 00:54:36,990 THEY PUT UP SOME SQUAWK. 1101 00:54:36,990 --> 00:54:38,992 I CAN IMAGINE. 1102 00:54:39,492 --> 00:54:42,996 UM, WHAT WAS THAT DISH? 1103 00:54:43,496 --> 00:54:44,998 FILIPINO PORK AND BEANS. 1104 00:54:44,998 --> 00:54:46,499 WHERE WAS THE PORK? 1105 00:54:46,499 --> 00:54:49,002 YOU CAN'T! THERE'S JEWS HERE. 1106 00:54:49,002 --> 00:54:52,005 SO I GUESS IF YOU WANT TO BE TECHNICAL... 1107 00:54:52,505 --> 00:54:55,008 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 1108 00:54:55,008 --> 00:54:56,009 SO, MR. SWANN, 1109 00:54:56,009 --> 00:54:58,511 NOW THAT WE SAT NICE, 1110 00:54:58,511 --> 00:55:00,013 BROKE BREAD TOGETHER, 1111 00:55:00,013 --> 00:55:02,015 SHARED A GLASS OF WINE, 1112 00:55:02,515 --> 00:55:05,018 I FEEL I KNOW YOU A LITTLE. 1113 00:55:05,018 --> 00:55:07,520 MORTY, I FEEL I KNOW YOU EVEN BETTER. 1114 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,022 GOOD. 1115 00:55:09,022 --> 00:55:12,525 THEN YOU WON'T MIND IF I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 1116 00:55:12,525 --> 00:55:13,526 UNCLE MORTY! 1117 00:55:13,526 --> 00:55:16,529 WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED? IT'S NOT PERSONAL. 1118 00:55:16,529 --> 00:55:18,531 WHAT WAS I, BORN IN MINSKIPINSK? 1119 00:55:18,531 --> 00:55:19,532 I KNOW MY WAY AROUND. 1120 00:55:20,033 --> 00:55:21,534 MORTY, ASK YOUR QUESTION. 1121 00:55:21,534 --> 00:55:24,037 THAT PATERNITY RAP A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO-- 1122 00:55:24,037 --> 00:55:26,039 DID YOU SCHTUP HER? MORTY! 1123 00:55:26,039 --> 00:55:29,042 DID YOU GO ALL THE WAY? 1124 00:55:29,042 --> 00:55:31,044 WHAT? 1125 00:55:31,044 --> 00:55:32,545 WHAT? WHAT? 1126 00:55:33,046 --> 00:55:34,547 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 1127 00:55:34,547 --> 00:55:36,049 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 1128 00:55:36,049 --> 00:55:40,553 MORTY, I HOPE THIS DOESN'T LESSEN YOUR OPINION OF ME, 1129 00:55:40,553 --> 00:55:43,056 BUT THE ANSWER IS NO. 1130 00:55:43,556 --> 00:55:45,058 YOU SEE, 1131 00:55:45,058 --> 00:55:46,559 PEOPLE LIKE ME, WE'RE TARGETS. 1132 00:55:46,559 --> 00:55:49,062 I'M BLAMED FOR A LOT OF THINGS 1133 00:55:49,062 --> 00:55:51,564 I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH. 1134 00:55:51,564 --> 00:55:54,567 ON THE OTHER HAND, BECAUSE OF WHO I AM, 1135 00:55:54,567 --> 00:55:57,570 I GET AWAY WITH MURDER IN OTHER AREAS. 1136 00:55:57,570 --> 00:55:59,572 I SUPPOSE IT ALL BALANCES OUT IN THE END. 1137 00:55:59,572 --> 00:56:02,075 DOES IT REALLY, SWANNY? 1138 00:56:02,075 --> 00:56:05,078 MA, HE'S AN ACTOR, NOT A RIVER. 1139 00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:08,081 SWANNY... 1140 00:56:09,582 --> 00:56:12,085 CAN I TALK FRANK TO YOU? 1141 00:56:12,085 --> 00:56:13,586 CERTAINLY, BELLE. 1142 00:56:13,586 --> 00:56:15,088 UH-OH. 1143 00:56:17,090 --> 00:56:19,592 TAKE A GOOD LOOK HERE. 1144 00:56:19,592 --> 00:56:21,594 THIS--THIS... 1145 00:56:21,594 --> 00:56:23,596 THIS IS GOOD. 1146 00:56:23,596 --> 00:56:26,599 SITTING AROUND WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE. 1147 00:56:26,599 --> 00:56:28,601 SOME YOU JUST LIKE, 1148 00:56:28,601 --> 00:56:32,105 OTHERS MAYBE YOU COULD LIVE WITHOUT, EXCUSE ME. 1149 00:56:32,105 --> 00:56:34,107 SHARING STORIES, 1150 00:56:34,107 --> 00:56:36,109 SHARING WARMTH. 1151 00:56:37,610 --> 00:56:39,112 THIS IS REAL LIFE, ALAN, 1152 00:56:39,612 --> 00:56:41,614 AND THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED. 1153 00:56:42,115 --> 00:56:43,616 A HOME... 1154 00:56:44,117 --> 00:56:46,619 AND A FAMILY... 1155 00:56:46,619 --> 00:56:48,621 AND CHILDREN. HUH? 1156 00:56:48,621 --> 00:56:51,124 HEY, WHO KNOWS? 1157 00:56:52,125 --> 00:56:54,127 UNFORTUNATELY, BELLE, THAT PART OF MY LIFE 1158 00:56:54,127 --> 00:56:55,628 HASN'T WORKED OUT TOO WELL, 1159 00:56:55,628 --> 00:56:57,630 THOUGH I DID PRODUCE 1160 00:56:57,630 --> 00:57:01,134 A PERFECTLY GLORIOUS LITTLE CHILD. 1161 00:57:01,134 --> 00:57:03,136 HER NAME IS TESS. 1162 00:57:03,136 --> 00:57:05,138 SEE? YOU'RE A DADDY, 1163 00:57:05,138 --> 00:57:08,141 AND THIS I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW. 1164 00:57:08,141 --> 00:57:10,143 SO WHERE IS SHE? 1165 00:57:10,143 --> 00:57:13,646 SHE LIVES WITH HER MOTHER IN CONNECTICUT. 1166 00:57:13,646 --> 00:57:16,149 I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN OVER A YEAR. 1167 00:57:16,149 --> 00:57:19,652 A YEAR? SHAME ON YOU, SWANNY. 1168 00:57:19,652 --> 00:57:22,155 YES, YOU'RE RIGHT, BELLE. 1169 00:57:25,158 --> 00:57:27,160 SHAME ON ME INDEED. 1170 00:57:32,665 --> 00:57:35,668 WELL, TIME TO GO. WHAT A DIVINE EVENING. 1171 00:57:35,668 --> 00:57:38,171 WE MUST DO THIS AGAIN REAL SOON-- 1172 00:57:38,171 --> 00:57:40,673 SAY, AT THE TURN OF THE CENTURY? 1173 00:57:43,176 --> 00:57:45,678 ROOKIE, SADIE, MORTY. 1174 00:57:45,678 --> 00:57:47,180 GOOD-BYE, MR. SWANN. 1175 00:57:47,180 --> 00:57:48,681 BELLE. 1176 00:57:48,681 --> 00:57:50,683 OH, ALAN. 1177 00:57:52,185 --> 00:57:54,687 OHHH! OHHH! 1178 00:58:00,693 --> 00:58:02,195 MR. AND MRS. KESSLER, APARTMENT 4-B. 1179 00:58:02,695 --> 00:58:04,697 GOD BLESS YOU, MR. SWANN. 1180 00:58:05,198 --> 00:58:07,200 MR. AND MRS. BERKOWITZ, APARTMENT 2-A. WE LOVE YOU. 1181 00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:09,202 NATHAN AND LILY CANN, SECOND FLOOR FRONT. 1182 00:58:09,702 --> 00:58:11,204 PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU IN THE BUILDING. 1183 00:58:11,704 --> 00:58:13,206 SCALFONI, 1-R. YOU'RE THE BEST! 1184 00:58:13,206 --> 00:58:15,708 HOW DID YOU GET INTO THE BUILDING? 1185 00:58:15,708 --> 00:58:17,210 I'M THE SUPER. 1186 00:58:51,911 --> 00:58:54,914 DR. BUMBACELLI, MY MEDICATION. 1187 00:58:54,914 --> 00:58:56,416 YOUR MEDICATION. 1188 00:59:01,921 --> 00:59:04,424 UH, UH, UH, MR. SWANN. 1189 00:59:04,424 --> 00:59:07,427 UH, BIG DAY TOMORROW. SHOW DAY. 1190 00:59:07,427 --> 00:59:11,431 AND YOU KNOW, I'M SUPPOSED TO WATCH YOU. 1191 00:59:11,431 --> 00:59:13,433 GOOD. WATCH THIS. 1192 00:59:13,433 --> 00:59:16,436 WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN? 1193 00:59:19,939 --> 00:59:23,443 STONE, YOU CAN EITHER WATCH ME OR JOIN ME. 1194 00:59:23,443 --> 00:59:25,445 ONE OF THEM IS MORE FUN. 1195 00:59:25,445 --> 00:59:26,946 YOU WERE A HIT IN BROOKLYN. 1196 00:59:27,447 --> 00:59:28,448 WANT TO TRY THE BRONX NEXT? 1197 00:59:28,948 --> 00:59:31,951 NO. 1030 PARK AVENUE. THE DOWNINGS. 1198 00:59:32,452 --> 00:59:34,454 UH, NO. PLEASE, NO. LET'S NOT GO THERE. 1199 00:59:34,954 --> 00:59:36,456 WHY ARE WE GOING THERE? 1200 00:59:36,956 --> 00:59:37,957 WHY? TO REWEAVE THE FABRIC 1201 00:59:38,458 --> 00:59:39,959 OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FAIR K.C., 1202 00:59:39,959 --> 00:59:40,960 THAT'S WHY. 1203 00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:42,462 THIS SURPRISE VISIT SHOULD DO IT. 1204 00:59:42,962 --> 00:59:44,964 I DON'T THINK SO, MR. SWANN. 1205 00:59:44,964 --> 00:59:47,467 K.C. DOWNING'S PARENTS ARE HAVING A BIG PARTY. 1206 00:59:47,467 --> 00:59:49,469 BESIDES, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LET US UP IN THAT BUILDING. 1207 00:59:49,969 --> 00:59:50,970 EXCELLENT. 1208 00:59:51,471 --> 00:59:52,972 EVER DONE ANY MOUNTAINEERING? 1209 00:59:53,473 --> 00:59:54,974 HUH? 1210 00:59:59,979 --> 01:00:02,482 NOW, ALL WE HAVE TO DO 1211 01:00:02,482 --> 01:00:06,486 IS TO GET FROM HERE... TO THERE. 1212 01:00:08,488 --> 01:00:09,489 IT WON'T WORK. 1213 01:00:09,989 --> 01:00:11,491 IT WORKED PERFECTLY WELL 1214 01:00:11,491 --> 01:00:13,493 INA SLIGHT CASE OF DIVORCE. 1215 01:00:13,993 --> 01:00:14,994 THAT WAS A MOVIE. 1216 01:00:15,495 --> 01:00:17,997 THIS IS REAL LIFE! 1217 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,503 WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? 1218 01:00:23,503 --> 01:00:28,508 OH...MMM... 1219 01:00:30,510 --> 01:00:32,011 IT'S STUCK. 1220 01:00:36,516 --> 01:00:38,518 WHAT WE NEED... 1221 01:00:38,518 --> 01:00:41,521 IS SOMETHING LIKE A ROPE. 1222 01:00:47,527 --> 01:00:49,529 LET'S NOT DO THIS. 1223 01:00:49,529 --> 01:00:53,533 OH, STONE, I'VE DONE IT A HUNDRED TIMES! 1224 01:00:56,536 --> 01:00:57,537 WHOA! 1225 01:00:57,537 --> 01:01:00,540 OR WAS THAT A STUNTMAN? 1226 01:01:13,052 --> 01:01:14,554 PERFECT. 1227 01:01:17,557 --> 01:01:20,059 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 1228 01:01:20,059 --> 01:01:22,061 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, WAIT! 1229 01:01:22,061 --> 01:01:24,063 LET'S JUST GO BACK THE WAY WE CAME 1230 01:01:24,063 --> 01:01:26,566 AND GO THROUGH HER FRONT DOOR. 1231 01:01:27,066 --> 01:01:31,571 DULL! BORING! OLD HAT! 1232 01:01:31,571 --> 01:01:33,573 STONE, THE CARDINAL RULE-- 1233 01:01:33,573 --> 01:01:35,575 THEY ALWAYS LOVE A BIG ENTRANCE. 1234 01:01:36,075 --> 01:01:37,577 I ASSURE YOU, IT'S-- 1235 01:01:43,082 --> 01:01:46,586 DOES ANYBODY DIE IN THESE MOVIES? 1236 01:01:46,586 --> 01:01:48,588 DIE? 1237 01:01:48,588 --> 01:01:50,089 OF COURSE NOT. 1238 01:01:50,089 --> 01:01:53,092 IT'S JUST...FUN! 1239 01:01:53,092 --> 01:01:54,093 FUN? 1240 01:01:54,093 --> 01:01:55,094 FUN! 1241 01:01:55,094 --> 01:01:58,097 HE THINKS THIS IS FUN. 1242 01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:02,602 [CRYING] 1243 01:02:02,602 --> 01:02:04,604 I'M GOING DOWN NOW. 1244 01:02:06,105 --> 01:02:08,608 WHEN I ARRIVE, I SHALL HOLD THE ROPE TAUT, 1245 01:02:08,608 --> 01:02:10,610 AND YOU CAN JUST SHIMMY DOWN. 1246 01:02:10,610 --> 01:02:13,613 I'M NOT SHIMMYING DOWN ANYTHING. 1247 01:02:13,613 --> 01:02:16,115 IT'S TOO DANGEROUS! 1248 01:02:16,115 --> 01:02:17,617 NONSENSE! 1249 01:02:17,617 --> 01:02:21,120 NOT WHEN YOU'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED BY NYBLACK. 1250 01:02:23,623 --> 01:02:25,625 WHO THE HELL IS NYBLACK? 1251 01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:29,629 NYBLACK IS MY SHERPA GUIDE FROM THE HIMALAYAS. 1252 01:02:29,629 --> 01:02:32,131 THE HIMALAYAS? THE HIMALAYAS! 1253 01:02:32,131 --> 01:02:33,633 LOOK! 1254 01:02:33,633 --> 01:02:35,134 THERE'S THE DOOR! 1255 01:02:35,134 --> 01:02:38,137 COME ON! LET'S GO GIVE IT A TRY! 1256 01:02:38,137 --> 01:02:39,138 AH... 1257 01:02:39,138 --> 01:02:40,640 IT'S OPEN! 1258 01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:42,141 AAH! 1259 01:02:42,642 --> 01:02:43,643 AAH! 1260 01:02:44,644 --> 01:02:46,145 WHOO! 1261 01:02:46,145 --> 01:02:47,647 AAH! 1262 01:02:48,147 --> 01:02:51,651 AAH! OH! OHHH! 1263 01:02:51,651 --> 01:02:54,654 OH! I KILLED HIM! 1264 01:02:54,654 --> 01:02:57,156 I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF HIM, 1265 01:02:57,156 --> 01:02:58,658 AND I KILLED HIM! 1266 01:02:58,658 --> 01:03:02,662 OHHH! OH, GOD! OHHH! 1267 01:03:05,164 --> 01:03:07,166 THE BOND ISSUE WAS A FRAUD. 1268 01:03:07,166 --> 01:03:08,668 THE COMPANY WENT BANKRUPT. 1269 01:03:08,668 --> 01:03:11,170 THEY LOOKED SOLID, BUT THEY WENT BELLY UP. 1270 01:03:11,671 --> 01:03:14,173 EXCUSE ME. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT FILM... 1271 01:03:14,173 --> 01:03:15,174 DEFENDER OF THE CROWN? 1272 01:03:15,675 --> 01:03:16,676 JUST LIKE THAT! 1273 01:03:16,676 --> 01:03:18,177 THE FILM!DEFENDER OF THE CROWN-- 1274 01:03:18,177 --> 01:03:19,178 HAVE YOU SEEN IT? 1275 01:03:19,178 --> 01:03:20,680 STARRING--WHAT'S THAT GUY'S NAME? 1276 01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:22,181 ALAN, UH... 1277 01:03:24,183 --> 01:03:25,184 ALAN, UH... 1278 01:03:25,685 --> 01:03:26,686 SWANN! 1279 01:03:26,686 --> 01:03:27,687 YEAH, ALAN SWANN! 1280 01:03:27,687 --> 01:03:30,690 I THINK ALAN SWANN'S BENEATH US. 1281 01:03:30,690 --> 01:03:32,692 OF COURSE HE'S BENEATH US. HE'S AN ACTOR. 1282 01:03:32,692 --> 01:03:34,193 NO. I MEAN, I THINK ALAN SWANN'S BENEATH US 1283 01:03:34,193 --> 01:03:36,195 RIGHT NOW! LOOK! 1284 01:03:38,197 --> 01:03:39,699 HARRY, GET THE HELL OUT HERE! 1285 01:03:39,699 --> 01:03:42,702 ALAN SWANN IS HANGING FROM SOMETHING 1286 01:03:42,702 --> 01:03:43,703 FROM THE ROOF! 1287 01:03:43,703 --> 01:03:44,704 PULL! 1288 01:03:44,704 --> 01:03:45,705 PULL HIM UP. 1289 01:03:45,705 --> 01:03:46,706 PULL! 1290 01:03:46,706 --> 01:03:49,208 THAT'S IT. HERE WE GO. GOOD. 1291 01:03:49,208 --> 01:03:51,711 GOOD EVENING. DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT? 1292 01:03:51,711 --> 01:03:54,213 HELP ME! HELP ME! 1293 01:03:54,714 --> 01:03:56,215 TERRACE? 1294 01:04:01,220 --> 01:04:02,722 WELL DONE. 1295 01:04:02,722 --> 01:04:05,224 WE'VE JUST DROPPED IN TO SEE THE DOWNINGS. 1296 01:04:05,224 --> 01:04:07,727 THERE ARE NO DOWNINGS HERE. 1297 01:04:08,227 --> 01:04:09,228 NO DOWNINGS HERE? 1298 01:04:09,729 --> 01:04:11,230 NO. 1299 01:04:12,231 --> 01:04:16,235 THE DOWNINGS ARE DOWNSTAIRS...ON 14. 1300 01:04:16,235 --> 01:04:20,740 CLOSE, STONE, VERY CLOSE. 1301 01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,242 MR. SWANN... 1302 01:04:23,242 --> 01:04:26,746 I THINK I'M GOING TO BE UNWELL. 1303 01:04:26,746 --> 01:04:28,748 STONE, LADIES ARE UNWELL. 1304 01:04:28,748 --> 01:04:30,249 GENTLEMEN VOMIT. 1305 01:04:35,254 --> 01:04:36,756 ALFREDO, YOU NEEDN'T WAIT. 1306 01:04:36,756 --> 01:04:38,257 WE SHAN'T NEED THE CAR ANYMORE. 1307 01:04:38,758 --> 01:04:39,759 WE'RE GOING TO THROW UP IN THE PARK 1308 01:04:39,759 --> 01:04:41,260 AND THEN WALK HOME. 1309 01:04:55,775 --> 01:04:57,276 [VOMITS] 1310 01:05:09,789 --> 01:05:12,291 Stone: MR. SWANN, MAY I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 1311 01:05:12,792 --> 01:05:13,793 MM-HMM. 1312 01:05:14,293 --> 01:05:17,797 BENJY STONE IS NOT WHO HE SEEMS TO BE. 1313 01:05:17,797 --> 01:05:20,299 WHO IS, STONE? WHO IS? 1314 01:05:20,299 --> 01:05:22,802 WELL, I'M NOT EVEN BENJY STONE. 1315 01:05:22,802 --> 01:05:24,303 I'M BENJAMIN STEINBERG. 1316 01:05:24,303 --> 01:05:25,805 I CHANGED MY NAME 1317 01:05:25,805 --> 01:05:28,808 BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T LOOK GOOD ON THE SCREEN. 1318 01:05:28,808 --> 01:05:30,309 I'M A PHONY. 1319 01:05:30,309 --> 01:05:31,811 BECAUSE YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME? 1320 01:05:32,311 --> 01:05:33,312 WHAT'S IN A NAME? 1321 01:05:33,312 --> 01:05:35,815 A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME 1322 01:05:36,315 --> 01:05:38,317 WOULD WITHER AND DIE. 1323 01:05:38,818 --> 01:05:40,820 I'LL GIVE YOU A NAME... 1324 01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:42,321 CLARENCE DUFFY. 1325 01:05:42,822 --> 01:05:43,823 CLARENCE DUFFY? 1326 01:05:44,323 --> 01:05:45,825 WHO'S CLARENCE DUFFY? 1327 01:05:46,325 --> 01:05:48,828 HE'S A YOUNG MAN FROM THE WEST OF SCOTLAND, 1328 01:05:48,828 --> 01:05:50,329 MIDDLE CLASS, IRISH DESCENT, 1329 01:05:50,329 --> 01:05:52,832 WHOSE FATHER WAS A GRAMMAR SCHOOL TEACHER. 1330 01:05:53,332 --> 01:05:55,835 HIS MOTHER LOOKED AFTER HER GARDEN, HER HUSBAND, 1331 01:05:56,335 --> 01:05:57,837 AND THEIR ONLY SON. 1332 01:05:58,337 --> 01:06:00,339 AT THE AGE OF 18, HE JOINS THE NAVY. 1333 01:06:00,339 --> 01:06:03,342 ONE YEAR LATER, HE JUMPS SHIP AT LIVERPOOL, 1334 01:06:03,843 --> 01:06:06,345 HAS NOTIONS OF BECOMING AN ACTOR, 1335 01:06:06,846 --> 01:06:08,848 FINISHES UP IN ENGLISH "B" MOVIES. 1336 01:06:08,848 --> 01:06:10,349 6 MONTHS LATER, 1337 01:06:10,349 --> 01:06:12,351 LOU GOLDMARK OF PARAMOUNT STUDIOS 1338 01:06:12,351 --> 01:06:13,853 ANNOUNCES HIS FIND-- 1339 01:06:13,853 --> 01:06:15,855 A DASHING NEW ENGLISH ACTOR 1340 01:06:15,855 --> 01:06:18,858 TO STAR IN PARAMOUNT'S NEXT BIG ADVENTURE FILM, 1341 01:06:18,858 --> 01:06:20,359 SWORDS OF GLORY. 1342 01:06:20,359 --> 01:06:22,862 CLARENCE DUFFY? 1343 01:06:22,862 --> 01:06:24,363 ONE AND THE SAME. 1344 01:06:24,363 --> 01:06:26,365 THEN YOU'RE NOT ALAN SWANN? 1345 01:06:26,365 --> 01:06:28,367 OH, YES, I AM... 1346 01:06:30,369 --> 01:06:34,373 AND YOU'RE THE ONLY LIVING SOUL WHO KNOWS IT. 1347 01:06:34,874 --> 01:06:37,877 IT DIES WITH ME, CLARENCE. 1348 01:06:41,380 --> 01:06:43,382 AT LEAST YOU'RE AN ACTOR. 1349 01:06:43,382 --> 01:06:45,384 ACTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE UP NAMES. 1350 01:06:45,384 --> 01:06:47,887 IT'S NOT JUST MAKING UP A NAME, STONEBERG. 1351 01:06:47,887 --> 01:06:50,389 THE STUDIO MADE UP AN ENTIRE LIFE FOR ME, 1352 01:06:50,389 --> 01:06:51,891 AND I LET THEM DO IT, 1353 01:06:51,891 --> 01:06:53,392 AND NOW I CAN'T TELL WHERE THE BOGUS ONE ENDS 1354 01:06:53,392 --> 01:06:54,894 AND THE REAL ONE BEGINS. 1355 01:06:54,894 --> 01:06:57,396 NOTHING ABOUT ME IS WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE-- 1356 01:06:57,396 --> 01:06:59,398 EVEN THE REASON I'M DOING 1357 01:06:59,398 --> 01:07:00,900 YOURCOMEDY CAVALCADEPROGRAM. 1358 01:07:00,900 --> 01:07:02,401 IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WANTED TO. 1359 01:07:02,401 --> 01:07:04,403 IT'S A DEAL I MADE WITH MY NEW PARTNER, 1360 01:07:04,403 --> 01:07:06,405 THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE. 1361 01:07:06,405 --> 01:07:09,408 IF I DO THE SHOW AND GIVE THEM HALF THE PROCEEDS, 1362 01:07:09,408 --> 01:07:11,911 THEY PROMISE NOT TO THROW ME OUT OF THE COUNTRY. 1363 01:07:11,911 --> 01:07:14,413 WELL, THAT DIES WITH ME, TOO, DUFF. 1364 01:07:14,413 --> 01:07:16,415 TONIGHT YOUR MOTHER SAID, "SHAME ON YOU," 1365 01:07:16,415 --> 01:07:17,917 AND SHE WAS RIGHT. 1366 01:07:17,917 --> 01:07:19,919 I'M FED UP WITH PEOPLE LETTING ME 1367 01:07:19,919 --> 01:07:21,921 GET AWAY WITH THINGS, AND EVERYBODY DOES-- 1368 01:07:21,921 --> 01:07:23,923 MY FRIENDS, MY AGENT, MY MANAGER, 1369 01:07:23,923 --> 01:07:24,924 MY DOCTORS, MY FORMER WIVES, 1370 01:07:25,424 --> 01:07:26,425 EVEN MY DAUGHTER! 1371 01:07:29,428 --> 01:07:31,931 HAVEN'T WE WALKED ENOUGH FOR ONE NIGHT? 1372 01:07:33,432 --> 01:07:35,935 NO. NO, NO, NO! 1373 01:07:35,935 --> 01:07:37,937 NO! OHH. 1374 01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:42,441 [WHINNIES] 1375 01:07:42,441 --> 01:07:44,443 YOU CAN GET 30 YEARS FOR THIS! 1376 01:07:58,457 --> 01:08:00,459 HEY! HEY! 1377 01:08:33,492 --> 01:08:35,494 [WHINNIES] 1378 01:08:48,507 --> 01:08:50,009 NO! 1379 01:09:46,065 --> 01:09:48,067 WAIT A MINUTE! 1380 01:09:48,067 --> 01:09:50,569 TESS...WHO'S TESS? 1381 01:09:50,569 --> 01:09:52,571 TESS IS HIS DAUGHTER. 1382 01:09:52,571 --> 01:09:55,074 TESS IS HIS DAUGHTER IN CONNECTICUT! 1383 01:09:55,074 --> 01:09:56,575 BETTER BE. 1384 01:09:56,575 --> 01:09:58,577 HE WENT TO CONNECTICUT ON THE DAY OF THE SHOW! 1385 01:09:58,577 --> 01:10:00,579 THAT BASTARD WENT TO CONNECTICUT! 1386 01:10:00,579 --> 01:10:02,581 HE'S IN ANOTHER GODDAMN STATE! 1387 01:10:02,581 --> 01:10:05,084 I'VE GOT TO GO DOWN TO THE SHOW AND TELL LEO 1388 01:10:05,084 --> 01:10:07,086 SO HE CAN FIRE ME. 1389 01:10:07,086 --> 01:10:08,587 I'M A DEAD MAN. 1390 01:10:11,090 --> 01:10:14,593 I CAN'T GO LIKE THIS. I HAVE TO GET DRESSED. 1391 01:10:23,602 --> 01:10:26,105 DON'T FORGET YOUR SWEATER. 1392 01:11:11,650 --> 01:11:13,652 TAKE ME BACK. 1393 01:11:33,172 --> 01:11:34,173 GREAT! AIR DAY, 1394 01:11:34,173 --> 01:11:36,675 AND OUR GUEST STAR IS NO-SHOW. 1395 01:11:37,176 --> 01:11:38,177 HEY, LEO! 1396 01:11:38,677 --> 01:11:40,679 HE'S ON THE COVER OF TV GUIDETHIS WEEK. 1397 01:11:40,679 --> 01:11:42,181 King: LEO! 1398 01:11:44,183 --> 01:11:45,684 LEO! 1399 01:11:48,687 --> 01:11:50,189 WHY IS THIS SKETCH IN HERE? 1400 01:11:50,189 --> 01:11:51,190 WE DID THIS SKETCH LAST WEEK, 1401 01:11:51,690 --> 01:11:53,192 BUT IT'S RIGHT IN HERE! RIGHT IN MY SCRIPT! 1402 01:11:53,692 --> 01:11:55,694 NOW, WHY, LEO? WHY? WHY IS IT IN MY SCRIPT? 1403 01:11:56,195 --> 01:11:58,197 THAT IS LAST WEEK'S SCRIPT. 1404 01:12:00,199 --> 01:12:02,201 OH. THAT'S WHY IT'S IN HERE. 1405 01:12:02,701 --> 01:12:05,204 AND NOW YOU'LL FIND THIS WEEK'S SCRIPT 1406 01:12:05,704 --> 01:12:07,206 IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM, STAN. 1407 01:12:07,706 --> 01:12:08,707 THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD, LEO. 1408 01:12:09,208 --> 01:12:10,209 OK. 1409 01:12:11,710 --> 01:12:13,212 THEY'RE NOT SERVING TONGUE AT LUNCH TODAY, 1410 01:12:13,712 --> 01:12:14,713 ARE THEY, LEO? 1411 01:12:14,713 --> 01:12:16,215 NO TONGUE ON SHOW DAY. 1412 01:12:16,215 --> 01:12:18,217 TWICE THEY SERVED TONGUE ON SHOW DAY, 1413 01:12:18,217 --> 01:12:19,718 TWICE THE OPENING SKETCH DIED. 1414 01:12:20,219 --> 01:12:22,221 NO TONGUE! GET IT? NO TONGUE! 1415 01:12:22,221 --> 01:12:24,723 TONGUE... 1416 01:12:24,723 --> 01:12:26,725 DEATH! 1417 01:12:35,234 --> 01:12:39,738 Leo: BENJY, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING SWANN. 1418 01:12:39,738 --> 01:12:41,740 I WAS. I EVEN STAYED IN HIS SUITE LAST NIGHT, 1419 01:12:41,740 --> 01:12:44,243 BUT WHEN I WOKE UP TODAY, HE WAS GONE. 1420 01:12:44,243 --> 01:12:46,245 HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO SEE TESS. 1421 01:12:46,245 --> 01:12:47,746 IRISH DAME. FIGURES-- 1422 01:12:47,746 --> 01:12:49,248 THEY LOVE THEIR BOOZE. 1423 01:12:49,248 --> 01:12:50,249 Alfie: SHE'S 12. 1424 01:12:50,749 --> 01:12:51,750 FINE. NOW WE CAN THROW IN STATUTORY RAPE. 1425 01:12:51,750 --> 01:12:53,752 TESS HAPPENS TO BE HIS DAUGHTER. 1426 01:12:53,752 --> 01:12:55,254 ALFIE, WHERE IS HE? 1427 01:12:55,754 --> 01:12:56,755 HE'S IN HIS DRESSING ROOM. 1428 01:12:56,755 --> 01:12:57,756 DRUNK. 1429 01:12:57,756 --> 01:12:58,757 HE'S TAKING A NAP. 1430 01:12:59,258 --> 01:13:00,259 I'M GOING TO SEE WHAT KIND OF A NAP HE'S TAKING. 1431 01:13:00,759 --> 01:13:01,260 I DON'T THINK SO. 1432 01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:02,761 YEAH, BETTER LET HIM REST. 1433 01:13:02,761 --> 01:13:05,264 HE'S GOT TO BE READY FOR A RUN-THROUGH IN AN HOUR. 1434 01:13:05,264 --> 01:13:06,265 CAN HE MAKE IT? 1435 01:13:06,265 --> 01:13:08,267 HE'LL MAKE IT. 1436 01:13:09,768 --> 01:13:12,271 LOOK, I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, 1437 01:13:12,271 --> 01:13:14,273 BUT COULD YOU TELL HIM TO GO EASY ON HIM? 1438 01:13:14,773 --> 01:13:16,275 I MEAN, IT AIN'T BEEN HIS BEST DAY. 1439 01:13:16,775 --> 01:13:17,776 OK. 1440 01:13:20,279 --> 01:13:20,779 IS HE OK? 1441 01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:22,281 HE'S ALL RIGHT. 1442 01:13:22,281 --> 01:13:23,782 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER-- 1443 01:13:23,782 --> 01:13:25,284 12 AND ALREADY A HEARTBREAKER. 1444 01:13:25,784 --> 01:13:27,286 WHAT DID HE SAY TO HER? 1445 01:13:27,286 --> 01:13:28,287 NEVER GOT OUT OF THE CAR, 1446 01:13:28,787 --> 01:13:31,790 AND DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD FOR 86.4 MILES. 1447 01:13:32,291 --> 01:13:33,292 I CLOCKED IT. 1448 01:13:33,292 --> 01:13:34,793 I DIDN'T LOOK IN THE REARVIEW, NEITHER. 1449 01:13:35,294 --> 01:13:36,295 I GIVE HIM HIS PRIVACY. 1450 01:13:49,141 --> 01:13:51,143 WE OPEN ON A TIGHT 2 ON KING AND CUBBY, 1451 01:13:51,643 --> 01:13:53,145 AND THEN WE WIND OUT. 1452 01:13:53,645 --> 01:13:55,147 WE'RE SET TO OPEN THE HOUSE. 1453 01:13:55,147 --> 01:13:58,650 15 MINUTES, EVERYONE. 15 MINUTES. 1454 01:14:05,157 --> 01:14:06,658 HOW YOU DOING, ALAN? 1455 01:14:06,658 --> 01:14:08,660 I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY ABOUT A THING. 1456 01:14:08,660 --> 01:14:10,162 BAD REHEARSAL, GOOD SHOW. 1457 01:14:10,162 --> 01:14:12,664 WE GOT A GREAT CAST, WE GOT A GREAT CREW, 1458 01:14:12,664 --> 01:14:13,665 AND IT ALWAYS WORKS. 1459 01:14:13,665 --> 01:14:16,168 JUST REMEMBER, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN, RIGHT? 1460 01:14:16,168 --> 01:14:18,170 AND YOU-- YOU LOOK GREAT! 1461 01:14:18,170 --> 01:14:20,672 WHAT'S HE WEARING THIS FOR? 1462 01:14:20,672 --> 01:14:22,174 THE MUSKETEER SKETCH. 1463 01:14:22,674 --> 01:14:24,676 YOU IN THE RIGHT OUTFIT? 1464 01:14:24,676 --> 01:14:26,178 I AM. 1465 01:14:26,178 --> 01:14:28,180 THEN WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS? 1466 01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:30,682 UH... I DON'T KNOW. 1467 01:14:30,682 --> 01:14:32,684 ALL RIGHT, WHICH SKETCH IS FIRST? 1468 01:14:33,185 --> 01:14:36,188 THE FIRST SKETCH THAT I'M IN IS THE MUSKETEER SKETCH. 1469 01:14:36,188 --> 01:14:38,690 I'M IN THAT, TOO. 1470 01:14:40,692 --> 01:14:42,194 OK. 1471 01:14:42,194 --> 01:14:44,696 I'M IN THE WRONG OUTFIT, 1472 01:14:44,696 --> 01:14:47,199 AND LOOK HOW I FIND OUT. 1473 01:14:47,199 --> 01:14:50,202 I GOT TO FIND OUT FROM THIS GUY. 1474 01:14:51,703 --> 01:14:53,205 WHO ARE THE GENIUSES 1475 01:14:53,205 --> 01:14:54,706 WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME 1476 01:14:54,706 --> 01:14:56,708 WHICH SKETCH COMES FIRST ON MY SHOW 1477 01:14:56,708 --> 01:14:58,710 AND WHICH OUTFIT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN, HUH? 1478 01:14:58,710 --> 01:14:59,711 WHERE ARE THEY? 1479 01:14:59,711 --> 01:15:02,714 SOMEBODY TELL ME WHICH SKETCH COMES FIRST! 1480 01:15:02,714 --> 01:15:06,218 WARDROBE! WARDROBE! NOW! 1481 01:15:06,218 --> 01:15:07,719 LISTEN TO THIS. 1482 01:15:07,719 --> 01:15:10,722 HE THINKS HE'S IN THE WRONG COSTUME. 1483 01:15:10,722 --> 01:15:13,725 EVERY WEEK, SAME THING. HE'S SO CRAZY! 1484 01:15:24,236 --> 01:15:26,738 OH, GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME WITH MY COSTUME! 1485 01:15:27,239 --> 01:15:28,240 TAKE IT OFF! 1486 01:15:28,740 --> 01:15:30,242 NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! 1487 01:15:30,242 --> 01:15:32,744 THE HIJACK SKETCH COMES FIRST! 1488 01:15:32,744 --> 01:15:34,246 WHICH ONE? 1489 01:15:34,246 --> 01:15:35,747 THE HIJACK SKETCH! 1490 01:15:37,249 --> 01:15:39,251 IT COMES FIRST! 1491 01:15:40,252 --> 01:15:43,755 I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT, LEO. 1492 01:15:43,755 --> 01:15:45,757 DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, PAL. 1493 01:15:45,757 --> 01:15:47,259 I KNEW IT. 1494 01:16:04,276 --> 01:16:05,777 GOOD. 1495 01:16:10,282 --> 01:16:12,284 GOOD. 1496 01:16:17,289 --> 01:16:18,290 CALIFORNIA? 1497 01:16:18,290 --> 01:16:21,293 YOU CAN'T WRITE COMEDY IN CALIFORNIA. 1498 01:16:21,293 --> 01:16:22,794 IT'S NOT DEPRESSING ENOUGH. 1499 01:16:22,794 --> 01:16:25,297 YOU LOOK GREAT. HOW DO YOU FEEL? 1500 01:16:25,297 --> 01:16:27,299 I FEEL SURPRISINGLY WELL, STONE. 1501 01:16:27,299 --> 01:16:28,300 THANK YOU. 1502 01:16:28,300 --> 01:16:30,302 SO WELL THAT I'M GOING TO MAKE A PREDICTION. 1503 01:16:30,302 --> 01:16:32,804 USUALLY IT TAKES ME 2 OR 3 TAKES JUST TO WARM UP, 1504 01:16:32,804 --> 01:16:33,805 BUT TONIGHT, I PREDICT 1505 01:16:33,805 --> 01:16:35,807 WE'LL GET IT ON THE FIRST TAKE. 1506 01:16:35,807 --> 01:16:37,809 WE ALWAYS GET IT ON THE FIRST TAKE. WE HAVE TO. 1507 01:16:38,310 --> 01:16:39,311 WE DO? 1508 01:16:39,311 --> 01:16:41,313 SURE. THIS IS LIVE TELEVISION. 1509 01:16:41,313 --> 01:16:42,814 LIVE? 1510 01:16:44,816 --> 01:16:46,818 LIVE. 1511 01:16:46,818 --> 01:16:48,820 WHAT DOES LIVE MEAN? 1512 01:16:48,820 --> 01:16:50,822 IT MEANS THAT THE EXACT MOMENT 1513 01:16:50,822 --> 01:16:53,325 YOU'RE CAVORTING AND LEAPING AROUND THAT STAGE OVER THERE, 1514 01:16:53,325 --> 01:16:56,828 20 MILLION PEOPLE ARE SEEING IT. 1515 01:16:56,828 --> 01:16:58,830 WAIT A MINUTE. 1516 01:16:58,830 --> 01:17:00,332 WAIT A MINUTE! 1517 01:17:00,332 --> 01:17:02,334 MR. SWANN, YOU'RE WHITE. 1518 01:17:02,334 --> 01:17:05,337 YOU MEAN, IT ALL GOES INTO THE CAMERA LENS 1519 01:17:05,337 --> 01:17:08,340 AND THEN JUST SPILLS OUT INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES? 1520 01:17:08,340 --> 01:17:09,341 YEAH. 1521 01:17:09,341 --> 01:17:10,842 WHY IS IT NOBODY HAD THE GOODNESS 1522 01:17:10,842 --> 01:17:12,344 TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BEFORE? 1523 01:17:12,344 --> 01:17:13,845 IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 1524 01:17:13,845 --> 01:17:15,347 OUR AUDIENCES ARE GREAT. 1525 01:17:15,347 --> 01:17:16,848 AUDIENCE? WHAT AUDIENCE? 1526 01:17:16,848 --> 01:17:18,350 YOU KNEW THERE WAS AN AUDIENCE. 1527 01:17:18,350 --> 01:17:20,352 WHAT DID YOU THINK THOSE SEATS WERE FOR? 1528 01:17:20,352 --> 01:17:22,354 I HAVEN'T PERFORMED IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE FOR 28 YEARS! 1529 01:17:22,854 --> 01:17:25,357 AUDIENCE? 1530 01:17:25,357 --> 01:17:27,859 I PLAYED A BUTLER. 1531 01:17:27,859 --> 01:17:29,861 I HAD ONE LINE! 1532 01:17:31,363 --> 01:17:32,864 I FORGOT IT. 1533 01:17:32,864 --> 01:17:35,367 DON'T WORRY. THIS IS GOING TO BE EASY. 1534 01:17:35,367 --> 01:17:36,868 FOR YOU MAYBE, NOT FOR ME. 1535 01:17:36,868 --> 01:17:39,371 I'M NOT AN ACTOR, I'M A MOVIE STAR! 1536 01:17:42,374 --> 01:17:44,376 5 MINUTES TO AIR. 1537 01:17:44,376 --> 01:17:45,877 READY FOR THE BOSS HIJACK SKETCH. 1538 01:17:45,877 --> 01:17:47,379 OH, SHUT UP! 1539 01:17:47,879 --> 01:17:49,381 YOU CAN DO IT! 1540 01:17:49,381 --> 01:17:51,883 I NEED TIME TO THINK! 1541 01:17:53,385 --> 01:17:55,387 I NEED TIME TO THINK. 1542 01:17:55,387 --> 01:17:56,888 OH, HOLY MOTHER. 1543 01:17:56,888 --> 01:17:58,890 I NEED TIME TO THINK! 1544 01:17:58,890 --> 01:18:00,392 IS THAT THINK OR DRINK? 1545 01:18:00,392 --> 01:18:02,394 YES! 1546 01:18:02,394 --> 01:18:04,396 WELL! 1547 01:18:07,899 --> 01:18:09,901 HE'S GOT THE JITTERS. 1548 01:18:09,901 --> 01:18:11,903 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SCANT SECOND AGO, 1549 01:18:11,903 --> 01:18:14,406 ALAN SWANN HAD A FULL-FLEDGED ANXIETY ATTACK, 1550 01:18:14,406 --> 01:18:16,408 AN INCH AWAY FROM A COMPLETE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, 1551 01:18:16,408 --> 01:18:20,912 AND THIS ONE HAS THE NERVE TO DESCRIBE IT AS THE JITTERS! 1552 01:18:20,912 --> 01:18:22,414 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1553 01:18:22,414 --> 01:18:23,915 DRINKING AND LEAVING! 1554 01:18:25,417 --> 01:18:27,919 THE MUSKETEER SKETCH IS ON AFTER THE HIJACK SKETCH. 1555 01:18:27,919 --> 01:18:29,421 I'M NOT DOING THE MUSCATEL SKETCH. 1556 01:18:29,421 --> 01:18:30,422 THEMUSKETEER SKETCH! 1557 01:18:30,422 --> 01:18:31,423 I'M NOT DOING EITHER! 1558 01:18:45,937 --> 01:18:47,939 WASN'T THAT ALAN SWANN LEAVING? 1559 01:18:47,939 --> 01:18:50,942 OBVIOUSLY HE'S STILL IN THE THROES OF THE JITTERS! 1560 01:18:50,942 --> 01:18:52,444 GET OUT OF MY WAY, SY. 1561 01:18:52,444 --> 01:18:54,946 NOT UNTIL YOU PAY UP. 1562 01:18:54,946 --> 01:18:56,448 BENJY, WHAT HAPPENED? 1563 01:18:56,448 --> 01:18:58,450 SWANN'S GONE. CAN'T SPEAK. TALK LATER! 1564 01:18:58,450 --> 01:18:59,951 YOU LITTLE SMART-ASS, 1565 01:18:59,951 --> 01:19:01,453 SON OF A BITCH BASTARD! 1566 01:19:01,453 --> 01:19:02,954 YOU'RE THROUGH HERE! 1567 01:19:02,954 --> 01:19:04,956 I'M TELLING KING! 1568 01:19:04,956 --> 01:19:06,458 SY! 1569 01:19:07,959 --> 01:19:09,461 WHERE'S K.C.? 1570 01:19:11,463 --> 01:19:13,465 EVERYTHING OK? 1571 01:19:13,465 --> 01:19:14,966 GOOD. 1572 01:19:15,467 --> 01:19:16,468 THANK YOU, HARMONAIRES, THANK YOU! 1573 01:19:16,968 --> 01:19:18,970 THIS IS PLACES, PEOPLE! 1574 01:19:18,970 --> 01:19:21,473 COME ON, PEOPLE! LET'S HURRY UP! 1575 01:19:21,473 --> 01:19:22,974 DANCERS, OPENING DANCERS, 1576 01:19:22,974 --> 01:19:25,477 YOU SHOULD BE IN YOUR STARTING PLACES! 1577 01:19:25,477 --> 01:19:26,478 HURRY ALONG! 1578 01:19:26,478 --> 01:19:28,480 WHO ARE YOU? 1579 01:19:28,480 --> 01:19:30,482 OH, YEAH, PHIL SOMEBODY, RIGHT? 1580 01:19:30,482 --> 01:19:32,484 I KNOW YOU. GO AHEAD. 1581 01:19:32,484 --> 01:19:34,986 DOING A GOOD JOB, PHIL. 1582 01:19:34,986 --> 01:19:35,987 OH! 1583 01:19:36,488 --> 01:19:38,990 SY! SY, I'M SORRY! 1584 01:19:38,990 --> 01:19:40,492 HELP! HELP! 1585 01:19:40,492 --> 01:19:42,994 HELP. WE NEED SOME HELP HERE. 1586 01:19:42,994 --> 01:19:45,997 SY, YOU SHOULDN'T SNEAK UP ON A GUY LIKE THAT. 1587 01:19:45,997 --> 01:19:48,500 I KNOW YOU CAN'T HEAR ME, PAL, 1588 01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:50,001 BUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP, 1589 01:19:50,001 --> 01:19:52,504 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A NICE RAISE. 1590 01:19:52,504 --> 01:19:54,506 GET HIM SOME FIRST AID. 1591 01:19:54,506 --> 01:19:56,007 WHAT A PUTZ. 1592 01:19:57,509 --> 01:19:59,511 TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE. 1593 01:20:16,361 --> 01:20:17,863 ALFREDO! 1594 01:20:18,363 --> 01:20:19,364 ALFREDO. 1595 01:20:19,865 --> 01:20:21,867 ALFREDO... 1596 01:20:22,367 --> 01:20:23,869 YOU'RE NOT ALFREDO. 1597 01:20:23,869 --> 01:20:25,370 MR. SWANN? 1598 01:20:25,871 --> 01:20:26,872 OH, MY GOD, IT'S STONEBERGER. 1599 01:20:27,372 --> 01:20:28,373 WILL YOU EVER LET ME ALONE? 1600 01:20:28,874 --> 01:20:30,375 AS SOON AS YOU FINISH THE SHOW. 1601 01:20:30,876 --> 01:20:31,877 I'M NOT DOING THE SHOW. 1602 01:20:32,377 --> 01:20:33,378 I WANT TO GO TO THE WALDORF! 1603 01:20:33,879 --> 01:20:34,880 YOU HAVE TO DO THE SHOW. 1604 01:20:35,380 --> 01:20:36,381 IF YOU DON'T, THEY'LL DEPORT YOU. 1605 01:20:36,882 --> 01:20:38,383 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 1606 01:20:39,384 --> 01:20:41,386 THAT'S A SAD SIGHT. 1607 01:20:41,887 --> 01:20:43,388 YOU'RE A SADDER SIGHT. 1608 01:20:43,388 --> 01:20:45,390 ALL YOU END UP DOING 1609 01:20:45,390 --> 01:20:48,393 IS MAKING ANYONE WHO CARES FOR YOU UNHAPPY. 1610 01:20:48,393 --> 01:20:50,395 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ME, STONEBERG, 1611 01:20:50,395 --> 01:20:52,397 "YOU CAN DEPEND ON ALAN SWANN. 1612 01:20:52,397 --> 01:20:54,399 HE WILL ALWAYS LET YOU DOWN." 1613 01:20:54,399 --> 01:20:55,901 DID YOU TELL TESS THAT? 1614 01:20:55,901 --> 01:20:56,902 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 1615 01:20:56,902 --> 01:20:59,905 YOU COULDN'T GET OUT OF THE CAR. 1616 01:21:02,407 --> 01:21:04,910 ALFIE, TAKE THIS BUM TO THE WALDORF. 1617 01:21:17,422 --> 01:21:18,924 Director: LADIES, LADIES, 1618 01:21:18,924 --> 01:21:20,926 LET'S GO! LET'S GO! 1619 01:21:20,926 --> 01:21:24,429 NANCY, YOU HAVE A NICE SHOW. 1620 01:21:25,931 --> 01:21:28,433 SY, DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO SNEAK UP ON-- 1621 01:21:28,433 --> 01:21:30,435 MR. ROJECK WANTED YOU TO HAVE THAT. 1622 01:21:30,435 --> 01:21:31,937 AND THAT. 1623 01:21:35,440 --> 01:21:37,943 UH! UH! 1624 01:21:46,952 --> 01:21:48,453 WE HAVE 10 SECONDS TO GO, 1625 01:21:48,453 --> 01:21:50,455 JUST IN CASE ANYBODY HAS TO. 1626 01:21:51,957 --> 01:21:52,958 9... 1627 01:21:52,958 --> 01:21:53,959 8... 1628 01:21:53,959 --> 01:21:54,960 7... 1629 01:21:54,960 --> 01:21:55,961 6... 1630 01:21:55,961 --> 01:21:57,963 THIS IS NBC, 1631 01:21:57,963 --> 01:21:59,464 THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY. 1632 01:21:59,464 --> 01:22:00,465 CUE MUSIC, READY ONE. 1633 01:22:00,465 --> 01:22:01,466 UP ON ONE. 1634 01:22:01,466 --> 01:22:02,968 READY 2 AND ANNOUNCE. 2! 1635 01:22:03,468 --> 01:22:05,971 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00. 1636 01:22:05,971 --> 01:22:07,973 THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY PRESENTS 1637 01:22:07,973 --> 01:22:09,975 THE COMEDY CAVALCADE... 1638 01:22:09,975 --> 01:22:11,476 READY 2. 1639 01:22:11,476 --> 01:22:12,477 STARRING KING KAISER 1640 01:22:12,477 --> 01:22:16,481 WITH HIS SPECIAL GUEST STAR ALAN SWANN! 1641 01:22:19,484 --> 01:22:20,986 NOW LET'S ROLL FILM! 1642 01:22:23,488 --> 01:22:26,992 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR. 1643 01:22:26,992 --> 01:22:28,493 TAKE IT! 1644 01:22:28,493 --> 01:22:30,495 WHEN YOU EAT LUNCH TOO QUICKLY, 1645 01:22:30,495 --> 01:22:32,998 AS THIS FELLOW HAS, THEN YOU'RE APT TO BE CRANKY 1646 01:22:32,998 --> 01:22:35,000 BECAUSE YOUR STOMACH FEELS BAD. 1647 01:22:39,004 --> 01:22:41,006 STONE. 1648 01:22:42,507 --> 01:22:45,010 I'M AFRAID. 1649 01:22:46,011 --> 01:22:47,512 I'M AFRAID. 1650 01:22:47,512 --> 01:22:50,515 THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T GET OUT OF THE CAR 1651 01:22:50,515 --> 01:22:53,018 TO SEE MY TESS, MY CHILD. 1652 01:22:53,518 --> 01:22:56,021 ALAN SWANN AFRAID? 1653 01:22:56,021 --> 01:22:57,522 THE DEFENDER OF THE CROWN, 1654 01:22:57,522 --> 01:22:59,024 CAPTAIN FROM TORTUGA, 1655 01:22:59,024 --> 01:23:01,026 THE LAST KNIGHT OF THE ROUND TABLE? 1656 01:23:01,026 --> 01:23:04,029 THOSE ARE MOVIES, DAMN YOU! 1657 01:23:04,029 --> 01:23:06,031 LOOK AT ME! 1658 01:23:06,031 --> 01:23:07,532 I'M FLESH AND BLOOD! 1659 01:23:07,532 --> 01:23:10,035 LIFE-SIZE, NO LARGER! 1660 01:23:10,035 --> 01:23:12,537 I'M NOT THAT SILLY GODDAMNED HERO! 1661 01:23:12,537 --> 01:23:14,039 I NEVER WAS! 1662 01:23:14,039 --> 01:23:15,540 TO ME YOU WERE. 1663 01:23:15,540 --> 01:23:17,042 WHOEVER YOU WERE IN THOSE MOVIES, 1664 01:23:17,042 --> 01:23:20,545 THOSE SILLY GODDAMNED HEROES MEANT A LOT TO ME! 1665 01:23:21,046 --> 01:23:24,549 WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF IT WAS AN ILLUSION? 1666 01:23:24,549 --> 01:23:26,051 IT WORKED! 1667 01:23:26,051 --> 01:23:29,554 SO DON'T TELL ME THIS IS YOU "LIFE-SIZE!" 1668 01:23:29,554 --> 01:23:32,557 I CAN'T USE YOU LIFE-SIZE. 1669 01:23:32,557 --> 01:23:36,561 I NEED ALAN SWANNS AS BIG AS I CAN GET THEM! 1670 01:23:36,561 --> 01:23:39,564 AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 1671 01:23:39,564 --> 01:23:41,566 YOU COULDN'T HAVE CONVINCED ME THE WAY YOU DID 1672 01:23:41,566 --> 01:23:44,569 UNLESS SOMEWHERE IN YOU YOU HAD THAT COURAGE! 1673 01:23:44,569 --> 01:23:47,072 NOBODY'S THAT GOOD AN ACTOR! 1674 01:23:47,072 --> 01:23:50,575 YOUARETHAT SILLY GODDAMNED HERO! 1675 01:23:54,079 --> 01:23:56,581 QUIET DOWN BACK HERE! WE'RE ON THE AIR! 1676 01:23:56,581 --> 01:23:59,084 COME BACK! GO GET SOME HELP! 1677 01:23:59,084 --> 01:24:00,585 YOU'RE FIRED! 1678 01:24:04,089 --> 01:24:06,591 WHO OWNS THE GRAY '51 DeSOTO? 1679 01:24:06,591 --> 01:24:08,093 THE NEW GUY HARRY. 1680 01:24:08,093 --> 01:24:11,096 YOU'RE PARKED IN BOSS HIJACK'S SPOT. BETTER MOVE. 1681 01:24:15,100 --> 01:24:17,102 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 1682 01:24:22,607 --> 01:24:25,610 YOU'RE LUCKY WE'RE ON THE SECOND FLOOR. 1683 01:24:25,610 --> 01:24:28,113 IT SLOWED HIM DOWN. 1684 01:24:31,116 --> 01:24:35,120 YOU'RE VERY LUCKY WE'RE ON THE SECOND FLOOR. 1685 01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:37,622 IT REALLY SLOWED HIM DOWN. 1686 01:24:37,622 --> 01:24:39,124 ONE. WHERE'S KING? 1687 01:24:39,124 --> 01:24:41,126 CUE KING. CUE HIM. 1688 01:24:41,126 --> 01:24:42,627 WELL, WHAT'S IT GOING TO DO? 1689 01:24:42,627 --> 01:24:44,629 GOING TO KIND OF... 1690 01:24:44,629 --> 01:24:45,630 SLOW HIM DOWN. 1691 01:24:45,630 --> 01:24:47,132 SLOW HIM DOWN. 1692 01:24:54,639 --> 01:24:56,141 BOSS HI-- 1693 01:25:05,650 --> 01:25:07,652 HOLY JESUS! 1694 01:25:10,655 --> 01:25:12,157 BOSS HIJACK-- 1695 01:25:18,163 --> 01:25:19,164 ONE! 1696 01:25:19,164 --> 01:25:20,665 WHAT IS THIS? WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1697 01:25:20,665 --> 01:25:21,666 3! 1698 01:25:27,172 --> 01:25:29,674 DON'T COME IN HERE. 1699 01:25:35,180 --> 01:25:37,182 HA HA, HEY, HEY! HO! 1700 01:25:37,182 --> 01:25:39,184 BOP! OOH! HEY! 1701 01:25:40,685 --> 01:25:43,188 UH! OOH! HA HA, HEY! OOH! OOH! 1702 01:25:43,188 --> 01:25:45,190 3! 1703 01:25:45,190 --> 01:25:46,691 2! 1704 01:25:47,192 --> 01:25:48,193 ONE! 1705 01:25:48,193 --> 01:25:49,194 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1706 01:25:49,194 --> 01:25:51,196 WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING? 1707 01:25:51,196 --> 01:25:52,697 WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING? 1708 01:26:03,541 --> 01:26:06,044 ROJECK'S MEN ARE KILLING KING! 1709 01:26:15,553 --> 01:26:18,056 WHAT IS SWANN DOING IN THE BALCONY? 1710 01:26:18,056 --> 01:26:20,058 GET A LIGHT ON HIM. GET A LIGHT ON HIM. 1711 01:26:20,058 --> 01:26:21,559 HE'S IN THE BALCONY! 1712 01:26:21,559 --> 01:26:22,560 TAKE 3! GOOD! 1713 01:26:23,061 --> 01:26:25,563 PORTHOLE! 1714 01:26:26,564 --> 01:26:27,565 SWANN? 1715 01:26:51,089 --> 01:26:52,590 WILL YOU HOLD MY SWORD? 1716 01:26:52,590 --> 01:26:54,092 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1717 01:27:12,610 --> 01:27:14,112 AND ONE. 1718 01:27:14,112 --> 01:27:15,613 LOOSEN UP ON 3... 1719 01:27:15,613 --> 01:27:16,614 AND 3! 1720 01:27:17,115 --> 01:27:20,118 OH, GOD, THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. 1721 01:27:22,620 --> 01:27:24,622 2! DO AS I TOLD YOU! 1722 01:27:43,641 --> 01:27:45,643 WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? 1723 01:27:50,148 --> 01:27:51,649 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 1724 01:27:51,649 --> 01:27:53,651 ALAN SWANN! 1725 01:28:20,678 --> 01:28:22,180 2. 1726 01:28:24,182 --> 01:28:26,184 AND ONE... 1727 01:28:26,684 --> 01:28:28,686 2. 1728 01:28:48,706 --> 01:28:49,707 Stone, voice-over: 1729 01:28:50,208 --> 01:28:51,709 THE WAY YOU SEE HIM HERE, LIKE THIS, 1730 01:28:51,709 --> 01:28:54,712 THIS IS THE WAY I LIKE TO REMEMBER HIM. 1731 01:28:54,712 --> 01:28:57,215 I THINK IF YOU HAD ASKED ALAN SWANN 1732 01:28:57,215 --> 01:29:00,718 WHAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST GRATIFYING MOMENT IN HIS LIFE, 1733 01:29:00,718 --> 01:29:03,221 HE MIGHT HAVE SAID THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. 1734 01:29:03,221 --> 01:29:04,722 THE NEXT DAY, I DROVE UP TO CONNECTICUT 1735 01:29:04,722 --> 01:29:05,723 WITH HIM AND ALFIE. 1736 01:29:05,723 --> 01:29:08,226 THIS TIME HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, 1737 01:29:08,226 --> 01:29:10,728 AND WHEN HE AND TESS SAW EACH OTHER, 1738 01:29:10,728 --> 01:29:13,231 IT WAS LIKE THEY'D NEVER BEEN APART. 1739 01:29:13,231 --> 01:29:14,732 LIKE ALFIE SAYS, 1740 01:29:14,732 --> 01:29:17,235 "WITH SWANN, YOU FORGIVE A LOT, YOU KNOW?" 1741 01:29:17,235 --> 01:29:18,236 I KNOW. 1742 01:29:18,236 --> 01:29:21,439 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. 1743 01:29:21,439 --> 01:29:24,442 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--