♪ ♪
好吧。我们从头再来一遍。
All right. Let's do it again from the top.
我们可以放音乐。
We can cue music.
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我 ♪ Marry me, marry me ♪
♪说“是”，为剩下的，剩下的♪ ♪ Say yes, for the rest, the rest ♪
♪ Say yes, for the rest, the rest ♪
♪。我从未见过永远旳♪ ♪ I never seen forever ♪
♪。我从未见过永远在野外的♪ ♪ I never seen forever in the wild ♪
♪ I never seen forever in the wild ♪
♪但现在我看着，看着它的眼睛♪ ♪ But now I'm lookin', now I'm lookin' in its eyes... ♪
♪ But now I'm lookin', now I'm lookin' in its eyes... ♪
明晚，超级巨星凯特·瓦尔迪兹和格莱美奖得主，超级超级超级巴斯蒂安将创造历史，他们将演唱他们的新热门歌曲《嫁给我》，并在全世界面前交换誓言。
Tomorrow night, superstar Kat Valdez
and Grammy-winning hot, hot, hot Bastian
will make history when they perform
their new hit song "Marry Me" and exchange vows
in front of the whole world.
2000万人。
20 million people.
明天见。
See you tomorrow.
我就是那个戴面纱的人。
I'll be the one in the veil.
猜猜谁会成为他们中的一员。我!
And guess who's gonna be one of them. Me!
我听说她穿着一件祖海·穆拉德定制的礼服上面镶嵌了一万颗手工珠子。
Okay, I hear that she is wearing a Zuhair Murad custom gown
with 10,000 hand-beaded crystals.
我现在很感激一切都是这样的。
I feel so grateful right now
that everything is the way it is.
我有一个美丽的fiancé，她支持我，爱我，而且……我非常感谢美国的粉丝们，因为他们以非常好的方式支持我和凯特。
I have a beautiful fiancé
who's so supportive and loving and...
I feel so grateful for the American fans because
they are supporting me and Kat in a very nice way.
《嫁给我》风靡全国。
"Marry Me" is sweeping the country.
策划婚礼真是疯了。
Planning the wedding show has been insane.
打击这个世界。
Strike that, the world.
凯特·瓦尔迪兹和巴斯蒂安明晚将在纽约的舞台上宣誓，然后飞往一个私人岛屿在那里，希望他们能一起演奏更美妙的音乐。
Kat Valdez and Bastian are taking their vows onstage
in New York City tomorrow night,
and then jetting off to a private island
where they'll make, let's hope, more beautiful music together.
城市国民银行，明星银行，推出《嫁给我》
City National Bank,
bank of the stars, presents "Marry Me."
旅行的结束，人生的开始。
The end of a tour and the beginning of a lifetime.
和我一起的是科林·卡洛维，她的经纪人。你好吗?
And with me is Colin Calloway, her manager. How are you?
我很好，贾斯汀。你好吗?
I'm very well, Justin. How are you?
我很好。我听说这都是巴斯蒂安的主意。
I'm good. Now, I heard this was all Bastian's idea.
不不不，他们都想回馈给粉丝一些东西。-你知道，加起来，他们的社交覆盖面超过2亿人?
Uh, no, no, no, they-they both wanted to give
- something back to the fans. - You know, combined,
they have a social reach of over 200 million people?
是啊，我当然知道。我是经理。
Uh, yeah, of course I know that. I'm-I'm the manager.
——嗯…嗯…-谁是伴娘?
- Uh... uh... - Who's a bridesmaid?
那她的前任呢?他们会在观众席里吗?
What about her exes? Will they be in the audience?
他们有几个人在等我，所以我要去处理一下。
They got some people, uh, waiting for me,
so I'm just gonna go and deal with that.
只是…——再见,伙计们。
- Just... - Bye, guys.
我讨厌和经理打交道。
I hate dealing with managers.
♪嫁给我♪ ♪ Marry me ♪
♪我是如此渴望你出现在我的生命里 ♪ I want you in my life so bad ♪
♬妈妈，妈妈，妈妈 ♪ Ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma ♪
♪嫁给我。♪ ♪ Marry me. ♪
谁能去推一下这车?
Can somebody get this cart?
有人能帮帮我吗?
Can somebody help me?
这是帕斯奎尔·布吕尼送的礼物。
It's a gift from Pasquale Bruni.
我是说，如果你不喜欢，我就接受。
I mean, if you don't like it, I'll take it.
-太漂亮了。——啊!
- Oh, that's beautiful. - Ah!
我们打包去度蜜月吧。
Um, let's pack it for the honeymoon.
——好的。——好吗?
- Okay. - Okay?
哦,更多的花。
Oh, more flowers.
天啊，这太疯狂了。
My God, this is insane.
这没什么。帕克街有辆搬家货车装满了结婚礼物，包括一个炉子。
This is nothing. There's a moving van on Park
stuffed with wedding gifts, including a stove.
-有人给我买了个炉子?-是粉丝送的。
- Someone got me a stove? - It's from a fan.
谁觉得我没有炉子?
Who thinks I don't have a stove?
是的,提拉?
Yeah, Tyra?
全部捐出去。
Donate all of it.
我是iHeartRadio的汤姆。
Oh, it's Tom from iHeartRadio.
汤姆，他本人。跟我说话。
Tom, the man himself. Talk to me.
我当然有票给你，即使我们的票都卖光了。
Of course I've got some tickets for you,
even if we are completely sold out.
我想这个城市里没有一个人不吵着要来参加这场婚礼。
I don't think there's a single person in this city
who's not clamoring to come to this wedding.
我觉得这是我最好的午餐之一，但你说了算。
Think this is one of my better lunches,
but you be the judge.
爸爸，别弄乱我的头发。
Dad, don't mess up my hair.
我以为那给了你好运。
I thought that gave you good luck.
那是很久以前的事了。
That was, like, a long time ago.
大概一个月前吧。
I think it was about a month ago.
这有多棒?
How great is this?
一起上同一所学校。
Going to the same school together.
-嗯,很好。-还有，卢，你可能不会经常见到我了。
- Mm-hmm, great. - Oh, and, Lou, you probably
won't see that much of me.
我知道这对你来说可能是个问题，但如果你需要随时见我…我不会的。
I know that could be a problem for you,
but if you need to see me anytime...
I won't.
我喜欢独立。好。
I like the independence. Good.
你认识你跟着的那个学生吗，埃斯特?
Oh, and you know the student that you're shadowing, Esther?
坦白说，埃丝特参加了我的数学俱乐部，但我不想让你有任何压力。
Full disclosure, Esther is in my math club,
but I don't want you to feel any pressure to join.
我不加入。
I'm not joining.
艰难的观众。
Tough audience.
嗯,爸爸?
Um, Dad?
-我能一个人进去吗?——当然。
- Can I go in alone? - Of course.
我正想问你同样的问题。
I was just gonna ask you the same thing.
如果我能一个人进去，你知道的，为了我的名声。
If I could walk in alone, you know, for my street cred.
我爱你!
I love you!
你可能擅长足球，你可能擅长田径，但当涉及到数学俱乐部……你最好小心点!
You may be good at football, you may be good at track,
but when it comes to math clubs...
You better watch your back!
柯立芝Pi-thons攻击!
Coolidge Pi-thons attack!
是的!
Yes!
我们的号码是多少?
What's our number?
3.141592……65839……珀西，我们知道了。好。
3.141592...
65839...
Percy, we got it. Good.
记住，如果你坐在题目里，答案会找到你的。
Okay, remember, if you sit in the question,
the answer will find you.
今天很棒的工作。我喜欢这种活力。
Terrific job today. I love the energy.
我告诉你，如果我们把它带进马拉松决赛，我们就能赢得…-埃丝特，你有空吗-是的。
I'm telling you, if we bring that
to the Mathalon finals, we win the...
- Oh, Esther, you got a second? - Yeah.
卢怎么样?她好吗?
How's Lou doing? She good?
我想是的。
I think so.
她数学很好，所以在某种程度上，如果她开始问我是否可以参加派松赛，我也不会感到惊讶。
You know, she's great at math, so at some point,
I wouldn't be surprised if she starts asking
about maybe joining the Pi-thons.
因为，你知道，在她上一所学校，她进了马赛龙比赛的决赛。
'Cause, you know, at her last school,
she made it to the Mathalon finals.
真的吗?她从来没提过。
Really? She never mentioned that.
啊，你知道，这就是问题所在。她很害羞。
Ah, you know, that's the thing. She's really shy.
哦，一点也不。她跟我讲了她的假期还有一个叫大卫的人。
Oh, not at all. She was telling me about her vacation
and about this guy named David.
大卫吗?我前任的新丈夫?
David? My ex's new husband?
-她说他什么了?-哦…没关系。不要紧。
- What did she say about him? - Oh...
It doesn't matter. Never mind.
实际上,继续。告诉我。
Actually, go ahead. Tell me.
哦，只是说他很棒，不管他们做什么，总是很酷，很刺激，你知道……——有趣。
Oh, just that he's awesome
and no matter what they do, it's always cool
- and exciting and, you know... - Fun.
-是的。——问题。
- Yeah. - Gotcha.
——好的。——好的。谢谢,以斯帖。
- All right. - Okay. Thanks, Esther.
我猜他们要去洞穴潜水。
I guess they're going cave diving.
——嗯。洞穴潜水。-是的。
- Hmm. Cave diving. - Yeah.
在哪里?
Where?
在楼梯井里，监视你女儿。
In a stairwell, spying on your daughter.
——真的吗?-我们不是间谍。
- Really? - We're not spying.
我们只是从远处看。
We're-we're just watching from a distance.
我们不是间谍。
We're not spying.
听着，她在上一所学校过得很艰难。
Look, she had a hard time at her last school.
我只是想确保她没事。
I just want to make sure she's okay.
所以呢，你以为你能把她介绍给那些酷孩子吗?
So, what, you thought you'd hook her up with the cool kids?
帕克尔，作为辅导员你应该做个好榜样。
Parker, you're supposed to set a good example
as the guidance counselor.
我用自己的外表和气质树立了最好的榜样。
I am setting the best example with my look and my vibe alone.
天啊，孩子们还在玩机器人吗?
Jesus, kids still do the robot?
嫁给我，嫁给我，说……♪ ♪ Marry me, marry me, say... ♪
-那是“嫁给我”的铃声吗?——有罪。
- Is that a "Marry Me" ringtone? - Guilty.
“嫁给我”是什么?
What's "Marry Me"?
是凯特和巴斯蒂安的新歌。
It's Kat and Bastian's new song.
-这是大家的新歌。-这是我的新歌。
- It's everyone's new song. - It's my new song.
-不是我的。-人们会向它求婚的。
- It's not mine. - People are gonna propose to it.
他们会把自己跟着它跳舞的视频发到网上。
They're gonna post videos of themselves
dancing to it down the aisle.
-准备好吃醋了吗?——是的。
- Are you ready to be jealous? - Yes.
我要带我的新女友罗克西和她的前女友去他们的音乐会/婚礼。——闭嘴。
I'm taking my new girlfriend Roxy and her ex-girlfriend
- to their concert/wedding. - Shut up.
她会看着我说…嗨,宝贝。
Where she's gonna look at me and say...
Hi, baby.
嗨,爱。
Hi, love.
-你看到我的帖子了吗?——没有。你帖子吗?
- Did you see my post? - No. You post something?
那么，你喜欢吗?
So, do you like it?
我爱它。
I love it.
我爱你。
I love you.
我更爱你，宝贝。
I love you more, baby.
-你什么时候回家?-大约一个小时。
- When'll you be home? - About an hour.
你知道现在这间公寓里有一千多人吗?——什么?
You know there's about a thousand people
- in this apartment right now? - What?
我知道。
I know.
2000万年?
20 million?
是的,当然。
Yeah, of course.
哦,我的上帝。事情已经失控了。
Oh, my God. This has gotten so out of control.
我在和凯特通话。等待。
Yo, I'm on with Kat. Wait.
是的,……现在我只希望是我和你在某处的海滩上。
Yeah, I just...
now I just wish it was me and you on a beach somewhere.
不,我的爱。
No, my love.
你值得拥有世界上最盛大的婚礼。
You deserve the biggest wedding in the world.
明天将是我们人生中最美好的夜晚。
And tomorrow's gonna be the best night of our lives.
——等不及了。-我也等不及了，宝贝。
- Can't wait. - I can't wait either, baby.
凯特在哪里?
Where's Kat?
十分钟后有个面试。
An interview in ten minutes.
看看我找到了什么。
Look what I just found.
迅速跑开了。
Scoot over.
我只是在看一些旧照片。
I was just looking through some old pictures.
——嗯?看看这个，我看到你，我和妈妈在牙买加玩滑翔伞。
- Uh-huh? - And look at this one I saw
of you, me and Mom in Jamaica, parasailing.
我们去帆伞运动吗?
We went parasailing?
你不记得了吗?
Do you not remember?
说实话，我完全不记得你们在一起的事。
I mean, to be honest,
I don't remember you together at all.
是啊，我们玩得很开心。
Well, we were, and we had fun.
我懂了，爸爸。你是个有趣的家伙。
I get it, Dad. You were a fun guy.
是的，我是个有趣的人。
I was, and I am a fun guy.
但是，你知道，这不仅仅是为了好玩。
But, you know,
it's not just about fun.
比那难多了。
It's-it's harder than that.
是工作。这是……想想坦克。
It's work. It's...
Well, think about Tank.
当坦克还是只小狗的时候。
When Tank was a puppy.
-还记得吗?-是的。
- You remember that? - Yeah.
你还记得他玩飞盘拔河和他跳来跳去有多开心吗?
You remember how fun he was
and playing tug-of-war with the Frisbee
and him jumping around?
现在他老了，眼睛也不灵光了，你不知道他还能活多少年——可你还是……-爸，坦克要死了吗?
And now he's old, and his eyes don't work,
and you don't know how many good years he has left,
- but you still... - Dad, is Tank dying?
不。不。
No. No.
对不起,我……坦克很好。
I'm sorry, I-I... Tank's good.
我有点跑题了。
I got a little off track.
我只是…我的意思是爱需要牺牲，需要日复一日。
I was just... What I meant is that
love is about sacrifice and the day-to-day.
爸爸，我现在能睡觉了吗?
Um, Dad, uh, can I go to sleep now?
是的,当然。是的。
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
——好的。晚安。——好的。
- Okay. Good night. - Okay.
晚安。
Night.
凯特·瓦尔迪兹(Kat Valdez)对婚礼并不陌生。上次她来这里时，她说她想办一场小型的、低调的、私密的婚礼，只邀请5000名最亲密的粉丝。
Last time she was here, Kat Valdez,
who let's just say is no stranger to weddings...
...said she wanted to do something smaller,
understated, intimate,
with just, say, 5,000 of their closest fans.
我是说朋友。
I mean friends.
只是一个普通女孩的简单婚礼。
Just a simple wedding for a simple gal.
就像妈妈的婚礼一样。
Just like Mom's wedding was.
嘿，早上好，纽约。
Hey, good morning, New York.
这是102.7。我是Seacrest。
It's 102.7. This is Seacrest with you.
凯特和巴斯蒂安的粉丝们，我是恩里克·桑托斯。
Kat and Bastian fans,
it's Enrique Santos with you.
今晚，凯特·瓦尔迪兹和巴斯蒂安将倾尽全力喜结连理。
Tonight, Kat Valdez and Bastian
will give it all they got and tie the knot.
今天是个大日子。
Today is the big day.
这太疯狂了，伙计。
That shit is crazy, man.
在这广阔的世界的海岸上，我孤独地站着，思索着，直到爱情和名声归于虚无。
"Then on the shore.
"Of the wide world I stand alone, and think.
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink."
这是Keats。你觉得他会喜欢吗?
It's Keats. You think he'll like it?
如果有人向他解释的话，是的。
If somebody explains it to him, yeah.
它是美丽的。
It's beautiful.
哦，今天是你结婚的日子!
Oh, today is your wedding day!
是的,是的,是的。
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
抓住它，抓住它，抓住它。
Get it, get it, get it.
明天就是我们的结婚纪念日了。
Tomorrow would've been our anniversary.
你们交往了大概两周吧?
You guys went out for what, two weeks?
17天，如果算上分手的话。
17 days, if you include the breakup.
她用短信甩了我。
And she dumped me with a text.
那么粗鲁。
So rude.
今晚和我一起去卡特·瓦尔迪兹的演唱会吧。
Come to the Kat Valdez concert with me tonight.
帕克，我不喜欢音乐会。
Parker, I'm not a big concert person.
听着，这是千载难逢的邀请，但你还没收到。
Listen, this is a once-in-a-lifetime invitation,
and you don't even get it.
这是哈雷彗星。
This is Halley's Comet.
你穿的衣服很衬你的身材。
It's you wearing an outfit that flatters your body.
这是非常罕见的。
It's very rare.
好吧，我今晚要照顾卢。
Okay, I've got Lou tonight.
好。我有三张票。
Good. I've got three tickets.
带她。
Bring her.
也许她会觉得你很有趣。
Maybe she'll think you're fun.
♬教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church ♪
♪喜欢教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
是的♪♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪我双膝跪地♪ ♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
♪我已经为你倾倒 ♪ I've fallen for you ♪
♪你打开了我的大门，让我看到了真相 ♪ You've opened my gates and showed me the truth ♪
♪ You've opened my gates and showed me the truth ♪
♪我重生了，我感觉重生了♪ ♪ I'm born again, I'm feeling renewed ♪
♪ I'm born again, I'm feeling renewed ♪
♬是你给我指明了方向 ♪ You showed me the way ♪
♪我在你身上受洗 ♪ I'm baptized in you ♪
♬我能感觉到它在我的胸膛里 ♪ I feel it in my chest ♪
♪。你在我脑海里，我穿上了最好的♪ ♪ I got you in my head, I'm putting on my best ♪
♪ I got you in my head, I'm putting on my best ♪
♪就像我在教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Like I'm in church, church, church ♪
♪ Like I'm in church, church, church ♪
♬呼喊你的名字 ♪ Screaming out your name ♪
♬让我有安全感 ♪ Got me feeling safe ♪
♪这是崭新的一天，就像我在教堂一样 ♪ It's a new day, like I'm in church ♪
♪ It's a new day, like I'm in church ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church ♪
♬你让我高声歌唱，哈利路亚 ♪ You make me sing out, "Hallelujah" ♪
♪ You make me sing out, "Hallelujah" ♪
♬这种爱会对你造成伤害 ♪ This kind of love will do it to ya ♪
♪ This kind of love will do it to ya ♪
♪喜欢教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church ♪
♪喜欢做礼拜，做礼拜 ♪ Like church, church ♪
♪教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church ♪
是的♪♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪随时准备说“我愿意”♪ ♪ Ready to say "I do" ♪
-♬让这个女人真实 - ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ - ♪ Making this woman true ♪
- ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ - ♪ Making this woman true ♪
♬哦，哦♬ ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♬是的，对上帝说实话，这是真的 ♪ Yes, honest to God, it's true ♪
♪ Yes, honest to God, it's true ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♪随时准备说“我愿意”♪ ♪ Ready to say "I do" ♪
-♬让这个女人真实 - ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ - ♪ Making this woman true ♪
- ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ - ♪ Making this woman true ♪
♬哦，哦♬ ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♬是的，对上帝说实话，这是真的 ♪ Yes, honest to God, it's true ♪
♪ Yes, honest to God, it's true ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♬你让我唱出“哈利路亚”，证明♬ ♪ You make me sing out, "Hallelujah," testify ♪
♪ You make me sing out, "Hallelujah," testify ♪
♬这种爱会对你造成伤害 ♪ This kind of love will do it to ya ♪
♪ This kind of love will do it to ya ♪
♪喜欢教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church ♪
♪喜欢教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Like church, church, church, church ♪
是的♪♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪是啊，嘿，嘿，宝贝 ♪ Yeah, hey, hey, baby ♪
♪我在教堂里 ♪ I'm in church ♪
♬教堂，教堂，教堂，教堂 ♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♪ Church, church, church, church ♪
♪哦，我和你在教堂里 ♪ Ooh, I'm in church with you ♪
♪我和你在教堂里 ♪ I'm in church with you ♪
♬是的，是的 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
是的♪♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪万军之耶和华。♪ ♪ Lord almighty. ♪
我们爱你，凯特!
We love you, Kat!
非常感谢你们在这个特别的时刻来到这里。
Thank you so much for being here
on such a monumentally special occasion.
今晚大家感觉怎么样?
How's everybody feeling tonight?
房子里有拉丁裔吗?
Are there any Latinos in the house?
我正在找一个特别的。
Well, I am looking for one in particular.
是的。
Yes.
哦,这样。
Ooh, hold this.
罗克西，看看我的新闺蜜。
Hey, Roxy, check out my new best friends.
是啊，去死吧!
Oh, yeah, and suck it!
那个美丽的女人将成为我的妻子。
That beautiful woman is gonna be my wife.
我应该穿连体衣的。
I should've worn my onesie.
查理。
Charlie.
是的。
Yeah.
什么是错的。
Something's wrong.
在哪里?
Where?
第六页。
Page Six.
你们准备好婚礼了吗?
Are you guys ready for the wedding?
——提拉在哪儿?-在巴斯蒂安的更衣室。
- Where's Tyra? - In Bastian's dressing room.
——啊,完美的。-舞者们，五分钟后上台!
- Ah, perfect. - Dancers, to the stage in five!
梅尔!梅尔在哪儿?
Mel! Where's Mel?
大家都在看什么?
What's everybody looking at?
哦。我知道新郎不应该在婚礼前见新娘。
Oh. I know the groom is not
supposed to see the bride before the wedding.
我能说声“哇”吗?
Can I just say, "Wow."
不。
No.
女士们先生们...你们期待已久的时刻到了。
Ladies and gentlemen...
...the moment you've all been waiting for.
-怎么了?-一切都很好。
- What's the matter? - Mm, everything's fine.
——很奇怪的东西。-没什么好担心的。
- Something's weird. - Nothing to worry about.
大家都在看什么?
What's everybody looking at?
-忘了他们吧。-把手机给我。
- Forget about them. - Give me your phone.
现在!
Now!
这可能不是真的。
It might not be real.
“嫁给我!”“嫁给我!”
"Marry Me!" "Marry Me!"
一个页面Sixexclusive:
A Page Sixexclusive:
一个匿名者给我们发了一段火辣的视频肯定会让你大吃一惊。
An anonymous poster sent us this hot video
that's gonna blow your mind.
凯特·瓦尔迪兹的准丈夫巴斯蒂安被发现背着她和她的助理偷情。
Kat Valdez's husband-to-be Bastian
was caught cheating on her with her assistant.
我能找个证人吗?
Can I get a witness?
“嫁给我!”“嫁给我!”“嫁给我!”
"Marry Me!" "Marry Me!" "Marry Me!"
“嫁给我!”
"Marry Me!"
你能把音乐停一下吗?
Uh, can you stop the music?
哦,狗屎。
Oh, shit.
还有，你能把室内的灯打开吗?
And, um, can you turn up the house lights?
是的。
Yeah.
-我们爱你，凯特!-我们爱你，凯特!
- We love you, Kat! - We love you, Kat!
-凯特，我们爱你!——凯特!
- Kat, we love you! - Kat!
-我很好。-凯特，你真是个女神!
- I'm okay. - Kat, you're a goddess!
我听说…
I'm told that, uh...
.．.有两千万的人会看着我
...20 million people are
supposed to watch me sing "Marry Me"
对我的挚爱唱《嫁给我》……
to the love of my life...
.．.然后看着我们宣誓。
...and then watch as we take our vows.
我不知道她会这么做。
I didn't know she was gonna do this.
美丽。
Beautiful.
所以很自然，我想知道我在和谁说话。
So it's only natural
that I would want to see who I'm talking to.
我们爱你!
We love you!
凯特，我们爱你!
Kat, we love you!
你可能也不知道这事，对吧?
Probably didn't know about this either, did you?
很自然，我要说点什么，如果不是关于婚姻，那就是关于爱情。
Only natural that I say something,
if not about marriage,
then about... love.
因为这是我们都在寻找的，对吧?
Because that's what we're all looking for, right?
——爱?——是的!
- Love? - Yes!
第六版独家新闻……我们太过沉迷于自己想要的生活……
A Page Sixexclusive...
We get so caught up in what we want our life to be that...
.．.而忘记了我们的爱到底是什么
...we forget what our love actually is.
一个谎言。
A lie.
这是好的!我们爱你!
It's okay! We love you!
一个你很久以前就出卖自己的童话故事你都忘了那不是真的。
A fairy tale that you sold yourself so long ago
that you forgot that wasn't real.
但在内心深处，你知道。
But deep down, you knew.
我们爱你，凯特。
We love you, Kat.
我们爱你，凯特!
We love you, Kat!
我们爱你!
We love you!
她在出洋相。
She's making a fool of herself.
不。
No.
你知道。
Somehow you knew.
你这么做。
You did that.
你会发现那根本就不是爱。
You realize that it wasn't love at all.
你只是爱上了你想让那个人成为什么样的人。
You were just in love
with the idea of who you wanted that person to be.
但你不能嫁给一个想法。
But you can't marry an idea.
他们说，如果你想要不同的东西，你就得做不同的事情。
You know, they say, if you want something different,
you have to do something different.
所以这一次，你第一次做出了不同的选择。
So this time, for the first time,
you make a different choice.
你从悬崖上跳下来，高到你甚至看不到下落。
You jump off a cliff so high you can't even see the fall.
你只需要说……
And you just...
.．.是的。
...say yes.
为什么不呢?
Why not?
确定。
Sure.
我会嫁给你。
I'll marry you.
你。
You.
爸爸。爸爸,这是你。
Dad. Dad, that's you.
我以为是巴斯蒂安，但其实只是个穿风衣的人。
I thought it would be Bastian,
but it's just some guy wearing a windbreaker.
也许他是个戴着面具的名人。
Maybe he's a celebrity wearing a mask.
-是真的吗?-是的，这是真的!
- Is this for real? - Yeah, it's for real!
天啊，她在跟你说话。
Jesus H. She's talking to you.
查理,走吧!走吧!
Charlie, go! Go!
——走吧。走吧!——走吧!走吧!走吧!
- Go. Go! - Go! Go! Go!
走吧!走吧!走吧!
Go! Go! Go!
♪ ♪
哦,我的上帝。
Oh, my God.
你，卡特里娜·瓦尔迪兹，愿意嫁给这个人做你的合法丈夫吗?
Do you, Katrina Valdez,
take this guy to be your lawfully wedded husband?
我的意思是，真正地接受他。仔细想一想,女孩。
And I mean really take him. Think hard, girl.
——我愿意。——等等,什么?
- I do. - Wait, what?
那你，某个男人，愿意娶凯特为你的合法妻子吗?
And do you, some guy,
take Kat to be your lawfully wedded wife?
不!巴斯蒂安·!
No! Bastian!
——来吧! -耶！
- Do it! - Yeah!
这是你的责任，兄弟。
It's on you, bro.
说,是的!
Say yes!
好吧。
Okay.
我们接受“好吧。”
We'll take "okay."
以纽约州赋予我的权力，我现在宣布你们结为夫妻。
By the power vested in me by the state of New York,
I now declare you...
...husband and wife.
♪ ♪
凯特。
Kat.
离我远点。
Get the hell away from me.
-我能解释一下…——我是认真的!
- Can I just explain... - I'm serious!
-把她带出去!-清理这片区域。
- Get her out of here! - Clear this area.
-请大家出去。-怎么了?
- Everybody out, please. - What's going on?
发生了什么事?
What happened?
宝贝……
Baby...
去你的,巴斯蒂安·!
Screw you, Bastian!
我们在迈阿密打了一架，然后你叫我滚出去。
We got in that fight in Miami,
then you told me to get out.
所以这都是我的错吗?
Oh, so this is all my fault?
没什么。没什么。
It's nothing. It was nothing.
放我出去。
Get me out of here.
-哇，哇，哇，只是…哇,只是……——等。
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, just... Whoa, just... - Wait.
你以为你是谁啊，伙计?一些粉丝吗?
Who the hell do you think you are, man? Some fan?
不，我不喜欢。只是…我是说，我现在是。
No, I'm not a fan. Just...
Well, I mean, I am now.
好吧。我们做完了。你们这些人，放下手机。
Okay. We're done. You lot, get your phones down.
节目结束了。走,走,走。
Show's over. Go, go, go.
卡尔，带这两个到后面去。
Carl, take these two round the back.
我让你派人从前门绕过去。
I'll have you send decoys round the front.
——倾听。-快把他弄出去!
- Listen. - Just get him out of here!
嘿,那就动起来吧。移动。
Hey, move. Move.
他在那里。他在那里。
Hold him there. Hold him there.
-特里，我很好。——哇,哇。
- Terry, I'm-I'm good. - Whoa, whoa.
♪ ♪
这是疯狂的。
That was crazy.
我很抱歉。我不知道该说什么，也不知道刚才发生了什么，但我知道在某种程度上你一定很在乎那个人。
I'm sorry. I don't know exactly what to say
or what just happened, but I know on some level
you must have really cared about that guy.
我要嫁给他。
I was marrying him.
好点。
Good point.
他会很老的。
He's going to age badly.
不,他不是。
No, he's not.
是的,你是对的。
Yeah, you're right.
他可能会变得更帅。
He's probably just gonna get better looking.
我真的很抱歉。
I'm really sorry about all this.
我也是。
Me, too.
你没事吧?
You gonna be okay?
杰夫会送你回家。
Jeff will take you home.
好吧。晚安，各位。
Okay. Good night.
最后查理。
Charlie, finally.
嘿。卢怎么样?
Hey. How's Lou?
她很好。她在她妈妈家。你在哪里?
She's fine. She's at her mom's. Where are you?
我在车库里。我在回家的路上。
I'm in a garage. I'm on my way home.
等一等。你是说你没看过?
Hold on. You're saying you haven't seen it?
哦,我的上帝。你到处都是。
Oh, my God. You are everywhere.
网络上，电视上，在……“电视”是什么意思?
Online, on television, on...
What do you mean "television"?
你听说凯特·瓦尔迪兹今晚在音乐会上和另一个陌生人结婚了吗?
Did you hear Kat Valdez got married
to a different stranger at the concert tonight?
你相信吗?
Do you believe that?
在今晚从演唱会回家的路上，凯特·瓦尔迪兹也离开了演唱会的男人，然后和她的优步司机结婚，然后…现在他要带他们去特克斯和凯科斯群岛度蜜月，她要在那里嫁给那个侍者。
On the way home from the concert tonight,
Kat Valdez also left the guy from the concert,
then married her Uber driver, and then...
Now he's-he's driving them to the honeymoon
in Turks and Caicos, where she will marry the bellboy.
这非常………这一切都发生了……凯特·瓦尔迪兹和巴斯蒂安…
It's very... It's all... It's all happening...
Kat Valdez y Bastian...
你就在那里。
There you are.
你需要什么吗?
You need anything?
告诉我这不是真的。
Just...
tell me it didn't happen.
为什么我总是选错人?
Why do I always pick the wrong guy?
我让所有人都失望了。
I let everyone down.
不,不。不,你没有。
No, no. No, you didn't.
我无法摆脱我自己的方式。
I can't get out of my own way.
哦,来这里。到这里来。
Oh, come here. Come here.
没关系。
It's all right.
我们会想出办法的。
We'll figure it out.
我保证。
I promise.
我保证。
I promise.
我们会想出办法的。
We'll figure it out.
好消息是昨晚有个婚礼。
Well, the good news is there was a wedding last night.
坏消息是这不是一个玩笑。
The bad news is it was not a joke.
我有两件事要说。
I have two things to say.
首先，凯特，我们爱你……是巴斯蒂安·。
First, Kat, we love you...
It's Bastian.
他说他只需要五分钟。
He says he just needs five minutes.
把电话挂了，关掉。
Hang up and turn that off.
我得走了。
I got to go.
上帝,他是难以置信的。
God, he's unbelievable.
现在该做什么?
What now?
他要去波多黎各。
Well, he's going to Puerto Rico.
他说他需要振作起来。
He says he needs to get his head together.
无论什么。
Whatever.
凯特，他哭了。
Kat, he was crying.
没用的。
Not helping.
你对吧?
You all right?
不。
No.
好吧，我昨晚做了些调查，结果发现，在一万起潜在的垃圾箱火灾中，你选了一个体面的，无犯罪记录的直男单身父亲，还有，他是个数学老师。
Okay, well, I did a bit of digging last night,
and it turns out, out of 10,000 potential dumpster fires,
you picked a decent, straight, single father
with no criminal record, and get this,
he's a maths teacher.
-那很好吗?——太棒了。
- And that's good? - It's great.
他不会有问题的。
He's not gonna be a problem.
我说我们出五千块，让他签下保密协议，让这一切都过去。
I say we offer $5,000,
get him to sign an NDA and let it all blow over.
还是……还是?
Or...
Or?
或者我可以继续跟他在一起。
Or I could stay married to him.
你在开玩笑吧。
You're kidding.
你在开玩笑吧。
You're kidding.
你不是在开玩笑。
You're not kidding.
你不能。我们不能。
Y-You can't. We can't.
它是不合法的。
It-it's not legal.
我们没有提交文件。
We didn't file papers.
那就把文件归档。
So file the papers.
……我是说，在这里放唱片。
Wha...
I mean, play the record through here.
我昨晚做了一件事，如果不做完，我看起来就像疯了一样。
I started something last night,
and if I don't finish it, I look crazy.
“呃。”你会看起来更疯狂。
"Er." You'll look crazier.
合十礼。
Namaste.
是啊，我们得赶在这之前走。
Yeah, we got to get out in front of this.
现在他觉得他可以当众羞辱我吗?
Now, he thinks he can publicly humiliate me?
螺丝。
Screw him.
这是对疯狂情况的狂躁反应。
This is a manic response to an insane situation.
不，我们得改变说法。
No, we have to change the narrative.
好吧?我不会永远嫁给他的。
All right? I'm not marrying him forever.
就一个月，…几个月。
It's just for a month, a... a few months.
现在，假设你娶的那个男人没有女朋友，也没有自己的生活，假设我能让他同意，我不确定我们到底要告诉全世界什么。
Now, presuming the man you married
doesn't have a girlfriend or a life,
and presuming I can get him to agree,
I'm not sure exactly what we're telling the world.
你不会想成为笑话的。
You don't want to be a joke.
我不想成为笑柄。
I don't want to be the punch line.
我们必须拥抱那一刻的自发性，然后说……
We have to embrace the spontaneity of the moment
and just say...
“其他方法都不起作用。
"Nothing else has worked."
也许这个方法会起作用。”
"Maybe this will."
科林，你知道当你的车打滑失控时他们会怎么说吗?
You know what they say to do
when your car's skidding out of control, Colin?
闭上眼睛祈祷?
Close your eyes and pray?
踩油门，转弯。
Hit the gas and turn into it.
等等，你在说什么?
Wait, what are you saying?
反思范式。
Rethink the paradigm.
我们不是在向世界兜售童话故事。
We're not selling the world a fairy tale.
我们不再讨论童话故事了。
We're taking the fairy tale off the table.
你昨晚就是这么做的。
That's what you did last night.
-我就是这么做的?-是的。
- That's what I did? - Yeah.
听着，我只是想帮助一个看起来精神崩溃的人。
Look, I was just trying to help someone who seemed like
they were in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
我们称之为打破传统。
We're calling it a break from tradition.
她从人群中认出了你你，我的朋友，认出了她。
A moment of clarity where she picked you out of a crowd
and you, my friend, picked her.
我都不认识她。
I don't even know her.
凯特·瓦尔迪兹是个传奇。
Kat Valdez is a legend.
白手起家的。
Self-made.
她由单亲父亲抚养长大，父亲在她取得任何成就之前就去世了。
She was raised by a single father
who died before she had any kind of success.
如今，她已是一名35岁以上的女性，而在这个行业，任何年龄的女性都被边缘化。
Now she's a woman north of 35
in a business that marginalizes women at any age.
人们喜欢他们的艺术家展现他们的灵魂，如果他们走得太远，人们就会诋毁他们。
People love their artists to bare their souls,
then vilify them if they go too far.
我不会让他们这样对她的。
Well, I'm not gonna let them do that to her.
-我请求你帮我——如何?
- And I'm asking you to help me. - How?
站在她身边三个月。
Stand beside her for three months.
她是怎么想的?
And what does she think about this?
这是她的主意。
It was her idea.
-她想到了……-是的。
- She had the idea for... - Yeah.
如果我们给你一万美元呢?
What if we offered you $10,000?
不,不,不。错误的方法。
No, no, no. Wrong approach.
给他开个募捐会。
Offer him, like, a fundraiser.
他会同意的。
He'll go for that.
哦。嗨。
Oh. Hi.
哦,我很抱歉。你们两个……真恶心。不。
Uh, I'm sorry. Are you two...
Ew, gross. No.
帕克·德布斯，辅导员。同一所学校。
Parker Debs, guidance counselor. Same school.
我们为你的数学俱乐部举办一场筹款会怎么样?
How about, uh, we host a fundraiser for your math club?
不回答这个问题。好吧。
Don't answer that. Okay.
如果不是3个月，而是6个月，还可能是一整间数学教室呢?
What about if it's, like,
instead of three months, it's six months,
and it could be, like, a whole math wing?
我在为孩子们着想。
I'm thinking about the children.
是的，这太荒谬了。
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
我觉得没人会相信她会从巴斯蒂安变成我。
I don't think anyone's gonna believe
that she's gonna go from Bastian to me.
-说得好。-事实是她确实从巴斯蒂安转到你了。
- That's a good point. - Well, the fact is
that she did go from Bastian to you.
对位。
Counterpoint.
我们不是假装你恋爱了。
We're not pretending you're in love.
我们只想说你们开始了解对方了，如果能更进一步，那很好，如果不能…它不会。来……-别用那种态度。-那就不需要了
We're just gonna say that you're getting
to know each other, and if it goes further,
then great, and if it doesn't...
It won't. Come...
- Not with that attitude. - Well, then it doesn't have to.
这是关于这一刻的。
This is about this moment.
控制媒体的狂热，直到事情平息。
Managing the media frenzy until things die down.
我有一个女儿。
I have a daughter.
我不想把她拖进马戏团。
I don't want to drag her into the middle of a circus.
我可以向你保证，我们不会影响你的生活。
I can assure you, we won't impinge
on your life whatsoever.
不是无名之辈是什么感觉?
How does it feel to not be a nobody?
你觉得她比你性感多了吗，查理?——嘿,查理!就在这里!
How do you feel about her being so much hotter
- than you, Charlie? - Hey, Charlie! Right here!
查理，你要这么做吗?
Hey, Charlie, are you gonna go through with this?
在哪里度蜜月?
Where's the honeymoon?
你看清楚他的样子了吗?
Did you get a good look at him?
是的。他很可爱。
Yeah. He's cute.
什么?
What?
——他很好。-嗨。
- He's fine. - Hey.
查理,进来。
Charlie, come in.
哦，她就在那儿。耶稣。
Oh, she's right there. Jesus.
过来,伙计们。
Come over, guys.
查理,凯特。Kat,查理。
Charlie, Kat. Kat, Charlie.
-嗨。哦。-你好吗?哦。
- Hi. Oh. - How are you? Oh.
——好的。——我是帕克。
- Okay. - I'm Parker.
…是我带查理来音乐会的，所以我…——是的。
I'm... I am the one who brought Charlie to the concert,
- so I'm-I'm... - Yep.
基本上，我想这一切都是我的责任。
Basically, I guess I'm responsible
for this whole thing.
嗨,帕克。
Hi, Parker.
嗨,凯特。
Hey, Kat.
嗨。
Hi.
你能帮我个忙吗，就两秒钟，然后说-萝克丝，你真的搞砸了?——哦。哦。
Would you do me a favor,
uh, just two seconds, and just say,
- "Roxy, you really blew it"? - Oh. Oh.
今天的节目是周二十点。
Today Showis a go at 10:00 on Tuesday.
——对不起。-他们想要…嗯,查理。
- Sorry. - They want, uh, um...
Um, Charlie.
查理在演播室，凯特远离伦敦。
Charlie in studio and Kat remote from London.
——凯特。-失陪一下。
- Kat. - Excuse me one second.
-我得接个电话。——好的。
- I just have to take a call. - Okay.
——再见,凯特。-一切都准备好了…-她就像个真人。-好吧，到底怎么回事?
- Bye, Kat. - Everything's set up...
- She's like a real person. - All right, so what's going on?
我们预约了一周的面试。
Uh, we're booking interviews all week.
啊哈。我以为今天就是这样。
Uh-huh. I thought that's what today was.
不,不。今天更像是新闻发布会。
No, no. Today's more of a press conference.
但接下来的几周，我们会有一些谈话，新闻媒体会跟着我们，记录下你们俩了解对方的进展。
But throughout the next few weeks,
we're gonna have some sit-downs and B roll
and news outlets following us, charting the progress
as you two get to know each other.
都写在你的邮件里了。
It's all in your email.
我不经常查看邮件。
I don't check my emails a lot.
如果你不检查你的电子邮件，你怎么安排你的生活?
How do you schedule your life if you don't check your email?
很简单。周一到周五的8点到3点我什么都做不了，放学后我还要参加数学俱乐部，每周有三天，我要照顾我的孩子。
Easy. I can't do anything
between 8:00 and 3:00 Monday through Friday,
and I have math club after school,
and three days a week, I have my kid.
除此之外，我都有空。
Beyond that, I'm pretty much available.
——所以,对不起…——梅丽莎。
- So, sorry... - Melissa.
梅丽莎，你得把《今日秀》撤了。
Melissa, you're gonna have to move The Today Show.
什么?原谅我吗?
What? Excuse me?
我们不动《今日秀》
We don't move The Today Show.
接下来是《今日秀》
We move for The Today Show.
他得改期了。
He's gonna have to shift his schedule.
好吧，我来处理。
Okay, I'll-I'll handle it.
好吧，我能应付自己的生活。
Okay, I can handle my own life.
我可以帮他处理。
I can help him handle it.
梅丽莎，你不是应该发布维他命吗?
Uh, Melissa, shouldn't you be posting Vitamix?
那是提拉的工作。
That's Tyra's job.
哦。对。
Oh. Right.
早上好,每个人。我不知道你们怎么想，但是我早上起来的时候，我喜欢冥想。
Morning, everybody. I don't know about you guys,
but when I get up in the morning, I like to meditate.
我也喜欢喝新鲜的果汁。
I also love to have fresh juice.
所以我喜欢每天喝含有维他命的果汁。
So I like to juice daily with my Vitamix.
我拿着新鲜的青菜，搅拌一下就可以走了。
I take my fresh greens, mix and go.
好吧，听着，我不想打断一位艺术家的创作，但我们得严格限制学生，还有日程安排，好吗?-是的。是的。
Okay, look, I hate to interrupt an artist
while she's juicing, but we're gonna have to draw
a hard line when it comes to the students
- and the schedule, okay? - Yeah. Yeah.
你有点闪亮。
You're a little shiny.
太棒了。我们来自拍吧。
Awesome. Let's take a selfie.
我觉得不舒服。
I don't feel comfortable.
-我真的不觉得这是我的世界。——这很正常。
- I really don't feel like this is my world. - It's natural.
我只是觉得周围的人都是马屁精。
It just feels like everyone walking around
is, like, a sycophant.
她生命中的一切都是有赞助的。
Everything in her life is sponsored.
-我知道，但别毁了我的兴致。-不，但听我说
- I know, but don't ruin this for me. - No, but listen to me.
——我……-嗨。
- I... - Hey.
-进展如何?——我很抱歉。
- How we doing? - I'm sorry.
…我觉得我们不会有结果的。
I don't... I don't think it's gonna work out.
只是角度。
It's just perspective.
不，这不仅仅是视角问题。
No, it's not just perspective.
你把她看成是签了代言合同的流行明星，一个爱自拍的自恋狂，但这还不是全部……我是说，自拍有意义吗?我的意思是……抬头看。
You see her as some pop star with endorsement deals,
a narcissist who takes meaningless selfies,
but that's not the full...
Well, I mean, is a selfie ever meaningful? I mean...
Look up.
听着，我不想这么消极，但我不是社交媒体达人。
Look, I-I don't mean to be negative,
but I'm not a big social media person.
我觉得这是一种扭曲的现实。
I feel it's kind of a distorted reality.
我很高兴能来听你的TED演讲。
I'm so glad I came to your TED Talk.
不,来吧。我经常在我的学生身上看到这种情况。
No, come on. I see it all the time in my students.
——这是…-凯特可以走路了。
- It's... - Kat's ready to walk.
好的,她准备好了。
Okay, she's ready.
社交媒体也可以触及到人们。
Social media can also reach people.
-我知道。是的。-它可以是一个工具。
- No, I know. Yeah. - It can be a tool.
你知道什么是工具吧，查理?
You know what a tool is, though, right, Charlie?
——好的。谢谢你,梅丽莎。——燃烧。
- Okay. Thank you, Melissa. - Burn.
我知道这太多了。
I know this is a lot.
走出去，做你自己。
Just go out there and be yourself.
我自己可能不会在这里，但是…听着，如果你不想这么做…什么 那我走了?
Myself probably wouldn't be here, but...
Listen, if you don't want to do this...
Uh, what, then I leave?
你不是说他喜欢这个吗。
I thought you said he was into this.
——他是。-他能听到你说话
- He is. - He can hear you.
女士们先生们，有请凯特·瓦尔迪兹和她的新丈夫查理·吉尔伯特。
Ladies and gentlemen,
Kat Valdez and her new husband,
Charlie Gilbert.
你觉得和一个陌生人结婚很浪漫吗?
So, you think it's romantic
marrying a complete stranger?
冲动，没有计划。
Uh, impulsive, without a plan.
但是，嘿，看看我的计划给我带来了什么。
But, hey, look where my plans got me.
所以，你就把谨慎抛到九霄云外，想…其实我没想过。
So, you just
threw caution to the wind and thought...
I didn't think, actually.
那是一个时刻。
It was a moment.
你把一生都指望在这一瞬间吗?
You're banking a lifetime on a moment?
不，我指望的是一段一段的时光。
No, I'm banking a moment on a moment.
吃够了，那就是一辈子。
Get enough of those, and that's a lifetime.
你们对彼此一无所知。
You know nothing about each other.
你考虑过了吗?
Did you think twice?
查理?
Charlie?
人们总是随机见面。
Mm, people meet randomly all the time.
… 在酒吧或网上。
At a... at a bar or...
Online.
是的，网上，在7- 11。
Yeah, online, at 7-Eleven.
嗯…我是说，为什么这更疯狂?
Uh...
I mean, why is this any crazier?
很明显，你结婚了。
To state the obvious, you got married.
是啊,……现在我们开始了解彼此了。
Yeah, and...
Now we get to know each other.
-但不是作为夫妻?-哦,不。
- But not as man and wife? - Uh, no.
那简直是疯了。
That would be nuts.
只是为了她。
Just for her.
对我来说，这将是非常惊人的。
For me, it would be pretty amazing.
昨晚，我举着一个朋友的牌子向一个女人求婚，她答应了，我就答应了，然后... ...你知道，我这么做不是因为她很漂亮……嗯，也许有一点…
Last night, I held up a friend's sign
asking a woman to marry me,
and she said yes, and I did, and...
...you know, I did it not,
you know, because she was beautiful..
Well, maybe a little...
.．.但在那个时候，我觉得这样做是对的。
...um, but it just seemed like,
in the moment, the right thing to do.
怎么，你们就这么见了面就答应了吗?
So, what, you just saw each other and said yes?
是的。
Yes.
这看起来不无聊吗?
And that doesn't seem frivolous?
历史上，婚姻是交易的。
Historically, marriage was transactional.
它是关于扩张你的帝国，而一个女人的价值是基于她所带来的。
It was about expanding your empire,
and a woman's value was based on what she brought.
比如"你给我一头小母牛，我就把我女儿给你"
Like, "You give me a heifer, and I'll give you my daughter."
这是可怕的。我知道。
It's terrible. I know.
这是……你知道，这不是我想出来的。
That's... Uh, you know, I didn't come up with it.
但这确实是一笔生意，并不是为了爱情而设计的，也许这就是人们现在被绊倒的地方。
But it really was a business deal,
and it wasn't designed to be about love,
and maybe that's where people kind of get tripped up now.
这是你的第二次婚姻，对吧，查理?
This is your second marriage, right, Charlie?
你不想再次失败。
You wouldn't want to fail again.
除非你失败了，否则你就没活过，比尔。
Well, you haven't lived unless you've failed, Bill.
你在CNBC的时候就知道了。
You should know that from your time at CNBC.
听着，我们做的事很疯狂…我们知道……但是，你知道，这真的是一次信心的飞跃。
Listen, what we did was crazy..
We know that.. But, you know,
it was just truly a leap of faith.
现有的规则对女人来说很糟糕。
The rules as they exist pretty much suck for women.
我是说，为什么我们要等男人求婚?
I mean, why do we have to wait for men to propose?
为什么一切都按他说的做?
Why is everything on his terms?
不，我觉得是时候改变了。
No, I think it is time to shake things up.
这个怎么样?我们选了这个人，保留我们的名字让他赢得留下的权利。
How about this? We pick the guy,
we keep our name and let him earn the right to stay.
那是很棒的。
That was terrific.
不,不,我是认真的。哦,听。
No, no, seriously. Oh, and listen.
不要担心星期二。
Don't worry about Tuesday.
我们将根据您的安排调整我们的日程。
We'll adjust our schedule around yours.
-没事的。——谢谢。我很感激。
- It'll be fine. - Thanks. I appreciate it.
-不，当然。-我们会尽量不让你的生活太过混乱。
- No, of course. - We'll try not to
turn your life upside down too much.
我想这可能有点晚了。
I think it might be a little too late for that.
我是说，你习惯了吗?
I mean, do you ever get used to this?
只有关注，混乱，到处都是人吗?
Just the attention and the chaos and the people everywhere?
我不知道。有些时候，你几乎察觉不到。
I don't know. Some days, you barely notice.
其他时候，你感觉自己像动物园里的熊猫。
Other days, you feel like... a panda in a zoo.
你应该事先知道。
You should know that up front.
明白了。
Got it.
你现在要去哪里?
Where you off to now?
哦，伦敦，去开会。
Oh, London, for a meeting.
我要去弗拉特布什买条狗，差不多就是这样了。
And I'm off to Flatbush for a dog,
which pretty much sums it up.
下次拍照时再见吧?
I'll see you at the next photo op?
好吧。
Okay.
别忘了看看你的时间表。
Don't forget to check your schedule.
我得到了它。
I got it.
我的天啊他连发短信都用不上。
OMG. He can't even text with that.
我的天啊,是的,他能。
OMG. Yes, he can.
但非常缓慢。
But very slowly.
哦,是的,是的。
Ay, ay, ay.
你看起来一点也不紧张，你知道吗，对某人来说，你有一副不寻常的好相貌……——另类?——查理·瓦尔迪兹!
You did not look nervous,
and you know what, you kind of have
offbeat good looks for someone...
- Offbeat? - Charlie Valdez!
-查理，过来!-他们在这里做什么?
- Charlie, over here! - What are they doing here?
放松。我们现在出名了。
Relax. We're famous now.
这是三对吗?
Is this a throuple?
你的妻子在哪里? !你为什么不和她一起住?!
Where's your wife?! Why don't you live with her?!
你为什么对我大喊大叫?
Why are you yelling at me?
-我就站在这里。-拜托，查理。
- I'm standing right here. - Come on, Charlie.
-我要进去了-你在干什么?
- I'm gonna go inside. - What are you doing?
——只是,嗯…-你现在是瓦尔迪兹先生吗?
- Just, um... - Are you now Mr. Valdez?
你在狗窝里吗?嗯?
Are you in the doghouse? Huh?
走几步就到了。
Gonna be a short walk.
进去。我来处理。
Go inside. I'll deal with this.
你已经被开除了?
You been kicked out already?
在人们的注视下，狗不能拉屎。
The dog can't shit if people are watching.
幸运的是，我只有在有人看着的时候才会拉屎，所以如果你觉得幸运的话……顺便说一下，我也很忙。
Luckily, I can only shit if people are watching,
so if you're feeling lucky...
I'm busy, too, by the way.
♪ ♪
你叫什么名字，宝贝?
What's your name, baby?
——珍妮丝。——珍妮丝。
- Janice. - Janice.
你今晚看起来真性感。
You look so sexy tonight.
我不知道你们怎么想，但是我早上起来的时候，我喜欢冥想。
I don't know about you guys,
but when I get up in the morning, I like to meditate.
我也喜欢喝新鲜的果汁。
I also love to have fresh juice.
所以我喜欢每天喝含有维他命的果汁。
So I like to juice daily with my Vitamix.
我们能吃点维生素吗?
Could we get a Vitamix?
我想每天喝果汁。
I'd like to juice daily.
来吧。把它放下。
Come on. Put that down.
晚餐时不要使用电子产品。
No electronics at dinner.
这叫什么?
What do you call that?
我叫它自然纪录片，这样我们就可以边吃边旅行了。
I call that a nature documentary,
so we can travel while we eat.
把它下来。
Put it down.
凯特是我的继母吗?
So, is Kat, like, my stepmom?
不,卢。来吧。
No, Lou. Come on.
爸爸，我觉得这次经历对你很有好处。
Dad, I think this experience is actually really good for you.
说我12岁?
Says my 12-year-old?
这是真的。我是说，你从来不会，没有计划就做事情。
It's true. I mean, you never just, like,
do things without planning them.
我觉得很酷。
I think it's cool.
我真的很想见见她。
I really want to meet her.
帕克说她又好又聪明还很性感。
I mean, Parker says she's nice
and smart and next-level hot.
她很好。……她是一个吸引…来，让我来吧。
She is nice. She is... She's an attract...
Here, let me get this.
爸，她刚在Instagram上有八千万粉丝。
Dad, she just hit 80 million followers on Instagram.
好吧。我没有印象。
Okay. I'm not impressed.
等她到了九千万再跟我说，好吗?
Talk to me when she gets to 90 million, okay?
卢，这不是真的。
Lou, it's not real.
这都是表面现象。
It's all a facade.
他们让我化了妆。
You know, they had me wearing makeup.
你现在化妆了?
You wear makeup now?
穿一次。我再也不会见你了。
Wore once. Never again.
你永远不会说不可能，但我不打算在接下来的几个月里和你一起做这件事。
Well, you never say never, but I don't plan on it
in the next couple months that we're doing this.
你一直说我不能见她吗?
And you're saying the whole time I can't meet her?
我觉得妈妈不会希望这样的。
I don't think Mom would want that.
事实上，妈妈也想见她。
Actually, Mom wants to meet her, too.
哦,完美。卢，你知道我们不是真的在一起。
Oh, perfect. Lou, you know that we're not really together.
她的经纪人负责策划。看。
Her manager stages things. Look.
-你有iPhone?-是的。
- You have an iPhone? - Yeah.
我是说，只是为了安排时间。
I mean, it's-it's just for scheduling.
他们让我使用它。
They're making me use it.
——嗯。-对，打保龄球，然后我们要去拍照，所以…啊哈。但你们有聊过吗?
- Huh. - Yeah, bowling,
and then we're gonna do a photo shoot, so...
Uh-huh. But do you guys, like, talk ever?
这只是宣传。这不是真实的。
It's just publicity. It's not real.
嗯。
Hmm.
是啊!来吧!
Yeah! Come on!
好了,轮到你。
Okay, your turn.
别紧张。只是,呃…这不是比赛 只是找点乐子。
Don't be nervous. It's just, uh...
It's not a competition. Just having fun.
呃,好吧,没有。从你拿球的方式来看我猜你没有打太多的保龄球。-我该怎么办?
Uh, okay, no. I'm guessing
from the way you're holding that that you haven't done
- too much bowling. - Uh, what do I do?
好吧,……你要把你的手指插进洞里。-是的。嗯哼。
Well, you... you're gonna want to put your fingers
- in the holes there. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.
这个,是的。把大拇指伸进去。
This one, yeah. Get your thumb in that one.
——那? 那个?好吧。——是的。然后走三步，你想落在你的左边，不要害怕使用那些小…
- There? That one? Okay. - Yep. And then take
three steps kind of.. You want to land on your left,
and don't be afraid to use those little...
一击总比一击多好，对吧?
A strike is better than a spare, right?
这不是你第一次打保龄球了。
That is not your first time bowling.
是的!你听到了吗?
Yes! Did you get that?
——加油!旧的击败。——是的!
- Come on! The old rope-a-dope. - Yes!
哦,我的上帝。
Oh, my God.
我希望我能在这上面下注，因为人们喜欢它。
I wish I put money on this, because people are loving it.
——什么人?-哦，这是Instagram上的实时动态，23.7万人在说，“他为什么这么无聊?”
- What people? - Oh, well, this is
an Instagram live feed, and 237,000 people
are like, "Why is he such a boring nerd?"
——梅尔。——什么?他们说的话，不是我说的。
- Mel. - What? Their words, not mine.
离开现场，梅尔。
Get off the live, Mel.
好吧。
All right.
我们的《今日秀》还需要一点B卷。
So, we just need a little bit more.
B roll for The Today Show.
我得回家找坦克了。
Well, I've-I've got to get home to Tank.
坦克是他女儿吗?——停止。
- Is Tank his daughter? - Stop.
——好的。-你一定要走?
- Okay. - You have to go?
是啊，如果你们跟我玩完的话。
Yeah, if you guys are done with me.
嗯哼。我们要去参加一个聚会。
Mm-hmm. We're going to a party.
你走。
You go.
家在哪儿?
Where's home?
哇。酷。
Wow. Cool.
谢谢。
Thanks.
是的，这是…凯特,见见狗狗。
Yeah, it's a, um...
Kat, meet dog.
我以前从没听过这个。
Wow, I never heard that one before.
对不起。真是太棒了。
Sorry. That was pretty... ruff.
你真幸运，梅尔没听到你这么说。
You are so lucky
that Mel didn't hear you say that.
不，我很幸运梅尔不在这里。
No, I'm lucky Mel isn't here.
我觉得你从不孤单。
I feel like you're never alone.
什么?我现在独自一人。
What? I'm alone now.
我是说，是的，除了科菲。
Well, I mean, yeah, other than Kofi.
无视他。
Just ignore him.
你所做的一切都被拍下来了吗?
Is everything you do filmed?
把钱存入银行。——倾斜?
- Banked. - Banked?
我的频道。
For my channel.
只是生活中的小插曲。
Just little mini episodes of life.
我们能跳过一集吗?
Uh, can-can we skip an episode?
想让我去吗?
Want me to go?
是的，你可以走了。
Yeah, you can go.
-明天见。——晚安。
- I'll see you tomorrow. - Good night.
-再见。是的。——快乐吗?
- I'll see you. Yeah. - Happy?
松了一口气。
Relieved.
这是你女儿吗?
Is this your daughter?
-是的。——她很可爱。
- Yeah. - She's cute.
谢谢。是的,她很好。
Thanks. Yeah, she's great.
虽然她还处在尴尬的中间阶段，她还是我的宝贝女儿，但她绝对不想和我有任何关系。
Although she is in that awkward in-between phase
where she's still my baby girl
but she definitely wants nothing to do with me.
你也不用再想拥抱了，因为这已经不再发生了，这让我很伤心，但事情就是这样。
And you can forget about getting hugs,
'cause it's not happening anymore,
which kind of breaks my heart, but that's the way it goes.
她妈妈怎么了?
What happened with her mom?
我是说，对不起，你不…这不关我的事。
I mean, I'm sorry, you don't...
You know, it's none of my business.
你不用告诉我。
You don't have to tell me.
不，不，没关系。嗯…我们结婚了，我们的婚姻很幸福。
No, no, it's okay. Um...
We were married, and we actually had a good marriage.
然后，我不知道，突然间，我感觉她不想要了或者她再也不想要我了，我只好让她走了。
You know, then,
I don't know, all of a sudden, I got the feeling
she didn't want it or she didn't want me anymore,
and I had nothing to do but let her go.
你知道，从统计学上讲，我们完蛋了，因为48%的婚姻以离婚告终，所以……这意味着52%的人在工作。
And, you know, statistically, we're screwed,
'cause 48% of marriages end in divorce, so...
That means 52% work.
啊,一个乐观主义者。
Ah, an optimist.
-太酷了。我可以吗?-是的。
- This is so cool. Can I? - Yeah.
然后我想当你到了第二第三个阶段，失败率就会上升到67%
And then I think when you get up to, like, second and third,
then it jumps up to, like, 67% failure rate.
即使是十亿分之一，又有什么关系呢?
Even if it's one in a billion, what does it matter?
值得一试。
It's worth a shot.
-是的。-是的。
- Yeah. - Yeah.
我相信婚姻。
I believe in marriage.
耶稣,还是?
Jesus, still?
你不是结过六次婚吗?
Haven't you been married like six times?
三次。
Three times.
不包括这个。这是四个。
Not including this. This is four.
但第一次只有48小时，所以不算。
But the first time was only 48 hours, so...
doesn't count.
但是，你是否曾经觉得，“我对婚姻举白旗投降了。就是这样。”
But still, do you ever feel like just kind of,
"I'm waving the white flag on marriage. That's it."
不，就像数学一样。
No, it's like math.
当你做错一个问题时，不要放弃它。
When you get a problem wrong, you just don't give up on it.
你要不断尝试，直到你做对为止。
You keep trying till you get it right.
那你和巴斯蒂安呢?
And what about you and Bastian?
你们在一起多久了?
How long were you guys together?
一年半了。
Mm, year and a half.
我刚和第二任丈夫离婚。
I'd just split from my second husband.
他是个音乐制作人，帮我做了上两张专辑然后卖了一盘性爱录像带。
He was a music producer who did, uh,
my last two albums and then sold a sex tape.
这还不是最糟糕的部分。
That's not the worst part.
最糟糕的是我以为我能解决问题。
The worst part is I thought I could fix things.
性爱录像是很难修复的。
Pretty hard to fix a sex tape.
对。
Right.
对不起。没事，只是打个盹。
Sorry. Yeah, it's just a little power nap.
踱来踱去。
Pacing himself.
Mm.
如果我们给他一分钟，他会重新开始的。
If we give him a minute, he'll-he'll restart.
——好的。-你刚才说什么?
- Okay. - But you were saying?
做这种生意的人，他们会把你打得屁滚蛋。
Well, this business, those type of guys,
they build you up to break you down.
但你已经很出名了，所以…这与名声无关。
But you were already famous, so...
It's not about fame.
你知道，这是关于信誉的。
You know, it's about credibility.
不管我有多成功。
It just didn't matter how successful I was.
他们从来没有给过我。
They never gave it to me.
你知道我从来没被提名过吗?
You know I've never been nominated for anything?
然后我遇到了巴斯蒂安。
And then I met Bastian.
……他给了我这个。
And he... and he gave me this.
“唱”。这是什么意思?
"Sing." What does that mean?
意思是“不要让他们赢。”
It means "don't let them win."
没有人是完全坏的，查理。
Nobody's all bad, Charlie.
如果是这样的话，事情就简单多了。
If they were, it would make it so much easier.
但是背着你和你的助理偷情是很严重的。
But cheating on you with your assistant is pretty bad.
好吧。
Okay.
动物园的伴侣。
Zoo mates.
动物园的伴侣。
Zoo mates.
你看，我们没什么不同，查理。
See, we're not so different, Charlie.
♬你知道我已经努力很久了 ♪ You know I tried so long ♪
来吧。来吧!这不是一个很大的…♪每次我以为我找到了，其实我错了 Come on. Come on! It's not a big... ♪ Every time I thought I found it, I was wrong ♪
Come on. Come on! It's not a big...
♪ Every time I thought I found it, I was wrong ♪
♬我发誓我一定花了一千个夜晚 ♪ I swear I must've spent a thousand nights ♪
♪ I swear I must've spent a thousand nights ♪
♪♪在寻找一个能把我抱紧的人 ♪ Lookin' for somebody who could hold me tight ♪
♪ Lookin' for somebody who could hold me tight ♪
♪直到我意识到♪ ♪ Until I realized ♪
♪我是你的爱人，我一生的爱人……♪ ♪ I am the love of, the love of my life... ♪
♪ I am the love of, the love of my life... ♪
马西亚诺兄弟和凯特·瓦尔迪兹告诉全世界没有年龄限制。
The Marciano brothers and Kat Valdez
are telling the world there's no age limit.
-是这样吗?——想是这样。
- Is that right? - Guess so.
♪我是爱人，我一生的爱人 ♪ I am the love of, the love of my life ♪
♪ I am the love of, the love of my life ♪
♪我是爱人，我一生的爱人 ♪ I am the love of, the love of my life ♪
♪ I am the love of, the love of my life ♪
♪我只是在等你…♪ ♪ I was just waiting for you... ♪
♪ I was just waiting for you... ♪
我们需要的东西都准备好了。
Think we've got everything we need.
我们会在社交网站上发布，所以…你都准备好了。
We'll post to our socials, so... you're all set.
好吧。
All right.
也许……我可以留下来吗?
Maybe... Is it okay if I stay?
哦,是的。
Oh, yeah.
是的,当然。
Yeah, of course.
别客气。
Make yourself at home.
♬我现在不能告诉你 ♪ I can't tell you now ♪
♪我不知道为什么，不知道为什么 ♪ I don't know why, don't know why ♪
♪ I don't know why, don't know why ♪
♬现在我要振作起来 ♪ And now I'll pick myself up ♪
♬再来一次，再来一次 ♪ One more time, one more time ♪
♬你知道我已经努力很久了 ♪ You know I tried so long ♪
♪每次我以为我找到了，其实我错了……♪ ♪ Every time I thought I found it, I was wrong... ♪
♪ Every time I thought I found it, I was wrong... ♪
——再见。——再见。
- Bye. - Bye.
-嗨。嘿,妈妈。
- Hey. - Hey, Mom.
你过得如何?
How you doing?
♬抱紧我 ♪ Hold me tight ♪
♪直到我意识到♪ ♪ Until I realized ♪
♪我是你的爱人，我一生的爱人……♪ ♪ I am the love of, the love of my life... ♪
♪ I am the love of, the love of my life... ♪
有张你给她买验孕棒的照片。
There's a picture of you buying her a pregnancy test.
——查理!——没有。
- Charlie! - No.
不，那是坦克的大便软化剂。
No, that was a stool softener for Tank.
♪我的心里没有别人♪ ♪ I ain't got nobody else on my mind... ♪
♪ I ain't got nobody else on my mind... ♪
凯特·瓦尔迪兹和她的新丈夫查理·吉尔伯特。
Kat Valdez and her new husband, Charlie Gilbert.
-我该怎么办?-站着微笑。
- Wh-What do I do? - Just stand and smile.
查理!查理!
Charlie! Charlie!
-天啊，是巴斯蒂安!-巴斯蒂安·!-巴斯蒂安·!
- Oh, my God, it's Bastian! - Bastian! -Bastian!
巴斯蒂安·,巴斯蒂安·巴斯蒂安·!在这里!在这里!
Bastian, Bastian, Bastian! Over here! Over here!
伙计们,这里。你们三个一起去怎么样?
Guys, this way. How about the three of you together?
别难过，伙计。是吗?
No hard feelings, man. Yeah?
完全没有感情。
No feelings at all.
嗯,mamacita。
Mm, mamacita.
巴斯蒂安，和你们三个一起。
Bastian, one with the three of you.
他对你说了什么?
What did he say to you?
凯特，巴斯蒂安，查理，这边!
Kat, Bastian, Charlie, this way!
-他说什么，查理?——看,巴斯蒂安·!巴斯蒂安·!
- What did he say, Charlie? - Look, Bastian! Bastian!
谢谢你,伙计。
Thank you, guys.
我的西班牙语有点生疏了，但他说:“你是我见过的最漂亮的女人。”
My Spanish is a little rusty, but he said,
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
“我真是个白痴。
"I'm such an idiot.
我为什么要在脖子上纹身?”
And why did I get that neck tattoo?"
你没事吧?
You okay?
我很好。
I'm good.
现在，你在哪里?
Now, where are you?
巴黎，一场秀。
Paris, for a show.
啊。
Ah.
——巴黎!-让全世界的人都知道你是谁是不是很奇怪?
- Paris! - Is it weird having
everyone in the world know who you are?
不，奇怪的是全世界的人都以为他们知道我是谁。
No, what's weird is that
everyone in the world thinks they know who I am.
是的,我敢打赌。
Yeah, I bet.
然后你就回家了?
And you're headed home after that?
我明天就回家了，但我在日本有个私人约会。
Well, um, I'm home tomorrow,
but then I have that private in Japan.
关注度高的一个私人吗?
Wh-What's a private?
我给十个富得发呆的人唱歌，赚了一大笔钱。
I get paid a fortune to sing songs
to like ten insanely rich people.
你觉得他们会想看别人做数学题吗?
Do you think maybe they'd want
to watch someone do some math problems?
——我问。-好吧，我放你走，但如果你寂寞了就打电话给我。
- I'll ask. - All right, well,
I'll let you go, but call me if you're lonely.
喂?
Hello?
我是孤独的。
I'm lonely.
才过了13秒。
It's been like 13 seconds.
你在刷牙吗?
Are you brushing your teeth?
——是的。-你要睡觉吗?
- Yes. - Are you going to bed?
大概是晚上8点。
It-it's like 8:00 p.m. there.
嗯,也许吧。
Um, maybe.
——哇。-我要看书了。
- Wow. - Well, I'm gonna read.
我不会直接上床睡觉的。
I'm not gonna go right to bed.
卢怎么样?
How's Lou?
她真的很好。
She's really good.
她终于同意加入数学俱乐部了，这让我很高兴，因为她的数学很出色，尽管她不想。
She finally agreed to join the math club,
which makes me happy 'cause she's phenomenal at math
even though she doesn't want to be.
也许她只是不想成为你。
Well, maybe she just doesn't want to be you.
这是确定的。
That's for certain.
但事实并非如此。
But it's not really that.
更重要的是她很害怕，她11岁的时候差点就赢得了马泰伦冠军。
It's-it's more that she's afraid, and,
you know, she almost won the Mathalon when she was 11.
——Mathalon吗?-是的，马泰伦。
- The Mathalon? - Yeah, the Mathalon.
这有点像数学方面的格莱美奖，只不过观众席里有四个人。
It's kind of like the Grammys for math,
except there's like four people in the audience.
——啊。-她在决赛时僵住了，然后一些孩子取笑她…我只是想让她找到自己的位置。
- Ah. - She kind of froze in the finals,
and then some kids made fun of her and...
I just want her to find her place.
给她点时间。
Just give her a minute.
是的,当然。
Yeah, definitely.
好吧，我很高兴你孤独。
Okay, well, I'm glad you were lonely.
我想我该让你睡觉了。
I guess I'll let you get to bed now.
——好的。——再见。
- Okay. - Bye.
再见。再见。
So long. Adios.
再见。
Bye.
见到你。
See you.
是的。
Yeah.
好的，在你完成质数分解之后，找出不同的质数因子。
Okay, after you've completed the prime factorization,
identify the distinct prime factor.
好了，听着，柯立芝皮松。
All right, listen up, Coolidge Pi-thons.
-我是来办公务的。-Park…首先，谁没有签署弃权书?
- I'm here on official business. - Park...
First of all, who didn't get their waiver signed?
好了，你们两个，出去。
All right, you two, out.
你不能就这么开除我的学生。
Hey, y-you can't just dismiss my students.
是的,我能。
Yes, I can.
你听到我说的了，滚开，滚开！
You heard me. Scram. Beat it!
现在，对于那些知道如何听从指示的人，我为你们带来了一个，唯一的…
Now, for the rest of you
who know how to follow direction,
I bring you the one, the only...
凯特，我爱你!
Kat, I love you!
珀西,别喊了，她就在这里。
Percy, stop yelling. She's right here.
嗨。
Hi.
我还以为你有私人财产呢。
Thought you had a private for, like, a fortune.
我重新安排。
I rescheduled.
好了，谁有问题要问凯特?
All right, who's got a question for Kat?
-哦，我有!我有!——我!我!
- Oh, I do! I do! - Me! Me!
说点聪明的话。
Say something smart.
不要让我难堪。
Don't embarrass me.
哦,乔治。
Uh, George.
你真的亲了凯蒂·佩里吗?
Did you really kiss Katy Perry?
事实上，她吻了我。
Actually, she kissed me.
——哦。——下一个。
- Ooh. - Next.
哦!
Oh!
呃,不是乔治。
Uh, Not George.
——斯宾塞。——不在乎。
- Spencer. - Don't care.
为什么吉尔伯特先生比巴斯蒂安好?
Why is Mr. Gilbert better than Bastian?
嗯…他没有背着我和我的助理搞外遇。
Well...
he didn't cheat on me with my assistant.
哦。
Ooh.
好吧，你们正好在我们模拟马萨隆人的训练中发现了我们，欢迎你们留下来享受一下。
Okay, you guys caught us right in the middle
of our mock Mathalon training,
which you're welcome to stay and enjoy for a little bit.
卢，该你了。
Uh, Lou, you're up.
——爸爸,不。-那是卢吗?
- Dad, no. - Is that Lou?
是的。
Yeah.
终于。嗨。
Finally. Hi.
我一直都想见你。
I've wanted to meet you forever.
我也是。
Me, too.
你在开玩笑吗?他们还没见过吗?
Are you kidding me? They haven't met?
——没有。-你怎么了?
- No. - What is wrong with you?
——好吧,他们……你结婚了。
- Well, they... - You're married.
我们能忘了模拟马塔隆吗?
Can we forget about the mock Mathalon?
我有好多问题要问凯特。
I have a million questions for Kat.
是啊，而且卢也不敢在人前站起来。
Yeah, and Lou's too scared to get up
in front of people anyways.
闭嘴,何塞。
Shut up, Jose.
哦，好吧，别担心。我完全明白。
Oh, well, don't worry. I totally get it.
你知道，有时候当我站在一个有成千上万人的舞台前时，我会很紧张。
You know, sometimes when I have to get up in front of an arena
with thousands and thousands of people, I get so nervous.
不,我是认真的。我怕我会窒息。
No, I'm serious. I'm afraid I'll choke.
好了，梅尔，调出《2010年凯特录影带大奖》
Okay, Mel, pull up "Kat VMAs 2010."
-我知道了。-哦,好的。
- I've got it. - Oh, okay.
——嘿,谷歌。-看看这个。
- Hey, Google. - Look at this.
给我看一段视频:“Kat Valdez 2010 VMA的表演。”
"Kat Valdez 2010 VMA performance."
♬9号，是的，我要往上走 ♪ Number nine, yeah, I'm going up ♪
♪ Number nine, yeah, I'm going up ♪
♪♪我越来越嗨 ♪ I'm getting so high ♪
♪我不是那个…♪ ♪ I'm not the sa... ♪
嘿,谷歌。
Hey, Google.
这就够了。
That's enough.
是的。
Yeah.
我忘了电视直播时我写的一首歌的歌词。
I forgot the lyrics on live TV
to a song that I wrote.
这可能发生在任何人身上。
It could happen to anybody.
是啊，但关键是一旦发生了，你就会一直担心，知道吗?
Yeah, but the point is that once it does,
you're always worried, you know?
如果它再次发生怎么办?
What if it happens again?
你做了什么?
What did you do?
我转移注意力。
I shifted focus.
我的舞跳得太用力了，以至于我只能把注意力集中在舞步上。
I made my dance so hard
that all I could do was concentrate on the steps.
你好像分心了。
So, it's like you distracted your mind.
是的。完全正确。
Yes. Exactly.
专注于舞步让我忘记了自己有多害怕。
Concentrating on the dance steps made me forget how scared I was.
梅尔，我们需要一些扬声器。
Mel, we're gonna need some speakers.
不要太吵，对吧?
Not too loud, right?
♬我刚拿到钱……♪ ♪ I just got paid... ♪
嘿!
Hey!
和两个。
And two.
解放你的思想，三，四。
And free your mind, and three and four.
转个弯，三，四。
Make a turn, three and four.
再次，3和4。
Again, three and four.
♪不知道我们要去哪里……♪ ♪ Don't know where we're going... ♪
♪ Don't know where we're going... ♪
一，二，三，四。
And one and two, and three and four.
问一个问题，三，四。
And ask a question, three and four.
快点，恰克，三，四。
Look alive, Chuck, three and four.
哦,呃,好吧。
Oh, uh, okay.
卢，43乘以101是多少?
Lou, what is 43 times 101?
- 4-3-4-3。——是的!
- 4-3-4-3. - Yes!
是的，你着火了。是的!
Yes, you're on fire. Yes!
你搞砸了，查理，三，四。
You're ruining it, Charlie, three and four.
15、守住时间，再来三，再来四。
Keep the time, and three and four.
并将。
And turn.
埃丝特，5的阶乘是多少?
Esther, what is five factorial?
嗯,120。
Uh, 120.
是啊!
Yeah!
所有的天才都有节奏。
All geniuses with rhythm.
♬我刚拿到钱……♪ ♪ I just got paid... ♪
去,珀西。去,珀西。
Go, Percy. Go, Percy.
去,珀西。
Go, Percy.
去,Tristen。去,Tristen。去,Tristen。
Go, Tristen. Go, Tristen. Go, Tristen.
去,何塞。去,何塞。去,何塞。去,何塞。
Go, Jose. Go, Jose. Go, Jose. Go, Jose.
去,利亚。去,利亚。去,利亚。
Go, Leah. Go, Leah. Go, Leah.
去,凯特。去,凯特。去,凯特。去,凯特。
Go, Kat. Go, Kat. Go, Kat. Go, Kat.
♬我只是拿了钱 ♪ I just got paid ♪
♪给我那个，给我那个，给我那个♪ ♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪给我那个，给我那个，给我那个♪ ♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪给我钱，给我钱♪ ♪ Give me that money, give me that money ♪
♪ Give me that money, give me that money ♪
♪♪把钱给我♪♪我刚拿到钱 - ♪ Give me that money ♪ - ♪ I just got paid ♪
- ♪ Give me that money ♪ - ♪ I just got paid ♪
♪给我那个，给我那个，给我那个♪ ♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪给我那个，给我那个，给我那个♪ ♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪ Give me that, give me that, give me that ♪
♪给我钱，给我钱♪ ♪ Give me that money, give me that money ♪
♪ Give me that money, give me that money ♪
♬把钱给我 ♪ Give me that money ♪
♬我刚拿到钱。♪ ♪ I just got paid. ♪
是什么词?
What are the words?
我还没想好呢。
Uh, I haven't figured that out yet.
事实上，我试得越多，就越难。
And, actually, the more I try, the harder it gets.
当我做不出作业的时候，我爸爸会说:“如果你坐在题目里，答案就会找到你。”
You know, when I can't figure out homework stuff,
my dad says, "If you sit in the question,
the answer finds you."
嗯。
Hmm.
是吗?
And does it?
我不知道。…我坐的时间不够长。
I don't know. I...
I don't sit long enough.
是的。
Yeah.
这也是我的问题。
That's my problem, too.
你喜欢我爸爸吗?
So, do you like my dad?
我是说，他有时很烦人，但他也很聪明，人也很好。
I mean, he can be so annoying,
but he's also, like, really smart and nice.
你知道吗，你爸爸说你是他最好的东西。
You know, your dad says you're the best thing about him.
这可能是真的。
That's probably true.
把它放在这里。
Let's put it right over here.
哇。
Whoa.
-这些东西都是给你的吗?——教练。
- Is all this stuff for you? - Coach.
这又是一份代言协议吗?
Is this another endorsement deal?
不。
No.
他们在给"成功着装"捐赠商品，这是我合作的一个慈善机构。
They're donating merchandise to Dress for Success,
which is a charity that I work with.
太棒了。
That's awesome.
你喜欢什么?
You like?
我的爱。
I love.
——没有。-是的。
- No way. - Yeah.
我可以吗?
Can I?
别担心。我会还他们钱的。
Don't worry. I'll pay them back.
-好吧，来吧。——谢谢。
- Okay, come on. - Thank you.
你的书包里还有一些课本。
You got another bag in here with some textbooks.
——谢谢。-你在开玩笑吗?
- Thank you. - Are you kidding?
我爱它。
I love it.
-我得送她回家——什么?
- I got to get her home. - What?
-是的。是的。——已经?不。
- Yeah. Yeah. - Already? No.
好吧。
Okay.
我爱Keats。
I love Keats.
——哦。…停。你在干什么?
- Oh. - Wha...
Stop. What are you doing?
-我杀了它。——这不是……听着，我要说的可能是完全错误的... ...但没有这些你也很美。
- I killed it. - It's not...
Listen, I'm gonna say something
that's probably gonna come out completely wrong...
...but you're beautiful without all of that.
——哦。-我是说，不管怎样，你都可以走了。
- Aw. - I mean, either way, you're...
good to go.
-可以走了吗?-可以走了。
- Good to go? - Good to go.
好吧，我要了。
Okay, I'll take it.
你是个好老师，查理。
You're a great teacher, Charlie.
那些孩子，有你在他们很幸运。
Those kids, they're lucky to have you.
我不知道，今天和你们在一起让我觉得自己很正常。
I don't know, hanging with you guys today
made me feel kind of normal.
7点出发去波多黎各。
Wheels up for Puerto Rico at 7:00.
哦,我的错。
Oh, my bad.
我以为只有你一个人。
I thought you were by yourself.
波多黎各。
Puerto Rico.
嗯，我的朋友们，那里有一家提供住宿和早餐的旅馆，所以…这是……听着,……如果你觉得巴斯蒂安是你的真命天子，那我就送你去机场。
Um, my friends, they have a bed-and-breakfast there, so...
That's...
Listen, if-if... if Bastian is the guy
that you think you're supposed to be with,
then, hell, I'll drive you to the airport.
但是如果你不确定... ...那明晚和我一起去秋季半正式舞会吧。
But if you're not sure...
...then come with me
to the fall semiformal tomorrow night.
是的，他们需要监护人。
Yeah, they need chaperones.
也许你需要有人陪伴。
Maybe you need chaperoning.
听着，我不是以你丈夫或朋友的身份说这些话的，因为严格来说我也不是，但如果你回到巴斯蒂安那里，你是不是又在犯同样的错误...再次?
Listen, I'm not saying this
as your husband or even as your friend,
because technically I'm not either,
but if you go back to Bastian, aren't you just making
the same mistake all over again... again?
♪ ♪
你是在邀请我参加学校舞会吗?
Are you asking me to the school dance?
我可以在你的储物柜里留个便条，但是... ...现在是自由时间，所以我想试试。
Well, I could leave a note in your locker, but...
...here we are in free period, so I figured I'd take my shot.
欢迎。
Welcome.
原谅我。哦，等等，等等，等等。
Excuse me. Oh, wait, wait, wait.
来吧。好吧。
Come on. Okay.
能把你的左手腕给我吗?
Can I have your left wrist?
我的左…好吧。
My left wr.. Okay.
哦,我的上帝。
Oh, my God.
多么甜蜜。
How sweet.
对了，我还给你买了这个。
Oh, and I also got you this to give me.
非常感谢大家。
So thank you very much.
-我很高兴我想到了。-这是我的最爱。
- I'm glad I thought of that. - It's my favorite.
……你看起来……我们去跳舞吧。
You look in...
You look...
Let's go to the dance.
出于对这对夫妇的尊重。
Out of respect for Mr. and Mrs.
吉尔伯特·海芬·瓦尔迪兹，我们希望健身房是无照片区，所以请在门口检查手机。
Gilbert-hyphen-Valdez,
we would like the gym to be a photo-free zone,
so please check your phones at the door.
你做这一切都是为了我?
You did all this for me?
我可能得到了一点帮助。
I might've had a little help.
这样吧，科菲，你今晚休息一下吧?
You know what, Kofi, why don't you take the night off?
需要你的时候我会告诉你的。
I'll let you know when I need you.
好吧。祝你们玩得愉快。
All right. Have a good time, y'all.
好吧。好吧。
Okay. All right.
无监督。
Unsupervised.
我要抓取你的搜索记录发给你妈妈。
I'm gonna screen-grab your search history
and send it to your mother.
这是一个保证。
That's a guarantee.
-嗨。-嗨。
- Hey. - Hey.
-你好吗?-很高兴见到你。
- How are you? - Good to see you.
♪ ♪
杀了音乐!
Kill the music!
一，二，三，四。
A-one, two, three, four.
触及它。
Hit it.
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我……♪ ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes... ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes... ♪
你在干什么?
What are you doing?
你知道吗，孩子们为流行明星演出现在很受欢迎。
You know, kids opening for pop stars
is very big these days.
♪我从未见过永远……♪ ♪ I've never seen forever... ♪
合唱团什么时候学的《嫁给我》
When did the glee club learn "Marry Me"?
当查理·吉尔伯特变成查理·瓦尔迪兹。
When Charlie Gilbert became Charlie Valdez.
-我饿了，皮茨先生——继续唱!
- I'm hungry, Mr. Pitts. - Keep singing!
你真是鼓舞人心，皮茨。
You're an inspiration, Pitts.
你也一样，吉尔伯特。
Right back at you, Gilbert.
天啊，他们太可爱了。
Oh, my God, they are so adorable.
——嗯…——谢谢。
- Uh... - Thank you.
如果你能。
If you could.
嗯,是的,好的。
Um, yeah, okay.
"敬乔纳森·格雷戈里·皮茨，同为歌曲设计师的人"
"To Jonathan Gregory Pitts,
a fellow architect of song."
好吧，让她喘口气。
Okay, let her breathe just a little bit.
来吧。
Come on.
-♬铃声，铃声，铃声♪ - ♪ Ring, ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Ring, ring ♪
- ♪ Ring, ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Ring, ring ♪
♪教堂的钟声，让它们敲响，敲响，敲响……♪ ♪ Church bells, let 'em ring, ring, ring... ♪
♪ Church bells, let 'em ring, ring, ring... ♪ -
爱与光。
Love and light.
-爱与光。——好的。减少!
- Love and light. - Okay. Cut!
-♬今晚，今晚。♬把音乐带回来! - ♪ Tonight, tonight. ♪ - Bring the music back!
- ♪ Tonight, tonight. ♪ - Bring the music back!
♬让我满意……♪ ♪ Keep me satisfied... ♪
我们有工作了吗?
So, do we have a job?
我们有职责吗?我们该怎么办?
Do we have duties? What do we do?
是的,我们做的。我们得监视。
Yes, we do. We got to monitor.
我们得带路。我们要鼓励。
We got to guide. We got to encourage.
——好的。-我们可能要泄气了。
- Okay. - We might have to discourage.
我们可能得分开了。
We might have to separate.
也许以后……跳舞吗?
And maybe later... mm, dance?
我觉得你不会想看到的。
I don't think you want to see that.
哦,我做的。我确实想看。
Oh, I do. I do want to see that.
你看到我的胸花了吗?
Did you see my corsage?
我看到了。
I did.
♪ ♪
嘿!
Hey!
是啊，我也想拍一部。
Oh, yeah, I want to do one.
——准备好了吗?——是的。
- Ready? - Yep.
好吧。
Okay.
拿着这个。
Hold this.
你在干什么?
What are you doing?
一个私人。
A private.
嘿,每一个人。
Hey, everybody.
这是我第一次参加半正式舞会，我想谢谢你们让我在这里过夜。
This is my first semiformal,
and, uh,
I just want to thank you guys for letting me crash.
我们爱你，凯特!
We love you, Kat!
谢谢你,帕克。
Thank you, Parker.
也爱你。
Love you, too.
你们介意我唱首歌吗?
Uh, you guys mind if I do a song?
哦,我的上帝。哦,我的上帝。
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
我在你这么大的时候就写了这首歌。
I actually wrote this song when I was about your age.
这首歌收录在我的第一张专辑里。
It was on my very first album.
它叫“爱后”。
It's called "After Love."
你们可能不知道。
You guys may not know it.
——我做!——哦。你想上来和我一起做吗?
- I do! - Oh. Do you want to come
up here and do it with me?
——你玩吗?——Y-Yeah。
- You play? - Y-Yeah.
让我们做它。
Let's do it.
掌声送给同为歌曲设计师的皮茨先生。
Give it up for a fellow architect of song, Mr. Pitts.
-皮特!-皮特先生!
- Pitts! - Mr. Pitts!
准备好了吗?
Ready?
三,四。
Three, four.
♪长夜在你车里♪ ♪ Long nights in your car ♪
♪早晨在你的怀里♪ ♪ Mornings in your arms ♪
♪从5小时呼叫♪ ♪ From five-hour calls ♪
♪到一无所有♪ ♪ To nothing at all ♪
♬我想我错过了暗示 ♪ I guess I missed the signs ♪
♬墙上的字，ooh♬ ♪ The writing on the wall, ooh ♪
♪不知道哪里出了问题♪ ♪ Don't know where it all went wrong ♪
♪ Don't know where it all went wrong ♪
♪但如果这是注定的结局♪ ♪ But if this is how it's got to be ♪
♪ But if this is how it's got to be ♪
♪我需要有人告诉我，告诉我，告诉我，告诉我 ♪ I need someone to tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me ♪
♪ I need someone to tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me ♪
♪爱情之后是什么?♪ ♪ What comes after love? ♪
♪。我想知道在我们之后还有什么东西等着我♪ ♪ I want to know there's something for me after us ♪
♪ I want to know there's something for me after us ♪
♪。我想我的心生来就不该这么碎。♪ ♪ I don't think my heart was made to break this much ♪
♪ I don't think my heart was made to break this much ♪
♪告诉我有幸福的爱情 ♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after love ♪
♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after love ♪
♪告诉我，我们以后会幸福的♪ ♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after us ♪
♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after us ♪
♪。我相信，我相信 ♪ I believe, I believe ♪
♪我相信爱情 ♪ I believe in love ♪
♪。即使，即使这不是我们的宿命♪ ♪ Even if, even if it wasn't meant for us ♪
♪ Even if, even if it wasn't meant for us ♪
♪我相信，我相信，我相信爱情 ♪ I believe, I believe, I believe in love ♪
♪ I believe, I believe, I believe in love ♪
♪。我只是需要有人告诉我。♪ ♪ I just need someone to tell me ♪
♪ I just need someone to tell me ♪
♬告诉我，告诉我，告诉我 ♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me ♪
♪爱情之后是什么?♪ ♪ What comes after love? ♪
♪。我想知道在我们之后还有什么东西等着我♪ ♪ I want to know there's something for me after us ♪
♪ I want to know there's something for me after us ♪
♪。我想我的心生来就不该这么碎。♪ ♪ I don't think my heart was made to break this much ♪
♪ I don't think my heart was made to break this much ♪
♪告诉我有幸福的爱情 ♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after love ♪
♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after love ♪
♪告诉我我们以后会很幸福。♪ ♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after us. ♪
♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after us. ♪
——谢谢。谢谢你！谢谢你！——谢谢。
- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you.
非常感谢你们!
Thank you guys so much!
这是我最喜欢的新歌。
Well, that is my new favorite song.
你以前最喜欢的歌曲是什么?
What was your old favorite song?
嗯…我不知道，这对你来说可能有点太紧张了，但我妈妈生病的时候，我们看了很多音乐剧，她最喜欢的是《卡米洛特》
Um... I don't know,
this might be a little too edgy for you to handle,
but when my mom was sick, we watched a lot of musicals,
and her favorite was Camelot.
Mm.
就像《权力的游戏》但少了裸体和谋杀。
You know, it was like Game of Thrones
but less nudity and murder.
更多的音乐和天鹅绒。
More music and velvet.
但是，无论如何，当兰斯洛特想要告诉圭内维尔他的感受时，他没有说，“我想和你在一起”，而是说，“我们要分手了。”这是不可避免的。”
But, anyway, when Lancelot
wants to tell Guenevere how he feels,
instead of saying, "I want to be with you,"
he says, "We're gonna split up. It's inevitable."
这有点令人沮丧。
That's a little depressing.
不，当你听到的时候就不是了。
No, not when you hear it.
“如果我要离开你，也不会是在夏天。”
"If ever I were to leave you, it wouldn't be in summer."
♪如果我真的离开你 ♪ If ever I would leave you ♪
♬不会在夏天 ♪ It wouldn't be in summer ♪
♪见你的夏天，我永远不会走 ♪ Seeing you in summer, I never would go ♪
♪ Seeing you in summer, I never would go ♪
——很高兴。-是的。
- It's nice. - Yeah.
♬你的头发被阳光斑驳 ♪ Your hair streaked with sunlight ♪
♪ Your hair streaked with sunlight ♪
你的唇红如火……♪ ♪ Your lips red as flame... ♪
-和我跳舞吧。-不，我不跳舞。
- Dance with me. - No, I don't dance.
来吧。与我共舞。
Come on. Dance with me.
只有一点点。
Just a little bit.
好了。
There we go.
怎么可能是秋天呢?♪ ♪ How could it be in autumn? ♪
♪我该如何在秋天离开♪ ♪ How I'd leave in autumn ♪
♪我永远不会知道…♪ ♪ I never would know... ♪
我们是不是应该听听巴里 · 怀特或者德雷克或者其他你想听的音乐，你知道…什么?
Shouldn't we be listening to Barry White or Drake...
...or whatever it is you listen to
when you're about to, you know...
To what?
…我不想假设这将是我人生中最美好的一晚，但如果是的话，我可不想对罗伯特·古利特这么做。
Well...
Well, I don't want to presume
that I'm about to have the best night of my life,
but if I am, I don't want to do it to Robert Goulet.
我喜欢它。
I like it.
你会怎么做?
You do?
♪当你抓住火焰的光芒 ♪ When you catch the fire's glow ♪
♪ When you catch the fire's glow ♪
很多。
A lot.
♪如果我真的离开你 ♪ If ever I would leave you ♪
♬怎么可能是在春天 ♪ How could it be in springtime ♪
♪ How could it be in springtime ♪
♪不知如何在春天♪ ♪ Knowing how in spring ♪
♪我就这样被你迷住了?♪ ♪ I'm bewitched by you so? ♪
♬哦，不，不是在春天……♪ ♪ Oh, no, not in springtime... ♪
这是聪明的吗?
Is this smart?
我想我们六周前就离开了。
I think we left smart six weeks ago.
♪ ♪
——早上。——早上。
- Morning. - Morning.
感谢上帝你来了。
Thank God you're here.
因为我有一分钟的时间
'Cause I did have just a minute of:
“她去了?她离开了吗?”
"Is she gone? Did she leave?"
我说，“天啊，……“我知道你们摇滚明星走得很快，去下一个城市，就像，就是爱……”
I was like, "God, just..."
"I know you rock stars move fast,
"-on to the next town, like, just love..."
哦,上帝。给，拿着。
Oh, God. Here, take it.
嘿。
Hey.
嘿，昨晚怎么样?
Hey, how was last night?
——不可思议。——等。你在哪里?
- Amazing. - Wait. Where are you?
-你是和…-是的。查理。
- Are you with, uh... - Yeah. Charlie.
——还是?——仍然。
- Still? - Still.
“查理。还。”
"Charlie. Still."
把时间挪到周二吧。
Let's just move that to Tuesday.
但是他们在等你。
But they're expecting you.
对不起。告诉他们不要。
Sorry. Just tell 'em no.
——好的。——好的。
- Okay. - Okay.
我稍后再打给你。
I'll call you later.
你是不是为我重新安排了一天?
Did I hear you just rearranging your day for me?
也许吧。
Maybe.
和欢迎你。
And you're welcome.
谢谢你！
Thank you.
你和你妈妈?
You and your mom?
是的，在科尼岛。
Yeah, at Coney Island.
想知道轮。
The Wonder Wheel.
我们把它叫做"许愿轮"
Well, we actually called it "the wishing wheel."
是的。我们喜欢去那里。
Yeah. We loved going out there.
不过上次我带她去的时候，因为是冬天所以没开。
Although the last time that I took her out there,
it was closed 'cause it was winter.
就在她去世之前。
It was, like, right before she passed away.
-哦，对不起。——不,不。
- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, no.
没关系。我喜欢谈论她。
It-It's okay. I like talking about her.
那是很久以前的事了，那时卢大概五岁，但他们肯定在一起度过了一些美好的时光。
It happened a while ago when Lou was like five, but...
they definitely got to spend some good times together.
我竟然在卢身上看到了她这么多。
And it's crazy how much of her I see in Lou.
你觉得她会喜欢我吗?
You think she would've liked me?
不。
No.
什么?
What?
是的，她会爱你的。
Yes, she would've loved you.
她会觉得你很了不起的。
She would've thought you were amazing.
我是说，她可能会质疑一些事情。
I mean, she might have questioned a few things.
……嗯，她非常自信。
She was very...
Well, she was very self-sufficient.
我是这个星球上最自给自足的人。
Well, I'm, like, the most self-sufficient
person on the planet.
-我是说，我一天做的事情比…-不 我知道。
- I mean, I do more things in one day than... - No, I know.
我知道你喜欢。我不是这个意思。
I know you do. I'm not saying that.
我是说，你有很多人，你知道，处理事情。
I'm saying you have a lot of people,
you know, kind of handling things.
找人帮忙没什么错。
There's nothing wrong with having help.
我是说，这并不意味着我无能为力。
I mean, it doesn't mean I'm helpless.
这只是意味着我有很多事情要做。
It just means that I have a lot of things on my plate.
我知道，但你可能不像你以为的那样需要那么多人的帮助。
I know, but you might not need as many people helping you
as you think you do.
那么，你在说什么?
So, what are you saying?
你想让我一个人待着吗?
You want me to try being alone?
因为我现在可以一个人去。
Because I could go be alone right now.
不，不，我们先说清楚。
No, no, uh, let's be clear.
"孤独"是指没有帮助，不是没有我。
"Alone" means without help, not alone without me.
等待。
Wait.
这是个挑战吗?
Is this a challenge?
现在你明白了。
Now you get it.
-你在挑战我吗?-是的。哦,是的。
- What, are you challenging me? - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
是啊，但我们要把它变成一个真正的挑战，好吗?
Yeah, but let's make it a real challenge, okay?
——好的。-也就是说没有门卫。
- Okay. - That means without doormen.
——没有yes-Melissa。——好。
- Without yes-Melissa. - Fine.
没有厨师，没有清洁剂，没有增发剂。
Without cooks,
without cleaners, without hair extenders.
是的，这很严重。
Yeah, this is serious.
没有live-feeding。
Without live-feeding.
没有持续的拍摄更新。
Without constant filming updates.
没有那些小的东西。一去不复返了。
Without all that little stuff. Gone.
好吧。我能做到。
Okay. I can do that.
——好的。-你要怎么做?
- Okay. - What are you gonna do?
我?…你知道，我会去的。
Me? I'm... You know, I'm gonna be there.
我来监视。
I'm gonna monitor.
Mm.
不错的尝试,老兄。
Nice try, buddy.
——好的。——什么?
- Okay. - What?
你会出现在社交媒体上。
You're gonna get on social media.
——没有。——是的。
- No. - Yes.
来吧,这是……这是关于你的。
Come on, that's... This is about you.
你要上社交媒体。
You're gonna go on social media.
你会有Snapchat、Instagram和TikTok。
You're gonna have Snapchat and Instagram and TikTok.
-你要跳支舞!是的!-这是你的事
- You're gonna do a dance! Yes! - This is about you.
-别乱扔。——不,听。
- Don't flip it. - No, listen.
你为什么这么挑剔?
Why are you so judgmental?
它是如此疯狂。
It's so crazy.
不，听着，这将是一件很棒的事。
No, look, this is gonna be a great thing.
对于你这个老师来说，这是一个很棒的平台。
It's an amazing platform for you as a teacher.
说真的。
Seriously.
如果你不做，我也不做。
If you don't do it, I'm not doing it.
好吧。
Okay.
这就是你的小逃亡?
So, this is your little getaway?
不行 锁上了。
Nope. It's locked.
什么在那里?
Nothing under there?
天啊。该死。
Gosh. Dang it.
杰夫,你能……不，不，那是作弊。
Jeff, can you...
No, no, th-that's cheating.
来吧。你打算怎么办?
Come on. What are you gonna do?
你有个小问题。
You got a little problem.
有时候你不得不让步。
Sometimes you just got to concede.
没关系。
It's okay.
你真的很想赢。
You really like to win.
是的!
Yes!
来吗?
Coming?
很抱歉我找不到酒杯。
I'm sorry I couldn't find the wine glasses.
这样更好
It's better.
客厅。
Living room.
呃,这……哦,不。声音。
Ugh, this...
Uh, no. Sound.
哦,我的上帝。
Oh, my God.
——耶稣!-这是谁的房子?
- Jesus! - Whose house is this?
好吧，这样可以抵消破窗带来的微风。
Well, that actually could be nice
to offset the breeze from the broken window.
-我们可以做s'mores。-我喜欢棉花糖。
- We can make s'mores. - I like s'mores.
——我也是。-是的。
- Me, too. - Yeah.
♪爱情之后是什么……♪ ♪ What comes after love... ♪
我要自己做这些冰沙。
I am going to make us these smoothies all by myself.
♪。我想我的心生来就不该这么碎。♪ ♪ I don't think my heart was made to break this much ♪
♪ I don't think my heart was made to break this much ♪
♪告诉我有个幸福的结局…♪ ♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after us... ♪
♪ Tell me there's a happy ever after us... ♪
我想你可能忘了这个。
I think you may have forgotten this.
天啊，他开通账号才45分钟，就已经有50万粉丝了。
Jesus, he's had an account for 45 minutes,
and he already has half a million followers.
-天啊。看。- 50万?
- Oh, my God. Look. - Half a million?
现在你需要自己的网页。
Now you need your own web page.
已经在Wix.com上创建了。
Already created it on Wix.com.
“数字涅瓦河撒谎。”
"Numbers Neva Lie."
-太好了。-说得好。
- Oh, that's perfect. - That is a good one.
-我喜欢。你喜欢吗?-是的，是的，我很喜欢。
- I love that. Do you love that? - Yeah, yeah, I do like it.
那么，你希望你的标题是什么，G先生?
So, what do you want your caption to be, Mr. G?
“如果你坐在问题里，答案就会找到你。”
"If you sit in the question,
the answer will find you."
抱歉，我在Instagram上看这个人。
Sorry, I was checking out this guy on Instagram.
哦。我应该嫉妒吗?
Oh. Should I be jealous?
他听起来很有趣也很帅。
He sounds very interesting and handsome.
只是发一些关于数学的东西。
Just posting about all this math stuff.
哦，其中一个。
Oh, one of those.
给你带了个苹果。
Brought you an apple.
♪ ♪
生日快乐，第一部分。
Happy birthday, part one.
哦。谢谢你！
Oh. Thank you.
我上个生日的时候，我参加了一个数学会议在波科诺斯。
Yeah, on my last birthday,
I was at a math conference in the Poconos.
哦!
Oh!
-我有很多事情要做。——是的。
- I have a lot to live up to. - Yes.
——打开它!——好的。
- Open it! - Okay.
比如，一块手帕或者…转身。
Like, a handkerchief or...
Turn around.
哦，这是眼罩。
Oh, it's a blindfold.
哦。
Oh.
我有点吃惊。
I'm a little taken aback.
我不知道你喜欢这个 -但不管你喜欢什么。——嘘。
I, uh, didn't know this was your thing,
- but whatever you're... into. - Shh.
-好的，一直往前走。——好的。
- Okay, straight ahead. - Okay.
我得说，我开始兴奋了。
I got to say, I'm getting excited.
-你应该担心。——好的。
- You should be. - Okay.
等等,转身。
Wait, turn around.
它不是piñata。
It's not a piñata.
也许吧。好吧。
Maybe. Okay.
就是它，就在那里。
That's it, right there.
-这就是我需要你的地方。-是的。哦,是的。
- That's where I need you. - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
——你准备好了吗?——好的。
- You ready? - Okay.
生日快乐。
Happy birthday.
不。
No.
如何?
How?
我认识一个人，他认识一个人。
I know a guy who knows a guy.
来吧。
Come on.
好吧，我们在许愿轮上。
Okay, so we're on the wishing wheel.
——是的。——继续。
- Yes. - Go ahead.
“凯,完成。
'Kay, done.
轮到你。使一个愿望。
Your turn. Make a wish.
我已经拿到了。
I already got it.
♪ ♪
♬自从你来到我身边 ♪ Since you came around ♪
♬你在考验我的信仰 ♪ You're testing my faith ♪
♪我在大声祈祷 ♪ I'm praying out loud ♪
是的。
Yeah.
♬我能感觉到它在我的胸膛里……♪ ♪ I feel it in my chest... ♪
- 21 !——是的!
- 21! - Yes!
是啊!
Yeah!
——是的!-嗨。
- Yeah! - Hey.
来吧。好吧。对不起,对不起。
Come on. Okay. Sorry, sorry.
很棒的一天，伙计们。
Great day, you guys.
我们完成了。拿起你的东西。
We are finished. Grab your stuff.
我准备好了。
I'm ready.
你。你会很棒的。
You are. You're gonna be great.
-是巴斯蒂安吗?——不可思议。——谢谢。
- Yo, is that Bastian? - Amazing. Thanks.
——哟。怎么了,孩子?-我的天，巴斯蒂安!
- Yo. What's up, kids? - Oh, my God, Bastian!
等等，怎么回事?
Wait, what's going on?
他坚持要来。
He insisted on coming.
嘿，走吧，现在。你父母在外面等你。
Hey, come on, now. Your parents are waiting for you outside.
好吧。再见，伙计们。见到你。再见。
Okay. See you later, guys. See you. Bye.
我想提醒你一下，但有人不接电话。
I tried to give you a heads-up,
but somebody wasn't answering her phone.
不,不。学校里没有手机。
No, no. There are no phones at school.
-你们在这里做什么?-你被提名为格莱美最佳流行歌手。
- What are you guys doing here? - You got nominated
for Best Pop Vocal Performance at the Grammys.
什么? !
What?!
“嫁给我”……-是的。-我的天啊!-我们被提名了!
"Marry Me"...
- Yeah. -Oh, my God! - We got nominated!
-你能相信吗?——恭喜你。
- Can you believe it? - Congratulations.
-天啊，太棒了!——恭喜你。
- Oh, my God, yes! - Congratulations.
——是的。哦,我的上帝。——哇。
- Yes. Oh, my God. - Wow.
我真不敢相信。
I can't believe this.
这只是时间问题，宝贝。
It was only a matter of time, babe.
-天啊。-你应该告诉她。
- Oh, my God. - You should tell her.
哦,是的。巴斯蒂安周五在麦迪逊广场花园的演唱会会在多个平台上直播，所以曝光率很高。
Oh, yeah. So, um, Bastian's concert
at Madison Square Garden on Friday is streaming
across multiple platforms, so there's loads of exposure.
是啊，他觉得我们可以唱《嫁给我》给大家一个惊喜
Yeah, he thought we could
surprise everyone and do "Marry Me."
好的。下周投票结果出来了，你们俩已经有段时间没在一起了。
Right. Now, the ballots are out next week,
and nobody's seen you two together since...
well, you know, a while.
嗯…你知道，…我们镇上没有舞者。-不不不。
Um...
You know, we don't... we don't have any
- of the dancers in town. - No, no, no.
这是临时通知。我不…不，等一下。但我们可以唱民谣版。
It's short notice. I-I don't...
No, but wait. But we can do the ballad version.
我们想在仪式结束后释放的那个。
The one that we wanted to release after the ceremony.
我不知道，塞巴斯蒂安。
I don't know, Sebastian.
“塞巴斯蒂安”?
"Sebastian"?
来吧。“塞巴斯蒂安”?
Come on. "Sebastian"?
那是他的真名。
That's his real name.
我能不能…我知道这有点…我不是想小题大做，但这首歌是你要结婚的曲子。
Look, can I just...
I-I know this is a little...
I'm not trying to make a thing here,
but this is the song that you were gonna get married to.
这对我来说意义重大。
This is huge for me.
当然
Totally. Totally.
你应该来。我希望你能来。
You should come. I want you to come.
你要和我们一起去吗?
Are you gonna come with us?
好 我是说这没什么大不了的。
Right. Okay. I mean, it's...
it's not a big deal.
提名。
The nomination is.
所以请不要生气。
So please don't be upset.
我就是个混蛋。
I-I'm just being a jerk.
我很抱歉。
And I'm sorry.
我只是想让你记住颁奖典礼都是狗屁你不需要他们来告诉你你有多好。
I just want you to remember award shows are bullshit
and you don't need them to tell you how good you are.
我知道。
I know.
帮我个忙。
Just do me a favor.
不要说“塞巴斯蒂安。”
Don't say "Sebastian."
见到你,宝贝。
See you, babe.
-再见。-嗨。
- See you soon. - Hey.
我们得安排一次乐队排练，还有试衣。——好的。
We got to schedule a band rehearsal
- and a wardrobe fitting. - Okay.
——现在?——是的,现在。
- Now? - Yes, now.
——是的。——好的。你好吗?
- Yes. - Okay. You good?
-我很好。-你确定吗?
- I'm good. - Are you sure?
好的，我会给你打电话的。
Okay, I'll call you.
这将会非常令人兴奋!
This is gonna be so exciting!
嘿。
Hey.
——你明白吗?-是的。
- You okay? - Yeah.
只是陪着坦克。
Just keeping Tank company.
好狗。
Good dog.
你怕她会重新爱上巴斯蒂安然后甩了你吗?
You're afraid she'll fall back in love with Bastian
and dump you?
不。
No.
是的。
Yeah.
我也会害怕的。
I'd be afraid of that, too.
谢谢你！非常感谢。
Thank you. Thank you very much.
谢谢你！嗯…我今晚有个小惊喜给你。
Thank you. Um...
I have a little surprise for you tonight.
有一个女人，她曾是我的心……也是我最大的灵感来源。
There is a woman
who's been my heart...
And my biggest inspiration.
她永远是我的家人。
She always gonna be my family.
我们总是会有…“嫁给我”。
And we're always gonna have...
"Marry Me."
观众都疯了。
Crowd's going bananas.
我知道。
I know.
我不知道我会不会说“香蕉”，但是…
I don't know if I'd say "bananas," but...
♪。我从未见过永远旳♪ ♪ I've never seen forever ♪
♪。我从未见过永远在野外的♪ ♪ I've never seen forever in the wild ♪
♪ I've never seen forever in the wild ♪
♪但现在我看着它，看着它的眼睛 ♪ But now I'm lookin', now I'm lookin' in its eyes ♪
♪ But now I'm lookin', now I'm lookin' in its eyes ♪
宝贝，你是我的避难所 ♪ Baby, you're my shelter ♪
♬天堂破碎的避难所 ♪ Shelter from a broken paradise ♪
♪ Shelter from a broken paradise ♪
♪♪如果我试一试，我的梦想也不会比这更好 ♪ I couldn't dream it any better if I tried ♪
♪ I couldn't dream it any better if I tried ♪
♬真爱总会响个不停 ♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
♪教堂的钟声，让它们敲响，敲响，敲响 ♪ Church bells, let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Church bells, let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪
♬你是王后，我是国王，国王，国王 ♪ You're the queen, I'll be the king, king, king ♪
♪ You're the queen, I'll be the king, king, king ♪
♪为了生活，为了生活，为了爱 ♪ For life, for life, for love ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪。用你的余生，用你的余生 ♪ For the rest, the rest of your life ♪
♪ For the rest, the rest of your life ♪
♬我要带她去维加斯 ♪ I'm-a fly her off to Vegas ♪
♪我们今晚就可以结束，没有耐心 ♪ We could tie it up tonight, no patience ♪
♪ We could tie it up tonight, no patience ♪
♪拿我的姓，放在你的名字的地方 ♪ Take my last name, put it where your name is ♪
♪ Take my last name, put it where your name is ♪
♬他们见过这么有名的爱情吗?♪ ♪ Have they ever seen a love this famous? ♪
♪ Have they ever seen a love this famous? ♪
♬他们从来没有，不，从来没有 ♪ They never, no, they never ♪
这是永远，永远，永远，永远 ♪ This forever, ever, ever, ever, ever ♪
♪ This forever, ever, ever, ever, ever ♪
♪没有人能做得更好，更好，更好 ♪ Ain't nobody do it better, better, better ♪
♪ Ain't nobody do it better, better, better ♪
♪每一首歌我们越唱越好 ♪ Every song we getting better ♪
♬真爱总会响个不停 ♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
♪哦，我们要♪ ♪ Ooh, we gotta ♪
♪教堂的钟声，让它们敲响，敲响，敲响 ♪ Church bells, let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Church bells, let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪
♪哦，他们一定会♪ ♪ Ooh, they gotta ♪
♬这个王后需要一个国王，国王，国王 ♪ This queen need a king, king, king ♪
♪ This queen need a king, king, king ♪
♪为了生活，为了生活，为了生活 ♪ For life, for life, for life ♪
♪♪为了生活♪♪是啊♪ - ♪ For life ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ For life ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪
♬真爱总会响个不停 ♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
-♬铃声，♬铃声-教堂的钟声 - ♪ Ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Church bells ♪
- ♪ Ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Church bells ♪
♪让它们响，响，响 ♪ Let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪
♬铃声，铃声 ♪ Ring, ring ♪
♬天使会唱歌，唱歌，唱歌 ♪ Angels gonna sing, sing, sing ♪
♪ Angels gonna sing, sing, sing ♪
今夜，今夜，今夜，宝贝 ♪ Tonight, tonight, tonight, baby ♪
♪ Tonight, tonight, tonight, baby ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我剩下的一切 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes for the rest ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes for the rest ♪
♪嫁给我吧，宝贝 - ♪ The rest of your life ♪ - ♪ Marry me, baby ♪
- ♪ The rest of your life ♪ - ♪ Marry me, baby ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪。用你的余生，用你的余生 ♪ For the rest, the rest of your life ♪
♪ For the rest, the rest of your life ♪
婴儿♪♪ ♪ Baby ♪
♬妈妈，妈妈，妈妈，嫁给我 ♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
你愿意嫁给我吗，宝贝?♪ ♪ Won't you marry me, baby? ♪
♬妈妈，妈妈，妈妈，嫁给我 ♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
♪我是如此渴望你出现在我的生命里 ♪ I want you in my life so bad ♪
♬妈妈，妈妈，妈妈，嫁给我 ♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
难道你不爱我吗，宝贝?♪ ♪ Won't you love me, baby? ♪
♬妈妈，妈妈，妈妈，嫁给我 ♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-marry me ♪
♪哦♪ ♪ Ooh ♪
♪Ah-ah-ah。♪ ♪ Ah-ah-ah. ♪
滚到花园去。
Get your ass to the Garden.
是的!
Yes!
-是的。姿势。-我们做到了。
- Yeah. Pose. - We did it.
我们看起来太棒了!
We look so good!
你们俩的化学反应太棒了。
You guys's chemistry is off the charts.
来吧,伙计们。让我们做它。
Come on, guys. Let's do it.
观众也感觉到了。
And the audience felt it.
——你知道吗?-是的。
- You know? - Yeah.
-嗨。-天啊。
- Hey. - Oh, my God.
-我不知道你要来-嗨。
- I didn't know you were coming. - Hey.
不，我没有，然后我说，“我要下去看看，”然后…但我没有通行证，所以一开始我没能进去，然后幸运的是，有人看到了我，他们把我带到后台，然后把我带到这里。
No, I wasn't, and then I was like,
"I'm gonna get down there," and-and...
but I didn't have a pass,
so I couldn't get in at first, and then luckily,
someone saw me and they brought me backstage
and then brought me over here.
你没看到吗?
So, you didn't see it?
不，不，我看到了。我看到了。是的。
No, no, I did. I did. Yeah.
你喜欢吗?
Uh, did you like it?
…我觉得这太棒了。
I-I... I thought it was amazing.
我真的为你感到高兴。
I-I was really happy for you.
我觉得你很了不起。
I think you're amazing.
你们能不能…好吧，我们去那边。
Can you guys... You know, fine, we'll go over here.
哦,是的。
Oh, yeah.
太棒了。……社交媒体正在爆炸。
It was great. It was...
Social media is exploding.
呃…他们甚至说你们复合了。
It's, uh... They're even saying you guys are back together.
如果社交媒体说这是真的，那就一定是真的。
Well, if social media says it's true, it must be true.
等等，你没事吧?
Wait, are you okay?
不，我很好。我很好。我只是…我正看着你，…一切都解决了。
Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm just...
I'm looking at you here, and it... it all worked out.
我是说，甚至没人记得熔毁的事。
I mean, no one even remembers the meltdown.
我知道。这很疯狂,对吗?
I know. It's crazy, right?
我真为你高兴。
I'm really happy for you.
这是你应得的。
You deserve it.
你真的做的。
You really do.
天啊，他真会唱歌。
God, he can sing.
♪一次又一次的机会…♪ ♪ Dame un segundo, un segundo chance... ♪
♪ Dame un Segundo, un Segundo chance... ♪
“Segundochance。”
"Segundochance."
那是什么?第二次机会?
What-what is that? Second chances?
只是一首歌而已。
It's just a song.
也许吧。
Maybe.
也许还不止这些。
Maybe it's something more.
这是怎么呢
What's going on?
听着，我知道这是件大事，所以我才想来这里，但我不适合这里。
Look, I know this is a big deal,
and that's why I wanted to come down here,
but I don't fit.
我认为客观上这是非常正确的。
And I think that's objectively pretty true.
-我们不需要…-你在说什么?
- And we don't need to pr... - So, what are you saying?
听着，如果我对自己说实话，…我来这里只是想说…我认为这行不通。
Look, if I'm being honest with myself,
I real... I really came down here
just to say that this... I don't think this works.
能给我一瓶轩尼诗X.O吗?是吗?
Can I have a bottle of Hennessy X.O? Yeah?
你要和我分手吗?
Are you breaking up with me?
凯蒂。凯特。
Katarina. Kat.
凯特,过来。
Kat, come here.
——过来。——没关系。走了。
- Come here. - It's okay. Go.
——走吧。——没有。
- Go. - No.
——过来。-你在说什么?
- Come here. - What are you saying?
-告诉我你…-嘿，拜托。
- Tell me what you... - Hey, come on.
-你什么意思?-大家都在给你打电话。
- What-what do you mean? - Everybody's calling you.
没什么。待会儿再谈。
It's nothing. Talk later.
——走吧。走了。-过来，宝贝。
- Go. Go. - Come here, baby.
它很好。继续。
It's fine. Keep going.
- - - - - -来吧。——凯特!凯特!凯特!
- Come on. - Kat! Kat! Kat!
凯特!凯特!凯特!凯特!凯特!
Kat! Kat! Kat! Kat! Kat!
伙计们，为今晚成就这一切的女人举杯吧。
Guys, raise your glasses
to the woman who made all this possible tonight.
给你。
To you.
你,凯特。
To you, Kat.
——祝您健康。——祝您健康。
- Salud. - Salud.
祝您健康,祝您健康。
Salud, salud.
是的,干杯!
Yes, cheers!
是给你的，凯特!
It's for you, Kat!
♬我一直都知道你 ♪ Always knew you ♪
♪即使那时我还不认识你♪ ♪ Even when I didn't know you ♪
♬没道理，但确实有 ♪ Don't make sense, but it do ♪
♪我在去你的路上 ♪ I was on my way to you ♪
♪每一滴眼泪都掉得那么重 ♪ Every teardrop fell so heavy ♪
♪疼得像地狱，但天堂把我送了过去 ♪ Hurt like hell, but heaven sent me through ♪
♪ Hurt like hell, but heaven sent me through ♪
♪我在去你的路上 ♪ I was on my way to you ♪
♪每一次心碎都是一条黄砖路 ♪ And every heartbreak was a yellow brick road ♪
♪ And every heartbreak was a yellow brick road ♪
♬给我指明方向，带我回家 ♪ Pointing me straight, just taking me home ♪
♪ Pointing me straight, just taking me home ♪
♪。我从未迷失 ♪ I was never lost ♪
♬我只是路过 ♪ I was just passing through ♪
♪我在去你的路上 ♪ I was on my way to you ♪
♪希望无望，信仰在奔跑 ♪ Hope was hopeless, faith was running ♪
♪ Hope was hopeless, faith was running ♪
我没注意到你要过来 ♪ Didn't notice you were coming through ♪
♪ Didn't notice you were coming through ♪
♬你也在路上 ♪ You were on your way, too ♪
♪而你却不相信命中注定旳♪ ♪ And you don't believe in meant to be ♪
♪ And you don't believe in meant to be ♪
♪但你注定是属于我的，这是真的 ♪ But somehow you were meant for me, it's true ♪
♪ But somehow you were meant for me, it's true ♪
♪是啊，你也在路上了♪ ♪ Yeah, you were on your way, too ♪
♪ Yeah, you were on your way, too ♪
♪每一次心碎，都是一条黄砖路 ♪ Every heartbreak was a yellow brick road ♪
♪ Every heartbreak was a yellow brick road ♪
♬给我指明方向，带我回家 ♪ Pointing me straight, just taking me home ♪
♪ Pointing me straight, just taking me home ♪
♪。我从未迷失 ♪ I was never lost ♪
♬我只是路过 ♪ I was just passing through ♪
♪我在去你的路上 ♪ I was on my way to you ♪
♪ I was on my way to you ♪
♪我在去你的路上 ♪ I was on my way to you ♪
♪我一直在向你走来，哦♪ ♪ I was on my way to you, oh ♪
♪我已在路上，在去你的路上 ♪ I'm on my way, on my way to you ♪
♪ I'm on my way, on my way to you ♪
♬这是我的路 ♪ On my way ♪
♪。在通往你的路上 ♪ On my way to you ♪
♬这是我的路 ♪ On my way ♪
♪在去你的路上，哦♪ ♪ On my way to you, oh ♪
♪♪我已在路上，我已在路上 ♪ I'm on my way, I'm on my way ♪
♬这是我的路 ♪ On my way ♪
♪。在通往你的路上 ♪ On my way to you ♪
♬这是我的路 ♪ On my way ♪
♪在去你的路上，哦♪ ♪ On my way to you, oh ♪
♪每一次心碎都是一条黄砖路 ♪ And every heartbreak was a yellow brick road ♪
♪ And every heartbreak was a yellow brick road ♪
♬给我指明方向，带我回家 ♪ Pointing me straight, just taking me home ♪
♪ Pointing me straight, just taking me home ♪
♪。我从未迷失 ♪ I was never lost ♪
♬我只是路过 ♪ I was just passing through ♪
♪。在通往你的路上 ♪ On my way to you ♪
♬这是我的路 ♪ On my way ♪
♪♪在通往你的路上♪♪哦…♪ - ♪ On my way to you ♪ - ♪ Ooh... ♪
- ♪ On my way to you ♪ - ♪ Ooh... ♪
♪。在我的路上，在我通往你的路上 ♪ On my way, on my way to you ♪
♬这是我的路 ♪ On my way ♪
♪。在通往你的路上 ♪ On my way to you ♪
♪哦，亲爱的♪ ♪ Oh, my darling ♪
♬我在路上。♪ ♪ I'm on my way. ♪
来吧,查理。别傻了。
Come on, Charlie. Don't be stupid.
现在说有点晚了。
Well, it's a little late for that.
-你又多了一个。-拿去吧。
- You got another one. - Take it, please.
这是写给学校的。
It-it's made out to the school.
只是感觉有点不合适。
It just feels a little unseemly.
-我不是为了钱。-我知道，但如果你不接受支票，那婚前协议就没有约束力了。
- I didn't do it for the money. - I know,
but if you don't take the check, then the prenup's not binding.
你可以卖掉你的故事。
You could sell your story.
你可以写本书。
You could write a book.
你是这么看我的吗?
Is that what you think of me?
得了吧，查理。
Oh, come on, Charlie.
我支持你。
I was rooting for you.
我希望它能成功。全世界都想这样。
I wanted it to work. The whole world wanted it to.
很抱歉让你和全世界失望了。
I'm sorry to disappoint you and the world.
你令人失望。
You're disappointing yourself.
我保护我自己。
I'm protecting myself.
我无法摆脱她。
I can't get away from her.
总是会有海报，Vitamix或广告牌。
There's always a poster, a Vitamix or a billboard.
你知道他们没在一起?
You know they're not together?
也许不是。
Maybe not.
但是，科林，能帮我个忙吗?
But, Colin, can you do me a favor?
当她想明白的时候你会在她身边吗?
Will you be there for her when she figures it all out?
她需要人帮忙。
She's gonna need someone.
♪ ♪
在周五的节目中，我们将和美丽的凯特·瓦尔迪兹谈谈她的新热门单曲“On My Way”，还有一位你不会想错过的特别惊喜嘉宾。
On Friday's show, we'll be talking
to the beautiful Kat Valdez
about her new hit single "On My Way,"
with a special surprise guest that you won't want to miss.
——晚安。——晚安。
- Night. - Night.
通过咬下巴、撞头或拍打尾巴来建立
...established by jaw snapping,
headbutting or tail slapping.
身体上的支配地位确立了领导者。
Physical dominance establishes the leader.
海豚群最多可达数百只，行程可达80英里。
Pods can travel in herds of up to hundreds of dolphins
and can cover 80 miles.
♪ ♪
玛塔隆，宝贝，玛塔隆人。
Mathalon, baby, with the Mathalonians.
-前往伊利诺伊州皮奥里亚。-嗨。
- Headed to Peoria, Illinois. - Hey.
来找你。
Coming to get ya.
-等等，你在干什么?-我们在直播。
- Wait, what are you doing? - Oh, we're live.
说点聪明的，诙谐的或者数字的。
Say something smart or witty or, uh, numeric.
有5000人在观看。
5,000 people are watching.
再见。
Bye.
- - - - - -查尔斯。——我是认真的。
- Charles. - I'm serious.
嗯,我不能。关掉它。
Um, I can't. Turn it off.
你会在某个时候变得有趣吗?
Are you at some point gonna be fun again?
我从来都不有趣。
I was never fun.
这是真的，但我还是爱你。
That's true, and I love you anyway.
你不会一直有这种感觉的。
You know, you're not always gonna feel this way.
你能来真是幸运。我们本来打算丢下你走的。
You're lucky you made it. We were gonna leave without you.
帕克。不,我们不是。
Parker. No, we weren't.
-快点，我们走，珀西。-我们确实是。
- Come on, let's go, Percy. - We absolutely were.
我爱你和查理是一对。
I loved you and Charlie as a couple.
你们还是朋友吗?
Are you still friends?
我可以问你这个吗?
Is it okay if I ask you that?
是的。
Yeah.
嗯,当然。
Um, sure.
是的。
Yeah.
他看起来是最贴心的男人。
He seems like the sweetest man.
其实我给他打了DMed是想祝他明天的马赛龙好运。
You know, I actually DMed him
to wish him luck on his Mathalon tomorrow.
显然，他没有回答。
He never answered, obviously.
Mathalon是明天?
Mathalon's tomorrow?
是的。
Yeah.
嘿。
Hey.
嘿。
Hey.
我来解决这个问题。
I'll just fix that.
谢谢你！
Thank you.
-哦，我喜欢。-谢谢。
- Oh, I like that. - Mm. Thank you.
很好。
Nice.
所以,……我们一直在拐弯抹角，我觉得我们应该直接切入正题。
So, we've been... we've been
beating around the bush, and I think that
we should get right down to it.
我是说，我们都知道你们不是"在一起"
I mean, we all know that you guys are not "together,"
但你们为彼此写了《嫁给我》
uh, yet you wrote "Marry Me" for each other.
巴斯蒂安为凯特写了《第二曲》
Uh, Bastian wrote "Segundo" for Kat.
凯特为巴斯蒂安写了《在我的路上》
Kat wrote "On My Way" for Bastian.
我想下一首歌应该是，呃，“快点!”我说的对吗?
I'd say the next song should probably be, uh,
"Come On Already!" Am I right?
等我们回来，看看能不能让这两个人唱一段浪漫的二重唱。
Let's see if we can get these two guys
to sing a little romantic duet when we come back.
——哦。——哦。
- Ooh. - Ooh.
不要换频道。
Do not change that channel.
我不是为巴斯蒂安写的《上路》
I didn't write "On My Way" for Bastian.
对不起,吉米。
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
我知道现在不是顿悟的时候，但是…我不想回去。
I know it's an inopportune time to have an epiphany, but...
I don't want to go back.
有人告诉我，如果你在这个问题上坐得足够久，答案就会找到你。
Someone told me that if you sit in the question long enough,
the answer finds you.
答案是…我不想一遍又一遍地犯同样的错误。
And the answer is...
I don't want to keep making the same mistakes over and over.
我想要一些不同的东西。
I want something different.
到这里来。
Come here.
所以，我猜不会有浪漫的二重唱。
So, I'm guessing no romantic duet.
-嗨。——凯特!-哇，哇，哇。
- Hey. -Kat! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-那是Kat Valdez。——凯特!Kat,等等!——在这里!
- That's Kat Valdez. - Kat! Kat, wait! -Over here!
-你要去哪?——凯特,嘿!来一杯怎么样?
- Where you going? - Kat, hey! How about a shot, huh?
皮奥瑞亚。
Peoria.
-我去给你弄架飞机。——没有。
- I'll get you a plane. - No.
我想自己来，好吗?
I want to do this by myself, okay?
-没那么难吧。-凯特，别这样。
- Can't be that hard. - Kat, come on.
-凯特，你要去哪?-再来一杯怎么样?
- Kat, where you headed? - How about another shot?
送我去机场。
Take me to the airport.
再见!
Bye!
嘿。
Hey.
那不是我们的车。
That's not our car.
哇。那是Kat Valdez吗?
Whoa. Is that Kat Valdez?
哦,我的上帝。凯特·瓦尔迪兹?
Oh, my God. Kat Valdez?
你是对的。她在这里做什么?
You're right. What's she doing here?
对不起。最后一班到皮奥里亚的联程航班经过芝加哥，但是已经售完了。
Sorry. The last connecting flight to Peoria
is through Chicago, but it's all sold out.
如果你明天飞……今晚。必须是今晚。
If you fly tomorrow...
Tonight. It has to be tonight.
马泰伦明天中午就会结束，我答应过会去的。
The Mathalon will be over by noon tomorrow,
and I promised I'd be there.
我愿意给任何人五千美元换取去芝加哥的备用座位。
I will give anyone $5,000 for their standby slot to Chicago.
这是非法的。你不能买别人的票。
It's illegal. You can't buy someone else's ticket.
——你不能?——凯特。
- You can't? - Kat.
你知道买别人的票是违法的吗?
Did you know it's illegal to buy someone else's ticket?
嗯,是的。每个人都一样。
Uh, yeah. Everyone does.
我没法给你弄到飞机，但我们给你弄到了最后一张机票。
Now, I can't get you a plane,
but we got you the last available ticket.
在教练。
It's in coach.
-你真是我的救星。-是的,是的。
- You're a lifesaver. - Yeah, yeah.
你到了之后再告诉我，好吗?
Tell me that after you get there, okay?
这是你的护照和一些钱。
So, there's your passport and some money.
去寻找你的答案吧。
Go find your answer.
——好的。——继续。
- Okay. - Go on.
再见。
Bye.
女士们先生们，由于寒冷的天气和强劲的逆风，我们的飞行时间会比平时长一些，但我们会在早上把你们送到那里。
Ladies and gentlemen, due to
freezing weather conditions and some strong headwinds,
we will be in flight a little longer than usual,
but we will get you there by morning.
对不起,小姐。
Excuse me, miss.
我想在整个飞行过程中买香槟和鱼子酱。
I'd like to buy champagne and caviar for the whole flight.
我很抱歉。我们只有火腿卷，奶酪块和Michelob ULTRA。
I'm sorry. We only have ham wraps, cheese cubes
and Michelob ULTRA.
好吧，那就火腿卷和Michelob ULTRA。
Okay, well, then ham wraps and Michelob ULTRA.
奶酪块呢?
What about the cheese cubes?
确定。干酪立方体。为什么不呢?
Sure. Cheese cubes, too. Why not?
还有，谁想卖给我一件很厚的冬衣?
Um, also, who wants to sell me a very heavy winter coat?
呃，答案是9 ?
Uh, the answer is nine?
答案是正确的。
That answer is correct.
这一轮由柯立芝皮顿赢得。
This round goes to the Coolidge Pi-thons.
漂亮,以斯帖。
Nice, Esther.
干得好。
Good job.
加油,以斯帖!
Go, Esther!
那些开着车的人呢?
Where are the people with the cars?
对不起，先生，你有手机充电器吗?
Excuse me, sir. Do you have a phone charger?
——我需要…——没有。对不起。
- I-I need... - No. Sorry.
——我有。——你……科林给我打过电话，所以…是查理吗?
- I do. - You...
Colin called me, so...
Is Charlie here?
我没告诉他我要来。
You know, I didn't tell him I was coming.
我不想在这个大日子里跟他捣乱，以防…他不太会说话，所以我得问你，凯特，你是不是…
I didn't want to screw with him on the big day, in case...
You know, he's not good with the back-and-forth,
so I got to ask you, Kat, are you...
这是真的吗?
Is this for real?
我从法伦出来在皮奥里亚冻掉了脚趾，所以…
Well, I walked out on Fallon
to freeze my toes off in Peoria, so...
说得好。
Excellent point.
我叫了一辆优步。
I called an Uber.
47分钟?
47 minutes?
什么?
What?
我们赶不上了。
We're not gonna make it.
他们不是已经开始了吗?
Didn't they already start?
我们要搭便车吗?我不知道…等等!
Should we hitch a ride? I don't know what...
Wait!
这个女人，这个超级明星，这个偶像，穿着细高跟鞋坐着长途飞机来赢回她生命中不可能的爱人，她不顾一切地爱着她。
This woman, this superstar, this icon,
has flown in coach in stilettos
to win back the unlikely love of her life,
who, against all odds, she loves.
他爱她。
And he loves her.
他这样做,对吗?
He does, right?
完全。
Completely.
你接下来说的话不仅能预测他们的未来还能预测所有相信信仰飞跃魔法的人的未来。
The next thing you say will forecast not just their future
but the future of-of anyone who ever believed
in the magic of a leap of faith.
-听着…-她会给你一千美元。
- Look... - She'll give you a thousand dollars.
答案是15。
The answer is 15.
答案是正确的。
The answer is correct.
-五分，三一分子。——是的!
- Five points, Trinity Numerators. - Yes!
是的!得到他们!
Yes! Get 'em!
祝贺你。
Congratulations.
休息后，我们进入了一个突然死亡的回合，三届冠军得主-三一分子…——是的!
After a break,
we're moving to a sudden-death round
between the three-time champions,
- Trinity Numerators... - Yes!
.．.和第一次进入决赛的柯立芝皮松。
...and the first-time finalists, Coolidge Pi-thons.
突然死亡。
Sudden death.
哦。发射。
Ooh. Blast off.
首先，娄·吉尔伯特代表柯立芝派通。
First up, Lou Gilbert for the Coolidge Pi-thons.
Choker最好的祈祷。
Choker better pray.
闭嘴。
Shut up.
你在笑吗?
You laughing at that?
听着……我不想让你难堪。
Look...
I don't want to embarrass you.
我知道那是你女儿。
I know that's your daughter.
——是吗?-我去年见过她。
- Yeah? - I saw her last year.
她怯场了。
She's got stage fright.
我的女儿很好。
My daughter's fine.
听着，我只是觉得如果你们放弃冠军头衔也许对你们来说会好过一些。
Look, I just think maybe it would be easier on you
if you guys just conceded the title.
——承认?——嗯。
- Concede? - Mm-hmm.
-把奖杯给你?——没有。
- Give you the trophy? - No.
更像是你在保护自己免受羞辱。
It's more like you save yourself from humiliation.
嗯?
Huh?
好的,卷缩。我们开始吧。
Okay, huddle up. Here we go.
那边的兔八哥教练想知道我们是否愿意认输，把奖杯给他。
So, um, Coach Looney Tunes over there wants to know
if we just want to concede and give him the trophy.
——不!-这根本说不通啊
- No! - That doesn't even make sense.
-是的。-四连胜，宝贝。
- Yeah. - Four in a row, baby.
不如我们去给他看看皮松是怎么回事?
How about we go show him what the Pi-thons are all about?
是啊!
Yeah!
卢，你准备好了吗?
Lou, you ready for this?
看着我。
Watch me.
♪ ♪
下一个答案将决定柯立芝皮松能否赢得马赛龙。
This next answer will determine
whether the Coolidge Pi-thons win the Mathalon.
卢·吉尔伯特。
Lou Gilbert.
——是的,卢。——走,卢!
- Yes, Lou. - Go, Lou!
-来吧，卢。-你能行的。
Come on, Lou. -You got this.
-来吧，卢。你得到这个。-来吧，卢。
- Come on, Lou. You got this. - Come on, Lou.
周长为8的圆内接在宽为高两倍的椭圆上。
A circle with perimeter eight pi is inscribed in an ellipse
whose width is twice its height.
椭圆的面积的平方单位是多少?
What is the area of the ellipse in square units?
你知道这一点。下定决心吧。
You know this. Set your mind to it.
她有。
She's got it.
是的,她……有谁知道怎样掐喉咙吗?
Yeah, she...
Anyone know a good choke?
-嗨。——请安静。
- Hey. - Quiet, please.
请尊重马泰罗尼亚人。
Please respect the Mathalonians.
这不公平。
It's not fair.
失败者!
Loser!
我想保护你不受伤害。
I tried to protect you from this.
停。
Stop it.
和我们在一起，卢。
Stay with us, Lou.
别让它影响你的思想!
Don't let it get in your head!
卢。
Lou.
这是什么鬼东西?
What the hell is this?
哦,我的上帝。
Oh, my God.
伙计们，就在这里!
You guys, it's over here!
呆子!
Dork!
是的,吉尔伯特先生。好主意。
Yeah, Mr. Gilbert. Good idea.
是的，就是这样，吉尔伯特先生。
Yeah, that's it, Mr. Gilbert.
是的。是的。
Yeah. Yeah.
你明白了。
You got it.
来吧!
Come on!
来吧。反对。他在计数。
Come on. Objection. He's counting.
他在跳舞，你个疯子。
He's dancing, you lunatic.
这是凯特·瓦尔迪兹。
That's Kat Valdez.
哦,我的天啊。我要死了。
Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna die.
来吧。来吧。
Come on. Come on.
我相信你!
I believe in you!
32个π!
32 pi!
答案是正确的。——是的!
- The answer is correct. - Yes!
但是计时器已经过去了。
But the timer's elapsed.
三一分子仍然保持着他们的国家地位。
The Trinity Numerators retain their national status.
十分钟后，我们将继续颁奖典礼。——是的!
We'll reconvene
- in ten minutes for the awards presentation. - Yeah!
嘿，没事的，卢。
Hey, it's okay, Lou.
连续四年!
Four years in a row!
连续四年!连续四年!
Four years in a row! Four years in a row!
嘿。嘿。
Hey. Hey.
我真为你骄傲。
I'm so proud of you.
-爸爸，我又输了。-不，不重要。
- Dad, I lost again. - No, it doesn't matter.
首先，你答对了。这是完美的。
First of all, you got it right. It was perfect.
但其次，你就在上面。
But second of all, you were just up there.
你站在那里，非常勇敢。
You stood up there, and you were so brave.
我才是那个应该为我的舞蹈而哭的人。
I'm the one who should be crying
for the dancing I was doing.
你是伟大的。
You were great.
谢谢你！
Thank you.
我爱你，爸爸。
I love you, Dad.
你太棒了，卢。
You were amazing, Lou.
真的，我是说，虽然很吓人，你还是开枪了。
Really, I mean,
you took a shot even though it was scary.
这才是最重要的。
That's what matters.
并不是每件事都像你想的那样累积起来。
Not everything adds up the way you think it will.
他们说如果你想要不同的东西，你就得做不同的事。
You know, they say if you want something different,
you have to do something different.
如果我们太不一样了怎么办?
What if we're just too different?
如果我们不是呢?
What if we're not?
我现在完全失去知觉了。
I'm fully blacking out right now.
-加油，G先生-加油，G先生!
- Come on, Mr. G. - Come on, Mr. G!
你把她晾在一边。
You're leaving her hanging.
来吧,伙计。
Come on, dude.
爸爸。
Dad.
Aw.
Ew.
我们开始吧。
Here we go.
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪为其余的，其余的…♪ ♪ For the rest, the rest... ♪
♪。我从未见过永远旳♪ ♪ I never seen forever ♪
♪哦，是的♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪。我从未见过永远在野外的♪ ♪ I never seen forever in the wild ♪
♪ I never seen forever in the wild ♪
♪但现在我看着它，看着它的眼睛 ♪ But now I'm lookin', now I'm lookin' in its eyes ♪
♪ But now I'm lookin', now I'm lookin' in its eyes ♪
宝贝，你是我的避难所 ♪ Baby, you're my shelter ♪
♬天堂破碎的避难所 ♪ Shelter from a broken paradise ♪
♪ Shelter from a broken paradise ♪
♪♪我做梦也想不到 ♪ I couldn't dream it ♪
♪如果我尝试会更好 ♪ Any better if I tried ♪
♬真爱总会响个不停 ♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ True love gotta ring, ring, ring ♪
-♬铃声，♬铃声-教堂的钟声 - ♪ Ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Church bells ♪
- ♪ Ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Church bells ♪
-♬让它们响吧，响吧，响吧 - ♪ Let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Ring, ring ♪
- ♪ Let 'em ring, ring, ring ♪ - ♪ Ring, ring ♪
♬天使会唱歌，唱歌，唱歌 ♪ Angels gonna sing, sing, sing ♪
♪ Angels gonna sing, sing, sing ♪
♬今夜，今夜，今夜 ♪ Tonight, tonight, tonight ♪
婴儿♪♪ ♪ Baby ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪嫁给我，嫁给我，答应我 ♪ Marry me, marry me, say yes ♪
♪。用你的余生，用你的余生 ♪ For the rest, the rest of your life ♪
♪ For the rest, the rest of your life ♪
♪ma-ma, ma-ma ♪ Ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma ♪
嫁人♪ ♪ Ma-Ma-Ma-Marry me ♪
难道你不爱我吗，宝贝?♪ ♪ Won't you love me, baby? ♪
♬妈妈-妈妈，妈妈-妈妈，嫁给我……♪ ♪ Ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-marry me... ♪
♪ Ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-marry me... ♪
——准备。——Tanky。
- Getting ready. - Tanky.
-这是平静的…哦,哎呀!——哦,天哪!
- This is the calm... Oh, gee! - Oh, no!
坦克!
Tank!
——好的,等等。慢点。-他没有牙齿。
- Okay, wait. Slower. - He doesn't have teeth.
——慢点。好吧。-他不…♬钻石和项链，其他的都不行 - Slower. Okay. - He doesn't... ♪ Diamonds and a necklace, everything else is off ♪
- Slower. Okay. - He doesn't...
♪ Diamonds and a necklace, everything else is off ♪
好男孩。
Good boy.
♪现在他想打赌他能打败我上床…♪ ♪ Now he wanna bet he can beat me to the bed... ♪
♪ Now he wanna bet he can beat me to the bed... ♪
我们在吉米法伦见过，对吧?
So, we met at Jimmy Fallon, didn't we?
-是的。-我们没在法伦搞上。
- Yeah. - We didn't hook up at Fallon.
不，我们在火人节上做爱了。
No, we had sex at Burning Man.
所以，凯特让我去了一个…他们叫什么来着，宝贝?
So, Kat made me come to one of those...
Um, what are they called again, babe?
-这叫马泰隆，兄弟。——是的!
- It's called a Mathalon, bro. - Yes!
天啊，太无聊了。
Oh, my God, it's so boring.
你们在那做什么来着?
And what do you guys do there again?
-有个东西叫…——数学。
- It's this thing called, um... - Math.
——是的!哦,我的上帝。——是的。嗯哼。
- Yes! Oh, my God. - Yep. Mm-hmm.
我一想就睡着了，但是…她做到了。
I fell asleep just even thinking about it, but...
She did.
-我在这里遇到了我最喜欢的人。
- I-I met my most favorite person here. - Mm.
我们在一次聚会上见过，当时她正要离开。
We met at a party as she was leaving.
如果我早走十秒，我们就不会见面了。
And had I walked out ten seconds earlier,
we never would've met.
我打赌你有时也希望是这样。
And I bet you wish that was the case sometimes.
从来没有。
Never.
我有一个六英里的半径，而她肯定住在六英里以外。
I had a six-mile radius set,
and she definitely lived more than six miles away.
她想在下午4点见面。
Well, she wanted to meet at 4:00 p.m.
谁下午4点见面?
Who meets at 4:00 p.m.?
我们见面的时候，他穿着紧身衣。
When we met, he was in a unitard.
她喜欢她所看到的。
She liked what she saw.
81年前，我们出生在同一家医院，相隔两天，还裹着尿布。
81 years ago, we were born in the same hospital
two days apart, in diapers.
81年后的今天，我们又回到了纸尿裤时代。
Here it is 81 years later,
and we're back in diapers again.
哦,查理!
Oh, Charlie!
我们是在一个约会软件上认识的，但是，呃，他邀请我第二次约会，呃，在树林里露营，我说，“这看起来不安全……——所以我要走了。”-她的朋友叫她不要去。
We met on a dating app, but then,
uh, he invited me on the second date,
um, camping in the woods, and I was like,
"That seems unsafe...
- "so I'll go." - Her friend told her not to go.
是啊，但她说了，五年过去了，她还活着。
Yeah, but she did, and it's been five years,
and she's still alive.
我们是在一次音乐会上认识的。
We met at a concert.
♪。你的聚光灯让我怦然心动 ♪ Spotlight on you got me zoomin' ♪
♪ Spotlight on you got me zoomin' ♪
♪我爱上了你 ♪ I'm falling into you ♪
♪我们在桌上跳舞♪ ♪ We're dancing on tabletops ♪
♬邻居叫警察 ♪ Neighbors calling the cops ♪
♪和你在一起的时候，感觉像是♪ ♪ When I'm with you, feels like ♪
♪ When I'm with you, feels like ♪
♪没人在看♪ ♪ Nobody's watching us ♪
♪我们要把所有的钟都烧掉 ♪ We're burning down all the clocks ♪
♪ We're burning down all the clocks ♪
♪希望时间会停止 ♪ Hoping that time will stop ♪
♪今晚把世界封锁起来 ♪ Block out the world tonight ♪
♪好像没有人在看着我们♪ ♪ Like nobody's watching us ♪
♪没人在看♪ ♪ Nobody's watching us ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching ♪
♪所以来触摸我的身体 ♪ So come touch my body ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching us ♪
♪没人在看♪ ♪ Nobody's watching us ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching ♪
♪所以来触摸我的身体 ♪ So come touch my body ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching us ♪
♬哦，哦，哦，哦 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪就在这月光下♪ ♪ Right here by the light of the moon ♪
♪ Right here by the light of the moon ♪
♪。你的聚光灯让我怦然心动 ♪ Spotlight on you got me zoomin' ♪
♪ Spotlight on you got me zoomin' ♪
♪我爱上了你 ♪ I'm falling into you ♪
♪我们在桌上跳舞♪ ♪ We're dancing on tabletops ♪
♬邻居叫警察 ♪ Neighbors calling the cops ♪
♪和你在一起的时候，感觉像是♪ ♪ When I'm with you, feels like ♪
♪ When I'm with you, feels like ♪
♪没人在看♪ ♪ Nobody's watching us ♪
♪我们要把所有的钟都烧掉 ♪ We're burning down all the clocks ♪
♪ We're burning down all the clocks ♪
♪希望时间会停止 ♪ Hoping that time will stop ♪
♪今晚把世界封锁起来 ♪ Block out the world tonight ♪
♪好像没有人在看着我们♪ ♪ Like nobody's watching us ♪
♪没人在看♪ ♪ Nobody's watching us ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching ♪
♪所以来触摸我的身体 ♪ So come touch my body ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching us ♪
-♬不，不，不，不，不…♪ - ♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪ - ♪ No-no-no, no-no... ♪
- ♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪ - ♪ No-no-no, no-no... ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching ♪
♪所以来触摸我的身体 ♪ So come touch my body ♪
♪没有，没人在看♪ ♪ No, nobody's watching us ♪
♬Na, Na, Na。♪ ♪ Na, na, na. ♪
♬从天花板到地板都能看到海景 ♪ Got ocean views from ceiling to the floor ♪
♪ Got ocean views from ceiling to the floor ♪
床边留一分，海上多一分 ♪ Keep a milli by the bed, a hundred more offshore-ore ♪
♪ Keep a milli by the bed, a hundred more offshore-ore ♪
♬满是路易和迪奥的壁橱 ♪ Closets full of Louis and Christian Dior ♪
♪ Closets full of Louis and Christian Dior ♪
从没人见过的毕加索和梵高的作品 ♪ Picassos and van Goghs that no one's seen before-ore ♪
♪ Picassos and van Goghs that no one's seen before-ore ♪
♬钻石像喷泉一样滴下来 ♪ Diamonds drippin' down like fountains ♪
♪ Diamonds drippin' down like fountains ♪
我会签字的，不管多少钱 ♪ I'll sign, don't care what the amount is ♪
♪ I'll sign, don't care what the amount is ♪
♪每一天黑夜♪ ♪ Every day and night ♪
♪。活得奢华。♪ ♪ Live a life filled with luxury ♪
♪ Live a life filled with luxury ♪
♪不在我身边的时候，你什么都无所谓 ♪ Don't matter when you're not with me ♪
♪ Don't matter when you're not with me ♪
♬是的，是的 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪就是这多情旳♪ ♪ Is this sentimental ♪
♪把我所有的钱都放在我的心上?♪ ♪ To put all my money just right where my heart is? ♪
♪ To put all my money just right where my heart is? ♪
♪但是，宝贝，你是特别的 ♪ But, baby, you're special ♪
♪无论代价如何，我都要做♪ ♪ No matter the cost, I'm-a do it regardless ♪
♪ No matter the cost, I'm-a do it regardless ♪
♪。我们坐飞机去波多黎各。♪ ♪ Let's take a jet, we're riding out to Puerto Rico ♪
♪ Let's take a jet, we're riding out to Puerto Rico ♪
待会我们坐上游艇，去圣多明各 ♪ Later we get the yacht, head to Santo Domingo ♪
♪ Later we get the yacht, head to Santo Domingo ♪
我的身体，爸爸，你在聚会 ♪ And my body, papi, es tu party ♪
♪ And my body, papi, es tu party ♪
♪现在我在飞翔，你做飞行员 ♪ Now I'm flying, you be the pilot ♪
♪ Now I'm flying, you be the pilot ♪
♪不要质疑我们的爱，让我最好的日子更美好 ♪ No questioning our love, make my best days even better ♪
♪ No questioning our love, make my best days even better ♪
♪长还不够长，我看着永远 ♪ Long ain't long enough, I'm looking at forever ♪
♪ Long ain't long enough, I'm looking at forever ♪
♬钻石像喷泉一样滴下来 ♪ Diamonds drippin' down like fountains ♪
♪ Diamonds drippin' down like fountains ♪
我会签字的，不管多少钱 ♪ I'll sign, don't care what the amount is ♪
♪ I'll sign, don't care what the amount is ♪
♪每一天黑夜♪ ♪ Every day and night ♪
♪。活得奢华。♪ ♪ Live a life filled with luxury ♪
♪ Live a life filled with luxury ♪
♪不在我身边的时候，你什么都无所谓 ♪ Don't matter when you're not with me ♪
♪ Don't matter when you're not with me ♪
♬是的，是的 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♬好吧，好吧 ♪ All right, all right ♪
玛玛西塔 ♪ Mamacita. ♪