To Jacques M.
On the 20th of June 1977, Paul leaves his friend Jérôme
for a one week trip in New-York.
During his stay he writes every day to his friend
and tells him in his last letter that
he will never come back to Paris.
Today, monday the 5th of December 1977,
Jérôme arrives in New-York as well
with Paul's letters in his pocket.
My beautiful lover,
I just landed in New-York and I already regret that you're not
here with me to discover the city.
Our short separation maybe will help us to think about
our relationship and our problems.
During the drive from the airport to hotel
the taxi-driver offered to give me the homosexual New-York tour
or gay as they say here.
I have the impression that these americans are not shy guys.
I miss you.
I kiss you tenderly. Paul.
-I can speak a little French -How did you learn french?
I was a student in Belgium for a few years.
-What did you study? -Medecine.
You're still studying?
It's a complicated story but
I'm still studying here in New-York.
And you're working as a taxi-driver...
to make some dough, yeah.
Pocket money as you say in french.
It's your first time in New-York?
It's my first time, yes. I'm here
because of a friend who came here and never left. I'd like to know
what has made him stay.
Everybody talks about New-York. I'd like to see why it's so magic.
It seems a wonderful place for gay people.
-Isn't it? -Yes, sure. -You know Paris?
A little but not the gay Paris.
-You can't compare then. -No.
You know the places here?
Not at all, what are the good spots?
There's a block here called The Village.
There's Christopher Street.
-It's the main street. -I heard about Christopher Street.
There's a few clubs on Christopher.
All in the same area.
Four or five clubs on the same street.
And then you turn on West Street.
It's another main street.
There's a new club called the Warehouse.
It's rather exciting in there.
I heard about the Warehouse. Lots of action there.
There's everything. All your desires.
What kind of desires?
-Well, it's hard to say... -What happens there?
Well, you can go there just to have a drink or...
Well, the lights are very dim.
You're always in darkness.
There are several rooms. Two rooms in the back
and the basement where you can...
you can have sex with one guy or more.
There's a...a.. bath...tub...
-A bathtub. -A bathtub, yes.
What goes on inside the bathroom?
Some guys play out their fantasies.
What kind of fantasies?
Some guys like to be pissed on.
In the bathtub?
Yes. It helps to keep
the club kinda clean.
Tuesday the 6th of December 1977.
My love,
it's hard to tell you all the sensations assaulting me.
New-York is a strange place.
The sounds and images mixed together are overwhelming.
I visited Manhattan.
Tomorrow I will visit a gay block called Greenwich Village.
But I don't think there's only one block.
All the city seem very gay friendly to me.
It seems like a lot of fun!
I'm very excited.
And, except for you, I don't miss being in Paris.
I kiss you hard. Paul.
Wednesday the 7th of December 1977.
My love,
I've decided to further explore this city
where everything is fascinating and exciting to me.
Paris seems very far.
I went to a mexican market near Harlem.
I met a strange man half-sorcerer, half-fortune teller.
Tonight I will go cruising and checking out the bars.
All the faces of these good-looking boys attract me.
Their violent tendencies are also very attractive to me.
I'm always surrounded by your love and tenderness
I find I have now other wishes.
I need your help
and think a lot about you.
I kiss you. Paul.
Would you like to learn something about your future?
How do you know I'm French?
It's easy when you're interested in people.
-I know a lot of things about you. -Oh yeah?
If you know so much things maybe you could help me to understand some of them.
Come to my home tonight if you want.
I'll see how I can help you.
There is in your hand, as in your life, lines of strength
and lines of weakness.
And the relations between human beings endure the same influences.
Your friend left because you couldn't understand
neither this strength
nor this weakness, Jérôme.
He wanted to be dominated.
And the only successful way
to find him
is to become the master
of his current master.
Come to the Warehouse next friday night.
You will understand.
Thursday the 8th of December 1977.
Jérôme darling.
Another day spent doing new things.
Yesterday I bought some leather clothes and gizmos,
"toys" as they say here.
I don't know if you would like to use them with me
but I must admit I have a lot of fun using them.
Then I went in a tattoo shop, it was really amazing.
"It's a completely new landscape" to quote you.
His customers are astonishing people too.
Do you have fun in Paris? Did you cheat me?
I hope you go out and have some fun.
I think it's time for us to change our lifestyle.
See you soon, Paul.
-So, you speak french? -Yes.
-You're french. -Yes.
-From where? -Paris.
-What are you doing in N-Y? -Visiting.
Oh yeah?
And why did you come in this place? You're coming for a tattoo?
Right, I'm coming for a tattoo. You too? -Yes.
I look at the models.
-You're the first woman I see in a tattoo shop. -Really?
Did you find something you like?
I was browsing but I haven't made my choice yet. I don't know...
-Maybe you can help me. -Yes, there's a big choice.
I'd like a small one, you see.
Something cute and funny.
Yes, something different.
Oh gee, that's something!
-Look at this one. -Very nice, yeah.
It's one of a kind, no?
That would be fun. I'm deciding on this one.
-Where will you have it? -There.
It sure is different. And why do you want a tattoo?
-It's exciting! -It's hot in here.
Yes, it's very hot.
-You're right, that's why I took off my clothes. -I noticed that.
It's nice, very cool.
Do you have friends, girl friends, who are tattooed, or boy friends?
No, only boys, gay friends.
You have gay friends in New-York?
How did it happen? You met them here or you already knew them?
Some of them here, others in Paris.
Almost all my friends were gay in Paris.
And it's the same here.
I'm always with the same crowd.
Why do you hang out with gay people?
I love fags.
-Why? -They're very educated.
They enjoy living and having fun.
They're never depressed, they cheer me.
-You prefer living with that kind of people. -Absolutely.
Where do go to meet your friends?
-I'm go to gay clubs. -What are their names?
I'm going to the Flamingo, Toll West..
There's that new club that just opened. I don't remember the name.
-You must give me the adresses. -Oh yes, absolutely.
-I'd like to go with you. -Yes.
You can join us, we're always out on saturdays and sundays, no problem.
And since you're very cute you will have many fans!
-You think so? -Yeah. -Thank you.
Oh yes, I'm all right until now.
I must admit that I...
What? It feels odd?
I don't know how to explain...
I didn't know the place and I heard rumours about the pain...
If I jump to the roof you help me to stay seated. I want to have this tattoo.
I will hold you. Don't worry.
So?
I don't know, it's ok.
It's kinda funny. It stings a little.
But it's less terrible than what I thought.
-He begins the drawing? -Yes.
He's going fast.
-I really want to see it. -It's beautiful.
Mirror please.
You see it?
Yes, I see it. It's fantastic.
My dear Jérôme.
Our parisian clubs are very pale compared to those in N-Y city.
Here it's color and excess everywhere.
But at least no-one is afraid to see the cops coming.
Freedom is a word that has kept it's meaning here.
The parisian queens I met can satisfy all their whims.
Pleasures of the mind add to the pleasures of the flesh.
There's always something to do or to see.
New-York is not a city.
It's a whole world more and more to my taste.
The idea of going back is depressing.
I feel disturbed and hesitant.
I'd like to have you at my side to give me advice.
I think about you. Paul.
Friday the 9th of December 1977.
Jérôme.
I met a boy with whom I will spend the evening.
Don't be mad at me but I have a hard time thinking I will miss you.
I don't know if N-Y has became some kind of drug to me
but I'm asking myself how I could live so long without this city.
I spend the days hanging in the Village or in the Museums
and I fuck all night long.
Here homosexuals are not ashamed of themselves.
I met a homosexual activist who explained how they were organized.
They know they're a force and have influence.
They use it to get more freedom.
The reconnaissance of rights
we also have but at the price of a permanent hypocrisy
that I can't stand anymore.
As Americans say "I am what they are".
I don't know what to do. Paul.
Jérôme. I've decided to not come back to Paris.
I've called my office. Don't try to see me again.
I'm sorry. Paul.
You have found Paul.
The only way to see him,
to have him again,
is to become the master of his master.
Saturday the 10th of December 1977.
timings : zoPZ translation : aloysius70