宇宙守护神 保护我们远离邪恶 Guardian of the universe protecting us against the forces of evil.
他能徒手抓住子弹 拦住疾速的火车 He can catch a bullet. halt a speeding train.
轻轻一跳就能飞跃高楼 And leap tall buildings in a single bound.
-在天上! -是鸟? 还是飞机? - Up in the sky! - is it a bird? is it a plane?
白天只是一名邮差 晚上却化身超级英雄 A mailman by day. the city's guardian by night.
保卫纽约市民免受邪恶滋扰 Defending the citizens of New York from the forces of evil.
一群超乎常人的英雄们 The world has been protected by a group of extraordinary men and women...
致力于与犯罪作斗争 保护这个世界 ...who have dedicated themselves to fighting crime.
另一个世界的神秘来客 Mysterious traveller from another dimension.
他的力量远远超出了人类 He has powers far beyond the capabilities of mere earthlings.
我总是奇怪 为什么在我之前没人尝试过 I always wondered why nobody did it before me.
想想看 在那些漫画 电影 电视剧里 I mean, all those comic books, movies, tvshows.
你以为只有真正怪癖宅人才会给自己做一身超人装 You'd think that one eccentric loner would have made himself a costume.
我是说 日常生活真这么激动人心吗? I mean, is everyday life really so exciting?
学校和公司生活真这么惊心动魄 Are schools and offices so thrilling...
以至于只有我才去幻想这些吗? ...that I'm the only one who ever fantasized about this?
得了吧 坦白说 Come on, be honest with yourself.
每个人心中 都想成为一个超级英雄 At some point in our lives we all wanted to be a superhero.
顺便 这可不是我 That's not me, by the way.
而是某个有精神病的亚美尼亚人 That's some Armenian guy with a history of mental health problems.
我是何人? Who am I?
我是"海扁王" I'm Kick-Ass.
这才是我 当时这些破事还没发生 That's me... back before any of this crazy shit happened.
我大概是那种最不像超级英雄的人了 I guess I was the last person you'd expect to become a superhero.
不是说我有什么不正常 I'm not saying there was anything wrong with me...
而是再正常不过了 ...but there's nothing special, either.
-混球! -我体育不好 - asshole! - I wasn't into sports.
数学不好 也不擅长打游戏 I wasn't a mathlete or a hard core gamer.
我身上没穿过环 也没厌食症 I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder,
Space上好友也不多 or 3000 friends on myspace.
我唯一的超能力就是能让女生们忽视我 My only superpower was being invisible to girls.
就算在朋友里 我也不是最会搞笑的 And out of my friends, man, I wasn't even the funny one.
和大多数我的同龄人一样 我再普通不过了 Like most people my age, I just existed.
同学们 早上好 Good morning, class.
请打开书本 翻到第二幕 第二场 Please open your books to act two, scene two.
要是你闯进我卧室 多半会发现我在看电视 Kick in my bedroom door and you'll probably find me watching tv...
要不就是在Skype上跟我朋友陶德聊天 ...or talking to my friend todd on skype.
-你看《恶搞之家》吗? -不看 - You watching 'family guy'? - No.
我也不看 去看巨乳网 很赞的 Me neither. turn on nippleslip. com. it's good.
要不就是在打手枪 通常是意淫我的英文老师 Or jerking off, mostly to my english teacher.
戴夫·莱泽斯基 别以为我没发现你盯着我的胸看 Dave Lizewski. don't think I haven't noticed you looking at my tits.
来吧 戴夫 快来爱抚我吧 Oh, I want your hands all over me, Dave. please.
当然 平凡无奇的学校日子 Sure, a lot of what got me through the average school day...
只有靠打打灰机来打发 ...was making deposits in the whac koff warehouse for later.
但说实话 我的兴奋点比较低 Though, to be honest, it didn't take much to set me off.
我发誓 一旦我的荷尔蒙恢复正常 I swear, when my hormones balance out...
就用不着耗费这么多纸巾了 伙计 ...shares in kleenex are gonna take a dive, man.
戴夫·莱泽斯基 专心看你的《哈姆雷特》 Dave Lizewski. shouldn't you be looking at 'Hamlet' right now?
好的 赞恩女士 Yes, mrs Zane.
抱歉 Sorry.
别误会 我也喜欢同龄女生 But don't get me wrong. I like girls my own age, too.
-特别是凯蒂·多玛 -你好 美人儿 - Especially Katie Deauxma. - Hey, gorgeous.
你好 Hey.
哦不 Oh... no.
你是指艾丽卡吧 You meant Erika.
我知道 我只是在开玩笑 I know. I knew that. I was just kidding.
好吧 不好笑 Okay, cool.
我的天 Oh my god.
看 这是陶德的老妈 Hey, look, I'm Todd's mom.
真好笑 这是你老爸 That's funny. this is your dad.
不 那还是我妈 No, that's still my mom, actually.
我操! Oh, the fuck!
我只是个普通人 I was just a regular guy.
没被蜘蛛咬过 也不是流亡地球的外星人[蜘蛛侠和超人] No radioactive spiders, no refugee status from a doomed alien world.
陶德说"巧古拉伯爵"[一种麦片]还没停产 You know what? Todd said they do still make count Chocula.
只是超市里不卖了而已 They just don't sell it at the store any more.
我老妈得了动脉瘤 死在了厨房里 My mother was killed by an aneurism in the kitchen.
而不是在小巷子里被人枪杀[蝙蝠侠] As opposed to a gunman in the alley.
所以要是你指望有以下的桥段 So if you were hoping for any...
我会为你报仇 母亲大人! I will avenge you, mother!
你会失望的 ...you're out of luck.
我妈去世十八个月之后 In the 18 months since my mother died...
我唯一的顿悟就是 生活还得继续 ...the only epiphany I had was realising that life just goes on.
包装上的蜜蜂形象变了吗? Did they change the bee's face?
没有 No.
怎么从来没人试着做个超级英雄? How come nobody's ever tried to be a superhero?
我不知道 大概是因为根本不可能吧 笨蛋 Boy, I dunno. probably because it's fucking impossible, dipshit.
戴上面具 助人为乐 这有什么不可能? What, putting on a mask and helping people, how's that impossible?
那又不算是超级英雄 That's not superhero, though.
所谓超级 就要上天入地 比其他人都强 Super's like being stronger than everybody and flying and shit.
你那最多只是英雄 That's just hero.
不 连英雄都不算 只能算是疯子 No, it's not even hero. it's just fucking psycho.
那蝙蝠侠呢? 他又没超能力 Hello? Bruce Wayne? he didn't have any powers.
对 但他有一身根本造不出来的牛逼装备 Yes, but he had all the expensive shit that doesn't exist.
你是问现实生活 现实生活中没有这套? I thought you meant how come nobody does it in real life?
没错 陶德 我就是这个意思 Yeah, Todd, that's what I meant.
老兄 要是现实生活中真有人这么做 不被海扁才怪 Dude, if anybody did it in real life they'd get their ass kicked.
-估计撑不过一天就挂了 -没错 - They'd be dead in, like, a day. - A day.
好吧 我不是说要有人这么做 Yeah, okay, I'm not saying they should do it.
我只是很费解 为什么没人尝试 I just can't figure out why nobody does.
说真的 有那么多人喜欢超级英雄 Seriously, out of all the millions of people who love superheroes,
难道就没人想去尝试吗 You'd think one would give it a try.
天啊 难道你们不困惑吗? Jesus, guys, does it not bug you?
为什么成千上万的人挖空心思 Why thousands of people wanna be Paris
想成为帕丽斯·希尔顿 却没人想当蜘蛛侠? Hilton and nobody wants to be spiderman?
对呀 为啥呢? 她的胸那么小 跟没有一样 Yeah, what's with that? she has, like, no tits at all.
估计是因为她的性爱自拍吧 蜘蛛侠没拍过 Maybe it's a porn tape. he doesn't have a porn tape.
你们难道没看过《与蜘蛛侠的一夜风流》[A片]? You guys never saw 'One Night in Spiderman'?
猜猜谁来了? Oooh, guess who?
你们谁跟我一样? 觉得克里斯·达米科很可怜 Is it me or do you kinda feel sorry for chris D'Amico?
老爸那么有钱 永远要啥有啥 真是糟透了 Must be terrible to have a rich dad and everything you want.
真希望你啥都没说 I wish you wouldn't have said anything
我都要哭出来了 Cos I feel like I'm gonna start crying...
事实上 他总是独来独往 The fact that he's always on his own.
我们应该跟他聊聊 We should, like, talk to him.
看看他愿不愿意跟我们一块玩 See if he wants to hang out with us.
我不是说就去搭个讪而已 Oh, I didn't say we should talk to him, I just...
想想看 有他这样的朋友该多牛逼 Think about it. come on, it'd be awesome.
看谁还敢来找我们的麻烦 If he was our friend, no one would ever fuck with us again.
那你去吧 陶德 Go on then, Todd.
-你想和他聊聊吗? -不 不 不 - You wanna go talk to him? - No, no, no. no.
为什么 你想和他聊? 我可以让个位置 No, you wanna go talk to him? I can move.
-应该让戴夫去 -对 应该让戴夫去 - Dave, Dave should go. - Dave should go.
-为什么? -戴夫 是该让你去 - Why? - Dave, you should totally go.
-损友 -不要怕 戴夫 - You're a dick. - Don't be afraid, dave.
你们真怂 You're a pussy.
滚开! Fuck off!
-你刚才是不是吓死了? -我都快尿裤子了 - Did you spray anything over there? - I think I might have shat my pants.
要是换了我 肯定海扁他一顿 If that guy spoke to me like that I would have kicked his ass.
算了吧 你什么时候跟人动过手? Todd, when have you ever kicked anyone's ass?
不管怎样 我可以偷袭他膝盖 Whatever, man. I would have just gone for his knees.
你说得没道理 Well, you're not making sense.
我是说蝙蝠镖的强大威力 Well, what I'm saying is the superior force of batman's batarang
肯定能穿透小丑的动力场 would undoubtedly penetrate the joker's force field,
这样他就完全无力抵抗... Leaving him totally vulnerable to the...
-好吧 但是... -那俩娘娘腔又来了 - All right, and then... but, you know... - Whoa, whoa, whoa pussy patrol.
手机 钱 交出来 Phones. Money.
不是吧 大哥 又来 Dude, not again, come on.
还有手机 Phone.
我没手机 上星期被人抢了 I don't have one someone else jacked it last week.
-废物 -袋子给我 - Pussy. - Give me the bag.
-里面都是漫画书 -少废话 想挨刀子吗? - It's just comics. - Yo, you wanna get cut?
你瞧这混蛋 就那么干看着 Look at this asshole just watching.
得了吧 说实话 Come on, be honest with yourself.
要是你 你又能怎样? Would you do anything differently?
当你看见别人陷于危难 你想要伸出援手 We see someone in trouble and we wish we could help,
可你就是做不到 But we don't.
在我生活的这个世界 英雄只存在于漫画里 The world I lived in... heroes only existed in comic books.
要是坏蛋也一样 那其实也没什么 I guess that would have been okay if bad guys were make-believe, too.
可是坏蛋不一样 But they're not.
阿弗 我发誓我没胡编 Frankie, I'm telling you, man, I swear I'm not making this up.
那个王八蛋 不知道从哪儿冒出来 This fucking guy comes out of nowhere.
海扁了我们一顿 把可卡因都抢光了 Kicks our asses and steals all the coke.
-那家伙像蝙蝠侠吗? -我什么时候说蝙蝠侠了 - The guy that looks like batman? - I didn't say he looked like batman.
你说了 崔 你说那家伙像蝙蝠侠 You did Tre, you said the guy looked like batman.
-他说对方带了面具啥的 -还有斗篷 - He said like a mask and stuff. - And a cape.
那就是蝙蝠侠嘛 Yeah, like batman.
我没说像蝙蝠侠 我压根没提过蝙蝠侠 I didn't say "like batman". I never said "batman".
好吧 Okay.
我来告诉你问题出在哪 崔 Let me tell you the problem I got with that, Tre.
我们在俄国佬那边的卧底说法有点不一样 Our mole with the Russians tells things a little different.
据他所说 是你卖了我的毒品还私吞了这笔钱 According to him, you sold him my coke and you took the money.
那是他妈的胡扯! That's a fucking lie!
难以置信 你居然相信俄国佬胡扯的屁话 I can't believe that you would believe this shit from a fucking Russian,
伙计! Man!
崔 咱倒是分析下 哪种说法更可信? Let me see, Tre, what's more likely, huh?
要么是你这个利欲熏心的小王八蛋 That you're a greedy little
要么是超人大驾光临抢走了我的毒品? Cock-sucker or all my coke was stolen by superman?
-是蝙蝠侠 -我没说是蝙蝠侠! - Batman. - I never said batman!
够了! Enough!
我儿子还在等我带他去看电影 我不想扫他兴 My son is waiting to go to the movies and I ain't gonna disappoint him.
乔 这事你看着办 Joe, you're in charge.
这是我这辈子听过最烂的借口 崔 That's gotta be the worst fucking excuse I ever heard, Tre.
抱歉让你久等了 儿子 Sorry you had to wait, buddy.
电影再过十分钟就要开场了 the movie is starting in 10 minutes.
这有什么 It's okay, we're cool.
大不了错过预告片 We're only gonna miss the trailers.
对 可是我还想买点爆米花 Yeah, but I wanna get some popcorn.
到了之后给克里斯买点爆米花 知道吗? When we get in there, get chris some popcorn. okay?
想喝点什么? What d'you wanna drink?
-百事可乐吗? -行 - You want a pepsi? - Yeah, that's fine.
给他买罐百事可乐 我来杯思乐冰 混合口味的 Get him a pepsi and I'll have an icee. mixed.
就是那种红加蓝的[樱桃加蓝莓] Like when they mix the red one and the blue one.
再来包扭扭糖 And a pack of twizzlers.
漫画书里说得不对 The comic books had it wrong.
想成为超级英雄并不需要经历创伤 It didn't take a trauma or cosmic
宇宙射线或者能量戒指 rays or a power ring to make a superhero.
只需要一点点乐观 再加一点点天真 Just the perfect combination of optimism and naivety.
你帅毙了 You are fucking awesome.
来吧 放马过来! Come on then, bring it on!
-爸爸 我害怕 -来吧 敏蒂 宝贝儿 - Daddy, I'm scared. - come on, mindy. honey.
你都这么大了 没什么好怕的 Be a big girl now. there's nothing to be afraid of.
-会很痛吗? -孩子 - Is it gonna hurt bad? - Oh, child.
一下子就好了 小宝贝 Only for a second, sugar.
手枪子弹的速度会超过 A handgun bullet travels at more than...
-每小时七百码 -对 - 700 miles an hour. - 700 miles an hour.
所以在这样的距离 So at close range, like this,
冲力肯定会让你腾空而起 The force is gonna take you off your feet for sure...
但是不会比当胸一拳更疼 ...but it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest.
我讨厌被当胸一拳 I hate getting punched in the chest.
你会没事的 小宝贝 You're gonna be fine, baby doll.
感觉如何? 也不是很疼吧 How was that? not so bad.
挺好玩的吧? 现在你知道这种感觉了 Kinda fun, huh? now you know how it feels.
下回你再见到有人掏出一把格洛克 就不会害怕了 You won't be scared when some junkie asshole pulls a glock.
-我什么时候怕过 -这才是我的宝贝女儿 - I wouldn't have been scared anyways. - That's my girl.
好了 起来吧 All right, up you get. come on.
再来两回 我们就回家 Two more rounds and then home.
-还来啊? -对啊 - Again? - Uh-huh.
那回去的时候得带我去保龄球馆 Only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back.
-保龄球馆? -对 然后再来点冰淇淋 - The bowling alley? - Yeah. and ice-cream after.
行 再来两轮 不准躲不准叫 Okay. two more rounds. no wincing...
咱们就成交 小家伙 ...no whining, and you got yourself a deal, young lady.
我要份奶油巧克力圣代 Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae.
好品位 宝贝儿 Good call, baby doll.
你还想要点什么生日礼物? So, have you thought about what you might want for your birthday?
我能要只小狗吗? Can I get a puppy?
-你想要只狗吗? -对 毛茸茸的那种 - You wanna get a dog? - Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one.
再要个影星版的街头美少女莎雪娃娃 And a bratz moviestar makeover sasha.
我耍你的 老爸 I'm just fucking with you, daddy.
我想要把蝴蝶牌的四十二型蝴蝶刀 Look, I'll have a benchmade model-42 butterfly knife.
宝贝儿 你总是吓我一跳 Oh, child. you always knock me for a loop.
-你猜怎着? -怎么? - You know what? - What?
-我给你买两把 -真的? - I'm gonna get you two. - Two?
两把蝴蝶刀 全都给你 One balisong. two balisong. that's what you get.
[出自哈姆雷特]风流的宝镜 人伦的雅范 The glass of fashion and the mould of form.
-举世注目的中心 -安静! - The observed of all observers, - Quite, quite down!
这样无可挽回地殒落 And I, of ladies most deject and wretched...
说句老实话 I'll be honest,
刚开始那几周我打击罪犯的机会并不多 There wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks.
即便如此 我的新生活也够忙的 But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy.
见鬼 Shit.
我管这叫预备期 I called it preparation.
但你要说我这是在做白日梦 我也没法反驳 But if you called it fantasizing, it would have been hard to argue.
我只知道 我的自我感觉从没有这么好过 All I knew was I'd never felt so good about myself.
操! Fuck!
好吧 大概我还处于基础调试期 Okay, maybe I was still in the beta testing phase.
但这仅仅是个开始 But it was a start.
你他妈看什么呢? What the fuck are you looking at?
-没什么 -快他妈给我滚! - Nothing. - Get the fuck out of here!
每个连环杀手都明白 Like every serial killer already knew,
总有一天幻想将无法再满足你的需要 Eventually fantasizing just doesn't do it for you any more.
是时候付诸行动了 It was time to engage.
快点 伙计 Hurry up, man.
我操 这搞什么? What the fuck...?
你他妈看什么呢? The fuck you looking at?
我问你 你他妈看什么呢? I said what the fuck are you looking at?
两个垃圾人渣在撬一辆汽车 Two cheap shit losers screwing with a car...
要知道那可是人家拼死拼活挣来的 ...that someone probably worked their ass off to pay for.
-你说啥? -别管他了 伙计 - Say what? - Leave it be, man.
这傻逼肯定是磕多了 This motherfucker's obviously high.
我没嗑药 I'm not high.
我只是觉得你们不能为所欲为 I just think it sucks you guys think you can do what you want.
远离那辆车 我就当这事没发生过 Just walk away from the car and we can forget about this.
你疯了吧 哥们 You're crazy, man.
打死丫的 Fuck this shit.
-操 -快跑 - Shit. - Let's get out of here.
我求了医生半天 I came round long enough to beg the
让他别跟其他人说我的装扮 Medic not to tell anybody about the costume.
他答应了 He promised he wouldn't.
我只知道我老爸一定会杀了我 All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me.
为什么我没枪? 我是保安啊 Why can't I have a gun? I'm a security guard.
你现在就是个看门的 不会再有枪了 You're a doorman now. you don't get a gun no more.
我看起来真衰 I look like a putz.
挺好的 看这钮扣多帅 干你该干的 快他妈开门 You look sharp. all them buttons. do your job, open the fucking door.
祝您愉快 Have a nice day.
-早上好 弗兰克 -早 乔 你好吗? - Good morning, Frank. - Hey, Joe, how you doing?
很好 Great.
-来点咖啡吗? -待会吧 - Want some coffee? - Maybe later.
-早上好 安吉 -早 - Morning, Ange. - Morning.
-克里斯 -早 乔 - Chris. - Morning, Joe.
弗兰克 我有事找你 Frank, we got a thing.
是件大事 弗兰克 It's a big thing, Frank.
行 Okay.
-失陪了 -忙你的事去吧 - Sorry, hon. - Do what you gotta do.
-克里斯 你要去干嘛? -我要跟老爸谈一下 - Chris, where do you think you're going? - I gotta talk to dad.
克里斯多夫 Christopher.
亲爱的 弗兰克 Frank, honey.
你跟着来干嘛? Where do you think you're going?
爸 我不介意你在我面前谈生意 我可以就这么听着 I don't mind you talking business. I was just gonna sit quietly.
我也该开始学点东西了 I should probably start learning this stuff anyway.
回去吃你的饭 Hey, go finish your oatmeal.
该死 我还有八个月就成年了 God-dammit, I'm gonna be 18 in 8 months, for christ sakes.
坐下来吧 Take a seat.
出什么事了? So what's the problem?
俄罗斯佬说崔以半价又卖给他们五公斤 Our Russian says that tre just sold him another 5 k's at half price.
-哪一个崔? 就是那个崔吗? -对 死了的崔 - Which Tre? Tre Tre? - Right. dead Tre.
这么说我他妈地被鬼给阴了一把咯? So now I'm getting fucked in the ass by a ghost?
不然就是崔没说谎 Or tre was telling the truth.
啥 我沦落至此了吗? 不是相信鬼就是相信超级英雄? What, this is my choice? I gotta believe in ghosts or superheroes?
不关超级英雄的事 阿弗 Not the part about the superhero, Frankie.
可能只是有人抢了他的货 Just that he might have really been gaffled by somebody.
我想是时候 请俄国佬来谈一谈了 I think we better invite our russian over for a friendly chat.
看看到底怎么回事 See what's really going on.
宝贝儿 起得真早 败给你了 Hey, early birdie. you beat me to it.
我本来还想着给你做早餐呢 I wanted to get you breakfast this morning.
生日快乐 宝贝儿 Happy birthday, sweetheart.
拆开看看吧 Check this out.
太谢谢你了 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
我的天啊! 老爸 Oh my gosh! dad.
真酷 老爸 Wow. watch, dad.
好了 突击测验 你知道这把刀的来历吗? Okay, pop quiz. what's the proper name for one of those?
原产自菲律宾的蝴蝶刀 换一个问问 Balisong. it's Filipino. Ask me another.
非常棒 Excellent, good.
AR15半自动步枪 The AR15 was a lighter...
是哪一种枪的口径缩小版? ...smaller calibre version of what design?
尤金·斯通纳生产的AR-10 来道有难度的吧 Eugene Stoner's AR10. now give me a hard one.
吴宇森的... The name of...
第一部故事长片是什么? ...John Woo's first full-length feature?
《铁汉柔情》 'Tie Han Rou Qing'. 'The Young Dragons'.
老爸 快看 Daddy, look.
快看啊 你怎么都不看 Hey, come on, you're not looking.
居然有人干掉了我们的人 The point is some fucker is killing our guys.
你们这群白痴还坐着干嘛 And until we find out who that is,
快他妈把他给我找出来 I don't wanna see any of you bitches sitting around on your asses,
听到了吗?! All right?!
真他妈... What the fuck d'you...
喂 Hello.
乔 你好 Hey, Joe, yeah.
他正在练拳 等一下 No, he's just training right now. one second.
爸 电话 Dad. phone.
爸 你的电话 Dad, the phone's for you.
-谁? -是乔 - Who is it? - It's joe.
有什么事? What's the problem?
弗兰克 Yeah, Frank...
俺们以后用不着老虎钳了 Turns out we ain't got the vice here no more.
-是吗? -嗯哼 - Really? - Uh-uh.
但我们这次有了新技术 But we do got a brand new industrial
微波炉 用来处理木材的 Microwave -they use it for treating the lumber.
这不错 够干净 Well, that is neat.
你知不知道你要干什么 I think you must be confusing me with someone who
别管什么烂鬼木材! Gives a shit about the fucking lumber!
-好的 我知道了 -别跟我唧唧歪歪了 - yeah, o-okay. all right, frank. - now quit bugging me and
好吧 我错了 行了吗? All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I...
他妈的赶快把消息套出来 Get the fucking rest of the information.
知道了 All right, okay.
来 动手吧 Right, come on, go ahead.
那人说他叫崔·费尔南德斯 Hey, look, the guys tell me he's Tre Fernandez.
我又不知道? What do I know, huh?
-闭嘴 -你又说费尔南德斯已经死了 - Shut up. - Now you say Fernandez is dead.
-他在撒谎 -闭嘴 给我进去 - Okay, he lie. - Get inside. shut up.
-他撒谎 -真他妈见鬼 - He lie about... - Fucking mamaluke...
这玩意跟普通的微波炉一样吗? This work like a regular microwave?
我知道个屁啊? 又不是要把他煮了吃 打开就好 Fuck do I know? we're not making a hungry man dinner. just turn it on.
开始了 Here we go.
快说 谁把我们的可卡因卖给你的 Okay, I wanna know who sold you our coke.
不要再拿个死人来糊弄我 And don't tell me somebody who's dead this time.
他听得到吗? 我觉得他听不到 Can he hear you? I don't think he can hear you.
到底是谁卖给你我们的可卡因? I said who really sold you our coke?
到底是谁 Who sold...
卖给你我们的可卡因? ...you... our... coke?
我操! Oh, shit! shit!
酷毙了! This is awesome!
我简直就像金刚狼一样 I look like fricking wolverine.
你们学校还有金属检测器吗[金刚狼体内都是超级金属]? You still have that metal detector at your school?
对 测出来吓死他们 Yeah. it's gonna have a meltdown.
戴夫 我要问你点事情 Dave, I need to ask you something.
问吧 Okay.
警察的报告说 发现你时 你没穿衣服 The police report. they found you naked.
你也什么都不记得了 You said you didn't remember why.
那些劫匪 他们有没有... The muggers, they didn't...
什么? What?
不 老天 不是那样的 我甚至... No. jesus. no, I... I wasn't even...
在救护车上时 因为都是血 所以医生把我的衣服脱了 In the ambulance they threw my clothes away because of the blood.
好吧 Okay, okay.
没过多久 我就回到了学校 Seemed like no time at all before I was back on my feet.
-戴夫怎么了? -小声点 - Dave's what? - Keep it down.
除了颜面尽失 Apart from some messed-up nerve endings,
我痊愈得还算不错 The doctors fixed me up pretty good.
-痛吗? -不痛 - Did you feel that? - No.
你就像杰森·伯恩一样[谍影重重主角] 酷 You're like fucking Jason Bourne or something, man. that owns.
-这样呢? -别这样 小马 - How about that? - No, Marty.
别烦我了好吗 Give it a fucking rest.
我刚回来半天 I've only been back like half a day and
就被你们搞得想回医院去了 You're already making me kinda miss the hospital.
好吧 对不起 我太孩子气了 He's right. I'm sorry. I'm acting totally childish.
-别这样 -看好 - Stop with the fork. - Watch this.
你好 Hey.
戴夫 你好 Dave, hey.
你好 Oh, hey.
你怎样? 看起来好多了 How are you? you look better.
我没事 现在好多了 I'm good. yeah, much better.
你喜欢看漫画书吧? You're into comic books, aren't you?
艾丽卡和我放学后有时会去漫画商店逛逛 Well, me and Erika sometimes hang out after school
那家原子漫画店很赞 At this really great store -atomic comics.
那边的白巧克力拿铁很赞 They make the best white chocolate milk-a-latte.
是吗? Yeah?
要是你想找人聊聊 我能请你喝一杯 I could buy you one sometime if you need someone to talk to.
-当然 谢谢 -好吧 - Sure. thank you. - Okay.
赞 回头见 Sweet. well, I'll see you later.
-你们看到没? -嗯? - Did you see that? - Yeah?
凯蒂居然要请我喝咖啡 Katie Deauxma just offered to buy me coffee.
好吧 这绝不是你想象的那样 Yeah. you know, I really don't think that's what it looks like.
-你说什么? -问题是 - What are you talking about? - The point is...
凯蒂只是同情弱势群体 ...Katie's all about the lame ducks.
这和我有什么关系? What's this got to do with me?
我在想怎么告诉你好 I've been trying to figure out how to tell you this.
-最近学校里有流言说 -对 - There's a rumour going around... - Right.
-说你是... -啥? - ...that you... - What?
-同性恋 -啥?! - ...are gay. - Gay?!
-怎么会有这种流言? -你被抢劫了 - What kind of rumour's that? - Well, getting mugged and...
-你们都被抢劫过啊 -对 但是... - You guys have been mugged. - I know, but...
你被狂扁一顿 还被扒光衣服 ...we didn't get beat up and have all our clothes taken off.
才不是那样 是医护人员把我的衣服脱掉的 It's not even true. the medic threw my clothes away.
别在意了 只是流言而已 Don't worry about it. rumours don't mean shit.
我们知道你不是的 We know the truth.
对吧? Right?
-是啊 -就是嘛 - Yeah. - Yeah.
谁知道呢 搞不好你能把她搞定 Who knows, this might even get you laid.
她如果以为他是基佬就没戏 陶德 你个白痴 No, not if she thinks he's gay, Todd. you fucking retard.
-多谢你泼冷水 小马! -我只是实话实说 - That's really fucking helping me! - I'm just being honest.
我又回到了老样子 I was getting back to my old self.
也许我应该放弃 I should have quit, of course...
但人不能说重来就重来 ...but you can't just re-programme yourself...
你是谁 想要什么 人生目标 ...what you want, who you are, your purpose in life.
不 我只是路过 No, I'm just standing around.
才不是! No, I'm not!
-就是这样而已 -尝到厉害了吧? - It is what it is. - How about that, huh?
你怕了吧? Oh, yeah. didn't see that, did you?
你最好赶快滚蛋 Think it's best that you just walk away.
你最好别这么干 Well maybe you shouldn't do that.
啥? What? huh?
你看什么看? Are you looking at me?
这事我管定了 Well, this is my business.
我吗? 我已经重生 Me? my hardware was fixed now.
海扁王升级版重新登场 I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0.
不好意思 你见过这只猫吗? Excuse me. Have you seen this cat?
没有吗? 好吧 谢谢 No? okay, thank you.
打搅下 夫人 你见过这只猫吗? Excuse me, ma'am, have you seen this cat?
不好意思 你见过这只猫吗? I'm sorry, did you see this cat?
没有吗? 好吧 No? okay.
太好了! Oh, great!
猫咪 过来 Here, kitty. here, mr Bitey.
哦不 别这样 Come on. no, no, no, no, no.
不 咬咬猫先生 过来 No, no, no. mr Bitey, come on.
回来 我带你回家 Back here. come on, let's get you home. come on.
滚你的 臭猫! Fuck you, mr Bitey!
天 哥们 不好意思 Oh, god, I'm so sorry, man.
你他妈... You fucking...
多谢 怪胎 Thanks, freak.
-放开他 -滚开 关你屁事 - Leave him alone. - Fuck off, it's none of your business.
管定了 Yes it is.
快报警! Hey, call 911!
有个穿得像超级英雄的人 在外面跟一群人打起来了 Hey, there's a dude dressed like a superhero fighting a bunch of guys.
真是酷毙了! It's fucking awesome!
放开他! Leave him alone!
放弃吧 赶快滚蛋 Give it up, man. just walk away.
绝不 No, never.
你他妈脑子烧坏了吗? 你又不认识他 What the fuck is wrong with you? you'd rather die for some piece of shit..
你愿意为他而死吗? ...that you don't even fucking know?
你们当着那么多人三打一 You 3 assholes laying into 1 guy while everybody else watches.
到底是谁脑子有病?! And you wanna know what's wrong with me?!
没错 我宁愿死 放马过来! Yeah, I'd rather die. so bring it on!
妈的 你这小子真的疯了 You're fucking crazy, kid.
谢谢 Thank you.
什么?! What?!
谢谢你 Thank you.
这真是帅呆了 你是谁? That fucking rocked. who are you?
我是海扁王 I'm Kick-Ass.
老兄 你一定要看看这个 Dude, you gotta check this shit out.
什么东西? What is it?
一小时后 And coming up after the hour.
一位蒙面正义使者红遍各大网站 A costume vigilante has become the latest internet phenomenon...
汉密尔顿公园的一位居民 拍下了他的英雄壮举 After a Hamilton park resident filmed the man's remarkable intervention...
-酷毙了 -可不是! - This is awesome. - Fuck, yeah!
欢迎收看纽约特别视点 Welcome to this special edition of eye on New York.
你愿意付出多少代价 去帮助身边的人? How far would you go to help your fellow man?
这位身着异服的人 路见不平对抗黑帮 This colourful individual has been all over the news...
各大新闻已经纷纷报道 ...after a video of his intervention of street gang violence...
同时也成为点击率最高的网络视频 ...became the most watched clip on the internet.
你们当着那么多人... You 3 assholes laying into 1 guy...
我的Space上只有38个好友 Myspace...38 friends.
而海扁王的Space上已经有一万六千多好友 Kick Ass's myspace...16,000 and counting.
实在太疯狂了 我就爱这种感觉 This thing was going crazy and I was loving it.
我们迫切想知道这个人到底是谁 And finally, we want to know who is this man.
谁有任何关于这位潜水服英雄的线索? Does anyone have any idea who this wetsuit crusader is?
他一定就在我们的身边 He must be someone's son, someone's brother,
我们身边的普通人 Someone's next door neighbour.
我的妈呀 怎么回事? Holy shit. what happened?
就是这家伙 What happened? this guy happened.
诸位 这是美国史上的伟大一天 It's a great day for america, everybody.
现在大家都爱上了这位超级英雄 海扁王? Everybody's favourite superhero right now. Kick-Ass, right?
没错! Yeah!
我爱海扁王 他的装扮太疯狂了 I like kick-ass. his costume is crappy.
看着像个异装癖 He looks like a transvestite...
你知道吗?大家都爱海扁王 You know what? Everyone likes kick-ass.
你看那视频了吗? 他还真有两下子 Did you see the clip? He was actually pretty good.
我看他被扁得真惨 Good at getting his ass kicked.
他还不如叫挨扁王呢 He should call himself ass-kick instead.
你真无聊 That doesn't even make sense.
我觉得这家伙一定死得很惨 That guy's gonna end up dead, that's what I think.
真的吗? 我觉得他酷毙了 Are you serious? The guy owns.
我都想发邮件让他帮我解决麻烦 I'd e-mail his site if I had a problem worth fixing.
我有一百号人能帮你 你居然找个紧身裤男? I got 100 guys can fix a problem, you'd hire some putz in pantyhose?
但问题是你从来不让我参与你的生意 I wouldn't wanna get in the way of your 'business' where I'm not wanted.
我想你们猜我就是海扁王 可惜我不是 I know you have mistaken me for kick-ass, but I am not kick-ass.
其实你不看漫画吧? So you don't actually read comics?
我刚开始感兴趣 I just started.
有人给我推荐了一些 I got recommended some like Scott Pilgrim and Shojo Beat,
比如《歪小子斯科特》之类 That kinda thing.
可我对超级英雄还是不太感冒 I'm not really into the whole superhero thing, though.
我想你应该不会喜欢海扁王吧? So I guess you're not gonna line up for that new kick-ass comic, then?
是不喜欢 但我真想过给他发邮件 I guess not. but I was seriously thinking of mailing his site.
我是说 我真的有事想求他帮忙 I mean, I could really use some help from a guy like that right now.
是吗? 什么事要他帮忙? Help? really? what with?
你也知道我在针头交换处做义工[为防止艾滋病]? You know I volunteer at the needle exchange?
不 我不知道 No, I didn't.
那儿有个叫拉苏尔的人 我觉得他很可怜 Well, there's this one guy, Rasul. I felt so sorry for him and...
知道他的抚恤金之类的事后 我就更加... ...the more I found out about his upbringing and stuff, I just...
奇怪了 通常是我安慰别人的 Wow, that's weird. I'm usually the one playing therapist.
我能对你坦白吗? Can I make a confession?
从很小的时候 我就一直希望能有一个 Ever since I was little I've always wanted a friend...
像你这样的朋友 ...like you.
这样说行吗? 其实我不讨厌同性恋? Is it okay to say that? that's not homophobic, is it?
当然 我觉得你还是和我们不一样 I mean, I don't think you're all the same or anything.
我当然不介意 Of course not, no.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我不知道凯蒂想要啥样的同性恋知己 I don't know if I was everything Katie dreamed her gay bff would be...
不过我会尽力的 ...but I tried my best.
更重要的是 我说服她给海扁王发了邮件 More importantly, I talked her into mailing Kick-Ass.
长话短说 她的那个可怜巴巴的朋友 Long story short, this particular lame duck of hers...
如今成了一条地头蛇 ...turned out to be more of a lame cobra.
她不需要他还钱 She didn't want the money back she'd given him...
也不接受他对自己施暴的道歉 ...or an apology for the black eye he'd given her.
她只想让他明白他们毫无瓜葛了 She just wanted him to get that they were through and leave her alone.
说真的 我十分乐意为此效劳 And let's be real, no other request could have given me more pleasure.
你他妈是什么东西? 蔬菜套套吗? Who the fuck are you supposed to be? The green condom?
小鬼 离万圣节还有几个月呢? You know it ain't halloween for another few months, kid?
我是来找拉苏尔的 I'm here to see Rasul.
你谁啊? Who the fuck are you?
我是海...我是凯蒂的朋友 I'm Ki... I'm a friend of Katie's.
现在的小屁孩都这副德行 Kids nowadays in their tights.
那个 你们谁是拉苏尔啊? So, which one of you guys is Rasul?
我就是拉苏尔 认不出我的大胸吗? I'm Rasul. can't you tell by my big titties?
你谁呀? 玩万圣节把戏吗? What is this? trick or treat or something?
见鬼 我死了 Fuck. now I'm dead.
我给拉苏尔带个信 关于凯蒂·多玛的事 I've a message for Rasul about Katie Deauxma.
凯蒂? Katie?
这么说 你是拉苏尔咯? Oh, you're Rasul?
你得离凯蒂远一点 都结束了 Okay. you gotta stay away from Katie now. It's over.
别再纠缠她了 一切都会相安无事 So if you just leave her alone everything will be fine.
说什么呢? What?
小鬼 你以为你是谁啊? Yo, kid. who the hell are you?
你这什么行头? And what is this?
我是海扁王 别小看我 I'm kick-ass. Look me up.
就是我在给你传话 别再缠着凯蒂 And this is me giving you a message. Leave Katie alone.
不然怎样? Or what?
不然 我就会回来 Or... I'll come back...
打断你的贱腿 ...and break your fucking legs.
我不逃也不躲 来吧 I'm right here now, baby.
我操! Fuck!
抓住他 Hold him.
你他妈死定了 小子 You are so fucking dead, man.
好了 婊子们 让姑奶奶瞧瞧你们的能耐 Okay, you cunts. Let's see what you can do now.
一二三四五 Eeny, meeny...
上山打老虎 ...miny, mo.
搞什么?! What the fuck?!
我也有一把哟 Hey, I got one of those.
来吧 Come on.
这么说你想玩咯 So you wanna play.
搞毛? What the fuck?
老兄 居然用电击枪 太娘了吧 Oh, dude, that is one gay-looking taser.
别紧张 我们是一伙的 Relax, we're on the same team.
起来吧 Hey, get up.
超杀女 永远别忘记 背要朝向哪儿? Now, hit girl, we always keep our backs where?
朝向墙 爸爸 我知道 下不为例 To the wall, daddy, I know. it won't happen again.
-对了 枪法真准 -谢谢 - Nice shot, by the way. - Thank you.
我们走吧 Let's go.
傻子 不能走前门 Hey, asshole, you can't use the front door now.
等一下 Wait, wait, wait.
什么? What?
你是谁? Who are you?
我吗? Me?
我是超杀女 I'm Hit Girl.
那是大老爸 Big Daddy.
快来 Come on.
过来呀! Come on!
超杀女和大老爸 Hit girl and Big Daddy.
他们才是真英雄 They were the real deal.
而我呢? Me?
就一个穿潜水服的傻帽 I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit.
这是什么 这到底是什么? What is this? what am I looking at here?
是萨尔的手机 在他手里发现的 It was Sal's phone. They found it in his hand.
应该是他在死前拍下 He must have taken that right before he died.
我知道这很扯淡 阿弗 但是那照片里的家伙 I know this sounds fucked-up, Frankie, but that guy in the picture...
应该就是电视上的那个超级英雄 ...I think it's that superhero nut job from the tv.
谁? Who?
海扁王? Kick-Ass?
就他一个人? One guy?
等等 你是说 他一人一晚上杀了我的八个人? Hold on, you're telling me one guy killed 8 of my men tonight?
萨尔那儿的八个 拉苏尔那边是四个 8 at Sal's place. 4 at that kid Rasul's.
那我们街上的生意都砸了吗? We have no merchandise on the street at all?
对 Right.
-真的就他一个吗? -我觉得是 - One guy? - I think.
如果这是真的 那我们岂不成了纽约最大的冤大头 If you're right, we'll look like the biggest pussies in new york.
您有何吩咐? What do you want me to do?
我要你马上给我送上那傻逼海扁王的人头 I want kick-ass's fucking head on a stick, and I want it now.
我发誓 我没对任何人说过 I didn't say anything to anyone, I swear.
不错嘛 挨扁王 继续保持 Good move, Ass... kick. Let's keep it that way.
认识这玩意吧? You know what this is?
这是你的娘们电击枪 It's all the cartridge crap that comes
留下来的弹夹 Out of your gay little taser when you fire it.
你该知道警察发现后 You do know the police could have traced
会立刻展开追查吧? This right back to you if they'd found it?
算你走运 我捡起来了 But lucky for you... I picked it up.
谢谢 Thank you.
保险起见还是我们拿着吧 也好让我们信任你 Let's call it insurance. makes it easier for us to take your word.
听着 我们喜欢你 但是不信任你 See, we like you, but we don't trust you.
对事不对人 我们谁都不信 Don't take it personal. we don't trust anybody.
我变更了你的IP地址 I re-routed your IP address.
不然他们能轻易找到你 Finding you was way too easy.
该死 我怎么没想到 天啊 Oh, shit. shit, I hadn't thought. my god.
我欠你们的 I, I owe you.
我正打算关闭我的网站 I'm thinking of shutting my site down anyway.
我是说我不干了 这太疯狂了 Quitting. I mean, this is... it's fucking insane.
真是超出我的想像 I'm in way over my head.
真可惜 你很有潜质 It's a shame. you have potential.
由你决定 如有需要 我们一直在你身边 Your call. but you know we're around if you need us.
我怎么联系你们? How do I get a hold of you?
你只需联系市长办公室 You just contact the mayor's office.
他会向天空投射信号 He has a special signal he shines in the sky.
是个巨大老二的形状 In the shape of a giant cock.
需要我们的话 就在网站上写"度假中" 我们会找到你 You need us, put on your website you're on vacation. we'll find you.
超杀女 返回总部 Hit girl, back to headquarters.
好梦 Sweet dreams.
我要你做掉海扁王 I need you to get rid of Kick-Ass.
-怎么了? -什么怎么了? - Yo. whoa, whoa, whoa. what's up? - What's up?
海扁王在毁掉我的生意 希甘特 Kick-Ass is killing my men, gigante, that's what's up.
我很遗憾 弗兰克 My condolences, Frank.
但这次恐怕我帮不了你 But I'm afraid I can't help you on this one.
-这有点超出我的职权范围了 -你说什么? - little bit outside my jurisdiction. - Outside your jurisdiction?
你他妈的不是警察吗 他这是在干违法勾当 You're a fucking cop and he's breaking the law.
这事不该你管他妈的该谁管 That's so inside it's ball-deep in your jurisdiction's ass.
听我说 Listen to me.
我拿工资抓坏人 你则贿赂我不要抓坏人 The cops pay me to nail the bad guys. you pay me not to.
-其它都是灰色地带的事 -滚你妈的 照做就是 - Everything else is in the grey area. - fuck you very much. just do it.
明白吗 Okay.
真他妈难以置信 Un-fucking-believable.
柯迪人呢? 他迟到了 Where's Cody? he's late.
谢谢 柯迪 感谢你的合作 Thank you, Cody. We appreciate your co-operation.
能放我走了吗? Let me out now?
我把名字和地址都给你们了 I gave you all them names and addresses.
我不会和任何人说的 Hey, I won't say nothing to nobody.
你和你的矮个朋友去随心所欲打击邪恶吧 You and your crazy midget friend can go bash whoever you want.
拜托 Hey, come on.
我认识一些城里的坏蛋 坏到极点了 Hey, I know some very bad people up town. really nasty individuals.
放我走吧 求你了 Let me go. hey, come on.
别这样 你们别这样 求你了 Hey, hey, don't do this. you don't need to do this. come on.
求你们了 Please. hey.
拜托 不要 Come on, no, no...
不要! 求求你们! No, no, no! come on, please!
你们疯了! Hey, you're crazy. please!
真是个废渣 What a douche.
你之前也涂过护肤霜吧? You have done self tan before, right?
没错 家常便饭 Yeah, like, I do it all the time.
谋杀 超级英雄夜闯卧室 Murder, superheroes breaking into my bedroom.
我的生活完全成了个扯淡而醒不来的梦 My life had turned into some fucked-up dream I couldn't wake up from.
就连这美好的一刻也是那么梦幻 Even the good parts were totally surreal.
我看了你给我的《蜘蛛侠》故事 Oh, hey, I read those old Ditko Spidermans you gave me.
真的非常不错 They're actually pretty good.
当然啦 Yeah, they are.
而且拉苏尔有一星期没找我了 And it's been a whole week since I've heard from Rasul.
那真是太好了 That's great.
很久以前 有两个超级警察 老爸和马库斯 Once upon a time there were 2 supercops called Daddy and Marcus...
他们非常擅于惩奸除恶 ...who were very good at getting bad guys.
弗兰克·达米科是个罪大恶极的恶棍 Frank D'Amico was the baddest guy of them all...
他想出了一个陷害老爸的招数 ...and he came up with a plan to get rid of daddy.
对老爸来说 被陷害为一个毒贩 Being framed as a drug dealer was the
是最糟糕不过的事情 Worst thing that could have happened to daddy.
监狱不该是他的栖息之地 Prison was not his natural habitat.
他非常沮丧 He was very upset.
老爸入狱后 他那怀有身孕的妻子孤身一人 With daddy in prison, his pregnant wife was all alone...
无法接受这一事实 ...and could not cope.
但就在她死后 柳暗花明又一村 But all clouds have a silver lining and out of her death...
敏蒂降生了 ...Mindy was born.
马库斯成了孩子的监护人 Marcus became the child's guardian...
而老爸则着手于他的计划 ...and daddy started a plan of his very own.
5年后 他出狱了 已经蓄势待发 5 years later he left prison, and he was ready.
现在 该敏蒂整装就绪了 Now it was time for Mindy to get ready, too.
你是怎么找到我的 马库斯? How did you find me, Marcus?
忘了吗 我还是警察? One of us is still a cop, remember?
你就是这样对敏蒂洗脑的吗? Is this how you brainwashed Mindy?
你觉得是洗脑 我觉得是场游戏 You say brainwashed, I say made it into a game.
你觉得这很好玩吗 达蒙? You call this playing, Damon?
私自执法 肆意屠杀 得了 拍档 Vigilante justice. mass murder. come on, partner.
她在哪儿? So where is she?
-她很安全 -我能见见她吗? - She's safe. - Can I see her?
我很想她 I miss her.
我很想你们 I miss you both.
谢谢你的关心 但你该走了 I appreciate your concern, but you need to go now.
我得提醒你 希甘特那混蛋在找海扁王 I should warn you, that asshole Gigante is looking for kick-ass.
你们和他有牵连吗 达蒙? He got something to do with you, Damon?
你是不是组成了什么超级英雄团队? You started some kind of fucked-up superhero club?
-从没听过他 -好吧 小心点 好吗? - Never heard of him. - Okay. heads up, all right?
你要是这么继续下去 You keep carrying on like you been carrying on,
希甘特盯上你也只是时间问题而已 It's only a matter of time before Gigante is looking for you.
自从你拒绝了之后 他就一直为达米科做事 He's been on D'Amico's payroll ever since you passed up the opportunity.
你知道我不会罢手的 You know I'm not gonna stop.
直到达米科和他的组织粉碎殆尽 Not until D'Amico and his whole damn operation...
入土成灰 ...are burnt to ashes and buried.
你就不该把她卷进来 达蒙 It ain't gonna bring her back, damon.
这不该是敏蒂的生活 This is not the life for Mindy.
你欠她一个童年 You owe that kid a childhood.
我告诉你是谁欠了她的童年 I'll tell you who owes her a childhood.
弗兰克·达米科! Frank D'Amico!
我靠 Holy shit.
真他妈难以置信 I don't fucking believe it.
跟着他 转弯 Follow him, round the corner.
别太快 Not too fast.
他居然还和路人击掌? What's with the high-fives?
等我给你来上一拳 I'll give you a motherfucking high-five.
狠狠地一拳 要你好看 跟上去 High-fiving bullshit. keep going, keep going.
别太近 Not too close.
他进了小巷 He's going in the alley.
进到小巷里去了 He's going in the alley.
我叫你停车就停车 好吗? Okay, when I tell you, stop the car. ready?
喂 海扁王 Hey, kick-ass.
你好吗? How you doing?
你敢杀我的人? 还偷我的货! Kill my men, huh? take my fucking coke!
老大 你在干什么? Whoa, whoa, whoa, boss. what are you doing?
老大 我们得走了 Boss, come on, we gotta go, baby.
-傻逼废物! -快走吧 - Fucking scumbag! - Come on, let's go.
老大 别打了 你打够了 Boss, come on, he's had enough.
走吧 弗兰克 他够惨了 Come on, Frank, he's had enough. come on.
你他妈看什么看? What the fuck are you looking at? huh?
好了 我们走吧 Come on, come on. come on, let's go. we gotta go.
日你妈的 Fuck. shit. damn.
上车吧 Come on, come on, get in.
他还那么年轻 怎么就这么死了 He was so young. no-one should have to die that way.
真不敢相信他已经死了 I just can't believe he's dead, that's all.
我知道 但是 凯蒂... Oh, I know. but, Katie...
像拉苏尔这样的人 背景十分复杂 ...guys like Rasul get mixed up in stuff and...
我知道 但万一这是我的错呢? No, I know, I know, but what if it was my fault?
如果这是海扁王做的呢? 我觉得我该报警 What if kick-ass did it? I feel like I should call the cops or something.
你说什么傻话 这不可能 You're talking crazy. there's no way.
估计他都没看过你的邮件 He probably didn't even read your email yet.
也是 Yeah.
你没必要担心 You got nothing to worry about.
我真庆幸你在这儿 我真是一团糟 I'm so glad you're here. I'm in such a mess.
没关系 这没什么 That's okay. it's not a problem.
你最好了 You're the best.
希望你别介意 但是你要不是同性恋就好了 I hope it's okay to say this, but... it so sucks that you're gay.
这简直是鬼扯 I don't fucking believe this.
哪门子小鬼会拿这种当消遣? What kind of children's enter-fuckingtainer is that?
究竟是哪门子... What kind of kid has a...
开个蜘蛛侠派对也就算了 但搞个海扁王派对? ...a spiderman party, sure, but a fucking kick-ass party?
他们在商店里卖纸巾和纸碟吗? They selling paper plates and napkins at the store now?
弗兰克 你吓到我了 你已经疯了 Frank, you're scaring me. you're losing it.
你居然在大庭广众下公开杀人? Since when did you start getting your hands dirty again? and in public.
就因为你没给我送来海扁王的首级 Since when I asked you fucks to deliver me kick-ass and you don't deliver,
就这原因 That's when.
给我点时间 才过了一周 Give me a break, it's been a week.
我们有一半人出去犯事 就为了引他出来 We got half the crew out doing petty crimes as bait.
忙得焦头烂额 We're busting our asses here.
你到底在干嘛? What the hell are you doing?
你啥时又开始吸粉了? You're back on the powder now as well?
妈咪 我想开个海扁王派对 大惊小怪的傻子 Mommy, I want a kick-ass party. dumb little fucks.
我知道抓到他的方法 I know a way you can get him.
见鬼! Shit!
克里斯 你在外面多久了? Chris, how long you been there?
你到底搞什么鬼? 快滚 What the hell are you doing? Get the hell out.
-你到底想不想听? -什么? - Do you wanna hear it or not? - Hear what?
听着 如果你是个超级英雄 Okay, look. you're a superhero and...
你信不过任何人 因为他们会暴露你的秘密身份 ...you can't trust anyone because they'll expose your secret identity...
现在的孩子只会看漫画书 Comic books this kid reads, all fucking day long.
问题是 只有一个办法能让超级英雄信任陌生人 The point is, there's only one way a superhero can trust a stranger, and..
我可以做那个人 给我个机会 ...I can be that stranger. you've just gotta give me a chance.
我能做到 就是需要些东西 I know I can do it. I just need a few things.
什么东西? Like what?
就这些东西 I need these things.
啥 你他妈开什么玩笑? 这算什么鬼? What, are you fucking kidding me? what the hell is this?
这是我需要的一切 It's, it's everything I need.
但你得牺牲一个人 比如说路易 And you might have to screw someone over like Louie, or something.
为什么是路易? 克里斯 Louie? oh, hey, Chris. uhhuh.
其他人也行 不一定要路易 Or, or somebody. it doesn't have to be Louie.
-托尼 -托尼 - Tony. - Tony.
托尼吗? Tony?
-我讨厌托尼 -对 托尼他就是个混球 - I hate tony. - Yeah, fuck Tony. he's a scumbag.
我保证 老爸 要是你同意 一定会有用 I swear, dad, if you let me do this, it's gonna work.
那就托尼吧 Tony.
托尼·阿密特 全美头号通缉犯之一 Tony Romita, one of america's most wanted crime kingpins,
今日在皇后区被捕 was arrested in Queens today...
警方称报案人是个超级英雄 ...after a 911 call from someone claiming to be a superhero...
你和凯蒂的事怎么样了? So, how are things going with Katie?
还算顺利 Oh, just peachy.
我们通宵未睡 We had a sleepover and spent the whole night...
看完了《丑女贝蒂》 还做了足疗 ...watching the entire 'ugly betty' box set and did pedicures.
我告诉你 这事拖得越久越糟 I'm telling you, the, the longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get.
我知道 我会告诉她的 只是她一直这么开心 I know. I was gonna tell her. she seemed so happy.
-找不到合适的时机 -你的机会来了 - I don't know when's the right time. - Well, now's your chance.
-她没看到吧? -好啊 伙计们 - She didn't see that, did she? - Hey, guys.
-好啊 -你好 - Hi. - Hi, sweet.
你们看电视新闻了吗 那个新超级英雄? Did you watch the tv? the new superhero guy?
多酷啊? How cool is that?
什么新闻? What?
-看啊 -能把声音调大点吗? - Hey, look. - Could you turn it up, please?
看吧 Check this out.
不再袖手旁观 这位自称红旋风的人士 Far from being put off, this individual, who calls himself red mist...
决定将打击犯罪提升到新的高度 ...has decided to take crime fighting to a new level...
他昨晚的行动证明了这一点 ...as his actions last night proved.
-红旋风 你怎么看? -我觉得大家都受够了担惊受怕 - Red mist, how do you see it? - Folks have had enough of living in fear..
而海扁王证明了个人也可以成大事 ...and Kick-Ass proved that one individual can make a difference.
如果有人需要帮助 我会全天候打击犯罪 So if anyone out there needs help, I'll be fighting crime 25/8.
只要点击红旋风网站就可以 And I'm just one click away. red mist. org.
能关了吗? Can we turn that off now?
那家伙有什么神的? What's so special about that guy?
他抓住了一个毒贩 是一级通缉犯 He caught a drug dealer. some most wanted guy.
-你看他把一大堆缴获的东西拿出来 -真酷 - You saw him bring out a ton of stuff. - That's pretty cool.
对啊 比海扁王的装扮更酷 Yeah, he's got a way better costume than kick-ass, too.
-他还穿了斗篷 -是啊 - He's got a cape. - Yeah.
斗篷最赞了 Capes rock.
我觉得斗篷不错 看着不赖 I'm kinda feeling the cape. looks good.
什么 你觉得那家伙比海扁王更好吗? What, better than kick-ass?
他俩都挺帅的 但我觉得红旋风的身材更好 They're both kinda hot. I just think red mist has a better body.
你觉得呢 戴夫? Don't you think, Dave?
是啊 戴夫 Yeah, Dave, what do you think? Is that the...
你不就喜欢这种人吗 一身皮衣? ...is he the kinda guy you'd go for, with the, all that leather?
不 小马 我不喜欢这一型 No, Marty, he's not really my type.
海扁王 Kick-Ass.
红旋风 Red mist.
该死 真疼 Oh, shit. fuck me, that kinda hurt.
-你没事吧? -我没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah. no, I'm cool.
我不敢相信能见到本尊 老兄 你是我的大英雄 I can't believe you're here, man. like, you're my hero.
你激励了我 说真的 没有海扁王就没有红旋风 You inspired me. no kick-ass, no red mist. seriously.
是吗? Wow. hey, really?
一点不假 听着 如果你... Straight up. and listen, if you...
要我做你助手啥的... ...wanted me to be your sidekick or something...
你想做我助手吗? You wanna be my sidekick?
当然 你我联手 所向披靡 Yeah, man. you and me together, we would own.
你想去打击犯罪吗? You wanna go fight some crime?
你说现在吗? Oh, what you mean like right now?
是啊 来吧 我有东西给你看 Yeah, man. come on, I got something I wanna show you.
实话告诉你 Er, I mean, like to be honest with you,
我只在每周日晚九点到两点打击犯罪 I only ever fight crime between like 9 and 2 weekdays.
所以我们就快点完事 So I'm gonna need to get back pretty soon.
赞 Sweet.
-这是你的吗? -见识下"云雾战车"吧 - Is that yours? - Meet the mist mobile.
我的iPhone能自动导航 所以能边开车 Satnav got my iPhone so I can check the websites for emergencies
边查看网站上的紧急情况 When we're driving around.
还能来点灯光应应景 Got a little bit of mood lighting right there.
有后视镜 没什么大不了 Rear-view camera. no big deal.
看看这个 包你爱不释手 Check this. You're gonna fucking love this.
雾来咯 The mist.
没错 我们是超级英雄 爱戴我们吧 That's right, we're superheroes, love us.
-抽烟吗? -不抽 - Smoke? - No.
巡逻的时候 来点烟草能壮壮胆 I feel a little weed takes the edge off things when I'm on patrol,
知道吗 You know.
面对一大堆人群 还真有点害怕 你觉得呢? Going up against a crowd can get kinda scary, don't you think?
怎么了? Something wrong?
你和我想象的完全不同 You're so not how I expected.
我从一个女孩那儿收到一封邮件 I got this e-mail from this chick.
说有人总在上下班时尾随她 She said this guy's been following her home from work.
我有地址 想探探情况吗? I got her address and stuff. you wanna check it out?
-好啊 为何不呢? -酷 - Sure. why not? - Cool.
我们一丝不挂地坐在那里? So, we're sitting there totally naked, right?
我告诉她 坐在我膝盖上 So I told her, "sit on my lap,
我们再谈谈是啥玩意先出来 We'll talk about the first thing that comes up".
-怎么? -刚收到短信 他在路上了 - Yeah? - Just got the text. he's on his way.
很好 He did very good.
-在我到之前留他活口 -好 - Don't kill him till I get there. - Right.
看来钻研漫画终于有收获了吧? Looks like reading all them comics paid off, huh?
你儿子干得不错 阿弗 Your boy did good, Frankie.
虎父焉有犬子 He's his father's son.
你你你你你以为 Come on now who do you
你你你你你以为 Who do you who do you
你以为自己是谁? Who do you think you are?
祈求上帝保佑你 Bless your soul
差点忘了 Oh... I forgot.
你一准是疯了 I think you're crazy
就如同我一样 Just like me
我的英雄啊 陷入孤立无援也在所不惜 My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
搞什么鬼?! What the fuck?!
我操 Oh, shit.
-你要干什么? -里面还有人! - Hey, what are you doing? - There are people in there!
好吧 我们应该打电话报... Yeah. sh-shouldn't we call the fire...
见鬼! Shit!
小迈! Mikey!
我靠 Fuck.
-真他妈见鬼 -红旋风! - Shit. fuck. - Red Mist!
红旋风! Red Mist!
听得到吗? Hey, man, can you hear me?
老天 Oh, jeez.
红旋风! Red Mist!
红旋风! 你到底在哪里?! Red mist! Where the fuck are you?!
我们得快逃出去 赶紧走! We gotta get the hell outta here. dude, move your fucking ass!
该死 Holy shit.
-你看到尸体了吗? -看到了 - Did you see those bodies? - Yeah, man.
-你干嘛救个泰迪熊? -啥? - Why did you save the teddy? - What?
我也不知道 老兄 快走吧 I don't know, man. come on.
进来 Come.
弗兰克 你他妈搞什么? What the hell are you doing, Frank?
我不能来这儿 万一被人看到怎么办? You know I can't be here. What if somebody saw me?
那个混账海扁王烧了我的仓库 还干掉了我的人 That motherfucker kick-Ass burnt down my warehouse and killed my men,
希甘特 Gigante.
等下 说慢点 你确定是海扁王吗? Wait, wait, wait. slow down. Kick-Ass? are you sure?
你得帮我 我儿子也在里面 还下落不明 You gotta help me, vic. My son was there and he's still missing.
他们都死了! They're all dead!
仓库里的所有人都死了 Everybody in the warehouse is dead.
-放下枪 维克 那是克里斯 -克里斯是红旋风吗? - Put the gun down, Vic, it's Chris. - Chris is red mist?
红旋风不用你操心 你该操心海扁王 It's not red mist you gotta worry about. it's Kick-Ass.
不不不 海扁王就是个宅男 老爸 No, no, no, it's not. Kick-Ass is just some geek, dad.
你不用在意他 你得看看这个 You don't have to worry about him. you need to watch this.
-这是什么玩意? -你搞笑吧? - Why, what does it do? - Are you fucking kidding me?
啥? What?
真他妈见鬼 坐下就是 God-damn it, just sit down.
你做什么 那到底是什么东西? What are you doing? What the hell is that thing?
你在我小时候买的 用来监视保姆 You bought this to spy on the nanny when I was a kid.
忘了吗? Don't you remember?
-你放在仓库了吗? -对 - And you put it in the warehouse? - Yeah.
我觉得把海扁王的真面目放到网上肯定很酷 I thought it'd be cool to put the unmasking of kick-ass on the internet.
仔细看 Watch.
我告诉她 坐在我膝盖上 I told her, "sit on my lap,
我们再谈谈是啥玩意先出来 We'll talk about the first thing that comes up".
-怎么? -刚收到短信 他在路上了 - Yeah? - Just got the text. he's on his way.
很好 在我到之前留他活口 He did very good. don't kill him till I get there.
好 Right.
这家伙到底是谁? Who the hell is this guy?
我不知道 老爸 I don't know, dad.
但听海扁王说 城里不止他一个超级英雄 But Kick-Ass told me we're not the only superheroes in town.
也许他知道他是谁 Maybe he knows who this guy is.
封锁这个地方 I want this place locked down.
在找到这天杀的混球 Nobody comes in, nobody goes out.
把他给我千刀万剐之前 Not until somebody finds this cocksucker...
任何人不得随意进出! ...and pulls his fucking lungs out through his ass!
听着 他们冲着你来了 听到吗? Listen, they're on to you. do you hear me?
他们盯上你了 They're on to you.
他们不是在找海扁王吗 I thought they were looking for Kick-Ass.
不再找了 希甘特刚放了一段视频给我们看 Not any more. gigante put on a movie show for us.
另一个超级英雄 Different superhero.
在仓库里血洗达米科的人 In a warehouse, killing a whole bunch of D'Amico's guys.
我猜那人就是你 I'm gonna guess that was you.
-我毁掉了所有摄像头 -显然有漏网之鱼 听着 兄弟 - I killed all the cameras. - Apparently not. look, bro...
你得跑路了 赶紧藏起来 ...you need to get ghost, hide yourself quick.
谢谢提醒 Appreciate that.
敏蒂 别写作业了 宝贝儿 Mindy... no more homework, baby doll.
该跟弗兰克·达米科说再见了 It's time for Frank D'Amico to go byebye.
X战警 神奇四侠 X-Men, the Fantastic Four.
现在 我真是嫉妒死他们了 Right now, I envied the crap out of them.
现在一切都失控了 我完全不知所措 Everything was out of control. I didn't know what the hell to do.
你还好吧? 孩子 看着很疲惫 You okay, buddy? you look tired.
今天早点睡吧? Early night tonight, maybe?
也无人能够倾诉 And there was no-one I could talk to about it.
戴夫 听见吗? Dave? hello?
好吧 我会的 Yeah, you bet I will.
我从未感到如此孤独 I never felt more alone.
我一直梦想成为超级英雄 I'd always dreamed of being a superhero...
但结果却是一场噩梦 ...but this was a nightmare.
是时候结束这愚蠢的游戏了 It was time to stop wearing this stupid costume.
但我还有最后一件事要做 But there was one last thing I needed it for.
彼得·帕克[蜘蛛侠的真实身份]和蜘蛛侠有什么区别? What's the difference between Spiderman and Peter Parker?
蜘蛛侠抱得美人归 Spiderman gets the girl.
我是海扁王 Hey, I'm Kick-Ass.
我是海扁王 你给我写邮件了吗? I'm Kick-Ass. you mail me?
拜托 Please.
见鬼! Oh, fuck! oh, fuck!
戴面具的变态! Fucking freak in a mask!
-滚出去! -凯蒂 我不会伤害你 - Get out of my house! - Katie, I'm not gonna hurt you.
好吗? All right?
别别别 是我? Oh, no, no, no, it's me, it's me. all right?
-我只是想给你个惊喜 -戴夫? - I, I was only trying to surprise you, I'm sorry. - Dave?
你搞什么鬼? 你干嘛穿成海扁王的样子? What the fuck are you doing? why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?
-因为我就是海扁王 -你说什么? - Because I am Kick-Ass. - what are you talking about?
而且我也不是同性恋 And I'm also not gay.
我靠! Fuck!
我是个傻瓜 烂朋友 我骗了你 And I'm an idiot, and a shit friend. I lied to you, I know, and if...
我的上帝 Oh my god.
我知道 要是这样能让你好受点 I know. If it makes you feel any better,
我觉得现在我比你更恨我自己 I, I don't think you can hate me any more right now than I hate myself.
求你了 Please...
听着 我真的很抱歉 ...look, I'm really, really sorry.
我从没遇到过像你这样又漂亮又善良 I've never met anyone who's as beautiful and as kind and...
又可爱的女孩儿 ...lovely as you.
你该有个更好的归宿 You deserve better.
戴夫 Dave.
怎么? Yes?
我妈在楼下设了防盗警报 My mom has the burglar alarm on downstairs,
你还是从窗户出去吧 So you should probably use the window.
或者 Or...
或者你可以留下来 ...or you could just stay.
留下来 再通宵一晚上吗? Stay? What like when we have a sleepover?
不好意思 我不是故意要吓你 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
好吧 Well...
我们要过这一关 We gotta get over it...
得到顶上 然后再从中间进去 ...on top of it and then into it. right in the middle of it.
老爸 我想我找到了 Daddy, I think I've found one.
超完美 三天内送达 It's perfect and they can deliver it in 3 days.
但要三千块 Ah, it's 300,000 bucks.
没有比那更好的了吗? Well, can you think of anything else you'd rather spend it on?
天啊 酷毙了 Oh my gosh. that is cool.
可不是 Yeah.
放入购物车 Add to shopping cart.
没问题 Okay.
海扁王和红旋风对打 谁会赢? Out of Kick-Ass and Red Mist, who would win in a fight?
为啥他们要打? 听着好傻 Why are they fighting? that seems stupid.
-你觉得呢? -我不知道 - What do you think? - I don't know,
我觉得海扁王更可爱些 But Kick-Ass is cuter.
是吗? Really?
当然 Mmm-hmm.
只要有机会 我一定干到他大脑窒息 I for one would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance.
-是吗? -当然 - You would? - Definitely.
你想看凯特·哈德森[美国影星]的新电影吗 Do you feel like checking out that new Kate Hudson movie...
她演一个剩女鞋子设计师? ...where she's a shoe designer who can't get a guy?
-现在走的话还能赶上下一场 -别废话了 走 - we could make the next showing... - Hell, yeah.
估计没咱啥事了 Guess we're not invited.
知道吗?来这边 You know what? Come here.
我要把你培养成一个漫迷 I'm gonna convert you to a comics reader right now.
我突然明白为什么超级英雄只存在漫画中 Suddenly I understood why superheroes only existed in comic books.
我明白了为何人们不会为了陌生人而冒险 I got why people didn't risk their lives for strangers.
因为我的生命中头一次有了意义 Because, for the first time in my life, I had something worth living for.
有了害怕失去的东西 Something to lose.
凯蒂担心我会受伤 Katie worried about me getting hurt,
所以我向她保证 我的海扁王岁月终结了 So I promised her my Kick-Ass days were over.
事实上 我并不怀念那段岁月 And the truth was I hardly missed it at all.
我一整周都没有看过网站了 I hadn't even checked the website for, like, a week.
戴夫 我下班了 Okay, I'm off, then.
凯蒂今晚不来吗? No Katie tonight?
明天来 周三她要做义工 Tomorrow. Wednesday, she's got one of those volunteer things.
你看起来焕然一新 知道吗? You seem like a different guy, you know that?
你妈看到你现在的样子会很欣慰的 Your mom would have been so happy to see you out of your shell like this.
晚安 Have a good night.
宝贝儿 Hey, baby.
怎么了? Hey, what's going on?
我得执行一个海扁王任务 I gotta do a Kick-Ass thing.
什么? 你不是洗手不干了吗? What? I thought you were done with that.
最后一次 我保证 This is the last time. I totally swear.
我很担心你 I worry about you.
你不用担心 Well, I wish you wouldn't worry.
我控制不住 因为... I can't help it, I do because I...
我非常在乎你 ...I care about you a lot.
我也非常在乎你 I care about you a lot, too.
最好是要紧事 老兄 This better be pretty serious, dude.
我跟我女友保证我不再干了 Cos I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this shit.
我们都死定了 够要紧了吗? How about both of us being dead? is that serious enough for you?
什么? 怎么会死? Dead? how?
看来那群仓库里的死人 Well, it turns out those dead guys from the warehouse
有一帮混账坏蛋朋友 他们认定是我们干的 Had some bad motherfuckers for friends, and they think we did that shit.
他们在悬赏我们的人头 There's a price on our heads, man.
啥 这都什么年代了 还搞西部这一套? A price on our heads? what is this, the wild west?
我没跟你扯淡 他们追到我家 I'm not messing with you, dude. they found out where I lived.
毁了我的住处 我他妈完蛋了 They trashed my place. I'm fucking screwed,
-下一个就轮到你了 明白吗! -好吧 - and you're next, okay! - All right. what?
真该死 Shit.
我们怎么办? What do we do?
记得你说过还有别的超级英雄吗? Remember you mentioned that there are other superheroes?
是啊 Yeah.
你觉得他们能帮我们吗? Well, do you think they can help us?
热巧克力 附送棉花糖 Hot chocolate... extra marshmallows.
天 实物看着比图片里更酷 Man, that looks even cooler than it did in the picture.
宝贝儿 那是因为图片上没有加特林机枪 Child, you know that's because in the picture it didn't have Gatling Guns.
漂亮 我去床上喝 好吗? Nice job. I'm gonna take mine to bed, okay?
好吧 宝贝儿 好梦 Okay, baby doll. sleep tight.
谢谢 Thanks.
-是海扁王吗? -对呢 - Oh, kick-ass? - Mmm-hmm.
你去换装 我通知他在B号安全屋碰头 You go get dressed. I'll tell him to meet us at safe house 'b'.
我们回来再喝热巧克力 We'll have our hot chocolate when we get back.
-好 老爸 -快去吧 - Okay, daddy. - Come on.
来了 There you go.
-你知道在哪儿吗? -不知道 用导航系统就行 - Do you know where that is? - No, but I'll put it in the gps.
好了 出发 Right, let's go.
真该死 Shit.
到了 Okay, okay, okay.
你来了 还有红旋风 两位 Well. here you are and... Red Mist. two.
-见到你们我很荣幸 -我也是 先生 - Pleasure to meet you. - Good to meet you, sir.
进来吧 Please, come in.
你先请 After you.
超杀女 打个招呼 亲爱的 Hit girl. manners, honey.
嗨 我是超杀女 Hi, I'm hit girl.
不! No!
你他妈归我了! Your ass is mine!
他和我一起的 别抓他 He's with me, he's okay.
算了吧 小子 你老爸说了算 你回家去 Shut the fuck up kid. your daddy's the boss. you go home.
你他妈说什么? Are you shitting me?
别抓他 他和我一起的! 放了他! He's fine. He's with me! Let him go!
快他妈离开这鬼地方! Get outta here! Get the fuck out of here.
我靠 我梦寐以求的玩意啊 Hot damn. I always wanted one of these.
-你真要拿走这个吗? -当然了 亲爱的 - Are you seriously gonna take that? - Yes. come on, sweet cheeks.
你要是不快点给我上车 大英雄 If you don't get your wannabe superhero ass in the car...
你可就有麻烦了 ...you're gonna have a lot of trouble on your hands.
搞笑 我要叫老爸炒了你 That's really funny. you're so fired.
海扁王 Kick-Ass...
把他带走 把他弄进货车 Get him outta here, get him outta here. get him in the van.
海扁王 我很抱歉 Kick-Ass, I'm sorry, I...
快进去 Get in the car. get in there.
你得炒了这混蛋 You better fire this asshole.
无视他 Ignore him...
这不是火箭筒吗? A bazooka?
好吧 Okay.
我们不是说好了吗 老爸 我把你要的人给你弄来 We had a fucking deal, dad, that I'll get you the guy who did it...
你就放过海扁王 他什么都没做 ...and all I'm asking is you let kick-ass go. he didn't do anything wrong.
克里斯 你得替我考虑考虑? Chris, you gotta look at this from my point of view. okay?
我得告诉外面的人 I gotta send a public service message to the people out there...
他妈的当超级英雄不好玩儿 ...that being a superhero is bad for your health.
而那个大个子混账 And the big motherfucker...
没人知道他是谁 ...nobody knows who he is.
-这不公平 -人生本来就不公平 习惯就好 - That's not fair. - Life's not fair, get over it.
你想把他们怎么样? What are you gonna do to them?
你真想参与进来吗? You really wanna be a part of my business?
是的 Yeah.
那就闭上嘴 坐下看 Then sit down, shut up and watch.
弗兰克 我准备好了 好好欣赏吧 Frank, we're ready. enjoy the show.
-你这都能控制吗? -当然 - Are you controlling this thing? - I sure am.
老大哥的把戏 学着点[出自《1984》] Big brother, watch and learn.
欢迎回到[大事件] Welcome back. breaking news,
我们即将为您播出一段视屏 A worldwide web broadcast of the new york superhero
自称为海扁王的纽约英雄的现场直播 Who calls himself Kick-Ass is about to be shown live.
流言称这将是他的告别声明 Rumours have it this will be his farewell appearance...
他要公开表示 自己将不再打击罪恶 ...that he will announce his retirement from crime fighting...
据网络供应商预测 ...but as word of mouth spreads internet providers are predicting that...
这将是有史以来观看率最高的一段视频 ...it could be one of the most widely viewed live events in web history.
戴夫呢? Where's Dave?
没有任何迹象表明这段视频的真实内容 There are no clues as yet as to the exact nature of the broadcast...
见鬼 你们都没注意到吗 Holy shit, have you guys noticed...
这还用说 他和凯蒂在一起 He's with Katie, obviously.
不然我怎么会在这儿? Why else would I be here?
虽然不知道视频背后的真相 There's no idea who is behind the broadcast of this show...
但网络服务器已经爆棚 ...but we could see widespread server crashes...
戴夫 你为什么没告诉我? Dave, why didn't you tell me this is what you were doing?
你上新闻了 打给我 You're on the news. Call me.
让我们进入直播倒计时 We go live to the countdown clock as we are moments away.
好戏开演了 Showtime.
女士们先生们 大家好 Hello, boys and girls. now this...
这位大家都认识了 ...well, you know who this guy is.
而这位是大老爸 And this guy here is Big Daddy.
这些是我的朋友 伙计们 来打个招呼 And these are my friends. come on in, guys, say hello.
没错 这就对了 Yeah. yeah, there they are. hello, hello.
现在 大老爸和海扁王会帮助我们 Now, big daddy and kick-ass are gonna help us...
告诉大家 做超级英雄可不是什么好主意 ...show you why being a hero is a bad idea.
你知道什是K字不发音吗? You know what a silent 'K' is?
就是单词由字母K打头 That's when 'k' is at the beginning
但K却不发音 Of the word but you don't pronounce it...
比如这个词 指节铜套 让他们看看 伙计 ...like in the word 'knuckle-duster'. show them what it can do, guy.
那肯定很痛 再从那边打一拳 That must've hurt. let's see it from the other side.
我想大家都看到了 法语里的棍子 I think it did. now in France they say the word "stick" like this.
其实是指指挥棒 Baton.
我们就给海扁王来上一棍 来吧 We got some of kick-ass's batons. we're gonna show you what they can do.
来吧 伙计们 Go ahead, boys.
但在美国 我们提到棍子 都想到棒球棍 You know, in america we say "stick" like this. baseball bat.
这玩意打起肚子和膝盖来可是相当好用 Which is very good for hitting knees and stomachs.
打蛋蛋也一样好用哟 It's also good for hitting balls.
一个个来太麻烦了 We don't do them individually...
一起上吧 ...we do them all together.
来吧 先生们 Gentlemen, please.
看起来真痛苦 Oh, this looks very painful.
由于画面内容过于暴力 Due to the distressing nature of the images...
我们无法再继续直播这段网络视频 ...we are unable to broadcast the events streaming live on the internet.
我操 Fuck.
不不不 No, no...
虽然早期猜测这是恶作剧或是作秀 Despite initial speculation that this may be some kind of hoax...
但显然现在人质处于真正的危险之中 ...or publicity stunt, it is now clear the hostages are in genuine danger.
所有迹象表明 几分钟后 That all signs point to the intention to
将会上演一场现场处决 Stage a live execution in the next few minutes.
就算会丢尽面子 Even with my metal plates and my fucked-up nerve endings...
不得不说 真的痛死了 ...I gotta tell you... that hurt.
煤油 杀人于无声 Kerosene. yes, the silent killer.
但这些 远比不上要丢下那些人来的痛苦 But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind.
凯蒂 Katie.
我爸爸 My dad.
陶德和小马 Todd and Marty.
我还有很多事没做 And all the things I'd never do.
比如学开车 Like learn to drive.
和凯蒂结婚生子 Or see what me and Katie's kids would look like.
-看"迷失"的大结局 -真刺激 - or find out what happened on 'Lost'. - Spicy, spicy.
你要是以为我肯定活下来了 And if you think I'm gonna make it
不然怎么现在和你讲故事呢 Through this since I'm talking to you now...
别自作聪明了 ...quit being such a smartass.
见鬼 伙计 你没看过《罪恶都市》 Hell, dude, you never seen 'sin city'...
《日落大道》和《美国丽人》吗?[主角都翘了] ...'Sunset Boulevard', 'American Beauty'?
而这个 And this...
你们这帮乡巴佬给我看好了 ...for all you cavemen out there...
是火 ...is fire.
不 No.
火可是好东西 Fire. fire is good.
火是我们的朋友 Fire is our friend.
好吧 Oh, yeah.
先生们 Gentlemen...
是时候上路了 ...time to die.
搞什么? What the...?
-什么情况? -谁开个灯 - What the fuck just happened? - Hey, hey, somebody find the lights.
快找打火机! Get the lighter!
就在地上 快找打火机 It's on the floor right over there. find the lighter.
找到了 I got it.
不! No!
快找掩护 孩子! Take cover, child!
快拿出氪石! Now switch to kryptonite!
氪石 没错 Kryptonite. yeah.
罗宾的复仇里的招式! Go to Robin's Revenge!
罗宾 罗宾... Robin. Robin, Robin...
死期到了 混账东西 Show's over, motherfuckers.
我想我爱上他了 伙计 I think I'm in love with her, dude.
她看上去只有11岁左右 但是... She looks like she's about 11 years old, but...
我可以等 我可以为她守贞洁誓 I can wait. I solemnly vow to save myself for her.
这对你来说太难了 你没事吧? That should be really difficult for you. are you okay?
没事 Yeah.
干得漂亮 Good job.
我太为你骄傲了 宝贝儿 I'm so proud of you, baby doll.
你没事吧? Are you okay?
没事 Yeah.
被枪打中的感觉 比你那次要痛得多 爸爸 But getting shot, daddy, it hurt a lot more than when you did it.
因为我用了低速子弹 孩子 That's because I used low velocity rounds, child.
你是世界上最好的爸爸 You're the kindest daddy in the whole world.
不 我只是... No, I just...
我爱你 ... love you.
我也爱你 爸爸 I love you, too, daddy.
安睡吧 Sleep tight.
你叫什么名字? What's your name?
我是说 你的真名 I mean your real name.
超级英雄从不透露自己的真实身份 A superhero never reveals his true identity.
什么? 听着 你不能继续下去 What? look, you can't go on...
不管你之前是什么生活 However you lived before...
一切都结束了 ...it's over.
你还有其他亲人吗? Is there anybody else? Any family or...?
听着 我能照顾好自己 Look, I can take care of myself.
我还救了你的小命 I saved your sorry ass.
那钱呢? 你得从长远考虑 What about money? you gotta think long term.
包里还有3百万美元 I've got 3 million dollars in a suitcase.
够长远了吧? That long term enough for you?
这不是钱的问题 It's not all about the money.
我欠你的 I owe you.
要不是你 我早死了 If it wasn't for you I'd be dead.
要不是你 And if it wasn't for you...
我爸也不会死 ...my dad wouldn't be.
听着 Look...
你收拾好东西 接着去我家 ...pack up whatever you need and we'll go back to my place.
我要去洗下脸 I just need to clean my face.
去吧 Just go.
我是说收拾些睡衣 衣服什么的 I meant like pyjamas and clothes and stuff.
你不能带这些玩意去我家 You can't take that stuff to my house.
你知道我爸真正期望什么吗? You know what my dad really would have wanted?
他希望我完成我们的未尽之事 He would have wanted me to finish what we started.
我正打算这么干 And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
这是弗兰克·达米科的家吗? Is this Frank D'Amico's place?
这么多保安 All that security.
你疯了吗? Are you crazy?
我妈妈已经白白地死去 My mom already died for nothing.
我绝不想让我爸也死得不明不白 So I'm sure as hell not gonna let my dad die for nothing, too.
你不能一个人去 You can't do this on your own.
当然 Exactly.
你想还我老爸的人情吗? Do you wanna deal with owing my dad?
那就闭上嘴 拿起武器 Then shut the hell up and pick your weapon.
该不会刚好是我想的那样吧? Is that what I think it is?
对极了 你最好看下说明书 Damn straight. you better start reading the instructions because...
因为五分钟后你就要用上这玩意了 ...you're gonna be using it in about 5 minutes.
听好了 五分钟后 所有人各就各位 Listen up, we got 5 minutes and I want you back on your post.
可别搞砸了 And don't leave a mess.
-一切顺利吧? -一切顺利 老大 - Everything okay? - Everything's all right, boss.
难以置信 我居然拿回手枪了 看啊 I can't believe I got my gun back. look at that.
知道吗 这不是... You know, it's not the...
让她进来 Well, let her in.
她只是个孩子 你有毛病吗? It's a little kid. what's the matter with you?
你没事吧 宝贝儿? Are you okay, sweetheart?
我与妈妈爸爸走丢了 I... I lost my mommy and daddy.
她与她妈妈爸爸走丢了 She lost her mommy and daddy.
你要用我的手机吗? You wanna use my cell phone?
你记得号码吗? Now can you remember the number?
我当过真正的超级英雄吗? Had I ever been a real superhero?
我只是向世界展示了这种意图 The most I'd ever had to offer the world was good intentions...
并激发了一点责任感 ...and a slightly elevated capacity to take a kicking.
没有力量就没有责任感 With no power comes no responsibility.
事实证明 Except...
这其实错了 ...that wasn't true.
-真他妈的 -老大 快隐蔽 - Holy shit. - Boss, take cover, please.
我才不在意我的名声如何 I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
时代早变了 你已经过时 You're living in the past it's a new generation
女孩也能为所欲为 没错 这就是我 A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do
我才不在意我的名声败坏 An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
不是我 Not me
见鬼去! God damn!
见鬼! Shit!
搞什么? What the fuck?
过来! 帮帮我 伙计们! Get in here! help me out man!
奶奶地 都死光了! Holy fuck... everybody's dead!
她在柜台后面 她没子弹了 She's behind the counter. she's out of ammo, okay.
你觉得他们搞定他了吗? Do you think they caught him?
要是没搞定 还有他呢 If they didn't, he will.
-出去收拾他 -现在吗? - Get out there. - Now?
对 Yeah, now.
他妈的怎么回事? What the fuck is going on?
她被困住了 没有武器 We got her trapped. she's unarmed.
那你们他妈的还等什么? So what the hell are you guys waiting for?
-去干掉她 -去啊 伙计 快去! - Go get her. - Go on, man. go get her!
我他妈的又没有枪 我才不去 I ain't got no fucking gun. I'm not going in.
枪给你 You do now.
快去! Now move!
快去 Go on.
我操他妈的 我去拿火箭筒 Fuck this shit. I'm getting the bazooka.
火箭筒? Bazooka?
是我 老大 我们掌控了局面 It's only me, boss. everything's under control.
掌控个屁 不然你拿火箭筒干嘛? Un... under control? you're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumb ass.
先生? Sir?
去吧 Do it.
我想说这台词很久了 I always wanted to say this...
向我们的小萝莉问好! ...say hello to my little friend!
荣耀无限 哈利路亚 Glory, glory, hallelujah
-至高真理 -你们这帮人渣! - His truth is... - Dirty motherfuckers!
光明前行 ...marching on
至高真理 光明前行 His truth is marching on
真他妈的! Holy shit!
那声音听着不太像火箭筒嘛 That is one weird sounding bazooka.
司徒! Stu!
我操! Fuck!
搞定他们! Get them!
游戏结束了 小鬼 Playtime's over, kid.
我可不是闹着玩 I never play.
是吗? Oh, really?
胆敢搅了我的生意? Ruin my business, huh?
还杀了所有我手下的人 Kill every single fucking guy on my payroll.
老天 你要是我儿子多好 God, I wish I had a son like you.
去九泉之下会你老爸吧 Time for a family reunion.
喂 Hey.
何不对付一个和你体型一样大的? Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
-你没事吧? -没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah.
回家吧 Time to go home.
谢谢 海扁王 Thanks, Kick-Ass.
我爸爸 My daddy...
他会为我们俩感到自豪的 ...he would have been proud of both of us.
叫我戴夫 Dave.
-戴夫·莱泽斯基 -这我知道 傻蛋 - Dave Lizewski. - I know that, dumb ass.
敏蒂 Mindy.
敏蒂·麦克雷迪 Mindy MacReady.
-再见 -回见 - Bye-bye. - Bye.
敏蒂搬去和马库斯住 他把她转来了我的学校 Mindy moved in with Marcus and he enrolled her at my school.
-回见 -好运 - Bye. - Good luck.
她第一次上学 First school she'd ever been to...
我保证会照顾好她 On the promise that I'd look out for her.
嘿 Hey.
但她貌似不怎么需要我照顾 Not that she needed me to.
喂 新来的 Hey, new kid.
你好 Hi.
快把午饭钱交出来 Lunch money... now.
海扁王消失了 但人们没有忘记他 Kick-Ass was gone but not forgotten.
有了这些新超级英雄的保护 我们的世界更安全了 And my world was much safer with all the new superheroes.
大家都说是我激发了他们 They said I was their inspiration...
但我只是开了一扇门 But all I did was make a door into a
走进了童年来一直梦想的世界 World I dreamed about since I was a little kid.
一个充满超级英雄的世界哈? A world full of superheroes, huh?
一个伟人曾说过 As a great man once said...
有邪恶才有正义 "wait till they get a load of me".