I've jacked up a safe house. You can move in in the morning.
See, isn't this nice? You've got a telephone. You can put a TV there.
Go to class, keep your head down, and keep me informed.
Cash on Fridays, and a new mattress for my bed in the adult section.
Bye, Loretta.
I found his will — Wolf's will.
All my kids are in there, and so's Brandon. You want to tell me why?
Um, he's Wolf's kid.
LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO
Wait. Where are you going?
School.
School, school. Right. Yeah, good.
Is everything OK, Cheryl?
Mm-hm. Look, you may have noticed over the last few days I've been a bit...
...of a chain-smoker?
Yeah, well, there's a reason for that.
You're guilty for shoving Grandpa into a rest home?
Even though it's a high-quality one.
No, this has nothing to do him.
They've found Dad.
< No. No.
(SIGHS)
< There is no easy way of telling you guys this,
and I might as well tell you, cos you're gonna find out some other way, and you have a right to know.
You have a brother.
Yeah, his name's Jethro.
No, no, you have another brother.
What? I'm a triplet?
No.
You're pregnant? No.
Did you have another kid before us?
No. No, not me.
Your father had an affair.
It was years ago, when Pascalle was a baby.
Shit.
So, who's the slapper?
Anne-Marie Gibbs. Sparky's sister?
< Yeah.
Hang on — you said we had another brother?
Anne-Marie had a son.
So you're saying Brandon Gibbs is our half-brother?
Oh my God.
LAUGHS: Oh, that's too good! > Oh my God!
Brandon went to Shadbolt High with Pascalle. He was a rugby player.
And we all know how much Pascalle loves her rugby players.
Bullshit. LAUGHS: No bullshit. >
Oh dear.
Oh my God, Pascalle rooted her own brother!
Yeah. When one-night stands go bad.
Van!
HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS
# Lying in the gutter,
# I cut the cord from my mother.
# She pat me on the head and said,
# 'Go to sea, boy. Get to sea, man.'
# My luck in the gutter black.
# I guess I'm running back...
# ...to you.
# You in my brain. You in my heart. #
Honey— Don't say a word.
No, look, it's not your fault. How were you meant to know?
I don't want to think about it, Mum. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go to work.
WHISPERS: Brother-fucker.
(GIGGLES)
Don't worry, Mum. With the number of guys she's shagged,
it was only a matter of time before one was a relative.
Seriously not helping, Loretta.
Poor thing, man. Rooting her brother. What a total 'mare.
You're rooting her brother and I don't hear you complaining.
That's different and you know it.
And how are you doing?
A bit queasy, to be honest.
I meant about the Wolf part, not the Pascalle part.
I'm dealing with it. How are you guys?
Dunno.
I'm disappointed in Dad, but not really all that surprised. Really?
The odds of getting through 20 years of marriage without someone cheating are pretty slim these days, eh?
Well, at least we've got tomorrow night to take our minds off things, haven't we?
Your film thingy you didn't think I knew about.
How do you know about it? The school newsletter.
Apparently Loretta's short film is one of only six films to be given a public showing.
Ooh, whoop-de-do. That's really choice.
< It is well done, love.
It's just a school project.
Well, I, for one, am really looking forward to it.
It's part of the curriculum. I couldn't not do it.
But why did you let them screen it?
Because it's good. And good is good, right, as far as you getting into film school is concerned, right?
Can't you beg them not to show it?
Mr Bates loves it way too much. Who?
Mr Bates. The film-studies teacher. He was moved to tears.
Oh my God, you've made some cliched, dark, brooding... Goodbye, Loretta.
Jools, I won't have my name on a crap film.
OK, Notting Hill. Crap or non-crap?
Biggest pile of shit ever.
Uh-oh. I loved it.
Look, you tell Mr Wanker, or whatever his name is, that you refuse to have your film shown.
Are you nuts? This is my first ever premiere.
Jools, this could undo the whole scam. My mother wants to be there.
I'll reserve the back row for the Wests. Come in late, leave straight after. Can't you can organise that?
There is no way in hell my family is going anywhere near that film!
It's not funny, Wayne.
Sorry.
Pascalle could be emotionally scarred for life.
Bloody Wolf! Jesus, he's fucking Anne-Marie Gibbs, while I'm at home with three bloody children —
breaking up fights, and feeding somebody, and washing somebody, and changing somebody's nappies.
And then at the end of the day, I manage to get them all into bed, and Wolf comes home from a job,
and we both collapse on the couch with a beer cos we're both so bloody exhausted.
But we would congratulate ourselves for doing it — for doing it together.
Lying bastard!
I wonder— I wonder who else he was screwing.
Was Anne-Marie the only one?
Or was she the only one he knocked up?
Jesus.
What?
Plunket.
Pascalle must have been about 1.
And she— And she was there with her boy.
And we sat in the waiting room, watching the kids play together.
She must've been shitting herself.
I bet she told him all about it later.
You know, however much of a prick he was, I always trusted him.
It never occurred to me that he might screw around, let alone— let alone a kid;
this whole other... fucking world.
God help him, eh, if he ever shows his face round here again?
I'd love him to show his face again.
He puts that bastard kid of his in his will and doesn't tell me about it.
We all get to find out after he's gone.
He carks it and then kicks us when we're down!
I wish he could come back so I could shove that will down his throat.
I wish I could tell him what a coward he is.
I wish I could tell him how much I hate him!
Here's that rug rider again.
Nice to see you too, Mr West (!)
And you, Pascalle.
Hello.
I really enjoyed the movie the other night.
Mm.
Normally I'm not an Adam Sandler fan, but it was quite amusing.
Would you like to go out again? Maybe tomorrow night?
I dunno, Bruce. I'm having some issues at the moment.
Issues with my family.
I too have issues with your family.
Particularly their views on race relations.
Oh, Grandpa's just mental.
My whole family's mental.
Yeah, let's go out again.
It'd be nice to have some moral support from someone who has morals.
Great. Tomorrow night.
OK, see you then.
Mr West.
Detective Sergeant Wayne Judd.
You must be Brandon.
Yeah.
Is your mum in?
Nah, she's at work.
Can I come in?
Sure.
You want a drink?
Oh, it's a bit early for me, Brandon.
I meant like tea or coffee. Or cordial.
No, thanks. Any idea where your dad is right now, Brandon?
Australia. So he's been in touch recently?
No. I've never spoken to him.
But he's always lived over there. He was a Bronco. >
A Bronco? Yeah, a Brisbane Bronco.
He and Mum met in a pub over there after a game.
Wolfgang West.
You know where he is?
Uncle Wolf? Yeah, sure — Uncle Wolf (!)
We don't know him that well.
He's mates with my Uncle Barry.
Why'd you ask about my father if you're looking for Uncle Wolf?
So what's his name, then, this league-playing dad of yours?
Mum never said.
You never asked?
I did once. She said she couldn't remember his name.
She bags herself a sports star but can't recall his name?
< Look, I said I asked her once — she got all thing...
Maybe he was in a bar, said he was a Bronco just to get in her pants.
Fair enough. I don't really care. It's not like he wanted to know me or anything.
What are you getting at, anyway?
Nothing.
Are you saying... Uncle Wolf is my old man?
What do you care?
You don't care.
Shit, he did used pick me up from kindy sometimes when Mum was at work.
Yeah, he's a real saint (!) But have you seen him more recently than kindy? Say in the last few weeks?
On my last birthday — three months ago...
Oh God! He's Pascalle's dad.
Oh God. What's going on?
I fucked my sister! < What?!
Why didn't you tell me, Mum? I had to hear it from a cop!
Hear what from a cop?
Where is Wolfgang West?
Oh God, you get out of my house.
Has Wolf been in contact with you?
I told you to get out of my house!
Oh man, isn't there some kind of law against that?
Probably. But if Wolf gets in touch with you—
Get out! >
Calm down, Brandon. >
You lied to me about who my dad is! >
VIDEO GAME PLAYS
KNOCK ON DOOR I'll get it.
Hi. Is she OK?
Thanks for coming round. She just needs a friend to talk to.
Hi, Cheryl.
Hey, Kase.
A vino or two?
Oh, love to, but we're going out.
She's in denial about the whole Wolf situation.
Mum, we can see the film another night. Stay and have a drink with your friend.
Why don't you come with us? Sure.
Come where?
< Loretta's made a movie.
Cool. What's your movie about, Loretta?
Oh, she says it's a surprise.
KNOCK ON DOOR Bye.
Wait. Don't we get to meet this bloke?
No, you don't. Van!
What?
Hey, bro.
Did we order takeaways?
No, I'm here to pick up Pascalle.
(CHUCKLES)
OK, see youse.
At least we know he's not related.
Hold on. Hold on.
Why don't you come in? We were just about to have a drink before we go out.
This is my mate Kasey. Hi.
And Pascalle's brother Van,
and his girlfriend, Aurora, Pascalle's younger sister, Loretta. I'm Cheryl.
I'll try to remember everyone.
My name's Bruce.
ALL CHUCKLE
No, really.
How's it, Bruce?
Bruce is a doctor at the Janet Frame.
I have a few patients there. I try to drop in whenever I can.
Jolly good. So, where are you guys off to?
I thought maybe a movie. We're going to the movies.
Loretta made it.
Apparently it's awesome.
I'd love to see it sometime.
No! Why don't you come with us?
No, Mum.
Well, how often do we get to show that the Wests can be creative too?
What do you say, Bruce?
I say I'd love to come.
(GROWLS)
(WHISTLES)
Wayne, I've just had one Anne-Marie Gibbs on the phone, shrieking at me.
Claims you illegally entered her house; harassed her son...
Hardly.
The kid invited me in and all I did was ask a few questions.
About Wolfgang West. So?
So, were you on official police duty or were you sorting out your girlfriend's dirty laundry?
You're on bloody thin ice, mate.
Can I go now?
Yeah, you can go.
Maybe you should think about making it permanent.
Bloke with brains would see the shit coming and get out before it hit.
Resign? Might be a wise move.
Piss off.
CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS
Shit, hope we haven't missed anything.
APPLAUSE
Congratulations, Ming Ming Chen, for your moving piece on alienation.
Ha! Ming Ming! Ha ha!
Next up, a particularly brave film by one of our Year 11 students — Loretta West.
Loretta has confronted some demons and produced what she calls a highly cathartic and deeply personal work
I give you Jandal by Loretta West. APPLAUSE
Good luck.
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
Oh, that's clever.
EERIE MUSIC PLAYS
GIRL LAUGHS
THUD! THUD!
MUSIC BUILDS OMINOUSLY
LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
GIRL SCREAMS
GIRL SHRIEKS
Oh, gross.
Oh my goodness.
GIRL CRIES
Can we go? Yeah, let's go.
Eh?
APPLAUSE
What the hell do you want?
I thought it was time to have a bit of a chat — bloke-to-bloke.
(LAUGHS) Bugger off.
It's about your mum.
This whole Anne-Marie Gibbs thing — you know about that?
Yep. Mum's told me.
She's gutted. And she wants some answers... from Wolf.
Can't be easy for you kids.
Your old man leaves a chunk of your inheritance to some drop-kick that you don't even know. >
Do you know where your father is, Jethro?
Nah.
Must've been exciting for you, the gang job.
Highlight of Wolf's career, I reckon. I told him that last time I saw him.
Just before he buggered off.
He left under the impression that I was going to tell the Horsemen if he ever came back.
The truth of the matter is, I wouldn't have said anything.
I care about your mother too much.
Those bastards would have ripped you to shreds: you, Wolf, and probably Van.
Hell, they would've had a go at your sisters just for being related.
And as for my esteemed colleagues,...
the minute I give them the information, the Horsemen will know, and you're all dog tucker.
That is why I'm still keeping quiet.
That is why I'm compromising myself beyond belief.
When I say to you I want to find your father, it's not to make an arrest — it's for your mum.
I haven't heard from him.
Not a word.
Nobody else has? Sparky or Hayden?
No one.
The only person who reckons Wolf's been in touch with them is Grandpa. And he's off his head.
The old bastard has his lucid moments when he wants to.
Not lately.
Fair point.
Dad hasn't even been in touch about the money. Nothing.
It's like he's disappeared off the face of the planet.
(SIGHS)
Thanks.
I'm going to bed.
Maybe we should head to bed as well, OK, babe?
Yeah.
Why was everyone acting all weird in the car?
I'll tell you in the bedroom.
Brilliant (!) Now Bruce thinks our family's full of paedies.
Pascalle!
As if finding out I rooted my own brother wasn't bad enough, now we've got a kiddie-fiddler in the family.
This is the worst day of my life.
You rooted Van?
Anne-Marie's kid.
Only once. >
Brandon is Pascalle's brother?!
Why does everyone have to rub it in?!
Wolf got Anne-Marie up the duff?!
Oh God. Oh no, I need something stronger than this. Where's the rum?
You know, I suppose Brandon does look a bit like Wolf, you know, when you think about it.
I bet there never was any Australian rugby league player. God, what a lying tart.
Kase, please. I don't really give a shit about any of that right now.
Right.
Any idea who it might have been?
The Loretta thing, that is.
'Course I bloody don't.
Shit, sorry. It's just...
why did I not know? How could I not have known?
It's a mother's worst nightmare, Cheryl.
And it's just so awful that it was a family member who did this.
Well, if the film's accurate, it's a family member or a family friend.
Is there anyone Loretta's really funny around?
I don't think so.
God, everybody.
Fuck, I don't know.
Oh, Loretta.
Poor thing.
You stupid, stupid bitch. Do you have any idea of the shit I'm in thanks to your stupid wanky film?
You better call me as soon as, Jools,
otherwise I will start abusing you in ways you've never imagined!
KNOCK ON DOOR
I'm in bed.
Can I come in?
Not if you want to talk about the film.
Honey...
< Mum, it's a work of fiction.
It's why you didn't want me to come to the screening, isn't it?
It's a work of fiction.
Cos you didn't want me to know about it, did you?
Mum, it's made up!
It's total bullshit!
So why does it say true story?
Because controversy sells.
Sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse — people dig it. >
Mum, people only respect you as a film-maker if you're messed up in some kind of way.
So I lied, I totally lied. End of story.
DOOR OPENS
Who was it? Tell me who it was and I'll rip his fucking nuts off!
READS: 'Tease, tease, tease.
'First date, second date, even third or fourth.
'Making your man wait is the key to keeping him interested.'
Well, I think we all know that's not entirely true.
Gidday, Ted.
(SNORES)
Bloody hell.
Rangi Tipene. Eh? >
I thought you were dead, mate.
How's Sharon?
Yeah, good.
But I'm looking for Wolf.
If anyone can cook a whitebait fritter, your Sharon bloody can.
Have you spoken to Wolf lately?
< 'Course I have. You have?
I ring him every day or so, let him know what's going on.
I need to let him know when it's safe to come back.
Come back from where?
I haven't missed my lunch, have I? Oh, Rita'll bring me something.
So, have you got a number for Wolf, or what?
I couldn't call him without a number, Rangi.
Bloody Maoris — never going to win no academic prizes, are ya?
Can I have it? The number?
Uh-uh. Keep it up here.
Otherwise the screws'll come sniffing around.
Wait a minute. You're that moustachey twat!
The one Slutty-pants is going around with. Get out of my house!
Settle down, mate.
You're a cop! You can't come in here without a warrant! You're not welcome...
Oh, fuck.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
What did you do to him? Nothing. He just keeled over.
That's crap! This is police brutality — just like with Rodney Hide. What?
In LA? The riots? You know what I'm talking about.
Pascalle, you should come with your grandfather.
Bastard.
PHONE DIALS
Welcome to TAB Easibet.
Well, she said she made it up.
I'm sorry, but, no.
A movie that powerful only comes from experience.
You know about film, do you?
I know about people, Cheryl.
Apart from pick-pocketing, shoplifting and forgery, she's OK.
She's in denial.
That's what they do. They go into denial.
And it totally explains why she's a dyke!
Ladies.
Eric.
Want to take your hand off my arse, Eric?
Sorry. Just slipped.
I'll just, uh... (CLICKS TONGUE)
Eric's been a friend of the family for ages, right?
Donkeys.
Eric?
Surely not.
You can't tell me he's not a sleaze.
But is he a sleaze who wore jandals? That's the question.
See, look, it's summer. Everyone wears jandals in summer. Even I'm in bloody jandals.
No, Van.
God, was Eric ever out of those jeans?
Thankfully, no.
Oh, check out that beard, man.
Yeah, he was pretty into ZZ Top back then.
And there are those jeans again.
Why are they all wet?
He went bodysurfing at Piha. Wolf pulled him out of a rip.
Good old Wolf. No wonder Eric idolises him.
Good old Wolf — what a fucking hero (!)
Maybe he popped over to Anne-Marie's later on that night to celebrate.
Jesus, this is bullshit.
If Loretta said she made the film up, then she made it up.
You're in denial just like she is.
You know, I reckon it was Eric.
You sure?
I'd bet my left butt-cheek on it.
AURORA: No.
I mean, Eric's a creep, but he's a harmless creep.
No such thing, Aurora.
I mean, how many times has he grabbed your arse?
Huh, just once.
He won't be doing that again.
Case closed.
I've known some scuzzballs, man, and Eric is one of them, but he's not that kind of scuzzball.
What's going on?
It was Eric, wasn't it?
Kase! What?
You can tell us, Loretta. >
Oh my God.
Baby, he needs to pay for what he did to you!
I would never let Eric close enough to touch me!
Loretta, I'm your mother. Tell me the truth.
Mum, I am telling you the truth. I was never abused. I made it up!
If you were never abused, then why are you a lesbian?
OK, first of all, sexual orientation
is not determined by whether or not someone was abused as a child!
And, secondly, I am not a lesbian!
Yes, you are.
Then I'm a pretty slack one, considering that I've been fucking a guy for the last month!
PHONE RINGS Who?
Someone.
Hello?
Yeah, so what's this boyfriend's name?
Hey, Pascalle. I can't say.
Because there is no boyfriend!
Mum, why do you let this person in our house?
Is there a boyfriend or not?
Oh!
Loretta!
Classic denial behaviour. Hang on.
Cheryl, it's Pascalle. She's at the hospital with Grandpa.
What?
It is not funny!
Jools is ruining my life with her stupid film!
Everyone is looking at me like I'm about to break.
LAUGHS: I knew someone as twisted as you had to have a dark past.
Just shut up. No matter what I say, no one will believe me.
You could tell them you didn't actually make the film.
Um, no, I couldn't, because that would imply also having to tell them I don't go to school,
and that I pay someone to go for me. And that is a whole other mess of trouble.
But it is a marginally better mess of trouble.
No, I can't do it.
It's my best scam ever.
Oh God, I have got to get this situation under control.
I kind of accidentally even sort of told them about us.
Yeah?
Don't worry, I didn't mention any names.
I wouldn't mind if you did.
Really?
Nah. Except your mum would read it that you're being fiddled with by an older bloke... again.
Ha ha. They probably wouldn't believe me, anyway. Better they all think I'm a lesbian.
And are you?
No.
Well, prove it.
PHONE RINGS
Jesus, can't a joker have a quiet beer on his own these days?
Did you touch my sister?
Eh? You know.
Which one?
Oh, you kiddie-fiddling bastard!
Piss off! I cuddle her — it's hardly fiddling, and she's not a kid!
Don't you lie to me, mate. Loretta doesn't cuddle anyone.
Loretta? I'm talking about Pascalle.
What? You touched her too?
Not in a bad way!
And as for Loretta, are you nuts?
Yeah, well, someone did.
What?
That's disgusting... and wrong, and potentially fatal.
Hey listen, Van, even if I was that much of a perve —
which I'm not, thank you very bloody much — I wouldn't go near Loretta.
She's evil, that girl.
She set fire to my beard!
True.
It's just wrong, you know.
And I want to find out who did it.
Absolutely. We should do something about it.
Beer?
Loretta, I don't know whether you are getting your messages, but I'm at the hospital, call me.
He woke up in the ambulance and said Spring Heeled Jack flashed his donger at Rita
and that the townspeople were going to go after him with guns, and then he just zonked out again.
So Wayne was with him when he collapsed?
Yeah. Did he say why?
< No.
This is definitely the most miserable week of my life.
First, Brandon Gibbs, then a kiddie-fiddler in the family, and now Grandpa might die.
I mean, I know he was, like, smelly and he used to, you know, grope us and that,
but at the end of the day, he's our flesh and blood and we love him.
Hold on. Did you say he groped you?
Yeah, but only when he didn't know who I was.
Oh my God, Cheryl.
No, Kasey.
Yes, Cheryl.
I mean, Loretta and him are real close, aren't they? It all fits.
Where is he? Oh, you do get your messages.
He's fine. He's just having some tests. That's all we know for now.
What are you doing here?
Moral support.
Yeah, well, I've almost got a boyfriend, so you can stick your moral support up your—
For Loretta.
Pardon?
Why are you holding my sister's hand?
Oh my God. He's the boyfriend.
It gets worse?
How could he go from me to her? It's like going from a 10 to a two.
Darling, some guys like damaged goods.
She must be sleeping with him. She said she was sleeping with him.
No, she said she was fucking him.
Oh, she can't be with Hayden. It's too disgusting.
You know what this means, don't you? I have indirectly slept with my sister.
Eh?
We learnt it in an STD talk in Third Form.
Everyone your partner's rooted, you've rooted. First Brandon, and now Loretta!
You know why she's hooked up with an older man. It's because of the abuse. That's what survivors do.
I thought they became lesbians.
Or they form unhealthy patterns.
They go for older men because they think it's normal. Loretta's a textbook case.
Oh Christ, I need a drink.
Hey, do you think it's significant that no one's congratulated us yet?
At least Mum hasn't passed out.
Um, I'm just popping out for some fresh air. Call me if anything happens.
How's the old boy?
Alive. Waiting on test results.
Good.
What were you doing at the retirement home?
Just having a yarn.
About?
Wolf. I was trying to find out if he'd heard from him.
I never touched the old guy. He just passed out right in front of me.
Why were you asking about Wolf? You wanted some answers.
And so you decided to start a manhunt?
You swore you would shove that will down Wolf's throat if he ever came back here. I'm keen to see that.
Look, I know you're hurting, and I don't like it,
but if you being able to have it out with Wolf will help,
then I will do everything in my power to make it happen.
Though it hasn't been one of my more successful assignments so far — what with Ted keeling over,
and Brandon learning some of his family history,...
Oh no, you didn't.
...and Anne-Marie screaming blue murder to my superiors.
Listen, don't get yourself into more shit over me.
To be honest, Cheryl, I don't care about getting into shit.
I'm thinking of PERFing.
PERFing?
Taking my pile of retirement cash and leaving the force. What do you reckon?
I reckon it's the best idea I have heard in ages.
You totally freaked us out, Grandpa.
They put me in a washing machine. Why would they do that?
It was a brain scan.
In a washing machine?
Pascalle, could I see you for a moment?
Go on. Promise I won't peek at your letters.
You can skip the speech. I know what you're going to say.
You do?
You don't want to see me any more because my family are all messed-up inbreds.
Actually, I was going to tell you your grandfather's test has shown something interesting.
Oh.
He's not suffering from Alzheimer's.
Really? That's awesome!
He has a brain tumour.
Oh my God. That sucks!
No, no, it doesn't suck. It's good news.
OK, I'm not a doctor, but even I know that a brain tumour is bad.
Not when it's operable.
The hospital is scheduling the surgery. Your Grandpa will be as good as new.
So he won't be nuts any more?
If that's how he was before.
That's so wicked.
I thought you'd say that.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
It says nothing about Alzheimer's in Ted's medical records.
So why did we think he had Alzheimer's?
Because he was mental all the time?
That was the tumour.
Or he was playing us.
I think it was Dad said it first.
As I recall, he said it and we all believed him.
Yeah, I think I remember that too, actually.
Yeah, Dad definitely said Grandpa was fucked in the head.
Yeah, I guess sometimes Dad never told us the truth.
Yeah, he could be a bit of a wanker like that... sometimes.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Knock, knock.
Is that another film?
Yeah.
So, what's this one about?
Sorry.
Hey, it's good news about Grandpa, huh?
I always knew he was more on to it than he was letting on.
You two have always been really close.
You've always been his favourite. You do know that, don't you?
Even when you were little, he...
No way.
Please don't say what I think you are.
What do you think I was going to say?
Mum, the film was made up.
I was never abused, especially not by Grandpa!
I'm not suggesting that— Yes, you were. How could go there?
You know Grandpa is not like that!
I don't know anything any more!
I thought I did. I thought I had a handle on most people, but I was wrong.
And if I couldn't see what type of man I was married to,
then what hope have I got of being able to pick when someone's hurting one of my kids?
Protecting you lot — that's all that's ever mattered to me.
You did.
You do.
You what?
I'm coming clean. Why?
Because thanks to your stupid film, my mother is really upset,
I need her to know she's a good mother and that there is no family paedophile.
You can't! Just hang in there. The school year's almost over, and then I'll be out of your life.
I'm moving to Wellington.
Why?
Well, Mr Bates showed my 'stupid film' to a friend of his.
Goes by the name of Peter...
Jackson. No way.
And he liked it. He's offered me a job as a runner on his new film.
I mean, it's not much, but it's a foot in the door.
That's my job! No, it's not.
Yes, it is. My name's on the film!
My name is on the film.
So you're Loretta West now, are you?
Actually, yeah, I am.
No, you are confused, that is what you are.
I changed my name by deed poll... to Loretta West.
You can't do that!
Yeah, I can. And I did.
Look, our contract's almost over.
If it all blew up, it wouldn't be cool for either of us.
So what do you reckon we shake hands, you say, 'Thanks for the good grades,'
and I say, 'Thanks for allowing me to fish my life out of the toilet,'
and we both say goodbye and live happily ever after?
I can't work out whether Jools won or I did.
Let's look at the upsides.
You won't have to put that school uniform on every morning — or is that a downside?
We don't have to keep our relationship secret,
and you're not going to Wellington.
But a Peter Jackson film?!
You, babe, are working on a Loretta West and Hayden Peters' film.
Our porn flick isn't quite the same.
If it makes you feel better, we'll have a guy in a gorilla suit.
And what am I going to do about Mum?
She still thinks I was abused, and she's doing that whole mother-guilt thing. I can't deal with it.
Well, then, just as you're so good at inventive sexual positions, you're gonna need to get creative.
Bert Thompson?
Bert Thompson.
Ted's old mate, Bert?
The one who died eight years ago. Yep.
Bert Thompson abused you?
I thought you said you made it up.
Abused is quite a strong word. More like he offered me a lolly and then said, 'Gizza kiss.'
And he sometimes tweaked my nose like this.
Ow! I used to hate that so much.
He'd go, 'Hello, lovey. Hello, lovey.'
Ow!
It was pretty traumatic. >
I guess it was those memories which triggered the thought process behind Jandal.
And then it was just exaggerated for dramatic effect.
Hold on. Why tell me this now?
I didn't realise how empowering it is to tell the truth.
It's like freeing the shackles, breaking the chains. (SIGHS)
Being able to breathe again.
OK.
Great.
And you have got nothing to worry about.
You're a really good mum.
The best.
So it's happy endings all round, eh? Except for Pascalle. She still rooted her half-brother.
And you, of course, because it's time for some more empowerment.
I want you to tell me about your relationship with some bloke old enough to be your father.
Connect four! (LAUGHS)
Man, not again.
PHONE DIALS
What's up, old man?
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Wolf. Your old man's in hospital.
Is that so? Yeah. A brain tumour.
Thought you might want to pay a visit.
Now, I'm buying, to say thank you for Grandpa. Beer?
I don't drink. Oh, me neither.
Raspberry lemonade?
Yum, me too.
Hi.
Yeah, hi.
Who's that?
No one.
Now, are you're sure you want to get involved with my screwed-up family?
Pascalle, I don't want to get involved with your family.
I want to get involved with you.
Hey. Hey.
What's this?
I don't know where he is, but if you want to talk to him, that's his number.
Wolf?
Do with it what you want.
For closure, or whatever they call it.
Nah.
Nah, I've got that.
HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS
# Lying in the gutter,
# I cut the cord from my mother.
# She pat me on the head and said,
# 'Go to sea, boy. Get to sea, man.'