翻譯: Cathy 淺淺 該該
搞定了 給你準備了素食千層面 All right, you've got veggie lasagna
校對: UN
和辣味火雞當晚飯 and turkey chili for dinners.
還有很多酸奶和胡蘿蔔條 And there's plenty of yogurt cups and carrot sticks,
如果你餓了想加餐的話 in case you want to get your snack on.
後期: UN
你要去3天呢 You're gonna be gone for three days.
要是人家沒了糧食可咋辦 What if I run out of food?
壓制: 凱撒大牛
那你就會餓死 但是 Well, then you'll starve and die, but...
總會有人給我電話知會一聲的 I'm sure somebody'll call me.
你為啥非要去 就不能讓別人 Why do you have to go? Can't someone else
去參加那個愚蠢的教師會議嗎 go to that stupid teacher conference?
不行 因為我就是那個自願參加的傻缺老師 No, because I'm the stupid teacher that volunteered for it.
再說了 我又不是去嘉年華會 Besides, I'm not going to Mardi Gras.
Mardi Gras 為慶祝天主教節日 在美國舉行的盛大嘉年華會
我會直接去Springfield的Abe汽車旅館 I'm headed to the honest Abe's motor lodge in Springfield.
那有泳池嗎 Does it have a pool?
我不知道 也許吧 不過有浴缸 I don't know, maybe. I mean, they do have a hot tub,
但是我總覺的醉鬼們會在裡面尿尿 but I always think drunk people pee in those.
要是我我就會 I know I do.
你不在的時候人家要幹嘛嘛 What am I supposed to do while you're gone?
想幹嘛幹嘛 你老婆出城了 哥們 狂歡去吧 Anything. Your wife's going out of town, fella. Whoop it up.
呃 我不喜歡狂歡 Uh, I don't whoop.
我單身的時候就不喜歡 I wasn't a whooper when I was single.
我結婚正是因為我不喜歡狂歡 I got married because I couldn't whoop.
我可是好好狂歡過了 噢耶噢耶 sure did my fair share of whooping. Ay-ay-ay.
但是呢 But
狂歡的那些 things are gone and those
照片都被徹底銷毀了 pictures have been cut up and burned.
答應我每天都打電話 至少聽聽你的聲音 Promise you'll call me everyday so I can at least hear your voice.
每天醒來和睡前都會打的 Every morning when I wake up and going to bed.
說話算話 Seriously.
我會在浴缸裡給你發短信的 Oh, and I'll text you from the hot tub.
某人今天早上怎麼這麼沒幽默感 Somebody has totally lost his funny bone this morning.
你去吧 You know what, go.
但是等你回家的時候就認不出我了 But when you come home and you don't recognize me,
我會成為滿臉鬍渣的弱老頭 I'll be the frail old man that's bearded
躲在地下室自言自語 and mumbling to himself in the basement.
別鬧了 你會沒事的 答應我 You're gonna be fine. Just promise me
只吃我給你留的東西 you're gonna eat the food that I gave you
別狂吃垃圾食品 and not go on a junk food binge.
那你也得答應我 好好照顧自己 If you promise me you'll take care of yourself
不許跟來自Rockford的體育老師私奔 and not run off with some P.E. Teacher from Rockford.
拉鉤 你不許吃巨無霸 Deal. No Big Mac for you...
我也不跟"巨無霸"老師私奔 and no Big Mac for me.
我要繼續打包行李了 嘿 I'm gonna go finish packing. Hey,
你還留我兩年前的聖誕節 do you still have that little flask
送你的小酒瓶嗎 I got you two Christmases ago?
當我沒說 當我沒說 Never mind, never mind.
邁克和茉莉
第三季 第二十一集
電波誠譯
哥們兒 振作點 Man, you better snap out of it.
Droopy Doggin 德魯皮 卡通片裡一直昏昏欲睡的狗
我可不希望你這三天 'Cause I'm not gonna have you "Droopy Doggin'" It
都耷拉著臉跟德魯皮似的 for the next three days.
別煩我 Carl 我想我老婆 Leave me alone, Carl. I miss my wife.
別像個小孩兒似的唉聲嘆氣了 Well, maybe instead of pining like a little baby,
利用這段時間重溫一下我們的友誼吧 you should take this time to reconnect with your best friend.
開什麼玩笑 我們每週有40個小時在一起 Are you kidding? We spend 40 hours a week together.
那是我們的工作時間 That's our professional 'relationship,
又不能互相分享生活的點滴 not us sharing about our personal life.
你嘮叨了我一個小時 So, you fretting to me for an hour
關於你聲稱的縮小的蛋蛋 about your alleged shrinking testicle
這是盡職盡責的工作時間麼? is considered by-the-book police work?
你如果不知道我想什麼 How you gonna be able to watch my back if you don't know
怎麼能照顧好我 what's going on in my head?
說不定我不知道的話 I'd probably be more likely to take a bullet
才肯為你擋槍子兒 for you if I didn't.
現在我們知道了 Now we know that.
看看 我們好久都沒這樣掏心窩 See? We haven't had one of these heart-to-hearts
地聊天了 for as long as I can remember.
你逗我玩呢 我都聽你 Are you kidding me? I've been hearing
嘮叨了你的小蛋蛋理論 about your small ball theory
從我給你袖珍捲尺起至此之久 since I got you that pocket tape measure.
我開始覺的 You know, I'm starting to
天氣也會有影響 think it's got something to do with the weather.
大氣壓什麼的 You know, barometric pressure.
每當烏雲逼近 Every time a cloud rolls in,
我的寶貝從18.1厘米縮短到17.5厘米 I go from 18.1 centimeters to 17.5.
我們能別說這個了麼 Are we all caught up now?
- 我想給我老婆發信息 - 嘿 - 'Cause I'm gonna text my wife. - Hey.
今天晚上 咱倆去喝杯酒吧 How about tonight, you and I go out and grab a beer
重燃我們友誼蠟燭的餘燼 and rekindle the embers of our friendship.
"回家 就是現在" "Come home, now."
你可以幫我泡妞兒 You could be my wingman.
沒有什麼比這更能打動女人心了 Nothing melts a single lady's heart
一個朋友撫慰他悲傷的夥伴 like seeing a caring friend console his grieving buddy
幫助他從喪妻的悲痛中走出來 over the tragic death of his wife.
我才不會讓你說我老婆死了呢 I'm not gonna let you say my wife's dead.
我坐在輪椅上 你推著我 It's bad enough I let you take me
走進脫衣舞俱樂部已經夠糟的了 to a strip joint in a wheelchair.
我們也不用明確說她到底去了哪 We don't need to be specific about her whereabouts.
她走了 你難過 我飢渴 She's gone, you're sad, I'm horny.
呃 這些你還真說對了 Well... all of those things are true.
你妹啊 Moranto 你下來幹嘛 Damn it, Moranto, what are you doing down here?
這怎麼有股輪胎著火的味道 And why does it smell like a tire fire?
我在烘乾我的車墊 I'm tumble drying my car mats.
Joyce把春季大掃除搞的太過頭了 Joyce is going nuts with this spring cleaning thing.
這臺烘乾機不是給你的車墊用的 That dryer is not built to handle car mats.
它可以烘乾你的內衣 It can handle your underwear.
說起輪胎燒焦的味道 And talk about burnt tire smell.
難道不像在前排看納斯卡賽車嗎 It's like ringside at NASCAR.
NASCAR 美國著名的賽車運動
拿著你的破墊子趕緊離開這 Just get your crap and get out of here.
你在家呆著幹嘛 What are you doing home anyway?
你老婆出城了 你應該去找點樂子 Your wife's out of town. You should be out having fun.
去脫衣舞俱樂部什麼的 Go to a strip club or something.
Molly不在我什麼都不想幹 I don't like doing anything without Molly.
一切都變了 - It's not the same. - Well,
脫衣舞女郎跳大腿舞的時候 Well you certainly have to be more gentlemanly
你得對她們溫柔點 during the lap dances.
我是不瞭解你老婆啦 And I don't know about your wife,
但是我老婆不讓我把頭埋在她們胸裡搖晃 but Joyce has a strict "No motor-boating" Rule.
我要去吃一頓她給我準備好的晚飯 I am gonna eat one of the prepared dinners she left me,
然後8點30上床 go to bed at 8:30,
聞著她的枕頭香直到睡著 and smell her pillow till I fall asleep.
你噁心死我了 You disgust me.
你真是老公界的恥辱 You're a disgrace to husband's everywhere.
怎麼 就因為我老婆不在家 Why? Because when my wife's out of town
我不想給脫衣舞女郎一塊錢 I don't want to give some stripper a buck
讓她在我的臉前搖晃翹臀 to shake her behind in my face?
相信我 只收一塊錢的 Trust me, the ones that'll do it for a buck,
你不會想看見她們的屁股 you don't want their behinds in your face.
你要多少錢才願意 How much would it cost for me to see your behind
挪動著你的屁股從樓梯上去 walking up those stairs?
如果你不在這三天裡 Look, if you don't take advantage of these
好好享受自由 你會後悔到 three days of freedom, you will regret it
此生殆盡 for the rest of your life.
我愛我老婆 我想她 I love my wife and I miss her.
這是因為你還沐浴在婚姻的"早春"裡 That's because you're still basking in the early bloom,
但是總有一天 就在不久的將來 but one day, in the not so distant future,
你會發現你身處Wisconsin Dells you will find yourself standing in the Wisconsin Dells
拿著可笑的行李 戴著鴨舌帽 wearing fanny packs and visors,
為了去哪吃午飯而爭吵 arguing about where to eat lunch.
噢 天吶 Oh, God.
當你在思考到底要去橄欖花園吃飯 And as you try to decide between Olive Garden,
還是被公車撞死的時候 or jumping in front of a bus,
你會後悔沒有利用 you will regret not having taken advantage
這寶貴的日子來享受那甜美的自由 of these precious days of sweet freedom.
呃 Well...
Skokie Fourplex在演<活跳屍> Re-Animator is playing at the Skokie Fourplex,
Re-Animator <活跳屍> 美國恐怖片
他們有自助的熱黃油泵 and their hot butter pump is self-serve...
而且沒人管 and unmonitored.
這就對了 There you go.
嬰兒學步 Baby steps.
不論你想做什麼 Whatever you want to do.
重點是 要像漢子一樣活著 The point is to live like a man.
Vince 你他媽的在這幹嘛呢 Vince, what the hell are you doing down here?!
我在給我的車墊來個春季大掃除 親愛的 I'm giving my car mats a little spring spruce, my dear.
你忘了嗎 你說它們有股臭腳丫子味兒 Remember you told me they smell like feet?
快點 快點 小毛球 Well, chop-chop, hairball.
趕緊的 幹完家務活兒 Come on, you got to finish your chores
帶我去橄欖花園吃飯 and then take me to the Olive Garden.
展翅高飛吧 小雛鳥 Spread your wings and fly, little bird,
- 為了我們大家 - Vince - for all of us. - Vince!
嘿 哥們 裝的悲傷點行嗎 Hey, man. Could you please try to look more sad?
往眼睛裡撒點辣椒醬 Just put some hot sauce in your eyes
要不就拔根鼻毛出來 or pluck out a nose hair, or something.
看在上帝的份兒上 你剛失去了老婆 You just lost your wife, for God sakes.
咱有話直說吧 我告訴你 Let's just cut to the chase, and I'll tell you
這些姑娘們到底在想什麼 exactly what these ladies are thinking.
沒門 沒門 去你媽的沒門 No, no and hell no.
咱們直接看電影去吧 Can we please just go to a movie?
看電影不能聊天啊 We can't carry on a conversation in a movie.
這可是我們重溫友誼的時間 And this is our time to reconnect.
就我和你 Man, me and you.
幫你度過這些 可怕的 And to help you through this horrible,
悲傷的日子 horrible time of grief.
你還戴著戒指呢 Still wearing your ring.
- 真讓我難過啊 - 你能不能 - It just breaks my heart. - Will you...
別再利用我泡妞兒了 please stop using me to meet women.
你的20塊錢呢 Where's your $20 bill on a string?
我在Payless鞋店花了 Ah, I lost that at a Payless shoe store.
那個女人有著貓一般的柔韌度 她值得 That woman had cat-like reflexes. She earned it.
我們喝完啤酒直接回家吧 Let's just finish our beers and go home.
還不到回家的時候呢 Mm, not quite yet.
James 最近咋樣 兄弟 James. How's it going, man?
很好 Good.
- 你是Carl 對吧 - 是呀 - It's Carl, right? - Yeah, man.
我跟你前妻約會過 I used to date your ex-wife.
咱倆也算半個親戚了 We're practically related.
人們管這叫西班牙表兄弟 I think they call that Spanish cousins.
是啊 Right.
你最近怎麼樣 So, how you doing?
你覺的呢 How's it look like I'm doing?
我穿著名牌衣服 喝著優質啤酒 爽斃了 I'm wearing Hugo Boss, drinking a Sam Adams. Boo-ya.
很高興再見到你 It was good to see you again.
你一個人來逛 Hanging out in a singles bar by yourself huh?
Christina把你也踢了? Christina kick you to the curb too?
那個女人想啥呢 What does that woman want?
咱倆這麼帥的她都不滿足 那 I mean, if two handsome studs like us ain't good enough then
她說不定不喜歡男人 she might not even be into dudes.
你懂吧 嗯 你懂的 You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about.
- 其實 她在外面車裡等我呢 - 噢 - Actually, she's out in the car waiting for me. - Oh.
- 是啊 她特想吃辟啪小辣椒 - 嗯 - Yeah, she had a craving for pepper poppers. - Mm.
你懂的 孕婦嘛 You know how it is with pregnant women.
孕婦 Pregnant?
糗了吧 Boo-ya.
反正很高興見到你 夥計 Anyway, it was good seeing you again, man.
是呀 我也是 等一下 Yeah, good to see you, too. Hang on.
她懷的是誰的孩子 How pregnant is she? 'Cause, you know,
我們倆也交往過一段時間 it hasn't been that long since she and I...
- 不是你的孩子 - 好吧 好吧 - It's not your baby. - All right, all right.
嘿 要是有個什麼萬一 Hey, well, you know, just in case,
一定要讓他上個好的大學 make sure he goes to a good college.
我真替他倆高興 I'm happy for them.
高興的不得了 I couldn't be happier.
Christina知道我想要個孩子 Christina knew I wanted a kid.
現在那個男人擁有了我的孩子 And now that man's having my baby.
積極的一面是現在你不用 Well, look at the bright side now you don't have to
給色情頻道裝上家長限制系統了 put parental controls on your porn channels.
太傷人了 It hurts so much.
我如此深愛她 她卻讓我心碎 She broke my heart and all I ever did was love her.
我深深地愛過她 Mike I loved her so much, Mike.
你會找到其他人愛的 You'll love again.
嘿 也許是時候買個天竺鼠了 Hey, maybe now's the time to get that guinea pig
你一直嘮叨來著 you've been talking about.
我的世界支離破碎 My world is shattered.
四分五裂 It's torn apart at the seams.
我吃不下飯 睡不著覺 I can't eat, I can't sleep.
睡眠精靈得拿著兩大口袋 The sandman's gonna have to bring two bags
sandman 睡眠精靈 往眼睛裡灑沙子使人安睡
沙子才能抵住被我決堤的淚水 to dam up my levee of tears.
吃點褪黑素 喝點安眠茶 A couple of melatonin, maybe some nighty-night tea...
嘿 我還可以拿壁爐裡的木頭棍子 Hey, I could always clock you in the jaw
打你的下巴 with a fireplace log.
你想幹嘛就幹嘛吧 Do whatever you want.
我不在乎是否還能醒來 I don't care if I ever wake up again.
我看不到明天 There's no tomorrow.
只有過去 There's only yesterday.
還有我那消逝的愛情 And the love that I once knew...
Molly打來的 我得接下電話 This is Molly. I got to take this.
嗨 甜心 Hi, sweetie.
沒幹嘛 就是想你 Nothing, just missing you.
她也想我了 She misses me, too.
除了我每個人都有伴兒了 Everybody's got somebody but me.
唉 是Carl在喊叫 我也不知道 他就是有點難過 No, just Carl. I don't know, he's upset about something.
更重要的是 你今天咋樣 More importantly, how are you?
噓 她在跟我說今天的行程呢 Shh, she's telling me about her day.
Vin 把這些墊子收起來 Vin, roll up these rugs.
Victoria 開始把架子擦擦乾淨 Victoria, get going on those shelves.
我整個週六都在大掃除 So, I'm gonna have to spend my whole Saturday spring cleaning.
你明知道今天是我閱讀和沉思的日子 You know this is my day to read and reflect.
沉思個屁啊 沉思 Reflect on what? The fact that you
你週一到週五都屁事沒幹嗎 didn't do crap Monday through Friday?
Molly打電話回來了嗎 她收到我的花沒 Did Molly call and say she got my flowers?
你究竟到哪去了 Romeo Where the hell have you been, Romeo?
你該把紗窗裝好 把簷溝清理乾淨 You got to put up the screens and clean the gutters.
開玩笑吧 我半宿沒睡 You got to be kidding. I was up half the night
陪著哭哭啼啼的Carl 還得載著他 with a colicky Carl. I had to keep driving
滿街轉 直到他睡著 him around the block till he fell asleep.
別抱怨了 我也還沒睡過呢 Quite whining. I haven't even been to bed yet,
我四十分鐘前就過了藥勁了 and my buzz wore off about 40 minutes ago.
如果你毒癮犯了 就對著松油清洗劑吸一口氣吧 If you're jonesing, try huffing the pine cleaner.
我現在看東西是雙影 I'm seeing double and I can't hear anything
並且左耳失聰 out of my left ear.
我一直聽你們各種抱怨 I sure am hearing a lot of bitching
一群白吃白住不給錢的傢伙 from people who live in my house for free.
這位女士說得很對 The lady makes a very good point.
Vince 換上工作服 Vince, put on some work clothes and
我去拿梯子 I'll grab a ladder,
一會房頂見 and I'll meet you on the roof.
這才像話嘛 That's more like it.
我都讓你遠走高飛了 I told you to fly,
你還非得回來 是吧 but you had to come back, didn't you?
笨死的渡渡鳥 You big dodo bird.
渡渡鳥 已經絕種
真噁心 This is disgusting.
你聞到了嗎 Can you smell this?
過來聞聞 Get over here and smell this.
我在這都聞到了 I can smell it from here.
快到放到袋子裡 接著挖吧 Just put it in the bag and keep scooping.
這不只是枯枝爛葉啊 This isn't just rotten leaves.
告訴你 這溝裡一定死過東西 I'm telling you, something died in these gutters.
可能是只松鼠或老鼠 Probably just a dead squirrel or a rat.
不是 比那個更大更臭 No, this is bigger, more sour.
就像正在腐爛的流浪小矮人 It's like a rotting, hobo midget.
或許聖誕老人又少了個幫手 Maybe Santa lost a helper.
我們在這幹嘛 What are we doing up here anyway?
這是女人該干的活 This is women's work.
這也挺好的啊 We're better off.
我們只有這一項家務 We've only been given one chore
可以拖延時間慢慢來 and we can stretch it out as long as we want.
如果挖出小矮人的屍骨 Well, if I scoop up a dwarf skull,
我就從屋頂跳下去 拿你做安全氣囊 I'm jumping off this roof and using you as my air bag.
我們快點幹完 Let's just get it done.
然後我們換著 在煙囪後面 Then we can take turns napping behind the chimney
一個打盹一個望風 while the other one waits lookout.
第一隻死知更鳥 First dead robin of the season.
你是想給它起名 還是扔進袋子裡 You gonna name it or bag it?
如果是你在我的鉑銳上拉屎 If you're the one who crapped on my Sebring,
那就下地獄去吧 I'll see you in hell.
天 Geez.
好像一下把十年的塵土全放出來了 There's like ten years of dusty farts in here.
媽媽 這銀器拋光劑搞得我頭暈眼花 Mom, this silver polish is making my eyes blurry
都開始脫髮了 and some of my hair's falling out.
省著點用 市面上已經買不到了 Use it sparingly, they took that stuff off the market.
為什麼孩子們口渴的時候總喜歡去水槽下面找喝的 Why do kids always look under the sink when they're thirsty?
我來開門 I'll get that.
不行 你別去 Oh, no, you won't.
我不會讓你靠近敞開的門 I am not letting you anywhere near an open door.
你會像我們只養了兩個小時的傑克羅素犬一樣溜走 You'll take off like that Jack Russell we owned for two hours.
Flynn女士 我是來向Mike道別的 Miss Flynn, I'm just here to say good-bye to Mike
我要離開這裡開始新生活了 before I leave town to start a new life
愈合我的心靈創傷 and try to mend this broken heart.
別讓眼淚掉到地板上 我剛上過蠟 Well, don't get any tears on the floor, I just waxed it.
嗨 寶貝 Hi, sweetie.
我只想留言告訴你一聲 Just thought I'd leave you a quick message
我找到那個飛盤了 to tell you I found that Frisbee.
好吧 就這樣 Okay, that's it.
呃 希望你也玩的開心 Uh... hope you're having fun, too.
愛你 拜 Love you. Bye.
嘿 我們不是來這打電話的 懷春少女 Hey, we're not up here to make phone calls, Gidget.
把袋子拿過來 Now bring that body bag over,
我又發現一隻乾枯了齧齒動物 'cause I just found another mummified rodent.
松鼠還是老鼠 Squirrel or rat?
啊 Ah...
我賭這是負鼠 My money's on possum.
鑒於他爪子的姿態 Based on the position of his paws,
它是在驚恐中死去的 it died scared.
似乎垂死掙扎過 Looks like there was definitely a struggle.
可能是被野貓逮到了 Probably a feral cat got ahold of it.
也可能是無家可歸的小矮人 Or a hungry, homeless dwarf.
他們什麼都吃 They'll eat anything.
你又看了有瘋狂矮妖的電影了嗎 Did you watch that movie with the crazy leprechaun again?
那是根據真事改編的 You know, that's based on a true story.
嘿 Hey.
Carl 你怎麼來了 Carl, what are you doing?
我覺得離開之前應該過來看看 Ah, didn't feel right leaving town without coming by,
擁抱你一下 giving you a big hug
告訴你 你對我有多重要 and telling you how much you mean to me.
你要去哪 Where you going?
還沒想好 I haven't decided yet.
去一個我能重新開始的地方 Someplace where I can get a fresh start.
別去印第安納 Avoid Indiana.
那地方沒什麼是新的 There's nothing fresh about the whole state.
它就像這簷溝一樣 只不過放煙花合法 It's like these gutters, but with legal fireworks.
Carl 別說傻話了 Carl, you're talking crazy.
回家睡覺去吧 Go home and get some sleep.
雪佛蘭的後備箱就是我的家 No, my home is in the back of that Chevrolet Blazer,
我的未來就在我前行的路上 and my future lies on that road ahead of me.
記著 走55號洲際公路 Remember, stay on I-55,
因為它全程都繞開了印第安納 'cause it loops all the way around Indiana.
這座城市太小 有太多的回憶 This city's too small and has too many memories.
商店的櫥窗 路邊的水坑 I see her reflection in every shop window
總能浮現她的身影 and every puddle on the street.
老鼠 Rat.
告訴你 I'm telling you,
這屋頂有古怪 there's something on this roof...
它是個殺生機器 that's a killing machine.
不知道當初我幹嘛要買這破鋼琴 I don't know why I ever bought this damn piano.
你倆沒有一個能彈首曲子 Neither of you girls can play a tune to save your life.
- 是你不讓我們練習啊 - 沒錯 - Well, you wouldn't let us practice. - Yeah.
那是因為你彈得太難聽 'Cause you sounded awful.
就像燒著了的貓 身上還纏著風鈴 Like a burning cat tangled in wind chimes.
- 我來開 - 哦 別動 - I got it. - Oh! Freeze.
別想溜走 And don't try to run.
你的車鑰匙和大麻都在我這 I got your car keys and your weed stash.
算你狠 Damn it.
怎麼了 What?
- Mike在嗎 - 在屋頂 - Is Mike here? - On the roof.
那你還敢呆在屋內嗎 And you are brave enough to be inside the house?
Carl 你不能每當女人傷了你的心時 Carl, you can't just pack up and move to a different state
就收拾行李 搬到別的州去 every time a woman craps on your heart.
遲早你會搬遍全國的 Yeah. Sooner or later, you'll run out of options
到時就不得不搬去加拿大 做個同志 and have to go to Canada and turn homo.
我有個朋友就是這樣 Happened to a buddy of mine.
- 真的嗎 - 是啊 - Really? - Yep.
他在薩斯卡通有家提供住宿和早餐的溫馨小店 Owns a sweet little B-and-B in Saskatoon.
每次你走進房間 Warm chocolate chip cookie on the nightstand
都會有巧克力碎餅乾放在床頭 every time you walk into the room.
- 聽起來不錯啊 - 很美的 - That sounds nice. - It's lovely.
後院有個石景園 Little rock garden out back.
你應該帶Molly去看看 You should take Molly.
這是個「無與倫比的浪漫週末」 It's "A romantic weekend without equal."
我引用的是宣傳冊裡的話 I'm quoting the brochure.
我可不能呆在芝加哥 Well, I can't stay in Chicago.
到時候 我肯定會遇到Chistina Eventually, I'm gonna run into Christina
看到她抱著個孩子 and she'll be holding a baby.
嘿 只要她沒有把孩子塞給你 Hey, as long as she's not thrusting it at you
說「現在這麻煩歸你了 孩他爹」就成 saying, "It's your problem now, Daddy."
不然你覺得我為什麼不去印第安納 Why do you think I avoid Indiana?
你在這兒啊 Carl There you are, Carl.
我好擔心你 I was so worried.
啊 他沒事 就是有點鬱悶 Ah, he's fine. Just a little upset,
需要和朋友談談心 needs to talk things out with his friends.
你大老遠來就為了確認我沒事 You came all the way over here to check on me?
當然了 你就像我的兄弟 Of course, you're like a brother to me.
那種一旦逃租 A brother I would not hesitate to sue
會毫不猶豫起訴的兄弟 if he skipped out on the rent.
你看 人們還是關心你的 See, people care about you.
你不能就這麼逃了 這是法律規定的 You can't just run away. It's the law.
好吧 看著另一個人過著原本屬於我的生活 Well, how can I ever be happy
我怎麼可能開心的起來呢 while another man is living the life I was supposed to live?
我以前對於水下探險家Jacques Cousteau I used to feel the same way
Jacques Cousteau 法國著名水下攝影師 曾獲金棕櫚獎
也有和你一樣的想法 about underwater explorer Jacques Cousteau.
- 愛Jacques Cousteau - 對吧 - I love Jacques Cousteau. - Right?
我真嫉妒那個戴小紅帽的混蛋 How I envied that red-capped bastard.
我在陸地上起早貪黑的時候 While I was busting my hump on land,
他正在七大洋裡暢遊航行呢 he was sailing the seven seas.
他還有那種水下潛艇呢 He had that underwater sub, too.
鸚鵡螺號 The Nautilus.
讓你能和傳說中的巨型烏賊面對面 Get you eyeball to eyeball with the legendary giant squid.
人類已經被送上月球 They have put men on the moon,
但是在海底還有很多 but so much of the deep sea
未被探索和未知的東西 is unexplored and unknown.
是吧 Right?
我是說 那底下可能什麼都有 I mean, anything could be down there.
就像這些簷溝 It's like these gutters.
嘿 看啊 Hey, look.
我找到了一堆你祖母的舊銀器 Found a bunch of your grandma's old silver.
反正你已經對清潔劑產生耐受力了 Since you've built up a tolerance to the cleaner,
你就繼續干吧 I'll let you keep going.
媽 我擔心這會對我造成永久性腦損傷 Mom, I'm worried I might be getting permanent brain damage.
我聽你彈鋼琴的時候也是這感覺 That's how I felt hearing you play the piano.
咱倆扯平了 We're even.
那個笨蛋哪去了 Where is that clueless knucklehead?
那個 屋頂上有個大雜燴呢 Well, we got a nice assortment on the roof.
*是的 Calypso* *Aye, Calypso*
*你曾今去過的地方* *The places you've been to*
*你讓我們見識的萬物* *The things that you've shown us*
*你講述的故事* *The stories you tell*
*是 Calypso* *Aye, Calypso*
*我歌頌你的精神* *I sing to your spirit*
*忠於你的人們* *The men who have served you so long and so well*
不敢相信你剛才給我電話留言 Can't believe you just left a message on my machine
說你要離開這城市 telling me you were leaving town.
我覺得丟臉 奶奶 I was humiliated, Grandma.
比我抓到你在我的假髮頭像 More humiliated than when I caught you
的嘴部開了個口子還丟臉嗎 cutting a mouth hole in my wig head?
我那時候才13歲 而且不是你看的那樣的 I was 13 years old, and that wasn't what it looked like.
那看起來就像一個小男孩在和假髮頭像XXOO It looked like a young boy having sex with a wig head.
我以為你來這兒是鼓勵我的 I thought you came here to cheer me up.
聽著 孩子 Look, boy
失去一個人肯定都是不好受的 Losing somebody is never easy.
但是你必須忘了這個女人 But you gotta get over this woman
然後繼續你的生活 and get on with your life.
這太難了 奶奶 It's so hard, Grandma.
深愛一個不愛你的人 Having somebody you love not love you back.
我知道 I know that.
當你爺爺離開我的時候 When your grandpa left me,
我覺得我的整個世界都要崩潰了 I thought my whole world was gonna fall apart.
離開你 Left you?
不對呀 你告訴我他去世了 No, you told me he died.
那我還能怎麼告訴你 What was I gonna tell you?
說我某天回家 That I came home one day,
他已經收拾好東西 溜出城了 he'd packed up all his stuff and skipped town?
那你為什麼跟我說他死了 So why did you say he was dead?
他對我來說是死了 He's dead to me.
要是再讓我見到他 And if I ever see him again,
他就真的死定了 He'll be dead to everybody else too.
這個玩消失的婊子養的 Disappearing son of a bitch.
那你現在為什麼又告訴我 Well, why are you telling me this now?
可能我以前覺得太丟臉了 Guess I was just too humiliated before.
但是到最後 But, eventually,
另一個人走進了我的生活 somebody else came into my life
他帶給了我從未想像到的快樂 and brought me more joy than I could ever imagine.
那人是誰啊 Who was that?
我給你點提示 I'll give you a hint.
他年輕 英俊 He's young and handsome,
而且他和我正一起坐在門廊鞦韆上 and I'm sharing a porch swing with him.
我愛你 奶奶 I love you, Grandma.
我也愛你 I love you, too.
如果下次你再決定離開這裡 And if you ever decide to leave town again,
你最好帶我一起走 you better take me with you.
說定了 It's a deal.
除了印第安納哪兒都行 Anywhere but Indiana.
Mike 我撐死了 我再也吃不下了 Mike, I'm stuffed. I can't eat any more of this.
拜託 Molly隨時會回來 Come on, Molly's gonna be home any minute
我不想讓她知道我在節食上作弊 and I don't want her to know I cheated on my diet.
但是我已經吃了半烤盤蔬菜千層面 But I've already eaten half the pan of veggie lasagna
和四個酸奶杯了 and four yogurt cups.
多抽幾口大麻 然後把這些東西都搞定 Smoke some more pot and tear through this stuff.
Mike 你是個警察 Mike, you are a cop.
我覺得你讓我做的是不合法的 I don't think you can legally tell me to do that.
嘿 三年來我一直睜一隻眼閉一隻眼 Hey, I have turned a blind eye for three years
你的臥室聞起來就像Willie Nelson的鬍子 while your bedroom smelled like Willie Nelson's beard let's go!
Willie Nelson 美國著名鄉村搖滾運動的領頭人 曾獲得格萊美終身成就獎
是她 That's her.
拿著 把這個藏到你車的後備箱裡 Here, hide this in the trunk of your car.
把胡蘿蔔扔到屋頂上 Throw the carrots up on the roof.
那頂上有個東西什麼都吃 There's somethin' up there that will eat anything.
如果我再吃點這種土耳其辣椒 If I have any more of this turkey chili,
我可能會拉出來一個朝聖者 I'm gonna crap a pilgrim.
把碗放進水槽沖掉 Put the bowl in the sink and rinse it out.
快快快 Go, go, go!
我的姑娘回來啦 There's my gal.
教師大會開得怎麼樣 How was the teacher conference?
哦 我覺得很有趣 Oh, I think it was fun.
大部分時間我都是醉醺醺的 I was pretty drunk most of the time.
你想我了嗎 Did you miss me?
想到無法形容了 More than I can tell you.
怎麼回事 What...?
為什麼下起胡蘿蔔雨了 Why is it raining carrot sticks?
因為我親愛的回家了 'Cause my sweetheart's home.
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