[Theme song music...]
Am I a Twink?
Your hands are too big for a Twink. I'd say you're a Jock - with Brokeback Mountain rising
[Scoffs] This pisses me right off.
What?
The gay community is so racist... look at all these dickheads on Instagram doing blackface.
Toby that's a charcoal face mask, it cleans your pores.
Well, why is everyone's face so bunged up?
They're probably getting paid to use it.
Paid?
Yeah.
If you have enough followers people pay you to take photos with their product.
Sick, so I could take a photo with shit on my face
as long as it's culturally approximate.
[Camera sound]
Oh, shit my phone's buggered.
[Tap tap tap tap]
Toby... you're getting so many followers your phone is in "influencer mode".
[Phone speaks] Congratulations on breaking the Internet, Toby. Please enjoy your free underwear.
[Fireworks going off]
I'ts raining jockstraps, Cam! Indoors!
A yacht will pick you up in half an hour to take you to the
premiere of Michael Bay's film, 'I Legit Don't Care Anymore'.
Starring the Distracted Boyfriend and a pug dressed up as a taco.
Can he bring a plus one?
[Buzzer] Voice not recognised.
I - I said, can he bring a plus -
[Buzzer] Voice deliberately not recognised.
Hey! Don't talk to my cousin like that!
[Upbeat holiday music] Would you like a fried chicken burger on a cinnamon doughnut bun? Vegan sunglasses? Gluten-free havaianas?
Fuck no, where's my money?
[Buzzer] All rewards for social media influencers are In Kind.
What does that mean?
It means to get stuff for free so they have to pay you money. [Phone continues to speak inaudibly]
Well that blows!
Piss off evil Siri! I don't want your shit!
It's not like I can pay for rent "in kind", is it?
You don't pay for rent of any kind.
Was that the door?
[Theme song music...]