老爸老媽浪漫史 第六季 第五集
孩子們 在2010年的秋天 Kids, in the fall of 2010,
巨人國家銀行委派我 I was designing the new headquarters
設計一座新的總部大樓 for Goliath National Bank,
這意味著 我和你們的巴尼叔叔 which meant working side by side
并肩作戰 一起工作 with your Uncle Barney.
我喜歡你提議的點子 I love your idea
在屋頂安置一個巨大的火圈 about a giant rooftop ring of fire
這樣你就可以騎著摩托鉆過去 you can jump through with a motorcycle,
不過我做了一點小小的改動 but I tweaked it slightly and...
仍然超級無敵的 This is still super bad-ass.
屋頂建一座空中花園 It's now a patio garden
你可以帶午餐上去吃 where you can bring a nice bag lunch.
真牛逼 Sick.
沒錯 Yeah.
兄弟 Dude.
一起工作 一定會成為傳... Working together is gonna be legen--
等等 Wait for it.
沒說完的字 我會用辦公室內部備忘發給你 I'll send you an inter-office memo with the rest
因為我們現在在一起工作了 'cause we freakin' work together!
一切都進展得很順利 Everything was going great.
然而就在這時 巴尼說 That is, right up until Barney said...
重大消息 Oh, big news.
新樓的選址終于敲定了 The board finally settled on a site for the building.
新址選在阿卡迪亞酒店這塊地 It was the site of The Arcadian,
紐約最古老的旅館之一 one of New York's grandest old hotels.
在它最輝煌的時期 In its heyday,
這里是國王和皇后們在紐約的家 it was the New York home to kings and queens.
但現在... But lately...
只剩下扮裝皇后了 ...mostly just queens.
嗨 帥哥 Hi, handsome.
想找個伴嗎 Lookin' for a date?
不了 謝謝 Uh, no, thank you.
我還挺有魅力的 Still got it.
巴尼 我們得談談 Barney, we have to talk.
當然 怎么了 Sure. What's up?
打擾了 斯丁森先生 Excuse me, Mr. Stinson.
等會再來 翠施 Not now, Trish!
但這是一封加急備忘 給莫斯比先生的 But there's an urgent memo for Mr. Mosby.
-"奇" -傳奇 - "Dary." - Legendary!
你剛才要說什么來著 So, what's on your mind?
這樓 我不設計了 I can't design the building.
太好了 Oh, yeah.
寶貝 不行不行 Oh, baby. No, no.
別穿著橡膠腳墊的絲光襪 Not the slipper socks with the rubber soles.
我花了好多心血來營造這浪漫的情調 I work so hard to-to set the mood,
可我一看到這個 and-and when I see those,
我就覺得我的卵子 I feel the egg go
直接從輸卵管縮回去了 right back up my Fallopian tube.
寶貝 這緞面的床單太滑了 Baby, these satin sheets are slippery.
-爸比需要加大摩擦 -什么摩擦 - Papa needs traction. - Traction?
你也知道 As you know,
爸比十分享受翻云覆雨的過程 Papa likes to get down with enthusiasm.
別再管你自己叫"爸比"了 Please stop calling yourself "Papa."
但沒有了摩擦 And without traction,
爸比我只想趕緊了事 離開這張床 Papa's likely to boogie himself right out of bed.
要么穿這雙襪子 要么穿足球防滑鞋 It's either these or soccer cleats.
對了 我跟羅賓聊過了 Hey, so I talked to Robin.
我想她昨晚跟馬克斯搞上了 I guess she and Max hooked up last night.
孩子們 你們也許還記得 Kids, as you may remember,
馬克斯是馬修在法學院認識的朋友 Max was a friend of Marshall's from law school...
最近正跟羅賓打得火熱 with whom Robin was really starting to hit it off.
還好了 我喜歡那家伙 Nice! I love that guy.
大家伙馬克斯 這個名字充分顯示了他的優秀度 Max is both his name and his level of awesomeness.
[Max有極大 最大值的意思]
沒錯 他人很好 Yeah. He's a sweet guy.
她跟他在一起覺得很舒服 She feels really comfortable with him.
曲棍球讓他們走到一起 They bonded over hockey.
我想他小弟弟應該很小 I guess he has a small penis,
下周末他們想來個四人約會 but they want to double-date next weekend.
你干嘛告訴我這個 Why would you tell me that?
好讓你空出時間來啊 So you'll clear your schedule.
不 上一句 No! The other part!
小弟弟的事嗎 Oh, the small penis thing?
停 別說了 別再說了 Ah! Don't! Stop saying that!
你干嘛要不停地說 Why do you keep saying that? You...
我不想知道這個 I don't want to know that.
我以后沒法直視他的眼睛 I'm not going to be able to look the guy in the eye.
也肯定沒法叫他"大家伙" 了 I'm certainly not going to be able to call him "Max."
你真有病 That's insane.
就因為你知道大家伙馬克斯有個小弟弟 I mean, just because you know Max has a small penis--
別說了 Just don't!
你開什么玩笑 You're kidding me.
對不起 我做不到 I'm sorry. I can't do this
因為這意味要拆毀阿卡迪亞酒店 if it means tearing down The Arcadian.
它可是一座標志性建筑 It's an architectural landmark.
而且還有人住在里面呢 Plus, people live there.
巨人銀行打算怎么遣散 How does GNB plan to get hundreds of residents
這數百名居民 to just up and leave?
-放蛇 -你剛才是不是說"蛇"這個詞兒了 - Snakes. - Did you just say "snakes"?
我不記得我剛有說過 I don't recall saying "snakes""
泰德 我知道你熱愛那些無人問津的老古董 Ted, I know you love crappy old stuff no one cares about.
但我要送你一句四字箴言 But I'm gonna give you four words to live by:
舊不如新 New is always better.
舊不如新 New is always better?
你知道誰會比 我睡過最辣的妞 You know who's a million times hotter
還要好上一百萬倍嗎 than the hottest girl I've ever slept with?
她身邊還沒被我扒光 還算看得過眼的朋友 Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked.
為什么 Why?
因為 舊不如新 Because new is always better.
是嗎 這理論放之四海而皆準嗎 Mm-hmm? And this theory applies to everything?
沒錯 Everything.
那新拍的《星球大戰》的電影 So, those new Star Wars movies...
也比那些老版的更好嗎 those are better than the old ones?
沒錯啊 頭三部根本沒有提到 Yeah. The first three barely mention
銀河貿易法的錯綜復雜之處 the intricacies of intergalactic trade law.
可當你去聽槍炮與玫瑰樂隊的演唱會時 And when you're at a Guns n' Roses concert,
你是不是會說 《天堂之城》也就那樣吧 you're like, "Yeah, yeah, Paradise City, whatever.
[《天堂之城》出自1987年 是該樂隊成績第三好的單曲]
應該唱幾首《民主大中國》的歌 比較帶勁 "When are they gonna rock me some Chinese Democracy"?
[《民主大中國》是2008年出的專輯 銷售慘淡]
作為一位作曲家 阿歷克斯真的成熟了 Axl's really matured as a songwriter, Ted.
溫迪 我想請我朋友喝杯酒 Wendy! I'd like to buy my friend a drink.
最陳年的蘇格蘭威士忌是什么 What's your oldest Scotch?
格蘭麥肯納 封存在橡木桶里30年 Glenmckenna, aged 30 years in oak casks.
超贊的 Amazing.
那你這兒最新的蘇格蘭威士忌呢 And what's your newest scotch?
大吉姆葡萄威士忌 Jumbo Jim's Grape Scotch.
千萬不要喝 Don't let it touch your skin.
你決定吧 兄弟 Your call, buddy.
一杯大吉姆葡萄威士忌 聽起來不錯 A glass of the J-Jumbo Jim's Grape Scotch sounds lovely.
多來點冰塊 Lots of ice.
舊不如新 泰德 New is always better, Ted!
這是規律 That's a rule.
就像小不如大一樣 Just like bigger is always better
胡說 才不是呢 Pfft. That's not true.
有時候小 反而更好 Uh, sometimes smaller is better.
"各位快看 我的手機跟磚頭一樣大" "Hey, look how big my cell phone is!"
你聽過有人這樣說嗎 You don't hear people say that.
沒有 你需要的是 No. You want something compact
能塞進你口袋的 小巧好用的手機 and efficient that fits comfortably in your pocket,
而且我覺得馬克斯是個不錯的男人 And I think this Max is just a great guy.
莉莉告訴你了 Lily told you.
告訴他什么了 Told him what?
大家伙馬克斯有個小弟弟 Max has a small penis.
這種話 你們怎么說得出口 How can you speak of such things?
女生之間無話不談 Girls talk about everything.
大小 形狀 Size, shape,
放褲襠左邊 還是右邊 left or right leaning orientation...
長度 就像一位著名的歷史人物 Length, resemblance to a historical figure,
溫斯頓·丘吉爾[身高袖珍] such as Winston Churchill...
猜對了 說得就是你們其中之一 Yes, that's one of you.
周長 毛發長勢 Girth, grooming...
這種話你們怎么說得出口 How can you speak of such things?
少給我裝正經 You're kidding.
巴尼 每回只要我提到個你不認識的妞 Barney, every time I mention a woman you don't know,
你說的第一件事永遠是 "咪咪如何" the first thing you say is, "Boobs?"
連句完整的"她咪咪大不大"都懶得說 Not the complete sentence, "Does she have big boobs?"
其實都一樣讓人不爽 Which also would not be great.
永遠只會說 "咪咪如何" Just: "Boobs?"
我才不那樣的 I do not do that.
我同事羅芮 My friend Lori from work...
"咪咪如何" 我靠 Boobs? Damn it.
但是...話說回來 But... seriously.
咪咪如何啊 Boobs?
那憑什么男人談論咪咪就天經地義 So why is it okay for guys to talk about boobs,
而我們女人剛提起個話題 but the moment we bring up a topic
像是馬克思的小小弟弟 like Max's small penis--
你們剛什么都沒說 我什么都沒聽見 I'm gonna pretend this conversation never happened.
怎么可能 Impossible.
馬克思的弟弟像個小倒刺在我腦子里扎根了 Max's penis is stuck in my brain like a splinter.
小倒刺尺寸的小弟弟 Like a splinter-sized splinter.
說起不盡人意的小弟弟 Speaking of disappointing weenies...
泰德 告訴他們你剛說的話 Ted, tell them what you told me.
我想讓巨人國行的董事會 I want to ask the board at GNB
改變新總部的選址 to move the site for the new headquarters
這樣就不用拆掉一棟經典建筑了 so we don't have to tear down a classic old building.
我就不明白了 I still don't get this.
你咋就 莫名其妙突然間就 Why, all of a sudden, out of nowhere,
你是不是想毀了-- do you want to ruin--
咦 等一下 Wait a minute.
哪家的妞 Who's the girl?
-這就對了 -肯定是為了妞嘛 - Duh. - Of course there's a girl.
啥 我... What? I...
哪兒有什么妞不妞的 There's no g-girl.
你們干嘛 Why would you even--
她叫蘇伊 Her name is Zoey.
咪咪如何 Boobs?
多美的建筑啊 不是嗎 Beautiful building, right?
是這樣的 先生 你的外表很有說服力 Look, mister, you are very convincing,
本人深感榮幸 and I am very flattered.
差點忘了你的真身 Confused, even.
但我這不是來找... But I'm not looking...
我不是那種扮裝皇后 I'm not a drag queen.
不過我確實該考慮換個眼影了 But you definitely have me rethinking this eye shadow.
她不光幽默 Not only is she funny,
辣 是個貨真價實的女人 hot and genetically female,
還懂這個... but get this...
看那帕里迪奧式窗 充滿鄉村氣息的石雕 Look at the Palladian windows, the rusticated stonework,
那大理石飛檐 the marble cornices...
她是個建筑迷耶 She's an architecture nerd!
一個辣到爆的建筑迷 A hot architecture nerd!
簡直夢想成真 That's the dream!
誰做這種夢 Whose dream?
我倆興奮地聊了幾個小時 We wound up talking for hours.
我愛這座城市老舊的部分 I love how old parts of the city are.
讓我覺得自己與歷史相連 It makes me feel connected to history.
新不如舊 我都等不及想變老了 Old is always better. I can't wait to be old.
我也是 Me, too.
衣服可以穿各種帶松緊的 You can wear elastic everything.
口紅隨便涂 不用擔心涂到唇線外面 Your lipstick doesn't have to stay inside the lines.
可以在商店順手牽羊 然后裝老糊涂 You can shoplift and pretend you're just confused.
-在哪兒都能打盹兒 -沒錯 - You could nap anywhere. - Uh-huh.
甚至是開車的時候 Even while driving.
爽翻了 It's gonna be great.
我早等不及退化 飽經風霜 滿臉褶子了 I can't wait to be all run-down and weathered and wrinkly.
看你現在的樣子 你有的等了 Well, I'd say you got a pretty long wait.
真窩心 That's sweet.
要是你之前沒把我當成男人 我會更覺得窩心 It would be sweeter if you hadn't thought i was a tranny before,
不過還是很甜蜜 but it's still sweet.
泰德 好浪漫哦 Oh, Ted, that's so romantic.
讓我特想拿個 I want to fill a pillowcase
裝滿廢電池的枕套 掄你 with dead batteries and beat you with it.
泰德 Hey, Ted,
能幫我個忙嗎 can I ask you something?
赴湯蹈火 Anything.
能簽這個請愿書嗎 Will you sign this petition?
"拯救阿卡迪亞" "Save The Arcadian""
我們不能讓巨人國家銀行的那幫雜種毀了它 We are gonna stop the bastards at Goliath National Bank from demolishing it.
你會支持我們嗎 Will you support us?
然后你說啥了 And you said...?
簽在哪兒 Where do I sign?
葡萄味威士忌 不錯哦 Grape scotch. Not bad.
泰德 你之所以不想拆阿卡迪亞酒店 Ted, you only think The Arcadian needs to be saved
是因為某個辣妹不想拆 because some pretty girl thinks that.
而且 說正經的 And seriously...
咪咪如何 Boobs?
這跟那姑娘沒半毛錢關系 This isn't about the girl.
是那棟建筑 It's about the building.
那這位蘇伊小姐 And what did this "Zoey" say
在得知你 when she found out that you're the one
就是拆掉她心愛建筑的元兇 tearing down her beloved Arcadian?
你 泰德·莫斯比 That you, Ted Mosby,
就是破壞計劃的設計師之后 她作何感想 are the Architect Of Destruction?
要開始甜蜜的掙扎咯 Sweet wrestling name alert.
這個... Well...
這個嘛 說來有趣 Uh, it's a... it's a funny thing about that...
你是做什么的 泰德 So what do you do, Ted?
我是獸醫 I'm a veterinarian.
咋了 我慌了 What? I panicked!
這個偶遇事件充分凸顯了典型莫斯比 This whole Arcadian thing is classic Mosby.
會為了迎合女生 而改變自己 Changing your personality to fit some girl.
我才不那樣呢 I don't do that.
我要去見斯黛啦 Well, off to meet Steph.
我們追求刺激一簇 We're adrenaline junkies!
佩內洛普要帶我重溫葛底斯堡戰役 Penelope is taking me to the Battle of Gettysburg.
我們要吃松鼠哦 We're gonna eat squirrel!
她真的很辣 好不好 Look, she's really hot, okay?
別這樣嘛 拜托 Come on! Come on!
我們對喜歡的人多少會遷就 We all change a little for whoever we're into.
巴尼為騙個女孩兒上床 裝成猶太祭司 Barney pretended to be a rabbi to get laid.
亞裔美女喜歡帶點猶太風情的 Asian girls love them some Jews.
要不是為了莉莉 And Marshall never would've listened
馬修這輩子都不會去聽藍色少女合唱 to The Indigo Girls if it weren't for Lily.
我想某人樂不思蜀了呢 首長 Um, I think you got that backwards there, Chief.
不用太客氣哦 And you're welcome.
我要說的是 你并不是在 The point is, you weren't pretending
為對方佯裝你喜歡藍色少女 to like the Indigo Girls for the other person.
而是對方讓你意識到 你是真的喜歡 You realized you liked them because of the other person.
就像我 蘇伊和阿卡迪亞酒店一樣 Just like me, Zoey and The Arcadian.
巨人國行真的往樓里放蛇了嗎 Did GNB really put snakes in The Arcadian?
怎么會 No.
嚴格的說 只放了蛇蛋 Technically, they were eggs.
-你剛是不是說蛇蛋 -我不記得我有說過 - Did you just say "eggs"? - I don't recall saying "eggs."
于是 我就走進老板的辦公室 So I walk into my boss's office
然后突然意識到 and suddenly I realize,
"我的天啊 我要辭職了" "Holy crap, I'm about to quit""
小弟弟 Small penis.
你弟弟很小哦 You have a small penis.
你真幽默啊 但你弟弟太小了 Oh, that super interesting, but you have a small penis.
靠 馬修 Damn it, Marshall!
淡定 除了"小"和"弟弟" Okay. Okay. Think of any two words
隨便想兩個別的詞 other than "small" or "penis."
想到了 "小弟弟" Got it: small penis.
媽的 Damn it!
你能成立自己的律師事務所 是很了不起的事 Yeah, I-I think it is so cool that you started your own law firm.
沒什么啦 現在規模還很小 Well, right now it's a pretty small practice.
別謙虛 Hey, hey.
肯定沒那么小 I bet it's not that small.
老兄 Bro, it's...
確實非常小 pretty small.
但是 人們常說 Yeah, but, uh, you know what they say.
關鍵是你怎么使用它 對吧 The important thing is-is how you use it, you know?
像《海的韻律》那個故事一樣 "The motion of the ocean." That whole thing.
[《海的韻律》講述一對新婚夫婦乘一條小船環游世界途中的趣事]
他說小就小吧 馬修 大家沒意見 He said it's small, Marshall, and everybody's fine with that.
我們談談別的 Let's just move on.
我的意思是 我打賭肯定比他認為的要大些 I'm just saying that I bet it's bigger than he thinks.
更厚實 And thick.
沒有 它小到骨子里了 Nah. Everything about it is tiny.
辦公的地方小 兩側的會議室更小 The office is tiny. The conference room is tiny.
而且 我的員工也少得可憐[我的精子也少得可憐] Plus, I got a very small staff.
我們點菜吧 Let's order!
就在我鼓起勇氣打算"打電話給蘇伊 As I was mustering the courage to call Zoey
并且告訴她我的真實身份" and tell her my true identity...
蘇伊 Zoey...
我是蝙蝠俠 I'm Batman.
能這么講該多好 Hmm. That'd be cool.
最詭異的事情發生了 ...the strangest thing happened.
我需要你的幫助 I need your help.
先提醒你 Just to warn you.
我等會要給你看的有可能違法 What I'm about to show you is not a hundred percent legal.
真沒想到會是兔子 Wasn't expecting bunnies.
我偷來的 泰德 I stole them, Ted.
我的保護動物權利小組 My animal rights group liberated these guys
從一個邪惡的化妝品公司解救了這些兔子 from an evil cosmetics company.
我想 正好泰德是個獸醫 And I figured, "Hey, Ted's a vet.
他可以給它們檢查一下 保證它們的健康 He can check them out and make sure they're okay."
當然 我先上去拿來我的獸醫專用工具包 Absolutely. Just let me run up and get my bag of vet supplies.
好的 Okay.
我為什么要說我是獸醫呢 Why would I say that?
我想好要點什么了 Well, I know what I'm getting.
上等腰肉牛排 The porterhouse.
我以前在這家店吃過 I've had it here before.
肉有這么厚 It is like this. It's huge.
別省錢 老兄 Well, spare no expense, buddy.
這頓我請 再點些甜點 Dinner is on me, and-and get dessert.
這個巧克力熔巖蛋糕怎么樣 Maybe this molten chocolate lava cake?
只要你高興就好 I just want you to be happy.
謝謝 老兄 Thanks, man.
下頓我請 Next time, it is on me.
不好意思 我去下洗手間 Excuse me. I'll be right back.
我們在這兒等你 We'll just be here.
你是個好人 You're great.
謝謝夸獎 老兄 Ah. Thanks, bro.
抱的時間有點長了 It's, uh.... it's going on a while.
我知道 I know.
謝謝 Thanks.
靠 寶貝 你淡定點 Damn, baby, be cool!
你搞得好像他就剩6個月的命了 You're acting like he has six months to live.
都是你們的錯 It's your fault!
你們倆女人和你們喝酒閑聊的對話 You ladies and your salty sailor talk!
拜托 你們男人和你們更衣室里的對話呢 Oh, come on! What about you men and your locker room talk?
更衣室對話 Locker room talk.
你真想知道在男更衣室里是什么狀況嗎 Do you want to know what it's like in a men's locker room?
一幫不自在的大老爺們 It's just a bunch of uncomfortable dudes
想趕緊穿衣服走人 trying to get out of there as quickly as possible.
還有一個老頭子 赤裸裸地站那遛鳥 And one old guy just letting it all hang out.
難道你是說男人從來不談論自己的性生活嗎 Are you suggesting that guys don't talk about sex?
不 我們談 但我們怎么說的你知道嗎 Yes, we do, but you know what we say?
哥搞了個女的 "I hit that."
哥來了次雙飛 "I got some."
哥玩了把群交 "I tapped it."
哥抓了把咪咪 "I squeezed those."
簡潔到位 Discreet and efficient.
用詞還很老套 Not to mention classy.
幸好我現在不用約會了 Thank God that I'm not dating.
如果我一想到莉莉大談特談 If I thought that Lily talked in that much detail
我們的性生活的話 我會恨不得自殺的 about our sex life, I'd probably kill myself.
不會吧 Oh, no.
你告訴她什么了 What did you tell her?
我什么都沒說 I told her nothing.
我們從來不談論你 We don't talk about you!
確定一定以及肯定嗎 Are you sure?
對 反正我們從來沒談過你的摩擦力理論 Yeah. That argument has no traction whatsoever.
你就這么破門而入 去偷那些家伙的東西嗎 You just broke in and stole these guys?
難道你都不擔心被抓的嗎 Aren't you worried about getting arrested?
沒事 我都被抓過好多次了 Nah. I've been arrested lots of times.
把自己捆綁在一顆上百年的紅杉木上
在反戰大游行中偷了警察的馬
在2009年槍炮玫瑰音樂會后焚燒汽車
《民主大中國》是張爛專輯 Chinese Democracy.
你的行為還真有點瘋狂 You're a little bit crazy.
我都是因為做好事才會變得瘋狂 Well, I'm usually crazy for a good cause.
當不會說話的人或動物 甚至大樓 I can't just sit by while voiceless people or animals,
面臨危險時 我不能袖手旁觀 or even buildings get screwed over.
當然 國家巨人銀行想把阿卡迪亞酒店 I'm certainly not going to just sit by
變成一座沒有靈魂的金屬盒子 我也絕不袖手旁觀 while GNB turns The Arcadian into a soulless metal box.
對 你說得對 Yeah. Yeah.
盡管我聽說會設計一個可愛的頂樓露臺 Although I hear there's a lovely rooftop patio
讓人們可以好好享受自備的午餐 where folks can enjoy a nice bag lunch, so...
泰德 我會揪出那個巨人銀行的混蛋負責人 Ted, I will find the bastards at GNB responsible for this,
我向你保證 and I promise you,
我一定會 打垮他們 I will take them down.
活該了吧 Cuckoo!
泰德 這個女人是個擾亂分子 Ted, this woman is an anarchist,
反社會分子 極端分子 a sociopath, a lunatic,
還有看著上帝的份上 咪咪如何 and for the love of God, boobs?!
堅挺的C杯 來回亂蹦 Solid C-cup, perky bounce.
短暫勉強地致敬一下 Momentary grudging respect.
只要蘇伊相信是對的 她就會堅定不移地去做 Zoey does what she believes is right,
我也想成為她那樣的人 and I want to do the same thing.
我們得給大樓重新選址 We have to find a new site for this building.
泰德 這不可能 Ted, that is never gonna happen.
我不能拆毀阿卡迪亞酒店 Well, I can't tear down The Arcadian.
抱歉 我不干了 I'm sorry, but I'm off the project.
伙計們 Hey, guys!
我很感謝到場人數能這么多 I appreciate the great turnout,
鑒于我們的意見一致 but just so we're all on the same page,
但這真的不是讓大麻合法化的游行 this is not a rally to legalize marijuana.
你個無賴 Oh, bummer!
嗨 Hey.
嗨 泰德 Hey, Ted.
我真高興你能來 I'm so glad you came.
那天晚上 你的話讓我深受啟發 Well, you really got to me the other night.
我也想參與到"拯救阿卡迪亞"的行動中 I want to get involved with "Save The Arcadian."
很好 我給你拿個標牌吧 Great. I'll grab you a picket sign.
你是要"巨人銀行輕信于一個混球" Do you want "GNB puts the douche in fiduciary..""
還是要"在某處永遠都是4點20分"呢 ...or "It's always 4:20 somewhere"?
伙計 你忘了拿你的標牌 Dudes, you forgot your signs!
我抬頭看這座宏偉的古老建筑 As I looked up at that magnificent old structure,
我意識到 蘇伊沒有誤導我的感覺 I realized I wasn't letting my feelings for Zoey mislead me.
這座大樓真得值得保存 This building really was worth saving.
泰德·莫斯比 建筑界男巫師
泰德 你還好吧 Ted, everything okay?
沒 呃 沒事 Yea... um... um...
你為巨人銀行工作 You work for GNB?
伙計 為什么你穿得跟個男巫一樣 Dude, why are you dressed like a wizard?
她真的很辣 好不好 She was really hot, okay?
你到底怎么做到的 How the hell could you do that?
很簡單 我去租了把椅子 Simple. I rented the chair.
這只兔子本來就在這兒了 真巧 The bunny was here already. That was lucky.
直到聽見你把鑰匙插進門之前 我一直等著 I waited to do the dramatic swivel
做這個充滿戲劇性的轉身動作 until I heard your key enter the door.
那個廣告牌是怎么回事 巴尼 The billboard, Barney.
我必須這么做 現在你跟她之間沒戲了 I had to. Now that you have no shot with the girl,
才會意識到 你從來都不關心那座大樓 you'll realize you never cared about the building,
然后一切都會恢復原樣 and everything can go back to normal.
你錯了 我很關心 You're wrong. I do care.
我不會改變決定的 And I'm still quitting.
你還不明白嗎 泰德 Don't you get it, Ted?
無論如何 阿卡迪亞酒店都是要被拆毀的 We're tearing down The Arcadian either way.
這是一個愚蠢老舊 廢物典型 It's a stupid old piece-of-crap,
破敗不堪 毒蛇滋生的垃圾堆 run-down, snake-infested dump!
夠了 到底那里有沒有蛇 Okay, are there or aren't there snakes?!
誰說有蛇了 Who mentioned snakes?!
別大聲嚷嚷 And stop shouting!
你會把小棉尾巴嚇壞的 You're scaring Cottontail.
你還給這兔子起名字了 You named the rabbit?
誰讓你比我預期的還要晚回來 You took longer to get here than I thought,
我們已經結盟了 它跟我了 we bonded, I'm keeping her.
重點是 The point is,
機會來了 you now have a chance
一個全權歸你設計的大樓 to design your own building.
兄弟 你想怎么設計 就怎么設計 Dude, you can do whatever you want with it.
你說得對 You're right.
你說得對 我可以隨心所欲設計 You're right. I can design it however I want.
那你決定回來了嗎 So you're back in?
是的 Yeah.
那天晚上 我致力于重新設計 That night, as I worked on a new design
一個能解決我所有問題的方案 that just might solve all my problems...
而一個讓人不爽的幻想 悄悄地來訪馬修 ...Marshall was visited by a disturbing vision.
唉 他以為我好這口 Ugh, he thinks I like this...
但其實感覺很惡心 But it feels disgusting.
看起來就很惡心 好不好 Uh, it looks disgusting.
呃 Um...
這么做 你會有感覺嗎 Uh, is this working for you?
"這么做 你會有感覺嗎" "Uh, is this working for you?"
當然 Oh, of course,
因為女人最不喜歡 有某個巨物頂著她下體時 because what woman doesn't like being slobbered on
被口水淹沒了 while some giant paws at her nether regions
就像《人鼠之間》里面的藍尼一樣 like Lenny from Of Mice and Men?
[藍尼是《人鼠之間》里有著大得驚人的力氣的傻大個兒]
你真壞 Oh, you're bad.
我說得對吧 More Cosmos?
不行 我做不下去 I can't... I can't do this!
我總是忍不住去想你和羅賓 I can't stop thinking about you and Robin!
我也幻想過好幾次 Oh, I've had that a couple times.
好好享受 然后讓欲望裝滿你的裝備 Just lean into it and let it fuel things.
聽著 不是這樣的 Look, no. You know what?
你為什么 Why don't you just...
你為什么不索性打給羅賓算了 Why don't you just call Robin, okay,
然后把這過程當笑料 好好樂一下 and have a good laugh about it?
穿著我的襪子 就可以避免慘劇發生 Traction could have prevented that.
希望你不介意 我們在廣告牌上做了點小調整 Well, hope you don't mind, we made some changes to the billboard.
想找樂子 就打給泰德·莫斯比吧
這倒解釋了那幾封語音郵件是怎么回事 Well, that explains a few voicemails.
蘇伊 我相信我們可以拯救阿卡迪亞酒店 Listen, Zoey, I think we can save The Arcadian.
可能不是你設想的那種方式 No. Maybe not in the way you were picturing,
但我熬了一通宵 but I stayed up all night
設計了一個新方案 working on a new concept, all right?
如果我的設計可以把阿卡迪亞的外墻 What if my design could incorporate The Arcadian's facade
和新巨人銀行大樓融合在一起 into the new GNB headquarters?
孩子們 這是生命中難得的 Kids, it was one of those moments in life
事事順心的一刻 where everything comes together--
女人 建筑 所有東西 直到 the girl, the building,everything,until...
你結婚了嗎 Are you married?
你剛說外墻將會完全保存下來嗎 So you were saying, the facade will be completely preserved?
這跟辣妹沒關系 This isn't about the girl.
是為了建筑 It's about the building.
好吧 我承認就是為了辣妹 Yeah, it was about the girl.
泰德 你在干什么 Ted, wh-wh-what are you doing?
這辦法不行 This wouldn't work.
蘇伊 阿卡迪亞酒店曾經是一個偉大的建筑 Zoey, The Arcadian was a really great building once,
但現在已經搖搖欲墜 而且里面到處是蛇 but it's falling apart, and it's full of snakes.
-蛇 -謝謝 我不記得我有說過這個詞兒 - Snakes? - I don't recall saying snakes.thanks
然后他滿臉驚恐地說 Then he gets this panicked look on his face, says,
我做不到 然后沖出去了 "I can't do this," and storms out.
確實很奇怪 Wow, that is weird.
但接下來部分更瘋狂 But here's the crazier part.
不 你知道嗎 No. You know what?
爸比遇到挑戰 從不退縮 Papa don't back down from a fight.
所以你可以告訴羅賓 我有多勇猛 So why don't you tell Robin... about this!
太爽了 It was amazing.
熱情似火 野獸般勇猛 He was passionate, animalistic,
就像一只大種馬 a complete stud.
天啊 Wow.
他是不是就在你旁邊 逼你說這些呢 So he's right there making you say all this, huh?
是滴 他就像希臘諸神 Yup. "'You're like a Greek god,'
我呻吟著 就像 I moaned, as the..."
我看不見 寶貝 I can't read that, baby.
充滿男性氣息 "Musky scent of man."
充滿男性氣息 "As the musky scent of man
和馬修摩擦力絲光襪 讓我無比興奮 "and Marshall's sure-footed traction intoxicated
徹底征服了我 and overpowered me."
聽起來還挺真實 That sounds real.
至于蘇伊 還挺有趣 And as for Zoey, it was funny.
我不但騙了她 還讓她很失望 I'd lied to her, then completely let her down.
而且我壓根兒不了解她 And I barely knew the girl.
但她身上有種難以言說的特質 But there was something about her.
我不禁想道 我會不會再見到她 I couldn't help but wonder if I'd ever see her again.
喂 莫斯比 Hey, Mosby!
你遲早要從你的洞穴里趴出來的 You're gonna have to come out of your hole at some point,
你個混球 you son of a bitch!
對 Yeah!
大麻合法化 Legalize it!
老兄 Dude!
準備 Ready.
瞄準 Aim.
開火 Fire!
是的 我會再見到她 Why, yes. Yes I would see her again.
-你們好 -好啊 -好 - Hey. - Hey. - Hey.
你和羅賓怎么樣了 How's it going with Robin?
我得和她分手 Uh, I think I have to break up with her.
-真的嗎 -為什么 -你甩她啊 - Really? - Why? - You with her?
是啊 Yeah, well, there's this...
她在床上喜歡玩一種很奇怪的花樣 kind of weird thing she likes to do in the bedroom.
我覺得很不舒服 It just makes me uncomfortable.
明白 I get it.
對 確實不是每個人都能接受 Yeah, that is not for everyone.
什么不能接受 Hey, what's not for everyone?
伙計們 說嘛 是什么 Guys, come on. What is it?
拜托 老兄 Come on, bro.
更衣室里不談這個 This is a locker room.
我 I...
你認為會是什么呢 莫瑞 What do you think it was, Murray?