Liz 你听说了吗? Liz,did you hear?
对 你哥哥还好吧? Yeah,is your brother gonna be okay?
哦 不 不是那件事 Oh,no,not that.
一部关于janis joplin的新电影要开拍了 (摇滚乐史上最伟大的女性歌手之一) A new movie about janis joplin is going into production.
由sheinhdt环球影视制作 And sheinhdt-universal is making it.
我知道Jack可以帮我争取试镜的机会 I know jack can get me an audition.
我会扮成角色的摸样 以暴风速度的冲进他办公室 So i'm gonna storm into his office in character.
哦 liz 我就知道你会为我高兴的 Oh,liz,i knew you'd be happy for me.
有人睡意朦胧咯 Somebody's sleepy.
我确实是有点困啊 Iamsleepy.
我还有点兴奋 But m 30al rsooc sko cited.
嘿Max 这就是你的小妹妹? Hey,max,is this your baby sister?
哦 多可爱的女娃儿啊 Oh,what a cute little girl.
或者男娃儿 如果你长大才发现该是男生的话 Or boy if you grow up and feel that's what's inside you.
天啊 Liz 瞧瞧我们的生物钟 Omg,liz. Look at you and me and our biological clocks.
你超爱小孩子 而车祸会让我性饥渴 You're going baby crazy and i keep getting turned on by car accidents.
我没喜欢小孩子 Jenna I'm not baby crazy,jenna.
领养孩子的事让我没法忘记 This whole adoption thing is just taking a lot longer than i thought.
你这只小鞋子哪儿来的? Where did you get that little shoe?
既然是地上捡的就不算是偷的吧 It isn't stealing if it fell on the ground.
那么 情况就是这样了 Elisa So,uh,that's the tour, elisa.
我想你会觉得做我老妈的护士有得有失 I think you'll find being my mother's nurse a mixed bag.
一旦她闹情绪 那可真是要了命的 When she's in a foul mood, in can be horribly unpleasant.
但是其他时间里 她都在 睡觉 But at other times, she is... Asleep.
我明白 照顾老人就是有压力的 I understand. Elder care can be stressful.
尤其当监护对象还会半夜起来 穿着短裤瞎逛 Uh,especially when the object of that care wanders around at night in depression-era petty pants.
你是没见过我祖母晚年时候的样子啊 You should've seen my grandmother in her later years.
你知道波多黎各老婆子 在屋里穿什么衣服吗? Do you know what kind of clothes old puerto rican ladies wear around the house?
- 不知道 - 我也不知道 因为她根本不穿 - No. - Me neither 'cause she never wore any.
但血浓于水 But family is family.
而且你是个孝子 And you're a good son.
嗯 我为老妈尽一切孝心 Well,i do what i can for my mother.
Jack 来人给我擦干身子 Jack,somebody's gotta dry me off.
他刚走了 Donaghy夫人 He just left,mrs. Donaghy.
我来帮你 I'm coming to help you.
Tracy 我和你的朋友们都担心你 Tracy,your friends and i are concerned about you.
我们觉得你的开支有点失控 We think your spending has gotten out of control.
举个例子听听 Give me an example.
你买下了NBC黄金时段3小时广告 只为了向benny hill致敬 Well,you bought three hours of network primetime for your salute to benny hill.
benny hill节目的著名桥段: 饥渴男人追美女
Jack 你不明白 Jack,you don't get it.
我也不想花 但迫不得已 I don't want to spend so much. I have to.
趁我有钱 Angie会离婚拿走我一半财产 I'm afraid angie will divorce me if i ever have enough money for her to live off of half.
所以在发生之前 我要这些钱都花到无用的东西上 So before she can get, i have to spend it all on useless things
比如买金鞋 无用的Grizz和Dotcom like gold shoes and grizz and dotcom.
她不会分到你一半的钱的Tracy Well,she's not gonna get half your money,tracy.
你的婚前协议怎么说的? What does your pre-nup say?
我根本没签婚前协议! I don't got a pre-nup!
当Angie嫁给我的时候 我唯一的资产就是一个烤炉 When angie and i got married, my only assets were a toaster oven
还有两张MC Hammer演唱会门票 and two tickets to a young mc concert.
你需要受保护 You need to be protected.
咱们把angie叫来 我们来谈谈一些事 Let's bring angie in here. We'll think of something.
你可以弄份离婚协议 A post-nup,if you will.
只要能让你安稳 Something that will bring you peace of mind.
好吧 我叫angie 过来 Okay. I'll bring angie in.
但我要告诉她 这可是你的主意 But i'm gonna tell her this is all your idea.
别帮我 我自尊心强着呢 don't help me. I'm too proud.
- 嘿 小子! - 呣 抱歉 - Hiya,bunny! - Uh,excuse me.
你好 朋友 Hello,there.
你刚是摸了我的头吗? Did you just touch my head?
嗯 我试着引起你的注意嘛 Well... I had to do something to get your attention.
好吧 你得逞了 Okay,you've got it.
没错 我喜欢你的领带 Yeah,i do. I like your tie.
我喜欢主动出击的女书呆子 And i li aggressive women with a nerdy vibe.
不如我们去喝杯咖啡 深入探讨一下? How about we grab some coffee and explore this?
好啊 Yeah.
搞什么啊? What?
你好 jack! 是我 janis joplin! Howdy,jack! It's me,janis joplin!
我很想试镜出演sheinhardt环球影视 制作的本人自传电影 And i want to audition for my sheinhardt-universal biopic so bad
所以我扮成自己的摸样跑来这儿 that i came here dressed as me.
实际上 这是真我本色 我穿日常装罢了 Actually,i am me so,well,i dressed normal.
但是我的朋友Jenna 她才是我的候补 But my friend, jenna she should be my understudy.
我的意思是 应该由她来演我 I mean,she should audition for me.
我现在是我本人 But i'm me now actually.
虽然演的一塌糊涂 不过我喜欢这主意 Ongoing train wreck aside, i love this idea.
- 联合营销 - 太好了 - It's great synergy. - Yeah.
让公司电视演员参演本公司电影 我们是一箭双雕 By putting a tv actress into the movie world we can promote both.
就像我们将"英雄"DVD和导弹制导系统 搭配销售一样 It's like we're including aheroesdvd with missile guidance system we sell.
- 我打电话给制片部门 - 好极! - I'll call the studio. - Yes!
我真高兴自己从1969穿梭而来 I'm so glad that i time-traveled here from 1969.
哇 那个铁鸟是什么啊? Whoa,what is that iron bird?
- 60年代也有飞机的 Jenna - 哦 没错 - They had airplanes in the '60s,jenna. - Oh,right.
天哪 我觉得我一刻没停地说啊说的 Boy,i feel like i've just been talking nonstop.
不 你还吃了不少 No,you also ate quite a bit.
是我不该这么好奇 想知道你工作的情况 It's my fault for wanting to hear all about your job.
这比联合国的工作要有趣多了 It's just so much more interesting than the u. N.
哦 得了 真的吗? Oh,come on,really?
你们那儿的人讲不同语言 着不同服装 You got all the different languages and the costumes.
还有那么大的会议厅 And that big meeting room.
就好像星球大战里的银河参议院 It must be like working in the galactic senate instar wars.
确实很像 They are similar.
我们也对西斯大帝势力的膨胀感到忧虑 We are also very concerned about the growing influence of the sith lords.
你这周有空一起吃个晚饭吗? Are you free for dinner some night this week?
当然 我很愿意 主意不错 Yeah,sure,i'd love it. Sounds great.
那是谁啊? Who was that?
我遇见的某人 A guy that i met.
这也关乎你的母爱泛滥的事? Is this part of your mommy thing?
我们遇到了才知闹乌龙了 我摸他的头 还以为他是个孩子 Only in so far as we met because i touched his head thinking he was a child.
哦 liz Oh,liz.
我喜欢他 他很聪明很幽默 他还有正当工作 I like him. He's smart. He's funny. He's got a job.
你知道吗? 我会搞砸了的 But you know what? I'm gonna screw this up.
我总是将好事搞砸 这次会像走雷区 I always find a way to screw good things up, and this one is a mine field.
我说过我以为他是小孩 我们才认识的吗? Did i mention that we met because i thought he was a baby?
他不必知道 He doesn't have to know that.
不能让他知道 He can't know that.
万一我说了蠢话怎么办 比如点高脚杯咖啡或者谈我的任天堂Wii? But what if i say something stupid like order a tall coffee or talk about my nintendo wii?
Wii与wee(很小)同音 另外许多 小孩子玩Wii 提起Wii等于暗示他是侏儒
Liz 你喜欢这个男人 你是个成年人了 Liz,you like this guy. You're a grown woman.
学学janis这本书里讲的 多多自制 (Janis Joplin有毒瘾和酒瘾) Take a lesson from janis and show some self-control.
这本传记你读了多少了? How far into that biography are you?
没读多少 为什么这么问? 有什么问题? Not very. Why? What happens?
恕我直话直说 So let me get this straight.
一旦我签了这个玩意儿 Tracy决定跟电影"发胶"里的胖女人跑路 If i sign this and then tracy decides to run ay with that chunky chick fromhairspray--
或者其他体重相当的女性 Or any female of equivalent thickness.
那么我将得到8,500美元? Then i get $8,500?
没错 That's correct.
我还操心个什么劲呢? What do i care?
我签你这份混账协议 I'll sign your stupid contract.
- 永远不会离开这个男人 - 真的? - Never gonna leave this man anyway. - You're not?
宝贝 我会伴你一生 Baby. I'm gonna be with you to the very end.
看着你离开人世 Tracy jordan I'm gonna watch you die, tracy jordan.
她以前就真做过 Jack 算了! She's done it before,jack. Forget it!
我知道你不会离开我的 I know you're not gonna leave me.
有人会守护着我离世! I got somebody who's gonna watch me die!
Tracy 咱们别激动 Tracy,let's not get emotional.
我们控制不住了 Jack This is happening,jack.
你要走要留 请便 接下来会持续很久 You could stay or you could leave, but it's gonna take a while.
哦 好棒! Oh,yeah!
呣 liz jenna在我制作的 janis joplin的传记电影出演主角 Uh,liz,jenna got the lead in the janis joplin biopic that i'm co-producing.
我希望她在下次节目的出场时 能唱唱那电影的主题曲 And i want her to open the next show with a song from the movie.
哦 得了 jack aw,come on,jack.
不要反对联合营销 lemon 这比所有人都重要 You can't fight synergy,lemon. It's bigger than all of us.
裙子不错 要出去吃饭? 别忘了你的书 Nice dress. Are you going to dinner? Don't forget your book.
我要告诉你 我和男人共进晚餐 I'll have you know that i'm having dinner with a man.
那么 stuart 住在桥下是种什么感觉? So stuart, what is it like living under a bridge?
Kenneth! Kenneth!
嘿 liz 我刚说我在威廉伯格新买的公寓 Hey,liz. I was just telling him abt my new apartment in williamsburg...
在桥下 Under the bridge.
联合国? 他们还存在? The u.n.? They still have that?
我还以为他们把那座楼变成了书店 I could've sworn they turned that building into a barnes and noble.
像你们这种美国大企业就做得好了? Like you guys in corporate america are doing any better?
你们知道怎么用中文说 "要不要配份薯条"吗? Have you learned how to say "do you want fries with that" in chinese?
Jack donaghy 电视和微波炉部高级副总裁 Jack donaghy, ser vp for television and microwave oven programming.
Stuart lagrange 联合国水温和食物污染高级专员 Stuart lagrange, u.n.high commission on water temperature and food taint.
你跟lemon怎么认识的? And how did you and lemon meet?
liz在街上看到我 就跟我搭讪 Uh,liz here just saw me on the street and went for it.
- Lemon真这么做了? - 没错 你了解我的 - Lemon did that? - Yeah. You know me.
在午餐时间到第六大道到处溜达 找找"热菜" Spend my lunch hour walkinup and down 6th aven looking for a hot meal.
好吧 典型的lemon式"食男兽" Okay. Classic lemon man-eater.
配猫的声音 Cat sound.
- 很高兴见到你 jack - 没错 - Well,nice to meet you,jack. - Yeah.
他在这儿! 我欠你个人情 jackie d There he is! I owe you,jackie d.
当我垂死时 舌吻我床边的娇妻 我会想起你的 When i'm on my death bed, frenching my wife, i will think of you.
还是别了 Please don't.
不 不 别再来了 No,no. Not again.
这是来真的! 不是演习! 来吧! 耶! This is real,people! This is not a drill! Let's go! Yeah!
Tracy 我的背! 哦 宝贝 你弄疼我的背了 Tracy,my back! Ooh,baby, hurt my back.
我只想告诉你们我准备进军电影界了 I just want you all to know as i prepare to venture into moviedom,
一个好演员要担得起他的盛誉-- That an actor is only as good as the words--
哦 播我的新闻了 大家安静 通通闭嘴 oh,my thing is on.Everyone shut up. Shut your mouths.
关于新拍janis joplin传记电影的新闻 Breaking news now about a new janis joplin biopic.
- 茱莉亚.罗伯茨答应出演悲剧色彩的歌手 - 什么? - Julia roberts has agreed to play the tragic singer... - What?
影片由martin scorse执导 由世上最佳编剧来编写剧本 谁管他是谁 In a film directed by martin scorse and written by the best screenwriter in the world, whoever that is.
消息对于参与竞争的 moroney 和斯蒂文.斯皮尔伯鸽来说是个大冲击 The announcement is a huge blow to a competing project from jenna moroney and steven spielberger.
没错 是斯皮尔伯鸽 That's right. Spielberger.
这是刮风天的moroney Here's moroney on a windy day.
别关了啊 Moroney小姐 Don't turn it off, ms. Moroney.
他们可没播报好消息啊 They haven't shown that good news you were telling us about.
因为那些电视新闻看着都不是啥好事儿 'Cause that all seemed like really bad news.
现在是7:00 It's 7:00.
为什么我没听见老妈冲着"冒险猜题" 节目的亚洲选手喊着 "滚回去? Why don't i hear my mother yelling "go home" to the asian contestant onjeopardy?
- 因为她睡着了 - 真的? - 'Cause she's asleep. - Really?
你怎么做到的? How did you do that?
她一开始也放抗 但我发现 快语速权威性西班牙语能压制住白人 She fought me at first, but i find that authoritative rapid spanish subdues white people.
我晚上出去一下 Well,i'm heading out for the evening.
哦 我差点忘了 Oh,i forgot.
有人把那个留下来给你 Somebody dropped that off for you earlier.
哦 天啊 Oh,good god.
哦 金鞋啊 Oh,gold shoes.
我的侄子加入海军陆战队来赚学费 但是这个更好笑 My nephew just joined the marines to try to pay for college, but that's fun.
不 不 这是tracy jordan的 No,no, they're from tracy jordan.
我本想让他和他老婆签一份婚姻协议 I tried to get him and his wife to sign a pre-nup,
但是却引发了一场相爱一生的宣誓 很荒唐 But all that led to were pledges of everlasting love and devotion. Was ridiculous.
爱有什么荒唐的? What's ridiculous about love?
把你的后半生寄托在一个人身上 这是不理智的 Well,the idea of depending on one person for the rest of your live is irrational.
你孤单的出生 孤单的离开 You come in alone, you go out alone.
这是我听过的最让人难过的事 That's the saddest thing i ever heard.
实际上 没什么好难过的 There's nothing sad about it at all,actually.
我活得很好 I have a great life.
今晚我要和福克斯新闻台的记者约会 Tonight i'm going out with a fox news correspondent.
我们一起吃吃晚饭 说说笑话 做做爱 We'll have some dinner, some laughs,some sex.
也可能不是这个顺序 Not necessarily in that order.
但我不会寻思着要把下半生交给她的 But i'm not counting on spending the rest of my life with her.
你的计划是什么呢? So what's your plan?
变老 孤单地死去 死在这空荡荡的房间里 伴着你的金鞋? Get old,die alone in an empty room with your gold shoes?
这种事会发生在我们大多数人身上 至少我有心理准备 That's what happens to most of us. At least i'm prepared.
我不能透露太多 不过 我的解决方案是一台麦当劳冰淇淋机 Without getting into specifics, my exit involves a mcflurry machine
以及国外情色广告录像带 And a video tape of risque commercials from overseas.
好吧 我对你无话可说了 Well,i don't even know what to say to that.
不过在波多黎各 麦当劳冰淇淋机 称作冰风先生 Except that in puerto rico, a mcflurry,it's called asenor flurry.
那人会百豆圈 就像是印度的甜甜圈 太好吃了 This guy makes badhushas. They're like an indian donut. They're amazing.
小心 伙计 很烫! Careful,buddy,it's hot!
难道你怕我烧着了 想提起我? Are you trying to pick me up to keep me from touching fire?
- 吻我 - 等一等 - Kiss me. - Wait a minute.
你第一次见我时 是误以为我是个孩子? When you first met me, did you think i was a child?
- 没错 是的 先生 - 难以置信 - Yes,i did,sir. - Unbelievable.
早知道我该听朋友的忠告 I knew i should've listened r octok my friends.
Kofi就说你好得不真实 Kofi said you were too good to be true.
纳克克克让我等三天再约你 told me to wait three days before i called you.
我却不听 And yet here we are.
你到底有没想过 今晚要更进一步? Was anything even going to happen between us tonight?
没 但这不是因为你的身高 No. But not because of your size.
是我有亲密恐惧症 It's because i have a thing about intimacy.
我才是奇怪的那个 比你更怪 I'm the weird one. I'm weirder than you.
- 我怎么怪了? - 你不怪 - ****** - You're not.
- 是口误 - 你说了 - That came out wrong. - You came out wrong.
噢 关于你的节目 我撒谎了 我看过 Oh,and i lied about your show. I have seen it.
过马路小 Be careful crossing the-- substitutions.
这位女士要点试吃菜 the lady will be having the tasting menu but with some *****
另外一切都不要 只给她一杯有鸡骨头的热水 Instead of any of it, she'll have a cup of hot water with a chicken bone in it
还有一碗咸冰块 and a bowl of salted ice cubes.
先生 毛巾? A towel,sir?
我下面长了个东西 I have something on my ball.
薄荷? Mint?
- 早上好 - 大家早 - Good morning. - Morning,everyone.
你好吗? 你看上去很苍白 Are you all right? You look very pale.
我很好 I'm fine.
昨晚 很好的睡了一小时 洗了几个澡 I had a good hour of sleep last night, took a few showers.
有什么想跟我说的吗? There anything you want to talk about?
- 我是护士 - 没什么 - I am a nurse. - It's nothing.
很尴尬的事 It's embarrassing.
比你的CD收藏还尴尬? More embarrassing than your cd collection?
我从不知道Michael Buble出过这么多专辑 (加拿大温情歌手) I didn't know michael buble had so many albums.
如果你非要知道 我长了个肿块 If you must know, i found a lump.
睾丸上?让我看 On your testicle? Let me see it.
谢谢 不用了 我可以搞定 No,thank you. I think i have it under control.
什么? 你说太快了 What? You're talking so fast.
这是一个虚拟语态? Is that the subjunctive?
你怎么做到的? How did you do
我说了 我很专业的 i told you i was a professional.
并且 你忘穿内裤了 And you forgot to put on your underpants.
呃 今晚有安排吗? So,uh,any big plans for your day off?
去"展望公园" I'm going to prospect park.
参加我干女儿的成人仪式 It's my goddaughter's quincenera.
噢 有点像你们的成年 舞会 ("舞会"和口语的睾丸同词) Oh,it'sind of like a debutante... Ball.
你故意的 You did that on purpose.
是的 I did.
是长了个东西 Well,there is something there.
也可能是好多东西 Could be a number of things.
你应该去医生那检查一下 You should get it checked out by a doctor.
谢谢你告诉我些 我早就知道的事 Thank you for telling me what i already know.
你应该为Huffington邮报网工作 You should work forthe huffington post.
抱歉啊 I'm sorry.
我想你一定有朋友家人 可以叫到 I'm sure you have friends or family you can call.
我很好 I'm fine.
噢 拜托 别再演什么单身先生了 Oh,please. Don't try to besenor macho solo.
我们称其为"排骨三明治" Which is actually what we call a mcrib sandwich.
我很好 我可以一个人 就搞定 I'm fine. I'm handling this... All alone.
Jack 那个茱莉亚罗伯茨的电影 我们怎么办? Jack,what are we doing about this julia roberts movie?
她还没过气? 拜托 都多少年了! Aren't people over her? I mean,come on!
Jenna 你和我一样单身 Jenna,you're single like me.
你觉得我们需要一个灵魂伴侣 携手共老吗? Do you think we need some mythical soul mate to hold our hand through life?
什么 你想结婚? 我愿嫁? Why,do you want to get married? I'll do it?
- 什么? - 什么? - What? - What?
呃 没什么 忘了它 你的电影会成功的 Uh,no. Uh,never mind. The movie's gonna work out fine.
我们就快拿到Janis Joplin的版权了 We're very close to securing janis joplin's life rights.
就快? 我等着周五就唱她的歌啊 Close? I'm supposed to sing one of her songs friday night.
至少我们有播她音乐的权利吧? Do we at least have the music rights?
是也不是 Jenna 是的 我还在说话 Uh,yes and no,jenna. Yes,i'm talking.
不是 我们没有那权利 但我正在努力 会有的 No,we do not have the music. But i'm on it. It's all gonna be fine.
- 喂 - Stuart 是我 - Hello. - Stuart,it's me.
听着 Liz 我现在很忙 Look,liz, i'm really busy right now.
我只想为昨晚的事道歉 I just wanted to apologize for the other night.
但你也没给我机会解释 But i didn't get a chance to explain myself.
我最近 有点小孩痴迷症 I'm... Kind of baby crazy 30 rock of late.
社交障碍加痴迷小孩 Socially inept and baby crazy.
听着像在做啤酒广告啊 I feel like i'm in a beer commercial.
好啦 我知道了 我是个麻烦的主 但我真的喜欢你 Yeah,i get it. I'm a piece of work. But i really like you.
如果你再给我一次机会 我们也许会有发展 And if you gave me another chance, maybe this could be something.
Liz 在我的生活里 "也许"是远远不够的 Liz,at this point in my life, maybe just isn't good enough.
好吧 我有个主意 Okay,here's a thought.
你看过"欲望都市"电影版吗? Did you see thesex in the citymovie?
再说一遍 Liz 我是个成年人 Once again,liz, i am an adult man.
Miranda和Steve感情出现危机 因为Steve有外遇 Okay,well miranda and steve were having issues because steve cheated--
噢 真无聊 oh,so bored.
我想说的是 他们决定分开一阵 The point is they decided to take a break
然后在某个时间 到布鲁克林大桥上见 and then meet up at the brooklyn bridge at such and such a time
如果双方都还想继续在一起的话 If they wanted to stay together.
也许我们可以借鉴下 Maybe we could do the same thing.
布鲁克林大桥 这周六下午2点 Brooklyn bridge, this saturday,2:00 p.m.
好吧 Okay.
但不管什么原因 我们没有在那相遇 你自己保重 Liz Lemon But for whatever reason, if i don't see you there, take care,liz lemon.
你也是 对了 你能帮我转到意大利大使办公室吗? You too. Oh,and can you transfer me to the italian ambassador's office?
我想搞电话恶作剧 Because i lika to maka prank phone call.
别挂机 Please hold.
Jack 你来这干吗? jack. What are you doing here?
我想过来谢谢你的帮助 I wanted to come by and thank you for all your help.
我不知道你们这有什么 就带了65年的香槟和批萨味品客薯片 I wasn't sure what you were serving, so i brought a '65 moet and some pizza-blasted pringles.
真是周到 That was very thoughtful.
我为我那天的鲁莽道歉 I'm sorry if i was rude the other day.
噢 你没有鲁莽 只是愚蠢而已 Oh,you were not being rude. You were just being stupid.
你去看过医生了吗? Did you go to the doctor?
做了活检 在等结果 I had a biopsy, and i'm waiting for the results.
- 我能搞定 - 嗯好 我很高兴 - So i'm handling it. - Good. I'm glad.
很好 这个给你 Excellent. So,uh,here you go.
谢谢 Thank you.
Jack 你想留下来一起玩玩? Jack,would you like to stay?
噢 我不想打扰到你们 Oh,i don't want to impose.
- 哪儿的话 - 噢 谢谢 - Oh,come on. - Oh,thank you.
Okay 十分感谢 Okay. Oh,thank you so much.
他们都是你家人? All of these people are your family?
为什么他们都满脸堆笑? 谁被流放了吗? Why are they smiling so much? Who's being ostracized?
各位 这是我朋友Jack Everybody,this is my friend jack.
友好些 他裆部长东西了 ***********
他对此很敏感的 ****************
但他带来了好酒! *********
关于Stuart的事 我需要你的建议 I need to ask your advice about stuart.
我们决定 如果还想继续 就到布鲁克林大桥见 We decided to do this whole meet me at the brooklyn bridge
就像"欲望都市"电影里那样 If we still want to be together thing from thesex in the city movie.
很多电影里都这样 They do that a lot in movies.
"难忘的时刻", "西雅图夜未眠" An affair to rember, sleepless in seattle,
还有我演的新版"难忘的时刻"-- and that remake of an affair to rember that i was in,
"难忘的黑人情缘" a blaffair to rememblack.
我不知道该怎么办 I just don't know what to do.
有件事是你不该做的--孤身一人 Here's what you don't do. Be alone.
我们从不应该单身 Lemon We were never meant to be alone,lemon.
置身于人群和爱 还有穿耳洞的婴儿之中 Surround yourself with people and love and babies with pierced ears.
你这是怎么了? What is wrong with you?
我经历了疯狂的48小时 I've had a crazy 48 hours.
一切从我以为自己死期将至开始 It all started when i realized i'm probably dying.
我发现睾丸上长了个东西 You see,i have this thing on my testicle.
- 呃 天哪 - 不 没事了 一切都已过去 没事了 - Ew,my god. - No,no,it's okay. Whatever happens, it's okay.
我不想孤独终老 现在我也不会了 I don't want to die alone and now i don't have to because...
我爱上了我母亲的护士 I'm in love with my mother's nurse.
那你跟我和Angie一样 不过你没高血压的办法了 Now you have what me and angie have, minus the hypertension.
Jack 慢着 你看过医生了吗? Jack,slow down. Have you been to a doctor?
我在等活检结果 我们一起野餐 i'm waiting for the results of a biopsy. We went to this picnic.
Lemon 你吃过波多黎各水果刨冰吗? Lemon,have you ever had apiragua?
就像冰锥一样 只是他们叫波多黎各水果刨冰 It's exactly like a snow cone except they call it apiragua.
是我医生的电话 你来接 It's my doctor's office. You take it.
不 Jack No,jack.
我来接 I'll do it
喂 是的 好 谢谢 hello?Yes. Okay. Thank you.
检验结果是乐观(阳性的, 双重理解) The test was positive.
不不不--我说阳性 是好的意思 No,no,no,no-- i mean positive like it's good.
检验结果是阴性 The test results were negative.
噢 你们糊涂了吧 Oh,i see your confusion.
真好玩! That is funny!
有意思! Funny!
Jack以为检验结果是阳性! Jack thought the test results was positive!
超音速的白痴 脱线不被尊重 Supersonic idiotic disconnected not respected
有谁想要尝试 成为真正白痴 大白痴 who would ever really want to go and top that top that
谢谢 这首说唱来自电影"青年女巫" thank you. That was the rap songtop that from the movieteen witch.
再次道歉 我们的常规暖场演员 在一同性恋家里嗑药过量 Once again,i apologize that our regular warm-up comic o.d.ed at a gay man's apartment this morning.
还有30秒 30 seconds.
我决定明天去大桥 I've decid to go to the bridge tomorrow.
你鼓舞了我 You've inspired me.
如果这段经历并没改变我呢? What if this experience hasn't changed me?
也许我对Elisa的感情 只是源于渴求和恐惧 Maybe everything i was feeling for elisa was just neediness and fear.
我是说 两个人的爱情可以 因生殖器囊肿而开始吗? I mean,can two people fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?
为什么不? 这和起因无关 重要的是结局如何 Why not? It's not about where things start. It's about where it goes.
Tracy说的 他这方面很有建树的样子 Tracy told me that. He's kind of on a roll.
女士们先生们 Janet Jopler小姐! Ladies and gentlemen, miss janet jopler!
谁? Who?
在拿到版权之前 我们得保护自己 Until we get the life rights, we have to protect ourselves.
我要你快一点快一点再快一点 I'd like you to come on come on come on
来拿走它 拿走我的肺 先生 and take it take another little chunk of my lung now,Mister
我们也没拿到播放音乐的权利 这首歌我5分钟前自己写的 also,we didn't get the songs. I wrote this myself five minutes ago.
你知道你买下来 便可享用美味 You know you bought it if life makes you sweet food
这句我喜欢 now this i like.
- 在等人? - 什么? - Waiting for someone? - What?
你想干嘛? What do you think you're doing?
噢 对不起啊!我认错人了 Oh,i'm so sorry! I thought he was someone else.
Liz Liz.
算了吧! Shut it down!