1 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:11,260 [Cell phones chiming, beeping] 2 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:18,101 [Upbeat dance music] 3 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:25,108 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,651 - Race war! 5 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:30,613 It's a goddamn race war! 6 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,741 [Gunshots] 7 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,159 [Indistinct shouting] 8 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,413 [Car alarm wails] 9 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,248 - Flash mob- flash mob canceled. 10 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,874 The flash mob is canceled. 11 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,877 [Soul music] 12 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:53,010 ♪ ♪ 13 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:06,023 [cheers and applause] 14 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,737 - Oh, my goodness. Thank you. 15 00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:14,240 Thank you. 16 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,491 That's plenty. 17 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,909 - Thank you so much for coming out. 18 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,661 Welcome to the show. I am Keegan. 19 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,329 - I am Jordan. - And this is Key & Peele. 20 00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:24,375 - Yep. - Thank you for coming. 21 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:28,337 - And we have had a fantastic time on our first season. 22 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:30,506 The first season of Key & Peele, our brand- 23 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:33,509 Mm-hmm, nope. 24 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,137 And, uh, this is happening, okay. 25 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,014 - Yep, just destroyed all the muscles 26 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,474 in this pectoral area. 27 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,142 - Nope, did not. - Yes, I did. 28 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,643 - Actually did not do that. 29 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,020 He plays these games while we're trying 30 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,646 to actually get something done. 31 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,649 Can't acknowledge it. 32 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,359 Don't know. 33 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:51,861 - I don't even understand how he's still talking. 34 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,404 I just paralyzed him with my kung fu fingers, 35 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,989 so I don't know how he's speaking. 36 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,117 - I am talking, so clearly wasn't paralyzed. 37 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,453 Doesn't hurt, doesn't-yeah. 38 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,205 - Right there. - Nope, didn't do anything. 39 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,998 - His eye's going to pop out of his head right now, so- 40 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,541 - You want to ignore this. - Pressure points. 41 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,001 - If you ignore it, it will stop eventually. 42 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,419 Really, you can't sink to his level. 43 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,171 That's the main key. 44 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:14,175 You can't- you can't cave in, 45 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,928 because after a while- 46 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,513 after a while, he's just going to- 47 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,266 You know, the best thing to do- 48 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,227 Sometimes you just gotta walk away. 49 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,437 And your scrotum exploded. 50 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:30,650 - Oh! Oh-ho-ho! [Cheers and applause] 51 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,070 - [Laughing] Coolio, man. 52 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,780 Oh, yeah, "soitainly." 53 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,865 Oh, hey, I gotta go. 54 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,450 Yeah, Terry out. 55 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,993 - Terry, how you doing, man? 56 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,245 - Hey, pretty good, Gabe. 57 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,330 Oh, got something on your shirt. 58 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,458 - Not today, Terry. 59 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:54,632 - Looks like Gabe's come out to play. 60 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,259 You do have something on your shirt though. 61 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,261 - No, I don't. - Yeah, you kind of do. 62 00:02:58,387 --> 00:02:59,929 - No, I'm pretty sure I don't. - Got a clean shirt at my desk 63 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,264 if you want me to get it for you. 64 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:02,890 - Don't see why that would be necessary. 65 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,308 - Really? Because the shirt you have on right now, 66 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,893 it's not clean. - Except for that it is. 67 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,436 - Me, I have a clean shirt. - Oh. 68 00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,355 - You, you have some schmutz on your jammy-jam. 69 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:13,317 - No, there is no schmutz on my jammy-jam. 70 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,820 - You know what? Why don't I just get it for you? 71 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,114 - Yeah, why don't you do that? - Yeah. 72 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,908 - [Clears throat] 73 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,952 - And there we go. 74 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,453 - Did you get it? 75 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:29,166 - [Laughing] 76 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,335 I almost got you. - Yeah. 77 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,713 - I was that close. - Almost, yeah. 78 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,048 - I mean, I'm thinking, "Damn, he's good." 79 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,675 [Both laughing] 80 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,926 But you know what the funny thing is? 81 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,177 - What's that? 82 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,221 - Now I guess from when I dabbed 83 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,973 your shirt with the paper towel, 84 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,183 and I'm not playing the game right now, 85 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,227 but I actually-I must have got some paper-towel fuzz 86 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,563 on your shirt, so- 87 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,566 [dramatic music] 88 00:03:53,692 --> 00:04:00,698 ♪ ♪ 89 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,870 - Hey, how long has Karen been wearing her hair up like that? 90 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,805 [Dramatic music] 91 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:30,811 ♪ ♪ 92 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,396 - Shh. 93 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,418 I don't want you to have to go through that. 94 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,295 And I'm sorry it happened. 95 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,130 - Hey, Terry, what's going on? 96 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,634 - Uh, nothing. - Having a good morning? 97 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,135 - Ye- - I'm having a fuckin' 98 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,054 terrific morning. 99 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,098 - Great. 100 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,599 - Hope there's nothing on my shirt. 101 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:12,061 'Cause I can't look down. 102 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:16,399 - Oh, no, dude, we're not doing that right now, okay? 103 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,733 There's nothing on your shirt. 104 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,151 No one cares about your shirt. 105 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,445 Everything's not about you. 106 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,364 I'm trying to have a conversation 107 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,324 with Karen right now, so- 108 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,292 - You okay, Terry? - It just pisses me off. 109 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,928 [Cell phone vibrates] 110 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,104 [Dramatic music] 111 00:05:55,230 --> 00:06:01,569 ♪ ♪ 112 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,530 - [screams] 113 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,827 I got it. I got it. 114 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,580 There's no way you're gonna do it right now. 115 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,041 Oh, yeah, yeah, I do have schmutz. 116 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,710 There's schmutz all over me now. 117 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,211 He can't deny that. 118 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,838 Terry's not going to know what hit him. 119 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,466 [Laughs] I will win! I win! 120 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,469 [Dramatic music] 121 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:34,602 ♪ ♪ 122 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,691 What- what happened? 123 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,277 - Terry died. 124 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:51,410 ♪ ♪ 125 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,839 - Be right back. 126 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,097 Hey, Terry. 127 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:14,391 It's Gabe. 128 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:19,146 I, um, just wanted to let you know that, um, 129 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,110 that you didn't get me, Terry. 130 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,611 You didn't get me, 131 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,363 because on the day that you died, 132 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,116 there was schmutz on my shirt. 133 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,201 So guess who wins the game, Terry. 134 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,538 I do. I win. [Laughing] 135 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,581 You lose! 136 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:38,791 Aah! 137 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,794 [Dramatic music] 138 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:49,927 ♪ ♪ 139 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:57,143 [crying] Oh, Terry. 140 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,353 He flicked me. 141 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:10,030 - You ever not tell somebody that you haven't seen a film 142 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,699 because of how they react 143 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,325 when they find out you haven't seen it? 144 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,702 - Yes, yes. - Yeah. 145 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,287 You know what I'm talking about. 146 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,289 - I've done it. - Yeah. 147 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,915 People completely flip out, 148 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,418 and they freak out and everything about the movie. 149 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,794 - Dude, you do it. - It's like, it's just a movie. 150 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,337 - You do it. - I don't do it. 151 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,881 - You've done it to me. - When have I done it? 152 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,632 - The Wiz. 153 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,135 - How have you not seen The Wiz? 154 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,511 - This is what I'm talking about, by the way. 155 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,388 - How haven't you seen The Wiz? 156 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,056 Everybody has seen The Wiz. 157 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,517 - I haven't seen it. Why do I have to see that? 158 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,686 - Why? Because you are black. 159 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,479 - Okay. 160 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,565 - You see, there's five movies you have to see. 161 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,984 It's very simple, Jordan, they're all one-word titles- 162 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,071 Shaft, Wiz, Friday, Juice, and Roots. 163 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,407 [Laughter] 164 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,994 [Cheers and applause] 165 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,081 - Isn't Roots, like, ten hours long? 166 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,791 - No, you didn't- no, you're telling me 167 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,294 you haven't seen Roots. 168 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,130 - Dude, this is what I'm talking about. 169 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,261 [Dance music] 170 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,889 ♪ ♪ 171 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,808 Oop, uh, 'scuse, pardon me. 172 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,395 - Hey, player. - How you doing, man? 173 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,439 - Hey, can I make a request? - For sure, man. 174 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,399 What are you looking for? - Hey, man. 175 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,693 Hook a brother up with some old school. 176 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,153 - Oh, yeah, all right, word. 177 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,364 Okay, what you looking for- Biggie, Tupac? 178 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,491 - Biggie, Tupac? 179 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,451 Come on, man, that's too new. 180 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,079 I'm talking about that old school, man. 181 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,705 You know what I'm talking about. 182 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,124 - I thought I did, man, but, like, uh, Wu-Tang Clan? 183 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,293 - Pshh. Wu-Tang Clan? 184 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,879 Come on, man, those fools just came out. 185 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,465 Hook a brother up with some of that old school. 186 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,386 - Okay, I don't know what you looking for, man. N.W. A? 187 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:58,305 - N.W. A? 188 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,392 Come on, man, what do I look like, a kid out there? 189 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,395 Talking about the N.W.A., fo' shizzle, my nizzle, 190 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,647 criss-cross, applesauce, Who's the Boss? 191 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,315 Tony Danza at a loss. 192 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,025 I don't know it, all right? 193 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,444 I'm talking about that old school. 194 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,154 - Okay, you know what? 195 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,698 That's my bad, old man, all right? 196 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,408 We gonna take it back, all right? 197 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,118 I'm gonna bust out some Run-DMC for you right now. 198 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,412 - Run-DMC? 199 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,290 [Snickering] 200 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:30,087 Come on, man, I don't know about none of this Run-DMC, 201 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,381 wouldn't want to be a, onomatopoeia, 202 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,217 grab a donkey by the toe, give him gonorrhea. 203 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,677 I don't know it, all right? 204 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,429 All I know is some old school. 205 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,014 And if you can't give it to me, you can't give it to me. 206 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,224 - Come on, man, Run-DMC is old school. 207 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,809 - Ahh. 208 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,186 - Well, can you name a group? - You the DJ, man. 209 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,771 I ain't trying to tell you how to do your job. 210 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,108 - Grandmaster Flash. - Oh, man, Grandmaster Fla- 211 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,526 you sounding like a kid yourself, 212 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,778 talking about Grandmaster Flash to the- 213 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,114 [rapping gibberish] 214 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,408 Don't stop the boogie to the bang bang boogie to upchuck- 215 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,660 Why people talking about upchuck? 216 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,203 - Sugarhill Gang. 217 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,830 - Brother, how we end up in Candyland? 218 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,457 - You know what, man? 219 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,834 If you want some old school, then you come back here 220 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,586 and find it yourself. 221 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:13,964 I'm going on break. 222 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,175 - All right, then, well, get myself back here right here. 223 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,551 See what's going on back here. 224 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,136 What we got? What we got? 225 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,763 Let's see- nope, nope, nope, nope, 226 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,307 nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. 227 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,560 Ah, there, now we talking. 228 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,231 [1920s jazz music] 229 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,776 Aw, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 230 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,111 Ah, yeah. 231 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,155 Daddy. 232 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,115 Got to pull it. They got to pull it. 233 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,533 They got to pull it. They got to pull it. 234 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,701 They got to pull it. 235 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:46,330 - What the fuck is happening? 236 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,006 - There he is. - Hey, hey, hey, what's up? 237 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,800 - Hey, man. What up, man? 238 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,593 - Hey, here's the deal. 239 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:04,306 100%, grass-fed Japanese Kobe beef, $35 a pound. 240 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,474 - That's what I'm talking about. 241 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,809 - Mm-hmm. - All right. 242 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,852 Let's grill these little homeys up. 243 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,855 - Right, all right. Oh, man. Is that ground chuck, man? 244 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,982 No offense, I ain't trying to park my Bentley 245 00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,402 next to your Toyota, you know what I'm saying? 246 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,237 - Come on, man. - Oh, you just putting them 247 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,738 right next to the frozen patties. 248 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,323 Yeah, all right. 249 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,908 - Hey, relax, man. I'm gonna cook them good. 250 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,326 - Okay, yeah. 251 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,370 - All right, so how's Teresa doing? 252 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,955 - She's good. She's good. She's sad she couldn't be here. 253 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,790 You know, she's got a closing today. 254 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,750 You want to flash-cook those because they're real lean. 255 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,585 You know, they're grass-fed. 256 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,754 So you just want to probably flip them right-right now. 257 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,798 All right. 258 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,174 - Hey, who wants cheese on their burger? 259 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,717 - Nobody, nobody. Nobody wants cheese. 260 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:42,261 - Anybody want a double burger? 261 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,971 - No, nobody wants a double burger. 262 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,473 That's like putting a diamond ring on a pig hoof. 263 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,517 I'm sorry, but the grass that these cows ate 264 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:51,854 costs more than this house. - All right, no double burgers. 265 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,856 - No double burgers- - Hey, what the hell? 266 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,232 - You may as well just poop on that. 267 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,483 - What? 268 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,777 - You just ketchup-raped my Kobe burger. 269 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,030 This was a mistake. This-no, no. 270 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,824 No, no. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 271 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,160 See, this meat came all the way over here 272 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,872 from the Pacific Ocean by boat 273 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:14,251 because the air pressure wouldn't ruin its integrity. 274 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,627 Give me that. 275 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:19,131 You are not worthy. Gimme that burger. 276 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,924 This is ridiculous. This is 126-oh! 277 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,719 This little mother- 278 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,097 $126 worth of beef. 279 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,225 Y'all are not worthy. 280 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,728 - Did he take my dog? 281 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,525 So you know what white people hate? 282 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,903 Being called racist. - Yes. 283 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,280 White people flip out... 284 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,448 - They hate it. - When you call them a racist. 285 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,241 - It's like, "I am not." 286 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,619 - "I am not a racist." 287 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,580 Racist is the "N" word for white people. 288 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,625 - Yes, it is. [Cheers and applause] 289 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,710 - Nothing else works. 290 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,253 Cracker didn't work. - Nope. 291 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,172 - Honky didn't work. - Sounds too fun. 292 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,882 - Old fang, whatever that means, didn't work. 293 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,634 - I've never even heard that. 294 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,552 But we're good at, like, figuring out how to use that. 295 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,513 It's like a Jedi mind trick. It goes like this. 296 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,473 Be a white guy. Say something white. 297 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,891 - Okay, all right. - Okay. 298 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,559 - Excuse me, sir, you can't bring 299 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,478 an outside beverage into the theater. 300 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,646 - Racist. - Right this way. 301 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,357 [Cheers and applause] 302 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,026 Just like that. 303 00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,319 So I just finished episode four. 304 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,863 - Okay, so the Lannisters... - Yep. 305 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,074 - Are the blonde people. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 306 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,784 - And the female Lannister is married 307 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,537 to Robert Barantheon, who is the king. 308 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,247 - Is it Barantheon or Baratheon? 309 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,665 - Right, right. 310 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:38,710 - And then the other blonde girl is the, um- 311 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,671 - Can I get you something? 312 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,422 - Oh, I don't know, um, 313 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,801 three kamikaze shots, whatever. 314 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:48,679 Oh, my God, I can't believe he just did that. 315 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,138 - What's that? 316 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:51,848 - Served me before you guys. 317 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:54,935 I'm really against that. I'm so sorry. 318 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,521 - No, it's okay. We, uh-we've got beers. 319 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:02,150 - No, I mean, I'm sorry about everything. 320 00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:03,986 - Oh, that's fine. It's fine. 321 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:07,406 - No, no, it's been 100 years of not fine. 322 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,116 I mean, 20 years ago, 323 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,785 you guys wouldn't have even been allowed in here. 324 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,788 - 20 years- that would be 1992. 325 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:21,128 - You're both really beautiful. 326 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,588 - Oh, she's done. 327 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,381 - That just happened, didn't it? 328 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,925 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, amazing. 329 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,427 Where were we? - So the Lannisters- 330 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,886 - Okay. - She's the queen. 331 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,763 - Jaime Lannister is the other one. 332 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,390 - Jaime and- - Yo, yo, yo, what up, man? 333 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,767 Hey, give me another lager, you know what I mean? 334 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:39,021 Spilled my last one on my Tribe shirt-can you believe that? 335 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,815 But whatevs, got this thing in '93- 336 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,610 Midnight Marauders tour. Check that out. 337 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,320 It's everywhere. Oh, man. - Mm-hmm. 338 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,906 - Hey, uh, who's your favorite member of Tribe? 339 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,993 - Smok-smoke-Smokey. Know what I mean? 340 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,788 Love him, dude, more behind the scenes, but he was, like- 341 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,790 All right, good. See you guys around though. 342 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,500 - Mm-hmm. Okay. - Cool. 343 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,628 - One more, one more, one more. Come on, son. 344 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,255 Boom. All right, late. 345 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,716 - Oh, he spun. He spun. - Wow. 346 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,926 Second person to not wait for their drink, by the way. 347 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,178 - Yep. 348 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,721 Okay, let me ask you this, then. 349 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,431 What's with the barbarian dude 350 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,099 who looks like a huge Dave Navarro? 351 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,434 - Okay. - Who's that guy? 352 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,102 - Oh... 353 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,147 I need a drink. [chuckles] Just finished Amistad. 354 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,316 I saw it 3 times, and I'll see it 100 more times 355 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,817 because, like, I'm happy to do it. 356 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,694 If that's what those guys went through, 357 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,946 I'm happy to sit through it, you know, 300 more times 358 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,531 or whatever, you know, it takes. 359 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,033 - Yeah, it's pretty intense. 360 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,160 - See, my thing is, is, like, I don't think 361 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,871 one person should own another person, period. 362 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,414 - I'm glad that that's what you got from that movie. 363 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,249 - That's a true statement. 364 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,751 - Yeah, I mean, I don't care when it happened, all right? 365 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,670 It should never happen. It should never occur. 366 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,046 But, like, I'm preaching to the choir. 367 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,589 You guys know what I'm talking about. 368 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,174 - Yeah, we do. - Yeah, we do. 369 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,009 - It's like, why did anybody even do that? 370 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,636 I'm like, "No, you didn't. No, you didn't. 371 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,262 What you doing, girlfriend? No, you didn't." 372 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,348 I'm ashamed. - You know what? 373 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,350 It's really probably okay because you weren't there. 374 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:01,478 - Okay, well, we can come up with excuses all day, all day. 375 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,606 - It's not an excuse so much. - Let's just not do that. 376 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:05,982 Let's not do that. 377 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,901 - Look, hey, bottom line, we cool. 378 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,486 Right? - Yeah. 379 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,737 - All right. - Yeah, we are cool. 380 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,698 - We're kickity-cool? - Yes. 381 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,199 - What's that? 382 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:15,367 - Didn't say anything. - Nothing. 383 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,619 - Oh, you didn't- 384 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:18,995 All right, four more years. 385 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,626 - Hey, if it makes you guys feel any better, 386 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,712 black people make me really uncomfortable. 387 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,006 Both: Thank you. 388 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:37,514 - So uh, my favorite sport is mixed martial arts. 389 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,393 - It is. I know that. You're a big fan. 390 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,228 - Oh, I love it. 391 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,938 And I think from watching it, I think I've picked it up. 392 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,690 I pick up some of that- 393 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,609 - I'm sorry. You think that you've picked it up? 394 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,319 - I can get out of any attack. 395 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,529 - Can l-Really? Can I do a thing? 396 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:53,905 - Do whatever you want. 397 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,198 - There's, like, one thing that I know. 398 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,366 - Do whatever you try. - So what if l- 399 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,202 If I do this, if I do that- 400 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,662 - All right, you're my friend, 401 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,581 and I know you're not going to hurt me. 402 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,499 You're my friend, and I know you're not going to hurt me. 403 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,251 You're my friend and I know you're not going to hurt me. 404 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,128 So there's no way- - Of course I'm not going hurt- 405 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,797 - Know who you're dealing with. 406 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,426 [Cheers and applause] See what I did there? 407 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,472 [Rock music] 408 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:24,478 ♪ ♪ 409 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,773 Hey, as far as I'm concerned, this Saturday night, 410 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,858 there's not even going to be a fight. 411 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,110 I'm gonna mercy-kill this old man. 412 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,821 - Derek is very good person. 413 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,282 But soon, he will learn manners. 414 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,201 I will torture his body 415 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,745 so that his soul learns to be humble. 416 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,872 - I'm gonna dance around him while he tries 417 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:47,793 to hit me with his cane, old man. 418 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,920 - God chose me for this fight. 419 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:53,465 God is the teacher, Derek is the student, 420 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,009 and I am God's instrument. 421 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,054 When I squeeze your lungs, Derek, 422 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,389 and you beg me for life, 423 00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:04,100 then your heart will open up to the Lord. 424 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:07,270 - I'm gonna knock him out round one, bitch. 425 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:11,358 Wait. What did he say again? 426 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,860 He said God chose him. 427 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,072 That doesn't even make sense, really. 428 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,367 - When you eat through plastic tube, 429 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:24,204 when you are paralyzed from neck down, 430 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,956 then your family 431 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,501 will gather around your hospital bed 432 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,670 to see the new Derek. 433 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:36,299 - Okay, he know we just talking here, right? 434 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,093 I mean, we just- 435 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,679 We just getting people interested in the fight- 436 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,640 because I'm sorry- is this nigga crazy? 437 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:48,895 - God's lessons are so beautiful. 438 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,359 - "God's lessons are beautiful"? 439 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,570 I'm sorry. Who put this fight together? 440 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,655 This is just- 441 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:02,158 If y'all got an actual crazy person for me to fight, 442 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,994 well, that's not fair to me... 443 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,412 Or him. 444 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:11,543 - [Speaking in tongues] 445 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,094 - What you mean, you can't find him? 446 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,721 Well, where is he? 447 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,347 Yo, man, where my manager at? Steve? 448 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,475 How's it- 449 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,940 [rock music] 450 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,692 ♪ ♪ 451 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,319 [cheers and applause] 452 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,654 - Thank you so much. 453 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,990 - All right, so here's the thing. 454 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,534 Keegan can't say good-bye, so I'm gonna say good-bye. 455 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,952 - Why can't l- What? 456 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,954 - Broke your larynx. That's why. 457 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,581 Broke your larynx. Good night, everybody. 458 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,207 Good night. 459 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:54,336 [Cheers and applause] 460 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,884 - ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 461 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,553 - Oh, yeah. 462 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,514 - Remember the video stores, there was always 463 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:09,267 new releases, but then there was also new arrivals. 464 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,186 If you have Julia Roberts in your movie, 465 00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,812 it's a new release. 466 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,564 If Eric Roberts is in it, it's a new arrival. 467 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,816 Nicolas Cage, new release. 468 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:20,028 Both: Nicolas Cage, new arrival.