ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,
FIVE, SIX, SHAKE IT, DUDE.
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN ♪
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN ♪
[ ♪♪♪ ]
[ Mixed chatter ]
Man 1: HE'S AMAZING.
Man 2: UNBELIEVABLE!
WHEN DID HE MOVE TO TOWN?
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.
I THINK HIS NAME'S BRANDON.
Man 3: I HEAR HE'S GOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COCK.
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ FEEL IT, BOY ♪
♪ CAN'T YOU FEEL IT, BOY? ♪
I ROLLED OVER AND YOU WEREN'T THERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SITTING HERE. THINKING.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK TO BED?
I CAN'T SLEEP.
BEN... I KEEP WONDERING...
WHERE HE IS? AND HOPING THAT HE'S ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, ME TOO.
I KEEP SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING, SOMETHING THAT...
WE COULD'VE SAID, WE SHOULD HAVE SAID,
THAT WOULD'VE CHANGED HIS MIND.
AND HAVE YOU FOUND IT?
WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE SAID?
THAT'S BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ANYTHING.
HE WAS DETERMINED TO LEAVE SO HE LEFT.
THERE WASN'T ANYTHING WE COULD'VE DONE TO HAVE STOPPED HIM.
WHY ARE YOU BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER IT?
BECAUSE HE WAS MY BLOOD.
YOU STILL HAVE A HEALTHY BABY DAUGHTER, MICHAEL.
SHE'LL BE LOVED, SENT TO A GOOD SCHOOL,
RAISED IN A WORLD WHERE SHE'LL HAVE EVERY CHANCE, EVERY OPPORTUNITY,
NOT LIKE HUNTER, WHO HAD NOTHING,
LESS THAN NOTHING.
I WANTED TO GIVE HIM ALL THOSE THINGS HE NEVER HAD.
SO DID I.
BUT I FAILED.
YOU DIDN'T FAIL.
YES, I DID. I DID FAIL.
WE GAVE HIM A HOME...
EVERYTHING WE COULD OF OURSELVES
TO MAKE HIM PART OF OUR FAMILY.
THEN WHY ISN'T HE STILL HERE?
[ "Viens, Malika" aria from "Lakme" by Bizet ]
[ Panting ]
Both: [ Groaning ]
[ Chuckling ]
Emmett: SO DID YOU FUCK HIM OVER?
Ted: DID I EVER.
I FUCKED HIM OVER THE COUCH,
OVER THE KITCHEN COUNTER,
OVER THE COFFEE TABLE.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THEODORE? ME?
YEAH, I HAVE TO ADMIT I WAS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.
BUT AFTER YOU PLOWED HIM SO DEEP YOU COULD PLANT CORN,
THAT'S WHEN YOU REALLY GAVE IT TO HIM?
RIGHT?
TEDDY?
NOT YET.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NOT YET"?
WELL, WHY RUSH IT?
IT'S ALL SO...
DELICIOUS.
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT PERSON DID TO YOU?
HOW HE HUMI- LIATED YOU?
"AUNT PITY FUCK".
THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.
THAT'S WHY I'M WAITING FOR EXACTLY THE RIGHT MOMENT
WHEN THE REVELATION OF WHO I AM WILL HAVE MAXIMUM IMPACT.
MIGHT I INTERJECT A WORD OR TWO?
THEY SAY REVENGE IS A DISH
BEST SERVED COLD, BUT IN THIS PARTICULAR INSTANCE
IT'S A DISH BEST SERVED HOT,
AND HARD
AND AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE.
AND YOU'VE SERVED IT ALMOST AS MANY TIMES
AS McDONALD'S.
REMEMBER YOUR PLAN, YOUR STRATEGY.
I SAY, SCREW YOUR COURAGE TO THE STICKING PLACE.
[ Snorting ]
BETTER YET, JUST SCREW.
Nancy: AND THAT'S FOR YOU, PRECIOUS.
[ Sighing ]
I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE LIVING UNDER SUCH CONDITIONS.
WHAT CONDITIONS? IT'S A PERFECTLY DECENT APARTMENT.
"PERFECTLY DECENT" ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DAUGHTER.
WELL, AT THE MOMENT, IT'S ALL YOUR DAUGHTER CAN AFFORD.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ALL THIS. MMMM.
NICE STUFFED CHICKEN BREASTS THAT YOU LIKE. HMM.
LACE COOKIES. OH.
I JUST DON'T SEE WHY SHE HAS THE HOUSE.
IT WAS MY DECISION TO LEAVE.
BUT STILL, IT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR.
AT THE MOMENT, "FAIR" IS NOT A WORD IN MY VOCABULARY.
DARLING, I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES,
AND YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURT ME.
BUT CONSIDERING YOUR CURRENT SITUATION,
CAN'T WE JUST PUT ALL THAT BEHIND US?
I'D LIKE NOTHING BETTER.
GOOD.
THEN COME LIVE WITH US.
WHAT? YOUR DAD AND I TALKED IT OVER
AND WE THINK IT A SPLENDID IDEA
IF YOU AND GUS WERE TO MOVE IN.
AT LEAST UNTIL YOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA, MOM.
BUT WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM,
AND I PROMISE NOT TO GET IN YOUR WAY.
IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
THE LAST THING YOU NEED IS TO HAVE A TODDLER RUNNING AROUND.
I CAN BARELY KEEP UP WITH HIM MYSELF.
I WOULD LOVE TO GET THE CHANCE TO KNOW HIM.
SO WOULD YOUR FATHER.
AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE THE OFFER...
NOW, BEFORE YOU SAY NO,
JUST THINK OF ALL THE MONEY YOU'LL SAVE.
BUT MOST OF ALL,
WE'LL HAVE A CHANCE TO BE A FAMILY AGAIN.
Michael: HI.
YES. YES.
[ Cooing ] HEY.
TUNA MELT FOR MICHAEL.
GRILLED CHEESE AND BACON FOR SUNSHINE.
AND FOR THE QUEER GUY, A BUN-LESS BURGER.
JUST LIKE ME.
WHAT?
MY PRODUCER HAS INFORMED ME THAT IN THE FUTURE
WHEN I AM ON SCREEN, I HAVE NO ASS,
NO DICK, NO SEXUALITY.
I AM, AS BRIAN WAS SO KIND TO POINT OUT,
A BALL-LESS EUNUCH...
FORGIVE ME, THAT'S REDUNDANT...
WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO ENTERTAIN THE WHITE FOLKS.
IN FACT, I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CALLED A HOMOSEXUAL.
FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN REFER TO ME
AS A HOMO-INEFFECTUAL.
OH NO. OH, YES!
APPARENTLY, PITTSBURGH ISN'T READY TO DEAL WITH THE FACT
THAT QUEERS ARE NOT ONLY ANATOMICALLY CORRECT,
BUT THEY ACTUALLY USE ALL THEIR PARTS.
Melanie: NO, IT'S NOT JUST PITTSBURGH.
"YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, FAMILY AMERICA,
A CONSERVATIVE-BASED CITIZENS' ACTION GROUP
ANNOUNCED THEY'D COLLECTED ENOUGH SIGNATURES
TO HAVE PROPOSITION 14 PLACED ON THE BALLOT
IN THE UPCOMING STATE-WIDE ELECTION.
IF PASSED, THE CONTROVERSIAL MEASURE
COULD DISSOLVE A BROAD RANGE OF CONTRACTS BETWEEN SAME-SEX COUPLES."
THOSE GOD DAMN RIGHT-WING FUCKS.
THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN. IT'S NOT ENOUGH,
WHAT? THAT THEY CAN SAY NO TO GAY MARRIAGE?
NOW THEY'RE GOING TO GO AFTER EVERYTHING?
COME ON, MA, JUST... DON'T OVERREACT.
"OPPONENTS SAY PROPOSITION 14
IS ONE OF THE MOST HOMOPHOBIC PIECES OF LEGISLATION
IN OUR COUNTRY'S HISTORY.
IT WOULD EFFECTIVELY NEGATE POWERS OF ATTORNEY,
WILLS, LEASES, CHILD- CUSTODY ARRANGEMENTS,
JOINT BANK ACCOUNTS
AND HEALTH INSURANCE GRANTED BY COMPANIES
THAT RECOGNIZE DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS."
HOLY SHIT. THAT IS EVERYTHING.
DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY, "DON'T OVERREACT"?
THAT'S WHAT SOME OTHER PEOPLE SAID ONCE.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY WERE BEING SHIPPED OFF TO THE CAMPS.
THEY CAN'T DO THIS, CAN THEY? THEY ALREADY HAVE,
IN VIRGINIA. AND A DOZEN OTHER STATES ARE TRYING TO DO THE SAME.
BUT IF THAT HAPPENS,
IT WOULD DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU AND BEN HAVE WORKED FOR,
THAT YOU'VE BUILT TOGETHER.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I COULD LOSE MY HEALTH INSURANCE FROM BEN'S JOB.
THEY COULD INVALIDATE OUR MORTGAGE. WE COULD LOSE THE HOUSE.
YEAH, AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR PLANS TO ADOPT HUNTER?
YOU MEAN IF HE EVER COMES BACK?
SORRY.
IT'S NOT JUST ME AND BEN.
IT'S EVERYONE. IT'S MEL AND LINZ AND THE KIDS,
ELI AND MONTY...
MAYBE EVEN YOU.
HMPH, ME?
WELL...
IF YOU AND BRIAN WERE TO EVER...
WE WON'T. WELL...
YOU NEVER KNOW. HE COULD MELLOW.
HE'S NOT A HEARTY BURGUNDY, MICHAEL.
HE'S NOT GOING TO MELLOW.
WHATEVER THAT PROPOSI- TION WOULD TAKE AWAY
IS SOMETHING HE WOULD NEVER GIVE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GOING TO LIVE WITH THEM.
IT SEEMS LIKE A PERFECTLY VIABLE OPTION.
YEAH, SO IS JUMPING OFF A ROOF.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH.
THEY'RE STILL MY FAMILY.
YEAH, A FAMILY THAT NEVER ACCEPTED YOU OR ME
OR OUR CHILDREN.
A FAMILY THAT BASICALLY DISOWNED YOU,
WOULDN'T SPEAK TO YOU, WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU
AND NOW SUDDENLY THEY SHOW UP OUT OF THE BLUE TO RESCUE YOU.
I SMELL GOYIM.
IT IS POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO CHANGE.
"PEOPLE", YES. YOUR PARENTS, NO.
SHE SAID SHE WANTS TO GET TO KNOW HER GRANDSON, TO MAKE AMENDS.
UH-HUH. AND GETTING RID OF THE APARTMENT
WILL TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF ME, AND US, FINANCIALLY.
YEAH, BUT IS IT WORTH THE PRICE?
IF THEY'RE WILLING TO ADMIT THEY WERE WRONG,
CHANGE THEIR MINDS, LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES,
THEN I OWE IT TO THEM TO AT LEAST CONSIDER THEIR OFFER.
[ Heavy sigh ]
[ Grunting ]
[ "Ride Of The Valkyries" ♪♪♪ from "Die Walkure" opera by Wagner ]
Emmett: CONGRATULATIONS, STUD.
THAT'S YOUR THIRD TIME TONIGHT.
WHO'S KEEPING SCORE?
I AM.
LOOK AT HIM, SO SMUG,
SO SELF-SATISFIED.
NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME TO SEND HIM OFF
WITH HIS NOT-UNATTRACTIVE TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS.
WHAT THE FUCK FOR?
YOU'VE GOT THE SON OF A BITCH WHERE YOU WANT HIM
WITH HIS ASS IN THE AIR,
AND IT'S NOT A BAD ONE, I MIGHT ADD.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
TELL!
WHAT THE HELL DOES HE KNOW?
FUCK!
WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK?
HUH? OH...
NOTHING. YOU'RE JUST, UH,
GETTING A LITTLE HEAVY, THAT'S ALL.
[ Scoffing ]
OH. IT'S LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO TELL ME.
YEAH, ACTUALLY, UH, THERE IS.
GO FOR IT, TEDDY.
COME ON, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
YOU, UH...
YOU WANT TO GO TO BABYLON TOMORROW NIGHT?
[ Snide chuckle ]
WHERE'S YOUR BACKBONE, YOUR FORTITUDE?
WHERE'S THE LUBE?
[ "Ride Of The Valkyries" ♪♪♪ ]
[ Rattling of keys ]
THE CLUB WAS PACKED TONIGHT.
HMM. THAT'S NICE.
LINE ALL THE WAY AROUND THE BLOCK.
GREAT.
BARELY ANY ROOM ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
WHATEVER ELSE HAPPENS, BY ALL MEANS KEEP ON DANCING.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, DEAR? HOW WAS YOUR EVENING?
NOT NEARLY AS EXCITING AS YOURS.
I SPENT IT HERE....
ALONE...
THINKING,
AND DON'T SAY, "ALWAYS A DANGEROUS SIGN."
I MADE SOME DECISIONS.
ABOUT WHAT?
MY LIFE.
AH.
WHAT I WANT.
I THOUGHT YOU HAD ALREADY THAT WORKED OUT.
YOU WERE GOING TO LIVE OFF YOUR CONSIDERABLE HOLLYWOOD WEALTH
AND TRY YOUR HAND AT BEING AN ARTIST.
WHY ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?
I'M NOT MAKING FUN.
LOOK, YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING NERVOUS AS HELL,
JUST... TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT...
WHAT YOU'VE DECIDED.
WE CAN GO TO BED AND FUCK.
[ Scoffing ]
YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT.
I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT. YOU HAVE.
A HUSBAND. A FAMILY.
A HOME.
ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING.
WOULD YOU FUCKING CUT IT OUT?
JUST STOP IT.
[ Sighing ]
AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T GIVE ME THOSE THINGS.
NOT "CAN'T".
CAN'T IMPLIES THAT I'M INCAPABLE.
IT'S THAT I WON'T.
I ACCEPT THAT.
I SUPPOSE, IT'S WHY I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU.
[ Snorting ]
OH, THE UN- TAMEABLE BEAST.
BUT TO BE A COUPLE,
BOTH PEOPLE HAVE TO WANT THE SAME THINGS,
TO MOVE IN THE SAME DIRECTION.
IF THEY CAN'T OR... OR WON'T...
THEY REALLY HAVE NOWHERE TO GO.
PROBABLY NOT.
THEN WHY ARE WE STILL DOING THIS
IF WE BOTH KNOW IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK?
DAMNED IF I KNOW.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
HMM...
I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
[ Sliding of door ]
LET ME KNOW.
OH, MY GOODNESS!
YOU'VE TURNED INTO A MONSTER.
CAREFUL, RON, YOUR BACK. [ Chuckling ]
HEY, PARTNER, YOU WANT TO GO SEE YOUR ROOM?
[ Chuckling ] WOULD YOU LADIES EXCUSE US "GENTS"?
DIDN'T I TELL YOU HE'D BE THRILLED?
MOM! WHAT?
YOU HAVE MY PROM PICTURE OUT.
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THAT PICTURE.
OH, LOOK AT THAT HAIR AND THAT GOWN.
[ Moaning ] IT'S EMBARRASSING.
NOT TO ME.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I COME IN HERE
AND I JUST SIT.
YOU DO? SOMETIMES I FEEL
IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT OF YOU.
THANKS, MOM, FOR BEING SO GENEROUS.
IT'S OUR PLEASURE, DARLING.
BY THE WAY,
WE HAVE SOME PEOPLE COMING FOR DINNER TONIGHT.
I MEAN, NOTHING FORMAL, JUST AL AND LOIS SEGGERMAN
AND SOMEONE FROM DAD'S OFFICE.
YEAH, DON'T WORRY, I WON'T BE IN THE WAY.
I'LL STAY UP HERE, TAKE A BATH, READ.
I WAS HOPING YOU'D JOIN US.
OH, IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY AND...
I UNDERSTAND. WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
BUT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,
ELVIRA'S MAKING YOUR FAVOURITE,
SALMON IN DILL SAUCE.
I TOLD HER IT WAS YOUR WELCOME-HOME DINNER.
AW, THEN I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE.
IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
YOU READING THE DVD TITLES?
I DO THAT SOMETIMES TO...
MAKE SURE I DON'T NEED GLASSES.
"SINGIN' IN THE RAIN",
"SOME LIKE IT HOT",
"DIRTY HARRY".
HOW DID THAT GET THERE?
OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A PORN FILM.
HEY, JOKING.
OKAY, IT WASN'T VERY FUNNY.
HOW ABOUT YOU COME WITH ME TO BED, BATH AND BEGONE?
I'M BUYING THROW PILLOWS FOR THE BED.
THE QUEER GUY SAYS IT'S A STYLISH AND INEXPENSIVE WAY
TO ACCENTUATE THE COLOUR SCHEME
AND ENLIVEN A ROOM.
OF COURSE...
WE DON'T NEED PILLOWS TO ENLIVEN A ROOM, DO WE?
BEN?
I REMEMBER WATCHING THOSE MOVIES WITH HUNTER.
HE'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF "SINGIN' IN THE RAIN".
HE LOVED IT. MUST'VE SEEN IT 95 TIMES.
AND THAT WAS EVEN AFTER HE WASN'T GAY.
PLEASE COME WITH ME.
EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE REMINDS ME OF HIM.
EVERYWHERE I LOOK.
THAT'S WHY IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA
TO GET OUT FOR A WHILE.
YOU KNOW, TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF THINGS.
LISTEN, THERE'S A MEETING AT THE GAY AND LESBIAN CENTER TOMORROW NIGHT
ABOUT THIS PROPOSITION 14.
SO? SO WE SHOULD GO.
THEY'RE GOING TO NEED VOLUNTEERS.
WHO BETTER THAN SOMEONE AS INTELLIGENT, WELL-INFORMED,
AUTHORITATIVE, AND NOT TO MENTION HOT, AS YOU?
THE LAST THING I WANT TO THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW
IS ANOTHER GAY CAUSE.
IT'S NOT JUST ANOTHER GAY CAUSE.
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, YOU SAID THAT THIS WAS JUST THE BEGINNING.
WELL, NOW IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S THE BEGINNING OF THE END.
LISTEN, I'M JUST AS UPSET ABOUT THIS AS YOU ARE.
EVERY TIME I HEAR THAT DOOR OPEN
OR THE PHONE RING, I THINK IT'S HIM.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE US BOTH FEEL BETTER
IF WE GOT INVOLVED IN SOMETHING.
I DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED IN SOMETHING, OKAY?
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PROPOSITION 14,
OR 15, OR 16.
ALL I CARE ABOUT IS WHERE IS HE?
IS HE ALL RIGHT? AM I EVER GOING TO SEE HIM AGAIN?
SO LET SOMEBODY ELSE SIT ON THAT GOD DAMN COMMITTEE.
I'VE GIVEN ENOUGH.
Debbie: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE LET YOU WALK OUT
AND DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO STOP YOU?
I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO.
WELL, IF EITHER OF YOU HAD EVER BOTHERED TO READ JACKIE COLLINS,
YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IN THE LAST CHAPTER,
THE HERO FINALLY REALIZES THAT HE HAS LOVED THE HEROINE,
IN THIS CASE, THE HEROINE BEING YOU,
ALL ALONG AND BEGS HER TO STAY.
THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED FICTION.
FIGHT PROPOSITION 14! THANKS.
THERE'S A MEETING TOMORROW AT THE CENTER.
YOU PEOPLE NEED JESUS IN YOUR LIVES.
YEAH, AND YOU NEED A GOOD BLOW-JOB.
THAT IS, IF YOU CAN FIND ANYONE TO GIVE YOU ONE,
AND DON'T LOOK AT ME.
Debbie: THAT NO-GOOD SON OF A BITCH.
HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
I WANTED ONE THING AND HE WANTED ANOTHER.
AND SINCE NEITHER ONE OF US COULD GIVE THE OTHER WHAT HE NEEDED,
WE DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST TO MOVE ON.
SO WHERE'RE YOU GOING TO GO?
YOU COULD ALWAYS COME BACK TO DEBBIE'S BOARDING HOUSE,
SHARE EMMETT'S ROOM. HEY, UM,
PERHAPS, UH, EMMETT WOULD LIKE TO BE CONSULTED ON THAT?
DON'T WORRY, I ALREADY HAVE IT WORKED OUT.
I'M GOING TO STAY WITH BEN AND MICHAEL UNTIL I GET A PLACE OF MY OWN.
A PLACE OF YOUR OWN? AT YOUR AGE?
DEB, I'M NOT A KID ANY MORE.
YOU WERE NEVER A KID.
I KNOW, BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A KID TO ME.
BESIDES IT'S TIME I MADE IT ON MY OWN.
LIKE MARY.
AND EVEN THOUGH I'LL MISS BRIAN AND I'LL WISH WE WERE STILL TOGETHER...
THIS'LL BE GOOD FOR ME.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
YEAH, DAMN... DAMN RIGHT.
VOTE NO ON PROPOSITION 14!
Man: YEAH, THANKS. THANK YOU.
NO ON 14. MEETING AT THE CENTER.
OH, EXCUSE ME, FOLKS,
I GOT TO GO PEE AGAIN.
DAMN PROSTATE. AL, PLEASE.
OH, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED, HONEY.
IT'S NOT AS IF I BROUGHT UP MY HAEMORRHOIDS.
All: [ Chuckling ]
WHAT CAN I SAY? AL IS AL.
I'M AFRAID I'M A LITTLE YOUNG FOR THIS CROWD.
MY PROSTATE'S STILL IN WORKING ORDER,
BUT I'D BE GLAD TO SHOW YOU MY TENNIS ELBOW IF YOU LIKE.
NO, THAT'S OKAY.
SO YOU WORK WITH MY DAD?
GOING ON FIVE YEARS NOW.
HE'S A GREAT GUY.
AND YOU? YOU WORK AT THE SIDNEY BLOOM GALLERY?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T GET MUCH TIME TO GO TO GALLERIES,
BUT I DID MANAGE TO CATCH THE SAM AUERBACH SHOW.
DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT?
ACTUALLY, I PUT IT TOGETHER. REALLY?
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
AND THE MURAL DOWN AT PENN PLAZA IS...
IT'S A KNOCK-OUT.
BUT OF COURSE, I'M NOT AN EXPERT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AN EXPERT TO KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.
I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH YOU.
IT'S BOLD, LARGER THAN LIFE,
COMPLETELY UNPREDICTABLE, HUH,
MUCH LIKE THE MAN.
AND LIKE THE MAN,
BEST APPRECIATED FROM A SAFE DISTANCE.
THE OLD FOLKS ARE GOING TO BORE THEMSELVES
WITH PICTURES FROM THEIR ALASKAN CRUISE.
WHY DON'T YOU TWO MAKE YOUR ESCAPE
AND WE'LL CALL YOU FOR DESSERT?
OKAY. [ Chuckling ]
[ ♪♪♪ ]
TE-D-DY.
OH. HI, EM.
ENOUGH WITH ALL THE GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS.
I WANT DETAILS.
HOW DID IT GO WHEN YOU TOLD HIM?
DID HE DIE OF SHAME?
WILL I BE CATERING THE MEMORIAL SERVICE?
WILL YOU STOP WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?
OH MY GOD!
WHAT?
IT'S JUST WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF.
I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'VE FALLEN FOR HIM, HAVEN'T YOU?
ADMIT IT. IT'S TRUE. HEY LOOK. HERE'S BRIAN.
BRI. BUDDY. GREAT TO SEE YOU.
BRIAN, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
"WHY AM I HERE?" HMM.
THAT'S A QUESTION THAT PHILOSOPHERS,
SCIENTISTS AND THEOLOGIANS HAVE BEEN ASKING THEMSELVES
FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.
THE BEST I CAN COME UP WITH IS, WE LIVE IN PITTSBURGH.
WHERE THE HELL ELSE AM I GOING TO GO?
I BELIEVE WHAT EMMETT MEANS IS WE DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU,
CONSIDERING YOU AND JUSTIN BROKE UP.
YOU MUST BE DEVASTATED.
WE'RE SO SORRY.
THANKS FOR THE SYMPATHIES.
ANOTHER.
AND THE CONDOLENCES, BUT...
I'M NOT DEVASTATED,
AND YOU'RE NOT SORRY, SO PLEASE...
SPARE ME THE SENTIMENTS
AND THE SENTIMENTALITY.
Ted: WELL, IT'S A RELIEF TO KNOW YOU WON'T BE
DYING OF A BROKEN HEART ANY TIME SOON.
SILLY OF US TO EVEN THINK YOU HAD ONE.
I'M DOING JUST FINE.
YEAH, WE CAN SEE.
AND I'M SURE JUSTIN IS TOO.
UH, HE'S DOING BETTER THAN FINE.
HE'S PICKED HIMSELF UP, DUSTED HIMSELF OFF AND...
STARTED ALL OVER AGAIN.
GLAD TO HEAR IT.
BE SURE AND GIVE HIM MY REGARDS THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM.
YOU CAN TELL HIM YOURSELF,
NEXT TIME YOU'RE OVER AT MICHAEL AND BEN'S.
HE'S MOVED IN WITH THEM.
[ ♪♪♪ ]
ANOTHER.
SO I SAID TO HIM,
"WYATT, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CANCEL YOUR PLAY DATE
BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND CAN'T COME OVER TODAY."
AND HE SAID, AND I SWEAR...
"DADDY, I CAN PLAY WITH MY OTHER FRIEND."
AND I SAID, "WHAT OTHER FRIEND?"
AND THAT'S WHEN HE SHOWED ME.
OH-H, NO! OH, YES!
THAT'S WHAT HE CALLS HIS PENIS: HIS "FRIEND".
OH-H. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. HE'S FIVE.
OH, THANK GOD GUS HASN'T DISCOVERED HIS "FRIEND" YET.
AND SO WHEN I TOLD MY EX, SHE GOT ALL UPSET ABOUT IT,
WANTED HIM TO GO TO A SHRINK.
AND BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY,
SHE THOUGHT I SHOULD GO TO A SHRINK.
AND THEN IT TURNED INTO A COMPETITION
ABOUT WHO'S A BETTER PARENT AND..
I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT, BELIEVE ME.
WOULD YOU MIND IF I STOPPED BY YOUR GALLERY SOME AFTERNOON
AND TOOK YOU TO LUNCH?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
WHAT ABOUT THURSDAY?
THURSDAY'S FINE.
ALTHOUGH JUST TO BE FAIR,
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW.
I'M A LESBIAN.
OH.
IF THAT'S A PROBLEM...
UH, NO, IT'S... NO, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
IT'S... IT'S JUST NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOUR PARENTS TOLD ME
WHEN THEY INVITED ME FOR DINNER.
WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY TELL YOU?
UH, THEY SAID THAT YOU'D JUST BROKEN UP...
WITH A MAN. HUH.
♪ ...DEEJAY I'M A SONG ♪
♪ TAKE ME OUT AND TURN ME ON ♪
♪ LET YOURSELF GO ♪
♪ I'LL BE RIDING IT ♪
♪ CHICAS BUMPING TO THE BEAT ♪
♪ FROM THE SIDE AND UNDERNEATH ♪
Troy: WHOO!
HEY, HOT GUY! HEY, THERE YOU ARE!
HMMM!
OH, I BROUGHT SOME FRIENDS.
I WANT THEM TO MEET YOU.
WELL, ANY FRIEND OF YOURS IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
AUNT PITY FUCK! AUNT PITY FUCK!
WHO'S THAT? SOME FREAK!
COME ON... Man: TROY.
UH, HEY...
REMEMBER ME?
WE HOOKED UP A FEW MONTHS AGO?
SURE. RIGHT, RIGHT RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
SO, UH, HOW WAS I?
HOT. YOU SAID YOU'D CALL BUT...
I GUESS YOU LOST MY NUMBER SO...
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU AGAIN.
PROMISE NOT TO LOSE IT?
WORD OF HONOUR.
FUCKING LOSERS.
THEY JUST DON'T GET IT, DO THEY?
YOU KNOW, THESE GUYS,
I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.
I CAN'T HELP IT. IT'S MY NATURE.
SO OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART,
I HAVE SEX WITH THEM.
GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO REMEMBER FOR A RAINY DAY.
BUT IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.
THEY'RE PITIFUL.
FUCKING PITIFUL.
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I WAS ONE OF THEM.
WHAT?
WELL, YOU'RE HOT.
YEAH? WELL, YOU DIDN'T THINK SO THEN.
PRIDE? 2002?
I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOME- THING FAMILIAR ABOUT YOU.
YEAH, I WAS ONE OF YOUR PITY FUCKS,
A FACT YOU MADE PAINFULLY CLEAR.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
NOW YOU'RE MINE.
HEY, DON'T LOOK SO BEWILDERED.
I SOUGHT YOU OUT.
I WAITED FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT.
I GUESS THIS IS IT.
HMM.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
'FRAID NOT.
BUT, HEY, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE SOME- THING TO REMEMBER ME BY.
YOU'RE DUMPING ME?
IT'S A FAG-EAT-FAG WORLD.
FUCK YOU.
YOU KNOW...
I LIKED YOU...
A LOT.
I REALLY DID.
♪ ...DANCE LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING ♪
♪ IT'S A FUNNY KIND OF FEELING ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE ♪
♪ WHO CAN PUMP IT LOUD THE WAY I LIKE ♪
♪ YOU'RE A DEEJAY I'M A SONG ♪
♪ TAKE ME OUT AND TURN ME ON ♪
♪ LET YOURSELF GO ♪
♪ I'LL BE RIDING IT ♪
♪ BUMPING TO THE BEAT ♪
♪ FROM THE SIDE AND UNDERNEATH ♪
♪ YEAH MY BODY'S WHERE THIS... ♪
[ Knocking on door ]
Ben: JESUS CHRIST! I'M COMING!
[ Banging on door ]
OKAY, O...
OKAY!
[ Pounding on door ]
STOP ALREADY.
BRIAN. EXCELLENT, PROFESSOR.
YOU RECOGNIZE THE SUBJECT AND CAN IDENTIFY HIM BY NAME.
WE'VE GONE TO BED. THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT.
THE STEPFORD HUSBANDS TURN IN EARLY.
GET IN HERE. YOU'LL WAKE THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD.
HMM.
I WANT TO SEE YOUR WIFE.
WHERE IS THE LITTLE WOMAN?
I MEAN, LITTLE HUSBAND? IF YOU'RE REFERRING TO MICHAEL...
WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I BE REFERRING TO? HE'S ASLEEP.
ROUSE HIM.
WAKE HIM UP.
MICHAEL, YOU GET YOUR ASS DOWN... ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
YOU BETTER GO. YOU BETTER GO.
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. NO, I SAID YOU'RE LEAVING.
MICHAEL! I WANT YOU TO GET YOUR DRUNKEN ASS OUT OF MY HOUSE.
Michael: BEN, IT'S OKAY.
I'LL HANDLE IT. JUST GO TO BED.
YOU SURE?
WELL, MIKEY.
CONGRATULATIONS. FOR WHAT?
YOU WON.
TO THE SPOILER GOES THE VICTORY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
NO ONE PLAYS DEWY-EYED INNOCENT BETTER THAN YOU,
ALTHOUGH AT 34, YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE BIT LONG IN THE TOOTH FOR SHORT PANTS.
SPEAKING OF OUT- GROWING YOUR ACT,
NOTHING'S MORE PATHETIC, TO USE ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE WORDS,
THAN AN OVER-THE- HILL CLUB BOY.
[ Snickering ]
YOU INFECTED HIM...
WITH YOUR PETTY, BOURGEOIS,
MEDIOCRE, CONFORMIST, ASSIMILATIONIST LIFE.
THANKS TO YOU, HE'S GOT VISIONS
OF BABIES, WEDDINGS, WHITE PICKET FENCES
DANCING IN HIS BLOND LITTLE HEAD. AND YOU THINK I PUT THEM THERE.
BEFORE YOU AND YOUR "HUSBAND" TIED THE NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECKS,
HE WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY.
BUT NOW HE'S A DEFECTOR,
JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOU. HE WAS NEVER PERFECTLY HAPPY.
WAITING FOR YEARS
FOR YOU TO SAY, "I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT."
THAT'S NOT WHO I AM.
DON'T WE ALL KNOW.
AND NOW HE'S HERE IN YOUR HOUSE...
IT'S A HOME. IT'S A FARCE!
IT'S A FREAK SHOW.
CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT,
I HONESTLY DON'T CARE.
BUT HE DIDN'T LEAVE BECAUSE I INFECTED HIM.
HE LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU.
WHO WOULDN'T?
[ Slamming of door ]
[ Rapping on door ] Nancy: KNOCK, KNOCK.
JUST WANTED TO SAY GOOD NIGHT.
DID YOU ENJOY DINNER?
ELVIRA'S SALMON WAS DELICIOUS.
AL AND LOIS COULDN'T STOP RAVING
ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL YOU LOOK.
THAT'S NICE.
AND STEPHEN'S QUITE CHARMING, DON'T YOU THINK?
YES. QUITE.
GOOD NIGHT, DARLING.
SLEEP WELL.
MOM?
HMM?
WHY DID YOU INVITE HIM HERE TONIGHT?
HE'S YOUR FATHER'S ASSOCIATE.
WE'VE BEEN MEANING TO HAVE HIM OVER,
AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
OH, THAT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL.
YOU SEEMED TO BE ENJOYING YOURSELF.
I LIKED HIM VERY MUCH.
I'M VERY GLAD TO HEAR IT.
BUT NOT IN THAT WAY.
I'M A LESBIAN, MOTHER.
YOU KNOW THAT.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL OVER WITH.
"ALL OVER WITH"?
YOUR SISTER TOLD ME YOU WERE WITH A MAN.
THAT CUNT. LINDSAY!
THAT HAPPENED ONCE AND IT WAS A MISTAKE.
AND WHY WAS IT A MISTAKE?
PERHAPS IF YOU HAD GIVEN IT MORE TIME,
YOU MIGHT FINALLY HAVE HAD A MATURE RELATIONSHIP.
I'VE HAD A MATURE RELATIONSHIP.
[ Sighing ] WITH THAT PERSON?
MELANIE, MOTHER.
NOT "THAT PERSON".
AND YES, SHE WAS MY PARTNER FOR 10 YEARS.
AND THAT'S A HELL OF A LOT LONGER THAN ANY OF THOSE THREE MARRIAGES
MY DARLING SISTER HAS HAD.
WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN TOGETHER.
AND IF THAT'S NOT A MATURE...
I CAN'T BELIEVE I STILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH YOU.
I'M SORRY, DEAR.
BUT IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME.
IT ISN'T.
WHEN I HEARD ABOUT YOUR RELATIONS WITH A MAN,
I WAS HOPING THAT... WHAT?
THAT I'D BE THE DAUGHTER YOU ALWAYS DREAMT OF?
WELL, I'M NOT, MOM.
AND I NEVER WILL BE.
SO IF THAT'S WHY YOU ASKED ME TO COME AND LIVE HERE...
THEN I'M AFRAID I'VE DISAPPOINTED YOU...
ONCE AGAIN.
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ JUST GIVE ME LOVE ♪
♪ JUST GIVE ME SEX ♪
♪ JUST GIVE ME MONEY ♪
♪ JUST GIVE ME LOVE ♪
♪ JUST GIVE ME SEX ♪
WHAT'S UP, BOSS?
YOU SEE THAT?
HOW COULD I MISS IT?
WELL, ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
THE KID'S HOT, ATTRACTS GUYS, SELLS DRINKS.
YEAH, WELL, FUCK THE DRINKS.
IF HE WANTS TO GET HIS DICK SUCKED,
HE CAN TAKE HIS ACT TO THE BACKROOM.
I'LL TELL HIM.
WAIT.
TELL HIM...
HE'S BARRED FROM THE CLUB,
PERMANENTLY.
AW, COME ON, BRIAN... DO IT.
NOW!
[ ♪♪♪ ]
AND IN A RECENT HOLLYWOOD MOVIE
ABOUT THE TROJAN WAR,
THERE WAS A SMALL, BUT VERY SIGNIFICANT, ALTERATION
IN THE LEGEND AS RECOUNTED BY HOMER IN "THE ILIAD".
ACHILLES DIDN'T GO TO WAR
BECAUSE THE GREEKS KILLED PATROCLUS, HIS COUSIN.
HE WENT TO BATTLE
BECAUSE THEY KILLED PATROCLUS, HIS LOVER.
Girl: EXCUSE ME, PROFESSOR,
BUT WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
IF THEY CHANGED SOME OLD LEGEND?
LIKE, HUH, WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
BECAUSE THAT "OLD LEGEND" WAS REWRITTEN
TO OMIT A VERY IMPORTANT TRUTH:
THAT THE HOMOPHOBIA WHICH INFECTS OUR CULTURE
DIDN'T ALWAYS EXIST.
THERE WERE ONCE GREAT AND POWERFUL CULTURES
IN WHICH THE EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL LOVE
BETWEEN TWO MEN WAS ACCEPTED,
EVEN AMONG WARRIORS.
YEAH, GOOD FOR THEM. BUT WHAT ABOUT US?
Boy: WHILE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE TROJAN WAR,
THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY.
Ben: I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN.
BUT RIGHT NOW, WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS GAY IMAGERY
IN MYTHOLOGY AND HISTORY.
IF PROPOSITION 14 PASSES,
PRETTY SOON WE'LL BE HISTORY.
[ Murmurs of agreement ] Boy 1: HE'S RIGHT.
Boy 2: WELL, THERE'S A MEETING AT THE CENTER.
ARE YOU GOING TO COME? YEAH.
[ Passing of train ]
WHAT A DUMP. [ Chuckling ]
WHAT'S SO FUNNY? YOU DO A FABULOUS BETTE DAVIS.
OR IS IT ELIZABETH TAYLOR
DOING A FABULOUS BETTE DAVIS?
I'M NOT DOING A FABULOUS ANYBODY.
ALL I KNOW IS, THIS IS A DISGUSTING PLACE
AND YOU'RE NOT LIVING HERE.
I LOVE IT. ARE YOU CRAZY?
IF I AM, I HAVE YOU AND DAD TO THANK.
IT'S TINY, IT SMELLS LIKE, UH,
SOMETHING YOU NEVER WANT TO MEET DIED HERE.
YOU HAVE TO SHARE A BATHROOM DOWN THE HALL
WITH GOD- KNOWS-WHO.
CRACKHEADS? NOT TO MENTION,
YOU CAN'T GO OUT INTO THE STREET AFTER DARK.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I CAN AFFORD IT.
IT'S GOT GREAT LIGHT,
AND BEST OF ALL, IT'S MY OWN PLACE.
HOW DID I EVER GIVE BIRTH TO AN ARTIST?
VAN GOGH'S MOTHER WAS A WASHERWOMAN.
REALLY?
I MADE IT UP. IT'S, UM...
QUITE A COME-DOWN FROM BRIAN'S PLACE.
YOU WEREN'T SO THRILLED WHEN I MOVED IN THERE.
NO. I GUESS NOT.
I JUST WISH THAT YOU...
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY HEARING MYSELF SAY THIS.
WHAT? THAT YOU AND HE COULD HAVE...
SOMEHOW MANAGED TO WORK THINGS OUT.
I KNOW.
ME, TOO.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT AS IF HE
REPEATEDLY AND SYSTEMATICALLY
LIED TO YOU OR ABUSED YOU
OR BETRAYED YOU,
LIKE YOUR FATHER DID TO ME.
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
HE SAVED MY LIFE. HE TOOK CARE OF ME.
HE GAVE ME EVERYTHING.
IT'S JUST THAT WE EACH WANT DIFFERENT THINGS.
AND NEITHER OF YOU IS WILLING TO CHANGE?
THAT'S NOT LOVE, THAT'S SACRIFICE.
HMM.
HE FELL ASLEEP THE SECOND HIS HEAD HIT THE PILLOW.
WELL, HE'S GLAD TO BE BACK IN HIS OWN ROOM,
IN HIS OWN BED. I DON'T BLAME HIM.
I'M TRYING TO CATCH UP ON THE WORLD.
I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN LIVING ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PLANET.
ME, TOO.
IF YOU WANT TO SAY IT, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
THOSE WORDS WILL NEVER ESCAPE MY LIPS.
WHY NOT?
YOU WERE RIGHT.
IT'S FUNNY.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU KNOW UP HERE...
YOU HOPE AGAINST HOPE...
IN HERE...
THAT YOUR PARENTS, AT LEAST,
WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.
WE'LL TRY AND DO BETTER WITH OUR KIDS.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO A HOTEL, I GUESS.
AT LEAST, FOR TONIGHT.
TAKE YOUR COAT OFF.
WHAT? TAKE YOUR COAT OFF.
YOU'RE STAYING HERE TONIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
OH, NEITHER DO I, BUT YOU'RE STAYING ANYWAY.
ARE YOU SURE?
I'LL MAKE US TEA AND GRILLED CHEESE,
AND WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
OKAY?
ANOTHER BEER.
AND ANOTHER COSMO AND A DIET PEPSI,
ON ME.
BIG SPENDER.
WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
WE'RE CELEBRATING.
TEDDY FINALLY PUT THAT PRICK, TROY, IN HIS PROPER PLACE.
UP A TIGHT BUTTHOLE?
OUT ON HIS ASS.
HE'S NO LONGER AUNT PITY FUCK.
CONGRATULATIONS, THEODORE.
IT'S A RARE MAN WHO'D RATHER GET EVEN THAN GET LAID.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
HOW GREAT WAS HE?
BEYOND GREAT.
AMAZING.
THE BEST.
YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO STILL HAVE HIS PHONE NUMBER?
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
YOUR HAND'S ON MY STICK.
WHY DID YOU BAR ME FROM YOUR CLUB?
BECAUSE I CAN.
GETTING SUCKED OFF ON THE DANCE FLOOR
IS A VERY SERIOUS OFFENCE.
EXCEPT WHEN IT'S YOU.
MEMBERSHIP HAS ITS PRIVILEGES.
I THINK YOU THREW ME OUT BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID I'LL GET THE HOTTEST GUYS.
I AM THE HOTTEST GUY.
YOU MEAN "WERE".
SINCE WHEN? SINCE ME.
EVEN THE MIGHTIEST ONE DAY MUST FALL.
THE KING IS ASSASSINATED, THE LION IS TORN TO SHREDS.
OH LORD, PLEASE SPARE US FROM WEARISOME CLICHES.
LISTEN...
TWERP...
YOU THINK YOU GET TO BE THE BEST
BY JUST SHOWING UP AND ANNOUNCING THAT YOU ARE?
YOU HAVE TO PROVE IT FIRST.
I THOUGHT I ALREADY HAD.
BY PICKING OFF A COUPLE OF TWINKS BEFORE I GOT TO THEM?
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT.
THEN HOW ABOUT WE PICK...
SAY, THE 10 HOTTEST GUYS WE CAN FIND,
AND THE ONE WHO FUCKS THEM ALL FIRST WINS?
YOU KNOW THE GAME.
I ALSO KNOW THE OUTCOME.
I ADMIRE YOUR CONFIDENCE.
BUT THEY SAY EVERY STAR BURNS ITS BRIGHTEST
JUST BEFORE IT BURNS OUT. OOOH.
SAY YOU WIN?
I GET INTO BABYLON.
AND IF YOU WIN?
I GET INTO YOU.
MICHAEL, WE SAVED SEATS.
HEY, HONEY.
WHERE'S BEN?
UM, HE HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO.
WHAT OTHER THING'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS?
Tannis: GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
I GUESS WE ALL KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE:
TO JOIN IN THE STATE-WIDE EFFORT TO DEFEAT PROPOSITION 14.
Tannis: THAT'S THE SPIRIT
WE'RE GOING TO NEED IN ORDER TO WIN.
HERE TO HELP US IS ONE OF THE ORGANIZERS OF "STOP PROP 14",
CONGRESSWOMAN BETH EDELSTEIN.
[ Applause ]
THANK YOU.
THANKS, TANNIS, PHILLIP,
AND THANK ALL OF YOU, FOR COMING TONIGHT.
AS YOU KNOW, OUR RIGHTS
AS FULL AND EQUAL CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES ARE BEING THREATENED...
NOT BY OUTSIDE FORCES OR TERRORISTS,
BUT BY OUR OWN GOVERNMENT,
BY RELIGIOUS LEADERS WHO, IN THEIR EFFORT TO STRIP US OF OUR HUMANITY,
CLAIM THAT GOD IS ON THEIR SIDE;
AND BY OTHER AMERICANS ACTING OUT OF HATE AND IGNORANCE.
WE HAVE GOT TO STOP THEM.
BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.
"VOTE TO SAVE AMERICA"... [ Opening of door ]
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLING THEMSELVES?
...HAS MANY SUPPORTERS AND IS WELL-FUNDED.
ALL RIGHT IF I SIGN UP?
THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOING TO NEED THE HELP
OF EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM,
AS WELL AS YOUR FAMILIES AND YOUR FRIENDS,
TO DONATE AS MUCH TIME AND MONEY AS YOU CAN.
VOLUNTEER TO SERVE ON VARIOUS COMMITTEES.
MAKE CALLS. CANVAS NEIGHBOURHOODS.
SIGN UP AND FIGHT AS IF YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT
BECAUSE IT DOES.
Debbie: WHOEVER THOUGHT IT'D COME TO THIS, HUH?
FIGHTING FOR... WELL, LIKE SHE SAYS, FOR OUR LIVES?
IT'S WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS HAD TO DO.
AND THIS TIME WE JUST HAVE TO DO IT HARDER.
I'M UP FOR IT. ME TOO, SUNSHINE.
BYE. BYE.
BYE, TED.
I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND.
HOW COME?
"WITH HIS EYES FIXED FIRMLY IN THE PAST,
HE FAILED TO SEE THE FUTURE.
SO, BY THE PRESENT, HE WAS DESTROYED."
I GUESS YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME THAT IF YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
AND WE LOST, YOU'D NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF.
YOU GOT IT.
HEY. HEY.
Man: FRED, COME ON. COME WITH US. WE'RE GOING TO GET A BEER.
HOW WAS THE MEETING?
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE.
I'M NOT RAGE. SAVING GAYOPOLIS ISN'T MY THING.
YOU DOING OKAY?
YEAH, I'M FINE.
AND YOU? LIKEWISE.
THANKS FOR ASKING.
WELL, I GUESS I'D BETTER GET GOING.
ME TOO.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
YOU TOO. OKAY.
SEE YOU.
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ THE OTHER NIGHT, DEAR ♪
♪ AS I LAY SLEEPING ♪
♪ I DREAMED I HELD YOU IN MY ARMS ♪
♪ WHEN I AWOKE, DEAR ♪
♪ I WAS MISTAKEN ♪
♪ AND I HUNG MY HEAD AND CRIED ♪
♪ YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE MY ONLY SUNSHINE ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN SKIES ARE GREY ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, DEAR ♪
♪ HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ♪
♪ PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY ♪
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ WHOO-OO-OO-OO ♪
♪ YOU TOLD ME ONCE, DEAR ♪
♪ HOW YOU REALLY LOVED ME ♪
♪ AND THAT NO ONE ELSE WOULD COME BETWEEN ♪
♪ BUT NOW YOU'VE LEFT ME ♪
♪ YOU LOVE ANOTHER ♪
♪ YOU HAVE SHATTERED ♪
♪ ALL MY DREAMS ♪
♪ BUT YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE ♪
♪ MY ONLY SUNSHINE ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME HAPPY ♪
♪ WHEN SKIES ARE GREY ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, DEAR ♪
♪ HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ♪
♪ PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY ♪
MOO! ♪ NOW DON'T YOU TAKE ♪
♪ MY SUNSHINE AWAY ♪
[ ♪♪♪ ]
♪ WHOO-OO-OO-OO ♪