尼克 你的客人正在厕所里撒尿 Nick! Your house guest is urinating in the bathroom
还一身托尼虎的装扮[美国经典卡通人物] Tony the Tiger style.
-全裸只戴了方巾吗 -什么 - Naked with a kerchief? - What?
全身赤裸 只戴一块方巾吗 Naked with a kerchief.
不 上身穿衣 下面光光该怎么形容 No, what do you call top, no pants?
就像维尼小熊 或是帕丁顿熊 Oh ,that's like a Winnie the Pooh or a Paddington.
美味脆上的那只青蛙 Honey the Smacks Frog.
还有唐老鸭 There's a Donald the Duck.
几乎所有熊都这身打扮 除了瑜伽熊 I guess pretty much any kind of bear except for Yogi
它是全裸只系了条领带 'cause that's naked with a tie.
阿尔文 西蒙 西奥多[均为卡通熊的名字] Alvin, Simon, Theodore.
他的屁股一览无遗 I saw his entire butt.
听着 迪克是个好人 Look, Dirk's a good guy.
他是我读法学院时的室友 He was my roommate when I was in law school.
我所知的头号智者 Smartest guy I know.
这么说 他是个律师咯 So, he's a lawyer?
不 他不是 但他有法学学位 No, he's not a lawyer, but he does have a law degree,
有商学学位 甚至还是农学硕士 a business degree, and a master's in agriculture.
他就像个文凭收藏家似的 He's kind of like a degree collector.
他还是个诗歌博士呢 He's got his PhD in poetry, so...
诗歌界真是倒霉催的 That sucks for poems.
你和那高富帅进展如何 How'd it go with Fancyman?
初次约会可理想了 It was an amazing first date,
虽然最后有点小尴尬 except for one awkward part at the end.
我不常约会的 I don't go on dates very often.
我这年龄段的男人都一心只想跳过约会 Guys my age always want to skip the date
直接伸手捞金 and just go right for the gold,
我可不轻易让他们得逞 which I don't give them
我守着金子一毛不拔 because I'm stingy with my gold.
除非他们亲自动手挖 Unless they dig for it.
我都还没说到尴尬的部分呢 I haven't even gotten to the awkward part yet.
黑色轿车吗 Black sedan?
是 Uh, yeah.
搞什么 What?
他就这么拍了拍我的背 So, he patted me on the back.
我还觉得好歹袭个胸呢 I thought I'd at least get a front pat.
啥 What?
听着 他可能只是太紧张 Look, he probably just got nervous.
不 拉塞尔从来不紧张 No, Russell's never nervous.
这是最不可能的答案 That's the worst answer.
温斯顿 你怎么看 Winston, what do you think?
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
什么事 宝贝 Hey, what's up, baby?
是不是谢尔比的电话 Hey, is that Shelby?
-你这是干啥 -学猫叫 - What was that? - That was a cat sound.
你模仿抽鞭子的声音 我们配合 Oh, because you did the whip, we should've...
-伙计们 -大概还有其他配合方法 - Guys! - It should have been the other way around.
好吧 我去问希希 Okay, I'm just gonna ask Cece.
下次你们要是想征求关于泡妞的建议 But next time you guys want advice about girls,
可别来求我 don't come crawling to me.
-没问题 -听上去可行 - You got it. - That sounds good.
不 我开玩笑的 No, that was a joke.
我超享受你们问我事情 I love it when you guys ask me stuff.
让我觉得自己很有分量 It makes me feel really important.
我可享受了 And I love it...
"光明消逝 暗影蔓延" "One shade the more, One ray the less."
"逐渐侵蚀这难言的美" "Had half impaired the nameless grace."
你系的是女式围巾吗 Are you wearing a ladies' scarf?
明晚来听我的讲座吧 Come to my lecture tomorrow night.
绝对不去 Absolutely not.
她不会去的 兄弟 She's missing out, my man.
-施密特 -什么事 - Hey, Schmidt? - Yeah?
我能借下你的车送谢尔比去机场吗 Mind if I borrow your car to take Shelby to the airport?
我可没有"车" 温斯顿 I don't have a car, Winston.
施密特 我能借下你的 Hey, Schmidt, uh, you mind if I use the, uh,
"兄护车"吗 "Man-bulance"?
兄护车正处在保养期呢 The man-bulance is resting.
为周一那场团队合作修行作准备 He needs to get ready for the corporate team-building retreat on Monday.
没关系 反正你那兄护车也装不下 That's cool. I'm sure the man-bulance couldn't handle
谢尔比的行李 all of Shelby's luggage anyway.
你脑子还正常吗 温斯顿 What the hell is wrong with you, Winston?
就算谢尔比的行李翻个九倍也装得下 The man-bulance could fit the luggage of nine Shelbys.
装下一千个谢尔比都没问题 It has the towing capacity of a thousand Shelbys.
你拿去用吧 温斯顿 You know what? Here you go, Winston.
给你 There you go.
享受这奢侈品吧 Enjoy luxury.
不用 伙计 我有你的备份钥匙 谢了 All good, man. I got your second set, so thank you.
你怎么会有我的备份钥匙 How'd you get my second set of keys?
是谁忘了关门 Hey, someone left your door open.
是谁造就你容颜倾城 Someone left your face beautiful.
这是谁 Who is that?
他叫迪克 Apparently, his name is Dirk.
抱歉 迪克 我名花有主了 Sorry, Dirk, I'm seeing somebody.
但你仍有幸一睹这个 But should that stop you from seeing this?
是啊 帅爆了 Yeah! That's awesome.
和他一起开心吗 Does he keep you happy?
他唯命是从 He does what he's told.
这么说 你是老板 他是你的小秘书咯 So you're the boss and he's your little secretary?
你是"咪书"还差不多 You're a sex-cretary?
我毫无疑问 绝对老板型 I am definitely the boss.
"咪书" 这词是他刚即兴编的 Sex-cretary, he just made that up.
我讨厌参加单身告别派对 I hate bachelorette parties.
我行李里装了大概50种鸡鸡 I have, like 50 different penis items in my carry-on.
要是坠机了 This plane goes down,
海里的鲨鱼就要做一些奇怪的事了 there's gonna be some sharks doing some really weird stuff.
鲨鱼 你不是去维加斯嘛 Sharks? I thought you were going to Vegas?
不 我去墨西哥 我记得跟你讲过 No, I'm going to Mexico. I thought I told you that.
如果你不希望我去 Well, if you don't want me to go,
我就不去 I don't have to go.
不不不 不不 我希望你去 No, no, no, no, no, no, I want you to go.
这样很好 懂吗 It'll be good, you know?
我们在一起黏乎了五个晚上 We spent the last five nights together.
我是说 分开点好 距离产生美嘛 I mean, you know, we both could use some space.
是啊 Right.
-我是不是说错啥了 -你说什么 - Did I say something wrong? - What?
抱歉 你离得太远我听不见 I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you across all the space.
好消息 杰茜在洗澡 Great news, um, Jess is taking a shower.
听着 我只需要 十分钟的私密好时光 Okay, I just need, like, a good, solid ten minutes.
先把这麦片能量棒吃了 Eat this granola bar first.
我们玩点新花样 "卧槽立马"式 I want to try something called the horse trough.
不 希希 No, Cece.
我现在没法跟你滚床单 I'm not having sex with you right now.
我要把公司所有员工的名字 I have to get everybody in the company's name
输进"不是我放的火"的名录里 into a version of "We Didn't Start the Fire."
没事你忙 需要多久 二十分钟够吗 Totally fine. What do you need, like, 20 minutes?
希希 这可是正经工作 Cece, this... Okay, this is real work
是我正经的上司派给我的 for my real boss who is not you.
我知道你在闹什么脾气了 Oh, I get what's happening here.
就因为马尾男管你叫"情欲招待" It's 'cause Ponytail called you a "sex receptionist."
"情欲招待"一整天就只管接电话 A sex receptionist answers calls all day.
"咪书"至少能安排行程 整理文件 A sex-cretary does scheduling, light filing,
基本上是管整个办公室了 basically runs the office.
所以首先呢 So, first of all,
感谢你给我降职 thank you for the demotion.
其次 老子不干了 And second of all, I quit.
那行 晚上见 So, I'll see you tonight.
你是把我说的当耳旁风吗 Did you not hear anything I just said?
没啊 你说的每个字我都听得清清楚楚 Oh, no, I totally heard you loud and clear, but
不过有俩小淘气碰巧没听到呢 do you know who didn't happen to hear you?
你这是在干嘛 What are you doing?
别把它俩扯进来 Don't-don't-don't involve them.
我了个去 Oh, my...
它俩真的没听到 They just didn't hear.
别把它俩扯进来 Don't bring them into this.
别跟我说 Don't tell me.
跟它俩说去 Tell them.
妈的 Damn it.
那谁 哈罗德 库玛 I guess, uh, Harold, Kumar,
我爱... 爱死你俩了 I love... I love you both.
那些一同嬉戏的美好时光啊 All the zany adventures we've had.
但我今天不能与你俩共赴巫山了 But we can't go to White Castle today.
实在无能为力 Just can't do it.
你是跟我来真的啊 You're serious about this?
希希 Cece?
施密特是不是在骚扰你 Is Schmidt bothering you?
这事儿没完 This is not over. Okay?
他那是爱抚 还是轻拍 Was it like a caress or like a... like a pat?
不 是轻拍 是轻拍妥妥的 No, like a pat. It was distinctly a pat,
说起来那感觉还特撩人 and it was actually kind of hot.
这男人轻拍技术了得 The man knows how to pat a back.
你那晚是不是又模仿克米特青蛙了 At any point during the night, did you do your Kermit the Frog imitation? 着名卡通木偶青蛙
可能吧 Maybe.
就一两次 Once or twice.
别 打住 我听你学一次疯一次 No, stop, it freaks me out and you know.
我到底该怎么办 Well, what do I do?
我真的 很想再见到他 发自肺腑的 I really, really want to see him again, like, badly.
-那就给他打电话 -我办不到 - You just call him. - I can't.
他那么成熟老练 He's too sophisticated.
他跟我说他和公牛赛跑过 He told me he'd run with the bulls,
他原话是 and I quote,
"可不是潘普洛纳那供逗游客乐的公牛"[西班牙城市] "Not the touristy bulls in Pamplona."
什么大不了的 快打给他 Big deal. Just call him.
施密特说 只要女人拿起手机把郎盼 Schmidt says the moment a woman touches a phone,
神韵魅力就消散 除非是在发情色短信 she loses her power unless she's sexting,
那样的话 魅力立马回一半 in which case, she gains a half power.
那又怎样 刚施密特还说 Okay, well, that's Schmidt just talking...
我是说 施密特懂个屁 I mean, what does Schmidt know?
你看看你生活圈里的人 一群小男生 Look, all the guys that you live with-- boys.
你只跟小男生交往过 You've only dated boys.
拉塞尔是一个成熟的男人 Russell is a grown man,
我打赌他喜欢那种 and I bet he likes women
知道自己要什么并主动争取的女人 who know what they want and ask for it.
他有个热气球 放在棕泉市的飞机棚里 He has a hot air balloon in a hangar in Palm Springs.
好了 亲爱的 你也可以成熟老练 Okay, sweetheart, you are sophisticated.
你所要做的就是拿起电话 You've just got to pick up the phone,
邀请他出来共进晚餐 and you ask him out for dinner.
你说得对 我也可以成熟老练 You know what? You're right. I am sophisticated.
我这就打给他 I'm gonna do this.
这是什么玩意 What is that?
是手机啊 It's a phone.
我的天 Oh, God.
如是 我们时光之旅到此结束了 And thus ends our journey through the words of time.
从迪伦·托马斯[英国诗人]到鲍勃·迪伦[美国诗人] From Dylan Thomas to Bob Dylan,
始于迪伦 止于迪伦 from Dylan to Dylan.
俩人都叫迪伦 They're both named Dylan.
好戏来了 老弟 Watch him bring it home, man.
我能不听吗 Do I have to?
"我们无法抑制怒火" "We have to rage."
"盛怒于光的消逝" "Rage against the dying of the light."
"若那光已 明亮不再" "And when the light is no longer bright."
"切勿思量 万事安康" "Don't think twice, it's all right."
到此结束 It's over.
太睿智了 Smartest guy I know.
教授 Professor?
-教授 -怎么了 - Professor? - Yeah?
我们就想提醒你一下 We wanted to remind you about
这演讲之后还有茶话会 the post-lecture wine and cheese event.
社交晚宴吗 A soiree, eh?
超级高端的哟 Super classy.
薄脆饼干 美酒蟹肉 鹰嘴豆泥 Crackers, bubbles, crab, hummus.
是啊 之前我有给您发邮件说过 Yeah, I-I e-mailed you about that. That was me.
每当我收到长篇累牍的电邮 Oh, sometimes when I get a really long e-mail...
我就索性不看了 I don't read it.
再见 Bye.
我的亲娘 Oh, Mommy.
好了 迪克 你和黛比怎样了 All right, Dirk, what about Deb?
还在闹别扭什么的吗 You guys having problems or something?
不不不 一切顺利 No, no, no, everything's fine.
她离开我 搬出去了 She left me and moved out of the house.
大概是因为"没法再支持我"了 I guess it was "Too hard to support me."
"经济问题" "Financially."
不过没事 她的离去让我意识到 It's all fine; her leaving has allowed me to realize
一件我人生所失之憾 the one thing that was missing in my life.
围巾吗 Scarves?
女大学生们 Undergraduate ladies.
我们这年龄的女孩 她们想要什么 You see, girls our age, what do they want?
想结婚 想给孩子找个父亲 They want us to wed them, sire their children.
-希望你有个容身之处 -对 没错 - They want you to have a-a bedframe. - Right, yeah.
还希望你吃饭时把盘子舔干净 They want you to eat off plates,
但大学里的女孩们 but girls in college
她们只想听你夸奖 all they want you to do
自己的摄影作品拥有无限潜力 is tell them that their photography has potential.
没错 但她们应该更想和同龄小伙子约会吧 Yeah, but don't they want to hang out wth guys their own age?
你和20来岁的小男生混过吗 Have you hung out with a 20-year-old dude lately?
-相信我 他们各种无下限 -我信 - Trust me, they are setting the bar very, very low. - Right.
还处在时时想搞基的阶段呢 They haven't even gone through their gay phase yet.
伙计 我去给谢尔比打个电话 Hey, man, I'm gonna give Shelby a call really quick.
看看她是不是一切顺利 Just want to check on her, see if everything's all right.
祝你好运 兄弟 Sounds good, man.
什么啊 老兄 没事的好吗 What, dude, relax, okay?
我只是说应该保持点距离 I just said we're gonna give each other space,
不代表我不能给她打电话 对吗 doesn't mean I can't call her, right,
聊聊飞机上的趣闻啊什么的 to see if anything funny happened on the plane.
你懂"距离"的含义吗 You know what "Space" means, right?
就是让她去和别人滚床单 That's space to have sex with other people.
不对 距离的意思是 让她去墨西哥 No, space means you go to Mexico,
但不许和别人滚床单 and you do not have sex with other people.
看好了 Watch this.
尼克 来点亲密无间的 Nick, don't give my any space.
没问题 You got it, my man.
看见了吗 这样就几乎 See, this makes it pretty hard
把咱俩上床的可能性降为零了 对吗 for you and I to have sex right now, doesn't it?
现在 尼克 和我保持距离 Now, Nick, I want you to give me some space.
没问题 You got it.
有了距离之后 All this space allows me opportunity
想咋上床就咋整了 to have as much sex as we want.
太聪明了 Smartest guy I know.
想想我们现在能打多少炮 See how much sex we could be having?
那 那真是 That-that does...
离我远点 你这书呆子 Get out of my way, bookworms!
准备好向学生妹们开炮了吗 You ready to make love to some college chicks?
你上次来一发是什么时候 When's the last time you had mono?
不记得了 I don't know.
等到明天 你就该回答是昨天了 Tomorrow, you're gonna say yesterday.
这是您要的团队建设调查 施密特先生 I have that team-building research you asked for, Mr. Schmidt.
你 穿的这是啥呀 What... are you wearing?
我也不知道 I don't... I don't know.
我在健身房的失物招领处捡到的 I mean, I found this at the lost and found at the gym.
我实在不清楚"咪书"该怎么性感 I'm not really sure how sexy a sex-cretary is supposed to be.
我以前从来不用费这神 I've never had to do this.
我从没刻意勾引过谁 I've never had to seduce somebody before.
如果你想勾引我 If you're gonna seduce me,
别打扮得像我弗里达姨妈在逾越节家宴上似的 don't dress up like my aunt Frieda at Seder.
来吧 好吗 Come on, okay?
地点 体位 全部悉听尊便 I will do anything, and I'll do it anywhere.
行吗 All right?
就算去三号幻想地点 Even fantasy location...
也行吗 number three?
好吧 Okay.
甲壳虫乐队怎样 How good are the Beatles?
甲壳虫是最棒的 Beatles are the best.
他们解散的时候你一定很失落吧 Were you so upset when they broke up?
我本会伤心至今的 那时我孤身一人 I would have been, but I was one.
你现在可不再孤身了 Well, you're not one anymore.
你的前列腺还好吗 How's your prostate?
上个礼拜我检查了乳腺 I had my breast exam last week,
它们很好 and, like, they're fine.
就是胸部嘛 It's just boob in there,
但是我们该谨慎对待 but we have to be careful.
肉体可是在不断衰老的 Our bodies are decaying.
你还好吧 Are you okay?
看起来怪怪的 You seem strange.
那晚我们为什么没接吻 Why didn't we kiss the other night?
对不起 Sorry.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
没关系 No, it's fine.
-怎么了 -我... - What? - Hey, I...
-还好吧 -我得走了 - Is everything okay? - Oh. I got to go.
-这些用来付饭钱 -好 - This ought to take care of the dinner. - Yeah.
好吗 Okay?
我居然差点忘了... Oh, I cannot believe I almost left without, um...
这是打的钱 Here, there's cab fare.
注意安全 Get home safe.
宝贝 听着 我不想保持距离了 好吗 Baby, look, I don't want space, okay?
我们俩谁都不要保持距离 I don't want anyone to have space.
我就想站在你面前 I want to be standing right in front of you.
鼻间吸入之气 I want the air that you breathe
全是你呼出的芳香 to be the air coming directly from out of my mouth.
我想与你呼吸缠绵 I want to just be passing air back and forth
直到氧气全变成二氧化碳 between each other until it's mostly carbon dioxide
我俩一同昏死殉情 and then we both pass out and die.
今晚没有航班了 No flights tonight.
施密特 你介意我再借用一下你的车吗 Hey, Schmidt, do you mind if I borrow your car again?
"当然不了 温斯顿 你那么棒" "Of course you can, Winston. You're so great."
谢谢 Thank you!
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翻译：真月镜威 狐朋狗友萨拉丁 A梦 丢丢曳 喜乐儿 ■
时间轴：Joanna 压制：玉树临风好油油 ■
校对&总监：风流倜傥乖乖木 ■
我叫尼克拉斯 Hey, my name's Nicholas.
尼克 尼克 Nick, Nick.
哥们 没人会后悔参加庆功宴 Buddy, nobody ever regretted throwing an after party.
不 我后悔了 Oh, I do.
迪克 我待这真显老 Dirk, I feel so old here.
现在叫女孩"小不点"还流行吗 Is calling a girl "Shorty" Still cool?
我们来挖掘一下你对女大学生的吸引力吧 We just got to find your angle with these college girls.
你的魅力 你勾搭妹子的才能 Your hook, your panty-melter.
我的魅力通常都是在打烊时间 只剩我在那 Usually, my hook is that it's closing time, and I'm there.
你可曾是法学院的勾搭人的招牌选手 You were a panty-melting icon in law school.
如果说妹子们的内内是雪人 If panties were snowmen,
你就是那三月的烈日 老兄 you were March, bro.
-别 别这样 -斯凯乐 蜜莉恩 - Don't-don't do this. - Skyler, Miriam,
-过来一下 -别让我丢脸了 迪克 - Come over here for a second. - Don't humiliate me, Dirk.
我朋友尼克有多帅 How cool is my friend, Nick?
你也是教授吗 Are you a professor, too?
不不不 我是个酒保 No, no, no, I'm a bartender.
三十岁 30 years old,
没有医疗保险 I don't have health insurance.
你会调酒吗 You know how to make drinks?
尽情勾搭吧 Panty-melter.
你是问我 会不会调饮料吗 Do I know how to make drinks, did you say?
没错 比如酒精类饮料 Yeah, like alcoholic drinks?
会啊 我可是专业级的 Yeah, I do that professionally.
你能用专业水准把我灌醉吗 You could get me drunk professionally?
你是警察吗 Are you a cop?
有时是 Sometimes.
你有带身份证明吗 Do you have identification on you?
我要给珍娜打个电话 I gotta call Jenna
告诉她我在和一个酒保亲热 and tell her I'm making out with a bartender.
一周五晚哦 Five nights a week.
杰茜 你来参加派对啦 Jess, you made it to the party!
发生什么了 What's going on?
为什么《社交网络》剧组跑我们家来了 Why is the cast of the Social Network in our apartment?
迪克就是个天才 Dirk is a genius!
二十岁的小姑娘 她们觉得我酷毙了 20-year-old girls-- they think I'm awesome!
你看她们 And look at 'em!
她们连《解救的钟声》都没听说过 They don't know what Saved by the Bell is 电视剧 1989年上映
真是少不更事 and they've never felt pain.
斯凯乐把我当高富帅 I'm Skyler's Fancyman!
你能相信吗 Can you believe it?
你的高富帅呢 他人呢 Where's your Fancyman? Where is he?
我不知道 情况太糟了 I don't know. It was horrible.
他提前离开 留下一百块钱 He left and gave me $100
给我打车用 for a cab!
你猜怎样 You know what?
我要用剩下的九十块 I'm gonna use the remaining 90
离开这儿 重新生活 to get out of here and start a new life.
认识你很高兴 It's been nice knowing you.
我要孤老终身了 I'm gonna die alone!
不 Oh, no!
我现在非常 非常悲伤 I am so, so sad right now.
我心都要碎了 My heart hurts!
要让尼克给你调杯杨梅微风吗 You want Nick to make you a bayberry breeze?
-因为他超聪明的 -超聪明 - 'Cause he is so smart. - So smart.
是的 我需要 非常需要 Yes, I do. Yes, I do!
给你 This.
老娘不爽 三十岁烂透了 I'm not happy! 30 sucks!
这样子真怪怪的 Weird party move.
都俩小时了 It's been two hours.
真是太疯狂了 This is officially crazy.
而且 我还想上厕所 Also, I have to go to the bathroom.
尿在身上好了 Just pee yourself.
所以你宁愿接下来一路都 So you'd rather sit in my urine
坐在我的小便上 for the rest of the car ride
也不愿向温斯顿承认我们俩上床了吗 than admit to Winston that we're sleeping together?
是的 没错 想都不用想 Yep, absolutely. Don't even have to think about it.
我不想破坏这份关系好吗 I don't want to ruin what we have, okay?
因为如果大家发现了 Because if people find out,
他们会问一堆问题 they're gonna have a lot of questions,
比如"希希 你为什么和他上床" like, "Cece, why are you sleeping with him?"
"说真的 到底为毛啊" And, "Seriously, why?"
你是说我们现在这关系值得维护吗 You think we have something to ruin?
之前 我打扮得像个"咪"书 Earlier, I was dressed as a sex-cretary.
还塞了垫肩 And I was wearing shoulder pads.
所以很显然 So I obviously
我喜欢和你上床 must like sleeping with you.
是秘"骚" A secre-tarty.
讨厌 Shut... up.
这样感觉真好 This is pretty great.
顺便说句 我冻僵了 I'm freezing, by the way.
冷死了 I'm so cold.
你怎么会不冷的 How are you not freezing?
难道棕色皮肤能保温吗 Do your brown skin retain heat?
敞胸怀开喝 特雷弗 Take out your tampon and drink, Trevor!
翻杯女王发话了 The Flip Queen has spoken!
喝 喝 喝 喝 喝 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
喝 喝 喝 喝 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
谢尔比 Shelby.
宝贝 我不想保持距离了 Babe, I don't want space.
我也不要 Neither do I!
所以我去了你家 That's why I'm at your apartment.
我坐飞机回来了 我想见你 I got on a plane. I wanted to see you.
什么 What?!
宝贝 我在墨西哥 我是来见你的 Babe, look, I'm in Mexico. I came to see you.
真的假的 Are you serious?
我好想你 谢尔比 I miss you, Shelby.
你如此性感 姑娘 You're so sexy, girl.
不管戴没戴假发 In or out of the wig.
我都不在乎了 谢尔比 I don't care. Shelby.
你使我勇气倍增 宝贝 You make me so feel brave, babe,
你对我而言是史无前例独一无二的 and I've never felt like this about anybody else before.
我爱你 I love you.
无论去哪儿我都放着你的灵魂之歌 And I carry your soul-song with me wherever I go.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
我这就回来 宝贝 再也不分开 I'm coming back, baby. No space!
你有和任何非美国公民一起上路吗 Are you traveling with any non-US citizens?
你就用这句台词抓人吗 You actually catch people with that line?
没有 警官 只有我和我的美国心 No, sir, just me and my American heart...
满满都是爱哟 full of love.
那你怎么解释 Then how do you explain...
这个 this?
解释不了 警官 I can't... sir.
全世界没人能解释这个 No one in the entire world can explain that.
我好高 I am so tall!
就像那个中国篮球运动员 I feel like a Chinese basketball player.
拉塞尔 Russell?
杰茜 Hey, Jess.
我不是杰茜 I'm not Jess.
我是她表妹 西尔维亚 I'm her cousin... Sylvia.
你还好吗 Are you doing okay?
我想吃甜甜圈 I want a donut.
那我们去买甜甜圈 Then let's get you a donut.
拜托 Please?
我想单独和你谈谈 I want to talk to you... alone.
真是个有趣的小团体 Well, this is a fun group.
你能在宿舍放我下车吗 Can you drop me off at my dorm?
在哈密尔顿 It's called Hamilton.
我想吐 I'd like to vomit now.
老天 God!
我竟然从行驶的车上跳了下来 I've never jumped out of a moving car before!
真是帅呆了 That was bad-ass!
-孩子 -好了 - Hey, uh, kiddo. - Okay.
-尼克 那边是马路 -啥事儿 - Nick, that's the road. - What's up?
你得去树林 You want the woods.
我得去树林 你真聪明 拉塞 I want the woods. You're smart, Russ.
-抱抱 -这没什么 - Come here. - Hey, it was nothing.
你很好 拉塞 You're okay, Russ.
好了 我们一会儿再抱 Okay, we can hug some more later.
你知道她不是这样的 This isn't her, you know.
她和我们不一样 She's not like us.
她是个好姑娘 She's one of the good ones.
呕吐时间到了 拉塞尔 Time to make the puke, Russell.
听好了 我们之间是平等的性关系 So listen, man, it's-it's really important to us
我俩谁都没占上风 that our completely equal sexual relationship
这一点真的很重要 where neither one of us has the upper hand,
请你一定保密 而且我尊重你 uh, remain a secret, and while I respect the fact that
你独处时听《魔法坏女巫》这个习惯 you listen to Wicked while you're alone,
我也能随时随地 I could use that information against you
把这事儿给抖出来 at any point in time.
顺便提下 那儿有个停车标志 那里 By the way, there's a stop sign, like, right up...
那是停车标志吗 Is that a stop sign?
你该减速了 Well, you'd probably want to slow down...
-我的天 -也许是个通行标志 - Oh, my God. - Maybe it's a go sign.
那不是通行标志 I don't think it's a go sign.
如果连你这种人 Because if somebody like you
都能泡上她这样的妞 is sleeping with someone like her,
那这天杀的世界整个乱套了 then maybe the whole damn world is upside down!
我就随便想想 It's just what I'm thinking.
我想和你聊聊 And I want to talk to you.
我想好好解释 I want to have a chance to explain.
没关系 我懂 That's okay. I understand.
我之前 以为 I just... I thought
你喜欢熟女 可现在我明白了 you wanted a sophisticated lady, but now I realize that
你喜欢和年轻女孩约会 因为我们认为你很酷 you like dating younger girls 'cause we think you're cool.
你猜怎样 And you know what?
这招还真管用 因为 It's working because...
我真觉得你真是个极品帅哥 I think you're a hotty with a body.
我要告诉你 我不是因为 I got to tell you, I didn't ask you out
你比我年轻 才和你约会的 because you're younger than me.
我和你约会是因为我喜欢你 I asked you out because I like you.
可我已经忘了 该怎么约年轻女孩子 But I-I've forgotten really how... how to do this, you know.
自从1989年那次后 我就再没约过会了 I haven't dated since 1989...
那时我开着越野车载她去看画展 when I took her to the picture show in my buggy.
1989年 那会儿 1989 was, my friend,
我才刚学会怎么用烤面包机呢 the year that I learned to use the toaster by myself.
晚餐收到的短信是我前妻的 The text I got at dinner was from my ex-wife.
莎拉这周末和她在一起 Sarah's with her this weekend.
我没把她的吸入器带上 I didn't pack her inhaler.
她哮喘发作了 She was having an asthma attack.
-莎拉还好吗 -很好 - Is Sarah okay? - Yeah.
谢谢 我 Yeah. Thanks. I-I...
我只是觉得我该解释一下 I just feel like I should have explained.
那天晚上我真的 And I really wanted to kiss you
-很想吻你 -真的 - the other night. - Really?
我不仅想吻你 I wanted to do more than kiss you.
我还想做你 某种意义上 I'd like to do you, at some point.
真的 Like, you know, really,
和你好好爽一番 really give it to you good.
可我忘了怎么把握 Uh, but I've forgotten how to tell
正确的时机 whether it's the right moment.
我很紧张 I was nervous.
你紧张了 You were nervous?
尼克说的对 Nick was right.
他有时候真挺聪明的 He can be really wise sometimes.
天啊 真的发生了 Oh, my God, it's happening!
末日来了 我要死了 It's coming! I think I'm dying!
我胆战心惊又心潮澎湃 I feel scared and excited!
你觉得呢 What do you think?
我觉得什么 What do I think of what?
你觉得现在时机对吗 Do you think now is the right moment?
我觉得对 I think so.
很好 Good.
你这毒药 从我体内滚出来 Get out of me, you poison!
那是你的手吗 Is that your hand?
不是 No.
是我的手 That's my hand.
-我的天 -不用谢 -Oh my God! -You are welcome.
滚开 迪克 Get out of here Dirk.
你们去哪儿了 Where are you guys?
-喂 -你们在哪儿 - Hello? - Where are you guys?
我得走下山吗 Could I walk down to the mountains?
这小山丘啥时候变这么大座山了 When does the hill became a mountain? It just happened.
我冷死了 I'm so cold.
你谁啊 Who is that?
我的天 迪克挂了 Oh my God! Dirk is dead.
迪克挂了 Dirk is dead!
我所知的头号智者 Smartest guy I knew.