you know what's going to happen now
thank you for coming take a seat what's
your name summer day because you're
longer than most what's your name my
name is Kaden Kaden with AC we think
like the Kardashians okay like other
things that start with K like the KKK
not this one K what's your name Zack
rhymers I'm pretty new at casting have
you ever done any adult films before not
like I mean no so in Australia our
summer would technically be their winter
I got it
you have a fever and what's your last
name it's cross okay with a C okay so
two K's okay what's your middle name it
doesn't start with a k okay in order to
get a better feel for you and see how
you'd fit into this I just have a couple
of personal questions if that's okay how
old were you when you lost your parents
health insurance in two years we just
have to make sure that you're covered
are you guys covered because it sounds
like you should be covered that sounds
like a personal question
that I'm not really ready to answer at
this point and you can get hurt we can
hurt you well I mean pain is beauty
raise took the words right out of the
title of our movie what's the name of
this a company that's not a good
question that's your first misstep so
just to get a little bit of your do's
and don'ts are you willing to on camera
help a friend move I mean I mean for the
the duration of the shoot I mean could
be four to six rooms are you open to
attending an outright rally depends it's
it's just for an adult film sure yeah
great how about helping someone you just
met move I mean I don't even know what
yeah next Saturday no moving them to
Hollywood moving the couch or sitting on
okay are you willing to be ceremoniously
murdered by your friends only to come
back to life okay well what does it mean
you're naked on the table and you go in
your back alive you have some puncture
wounds yeah yeah are you open to putting
back up monuments of Confederate
soldiers I'm good I'm gonna do it I mean
I'm doing we're just trying to find your
lines here how old do you follow
directions well enough Simon Says touch
your nose
Simon Says move my couch Simon Says
bring your own truck Simon Says the keys
under the mat I won't be there you're
not on any performance-enhancing drug
you're not on any performance-enhancing
drugs so you're very familiar with the
schoolgirl roll oh yeah if I can just
see how you perform I have these times
tables right here you have a minute you
know the minute started 30 seconds okay
there's a lot of seven times five that's
one of the hardest ones it's not it's
not for you don't write your name are
you writing your name did you mess up
seven times five because that's a tricky
one you did I did but I got it right now
I'm gonna be very impressed if even a
third of these are correct I can't write
numbers that I'm making up that quickly
and time how'd you do I well I was just
about to correct them when I was writing
can I fix the lines writing no I see the
one that you fixed and I'm marking you
wrong so no one cuz I fixed it I'm
giving you an A for attitude thank you
no it's not a good a great no only it's
a bad a I've never had a better now you
do know the first bad a I don't accept
it that's about it you're feisty that's
it you're done
holy crap alright I'm gonna level with
you here you shouldn't be an actor you
should be an accountant this is the most
impressive math I've ever seen and I've
been making adult films for a very long
time thank you thank you what are some
of your favorite positions the ones that
are calling the shots I like those
positions got it like CEO operations
what's your favorite position can you
show me doggy what are you doing hold on
we've got an expert on this can you send
her in yeah this is poppy toots she's
the best in the biz
that's how you do doggy a dog wouldn't
sing do this it is she's dressed for the
occasions I mean it she's a star Oh
crushing it we're not gonna be the same
movie that right not with this attitude
remember you got a name it's you stop
smiling about that that's not a good
thing do you think you could handle a
large sausage 36 inches yeah about that
yes yeah
could you reach under the couch and just
pull out what's underneath there this is
this is so large that you can't take it
out from under the couch
do you you can handle all that I think
so yeah are you down to try to pee pee
meet you do you know to tastes I don't
think we have two days I just like the
bubbles actually you're just eating the
bubbles of the pizza you're just ruining
a giant pizza I have to say this is the
most disgusting appalling thing I've
ever seen I can't watch that anymore I'm
nauseous
one last thing I just need you to bend
over this desk and look right into this
camera just put your hands up there and
then I'm gonna come around behind you do
you know what's going to happen now bend
over put your button here oh yeah don't
squint like that just like look just
look into it you can get a taller camera
only a poor workman blames his tools
look into the camera make eye contact
with the camera with the camera what do
you think is gonna happen now
did you think that was going to happen
that's the meaning I would never do that
do you know what's gonna happen I don't
but I don't trust it all right you know
what I don't either job I'm good
did you know that was gonna happen
didn't know that was gonna happen do you
know what's gonna happen no it can't any
cannon or something yeah that was like
the best surprise I've gotten for a long
time what you disgust me oh yes there's
nothing that you've done in this room
that tells me that you are on the right
life path having said that I think I
could put you in our film all right all
right you booked it I mean you just seem
like not many things sneak up on you or
surprise you very much you're good just
walk out no nothing surprises her you're
fine yeah clearly for both of us