This programme contains some strong language.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
It's Sunday night,
I'm Jools Holland, and this is Self Esteem.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I-I, I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I-I, I am not your mother And nor should you want me to be
# Falling asleep on my chest is your fantasy
# But where does that leave me?
# Who's holding me?
# I am not your therapist You don't pay me enough for this
# Work on your own shit, yeah, cos it's your shit
# And get back to me
# And we can see
# I am not your cleaner, your tailor, wide-eyed believer
# My memory is clear to me
# Cos guess what? Yeah, I was listening
# Guess what? Yeah, I was listening
# I recommend
# Listening
# I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I am not your mother, I'm not your mother, I am not your mum
# I-I, I don't need perfection I just need reflection
# And a sense of knowing
# You're growing
# Are you interested
# In growing?
# There is other literature outside of The Catcher In The Rye
# And the mind is a knife if you try hard enough
# Are you gonna try hard?
# I recommend
# Listening
# I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I am not your mother I'm not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I am not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I am not your mother
# I am not your mum
# I don't need solutions Ay-ay
# I just wanna be heard Ay-ay
# I don't need solutions Ay-ay
# I just wanna be heard
# I am not your mother, I'm not your mother, I am not your mum
# Oh, I am not your mother. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Thank you, Self Esteem!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Most spectacular-looking opening we've had for ages.
Who are our other guests? Let's keep the applause rolling
because we have Guy Garvey... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
..we have Tom Odell...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
..from Chicago, Ezra Furman... APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
..South London's Greentea Peng...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
But now, from Leeds, it's Emma-Jean Thackray.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# I don't wanna die
# I just wanna sleep a while
# Maybe forever
# I'll say that I'm fine
# It's easier than I want to wake up ever
# Please don't ask me why
# I just tell a little lie, I'm doing better
# I wish I still got high
# But I can't handle it, it won't help
# Not whatsoever
# I am doing fine
# I'm not gonna cry
# I don't wanna die
# Except for all the times I do
# I'm not gonna cry
# At least I'm gonna try,
# But, hey, whatever
# Don't look in my eyes
# I can't promise that I'll keep my ish together
# I don't wanna die
# Die, die
# Die
# I am doing fine
# I'm not gonna cry
# I don't wanna die
# Except for all the times I do
# I am doing fine
# I'm not gonna cry
# I don't wanna die
# Except for all the times I do
# I am doing fine
# I'm not gonna cry
# I don't wanna die
# Except for all the times I do
# I am doing fine
# I'm not gonna cry
# I don't wanna die
# Except for all the times I do
# I am doing fine
# I'm not gonna cry
# I don't wanna die
# Except for all the times I do. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
From her latest album, Weirdo, thank you, Emma-Jean Thackray!
And, by the way, her album, Weirdo, she plays almost everything herself.
She's an absolute musical marvel. You are a marvel!
Yes!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
And now I chat to a person that's delighted to welcome back
to the show, who gave us that unbelievably stunning opening.
We welcome Self Esteem.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
It's nice to have you back on the programme.
Thanks for having me.
And it's great. I have to say,
that was one of the most stunning beginnings of a programme
we've ever had. Visually, nothing like it.
Where did all that come from - the costumes, the dance, the lot?
I don't know what you're talking about!
No, we've been sort of workshopping it for a long time.
I work with a guy called Tom Scutt on the show,
and my choreographer, Stuart Rogers, and, yeah, a lot of thought.
I've done a sort of full theatrical version of my album to launch it.
And this is the first time we've took it out of the theatre,
so that was a good start.
It looked amazing,
but the whole look of this is a very important part,
cos you've been involved with the theatre quite a lot
because you have... Your record, you put on
at the Duke Of York's Theatre as a show, and you were also in Cabaret.
Yes. Do you have more theatrical ambitions?
I hope so. I really like it cos you don't have to travel!
Good manoeuvre! You just get to go and be brilliant,
one place every night, and you go back to your own bed.
But, no, I love it. I've always...
Music is theatre, it all blends into one for me,
but, yeah, it makes complete sense.
But it was quite relaxing being emotional as another character,
rather than being emotional as Rebecca Lucy Taylor,
cos I've had 38 years of doing that, and I'm knackered.
So it's like a nice rest, acting, pretend to be someone else.
It really was. I did Cabaret for five months
and it was like a holiday from being me, which I loved.
Maybe doctors should give that advice.
Go and act being somebody else for...
Yeah, go and be in a West End musical relentlessly!
And the last time you came on the show,
you'd written down a great pyramid of goals.
I did. Now, I was interested because you had
"being on Hootenanny" -
which you were a couple of years ago, which was a fantastic triumph -
"nominated for a Brit" - which you were -
"appear on Celebrity Gogglebox."
I don't know if it was "to have a huge hit record",
which you record - congratulations, cos it's a top-five record.
But are you a manifestation guru, do you think?
I am a manifestation guru, yes. LAUGHTER
Or I've just been incredibly lucky,
or I might have set my goals too low, I don't know!
Too low?! Hootenanny?! Please!
No way, I want to come back! Oh, OK, right. I loved it.
So what is the craft of being a manifester - what should people do?
I think you've just got to - like, writing down what you want to do,
and then every day you wake up trying to do something towards that,
even if it's, like, tiny.
So, now, I wanted to be on the Bake Off...
Can I just say, compared to the Hootenanny - I love Bake Off,
but compared to the Hootenanny, modest ambition.
You were too kind to me,
and the top of my goal was Jools Holland Hootenanny...
Oh! ..and I did it ages ago now, so whatever!
But, yeah, I've got to do a new triangle.
My new triangle says, "Loads of money."
LAUGHTER
That's interesting.
So you've just got, "Loads of money," sort that out.
Loads of money. That won't be complicated at all.
Any other things in the pyramid?
Um, well, I'd like a home.
No, like, it's a bit broader - it's like sustaining my life
as a dynamic artist with different projects is the goal now.
Which is so nice. I didn't think...
Once upon a time, it just said, "Get a tube poster."
And now I've got loads of them.
So, yeah, it's amazing.
What are you going to be playing for us
at the end of the programme tonight?
I'm going to play a song called The Deep Blue Okay, which is
the last track on my album. It's a bit of a conclusion song.
It's a bit of a sister song to I Do This All The Time, which is
what I played for the first time on Jools Holland. Yeah.
It's quite different to the song you opened with. It's quite different.
My album is very, like, whiplashy genre-wise,
it's complicated and it's called A Complicated Woman - out now.
Oh, you're not meant to do that on the BBC, are you?
No, I'm meant to do that for you.
A Complicated Woman, marvellous, it's a great top-five record,
so it's great. I can't believe it. But it's quite a different song,
isn't it, to the song you opened with? Yes.
That one is one side of me, and the one you see later is another one.
And all my amazing...
My amazing sisters are going to be in it, too.
Not only will I say it's fantastic to have you back on the show,
but maybe we could just have a look at the amazing sisters there,
cos it was an incredible performance earlier.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
The likes of which we haven't seen, and maybe we'll never see again.
Thank you, Self Esteem.
Thank you so much. Lovely to see you again.
Thank you. Can't wait to hear the second song.
And thank you for all of the marvellous...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
And now, with The Power Of The Moon,
from her brand-new album Goodbye Small Head,
please welcome Ezra Furman.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# Plans power
# Train goes by upside-down in a puddle
# And I'm feeling a little ill
# What's my problem?
# I think I see a promise from God in a rainbow on an oil spill
# It's just a light from above making patterns
# In some wasted human fuel
# So why go looking for an infinite mercy
# Like you're digging through trash for a jewel?
# But I guess we all have our moments
# When we find logic constraining
# We take the frame from the painting
# And let the colours bleed out into the room
# But once the colours are running
# You can't turn nothing back into something
# You've lost your warm, sunny picture
# And now you live under the power of the moon
# Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
# Oh, come on
# Come on, jewels
# 3am, kicking trash down the gutter on the boulevard of broken brains
# What's the blues but a lust for affection
# Plus the sound of the whistle on a far-off train?
# The human mind is a maze in the hedges on the lawn of a distant king
# You catch a glimpse of a great golden doorway
# Once or twice in a lifetime of wandering, whoo!
# Yeah, but some of us don't forget it
# The memory stays embedded
# We chase the shine of a doorway
# We're not even sure we really saw
# And the moon keeps appearing
# The headlight on the train we've been hearing
# Yeah, we're on the track of something
# And it's gonna run into us soon
# Under the power of the moon
# Mm, ah, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
# Ooh
# Under the power
# The power of the moon My, my, my-my
# Yes, we're on TV
# They put us on TV
# And they let us on TV
# Oooh... #
Hi, Mom.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Thank you, Ezra Furman, wonderful to have you back in this room.
But now, over here, our next artist.
There is something great about going past all of you each time -
you would make a perfect addition to any set!
Thank you for bringing everybody.
Yes, let's have a round of applause for just bringing such
a fantastic cast.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
And making the effort to dress properly.
Now, our next artist is an incredibly talented fellow.
He's had endless top-ten records, he's got lots of awards,
he's just been on tour with Billie Eilish,
but most of all I'm pleased that he's here right now.
We welcome the wonderful Tom Odell. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# You put on your clothes and you kiss me
# You pour out a miniature whisky
# You look through the glass at the city
# When it gets dark, it's so pretty
# We fell in love very quick
# Something about us just clicked
# Maybe we're sick, sick in our hearts
# You touch me and I fall apart
# The buildin' is fillin' with smoke
# You read me that poem you wrote
# It gives me hope
# And it makes me choke
# And I've got my head in your palms
# I stare at the scars on your arms
# Don't let me go
# I won't let you go
# I lay on the bed where you're lyin'
# You're filmin' yourself and you're cryin'
# Do you ever dream that you're flyin'
# In the wind with the leaves that are dyin'?
# We had to grow up so quick
# Killin' the world in a click
# But maybe we're sick, sick in our bones
# You smile and look down at your phone
# The city is fillin' with smoke
# You look out the window and joke
# "If I just jumped
# "Do you think I would float?"
# Can you hear me scream?
# I look at the world
# And I cannot breathe
# The forest is fillin' with fire
# Turn off the TV, I'm tired
# I don't wanna know
# The skies are aglow
# They're taking your body away
# And hopelessly, all I can say
# Is, "Don't let me go"
# I won't let you go... #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Thank you.
The delicious voice and piano of Tom Odell.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Now, our next guest, who is over here, a wonderful artist,
and she will be appearing at Glastonbury next week.
But I'm delighted to say that you've made the right choice
in tuning here tonight because you can see her here first.
Please welcome Greentea Peng.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# Your love too good for me
# And I was too blind to see
# Yeah, I'm sorry, baby
# That I wasn't ready
# Nor may I ever will
# This shit so all-consuming
# Yeah, I'm sorry, baby
# If it wasn't meant to be
# You gave me fire
# And I drenched your flame
# I know I'm the problem here
# If anyone's to blame
# Blame
# So I must take the leap
# Even if I lack the faith
# And I'll try and meet you there
# I'm sorry I'll be late
# Your love too good for me
# And I was too blind to see
# Yeah, I'm sorry, baby
# That I wasn't ready
# I've been far away far too long
# And it's wrong all the ways
# That I've stayed away from your arms and your hand
# So far from where we began
# And I know that it's me
# And I'm tired, you're tired
# Your patience has expired
# And I know, I know
# That's why I'm going
# And we growing cos I'm gone
# Just a stone's throw, just a stone's throw
# Away
# Your love too good for me
# And I was too blind to see
# Yeah, I'm sorry, baby
# That I wasn't ready
# Your love too good for me
# And I was too blind to see
# Yeah, I'm sorry, baby
# That I wasn't ready
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
# Your love too good for me, baby
# I know that I drive you crazy
# Your love too good for me, baby
# I know that I drive you crazy
# Your love too good for me, baby
# Your love too good for me Good for me, baby. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Stones Throw, for her album Tell Dem It's Sunny.
Greentea Peng! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Now, I'll swiftly move over to the piano to chat
with the legend from Elbow, it is Guy Garvey.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Marvellous to have you here,
my dear friend. How are you doing, Jools?
And it's great to see you here
cos it's always wonderful to see you at the show.
Sometimes you are here, you were here the other week.
As well as being a great musician,
you have great broadcasting skills yourself. Oh, thank you.
Coming from you, that's amazing.
Is there anybody in the room you're particularly enjoying tonight?
Everything I've seen is just amazing. It's just...
I mean, your show is the best show on TV,
and it's like the most incredible social document.
How many years?
33.
33 years. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
I mean, it's... Yeah, so...
Yeah.
Whenever you'll let me in.
Whenever you'll let me in, of course I'm going to come,
it's the best gig you could go to. Well, thanks very much for saying.
It's great to have you here.
Now, Elbow have just released a brand-new EP - Audio Vertigo Echo.
And is that an extension of your number-one album Audio Vertigo?
Yeah. That came out just over a year ago,
and it was quite a different record for us - it was a lot more
beat-driven, we had more fun doing it than we've had in a long time.
And it was like, just wanted to give it another spin, really.
And when you talk about fun - you're doing a world tour, really,
this year, aren't you? I mean, you're going to all sorts
of countries all over the world, playing huge places.
Are you enjoying touring?
I love it, yeah. It's...
I run towards the tour bus.
I was discussing it with Tom, because I've known Tom for years,
and we were both saying, "Isn't this a great job?
"Don't you love every element of it?" And I do.
I love having gaffer tape stuck to my foot,
I love rivets on flight cases...
And now, of course, the wonder of Glastonbury is going
to be with us any moment now. Yeah. Will you be going this year?
I'm not going this year.
I was up there visiting with the Eavis family, who are old pals.
I went to see it all vibrating with readiness, all the grass was
really long and you could hide in the grass all over the site.
Yeah. Would you agree, there is something unifying
in the power of music that seems to come out at Glastonbury
more than at any other festival?
I do. I do. I think it's the best festival in the world,
and I think, for a lot of the people who go there, it's their holiday
a year - you know, if they manage to get the tickets and go there.
What it does for me, as well, is - you can wander through the woods
and find a diner at three in the morning playing Louis Prima.
Yeah. Or you can find yourself wandering onto a stage
you didn't know was a stage. Yeah.
And at the same time as that,
everybody you meet is good to you and good to each other,
and it tops up my faith in humanity, that festival. Yeah.
You know, it is a fantastic festival.
And one great festival anthem is, of course, One Day Like This -
one of your songs - which is a great festival song.
It's now also become a wedding anthem. Yeah.
Do people come up and share their stories of what that song is
to them? Literally every week, somebody will stop me
in the street and tell me they, you know, walked down the aisle
to One Day Like This, which was really unexpected when we wrote it.
We wrote it really quickly and we were genuinely
overjoyed at having a new record deal, actually,
and then the head of the label said,
"Have you got another song to help us at radio?"
And we were like, "Well, probably not," cos it was two weeks
to mastering, and then that came out,
and it was just such a genuine thing.
And, like, yeah, people get married to it.
It must be a great feeling, when sort of love is enacted to your...
It's really lovely, yeah. Proclamations of love going on
with your music. Yeah. Are there songs that spark a memory for you,
and that have a resonance like that has resonance for people now?
Absolutely. Yeah. Hoagy Carmichael's Two Sleepy People.
Interesting. It's interesting. The 1930s song. Yeah, yeah. Great.
So, where did you hear that?
Well, my mum and dad, after they'd had seven children,
they went their separate ways,
but my eldest sister... I remember
my dad playing the beginning of it, but that's all I had.
Cos he didn't play much music.
But my eldest sister says
that my mum and my dad used to sing it together.
Oh, how lovely. Yeah. So it's...
And it's just a really lovely, sweet, daft song.
It is a sweet song. I know it a little bit.
Would you give it a go for us now? I'd love to do it.
We'd love that, wouldn't we?
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Oh, nice.
# Here we are, out of cigarettes
# Holding hands and yawning, look how late it gets
# Two sleepy people, by dawn's early light
# And too much in love to say goodnight
# Here we are in the cosy chair
# Pickin' on a wishbone from the Frigidaire
# Two sleepy people with nothing to say
# Too much in love to break away
# Do you remember the night we used to linger in the hall?
# Your father didn't like me at all
# And do you remember the reason we married in the fall?
# To rent this little nest and get a bit of rest
# Here we are, just about the same
# Foggy little fella, dozy little dame
# Two sleepy people, by dawn's early light
# Too much in love to say goodnight
# Ooh
# Too much in love to say goodnight. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
What a lovely, enchanting English voice!
Guy Garvey! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Thank you.
Thank you, Jools.
And now, with another song from her latest excellent album,
Weirdo, we welcome Emma-Jean Thackray.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# I see bodies
# Every time I close my eyes
# Yours and mine
# Suspended in time, they're all around me
# The clock is frozen
# Hands hang on a five
# And on a nine
# The hour is mine but yours is taken
# Save me
# Cos I'm not whole any more
# Broken pieces on the floor
# Somebody save me
# My eyes are open
# Every time that I try
# To find peace of mind
# I'm walking around blind
# It's like I've closed them
# Save me
# Cos I'm not whole any more
# Broken pieces on the floor
# Somebody save me
# I can't cry any more
# No-one's walking through the door
# Somebody save me
# Save me from myself
# Save me from myself, save me
# Save me from myself
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me
# Save me, soothe me
# Under the weight, can't move me
# Save me, soothe me
# Feeling the pain might lose me. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# La-da, da-da
# La-la, da-da
# La-la-la
# La-da, da-da
# La-la, da-da
# La-la-la
# Don't cry, put your head on my shoulder
# Tell me what happened, my friend
# God knows how long I've known you
# It always works out in the end
# The door is locked, the kettle's screaming
# And I can't stop this sinking feeling
# Watching you do this damage to yourself
# Knowing I can't help
# But don't cry, put your head on my shoulder
# Take all the time that you need
# God knows, yeah, I'm gonna show ya
# It's never as bad as it seems
# It hurts right now but it won't forever
# We're gonna get through it together
# You're doing your best
# And what more can you do?
# You know I think that you
# Are gonna be all right, you're gonna be all right
# You're gonna be all right, You're gonna be just fine
# When this whole world has walked away
# Come and find me, gonna hear me say
# Don't cry, put your head on my shoulder
# We'll figure out what to do
# God knows, have I ever told ya
# I'm sorry for what you've been through?
# Oooh, oooh
# Ooh-ooh, ooh
# You're doing your best
# And what more can you do?
# I think that you
# La-da, da-da
# Da-da, da-da
# Da, da-da
# La-da da-da
# Da-da-da. #
Thank you. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Thank you, Tom Odell.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
And thank you to all of my wonderful guests this evening.
Thank you to the beautiful audience.
Thank you to everybody who's watched.
We will be back in the autumn with another dazzling series
of live music, and in the meantime,
next weekend you can all enjoy the excitements of Glastonbury,
from the comfort of your favourite armchair, here on the BBC.
Now, to close, with another track from her new album,
A Complicated Woman,
we're delighted to finish with Self Esteem.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# And another thing left that I need to say
# I took a knife in case it was a home game
# It was wrong and right
# Did you expect I might be
# On the way to enlighten yet another boy?
# I had a clean girl brow
# It was a little forced to be what I want
# Whilst pleasing everyone
# And you can sing and you can thrive
# And you could never say I didn't try
# But it was for who I was and not who I'd become
# So what's left? I hear you cry
# It's just another new mountain to climb
# But I know that at the top is where the next hill starts
# And there is nowhere left for your head to turn
# Yeah, there's nowhere left for your head to turn
# History repeating
# But without the learning
# And yet they spend their energy
# Coming for anybody
# Who doesn't get it right
# Who really gets it right?
# And I'm a ghost, it's a machine
# And now they're following where I've been
# But what you looking for?
# I'm just like you but boring
# And in the end, I'm coming clean
# I've spent my whole life lying
# About the things I want
# About the things I should have done
# I'm inferior, you're the absolute
# This has got everything and nothing to do with you
# I've a house to buy
# I've still got this fucked mind
# And as another year turns around the bend
# As I nudge out yet another friend
# It's still hard out here
# But, fuck, I'll just keep going
# And I'm alone, at least for now
# Cos I can never dumb myself down
# I just know way too much to ever fall in love
# But the idea's good
# I see where you're all coming from
# So I'll roll on unmerrily
# On the way to make another wedding about me
# I've got boundaries plenty
# But they're just so tiring
# So I pick and choose what is fine to lose
# I don't care about much, but I care about you
# You're the only one who I'm still writing songs for
# And I'm on edge, I make it work
# I know that digging in the dirt
# Is how someone like me gets there eventually
# And, yeah, there's shame that I'm not OK
# But the deep blue's there inside of me
# And I have my doubts
# But know I'll always work it out
# You'll always work it out
# Yeah
# And another thing left that I need to say
# You know what? I might try today
# I might fucking try today
# Try today, try today
# Another thing left that I need to say
# You know what? I might try today
# I might fucking try today
# Try today, try today. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# Yes, we're on TV
# They put us on TV
# And they let us on TV
# Oooh... #
Hi, Mom.