谢谢 Thanks
该死的，看这就是事情， Goddammit, see that's the thing,
我也不明白 I also don't understand
当人们说诸如该死或耶稣基督之类的话时 when people say things like Goddammit or Jesus Christ
为了诅咒。 for a curse.
不管你来自什么宗教信仰， No matter what religious affiliation you come from,
我们都同意耶稣基督 we can all agree that Jesus Christ
就像一个非常好的家伙，对吧？ was like a really good dude, right?
就像，为什么我们说它是一种诅咒？ So like, why did we say it as a curse?
我们为什么不把它替换成类似的， Why don't we replace it with like,
我不认识可怕的人。 I don't know terrible people.
你踢伤脚趾，你就像，“哦，阿道夫希特勒。” You stub your toe, you're like, Oh, Adolf Hitler.
或者就像你把热咖啡倒在腿上一样，你就像， Or like you pour hot coffee in your lap, you're like,
“哦，哦，热咖啡， 克里斯托弗·哥伦布。” Oh, oh, hot coffee, Christopher Columbus.
克里斯托弗·哥伦布？ Christopher Columbus?
哦，是的，显然是一个非常糟糕的家伙。 Oh yeah, apparently a really bad dude.
我们在小学时完全被误导了。 We were completely misinformed in elementary school.
哦，愚蠢的家伙不能接球。 Oh, stupid guy can't catch the ball.
这些职业运动员获得数百万的报酬 These pro athletes get paid millions
美元一年来接球。 of dollars a year to catch balls.
你会认为他们的电子游戏头像也能做到这一点。 You'd think their video game avatars could do the same.
如果我是职业选手，我会抓住每一个传球。 If I was a pro, I would catch every pass.
哦，是的，就像你每次销售一样？ Oh yeah, just like you'd make every single sale?
那你为什么不出去赚几百万呢？ So why aren't you out there making your millions then?
哦，伙计，你不知道。 Oh dude, you have no idea.
我有一个全新的想法。 I have a mint idea in the works.
你把你的孩子放在汽车座椅上，他们被控制住了。 You put your kids in a car seat and they are contained.
美妙而稳定的摇摆 The nice, steady rocking
您的车辆将它们击倒。 of your vehicle knocks them right out.
孩子们总是在车里睡着。 Kids always fall asleep in the car.
这就是为什么我想出了床位。 And that is why I came up with the bed seats.
你所要做的就是绑住你的小崽子 All you have to do is strap your little spawn
在这些限制下 in with these restraints
他们永远无法从床上爬起来， and they will never be able to climb out of bed,
当你想让他们睡着的时候，他们最终会睡着。 and they will finally fall asleep when you want them to.
作为额外的奖励，正在申请专利的汽车模拟。 And as an added bonus, patent pending car simulation.
【发电机引擎轰鸣】 [generator engine roaring]
显然只是一个原型，哦[笑]。 Obviously just a prototype, oh [chuckles].
再做一些调整，这些东西会像狗肉一样畅销 A couple more tweaks, those things will sell like dog meat
在中国菜市场。 at a Chinese wet market.
我有外遇。 I'm having an affair.
你是什​​么？ You're what?
我看到了另一个女孩。 I'm seeing another girl.
就像在电影里一样，现实世界的成年狗屎男人。 Just like in like a movie, real world adult shit man.
我在欺骗我的妻子。 I'm cheating on my wife.
火腿里有一点巴姆巴姆。 A little bam bam in the ham.
骨头冲进城堡。 Bone storming the castle.
和另一只兔子一起去磅镇。 Going to pound town with another bunny.
泡菜被另一只鸡挠痒痒。 Pickle tickle by another chicken.
好的，好的等等，要去重镇吗？ Okay, okay wait, going to pound town?
现在是尝试那个阶段的时候了吗？ This is the time to try out that phase?
你是认真的？ You're serious?
是啊，你怎么看？ Yeah, what do you think?
我认为你是一个完整的儿子。 I think you're a complete son of a.
[欢快的音乐] [upbeat music]
[门吱呀一声打开] [door creaks open]
[爱丽丝尖叫] [Iris screams]
哦不，这只是爸爸。 Oh no, it's just daddy.
啊，萨达姆侯赛因。 Ah, Saddam Hussein.
嘿宝贝。嘿。 Hey babe. Hey.
比赛如何？ How was the game?
比赛，比赛太棒了。 The game, the game was fantastic.
我粉碎了它。 I crushed it.
你会很感动的。 You would have been so impressed.
然而，马特是最令人失望的人 Matt however is the most disappointing human being
我这辈子都遇到过。 I've ever met in my entire life.
为什么？ Why?
你保证不告诉任何人？ You promise not to tell anyone?
当然。 Sure.
你保证不告诉任何人？ You promise not to tell anyone?
当然。连珍都没有。 Sure. Not even Jen.
马特正在将他的香蕉放入另一种水果沙拉中。 Matt is putting his banana into a different fruit salad.
什么，他在欺骗麦迪？ What, he's cheating on Maddie?
是的。出去，她知道吗？ Yep. Get out, does she know?
不。孩子们呢？ Nope. What about the kids?
我想他们也不知道。 I don't think they know either.
好吧，不，我的意思是他们会发生什么？ Okay no, I mean like what is gonna happen to them?
那些可怜的孩子们！ Those poor kids!
这一切都太疯狂了。 This is all so crazy.
我什至无法处理这个。 I can't even process this.
是的，我完全明白。 Yeah, I totally understand.
这就像疯了一样。 This is like beyond insane.
我最好的朋友拿到了护照，收拾好行李， My best friend got a passport, packed his bags,
买了票直接飞到磅镇。 purchased a ticket and flew straight to pound town.
对不起宝贝，这很粗糙。 I'm sorry babe, it's rough.
你可以打开节目什么的吗？ Can you turn on a show or something?
我得放下心来。 I gotta get my mind off of this.
【汽车引擎轰鸣】 [car engine roaring]
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
嘿，查德，我想买这个。 Hey Chad, I'd like to buy this.
继续扫描它。 Go ahead and scan it.
打扰一下？ Excuse me?
拿起扫描仪并扫描。 Grab a scanner and scan.
那不是你的工作吗？ Isn't that your job?
[扫描仪发出哔哔声] [scanner beeps]
2.32 美元。 $2.32.
请问可以拿包吗？ Can I get a bag please?
当然。 Sure.
哇，优秀的客户服务老兄。 Wow, excellent customer service dude.
感谢您在 Big Jim 的街角商店购物！ Thanks for shopping at Big Jim's corner store!
[门铃叮当] [doorbell dings]
我有一些可能令人不安的消息。 I've got some potentially upsetting news.
哦不，现在呢？ Oh no, now what?
每月促销已更改。 Monthly promotion changed.
呃，你一定是在逗我。 Ugh, you gotta be kidding me.
我知道，再说一遍。 I know, again.
他们必须停止这样做四天 They gotta stop doing this four days
在这个月开始之前。 before the month starts.
我会向您发送电子邮件，进行更改。 I'll send you the email, make the changes.
谢谢雷内。 Thanks Rene.
[欢快的音乐] [upbeat music]
玛丽，你得到下个月变化的信息了吗？ Mary, did you get the info on the change for next month?
不 如果我给你发一些数字 No. If I send you some numbers,
你能为我更换它们吗？ can you replace them for me?
当然。好的，谢谢。 Sure. All right, thanks.
Chandelle 准备好那些新的网站照片了吗？ Chandelle are those new website photos ready?
不，瑞奇有那些。谢谢你。 No, Ricky had those. Thank you.
[欢快的音乐] [upbeat music]
卡罗尔，你见过瑞奇吗？ Carol, have you seen Ricky?
好的谢谢你。 Okay, thank you.
嘿，你见过瑞奇吗？ Hey, have you seen Ricky?
从今天早上开始就没有了。 Not since this morning.
嘿伙计，你见过瑞奇吗？ Hey man, have you seen Ricky?
瑞奇？ Ricky?
哦，对不起，道格，只是在找瑞奇。 Oh sorry Doug, just looking for Ricky.
瑞奇，哦，嘿，你看起来不错。 Ricky, oh hey you look good man.
没机会了，兄弟。 No chance, bro.
没有人能找到他。 No one can find him.
瑞奇，你有网站的更新照片吗？ Ricky, do you have the updated photos for the website?
哪个？ Which ones?
下个月促销的更新产品截图。 The updated product shots for next month's promotion.
变了吗？是的。 It changed? Yeah.
要什么？ To what?
现在，如果您购买花园太阳能电池板套件， Now if you buy a garden solar panel kit,
你还会得到一个花园工具包。 you also get a garden toolkit.
那是蹩脚的。 That's lame.
它实际上是一个非常好的套件。 It's actually a really nice kit.
还是跛脚。 Still lame.
它配有漂亮的皮革手提包和围裙。 It comes with the nice leather carrying bag and an apron.
Chandelle 应该在这上面。 Chandelle should be on that.
钱德尔，你在开玩笑吗？ Chandelle, are you kidding me?
你确定吗？ Are you sure?
哦，来吧！ Oh, come on!
伙计，请瑞奇集中注意力。 Dude, focus please Ricky.
你确定吗？ Are you sure?
是的，是的，是的，钱德尔应该参与那个项​​目。 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Chandelle should be on that project.
[欢快的音乐]她好多了。 [upbeat music] She's better.
钱德尔？是的。 Chandelle? Yep.
瑞奇告诉我你在工作 Ricky told me that you were working
在网站的新园艺工具套件照片中？ in the new garden tool kit photos for the website?
是的。好吧，但你告诉我 Yep. Okay, but you told me
那个瑞奇，没关系。 that Ricky, never mind.
请问可以发邮件给我吗？ Can you email them to me please?
是的。谢谢你。 Yep. Thank you.
原来我们要按照原来的计划 Turns out we're going to the original plan
本月促销。 for promotion this month.
伟大的。没有必要改变。 Great. No need to change.
嘿蒂姆。这是怎么回事？ Hey Tim. What's up?
你知道，这些是给每个人的。 You know, those are for everyone.
我知道，我只是把它们藏在我的办公桌上。 I know, I'm just putting a stash of them at my desk.
但是如果我们在这里用完了它们怎么办？ But what if we run out of them in here?
看，水果零食总是排在第一位。 Look, the fruit snacks always go first.
这就是为什么我要大量藏匿 That's why I take a huge stash
我只是把它们放在我的抽屉里。 and I just put them in my drawer.
我的意思是，我们应该去你的办公桌上拿它们吗？ I mean, are we supposed to go to your desk to grab them?
要么我能上来 Either I can come up
像无家可归的人一样每天抓一个 and grab one every day like a homeless person
或者我可以每个月都来一次抓住它们。 or I can just come grab them all at once every month.
这实际上更节省时间，兄弟。 It's actually more time efficient bro.
那是给你的。 That's for you.
我想我们更喜欢你 I think we'd prefer for you
虽然每天来这里一次。 to come in here though once a day.
在极少数情况下效率低下是最好的， On the rare occasions where inefficiency is best,
他留下了一团糟。 he left a mess.
【车门砰地关上】 [car door slams shut]
哦不，不，请开始。 Oh no, no, just start please.
开始吧，这是你唯一的工作。 Just start, it's your only job.
刚开始！【汽车引擎轰鸣】 Just start! [car engine roaring]
[车门砰地关上] [踏板车发动机吱吱作响] [car door slams shut] [scooter engine squeaking]
[轻音乐] [gentle music]
[康纳笑] [泰迪] 没有康纳， [Connor laughing] [Teddy] No Connor,
你为什么要给我看？ why would you show me that?
真恶心 真他妈的棒 That's disgusting. It's fricking awesome.
来，看看这个。 Here, look at this one.
[泰迪] 不，不，我很好。 [Teddy] No, no I'm good.
而你很可怕。 And you're terrible.
你是一个可怕的人，可怕的人。 You're a terrible, horrible person.
等等，下面发生了什么。 Wait, what's going on down there.
康纳给我看他大便的照片。 Connor's showing me pictures of his poop.
什么，这是人类的艺术形式。 What, it's human art form.
我的意思是，看看这个日志。 I mean, look at this log.
我今天早上做了这个。 I did this this morning.
直接下来了， It came straight down,
完全垂直地落在马桶上。 landed perfectly vertical in the toilet bowl.
我很惊讶它没有倒下。 I'm surprised it didn't fall over.
我的意思是，看看这个？ I mean, look at this?
不。好吧，好吧，让我看看。 No. Okay, okay, let me see it.
[康纳] 看那个。 [Connor] Look at that.
太棒了。 That is awesome.
好吧好吧，让我看看。 Okay all right, let me see.
哦，天哪，没有。 Oh, oh my gosh no.
好的，拿着这个。 Okay, take this.
你知道吗，完全披露 You know what, full disclosure
我不是这个康纳的专家 and I'm no expert on this Connor,
但我相当肯定 COVID19 起源于你。 but I'm fairly certain COVID19 originated with you.
这只是大便，每个人都大便。 It's just poop, everybody poops.
这是一本书，纽约时报的畅销书。 It's a book, a New York Times bestseller.
我的意思是，为什么我们必须对便便如此奇怪？ I mean, why do we have to be so weird about poop?
见鬼，你知道谁拉屎吗？ Hell, you know who poops?
教皇。 The Pope.
教皇大便。也是真的。 The Pope poops. Also true.
亚当，亚当，请救救我们。 Adam, Adam, save us please.
好吧，好吧，好吧，伙计们听着。 All right, all right, all right guys listen up.
投票问题，所以我在办公室，对吗？ Poll question, so I'm at the office, right?
我在社区休息室 And I'm in the community break room
这个愚蠢的时髦小孩走进来 and this stupid little hipster kid walks in
偷走了所有的水果零食 and steals all the fruit snacks
并将它们藏在他的办公桌上。 and stashes them at his desk.
他这样做是为了他不必一直起床 He does that so that he doesn't have to keep getting up
得到更多。 to get more.
现在我说一次旅行吃一份水果小吃。 Now I say one fruit snack for one trip.
你说什么？ What say you?
等等，是谁？ Wait, who was it?
蒂姆，撰稿人。 Tim, the Copywriter.
哦，是的，那家伙是个彻头彻尾的混蛋。 Oh yeah, that guy's a total douche.
冲洗。不，我没事。 Douche. No, it's fine by me.
我的意思是，只要能让你的生活更轻松。 I mean, whatever makes your life easier.
康纳，你的整个生活都变得更轻松了。 Connor, your whole life is the easier.
剩下的员工呢？ What about the rest of the employees?
适者生存？ Survival by the fittest?
适者生存？是的，生存 Survival of the fittest? Yes, survival
适者。康纳， of the fittest. Connor,
他们适合所有人。 they're for everyone.
这不是该死的饥饿游戏。 It's not the fricking hunger games.
[戏剧音乐] [dramatic music]
呃，是的，我什至无法将这种想法合理化。 Ugh yeah, I can't even rationalize that line of thinking.
这让我很困扰 It bothers me so much
所有这些愚蠢的千禧一代的孩子都在做 that there's all these dumb millennial kids just doing
他们想要什么。 whatever they want.
哇，亚当，你知道你是千禧一代，对吧？ Whoa Adam, you know you're millennial, right?
是的。什么？ Yeah. What?
不，我不是。 No, I'm not.
是的，你是。你们？ Yeah, you are. You guys?
你出生在哪一年？ What year were you born?
86. 是的。 86. Yup.
哦，千禧一代。千禧一代。 Ooh, millennial. Millennial.
不，不，不，不，不。 No, no, no, no, no.
让我们看看。从 1982 年到 2004 年。 Let's see that. From 1982 to 2004.
没错，就是你。什么，不！ Yep, that's you. What, no!
完全。你们， Totally. You guys,
我一直认为千禧一代比我年轻得多。 I always thought millennial were like way younger than me.
我不是很老，但我总是把自己放在 I'm not terribly old, but I always put myself
在 X 世代部落。 in the Gen X tribe.
没办法，X世代是跛脚的。 No way, Gen X is the lame.
但这就是我一生的生活方式。 But that's how I lived my whole life.
我一直很努力 I always worked really hard
并且总是努力做正确的事。 and always tried to do the right thing.
我讨厌千禧一代的心态。 I hate millennial mentality.
你可以试试我脚上的有机乳液吗？ Could you try the organic lotion on my feet?
我只是喜欢它让我的脚趾感觉。 I just love the way it makes my toes feel.
你听到了吗？ Do you hear that?
是的，他总是千禧一代。 Yeah, he's always millennial.
嘿，这次确保你得到你的角质层。 Hey, make sure you get your cuticles this time.
上周我们看到了你的脚， We saw your feet last week,
天啊。好吧，停下。 oh my gosh. Okay, stop.
[商店铃声] [中速音乐] [store bell rings] [mid tempo music]
嘿，我想买这杯酒，你要把它卖给我。 Hey, I wanna buy this drink and you're gonna sell it to me.
所以放下你该死的手机 So get off your damn phone
并扫描它，然后将其放入袋子中。 and scan it and then put it in a bag.
现在问我要不要把收据放在包里，问我。 Now ask me if I want the receipt in the bag, ask me.
你想把收据放在你的包里吗？ Would you like your receipt in your bag?
不，不，我不会。 No, no I wouldn't.
[商店铃声响起] [store bell ringing]
其实我不知道信用卡信息是什么 Actually, I don't know what kind of credit card information
留在那里。 is left on there.
哦，只有最后四位数字， Oh, just the last four digits,
但我还是不想给你 but still I don't wanna give you
或其他任何人知道最后四位数字的满意度 or anyone else the satisfaction knowing the last four digits
我的信用卡垃圾。 of my credit card dipshit.
感谢您在 Big Jim 的街角商店购物。 Thanks for shopping at Big Jim's corner store.
[蟋蟀鸣叫] [crickets chirping]
嘿宝贝嘿。 Hey babe Hey.
怎么了？ What's wrong?
我是一个该死的千禧一代，就是这样。 I'm a fricking millennial that's what.
什么？千禧一代。 What? A millennial.
社会上自私、懒惰的阴茎癌。 A selfish, lazy penis ball cancer on society.
我很抱歉听到这个。 I'm sorry to hear that.
好吧，你不在乎。 Okay, you don't care.
快来取笑我吧。 Go ahead and make fun of me.
不不不不， No, no, no, no,
我不是在取笑你。 I'm not making fun of you.
快讯，你也是其中之一。 And newsflash, you're one of them too.
那么成为千禧一代有什么大不了的？ So what's the big deal with being a millennial?
我恨他们。 I hate them.
我什至不想认同他们。 I don't even want to identify with them.
千禧一代的心态完全相反 The millennial mentality is the complete opposite
我所有的核心信念。 of all of my core beliefs.
我知道，有人可能会说他们是劣等种族。 I know, one might say that they are the inferior race.
确切地。我知道[笑]。 Exactly. I know [laughs].
好吧，你肯定是在取笑我。 Okay, you're definitely making fun of me.
好吧，那次我是，但我不是第一次。 Okay yeah, that time I was, but I wasn't the first time.
我什至得不到自己妻子的支持。 I can't even get the support of my own wife.
好吧，我不明白，就因为你是千禧一代， Okay, I don't get it, just because you are a millennial,
这并不意味着您必须成为其中之一。 it doesn't mean you have to be one of them.
嗯，仅此而已。 Well, that's just it.
我意识到我非常讨厌千禧一代 I realized I hate millennials so much
因为我嫉妒他们。 because I'm jealous of them.
他们所做的一切都恰恰相反 Everything they do is the exact opposite
我的生活。 of how I live my life.
我很紧张，压力很大，有点戏剧性。 I'm uptight, stressed out, a little dramatic.
一点？ A little?
关键是我按书做一切 The point is I do everything by the book
我看着这些小便的孩子，我很羡慕 and I look at these piss hand kids and I'm envious
他们是多么的冷漠， of how nonchalant they are,
他们怎么可以为所欲为 how they can do whatever the hell they want
没有任何后果。 without any consequences.
好吧，我确定会有一些后果。 Okay, well I'm sure there are some consequences.
我无法停止思考这个问题。 I can't stop thinking about this.
想什么？ Thinking about what?
关于拥抱千禧年主义。 About embracing millennialism.
好吧，我想你应该去睡觉 Okay, well I think you should just go to bed
你会停止思考它。 and you'll stop thinking about it.
我很确定这就像另一个一样 I'm pretty sure this is just like another one
你的东西。 of your things.
我要开始和我的人一起生活了。 I'm gonna start living among my people.
我要成为千禧一代。 I'm going to become a millennial.
究竟是什么意思？ Meaning what exactly?
我要开始变得更自私了。 I'm gonna start being more selfish.
如果我早餐想吃一块蛋糕， If I want a piece of cake for breakfast,
我早餐要吃一块翻转蛋糕。 I'm gonna eat a flipping piece of cake for breakfast.
不再是责任先生。 No more being Mr. Responsible.
所以你要开始做任何你想做的事？ So you're just going to start doing whatever you want?
任何。绝对随便？ Whatever. Absolutely whatever?
完全随心所欲，100% 随心所欲。 Completely whatever, 100% whatever I want.
所以这就像你吃素的一次吗？ So is this like the one time you went vegan?
你们有骨头上的素食吗？ Do you guys have anything vegan that comes on a bone?
[笑]好吧，这个小游戏 [chuckles] All right, does this little game
包括其他女性？ include other women?
[笑]哦，不，这不是游戏。 [chuckles] Oh no, this is no game.
好吧，我知道， All right, I know,
但你就是太甜了。 but you're just like way too sweet.
你甚至不能想出你的前五名名人名单。 You can't even come up with your top five celebrity list.
好吧，压力太大了。 Okay well, that is way too much pressure.
只有五个女人？ Only five women?
天哪，参数太多了 My goodness, too many parameters go
为我做出决定。 into that decision for me.
我的意思是，谁是你的前五名？ I mean, who is on your top five?
威尔·史密斯、查宁·塔图姆、扎克·埃夫隆、 Will Smith, Channing Tatum, Zac Efron,
巨石强森和盖尔加朵。 Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Gal Gadot.
好吧，那是有点太快了 Okay well, that was a little bit delivered too quickly
我喜欢。 for my liking.
我知道，但如果你上床睡觉，我会告诉你 I know, but if you come to bed, I will show you
谁是我的男主。 who my main man is.
我不能，我觉得我的心要跳出胸膛了。 I can't, I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest.
千禧一代你就这么兴奋吗？ Is the millennial you just like that excited?
不，我喝了第一杯能量饮料。 Nope, I had my first energy drink.
我认为它的工作有点太好了。 I think it's working a little bit too good.
有点太好了。 A little too well.
[鸟鸣] [birds chirping]
嗨，老兄。嘿，怎么了？ Hey man. Hey, what's up?
哦，没什么。 Oh, nothing.
你要去工作吗？ Are you going to work?
是的，我只是想谈谈一些事情 Yeah, I just wanted to talk about something
和你在一起很快。好的。 with you real quick. Okay.
我只是想你会是一个会理解的人 I just figured you'd be someone who would understand
我正在经历什么。 what I'm going through.
蛋？不，我很好。 Eggs? No, I'm good.
有了你的内幕消息， So with your inside information,
下一场大型社会运动将是什么？ what is the next big social movement going to be?
我的内幕消息？ My inside information?
是的，所以我迟到了整个接受 Yeah, so I was late to the whole acceptance
同性恋阶段。 of the gay phase.
不是一个阶段。 Not a phase.
我的意思是我是边缘偏执狂 What I mean is I was the borderline bigot
到同性恋社区，即使现在我来了 to the gay community even though now I've come
接受他们的决定。 to accept their decision.
不是决定。 Not a decision.
好的，我需要你停止冒犯 Okay, I need you to stop taking offense
我所说的一切。 to everything I'm saying.
别再冒犯了。 Stop being offensive.
好吧，听着好吗？ Okay, just listen all right?
这不是关于你的东西。 This isn't about your stuff.
这是关于我的事情，所以闭嘴并处理它。 This is about my stuff so just shut up and deal with it.
我不是要冒犯你。 I'm not trying to offend you.
嗯，你是这样。 Well, you are so.
哦，对不起。 Oh well, I'm sorry.
它是如此艰苦 It's so hard
考虑到我认为所有同性恋者都会下地狱。 for me considering I think all gays are going to hell.
不错，更简单 Nice, and more simply
因为你认为阴茎很恶心。 because you think penises are gross.
好吧，我什至被我自己排斥。 Well, I'm even repulsed by my own.
爱就是爱，伙计。 Love is love, man.
好的，这正是我在这里的原因。 Okay, and that's exactly why I'm here.
听着，我不在乎同性恋。 Look, I don't care about the gays.
操他们，我错过了那场社会斗争。 Screw them, I missed that social fight.
啊，直白男的生活，就是这么简单。 Ah, straight White male life, so simple.
好吧，我可以为我的白人直男权利而战 Okay, I can fight for my straight White male rights
如果我不得不。 if I had to.
你可以吗？ Could you though?
谢谢大家的到来。 Thank you all for coming.
是的，美国，美国 [人群] 美国，美国。 Yeah, USA, USA [Crowd] USA, USA.
走开，走开。 Go away, go away.
这是一个错误。 This was a mistake.
伙计们放下标志，放下标志。 Guys put the signs down, put the sign down.
好吧，闭嘴。 Okay, shut up.
看，下一场大型社会运动会是什么？ Look, what is the next big social movement going to be?
你什么意思你不知道？ What do you mean you don't know?
泰迪，来吧。 Teddy, come on.
我需要站在接受它的前线。 I need to be on the front lines of accepting it.
亚当，这不像同性恋 Adam, it's not like the gays
或者少数民族聚在一起 or the minorities get together
并举行关于如何超越社会的秘密会议。 and have secret meetings about how to overtake society.
兽交不是兽交吗？ Bestiality it's bestiality isn't it?
我会做爱就是爱。 I'll do love is love.
哦，来吧，伙计。 Oh come on, man.
我在你的团队里。 I'm on your team.
我不希望你加入我的团队 I don't want you on my team,
但我也不知道下一个大型社会运动是什么。 but also I don't know what the next big social movement is.
我认为每个人都应该爱他们想爱的人 I think everyone should love who they wanna love
并感到舒适和接受 and be comfortable and accepted
他们是谁，就是这样。 for who they are, that's it.
那太笼统了。 That is so generic.
我有一个问题，天啊。 I got a question geez.
对不起，打扰了你的爱。 Sorry to interrupt your love.
如果上帝不接受同性恋，对吗？ If God doesn't accept homosexuality, right?
对不起泰迪，他不接受兽交，对吧？ Sorry Teddy, and he does not accept bestiality, right?
是更糟还是更受惩罚 Is it more worse or more punishable
如果像人类花花公子和动物花花公子一样？ if like a human dude got it on with an animal dude?
或者是两种不同的东西， Or is it like two different things,
还是因为有两个负面因素才成为正面？ or is it because there's two negatives it makes a positive?
它甚至重要吗？ Does it even matter?
康纳，你完全赤裸 Connor, you are completely naked
在你的同性恋室友面前。 in front of your gay roommate.
放松，我的意思是它不是 Relax, I mean it's not
就像泰迪斯会强奸我什么的。 like Teddys' gonna rape me or anything.
仍然是耶洗别，你只是在那里抛出诱惑。 Still Jezebel, you're just throwing temptation out there.
哦，等一下。 Oh, hold on.
那更接近兽交。 That is closer to bestiality.
哇，喂！哦，回到这里罗娜。 Wow, hey! Oh, come back here Rona.
哦，来吧，别那么难过。 Oh come on, don't be so sad.
我们只是在玩。 We're just playing.
我爱你康纳。 I love you Connor.
无论如何，这是什么，发生了什么？ Anyway, what is this, what's happening?
哦，我决定出来了 Oh, well I have decided to come out
我众所周知的壁橱，如果你愿意的话 of my proverbial closet if you will
并接受我的千禧年方式。 and embrace my millennialistic ways.
那有什么意思？ What does that even mean?
我很高兴你问。 I'm glad you asked.
啊，我想知道那是为了什么。 Ah, I wondered what that was for.
好的，让我们看看这里。 Okay, let's see here.
千禧一代，成年青年 Millennial, a person reaching young adulthood
在 21 世纪初，他在计算机技术中长大 in the early 21st century who grew up on computer technology
并且通常被称为我，我，我的一代。 and is often referred to as the me, me, me generation.
好的？ Okay?
所以我要成为千禧一代。 So I am going to become a millennial.
好的，所以我有这个直。 Okay, just so I have this straight.
你以千禧一代的身份出现 You coming out as a millennial
和我出柜一样是同性恋。 is the same as me coming out as gay.
看，我就知道你会明白的。 See, I knew you'd get it.
你真勇敢。谢谢你。 You're so brave. Thank you.
等一下，等一下。 Wait a minute, wait a minute.
千禧一代甚至不会出现在这本词典中。 Millennial wouldn't even be in this dictionary.
哦好吧，我想你可能更千禧一代 Oh okay, I think you might be more millennial
比你相信自己。 than you give yourself credit for.
什么？ What?
我希望它具有更具戏剧性的效果。 I wanted it to have a more dramatic effect.
不，这很好。 No, this is nice.
我喜欢这个。 I like this.
干得好，我赞同。 Good job, I approve.
谢谢你。 Thank you.
你花了多长时间？ How long did that take you?
时间太长了。 Way too long.
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
你好，父亲。你好兄弟。 Hello there, Father. Hello brother.
有什么可以帮您？ What can I help you with?
哦，父亲，我是来作准备的。 Oh father, I am here to prepent.
你来干什么？ You're here to what?
预备预备？ Prepent Prepent?
预备，我要告白 Prepent, I would like to confess
我要犯的罪。 of sins I'm going to commit.
这不完全是它的工作原理。 It's not exactly how it works.
好吧，我想我可以进来照顾一切 Well, I figured I can come in here and take care of all
内疚和感觉不好 of the guilt and the feeling bad
和忏悔的东西，所以我可以出去 and the confession stuff now so I can go out
并以清白的心享受罪恶。 and enjoy the sin with a clear conscience.
我们在这里是为了避免犯罪。 We are here to avoid sin.
正确的。并尽力而为 Right. And to try our best
要像耶稣。对，我明白了。 to be like Jesus. Right, I get that.
但你想犯罪吗？ But you're wanting to go sin?
正确的。并承认那些罪过 Correct. And confess those sins
在我们真正犯下这些罪之前。 before we actually commit those sins.
正确，你懂的。 Correct, you get it.
这不在上帝的教导中。 This isn't in God's teachings.
同意。那你为什么要 Agreed. So why would you want
去犯罪？ to go sin?
好吧，我想我们都是不完美的，对吧？ Well, I figured we're all imperfect, right?
正确的。我们都犯了罪，对吗？ Right. And we all sin, correct?
正确的。那为什么不坦白 Correct. So why not confess
现在的罪，以便我们以后可以享受它们？ of the sin now so we can enjoy them later?
因为那样的话那些事情会更糟。 Because then those things would be even worse.
为什么？ Why?
因为他们是有预谋的罪恶。 Because they'd be premeditated sins.
嗯，这就是为什么我现在想承认他们。 Well, that's why I wanna confess of them now.
忏悔不是一回事。 Prepentance isn't a thing.
我不敢苟同。 I beg to differ.
我现在正在做。 I'm literally doing it right now.
有点像犯罪前的坦白。 Sort of a confession before the crime.
有什么不同？ What's the difference?
我们在这里谈论的是哪些罪？ What kinds of sins are we talking about here?
哦，我不知道。 Oh, I don't know exactly.
那我们应该如何预习 Then how are we supposed to prepent
如果你不知道你的罪是什么？ if you don't know what your sins are?
那么忏悔是一回事吗？ So prepentance is a thing?
我只是想了解一下。 I'm just trying to understand.
推进剂是什么。 What propellant is.
不，我完全明白这个概念。 No, I fully get the concept.
我想了解你想做什么罪。 I want to understand what sins you're wanting to do.
嗯，事情是这样的。 Well, here's the thing.
我一直是一个非常直接的射手。 I have been a pretty straight shooter.
我说的是A级重质材料。 I'm talking grade A heavy material.
这是好事。 That's a good thing.
但我正在经历这就像生命危机。 But I'm going through this like life crisis.
我只是想放松一下，及时行乐， And I just wanna let loose, Carpe diem,
种下我的野燕麦，把我的鼻子揉进一些水果沙拉 sow my wild oats, rub my nose into some fruit salad
如果你愿意。 if you will.
但你不知道 But you don't know
你想打破什么诫命？ what commandments you would want to break?
不，不，不，不是真的。 No, no, no, not really.
我的意思是，我愿意接受一些建议。 I mean, I'm open to some suggestions.
我只知道我想成为千禧一代 I just know I wanna become a millennial
基本上更自私 and basically be more selfish
做任何我想做的事，哦，对不起，父亲。 and do whatever the hell I want, oh excuse me father.
我担心你会陷入罪中 My worry is that you will stumble into sin
然后无法让自己摆脱它。 and then not be able to get yourself back out of it.
对对对，绝对有这个可能。 Right, right, that's definitely a possibility.
那你的家庭？ What about your family?
哦，他们在船上。 Oh, they're on board.
我想这就解决了。 I guess that settles it.
那么我有你的祝福吗？ So I have your blessing then?
不 你在那里大声说不 No. You vocally said no there
但我觉得你的心说是的。 but I feel like your heart said yes.
不，我爱你父亲。 No I love you Father.
这里发生了什么？ What's going on here?
他们在看谁最能忍住小便。 They're seeing who can hold their pee the most.
好吧，你们，我来这里是为了揭示我的大计划 Okay you guys, I came here to reveal my big plan
以及我将如何开始过千禧一代的生活。 and how I'm gonna start living my life as a millennial.
如果你愿意，我的第三次生命危机。 My third life crisis if you will.
这听起来像是你的第三次生命危机。 That makes it sound like it's your third life crisis.
我想你已经经历过一、二、三种生活危机。 I think you've had one, two, three life crisises.
好点，不像是第三点 Good point, not like it's a third point
在你的人生危机中？ in your life crisis?
中年危机有效。 Midlife crisis works.
如果我们使用半衰期危机，只会引起混乱。 If we used halflife crisis, it would just cause confusion.
好吧，但就像我生命中的三分之一，我会怎么称呼它？ Okay, but like a third of my life, what would I call that?
我认为这就是第三次生命危机的原因 I think that's why a third life crisis
不是什么萌芽。 isn't a thing bud.
为什么你做的比他好那么多？ Why are you doing so much better than he is?
哦，我什至差点没喝完我的一加仑水。 Oh, I didn't even come close to drinking my gallon of water.
你这个美丽的混蛋，你的儿子，动，动。 You beautiful bastard, you son of a, move, move.
第一件事，结交一些新朋友。 First order of business, get some new friends.
任何。 Whatever.
我不是说我要取代你。 I don't mean I'm gonna replace you.
我只是需要更多的朋友。 I just need additional friends.
我只需要在我的生活中上一堂课。 I just need a splash of class in my life.
我在哪里可以找到像那些老练的人 Where do I find sophisticated people like the ones
去博物馆或谈论政治之类的？ that go to museums or talk politics or whatnot?
在博物馆呢？ How about at a museum?
好吧，但我真的不想去博物馆。 Okay, but I don't want to actually go to a museum.
好吧，那是什么？ Okay, so what is that?
我没有做到。 I didn't make it.
康纳，去洗澡。 Connor, go take a shower.
为什么我还要告诉你？ Why do I even have to tell you?
那应该是你的下一步。 That should be your next step.
对不起，老天。惊人的。 Sorry, jeez. Awesome.
这不像我喝了一加仑水。 It's not like I drank a gallon of water.
好吧，你们，来吧。 All right you guys, come on.
是时候展示我的“小鬼当家”风格了。 It's time for me to reveal my plan Home Alone style.
我不明白那个参考。 I don't understand that reference.
你知道，当小凯文制作蓝图时 You know, when little Kevin makes the blueprints
因为强盗什么时候来？ for when the robbers are coming?
这是一个相当晦涩的参考.. That's a pretty obscure reference..
伙计，来吧，随它去吧。 Dude come on, just go with it.
你在这里毁了我的大揭秘。 You're ruining my big reveal here.
我的意思是，如果你刚走了啊！ I mean, if you were just gone aah!
那我就在你身边。 Then I'd be right there with you.
与此无关。 That has nothing to do with this.
那么，使用一个有效的参考。 Well then, use a reference that works.
对不起，这只是最好的圣诞电影 I'm sorry, it's just the best Christmas movie
我一直期待你 of all time I would have expected you
为拿到它，为实现它。哇，哇，哇， to get it. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
小鬼当家甚至不是最好的“小鬼当家”电影 Home Alone is not even the best Home Alone movie
有史以来，更不用说最好的圣诞电影了。 of all time, let alone the best Christmas movie.
你是说小凯文迷路的时候 Are you suggesting that when little Kevin is lost
在纽约市那是一部优秀的电影？ in New York City that that's a superior film?
是的。对于续集来说很便宜 Yeah. Cheap for a sequel rip off
就好像麦卡利斯特夫妇又要失去他们的儿子似的。 as if Mr. And Mrs. McCallister would lose their son again.
更不用说标题与情节无关。 Not to mention the title has nothing to do with the plot.
他甚至不再一个人在家。 He's not even home alone again.
不管怎样，它仍然不是最好的圣诞电影 Whatever, it's still not the best Christmas movie
一直以来。 of all time.
哦，是的，是什么？ Oh yeah, what is?
爱其实。 Love Actually.
[嘲笑]是的，我的意思是也许。 [scoffs]Yeah, I mean maybe.
[嘲笑]我相信你所有的同性恋朋友都这么说。 [scoffs] I'm sure all your gay friends say that.
提升自己更高的亚当。 Lift yourself higher Adam.
好的，所以基本上我做了一个详细的清单 Okay, so basically I made a detailed list
在我能找到的千禧一代所做的所有事情中。 of all the things that I could find that millennials do.
一个简单的 Excel 电子表格就足够了。 A simple Excel spreadsheet would have sufficed.
是的，但没有那么酷或戏剧性。 Yeah, but not nearly as cool or dramatic.
我希望你能理解这一点。 I expected you to be the one to understand this.
哦，天哪，另一种同性恋刻板印象。 Oh my God, another gay stereotype.
那太甜了。 That is so sweet.
伙计，你应该擦掉一些灰尘 Dude, you should dust off some
你著名的高中新闻业与此有关。 of your famous high school journalism with this.
你关心现代演员吗？ Are you concerned with a modern day cast being
在莎士比亚时期的作品中？。 in a Shakespeare period piece?.
不。 Nope.
戏剧俱乐部的戏剧。 Drama in the drama club.
有传言说下周芯片价格将上涨。 Rumor has it that chip prices will increase next week.
你可否确认？ Can you confirm?
我不知道。 I don't know.
通货膨胀袭击高中 ta ta tan！ Inflation attacks high school ta ta tan!
不管相当于普利策奖的高中是什么， Whatever the high school equivalent of a Pulitzer prize is,
我愿意。 I would have it.
不管亚当是什么，这只是你的另一个猜谜游戏。 Whatever Adam, this is just another one of your charades.
你很快就会完成这个。 You'll be done with this soon enough.
这次不是我的同性恋朋友。 Not this time my gay friend.
道具给你。 Props to you.
下次你们看到我的时候， The next time you both see me,
我将成为一个成熟的千禧一代。 I will be a full blown millennial.
再见！[门砰地关上] Bye! [door slams shut]
反正我想如果整个世界都变成竹子 Anyways, I think if the entire world converted to bamboo
而不是使用塑料， instead of use plastic,
你可以结束战争的所有暴行。 you could end all the atrocities of war.
[欢快的音乐] ♪我可以让你成为明星♪ [upbeat music] ♪ I can make you a star ♪
哦，看看这个爷爷。 Oh, look at this grandpa.
♪在这里唱这首歌你会走得很远♪ ♪ Here sing this you'll go far ♪
是的，漂亮的头屌。 Yeah, nice head dick wad.
♪你所有的希望、你的梦想和你狂野的幻想♪ ♪ All your hopes and your dreams and your wild fantasies ♪
♪我保证我会让他们成真♪ ♪ I promise I'ma make 'em true ♪
♪找到了品牌 ♪ ♪ Got the brand ♪
♪得到了粉丝♪ ♪ Got the fans ♪
♪这都是计划的一部分♪ ♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
♪伙计，每个人都会认识你♪ ♪ Man everyone is gonna know you ♪
♪唱这首歌你会成为明星♪ ♪ Sing this you'll be a star ♪
♪告诉我这首歌是关于什么♪ ♪ Tell me what's this song about ♪
[艾瑞斯和杜鲁门咯咯笑] ♪ '什么都没有♪ [Iris and Truman giggling] ♪ 'Bout nothing at all ♪
一二三。 One, two, three.
怒吼！怒吼！ Roar! Roar!
这是什么？ What is this?
[亚当咆哮] [孩子们咯咯笑] [Adam roaring] [children giggling]
你有爪子。 You got the claws.
不好了！[虹膜] 杜鲁门！ Oh no! [Iris] Truman!
主人醒了！ The master's waking up!
设置并开火！ Set and fire!
你生病了吗？[亚当] 不。 Are you sick? [Adam] Nope.
你上班不会迟到吗？ Aren't you gonna be late for work?
[亚当] 什么工作？ [Adam] What work?
哈迪，哈哈。 Hardy, ha ha.
[亚当] 不严重，我退出了。 [Adam] No seriously, I quit.
你在开玩笑么？ You're joking?
不严重，我放弃了。 No seriously, I quit.
嘿孩子们，你为什么不下楼看一场表演呢？ Hey kids, why don't you go downstairs and watch a show?
不，我们想玩。不，我们想玩。 No, we wanna play. No, we wanna play.
哦，如果你下楼看你的节目， Oh, if you go downstairs and watch your show,
我给你做煎饼。 I'll make you pancakes.
薄煎饼！薄煎饼！ Pancakes! Pancakes!
你辞职了？ You quit?
我相当确定。 I'm pretty sure.
好吧，你是还是不是？ Well, did you or didn't you?
【车门砰地关上】 [car door slams shut]
这不好笑。 It's not funny.
好吧，这不是，不好笑。 Well, it's not, not funny.
你为什么这么做？ Why did you do that?
嗯，这是一种diss蛋糕 Well, it was a diss kind of cake
他们说他们会在蛋糕上放我想要的任何东西。 and they said they would put whatever I wanted on the cake.
好吧，不，你为什么辞职？ Okay no, why did you quit?
好吧，我正在做一份我讨厌了这么久的工作。 Well, I was doing a job that I hated for so long.
是时候让我开心了。 It was time for me to be happy.
我认为这不公平 I don't think that was really fair
你甚至没有先和我谈过这件事。 that you didn't even talk to me about it first.
相信我，这只是一小步 Well trust me, this is just one little step
我的千禧之旅。 of my millennial journey.
好吧，我希望这能奏效。 Okay well, I hope that works out.
嘿，我得到了你。 Hey, I got you.
好吧，好奇心害死猫，你知道吗？ Yeah well, curiosity killed the cat you know?
所以我有九条命去做我的事。 So I have nine lives to do my thing.
那不是那个意思。 That is not what that means.
意思是那只猫很好奇， It means that the cat was so curious,
它最终自杀了。 it ended up killing itself.
为什么不好奇害死狗。 Why not curiosity killed the dog.
我的意思是，我猜猫比狗更好奇。 I mean, I guess cats are more curious than dogs.
我不知道，我觉得狗很好奇。 I don't know, I find dogs quite curious.
好吧，不是这个意思。 Okay, that's not what it means.
我没有想出这句话所以你可以停下来 And I didn't come up with the saying so you can stop
作为一个屁股帽子。真是傻逼说。 being an ass hat. Stupid saying really.
我们要做什么 What are we gonna do
现在你没有工作为了钱？ for money now that you don't have a job?
哦，好的，我明白了。 Oh okay, I see how it is.
你只是为了我的薪水？ You're just using me for my paycheck?
是的，因为这个女孩必须吃饭。 Yeah, 'cause this girl has got to eat.
好的，我们会没事的。 Okay, we're gonna be fine.
我有足够的 PTO 现金，可以用一段时间，好吗？ I have enough PTO cash that will last a while, all right?
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
嘿！你好，你是悉尼吗？ Hey there! Hello, are you Sydney?
那是我。 That's me.
我是亚当，我是来面试的 I'm Adam, I'm here to interview
为大律师职位。 for the barrister position.
哦耶？是的。 Oh yeah? Yeah.
企业人不是吗？曾是。 Corporate guy aren't you? Was.
你为什么辞职？ Why'd you quit?
不再是雷切特先生。 No more Mr. Ratchett.
继续玩[窃笑]。 Keep playing [snickers].
我只是在寻找新的和令人兴奋的东西。 I'm just looking for something new and exciting.
嗯？啊，什么？ Huh? Huh, what?
不知道你是否适合这里。 Don't know if you'd be a fit here.
这是为什么？ Why is that?
我对你来说不够年轻、不够酷或不够时髦吗？ Am I not young or cool or hip enough for you?
我的意思是，我认为这么快就评判我是不公平的。 I mean, I think it's unfair to judge me so quickly.
只是不知道你是否可以破解这份工作。 Just don't know if you can hack this job.
我干过更困难的工作 I've worked a much more difficult job
在过去的 10 年里。 for the past 10 years.
我想我可以处理倒咖啡。 I think I can handle pouring coffee.
这份工作很疯狂而且节奏很快 This job is crazy and fast paced
它并没有那么好。 and it doesn't pay that well so.
我是游戏，我想要这份工作。 I'm game, I want this job.
对不起，请注意这里。 Excuse me, eyes up here please.
好的，好的，我们给你一个机会。 Okay, okay, we'll give you a shot.
太好了，我什么时候开始？ Great, when do I start?
马上。 Right now.
不，停下，不！什么，我按这个按钮？ No, stop, no! What, do I push this button?
不，我告诉过你这是另一个。 No, I told you it was the other one.
对不起，这是我第一次。 I'm sorry, it's my first time.
不，停止到处喷洒。 No, stop spraying everywhere.
哇！亚当，我在说话 Whoa! Adam, I was talking
关于浓缩咖啡。 about the espresso.
哦，你肯定是。 Oh, sure you were.
杰夫，给你。 Jeff, here you go.
祝杰夫有美好的一天。 Have a good day Jeff.
你刚刚看到我的客服了吗？ Did you just see my customer service?
我做到了，这令人印象深刻。 I did and it was impressive.
你雇了对的人。 You hired the right guy.
我想我做到了。 I guess I did.
这是谁？ Who's this?
哦托德，这是亚当。 Oh Todd, this is Adam.
他今天才开始。 He just started today.
嗨，老兄。你需要另一个人吗？ Hey man. You needed another person?
是的。我懂了。 Yeah. I see.
他有点戏剧性。我会说。 He's a bit dramatic. I'll say.
[明亮的音乐] [bright music]
[门砰地关上] [亚当嗡嗡声] [door slams shut] [Adam humming]
这是什么？ What is this?
孩子们在我妈妈那里 The kids are at my mom's
我们将度过千禧年的一天。 and we are gonna have a millennial day out.
哦？ Oh?
我正试图和你一起做这件事。 I'm trying to do this with you.
我配不上你 I don't deserve you.
哦等等，你在逗我吗？ Oh wait, are you kidding me?
这个地方？哦来吧， This place? Oh come on,
这就像镇上最千年的地方。 this is like the most millennial place in town.
它时尚、现代，一切都是素食主义者。 It's hip, modern and everything is vegan.
是的，我不想这样做。 Yeah, I don't wanna do this.
哦，来吧，千禧一代亚当，我们走吧。 Oh come on, millennial up Adam, let's go.
哦，求主帮助我。 Oh, Lord help me.
我的天啊。来吧。 Oh my God. Come on.
【车门砰地关上】 [car door slams shut]
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
你好？ Hello?
哦，你想要什么？ Oh, what do you want?
我可以喝覆盆子冰茶吗？ Can I get a raspberry iced tea?
我要一杯无咖啡因的咖啡。 I'll just have a decaf coffee.
哦，因为你还没有拥有一切，嗯？ Oh, 'cause you don't already have everything, mmh?
8.36 美元。 $8.36.
哦，我能拿到我的收据吗？ Oh, and can I get my receipt?
哇，这里的服务真的很棒吧？ Wow, service here is really great, huh?
嗯嗯。 Hmm mmh.
不过，这是一个很酷的地方，是吗？ It's a pretty cool place though, yeah?
是的。 Yeah.
你还好吗？嗯，什么，是的。 Are you okay? Hmm, what, yeah.
哎呀。 Oops.
你对我们有问题吗？ Do you have a problem with us?
对不起，我想和你的经理谈谈！ Excuse me, I'd like to speak to your manager!
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
我认为他不应该那样对待我们。 I don't think he should treat us like that.
没关系，没关系。 It's fine, it's fine.
这里一切都好吗？ Is everything alright over here?
哦，好吧，他是不是打扰你了 Oh okay, is he bothering you
因为我可以把他踢出去？ cause I can kick him out?
[亚当笑] [Adam laughs]
不，实际上是你那边的员工 No, actually your employee over there
对我们非常粗鲁。 has been extremely rude to us.
哦，天哪，有时感觉就像我在开托儿所。 Oh gosh, sometimes it feels like I'm running a daycare.
我在那里为托德道歉，他是。 I apologize for Todd there, he's.
不管怎样，我是悉尼。 Anyways, I'm Sydney.
哦，珍妮弗，这是亚当。 Oh, Jennifer and this is Adam.
但是当然。 But of course.
你要和她握手吗？ Are you gonna shake her hand?
哦不，不，我认为那实际上是粗鲁的 Oh no, no, I think that would actually be rude
握她的手，或你的手，或像其他人的手一样 to shake her hand, or your hand or like anyone else's hand
因为我实际上仍在练习社交距离。 cause I'm actually still practicing social distancing so.
我喜欢这个人。 I love this guy.
反正你们两个开心就好。 Anyway, you two enjoy.
哦，我忘记了一些东西。 Oh, I forgot something.
你怎么这么奇怪？ Why are you being so weird?
是这个地方，不是我的氛围。 It's this place, it's not my vibe.
你忘记了这一点。 You forgot this.
哦，看那个，纪念品[笑]。 Oh, look at that, a souvenir [chuckles].
嗯，非常感谢你的咖啡 Well, thank you so much for the coffee
和茶、纪念品和握手 and the tea and the souvenir and the hand shakes
这太棒了，太棒了。 and it's just great, great.
我们可能应该去你知道吗？ We should probably be going you know?
不，我们刚到这里。 No, we just got here.
来吧，让我们只是。 Come on, let's just.
谢谢谢谢。 Thank you, thank you.
好吧，我想我明天见。 All right, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
别装作我回来了。 Don't be so pretentious as if I'm coming back.
[戏剧音乐] [dramatic music]
你好。你好。 Hello. Hi.
你好你最近怎么样？ Hello, how are you doing?
好的。 Good.
那么接下来会发生什么？ So what happens next?
对，问问你是否可以帮助客户做任何事情。 Right, ask if you can help the customer with anything.
嗯，我正在看这辆车。 Well, I was looking at this car.
你能告诉我什么吗？ Can you tell me anything about it?
这是一辆蓝色的车。 This is a blue car.
哦，有趣，有趣。 Oh, interesting, interesting.
所以它运行良好？ So it runs well?
这是一个很好的汽车模型？ It's a good model of car?
嗯嗯。 Hmm hmm.
好吧，我会直接跟你说的，保罗。 All right, I'm gonna be straight with you, Paul.
我对汽车还不够了解 I don't know enough about cars
或者知道要问他们什么。 or know what to even ask about them.
所以我只想说它是否运行良好 So I'm just gonna say if it runs well
它看起来很漂亮，这对我来说已经足够了。 and it looks pretty, that's good enough for me.
是的。是的。 Yeah. Yeah.
所以我想我会接受的。 So I think I'll take it.
好的，您今天过得愉快，先生。 Okay, you have a good day, sir.
保罗，保罗，回到这里，伙计。 Paul, Paul, get back here, buddy.
我需要你听我的话。 I'm gonna need you to listen to my words.
我想买这辆车。 I want to buy this car.
太好了，我的第一次销售。 That's great, my first sale.
哦，那真是令人惊讶。 Oh well, that's surprising.
我很高兴这可能是我们的第一次。 I'm glad this could be our first.
这样比较特别。 It's more special that way.
好的，我会让这对你来说非常快速和容易。 All right, I'm gonna make this a real quick and easy for you.
我只有一个简单的要求。 I just have one simple request.
你知道你在汽车上戴的那些大蝴蝶结吗？ You know those big bows that you put on cars?
有什么办法可以让我得到其中之一吗？ Is there any way I can get one of those?
就在那里的顶部。 Just right on the top there.
也许是前线。 Maybe the front.
我们这里没有。 We don't have those here.
我认为他们只在电视广告中做那些 I think they only do those on TV commercials
或在豪华车上，而不是在 10,000 辆以下的汽车上。 or on luxury cars, not on cars less than 10,000.
对对对 保罗 Right, right, well Paul,
我不知道该告诉你什么，伙计。 I don't know what to tell you, man.
我的意思是这辆车很棒，而且 I mean the car is great and all,
但我真的只想要那些蝴蝶结之一。 but I really just want one of those bows.
一定有什么事你可以为我做的。 There's gotta be something that you can do for me.
来吧保罗 Come on Paul.
当心伙计，只是一个性感的家伙开车穿过。 Look out folks, just a sexy guy driving on through.
♪在找到真相之前，我从未挖得这么深♪ ♪ I never dug so deep until I found truth ♪
♪不过没关系♪ ♪ But it's alright ♪
♪没关系♪ ♪ It's alright ♪
♪我要让这成为我的一天♪ ♪ I'm gonna make this my day ♪
[虹膜] 我喜欢你的太阳镜爸爸。 [Iris] I like your sunglasses daddy.
哦，谢谢亲爱的。 Oh, thank you darling.
妈妈，我可以戴墨镜吗？ Mom, can I wear my sunglasses?
没有爱人。 No sweetheart.
但爸爸是。 But daddy is.
那是因为爸爸精神崩溃了。 That's because daddy's having a nervous breakdown.
哦，哈哈。 Oh, ha ha.
[Iris] 什么是神经衰弱？ [Iris] What's a nervous breakdown?
不用管它，吃吧。 Don't worry about it, just eat.
杜鲁门，这到底是怎么回事 Truman, how in the world
你每次都弄得这么乱吗？ do you make such a big mess every time?
过来。嘿！ Come here. Hey!
什么？那是我的！ What? That was mine!
哦，我不这么认为。它在我的盘子里。 Oh, I don't think so. It was on my plate.
什么是？我的卷。 What was? My roll.
什么卷？嘿，你为什么这样做？ What roll? Hey, why did you do that?
我想干什么就干什么。别担心爱丽丝 I do what I want. Don't worry Iris,
我再给你滚一卷。 I will get you another roll.
但是爸爸拿走了我的。 But dad took mine.
因为爸爸想要那个。 Because dad wanted that one.
别担心，爸爸会因此而惹上麻烦的。 Don't worry, dad is gonna get in trouble for that one.
什么？爸爸，没有 What? Dad, don't have
成为这样的驴子。 to be such a donkey dick.
哇，谁教你这个词？ Whoa, who taught you that word?
从你们两个。 From you two.
好吧，你不能再说那个词了。 Okay, you can't say that word anymore.
[虹膜] 为什么不呢？因为这真的很卑鄙 [Iris] Why not? Because it's a really mean
和坏话。 and bad word.
那么，不要拿我的名册。 Well then, don't take my roll.
够公平，让我们动摇它。 Fair enough, let's shake on it.
爸爸，你想和我一起玩吗？ Dad, do you wanna play with me?
今晚不行，伙计。 Not tonight, buddy.
今晚，我在玩电子游戏。 Tonight, I'm playing video games.
我可以玩吗？ Can I play?
不，这是一个成人游戏。 Nope, it's a grown up game.
我可以玩成人游戏。 I can play a grown up game.
不，不，不，这只是给我的家伙，也许是另一个时间。 No, no, no, this is just for me guys, maybe another time.
[孩子们] 我们想玩。呃呃。 [Kids] We want to play. Uh uh.
[孩子们] 我们想玩。你们。 [Kids] We want to play. You guys.
[孩子们] 我们想玩。这是我的夜晚。 [Kids] We want to play. This is my night.
我们想玩。我们想玩。 We want to play. We want to play.
我们想要。我们想要。 We want. We want.
[托德]嗨，我能得到什么？ [Todd] Hi, what can I get ya?
嗨，我能要一份双份浓缩咖啡吗？ Hi, can I just get one double espresso.
肯定的事。 Sure thing.
亚当，一杯双份浓缩咖啡。是的。 Adam, one double espresso. Yeah.
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
♪当树枝折断时，我将成为地面♪ ♪ And when the branch breaks I'll be the ground ♪
♪我会成为你脚下的春天♪ ♪ I'll be the spring in your step ♪
♪当你在地上时♪ ♪ When you're on the ground ♪
【悉尼】亚当？♪当♪ [Sydney] Adam? ♪ And when ♪
你好，亚当 [吹口哨]。 Hello, Adam [whistles].
你好你在听吗？ Hello, are you there?
你好！悉尼，嘿， Hi! Sydney, hey,
我能为你做什么？ what can I do for you?
早上过得怎么样？ How did the morning go?
哦，很好。 Oh, it was good.
有点疯狂，但很好。 A little crazy, but it was good.
是的？是的。 Yeah? Yeah.
他搞砸了很多。 He messed up a lot.
没关系，他会得到的。 It's okay, he'll get it.
我想我们会留住他。 I think we'll keep him.
哦，砰，没有一个士兵掉队。 Oh boom, no soldier left behind.
你还好吗？ Are you okay?
是的，我只是不喜欢刚才那个笑话。 Yeah, I just didn't like that joke just now.
哦对不起。 Oh, sorry.
不，这不是你的错。 No, it's not your fault.
我爸爸是军人 My dad was a soldier
几个月前他就这样在海外去世了。 and he died overseas a few months ago so.
天啊， Oh my gosh,
我真的很抱歉。 I'm really sorry.
我不应该那样说。 I should not have said that.
[笑]我对你太好了。 [laughs] I got you so good.
等等，这是开玩笑？ Wait, that was a joke?
你太容易了，伙计。 You're too easy, man.
伙计，死爸爸的笑话，不酷。 Dude, dead dad joke, not cool.
但说真的，早上的高峰是怎么过去的？ But really, how did the morning rush go?
嗯，你知道，我今天确实学到了一些很大的东西。 Well you know, I did learn something pretty big today.
是的？是的，你会惊慌的 Yeah? Yeah, you would be alarmed
我说的很惊慌 and I'm talking alarmed
关于有多少人使用洗手间 about how many guys use the restroom
不要洗手。 and don't wash their hands.
不不不不， No, no, no, no,
你会惊讶 you would be surprised
有多少女孩不洗手。 at how many girls don't wash their hands.
真的吗？真的。 Really? Really.
我的意思是，男人通常都很恶心。 I mean, guys are generally so gross.
我对女孩的期望更高。 I expect more from the girls.
不。 No.
你知道，没有垫圈绝对令人作呕， You know, the no washers are definitely disgusting,
但我想我今天发现了更糟糕的事情。 but I think I found something worse today.
什么？过洗衣机。 What? The over washer.
所以我去了洗手间，对吧？ So I went to the restroom, right?
还有一位不愿透露姓名的同事 And there was a fellow employee who will remain unnamed
他正在做他的小便时间。 and he was doing his pee pee time.
然后他去洗手。 And then he goes to wash his hands.
我去小便，然后去洗手。 I go do my pee pee time and then I go wash my hands.
介意你，他还在那里洗手， He's still there washing his hands mind you,
这没什么大不了的。 which isn't really a big deal.
我按正常时间洗手 I wash my hands for the normal amount of time
用于洗手。 for washing your hands.
哪个是？ Which is?
这是唱生日快乐，一般是那个时间段。 Which is singing happy birthday, generally that timeframe.
好吧，继续。 Okay, go on.
不管怎样，所以我完成了，托德仍在擦洗 Anyway, so I finish up and Todd is still scrubbing away
我就像那边发生的事情一样？ and I'm just like what happened over there?
就像他在小便池离开犯罪现场一样？ Like he was leaving a crime scene at the urinal?
是的，就像你在你的下界触摸了什么 Yeah, like what did you touch in your nether regions
证明那么多洗手是合理的？ to justify that much handwashing?
别再欺负人了。 Stop being a bully.
如果你需要我，我会在后面做订单。 I will be doing orders in the back if you need me.
好了孩子们，是时候出发了。 All right kids, it's time to go.
至少试着清理一下这里什么的？ At least try to clean up around here or something?
爱你们，今天玩得开心。 Love you guys, have fun today.
我真的对这些选择不满意 I'm really not happy with the choices
你现在正在做的。 that you're making right now.
太爱你了。 Love you too hun.
我想和爸爸呆在家里玩得开心。 I wanna stay home with daddy and have fun.
哦，但那样就不再有趣了。 Oh, but then it wouldn't be fun anymore.
好吧，孩子们，我们走吧。 All right kids, let's go.
我们上车去吧。 Let's go get in the car.
好的。 Okay.
来吧，是时候上车了。 Come on, time to get in the car.
该走了 Time to go
我们去吧，臭臭的。 Let's go you stinker.
[欢快的音乐] [upbeat music]
[亚当尖叫] [Adam screaming]
[亚当] 伙计，我不能动摇这个女孩。 [Adam] Dude, I can't shake this girl.
[马特] 经理女孩？ [Matt] The manager girl?
是的，这很奇怪。 Yeah, it's weird.
除了珍，我从来没有对任何人有过感情。 I've never had feelings for anyone other than Jen.
现在我已经觉得我在欺骗她。 And now I already feel like I'm cheating on her.
伙计，这没什么大不了的。 Dude, it is no big deal.
就像我无法停止想她一样。 It's just like I can't stop thinking about her.
我觉得我又回到了高中。 I feel like I'm in high school again.
就像那次你试图亲吻贝基 Like that time you tried to kiss Becky
当她正在参加考试的时候？ while she was in the middle of taking a test?
不，不，这更像是在我试图约那个聋哑女孩出去的时候 No, no, this is more like in between the time I tried to ask out that deaf girl
还有那次我在滑冰室和我的一个女朋友分手了。 and the time I got broken up with one of my girlfriends in the skating room.
是的，你看起来真的很可爱。 Yeah, you look really, really cute.
直到今天，我还没有滑过冰。 To this day, I haven't been skating.
你需要躺下。 You need to get laid.
停下来。不，你知道我的意思。 Stop it. No, you know what I mean.
你太紧张了，你知道的。 You're too wound up and you know it.
看，我真的感觉很好。 Look, I actually feel really good.
这整个做我想做的事 This whole doing whatever I want thing
真的为我工作。 is really working for me.
嗯，我有个主意。什么？ Well, I have an idea. What?
让我们为您设置 Tinder。火种？ Let's set you up on Tinder. Tinder?
哦不，我还没准备好。 Oh no, I am not ready for that.
来吧，伙计，这都是你想法的一部分。 Come on man, this is all part of your idea.
你要试水，做实验？ You got to test the waters, experiment?
不，不。递上你的手机。 No, no. Hand your phone.
马特。把你的手机递给我。 Matt. Hand me your phone.
好的，马特，来吧。把你的手机递给我。 Okay Matt, come on. Hand me your phone.
伙计。把你的手机递给我。 Dude. Hand me your phone.
这是你的刻录机，对吧？ This is your burner phone, right?
我的刻录机电话？ My burner phone?
是的，一部手机不能有两种生活。 Yeah, you can't have two lives with one phone.
我现在必须有两部手机吗？ I have to have two phones now?
你觉得我们还能怎么做 How else do you think we're gonna do this
没有你被抓住？ without you getting caught?
我什至不想这样做。 I don't even wanna do this.
好吧，你知道吗？ Okay, you know what?
拿走你的，我们会设置你的 Tinder 账户 Take yours, we'll set up your Tinder account
在我的主要手机上 on my primary phone
然后珍就不可能抓住你了。 and then there's no way Jen will catch you.
好吧，这个逻辑是有道理的。 Okay yeah, this logic is riddled with reason.
微笑！[手机摄像头点击] Smile! [phone camera clicks]
好吧，现在你有什么有趣的事情吗？ All right, now what is something interesting about you?
嘿康纳，我有什么有趣的地方？ Hey Connor, what is something interesting about me?
我不知道。 I don't know.
好的。[手机震动] Okay. [phone vibrating]
你好，嘿嘿。 Hello, oh hey.
等等，你已经有小提琴独奏会了吗？ Wait, you have a violin recital already?
呵呵，心动了吗？ Oh, are you excited?
你真棒。 You are so awesome.
不，对不起，我做不到。 No sorry, I can't make it.
是的，爸爸即使在晚上也要工作南瓜。 Yeah, daddy's got to work even at night pumpkin.
好吧，好吧，不过你会杀了它。 All right, all right, you're gonna kill it though.
你做得很好。 You do good.
爱你，再见。 Love you, bye bye.
现在对你的孩子撒谎？ Lying to your kids now?
好的，接下来会发生什么？ Okay, so what happens next?
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
滚动浏览人们的个人资料并点击喜欢。 Scrolling through people's profiles and clicking like.
等等，他们知道你在做什么吗？ Wait, do they know you're doing that?
是的，它会向他们发送通知。 Yeah, it sends them notification.
好吧，我想看看。 Okay well, I wanna see.
哦不，不，不，不，不，不，你不擅长这个。 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, you are no good at this.
你甚至不能想出前五名的名人名单。 You can't even come up with the top five celebrity list.
好吧，如果我应该喜欢这些人， Okay well, if I'm supposed to like these people,
我至少应该选择它们，是吗？ I at least should pick them, yeah?
好吧，但我得拿着电话。 Okay, but I get to hold the phone.
好吧，好吧，不，不。 Fine, okay no, no.
她的鼻子太大了。 Her nose is too big.
什么？不，不，不，通过那个。 What? No, no, no, pass that one.
好吧，不，化妆太多了，我的天哪。 Okay no, too much makeup, my goodness.
那是低发际线。 That's a low hairline.
不，哦不，不。 Nope, oh no, nope.
不，滑动，不。 No, swipe, no.
哦，她的眉毛靠得很近。 Oh, her eyebrows are so close together.
她很可爱。 She's cute.
卡西莫多，通过，通过。 Quasimodo, pass, pass.
哦，你好巴克牙。 Oh, hello buck teeth.
好吧，来吧伙计。 Okay, come on man.
什么？你说不 What? You're saying no
给每个女孩。 to every girl.
嗯，是的，因为他们不对。 Well, yeah, 'cause they're not right.
你是怎么让一个女孩爱上你的？ How did you even get one girl to fall in love with you?
那是什么意思？这意味着你太挑剔了，这就是它的意思。 What is that supposed to mean? It means you're being too picky that's what it means.
这意味着你甚至不明白 It means that you don't even understand
一个漂亮的女孩是什么样子的。 what a beautiful girl looks like.
看看这个女孩，她一定是个什么样的人， Look at this girl, she's gotta to be what,
至少一个八？ an eight at least?
我不喜欢她的发型。 I don't like her haircut.
你不会对她剪的头发大发雷霆。 You're not gonna be bone storming her hair cut.
好吧，如果她就是这样照顾楼上的， Well, if that's how she takes care of the upstairs,
谁知道楼下是什么样子的？ who knows what the downstairs looks like?
有时这是一件好事。 Sometimes that's a good thing.
楼下探索一些创意也不错。 It's good to explore some creative downstairs.
不，不，不，不，不，不。 No, no, no, no, no, no.
你知道吗， You know what,
反正你也配不上她。 you couldn't have gotten a match with her anyways.
哦，好吧，好吧，继续喜欢那个。 Oh okay, okay yeah, go ahead and like that one.
我会给你看。 I'll show you.
喜欢它，或滑动，或按是我想要这个按钮。 Like it, or swipe, or push the yes I want this button.
告诉她是的，来吧。喜欢。 Just tell her yes, come on. Liked.
天哪，接下来会发生什么？ Goodness, so what happens next?
那么接下来，你等着看你是否足够幸运 Well next, you wait to see if you're lucky enough
让她给你一个赞，然后你就有了匹配。 for her to give you a like and then you have a match.
别担心。 Don't worry about it.
我会开始一些谈话，给你一两个约会。 I'll start some conversations, get you a date or two.
这实际上会很有趣。 This actually could be a lot of fun.
好吧，我很高兴我的爱情生活带给你 Well, I'm glad that my love life just brings you
这么多娱乐。 so much entertainment.
确实如此。 It really does.
这有点像电子游戏或其他东西。 It's kind of like a video game or something.
好吧，我得走了。 All right, I gotta go.
哦，嘿，我应该和你一起出去。 Oh hey, I should head out with you.
今晚我和这个小妞第三次约会了。 I got a third date with this chick tonight.
我希望今晚会是夜晚， I'm hoping tonight's gonna be the night,
一点骨头风暴。 a little bone storming.
[亚当] 伙计，你怎么一直对你的妻子撒谎并逍遥法外？ [Adam] Dude, how do you keep lying to your wife and getting away with it?
[马特] 我不知道。 [Matt] I don't know.
[门砰地关上] [door slams shut]
[笑]贝蒂怀特。 [chuckles] Betty White.
你好，美女。 Hello, beautiful.
我喜欢它。 I love it.
她会喜欢的。 She'll like it.
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
我想你已经到了。 I think you've arrived.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
你是千禧一代，兄弟。 You're a full on millennial, bro.
你这么认为？ You think so?
只剩下一件事要做。 Only one thing left to do.
什么？ What?
你得给悉尼一个赤裸裸的拥抱。 You gotta give Sydney the old naked hug.
伙计，不，我不能。 Dude no, I can't.
来吧，多年后， Come on, years from now,
你不想告诉你的孩子你已经是千禧一代了。 you don't wanna tell your kids you went part millennial.
你想要完整的千禧一代。 You wanna go full millennial.
及时行乐，就去做吧，现在是时候了，宝贝！ Carpe diem, just do it, the time is now baby!
是的，激动人心的演讲莎士比亚。 Yeah, rousing speech Shakespeare.
好吧，那就去和她约会吧。 Okay, then just go on a date with her.
不，我仍然会觉得自己是在欺骗 Jen。 No, I'll still feel like a majorly cheating on Jen.
这么一想， Think about it this way,
这不像你正在接受另一份工作。 it's not like you're taking another job.
就像你要去面试一样。 It's just like you're going on an interview.
那你会做吗？ So you'll do it?
好的，完美。等等，伙计 Okay, perfect. Wait dude,
你在干嘛？ what are you doing?
嘿米凯拉，对吧？悉尼。 Hey Mikayla, right? Sydney.
哦，这就是我的意思。 Oh, that's what I meant.
是的，看，我的名字是马特。 Yeah look, my name's Matt.
我想你认识我的朋友亚当，对吧？ I think you know my friend Adam, right?
我认同。 I think so.
好吧，我正在努力 Okay look, I'm trying
设置这个小小的双重约会对象 to set up this little double date thing
不过我不太擅长计划。 I'm not that good at planning though.
我想知道你是否愿意过来 I'm wondering if you wanted to come over
也许我们能想出点办法？ and maybe we could figure something out?
我想我可以。 I guess I could.
酷，过来。 Cool, come on over.
我会跟随你的脚步。好的。 I'll follow your lead. Okay.
所以，双重约会吧？ So, double date huh?
你的翼人会做所有的谈话吗 Is your wing man gonna be doing all the talking
也适合你？ for you as well?
哇，我真的不会去， Whoa, I'm not actually gonna be going,
我们的好友康纳会和你的朋友一起去。 our buddy Connor is gonna go with your friend.
好吧，告诉你的朋友，我七点会在那里见到他。 Well, tell your friend that I will see him there at seven.
哦，也许给他一些闪存卡 Oh and maybe make him some flash cards
所以他有话要说。 so he has something to say.
对对对对。 Right, right, right.
伙计，你和你的暗恋对象有个约会 Dude, you got a date with your crush,
但你不能把这个搞砸 but you can't screw this one up
因为这也是工作恋情 cause it's work romance too
这对每个人来说都可能看起来很糟糕。 and that could look bad for everyone.
哥们，你怎么不去？计划的所有部分，我的男人。 Dude, why aren't you gonna be there? All part of the plan my man.
和康纳一起看， See with Connor there,
你会看起来像一个穿着闪亮盔甲的骑士。 you are gonna look like a knight in shining armor.
奇怪的日期，为什么，为什么，为什么！ Odd dates, why, why, why!
如果约会不顺利，那会是我吗？ Is that gonna be me if the date doesn't go well?
我想你的休息时间快结束了。 I think your break's about done.
是啊是啊。 Yeah, yeah.
你要去哪里？ Where are you going?
和伙计们出去。 Out with the guys.
好吧，既然你似乎在做所有的决定 Well, since you seem to be making all the decisions
对我们来说，你想告诉我吗 for us, do you wanna tell me
我们将如何支付这些账单？ how we're gonna pay for these bills?
我不知道，把它从我们的积蓄里拿出来。 I don't know, take it out of our savings.
什么储蓄？ What savings?
我们用信用卡付款吧。 Let's pay with a credit card.
好吧，我认为自己是一个很酷的妻子 Okay, I consider myself to be a pretty chill wife
我讨厌我变成了一个唠叨的人。 and I hate how I'm turning into a nag.
那么，别唠叨了。 Well then, don't nag.
我觉得我必须这样做。 I feel like I have to.
我们有责任养育我们的孩子， We have a responsibility to provide for our children,
你似乎已经忘记的东西。 something which you seem to have forgotten about.
你知道吗，我得到了另一份工作 You know what, I got another job
所以我们应该能够让它发挥作用。 so we should be able to make it work.
对，最低工资加小费。 Right, minimum wage plus tips.
是的，并没有完全削减它。 Yeah, doesn't quite cut it.
很抱歉我终于找到了我喜欢做的事情。 I am sorry I finally found something that I enjoy doing.
好吧，这个小实验 All right, well this little experiment
正在给事情带来压力。 is putting a strain on things.
不，亲爱的，这不再是一个实验。 Nope, and this is no longer an experiment dear.
我真的很享受成为千禧一代。 I actually enjoy being a millennial.
是的，你喜欢它，因为你可以做任何你想做的事。 Yeah, you like it because you get to do whatever the hell you want.
这有什么问题？ And what's wrong with that?
你决定要一个家庭 You made a decision to have a family
我讨厌打破它给你，但你不能做 and I hate to break it to you, but you don't get to do
你永远想要的东西。 what you want all the time for forever.
我当然可以。 Sure I can.
我嫁给你是因为你头脑清醒。 I married you because you had your head on straight.
你很有耐心，你很成熟，有爱心，无私 You were patient and you were mature and loving and selfless
这对父亲和丈夫来说都是巨大的品质。 which are tremendous attributes for a father and a husband.
而这全新的前景 And this whole new outlook
你所拥有的只能走这么远 that you have can only go so far before you have
做出重大决定。 to make a big decision.
哦，那是什么？ Oh, what's that?
如果你想留住你的家人。 If you wanna keep your family or not.
哦耶。 Oh yeah.
哥们，你真恶心。 Dude, you're disgusting.
什么，我得吃饭了，否则我会生病的。 What, I gotta eat or else I'm gonna get sick.
如果我生病了，我们谁都不会过得愉快。 And if I get sick, none of us are gonna have a good time.
我已经感觉不舒服了。 I already feel sick.
不，你只是紧张，没关系。 No, you're just nervous and it's okay.
我的意思是，当你知道的时候，我第一次也很紧张。 I mean, I was nervous the first time too when you know.
伙计，我不是神经病， Dude, I'm not nervous sick,
我其实只是感觉不太好。 I actually just don't feel good.
你意识到这不是我第一次对吗？ And you realize this isn't my first time right?
我结婚10年了，有两个孩子。 I've been married for 10 years and I have two kids.
你不必把你的成就丢在我面前。 You don't have to throw your accomplishments in my face.
你为什么穿那件愚蠢的衬衫？这不是一件愚蠢的衬衫。 Why did you wear that stupid shirt? It's not a stupid shirt.
你是个愚蠢的衬衫。 You're a stupid shirt.
你想要一些吗？ You want some?
不，我们要吃晚饭了。 No, we're about to eat dinner.
女士你好。你好。 Hello ladies. Hello.
这是凯拉。 This is Keira.
你好。嗨凯拉 Hi. Hi Keira
这是康纳。 This is Connor.
好吧，我想我们会坐下来。 Okay, I guess we'll sit down.
那么，我们可以请女士们喝点什么吗？ So, can we get you ladies anything to drink?
当然，那会很好。 Sure, that'd be nice.
你们俩都不像一厢情愿的女性，对吧？ Neither of you are like wishywashy fems, right?
你知道，就像有铁杆女权主义者 You know, like there's hardcore feminists
都是关于平等的权利， that are all about equal rights,
但也有一些如意算盘。 but then there's the wishywashy ones.
有什么不同？ What's the difference?
好吧，一厢情愿的人正在争取平等的权利 Okay well, the wishywashys are fighting for equal rights
但他们也期待约会时的传统骑士精神。 but they also expect traditional chivalry on dates.
你知道，比如开门和付饭钱之类的。 You know, like opening doors and paying for the meals or something like that.
我就像，你正在努力做到最好 I'm just like, you're trying to have the best
两个世界，你不能同时拥有它。 of both worlds and you can't have it both ways.
我们可以为我们的一半付钱。 We're fine paying for our half.
哦，好的，谢谢。 Oh good, thanks.
不，我实际上只是在开玩笑。 No, I was actually just kidding.
只是做一个愚蠢的观察。 Just making a stupid observation.
他经常这样做。 He does that a lot.
我没办法。 I can't help it.
只是有很多愚蠢的事情需要观察。 There's just a lot of stupid things to observe.
那么，我呢？ Well, what about me?
我有什么蠢事吗？ Is anything stupid about me?
不，不，你一点都不傻。 Nope, no, there's nothing stupid about you.
你只是美丽，聪明，有趣和善良。 You're just beautiful, and smart, and funny and good.
那你康纳呢？ So what about you Connor?
你想知道什么？ What do you wanna know?
我只是想稍微了解一下你。 I'm just trying to get to know you a little bit.
那么，你想知道什么？ Well, what would you like to know?
你做什么工作？好吧，你去问那个。 What do you do for work? Fine, go ahead and ask that.
打扰一下？ Excuse me?
天哪，你做的所有含糊不清的问题是怎么回事？ Jeez, what's with all the vague what you do questions?
进入主题凯伦。 Get to the point Karen.
我的天啊。 Oh my God.
凯拉，他是个笑话。 Keira, he is a joke.
我们只是要去小男孩的房间 We're just gonna head to the little boy's room
梳洗一下好吗？ and freshen up okay?
太恶心了，我们不需要 That's disgusting, we don't need
了解您的详细信息。 to know about your details.
我在谈论我和你的朋友。 I'm talking about me and you buddy.
哦不，我很好。 Oh no, I'm good.
好的，我们马上回来。 Okay, we'll be right back.
伙计，你他妈的在外面做什么？ Dude, what the hell are you doing out there?
放松，这是我策略的一部分。 Relax, it's a part of my strategy.
你的策略是斥责他们。 Your strategy is to berate them.
不，不，不，不，不，我不会强奸她。 No, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna rape her.
哦，我的上帝，不要斥责，斥责。 Oh my God, no berate, berate.
看，我表现得好像我不在乎， Look, I act like I don't care,
就像我对她不感兴趣 like I'm not interested in her
这让她更想要我。 and it makes her want me even more.
所以越装作我不要她， So the more act like I don't want her,
那么她会喜欢的。 then she's gonna love it.
我想，我不想要她，但后来她想要这个。 I'm like, I don't want her, but then she wants this.
伙计，你太过分了，好吧> Dude, you're taking it too far all right>
好的。调低声音。 Okay, fine. Tone it down.
哦，天哪，我想我得拉屎了。 Oh my God, I think I gotta shit.
我的天，我的胃痛得厉害。 My goodness, my stomach hurts so bad.
看，在我们来之前你应该已经吃过了。 See, you should've ate before we came.
他妈的闭嘴，出去好好做人，好吗？ Shut the hell, get out there and make nice, all right?
别再这么傻了。 Stop being such a doofus.
你刚刚甩了我吗？ Did you just flick me?
走出去。 Get out there.
【马桶冲水】 [toilet water flushes]
什么？ What?
【马桶冲水】 [toilet water flushes]
王八蛋！ Son of a bitch!
【马桶冲水】 [toilet water flushes]
王八蛋！ Son of a bitch!
你的狗叫什么名字？ What's your dog's name?
菲利克斯。 Felix.
就是这个名字。我知道。 That's quite the name. I know.
好吧，他们似乎相处得好多了。 Okay, so they seem to be getting along a lot better.
【悉尼】我帮你订的，希望没问题。 [Sydney] I ordered for you, I hope that's okay.
哦，是的，你找我做什么？ Oh yeah, what'd you get me?
猪脚。 Pig's feet.
哦真的吗？ Oh really?
是的，服务员说他们真的很好 Yeah, the waiter says they're really good
所以我就跟着去了。 so I just went with it.
[凯拉咯咯笑] [Keira giggling]
说说你自己， Tell me about yourself,
与工作无关的东西？ something that's not workrelated?
嗯，我来自密歇根 Well, I'm from Michigan
我还有一个姐姐在那里 and I still have a sister that's back there
和我的爸爸妈妈。 with my mom and dad.
好吧，你为什么搬到这里来？ Okay, why did you move out here?
我想要新的体验。 I wanted to new experiences.
我喜欢把事情混在一起，让生活变得有趣。 I like mixing things up you know, keeping life interesting.
再加上密歇根有点坑， Plus Michigan is a bit of a hole,
就像一个冰冻在某种洞上的地狱。 like a hell frozen over kind of hole.
为什么？ Why?
我来自的小镇，人们只是，我不知道， The town I'm from, people just, I don't know,
他们和高中时一样。 they stayed the same as they were in high school.
没有太多的增长或变化 Not a lot of growth or change
我想我刚刚意识到 and I guess I just realized
我想探索生活 that I wanted to explore life
我想要世界各地不同的地方 and I want different places around the world
帮助塑造我是谁。 to help shape who I am.
最近，我有点觉得我得到了 Lately, I kind of feel like I've gotten
进入就像一个车辙。 into like just a rut.
我的生活只是同样的例行公事 My life is just the same routine
就像我所有的其他高中朋友回家一样。 like all my other high school friends back home.
是的，你有。 Yeah, you have.
好吧，你怎么知道的？ Okay, how would you know that?
您已确保一切安全且一致。 You have kept everything safe and consistent.
我会让你知道 I'll have you know
在我的时代，我是派对动物。 that I was quite the party animal back in my day.
哦真的吗？嗯嗯。 Oh really? Hmm hmm.
好吧伙计们，谁是灵活的？ All right guys, who's flexible?
我得到的不是一场而是两场龙卷风。 I got not one but two games of twister.
你每天午餐吃同样的东西。 You eat the same thing for lunch every day.
好的，所以你现在密切关注我的午餐？ Okay, so you're keeping tabs on my lunches now?
我能说什么？ What can I say?
我是一个午餐跟踪者。 I'm a lunch stalker.
天哪，我羡慕你。 Gosh, I envy you.
为何如此？ How so?
你只是无忧无虑，你可以为所欲为。 You're just carefree and you do whatever you want.
生命短暂。 Life is short.
我的意思是，做让你快乐的事吧？ I mean, do what makes you happy right?
什么让你快乐？ What makes you happy?
新体验，探索， New experiences, exploring,
结识新朋友。 meeting new people.
我最喜欢的是做我害怕的事情。 What I love most of all is doing things I'm afraid of.
那太棒了。 That is so awesome.
真恶心 That's disgusting.
[笑]哦，你是认真的。 [chuckles] Oh, you're serious.
对不起，不，不，不。 I'm sorry, no, no, no.
你不应该看到那个。 You weren't supposed to see that.
凯拉，怎么了？ Keira, what's wrong?
他的手机里有他大便的照片。 He has pictures of his poop on his phone.
哇，恶心。 Wow, gross.
是的，他确实有这些。 Yeah, he does actually have those.
来，西德。 Come on Syd.
重新安排，我猜？ Reschedule, I guess?
是的。 Yeah.
凉爽的。 Cool.
每个人都大便，就像小坚果一样。 Everybody poops, it was a little nugget like a little nut.
伙计！我没有展示大的东西。 Dude! I didn't show the big stuff.
我的天啊！没关系，你要卷吗？ Oh my God! It's okay, you want a roll?
不，还有很多。 No. There's a lot of them left.
[Jen] 我想我们都应该戴上王冠，不是吗？ [Jen] I think we should all have crowns on, don't you?
嗯嗯。不，你不想要皇冠？ Hmm hmm. No, you don't want a crown?
嗯嗯。看我觉得他们... Hmm hmm. Look I think they're...
那些是什么？ What are those?
他们正在吃巨大的水果， They're eating giant fruit,
这几乎是巨型梨的大小。 that's almost the size Giant pears.
[蟋蟀鸣叫][敲门] [crickets chirping] [knocking on door]
嘿。嘿。 Hey. Hey.
对不起，我室友在睡觉。 Sorry, my roommate's sleeping.
我们过去吧。 Let's go over here.
哦对不起。 Oh sorry.
这是怎么回事？ What's up?
我只是想道歉。 I just wanted to apologize.
这不是我想要的约会方式。 That is not how I wanted this date to go.
没关系，这不是你的错。 It's fine, it's not your fault.
凯拉只是有点过分了。 And Keira's just a bit overdramatic.
所以每个人都会拉屎。确切地。 So everyone poops. Exactly.
我的意思是，只是不是每个人都拍它。 I mean, just not everyone takes pictures of it.
对对对对。 Right, right, yeah.
我很抱歉我的朋友。 I am sorry about my friend.
康纳有时可以成为一个真正的工具。 Connor can be a real tool sometimes.
我真的很想和你好好约会。 I really wanted to go on a proper date with you.
我也是。 Me too.
我应该走了。 I should go.
你不必。 You don't have to.
我的意思是，你可以留下或随便什么。 I mean, you could stay or whatever.
我应该去吧。 I should probably go.
[轻音乐] [gentle music]
你确定你不想留下？ Are you sure you don't wanna stay?
你可以进来。 You can come in.
不，我稍后会抓住你。 No, I'll just catch you later.
好的。 Okay.
♪然而你现在可能会觉得♪ ♪ However you might feel right now ♪
♪别人也有同感♪ ♪ Someone else is feeling it too ♪
♪经历你所有的起起落落♪ ♪ Through all of your ups and downs ♪
♪别人会和你一起起起落落 ♪ ♪ Someone else is gonna rise and fall with you ♪
♪也许你只是不相信♪ ♪ Maybe you just don't believe it ♪
♪也许很难看到它♪ ♪ Maybe it's too hard to see it ♪
♪也许你只需要感受一下♪ ♪ Maybe you just need to feel it ♪
♪也许那时你会相信♪ ♪ Maybe then you will believe it ♪
♪你一个人度过的每一刻♪ ♪ Every moment that you spend alone ♪
♪拜访某人是有理由的♪ ♪ There is a reason to call on someone ♪
♪成为光♪ ♪ To be the light ♪
♪帮助他们回家♪ ♪ To help bring them home ♪
♪看一看满天繁星♪ ♪ Look at the stars in the all the sky between ♪
♪你感觉地面停留在下面♪ ♪ You feel the ground stay underneath ♪
♪乌云背后，阳光依旧灿烂♪ ♪ Behind the clouds the sun's still shining ♪
♪所以继续 继续 继续♪ ♪ So carry on carry on carry on ♪
♪任何能帮助你度过夜晚的东西都可以♪ ♪ It's alright whatever helps you through the night ♪
♪任何能让你内心完整的东西♪ ♪ Whatever makes you whole inside ♪
♪没关系♪ ♪ It's all right ♪
♪所以坚持♪ ♪ So hold on ♪
♪奋斗会让你坚强♪ ♪ The struggle's gonna make you strong ♪
♪海很快就会改变♪ ♪ The sea will change before too long ♪
♪所以坚持♪ ♪ So hold on ♪
♪继续 继续♪ ♪ Carry on carry on ♪
[汽车喇叭鸣笛] [汽车警报声] [car horn honking] [car alarm blaring]
[狗吠] [dog barking]
【安全带警报声】 [seat belt alarm beeping]
[轻音乐] [gentle music]
【车门砰地关上】 [car door slams shut]
[门砰地关上] [door slams shut]
我离开多久了？ How long have I been gone?
估计太长了 Too long I guess.
这只是某种恐吓策略吗？ Is this just some scare tactic?
这是数学。 This is math.
我们甚至付不起下个月的抵押贷款。 We can't even afford next month's mortgage payment.
孩子们在哪里？ Where are the kids?
在我妈妈那里。 At my mom's.
我们会留在那里 We'll stay there
一段时间，直到我们可以找到一个更小的地方。 for a while until we can find a smaller place.
那里有空给我吗？ Is there room for me there?
不是现在。 Not currently.
看，我可以再找一份工作 Look, I can get another job
或者尝试找回我的旧工作。 or maybe try to get my old job back.
如果你对我和孩子们不满意， If you're not happy with me and the kids,
拖出来有什么意义？ what's the point of dragging this out?
你不觉得你有点急于求成吗？ Don't you think you're rushing into this a bit?
当你没有出现时，Iris 被摧毁了 Iris was devastated when you didn't show up
她的小提琴独奏会。 to her violin recital.
她哭了很多次。 She cried a lot.
你让你女儿哭了 You made your daughter cry
因为你只是想让她出去玩。 because you just want her to go out and play.
你曾经在那里，现在你已经不在了。 You used to be there and you're just not anymore.
我不想和你吵架。 And I don't wanna fight with you.
我不想和你争论。 I don't wanna argue with you.
我想为孩子们做最好的事情。 I wanna do what's best for the kids.
我不能接受这种行为作为一种模式。 And I can't live with this behavior as a pattern.
看起来我把这个搞砸了。 It looks like I screwed this one up.
关心我是否接受这些？ Care if I take these?
无论你想要亚当。 Whatever you want Adam.
[敲门] [knock on door]
嘿，对不起，这么早。 Hey sorry it's so early.
我以为你是... I thought you were...
一切都好吗？ Is everything okay?
不，我不会说一切都好。 No, I wouldn't say everything's okay.
嗯，这是怎么回事？ Well, what's going on?
你在我之前就知道了。 You knew about it before I did.
那你告诉我？ So you tell me?
你是怎么发现的？ How did you find out?
在他的一部手机中发现了一条消息。 Found a message in one of his phones.
看麦迪，我很抱歉。 Look Maddie, I am sorry.
我发现的 That I found out
或者我被骗了。 or that I've been cheated on.
看来我们要离婚了。 It looks like we're headed towards divorce.
马特似乎根本不在乎他伤害了我或孩子们。 Matt doesn't even seem to care that he hurt me or the kids.
他告诉我他很高兴他被抓住了。 He told me he was glad he was caught.
看，麦迪他 Look, Maddie he
那个混蛋可以为所欲为。 That bastard could do whatever the hell he wants.
[门砰地关上] [door slams shut]
[泰迪] 我希望你知道你在做什么。 [Teddy] I hope you know what you're doing.
伙计，我知道我在做什么。 Dude, I know what I'm doing.
那天晚上我遇到了这个小奇卡。 There's this little chica that I met the other night.
效果很好。 It worked out well.
你想在晚餐时做一些旧时装吗？ Do you wanna make some old fashions for dinner,
过夜吗？ make a night of it?
你需要慢下来。 You need to slow down.
嘿亚当，来吧，伙计。 Hey Adam, come on in buddy.
你没有给我们回短信 You didn't text us back
所以我们不确定你是否会来。 so we weren't sure if you were coming.
这是什么？ What is this?
我们在庆祝。 We're celebrating.
嘿，伙计，我实际上刚从你家回来。 Hey man, I actually just came from your house.
啊，是的，是的，是的。 Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
婚姻结束了，我终于自由了，来吧。 Marriage is over, I'm finally free so come on.
你要对你的孩子做什么？ What are you gonna do about your kids?
我不知道。 I don't know.
麦迪只会保留它们。 Maddie will just keep 'em.
嘿伙计，我真的很喜欢麦迪。 Hey man, I actually really like Maddie.
你不知道你在做什么。 You don't know what the hell you're doing.
我的意思是，她很好，但现在我可以为所欲为 I mean, she's okay but now I can do whatever I want
所以我们在庆祝。 so we're celebrating.
你是个混蛋。 You're an asshole.
而你们，你们是混蛋，做任何事情 And you guys, you're assholes for doing whatever this is
而我是个混蛋。 and I'm an asshole.
我不敢相信我真的想要这个。 I can't believe I actually wanted this.
我们在伤害人。 We're hurting people.
我们最应该关心的人。 People that we should care about the most.
是的，我不能。 And yeah, I can't.
[门砰地关上] [door slams shut]
[中速音乐] [mid tempo music]
亚当，好久没见到你了。 Adam, haven't seen you for a while.
是的，是的，这基本上就是我来这里的原因。 Yeah, yeah that's basically why I'm here.
有什么可以帮您？ What can I help you with?
好吧，我真的没有人可以求助 Well, I don't really have anybody to turn to
我基本上需要一些建议。 and I basically need some advice.
当然。 Of course.
所以看起来忏悔并没有真正起作用。 So it looks like prepentance doesn't really work.
我做了所有这些我知道是错误的事情 I did all of these things that I knew were wrong
现在我只是感觉比以往任何时候都更糟。 and now I just feel worse than I ever have.
我的妻子已经想离开我了 My wife already wants to leave me
我只是觉得自己是一个可怕的人。 and I just feel like a terrible person.
那我该怎么办？ So what do I do?
悔改。悔改？ Repentance. Repentance?
忏悔，去解决一切。 Repentance, go fix everything.
尽你所能去弥补。 Go make amends as best you can.
向所有你冒犯的人说声抱歉，尤其是你的妻子。 Say sorry to all those you offended, especially your wife.
所以这几乎就像是为了悔改而悔改。 So it's almost like repentance for prepentance.
让我们放弃忏悔这个词，好吗？ Let's just drop the prepentance term, okay?
很公平，谢谢父亲。 Fair enough, thanks Father.
星期天在教堂见吗？ See you at church on Sunday?
是的，是的，我会在那里。 Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.
[轻音乐] [gentle music]
大家好，这是我第一次 Hello everyone, this is my first time
可能是我最后一次上线。 and probably my last time going live.
好吧，问题是我真的要直播了 Well, the thing is I'm actually going live
但这条消息实际上只是 but this message is actually only
为了我的妻子和我的孩子。 for my wife and my kids so.
哇哦，嘿杰克。 Oh wow, hey Jake.
雪莉也向你竖起大拇指。 Thumbs up to you too Shelly.
好吧，我明白人们为什么这样做了。 Okay, I can see why people do this.
不管怎样，几个月前， Anyways, a couple months ago,
我决定做个混蛋。 I decided to be a jerk.
我感到被困 I was feeling trapped
感觉我没有自己的生活 and feeling like I didn't have my own life
或者我正在做任何只为我自己做的事情。 or that I was doing anything that was just for me.
我做了一些非常错误的事情。 I did some pretty wrong things.
草并不总是更绿。 The grass isn't always greener.
草实际上是甘美的绿色 The grass is actually luscious green
和我的家人 with my family
我暂时忽略了这一点。 and I temporarily lost sight of that.
珍，如果你正在看这个， Jen, if you're watching this,
我真的很抱歉。 I'm really sorry.
我希望你能原谅我 And I hope that you can forgive me
并且你可以给我机会尝试 and that you can give me the chance to try
并再次赢得您的爱戴和尊重。 and earn your love and respect again.
我保证我会成为一个更好的丈夫 I promise that I will be a better husband
和父亲比我在我的整个实验之前。 and father than I was before this whole experiment of mine.
我爱你。 I love you.
[键盘按键点击] [keyboard keys clicking]
所以你就是不喜欢？ So you just don't like it?
是的，不是我。 Yeah, it isn't me.
我真的不知道我们能做什么。 I don't really know what we can do.
我以前从未有人尝试过还车。 I've never had someone try to return a car before.
嗯，你也从来没有人买过车 Well, you've also never had someone buy a car
从你之前。 from you before.
你我之间有很多第一次。 A lot of firsts between you and me.
你想要另一辆车吗？ Would you want another car?
我想我会把我的旧车拿回来 I think I'll just take my old car back
如果你没问题的话。 if that's okay with you.
我的岳父会非常生气的。 My fatherinlaw's gonna be so flipping PO'd.
等等，如果我把你的旧车卖给你 Wait, if I sell you your old car back
这仍然算作销售，对吗？ that still counts as a sale, right?
嗯，看着你长大了。 Well, look at you growing all up.
好吧，那你为什么不把我的车卖给我 All right, so why don't you sell me my car
以我卖给你的同样价格， for the same price I sold it to you for,
然后我会归还这辆新车 and then I'll return this new car
价格略低。 for a slightly less price.
看起来公平吗？ Seem fair?
男孩，我会说。 Boy, I'll say.
好的，把它放在这里，伙计，是的！ All right, put it here buddy, yeah!
嘿，你的鞋子解开了。 Hey, your shoe's untied.
[欢快的音乐] [upbeat music]
♪穿过这些大厅♪ ♪ As a walk through these halls ♪
♪我看到了面孔♪ ♪ I see the faces ♪
哦，我想你了。 Oh, I've missed you.
♪我的回忆♪ ♪ Of my memories ♪
♪我听到笑声♪ ♪ I hear the laughter ♪
♪我感觉到眼泪♪ ♪ I feel the tears ♪
♪现在他们已成为我的一部分♪ ♪ Now they're so much a part of me ♪
♪阳光普照♪ ♪ Sun shines upon ♪
[猫喵喵叫] [刹车声] [cat meowing] [brakes screeching]
[哭泣] 哦蓬松！ [wailing] Oh Fluffy!
那只是一只好奇的小动物。 That is just one curious little critter.
哦，我不敢相信。 Oh, I can't believe.
是的，我不认为他会回来。 Yeah, I don't think he's coming back.
也许你可以做点小服务之类的？ Maybe you could you do like a little service or something?
我要走了。 I'm gonna go.
祝你们有美好的一天。 Have a good day guys.
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry about that.
嘿。嘿。 Hey. Hey.
我在想我们应该上周谈谈。 I was thinking that we should talk about last week.
是的，那可能不错。 Yeah, that might be good.
是的，所以我不应该那样做，吻你，我是说。 Yeah, so I shouldn't have done that, kissed you, I mean.
哦，是的，我的意思可能不是一个好主意 Oh yeah, I mean probably not a good idea
浸入公司墨水。 to dip in the company ink.
对对对也对。 Right, yeah, yeah that too.
你的意思是？ What do you mean?
什么？ What?
还有什么？太? What's the too? The too?
是的，我说现在对同事不好 Yeah, I said it's not good for coworkers to date
然后你说，“是的，那也是。” and you said, Yeah, that too.
我没有关注，对不起？ I'm not following, I'm sorry?
你的也是什么？ What's your too?
我们不应该勾搭的另一个原因是什么？ The other reason why we shouldn't hook up?
你知道，如果你要像个孩子一样抛弃我， You know, if you're gonna dump me like a child,
那么至少给我一个成年人的真相。 then at least give me the truth like an adult.
好吧，我没有像小孩子一样甩了你。 Okay, I didn't dump you like a child.
真的，我的意思是，请病假，躲了我三天。 Really I mean, called in sick, avoided me for three days.
每次去洗手间， And every time you went to the bathroom,
你会在后角走到外面 you'd go outside around the back corner just
以免经过我的办公桌。 to avoid passing my desk.
好的，所以现在你密切关注我的浴室习惯？ Okay, so now you're keeping tabs on my bathroom habits?
是的，我是一个小便跟踪者。 Yeah, I'm a pee stalker.
来吧，告诉我，好吗？ Come on, just tell me, okay?
很酷，我们会没事的。 It's cool, we're gonna be fine.
那只是一个吻。 It was just a kiss.
所以你记得和我一起进来的那个女人吗？ So you remember that woman I came in with?
是的。 Yeah.
所以她是我的妻子。 So she is my wife.
你结婚了？ You're married?
哇，你结婚了还不告诉我？ Wow, you're married and you didn't tell me?
是啊是啊。 Yeah, yeah.
你知道，这是一个非常混乱的情况 You know, that's a pretty messed up situation
把我放进去，对吗？ to put me in, right?
等等，什么？ Wait, what?
你让我成为奸夫。 You made me an adulterer.
不，不，不，不，你不是奸夫。 No, no, no, no, you're not an adulterer.
好吧，至少是通奸的帮凶。 Well, at least an accomplice to adultery.
你让我成为另一个女人亚当。 You made me the other woman Adam.
好吧，但这只是一个吻。 Okay, but it was just a kiss.
这甚至不是什么大不了的事。 It wasn't even a big deal.
是的，接吻没什么大不了的，但对已婚男人来说 Yeah, a kiss is no big deal, but with a married man
那完全不同。 that's totally different.
好吧，好吧，我真的很抱歉。 Okay, okay yeah, I am really sorry.
你告诉过你的妻子吗？ Have you told your wife?
不完全是。 Not exactly.
好吧，你是个彻头彻尾的狗屎。 Okay, you're a total piece of shit.
是的，是的，我知道并且我真的同意你的看法。 Yeah, yeah, I am aware and I actually agree with you.
我爸出轨了我妈 My dad cheated on my mom
然后离开我们和他的新女友在一起。 and then left us to be with his new girlfriend.
我对骗子不是很尊重。 I don't have a lot of respect for cheaters.
好吧，至少你爸爸还活着对吧[笑]？ Well, at least your dad is still alive right [chuckles]?
你知道吗，比如你爸爸死了的笑话？ You know, like the joke about your dad being dead?
说到死，我今天居然杀了一只猫。 Speaking of death, I actually killed a cat today.
选择你的时刻亚当，你被解雇了。 Choose your moments Adam, you're fired.
是的，我明白了。 Yeah, I got it.
哦，拍得不错。 Oh, nice shot.
[轻音乐] [gentle music]
嗨，老兄。这是怎么回事？ Hey man. What's up?
保安让你进去？ Security lets you in here?
是的，我溜进去了。 Yeah, I snuck in.
如果雷切特看到你，他会生气的。 Ratchett will be pissed if he sees you.
是的，我想他会过来的。 Yeah, I think he'll come around.
嘿，我想和你谈谈前几天的事。 Hey, I wanted to talk to you about the other day.
我什么都没有。 I got nothing.
好吧，好吧，看在我身上，好吗？ Okay yeah, all right look, it's on me, all right?
这一切都在我身上。 It's all on me.
我想道歉 I want to apologize
在你的特殊日子攻击你。 for attacking you on your special day.
伙计，你只是在我特殊的日子里用了兔子耳朵。 Dude, you just used bunny ears on my special day.
这不可能意味着你很抱歉。 That can't possibly mean you're sorry.
对不起，我意识到我不尊重你的决定。 I'm sorry, I realized I don't respect your decision.
哦，你把这个道歉从派对强盗身上敲出来了。 Oh, you're knocking this apology out of the party slugger.
对你有用的对我没用 What works for you just doesn't work for me,
但是，嘿，我会永远爱你。 but hey, I'll always love you.
谢谢，但这就是我想要的。 Thanks, but this is what I want.
是的，是的，这是你的道路，我不能加入你。 Yeah, yeah, this is your path and I can't join you on it.
这是你的事。 It's your thing.
这绝对不是我的。 It's definitely not mine.
我完全吻了Syd。 I totally kissed Syd.
住口！是的。 Shut up! Yeah.
我勒个去？ What the hell?
告诉我怎么回事儿。 Tell me about it.
我的意思是，没什么好说的。 I mean, there's nothing to say.
约会结束后我才去了她家 I just went to her place after the date
它就发生了。 and it kinda just happened.
它曾是怎样的？ How was it?
我的意思是，我想这很好。 I mean, it was pretty good I guess.
还要别的吗？ Anything else?
不，不，我告诉她我得走了。 No, no, I told her I had to go.
虽然有点突兀？ A little chug though?
天啊。是的？ Oh my gosh. Yes?
或许一点点。 Maybe a little.
那里的情况正在发生变化。 Things were changing down there.
但关键是，它非常快，而且是错误的。 But the point is, it was very quick and it was wrong.
我觉得很可怕。 And I felt terrible.
你疯了，伙计。 You're crazy, man.
你有黑眼圈吗？ You have a black eye?
你告诉珍妮弗了吗？ Did you tell Jennifer?
不，不，不，这是Syd。 No, no, no, this is Syd.
她不知道我结婚了，只是。 She didn't know I was married and just.
哦，真好笑。 Oh, that's hilarious.
所以这意味着你现在失业了？ So that means you're unemployed now?
不，实际上我找回了原来的工作。 No, actually I got my old job back.
拜托拜托…… Please, please, please, please, please, please, please
拜托拜托…… please, please, please, please, please, please, please
拜托拜托…… please, please, please, please, please.
等等，所以你要告诉珍吗？ Wait, so are you going to tell Jen?
嗯，是的，是的，我在照顾 Well yeah, yeah, I'm taking care
首先是我的其他错误。 of my other mistakes first.
我把大的留到最后。 And I'm saving the big one for last.
哥们加油 什么？ Dude come on. What?
不要追求， Don't woos out,
马上去告诉她。 go tell her right now.
马上？ Right now?
现在的人，现在。 Right now man, right now.
来吧，你自己说的， Come on, you said it yourself,
你比我好，对吧？ you're better than me, right?
是的。 Yeah.
去确保你拯救你的家人。 Go make sure you save your family.
好吧，好吧。去！ All right, okay. Go!
好的。去！ All right. Go!
是的，好的，谢谢，是的。 Yes all right, thank you, yes.
你接受我的道歉吗？ Do you accept my apology?
是的。嗯嗯。 Yeah. Hmm hmm.
我太爱你们了。 I love you both so much.
你要来参加我的下一场小提琴独奏会，对吧？ You're coming to my next violin recital, right?
我不会因为任何事情错过它。 I won't miss it for anything.
好的，嘿，伙计。 Okay, hey buddy.
我得去和你妈妈谈谈，好吧。 I gotta go talk to your mom, okay.
好的。你们可以留下 Okay. You guys can stay
在这里一分钟？ in here for a minute?
嗯嗯。嗯嗯。 Hmm hmm. Hmm hmm.
我得去道歉。 I gotta go apologize.
好的。好的。 Okay. Okay.
好吧，爱你们。 All right, love you guys.
我也爱你。 Love you too.
嘿。嘿。 Hey. Hey.
你的脸怎么了。 What happened to your face.
哦，千禧年主义。 Oh, millennialism.
我要跟你说话。 I need to talk to you.
是的，我知道。 Yeah, I know.
我看过你的直播 I saw your live.
和？ And?
真的很甜蜜。 It was really sweet.
但？ But?
但行动胜于雄辩。 But actions speak louder than words.
好吧，好奇害死猫，好吗？ Well, curiosity killed the cat, all right?
我是一只猫，我被杀了。不，我明白了。 I'm a cat, I got killed. No, I get it.
嘿，我找回了以前的工作。 Hey, I got my old job back.
你会幸福吗？ And are you gonna be happy?
我很高兴知道你和孩子们都很开心。 I'm happy knowing you and the kids are happy.
我知道，但我希望你快乐。 I know, but I want you to be happy.
我在，我在。 I am, I am.
我只是在放克。 I was just in a funk.
好，好，好，过来。 Okay, okay, okay, come here.
请坐下。 Sit down please.
听着，我会诚实的。 Listen, I'm gonna be honest.
不错，很喜欢 Okay, I liked a lot
我在上个月左右所做的更改。 of the changes I made over this last month or so.
做我想做的事真的很有趣。 It was really fun to do whatever I wanted.
但后来，我有了突破 But then, I had a breakthrough
我意识到这不值得。 and I realized that it's not worth it.
我意识到做我想做的事只会结束 I realized that doing what I wanted would just end
我一个人，我不想一个人。 with me being alone and I don't wanna be alone.
我不想没有你和孩子，我不想。 I don't wanna be without you and the kids, I don't.
我想让事情回到原来的样子，好吗？ I want things just to go back to the way they were, okay?
但是，这次我要完全诚实， But, this time I want complete honesty,
只是桌面上的所有东西都是 100%。 just everything out on the table 100%.
所以我有一些我需要的东西。 So I have something that I need to.
我有点欺骗你。 I sort of cheated on you.
好的，就是这样。 Okay, that's it.
这只是一个吻，没有别的。我结束了它。 It was just a kiss, nothing else. And I put an end to it.
彻底结束了，好吧。 It's completely over, okay.
再也不会了，亲爱的。 Never again, honey.
我很抱歉，我很抱歉。 I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
哇，我认为告诉我这件事是正确的。 Wow, I think it was the right thing to tell me.
我很抱歉，亲爱的。 I'm so sorry, honey.
我的意思是，我只能想象你现在的感受。 I mean, I can only imagine how you're feeling right now.
老实说，我觉得有点松了口气。 Honestly, I feel a little bit relieved.
我的意思是，事情是这样的 I mean, so the thing is,
这几年我一直在欺骗你 I've been cheating on you for the last few years
但这不仅仅是接吻。 but it was more than kissing.
我以为我们只是对彼此诚实。 I thought we were just being honest with each other.
你能说点什么吗？ Can you say something?
随便说点。 Just say something.
我们会好吗？ Are we gonna be okay?
你能说点什么吗？ Can you say something?
什么f[乐观的音乐] What the f [upbeat music]
♪小睡一会儿，我会收回的♪ ♪ Just take a nap I'll take it back ♪
♪我会收回所有♪ ♪ I'll take it all back ♪
♪当你睡着时♪ ♪ And when you're asleep ♪
♪我会赶上一个高峰，然后是一个小♪ ♪ I'll catch a peak and then a wee ♪
♪因为我准备好了♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm ready ♪
[欢快的音乐] [upbeat music]
♪嘿嘿♪ ♪ Hey hey ♪
♪又是一年的一天♪ ♪ Another day another year ♪
♪又来了♪ ♪ Coming round again ♪
♪很难知道如何活在当下♪ ♪ So hard knowing how to live for the present ♪
♪因为时间是不可靠的朋友♪ ♪ 'Cause time's an unreliable friend ♪
♪当世界不停转动时♪ ♪ While the world keeps turning ♪
♪嘿嘿♪ ♪ Hey hey ♪
♪另一个希望 另一个梦想♪ ♪ Another hope another dream ♪
♪盯着马路♪ ♪ Staring down the road ♪
♪渴望另一种生活很容易♪ ♪ It's easy wishing for another life ♪
♪面对未知的困难加倍♪ ♪ And twice as hard to face the unknown ♪
♪当世界不停转动时♪ ♪ While the world keeps turning ♪
♪心一直在寻找♪ ♪ And the heart keeps searching ♪
♪只有一件事是确定的♪ ♪ Only one thing's certain ♪
♪虽然我们一路迷路了♪ ♪ Though we get lost along the way ♪
♪我们会继续燃烧♪ ♪ We'll keep on burning ♪
♪嘿嘿♪ ♪ Hey hey ♪
♪又一角钱 另一个笼子♪ ♪ Another dime another cage ♪
♪好像有一段时间了♪ ♪ Seems like it's been a while ♪
♪因为我们年轻像火一样狂野♪ ♪ Since we were young and wild like fire ♪
♪因为我们确信我们已经过时了♪ ♪ 'Cause we're convinced that we've gone out of style ♪
♪呼吸又平静♪ ♪ Another breath another calm ♪
♪你从来都不是一个人♪ ♪ You're never on your own ♪
♪没人知道他们明天要做什么♪ ♪ Nobody knows what they're doing tomorrow ♪
♪所以我们都被迫坚持下去♪ ♪ So we're all forced to soldier on ♪
♪当世界不停转动时♪ ♪ While the world keeps turning ♪
♪心一直在寻找♪ ♪ And the heart keeps searching ♪
♪只有一件事是确定的♪ ♪ Only one thing's certain ♪
♪虽然我们一路迷路了♪ ♪ Though we get lost along the way ♪
♪世界一直在转动♪ ♪ The world keeps turning ♪
♪心一直在寻找♪ ♪ And the heart keeps searching ♪
♪只有一件事是确定的♪ ♪ Only one thing's certain ♪
♪虽然我们一路迷路了♪ ♪ Though we get lost along the way ♪
♪我们会继续燃烧♪ ♪ We'll keep on burning ♪
♪我会祈祷下雨♪ ♪ I will pray for rain ♪
♪当你头顶的云彩变成灰色时♪ ♪ When the clouds above your head have turned to gray ♪
♪我会祈祷下雨♪ ♪ I will pray for rain ♪
♪当你头顶的云彩变成灰色时♪ ♪ When the clouds above your head have turned to gray ♪
♪世界一直在转动♪ ♪ The world keeps turning ♪
♪心一直在寻找♪ ♪ And the heart keeps searching ♪
♪只有一件事是确定的♪ ♪ Only one thing's certain ♪
♪虽然我们一路迷路了♪ ♪ Though we get lost along the way ♪
♪世界一直在转动♪ ♪ The world keeps turning ♪
♪心一直在寻找♪ ♪ And the heart keeps searching ♪
♪只有一件事是确定的♪ ♪ Only one thing's certain ♪ 1845年
♪虽然我们一路迷路了♪ ♪ Though we get lost along the way ♪
♪我们会继续燃烧 我会祈祷下雨♪ ♪ We'll keep on burning I will pray for rain ♪
♪我们会继续燃烧♪ ♪ We'll keep on burning ♪ 1848年
♪我们会继续燃烧♪ ♪ We'll keep on burning ♪
我真的很抱歉，好吗？ I'm really sorry, okay?
但是我们再也见不到对方了。 But we can't see each other anymore.
我需要专注于我的婚姻。 I need to focus on my marriage.
但我真的很喜欢你。 But I really like you.
我知道 I know
就像以一种欲望的方式。 Like in a lust kind of way.
我以为是 I thought it was
我的意思是爱也许但是。 I mean love maybe but.
你说的少吗？ Did you say in a less kind of way?
就像在欲望中一样。 Like in a lust.
哦，欲望？是的。 Oh, lust? Yeah.
是的，我非常清楚这一点。 Yeah, I'm very aware of that.
我对你很着迷。 I'm very in lust with you.