Subtitles by explosiveskull Sync by GoldenBeard
[dog barking]
[footsteps]
Whew! I think that's everything.
Come here.
♪ Running my mouth off At the storm ♪
♪ Yelling, Man, what the hell Did you do that for? ♪
♪ And I was watching The old men fish ♪
♪ And they'd all Give their catch away ♪
♪ And I can hear A woman singing ♪
♪ And I could hear That piano play ♪
♪ It'd go like ♪
[piano plays]
♪ Tears will gather In my eyes ♪
♪ Hold my head ♪
♪ And babe you know I'll cry ♪
♪ And I can hear That drummer roll ♪
♪ As I listen To that choir cry ♪
♪ And I could hear A guitar weeping ♪
♪ I could feel Those pipers pipe ♪
♪ And all the beauty I couldn't see ♪
♪ But it just cut me At my knees ♪
♪ And I was watching The old men fish ♪
♪ And they'd all Give their catch away ♪
♪ And I could hear A woman singing ♪
♪ And I could feel That piano play ♪
♪ Tears will gather In my eyes ♪
♪ Ah, babe You know I'll cry ♪
♪ Like a baby ♪
♪ Oh, I held my head And cried ♪
♪ Come on, Dorothy ♪
♪ Oh, you know We could go all night ♪
[pump beeps]
[engine cranks]
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
[engine cranks]
Oh, come on.
[engine cranks]
[sighs]
Shit.
[engine cranks]
- [man] Fired? You're firing me! - [man 2] Get the fuck outta here.
Oh, fuck you, Manny! I quit! How 'bout that?
- [Manny] Give me my fuckin' shirt. - [man] You want your shirt back?
Great news. You can have your piece-of-shit shirt back.
Here ya go, dude. Choke on it.
Hey, where's my stuff? You guys have my stuff in there!
Oh, great, you too, Gary?
Fuckin' dick.
Hey, what do you need?
- Um, a mechanic. I'm looking for a mechanic. - Great.
You just found the best goddamned mechanic in town! Let's go.
I'm driving to LA and my car broke down.
- Those guys would've fuckin' ripped you off. - Really?
- Oh, okay. - Eat shit, Manny!
- Richard, by the way. - Oh. Nathan.
Everyone calls me Nat.
Hey, you mind if I, uh, take a couple of, uh, pictures of you?
- You wanna take a picture of me? - Yeah, yeah, of you.
You're uh... you're interesting, you know?
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
I mean, don't get me wrong, dude. I'm interesting as fuck.
- Yeah. - If you wanna take a picture of the real deal,
like, you came to the right place. Let's do this.
- Yeah? - Yeah. Fuck, yeah.
- Awesome. Great. - This is crazy.
- Okay. - Fuck, yeah.
- Nice. - Yeah, right?
- Okay. - Yeah.
This is America at its purest, dude.
Oh, nice. Okay.
[shutter clicks]
- Yeah. - [laughs]
- Cool, man. Let me see 'em. - Huh?
- Let me see 'em. - No, this is... It's a film camera.
- It's film. - Oh, yeah.
- Cool, man. Wow. - Developing and everything.
Yeah. That's old school, huh?
- Yeah, yeah. - Crazy.
What are you, an artist or something?
I'm gonna start art school. That's why I'm driving to LA.
- Fuck. - Yeah.
- Good for you. - Thank you.
- What's your philosophy? - My philosophy?
Yeah, like, your artist's philosophy.
What's your outlook on the world? What do you got to say?
Uh... I don't know.
I mean, listen, I'm not an artist.
I'm like a fuckin' piece of shit, you know. I'm a zero.
- But even I've got a philosophy. - Uh-huh.
Three things matter in life.
Friends, shelter, and a little bit of food in my belly.
Everything else, bro... is fuckin' bullshit, and I'm at war with bullshit.
- Everyone hates bullshit, right? - Yeah. Right?
If there's one thing I learned in my 35 years on this planet,
it's that this world is full of fuckin' bullshit.
Hey! Here we go. Get ready.
- Start it up. - Oh. Oh. You sure?
- Yep. Start it up. - Okay.
[sniffs]
- You ready? - Yeah.
[engine starts]
- Boom! - Oh, my God, yes!
[Nathan] Thank you.
How 'bout that?
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, don't worry about it. Just a loose hose. Nothing.
Yeah. Thank you. I never would've found it myself.
Listen, it's just, like, I don't know, maybe a hundred bucks?
Yeah, yeah. Of course, man. Uh...
- I'm fuckin' with you, man. - What? What the...?
I'm fuckin' with you. Don't worry about it.
Oh, my God, dude, that's so generous. Thank you.
- I wish there was something I could do for you. - Oh. There totally is.
I'm going about 45 minutes up the road, town called Alpine.
- Okay. - If you wouldn't mind just giving me a ride.
You can drop me on the side of the highway near the town. That'd be fine.
I just need to get there pretty quick.
Um... I don't... I don't know, man.
Yeah.
- I don't know you... - Enough said. I get it. You don't know me.
You know, I'm a stranger. You don't want me in your car.
But look. Look in my eyes, man. I have very kind eyes.
- Mm-hmm. - I'm a good guy.
- What d'ya say? - Um...
You know what? Yeah. Yeah, hop on in.
- Come on. - Fuck, yeah! Yes! You just made my day, man.
[Richard] You want a road brew?
No-no, I'm good. I, I don't, uh... not while I'm driving.
- But you're more than welcome to do it. - All right.
You know, keep it low, just in case there's any, uh, cops or anything.
Don't worry about it. I'm pretty much at professional level at drinking and driving.
[chuckles] Well, good thing you're not driving.
[chuckles] So what's your story, you party?
Yeah. I mean, I go to parties often.
[laughing]
- What? - Nah.
I don't mean, do you go to parties, like a sweet 16.
I mean, do you party, like, do you do drugs?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Cool. Fuck, yeah. - Yeah. Weed and drink.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Well, that's good news. - Yeah?
'Cause I happen to have a pretty rad jazz cigarette.
- Wow, that's awesome, man. - Yeah.
- You wanna piece of this? - No, I'm driving. I don't smoke...
- Mind if I smoke it? - No, not at all. Please, go for it.
So, where you headed, man?
- Vegas. - Vegas.
Yeah. Bright lights, beautiful women.
- Cool. - It's the perfect place to start over.
- That's awesome, man. - Yeah.
Yeah. I've never been to Vegas.
- You've never been to Vegas? - No, no, no, no, no. Never.
- Oh, dude, you gotta go to Vegas. - Yeah. I know.
I wanna go for my 21st birthday.
I know it's cliché and all that, but, you know?
- Dude, that's smart. - Right?
- All of the best stuff in Vegas, you gotta be 21. - Yeah.
The bars, the casinos, gambling, strip clubs.
Dude, all the best hookers are at strip clubs.
- Good to know. - Yeah.
- Uh, good to know. - Oh.
Thank you.
Maybe if I'm there, I'll look you up and we can hang out.
Yeah. Sure.
Tell you what.
I'm done with all this bullshit.
Nothing for miles, small-town nonsense.
Fuckin' assholes at work.
Shitty jobs.
Fuckin' terrible people.
Vegas, baby. [laughs] From that movie?
So, it's this building right here.
- Oh, awesome. - Yeah.
- Pull up right here on the right. - Great.
Thank you so much, Nat.
This is... You really did me such a solid.
- I appreciate it. - No problem.
- You take care of yourself. - You take care of yourself.
This baby's gonna get you to LA no problem now. Don't you worry.
Thanks to you, man.
Keep your dick dry out there. You know what I'm saying?
- Okay. - Wrap it up.
All right. I will.
[Richard] Fuck!
Hey, man, what's up?
The whole thing's closed.
I don't even think the fuckin' busses come here anymore.
- What the hell? - What?
Yeah. Fuck me.
Oh, shit, man. Well, uh, what're you gonna do?
I-I'll probably just stay here the night, and hitch in the morning.
It's, like, not a big deal.
You know what? Um, I'm staying in Marfa tonight.
If you wanna join... I don't know if they have a bus station,
but it's closer to Vegas.
- You wouldn't mind, for real? - Yeah, man.
It'd be nice to have some company.
Okay. Here's one.
What's your favorite movie of all time?
The Graduate. Done.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Never seen it. - Really?
I don't even know what it is. The Graduate?
- Dustin Hoffman. You know... - I'll check it out.
What about you? What's your favorite movie?
Uh, Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift.
- Really? - Oh, yeah. That movie is crazy.
It's about these guys and they race all these cars.
And they, like, they drift the cars.
I mean, they're... they're all right... those movies, to be honest.
- I mean... - Fast and Furious One and Two?
Fuckin' the best movies I've ever seen.
I mean, they, like, they lost their steam,
like, by the time they got to, like, six.
I think they're on, like, eight now.
Wait.
There's more of those fuckin' movies?
Yeah. There's, like, eight more.
Are you fucking... Oh, my God!
- Yeah, they added... - That's fuckin' amazing!
They got Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
- The Rock... - Yeah.
- ...from wrestling... - Yeah.
- ...is in The Fast and Furious? - Yeah, I mean, yeah.
Fuck. He's like my favorite wrestler...
It was sad when the guy died, the main guy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't tell me.
- Who... In the movie? - No, no, not in the movie.
- Vin Diesel? - Not Vin Diesel, the other guy,
- but in real life. - Brian?
- Yeah. - Brian died in real life?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. Wow.
They CGI'd his face 'cause he, like, only shot half of the movie,
and they did the rest with his brothers.
Very touching.
- Dude, you are fucking blowing my mind. - Yeah.
We need some tunes up in this bitch, right?
Yeah, oh, totally.
- Let's get it goin'. - My girlfriend...
Well, ex-girlfriend, gave me this iPod as a going-away gift.
- All right, let's see what we got. - Yeah, check it out.
Any Aerosmith on here?
Uh, I don't know. I haven't actually looked at it.
Well, I hope there is, because I'm in the mood for Aerosmith.
- Ooh. I have an update. - What?
Your ex has shit taste in music. This is garbage.
Yeah. No, I know.
There's, like, three Indigo Girls records on here.
- [laughs] - Is that why you dumped her?
- 'Cause I get it. - No.
No, no, no, no, no. She, uh, she dumped me.
Or, well, no, it was kind of mutual.
She made the decision. Um...
Ew. This is not sounding good.
No, no, no, no, seriously. It was the right decision.
So I'm-I'm totally fine with it.
Say no more. I get it.
I'm just excited to start this new phase, this new path.
Yeah. You should be.
You're going to fuckin' art school, dude.
'Cause you know what art school is full of?
Hot girls, who, like, have those weird, chunky, black glasses
- and, like, black bangs and all this shit. - Yeah, it's...
All they're into is, like, doing threesomes and being lesbians for a minute.
- Wow. - Like, you're gonna get crazy-laid.
You eat pussy, dude?
- [laughs] Yeah. - Okay, good.
If there's one thing you walk away from this conversation with is, you've gotta eat that pussy.
You know, it's like, my-my last girlfriend, she didn't really like getting eaten out...
Okay. Time out. Time out.
Time out. I'm gonna stop you right there.
She likes getting eaten out. You're just bad at it.
Well, here's the thing, okay?
The honest truth, you want the honest truth right here?
She's the only person I've ever been with.
Oh, dude, that's not embarrassing.
You're fuckin'... What are you, 19 years old you said?
- Yeah. - Yeah. That's fine.
Fuck, I wish I had that.
I fucked a bunch of dummies before I fucked the one true love of my life.
Shit, man.
This is embarrassing. Fu... Fuck. I can't even believe I'm about to tell you this.
No, come on, tell me.
I'm still, like, hung up on this girl from when I was 15 years old.
- I'm talkin' like 25 years ago, man. - Wow.
My high school sweetheart... Sharon was her name...
Ooh. She had, like, this beautiful angelic face.
- We just got each other. You know what I mean? - Yeah.
I feel like in an alternative universe,
- we'd be married and have kids and be real happy, you know? - Yeah.
It's, like, there was this fork in the road,
and on one side was this beautiful paradise with Sharon,
and on the other fuckin' side, is just, like, 25 years of fuckin' shit.
And I don't know why, but I fuckin' chose the 25 years of shit.
And sometimes I'm laying in bed, trying to fall asleep,
and I just think about that universe with her,
where it's just us and we're happy.
And I don't know what the fuck happened, man. You know?
Wow.
Dude, is this the hotel?
Yeah. I rented out one of those trailers.
Oh, no. I spent my whole life trying to get out of a fuckin' trailer park.
Now you're gonna make me sleep in one again?
What is this, some kinda fake poverty bullshit your generation's into?
I know it's corny and all, but, you know, it's just fun.
Hey, I gotta check in. Do you wanna come in with me, or do you wanna wait out here?
Uh, no thanks. I saw a bar couple blocks back.
- Why don't you meet me there in 30. - Uh, okay.
♪ So sometimes I'm all right ♪
♪ And sometimes I get you off my mind ♪
♪ But other times All I do is cry ♪
- Richard. - Hey.
- Hey, how's it goin', man? - Good. What, did you get lost?
Oh, no. That ex I was telling you about, she called.
- Dude, you gotta cut her loose. - I know.
- You're over 21, right? - Mm-hmm.
What'll you have?
- We'll, uh, we'll get two whiskeys. - Yep.
- Holy shit, I didn't get carded. - Yeah, okay, be cool.
- Thank you so much. - Yeah, thank you.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- Oh! - [clears throat]
- We'll do two more of these. Make 'em doubles. - Yeah.
Thank you.
- Mmm. - Fuck.
- What? - I'm sorry, dude.
- I just did a real fuckin' dick thing. - No, what did you do?
I ordered a bunch of drinks, and I've only got ten bucks in my pocket.
Oh, come on, don't worry about it, man. I got the drinks.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
You've already been so fuckin' nice to me.
Giving me a ride, and all this other stuff.
It's all good. Don't worry about it.
- No, no, no. - What?
Don't flash that kind of money in a place like this.
- What'd you do, fuckin' rob a bank? - No.
Jesus Christ.
- Are you fuckin' rich? - No.
Oh, thank you.
Your parents are rich.
- Well, I mean, they're like upper-middle class-ish. - Right?
I fuckin' nail... I nailed it, man. I got your number.
So, I've had, like, a pretty sheltered life.
Everything's planned out for me.
You do well on your SAT's. Graduate high school.
You go to college. You get a job.
You get married. Blah, blah, blah.
And that's fine for some people, but that type of life doesn't interest me at all.
Yeah, I get it.
No one had a plan for me.
Nobody fuckin' expected anything out of my life.
Yeah. And-And see? That's-That's my point.
You're one of the realest people I think I've ever met in my entire life.
And I-I guess that's what I'm trying to do with my photography.
I'm trying to get to... to the-the heart of real America, you know?
And I feel like being in here in this place
with you right now, with all these people around, that this is real America.
Nat, I have an update.
I think this might be the asshole of real America.
You're a good kid, Nat. I like you.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
I think the universe brought us together for a reason, you know?
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I will fuckin' rip the condom off of your mind, dude,
so you can fuck this world raw.
I wanna see you fuckin' raw-dog this world, man.
That's what you're doing.
[both laughing]
Fuck the world raw.
[man] Did you guys just fuckin' see that?
- Fuckin' kid just took our photo. - That's funny.
Hey. You just take my fuckin' photo?
What the fuck are you thinkin'?
I-I'm sorry, yeah.
What the fuck are you doin'? Erase that.
Got any fuckin' manners?
This is a film camera. I can't erase it.
- Give me the fuckin camera. - No, stop!
Hey, leave the kid alone, okay? He didn't mean anything by it.
What the fuck are you gonna do about it, huh?
Okay. Just go back to your game and play pool with your bros.
Uncle Joe, Ryan, come here.
You wanna meet my boys?
Hey, Richard. Come on. Let's go. Let's just leave.
Oh, no, no. Hang on, Nat.
I'm about to meet Uncle Joe and Ryan.
You are.
[Nat] Richard.
Richard, come on, let's go. Please. I'm so sorry.
Richard, please? I'm so sorry.
Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna go.
- What do you mean you're gonna fuckin' go? - [Nat] I'm sorry.
Thank you, ma'am.
- Sorry for the disturbance. - Fuckin' pussy.
- Ooh. One sec. - Li'l fuckin' baby.
[Nat] What?
- [Nat] Oh, my God! - [Richard] Run!
Go, go, run!
I think we lost 'em.
[laughing]
Oh, my God.
Did you see that guy's face when I hit him?
Oh, fuck, man.
- That... That was... That was cra... - Did you get your camera?
Yeah, I got it. I got my camera.
That was crazy though.
That was not crazy. That was just a bar fight.
Come on. You've never been in a fight before?
How are you so calm right now?
How are you not?
You know what? Drink the rest of this, okay?
- You need to relax, buddy. - Yeah. [laughs]
I'll be back here, taking a piss!
Hey, don't come back here unless you wanna see my dick.
I don't wanna see your... Ha ha! I'm so drunk right now.
Hey, you think those guys are gonna find us?
- [urinating] - The guys from the bar?
Fuck, no. And by the way, if they do, guess what.
We'll just kick their fuckin' asses.
- Yeah? That's right. - Boom!
- You fuckin' hit him so fuckin' hard. - Yeah.
Whoo.
I'm pretty fuckin' hydrated today.
Hey, man, you ever thought of getting in touch with that girl
- that you're still in love with? - Who, Sharon?
- Uh, Sharon. - Fuck, no. Why would I do that?
Well, because you're still in love with her.
You haven't tried to contact her once? That's crazy.
I've looked her up. But we had a pretty bad falling out, so what's the point?
You know where she lives though, you looked her up.
- Yeah, I looked her up. - You looked her up.
- Fine. Yes, I looked her up. - So you know where she lives.
Where does she live?
- [sighs] - Where does she live?
227 Lojitas Lane. Las Cruces, New fuckin' Mexico.
Okay? You happy now?
That's right off the I-10.
- We should go visit her. - No.
Yes. Yes! It's on the way to Vegas!
No matter what, you're gonna drive by there, so why not say hi?
Why? Because I was a piece of shit back then, okay?
And, yes, I'm still a piece of shit, but a very different piece of shit,
one I would rather she didn't see.
- Just hit this and stop bothering me, okay? - Okay. Here.
You're bumming me out.
- [coughs] - [groans]
I don't know, man.
[coughing]
- You think I'm ugly? - What?
- I'm ugly. - No!
- I'm ugly now. - No, no, no.
When she knew me, I looked like a good-lookin' kid, you know?
I look in the mirror now and there's a old, ugly-ass man staring back at me.
I'm balding, my hair is going gray.
I'm shocked I get laid as much as I do, which is, by the way, quite a bit.
I don't think women like me for my face.
- I think they just like the danger. - [coughs]
- Oh, that's real sensitive... - Can't breathe!
You know what? You're a fuckin' dick.
[coughing]
You know what? Fine. Fine!
Fine, We'll go, we'll see Sharon,
then we'll see who has the last laugh.
[laughing] So funny.
All right, done. We're done here.
Time for bed. Shut up.
[Richard whistling]
Wow.
Oh, that's beautiful.
- Oh, fuck. Birds? - What?
- What's wrong with birds? - Oh. Nothing.
No, no, Richard. What's wrong with birds?
Let's just go. Come on.
No, no, no. Richard. Tell me. Come on, dude.
Birds like that usually means a storm's coming.
It's an old Hopi legend. Let's just go.
Storms. Storm? I don't see any storm.
Yeah, well it doesn't have to be a literal storm.
It can be a metaphorical storm or some shit.
Let's just get on the road.
Goddamn it. Come on!
[Nathan] All right.
- [engine starts] - It's really cool
that you know all about the Hopi legend and stuff like that.
Yeah, you're not doing your duty as a goddamn citizen of the United States
if you don't know all the old Indian legends.
Hopi, Apache, Sioux, Iroquois, Choctaw, Cherokee.
I mean, come on, these are the people whose land we stole, whose women we raped.
Not my ancestors. [laughs] I'm one-eighth Jewish.
Besides, I don't think you're supposed to call 'em "Indians" anymore.
I think the proper term is "Native American."
Your generation is 100 percent pussies.
- Think we're here. - Fuck.
All right, let's slow down with those, all right?
- Oh. - How many...
Oh, dude, I'm fuckin' nervous, okay?
I'm in a real vulnerable state right now. I need your support.
[sighs]
- How do I look? - You look great.
You look fantastic. You got your good shirt on.
You... You're doing great.
- You mean that? You're not just saying it? - No, I'm not just saying it.
You look good.
Fuck. Did you just see that? She just walked past that window.
- Did you see that? - Yes. Yes, I did.
And what are you waiting for? Come on.
Come on, big guy.
- Okay. - You got it.
Here we go.
Whoo. Wish me luck.
- All the luck. - Okay.
Oh, boy.
Oh, God.
- I can't do it. Let's just go. - What?
What are you talking about?
Let's get out of here!
- No. You gotta do it. - Come on, man.
I don't wanna be here anymore.
This is... What're you doing? What're you doing?
- Oh! - Richard, you're making me do this.
Do not go in... Do not touch that door.
- Fuck! - For your own good.
Dude.
No, I...
- Who are you? - I'm Ashly.
- Do you know Sharon? - Yeah. She's my mom.
Oh.
Is she here?
No, actually, she's, um, she's dead.
- Fuck. - Oh, shit.
Yeah, she died last year.
Fuck. How?
- She killed herself. - What?
Slit her wrists in the bathroom and I was the one who found her.
- Jesus Christ. - Oh, fuck.
I'm so sorry.
[woman] Hey, who's at the door?
Oh, hi, Mom.
- Hi. - Sharon?
Wait. You're not dead.
Dead? Oh, what the fuck? Ashly.
- Whatever. - Can I help you?
It's Richard.
- I'm sorry. I think... - Wait!
I think you have the wrong person.
No, no, no!
It's Richard, from high school.
Richard. Oh. Wow. [laughs]
- In the flesh. - It's you.
- It is. - And who's this?
This is my friend, Nat.
- Uh... - That's Sharon.
Nathan, but I go by Nat.
- Yeah. - Nathan, hi. Hello. Come in.
Uh, you sure we're not bothering you or anything?
No. Come on in. Please.
- Hi. - Hello.
- This is a surprise. - Very nice to meet you.
Wow. Is everything okay?
[Richard] Yeah. Oh, yeah.
No, we were just, you know, driving through town,
and, you know, Facebook sent me a message that you lived near here,
so I figured I'd stop by and see if you wanted to catch up.
- Facebook doesn't do that. - Ashly, go do something.
Well, I'll be in my room, if you care or whatever.
I'm sorry my daughter's such a fucking brat.
- Oh, that's okay. - You know what?
I was actually about to open up a bottle of wine, if you want some.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- That sounds great. - You want some too?
Uh, ye... No, no. I'm fine, thank you.
So, wait. He's not your son?
Him? No.
- Richard, hey, I'm gonna just be in the car. - Yeah, I don't care, Nat.
[Ashly] Yo!
Come here.
Shut the door.
[pop music playing, faint]
- Uh, ca... Should I? - Yeah, totally.
Just throw all that shit on the ground.
Okay.
You smoke?
Uh, no. No, I'm fine.
- What do you think they're talking about? - Huh?
What do you think they're talking about?
Uh...
- Who's this? - That's my husband.
Oh.
- [low voice] Seems like a real asshole. - What?
Uh, he's a lucky guy, huh? Have all this.
- That's great. - Yeah.
What's goin' on over there?
That is, I am studying for my real estate license.
[coughs] Really?
Yeah, really. Why?
Come on. That doesn't add up.
[laughs] Not the Sharon I knew.
Sharon with purple hair, whose favorite phrase was "fuck off."
Who gave me a hand job under the bleachers at the homecoming game.
Oh, my God. I cannot believe.
- I haven't thought of that in so long. - But you remember, right?
Isn't it so funny when you look back at the past,
and you're, like, "Oh, my God, I thought that was intimacy."
You just, like, stabbing me with two fingers over and over again.
You were always like, "Cut your fingernails," all that shit.
I was like, "This hurts!" That was...
- The greatest. - ...weird.
So, you from around here?
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm from Texas.
But I'm moving to LA.
I cannot wait to get the fuck out of here the second I turn 18.
Yeah, really? Where you gonna go?
Anywhere. Just not here.
I'm so sick of my dumb friends
and my dumb parents and my dumb teachers
and my dumb job down at The Cone Zone.
Maybe I'll go to LA too.
I'll be an actress or on a reality TV show or something like that.
Hey, can you stay, like, right there?
Um...
- Oh, yeah, totally. - Yeah?
Everyone always tells me I should model.
Oh, okay. Great.
- How old are you, again? - Fifteen.
Well, I will be in two months.
Mm-hmm.
- Thanks. - I'm on Instagram.
Ashly Richards 42069. Tag me.
[slurps] Can I get some more of that?
- Richard. - Oh, man!
Why are you here?
Oh.
Of course. Why am I here?
Uh...
[sighs] I just...
- I feel like I never... - You don't have to...
...said it then, and it's what you always wanted to hear, but...
- No. You did say it. - I love you, Sharon.
I've always loved you.
You know, you're the... [sighs]
You're the love of my life, you know?
- Richard... - And...
Oh.
When I see you here now,
I realize this is the life I was supposed to have.
- You know, don't you ever feel like that? - Richard.
That, like, in another world, you and me would be living in this house,
and we'd have kids, and we'd have a happy life.
Richard, I think you should go.
Wait. Because I said I loved you?
No. I... That... Uh, sorry.
That... I'm-I'm try... I'm trying to explain myself.
- Wait-wait, no. I don't... I don't wa... - I want you to take this...
- What's that? - ...and just go.
What the fuck is that?
- This... I'm just trying to help you. - What the fuck?
- Dude, I don't want your fucking money. - Richard. Okay. Calm down.
That's not why I'm here! I'm trying to tell you I'm fucking in love with you.
- I don't want your fuckin' money! - Okay, Richard,
I want you to... No, no, no! Richard.
No, please don't... Don't touch me, okay?
No. No, I'm not touching you.
- If you kiss me, you'll remember. - What?
You'll remember what we had!
When we were laughing!
Please get out of my house, Richard!
Seriously, you're scaring me. Okay?
[Richard and Sharon continue arguing]
- Out of my house. - Don't worry, I'm leaving.
- Nat, let's go. - What?
You're a fuckin' bullshit person, living a bullshit life.
Your shitty little house and your bullshit husband,
- and your fuckin' mean tricks-playing daughter. - Okay.
You know what?
When you're tired of your fucking plastic life,
just remember out there, there's a man who fucking loves you,
who'll always love you.
I-I'm so sorry.
Don't tell your father.
[laughing] Oh, my God.
[Richard] Fuck... me.
I need a fucking drink.
Why is there no fucking booze in this car?
Okay, just calm down, and then tell me what happened, okay?
- What happened in there? - What happened was it didn't work, Nat!
It didn't fuckin' work!
Your big idea, it didn't fuckin' work!
I never would've come here if it wasn't for you.
Look, I-I feel awful.
Just tell me what I can do, okay?
- You wanna make it up to me? - Yes, I wanna make it up to you.
You can get me a hamburger, and a 12-pack of beer.
- Okay. Sure. - Make it a case.
[Nathan] I haven't eaten fast food in, like, ten years.
My school made me watch this animal cruelty video and, oh, I think it...
- Hello? - No, hey.
Don't fuckin' yell at them.
I'm not even yell... I just said, "Hello."
When they're ready, they'll say what's up. Don't yell at them.
- I literally just... - [man] Thank you for choosing Bob's Burgers.
Would you like to try our famous taco burger?
Yes, we would. Thank you.
Uh, let's see.
Two taco burger combos, one Frito pie,
and then, uh, six-piece chicken nuggets.
- One four-piece chicken nuggets... - No-no, six... six-piece chicken nuggets.
Hey, hey, hey. Be nice.
Six-piece, please.
Okay, your total's gonna be $15.27.
- Please drive to the second window. - No, stop! Stop! Thank you!
- What the fuck, dude! - What?
He wasn't fuckin' done. You don't fuckin' just take off. You say fuckin' "Thank you."
I'm gonna say thank you right now. The second window.
No, you don't know it's the same guy!
You've never worked at one of these places before, Nat, I'm sorry. I have.
Sometimes it's one guy taking the order, and another guy gives you the food.
You say fuckin' thank you. You have fuckin' manners.
- I'm sorry this isn't your dad's country club, okay? - Oh, my God.
But when a guy takes your order and fuckin' does your food,
you say fuckin' thank you, you say fuckin' please,
because all day long they're getting shit from fuckin' assholes like you.
- Goddamn it. - Okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to be an asshole!
- Hi. - Hi.
- $15.27. - Yep.
Feel like I have to fuckin' apologize for your behavior.
Okay. Fuck.
- They're fuckin' human beings back there, man. - [groans]
Fuckin' human beings making the food
that you're gonna shove into your stupid fuckin' mouth.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Catch.
Whoa, you blew it.
Mm! You should come to Vegas with me.
- Right? - Um, sure.
We're fuckin' driving there already.
Like, fuck art school, man.
We can have drinks with show girls.
We can go to the casinos.
It'd be so fuckin' fun. We'd have the best time.
I... I bet we would.
Just two fuckin' hustlers taking over the-the city and desert.
I'm not a hustler.
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
- You're an artist, right? - Yeah.
Yeah. What's a fuckin' artist but a hustler, dude?
Get used to it, 'cause that's what you're gonna be doing for the rest of your life.
- Okay. - Plus, you know what?
Anybody who wants a piece, guess what they're gonna get? Boom.
Dude, what the fuck?
I'm gonna protect you. Okay?
- You're gonna hurt yourself. - I'm not gonna hurt myself.
- Put the knife away! - If anybody fucks with you...
- Okay. Yep. - I'm gonna fuckin'... I'll fuckin' slit their throat.
- Put the knife away! - Slit their fu... Okay!
[knife drops]
- Jesus. - Jesus Christ.
Such a fuckin' baby about the knife.
I'm just showing you that I'm like, like a big brother, I'm gonna...
'Cause you're like... I can tell. You're like...
scared.
I'm gonna sleep for, like, ten minutes.
And then I'll drive and then you can sleep.
- Okay. - Okay?
Okay.
You're doing a good job.
- You're a good kid. - Thank you.
You're a good kid, Nat. You're a good kid.
Just my little brother, who I'm teaching everything to.
Shit.
[knocking]
Come on. Okay, come on.
It's time to go.
What's going on? What time is it?
It's late, uh... It's early morning.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Why aren't we driving? - Because I need to sleep.
- Fuck it. Come on. - Okay.
- I'll drive. I can drive. - Nope. Let's, uh,
let's put you to bed, bud.
This way.
[snoring]
[continues snoring]
[snoring]
[engine cranks]
[groans]
[engine cranks]
Fuck.
What's the matter, won't start?
Uh, no.
- Fuck. - Yeah.
I'll take a look at it after we eat our free breakfast.
Right? They got a waffle bar, you know.
Come on, let's go.
I'm fuckin' starving.
Whoo!
[grunts]
- You know you left this on the table upstairs? - Oh.
You don't have to tip maids at motels.
They're not actually cleaning anything.
All they do is make the bed again.
Shit, man, I'm sorry I couldn't fix it this time.
But, good news is,
the universe just handed us a day off in a pretty cool city.
So, let's enjoy it, right?
Get a picture of me with this barbed wire.
- Uh... - It's fuckin' tough as shit, right?
[growls]
Yeah, sure.
[sighs]
[shutter clicks]
Oh. Oh, boy. Here we go.
[laughs] Classic.
- I know what'll fuckin' cheer you up, bro. - What?
Fuck Vegas. I'm not goin'.
Why?
Because I'm gonna go to LA with you.
- Right? - Yeah. That's great.
- I can't believe it didn't occur to me before. - It's fuckin'...
[cell phone rings]
Hello?
Yeah, hi, this is Nat. [clears throat]
Okay.
Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
Bye.
Fuck.
It'll cost more to fix the car than it's worth.
Yeah. I'm not surprised.
I'm so fucked. Classes start in, like, three days.
You know what? I'm just gonna...
I'm gonna go back to the hotel and call my parents, okay?
Seriously?
Things get a little hard and you fuckin' bail and go call Mommy and Daddy?
- What would you do? - What would I do?
I'd go to the fuckin' bar, have a couple drinks, fuckin' chill out,
and then tomorrow, I swear to God, I will put you on a bus to LA myself.
- Yeah, but what about all my stuff in my van? - Fuck that stuff.
- You don't need it. - I need some of it.
Great. Take that and leave the rest. Who cares? Come on.
Come on, what're you doing? Come on. Let's go.
- [sighs] - You got this. You got this.
To LA, man, where everything's gonna go fuckin' great for us.
If we ever make it there.
Oh, we're gonna make it. Don't you worry.
You need to be more Zen about how things happen.
You know, you get real down and...
Can I have a tequila soda, please?
Can I have a beer, please?
- Hey. - What?
Check out these girls over here.
- [unzips wallet] - [Richard] That girl just smiled at me.
What about Sharon?
Sharon? Come on, man. That was yesterday.
I'm moving forward with my life.
I'm trying to do something new now.
[Richard] Where they goin'?
- Let's go talk to them. - No.
- Come on, come on, come on. - No, no. I'm good.
I'm gonna just stay right here.
I don't feel like talking to anyone right now.
What's the matter with you, dude? Come on.
- No, I'm sorry. I just... - There are cute girls here and they smiled at us.
- I'm sorry. - That's a signal.
- Mm. - You know what? Fine, forget it.
You sit here and mope while I go talk to those girls.
I'm just saying... [sips]
It'd be a lot more fun if you were there.
Hey.
Nice.
- This is so stupid. - I know, right?
- Let's do it. - [sighs]
Ladies.
- How ya doin'? - Hey.
I'm Richard. This is Nat.
- I'm Nina. - Hey.
- Rebecca.
You mind if we join you
and maybe get you a drink or something?
- Absolutely. - Oh.
- Fuck, yeah. - Great.
Nat, why don't you go, uh, why don't you get us those drinks.
I'll come with you.
[Nathan] Oh? Yeah.
Okay.
[sighs]
- Hi. - Four shots of whiskey.
Thanks.
- Is that okay with you? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Mmm.
- You guys live around here? - No.
We're just traveling through.
- Oh. - Yeah.
- What about you guys? - [sighs]
Just doing a little road trip with my sister.
Nice. Where you guys headed?
You can keep the change.
- We're driving back to LA. - Really?
No way. That's where I'm headed.
Uh, starting college, art school.
Shut the fuck up. I'm finishing art school.
- Really? - Going into my last semester.
- Dude, that's hilarious. - That's cool.
I know, right? Uh...
- Yeah. I go to Cal Arts. - What kind of art do you do?
I can't believe you guys are staying in the same motel as us.
- I know. Isn't that crazy? - That's insane.
- [Rebecca] You are? - Yeah.
- Guys, this is like fate or some... - Fate.
- Whoa. - What the fuck?
This is weird. This is now officially...
- We... Guys, a toast. - Oh, my God.
All right? A toast to fate and new friends.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Arrrr! Ooh!
- [Richard] Whoo. - [Nina] Ooh-wee!
- [Richard chuckles] - Oh, uh, so to answer your question.
Yeah.
Um, I take a cross-disciplinary approach.
So like, the work exists between paintings and performance.
- Oh. - I don't know.
I don't want it to be any one thing, you know?
Becs, no one understands what the fuck you're talking about.
- [Richard chuckles] - What she does is she makes paintings based on her dreams.
- That's her thing. - Whoa.
- Oh. Okay. - I mean, no, it's not that simple.
It's an easier way of saying it.
No, it's not.
Whatever.
Okay, she's mad at me because she takes everything very seriously.
[chuckles] He's the exact same.
He gets all uptight about stuff all the time.
This might be weird, or like some junior high shit or something,
but this is a great song.
- May I have this dance? - Yeah.
Fuckin' right on.
I promise I'll bring her back in one piece. Maybe.
Hey!
Uh-oh.
I like you. You're feisty.
- I'm gonna go get us another round. Okay? - Yeah. Okay.
Uh, sure. Do you...
Do you need...
[rock ballad playing on speakers]
- Oh... - Okay, here we go.
Sorry. I should've helped you.
Oh. No, it's okay. I still have a tab open.
You wanna take one?
Sure, yeah.
- To art. - To art.
[exhales]
[Richard, Nina laughing]
[clears throat]
I have no idea why I agreed to let her drive with me.
I'm going crazy.
I feel the same way.
It's the grind of the road, you know? Takes its toll.
Yep.
[rock playing on speakers]
- [man] ♪ Somebody, please ♪ - Oh, my God. I love this song.
Do you wanna dance to it, the song, uh, with me?
Yeah.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Milady.
♪ It makes you want to cry ♪
♪ Oh, honey Sometimes you don't know If you want to leave ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Or you wanna die ♪
♪ Oh, oh, I want your love ♪
♪ Babe, I long your love ♪
♪ Oh, baby Who knows the reason why ♪
- [laughing] - Ow!
♪ Oh, I just got to know ♪
Hey, Nat, Richard told me about your car.
You guys should just come with us.
[Richard] They're not listening to you.
♪ Somebody, somebody ♪
♪ Why don't somebody Tell me, honey? ♪
♪ Got to Got to know ♪
♪ Honey, I'm down on my knees Begging ♪
♪ Please, woman ♪
♪ Honey, I love you With all my heart, honey ♪
♪ I don't care How big you get now, woman ♪
[fades]
You are going to have so much fun in college.
I really hope so.
You will.
I know it's hard to imagine,
but especially since you're going to art school too.
It's... It's an entire school filled with weirdos, like us.
Hey, can I... Can I take your picture?
- Right now? - Come on.
Come on, just stand right there. It'll be fine.
Uh, but I hate having my picture taken.
- Oh, why? You're beautiful. - Oh!
- You're gorgeous. You... You... - You're...
You are the prettiest girl I've ever met.
- Okay, fine. - Yeah?
Okay.
[shutter clicks]
Amazing.
[sighs] That was such hard work.
Ooh.
All right.
Into my room, we go.
[beeps]
Into my room...
Whoa!
Come on! In or out, guy?
Wow!
[laughing, groaning]
- Ew! Oh, my God. - Oh, my gosh!
- That's incredible! - I guess we should go to my room.
That's... Oh, my God.
Can I kiss you?
Yeah.
- [knocking] - [faint] Hey, Nat, get out here.
Wait. Do you hear that?
N-No.
[faint knocking]
No, I... I think there's someone there.
Okay.
- What do you want, Richard? - Hey, come here. It's an emergency.
- What? - Hey.
Don't be a dummy, okay? Wrap it up.
- Thanks, Richard. - Hey.
- I'm proud of you, kid. - Okay.
Okay.
What did he want?
Uh, who knows?
- Hey. - I'm so tired.
I'm gonna shut the light off.
- Wait, come here. - Yeah.
Boop. [giggles]
- Good night. - Good night.
[chattering]
- [Rebecca] Hey. - Hey.
Took you long enough.
- Well, well, well. - Hi.
[Richard] Look who decided to join the living.
- Hey. How ya feelin'? - Hi. I'm all right. You?
- You were talking so much in your sleep last night. - I was?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. I just remembered.
I had the fucking craziest dream last night.
Yeah. Uh, I'll tell ya in a second.
Right now, Nat, would you please join me at the waffle bar?
Great, thanks.
- Uh, oh. - Hey!
Watch it, you.
- Don't start something you're not gonna finish. - Ha ha.
- So, yeah. - So, how'd it go?
Did you use that condom I gave you, or what?
- No. - No?
- No, I didn't. - Too bad.
I didn't use anything.
[clears throat]
We made out, a little.
- Yes. - I know.
- That's awesome, dude. - Oh, my God.
- It was so nice. - Nice work.
So, listen. I, uh...
[exhales] I'm gonna need your help with something right now, man.
Yeah? What do you need?
Well, I'm about to ask Nina to marry me, right here, right now.
Oh, wait. You're... You're serious.
Fuckin'-A right on, I am, dude.
I'm in love with this girl.
I have been since the second she walked into that bar.
Okay. Plus, check it out.
- I got her this sweet ring at the gas station this morning. - No, no.
- She's gonna love it. - Buddy, I think you're being a little impulsive.
- It's happening. - No, no. You do it at a later time.
Ladies.
[both giggling]
If I could interrupt your adorable giggling for a second,
I have an announcement.
Nina.
I know that we haven't known each other that long,
and this might seem like it's coming outta the blue, but...
- [giggling] What're you doing? - Richard, hey...
- [Nina] Shh. Nat, hang on. - Buddy, nope.
- [Nina] Hold on. Shh! - Not right now. I'm in the middle of something.
You know the phrase, "Sometimes when you know you just know"?
Well, I know.
I love you. And I can tell you love me.
[laughs]
So will you do me the honor of marrying me?
Oh. Oh, my God, you got me the special ring.
It's so cute. Did you get this at the gas station?
- [laughing] - Don't laugh.
- Get up! Come on. Don't be silly. - No.
I'm serious.
This is real. I...
Come on, get up.
Yeah. No, you know what?
You don't have to decide now.
I'll-I'll just hold onto this until you decide.
[coughs]
Wait. What about, uh... what about your dream?
Oh, yeah, your dream.
Oh.
Yeah. Right.
[chuckles] Okay.
- It's pretty fuckin' crazy. - [Nina chuckles]
So, in the dream, I'm on tour with The Rolling fuckin' Stones.
- Oh, I love The Rolling Stones. - [scoffs] Of course you do.
Anyway, so, I'm hitchhiking on the highway, no cars,
and then all of a sudden, huge black tour bus pulls up, right?
Door opens, so fuck it. I get in.
And I come face-to-face with the guys.
Keith fuckin' pulls out a guitar,
hands it to me, 'cause he wants to jam.
Which is crazy, because I know how to play every single Rolling Stones song,
even though A, I don't play guitar,
and B, I probably haven't listened to The Stones in like, 15 years.
Why, you don't like them or something?
Are you kidding? I fuckin' love The Rolling Stones.
They're the fuckin' best rock band in history.
And before you say anything about The fuckin' Beatles,
you can shut your goddamn mouth,
because they'd be a hack pop band without George Martin, okay?
I just don't like what The Stones stand for, at this point.
- What do they stand for? - [sighs]
They stand for the fact that my generation, your generation,
- and their shitty generation has utterly failed to produce... - Whoa.
...a rock band the caliber of The Rolling Stones.
There is no band that people remember now, never mind in 30 years.
Are you fucking kidding? Fuck The Stones.
So let me get this straight.
Because you hate every band but The Stones, you hate The Stones.
See? You get it.
And believe me, I'm so fuckin' tired of women saying
they still find these old men sexy.
Like Mick's strutting up there, and they're like,
"Oh, I'm still fuckin' turned on by him."
No you're not. No you're fuckin' not.
These are old geezers.
And even if you found yourself in some groupie situation with them,
their dicks wouldn't even fuckin' work.
I'd still fuck Mick.
[utensils clatter]
[sighs]
[ring clatters]
- Fuck you, cunt. - Whoa.
Rebecca, wait. Please don't go.
Rebecca, is there any way I can still go with you guys?
- [Nina] Unlock the car. - I did!
- Rebecca, please. - Nina, wait.
- Richard, don't! Please. - I'm sorry.
- I'll do whatever you need. - Nat, just call me.
- I don't have your number. - [Nina] Becca, just go.
- Nina, I'm sorry. - Please.
- Hey! I love you. - Rebecca, please.
- [Nina] Get away from the car. - I love you. I'm sorry.
- Just open the door. Talk to me. - Get away from the car!
Fuck!
You can't call women the fuckin' C-word.
Yeah, well, she just broke my heart, Nat.
So I think "cunt" is the appropriate word.
I'm gonna go find my way to LA.
Oh, you're just pissed because Rebecca wouldn't fuck you.
Don't take it out on me, bro.
I'm the one who's brokenhearted here. I'm the one that just got hurt.
You don't think I see right fucking through you?
That you're fucking using me?
I'm paying for your hotel room, your food, your fuckin' drinks,
which, by the way, if you don't know, you're a fucking alcoholic!
Shut the fuck up, dude. No, no, no, no, no.
'Cause you're not paying for jack shit, little rich boy.
- Mommy and Daddy are paying for everything. - Whatever!
Have fun finding your way to fuckin' Vegas,
'cause you're not fuckin' coming with me to LA.
And you think I'm using you, dude? No.
You're fucking using me. Okay, my image!
Everything I fuckin' stand for, for your bullshit fucking art.
Fuck you.
And what you don't even get is that I have feelings, dude.
I have feelings just like you. Okay?
But you don't even see that because to you, I'm just some weird dude
you're slumming it with on the road, that you can fuckin' use
for stories to get your fuckin' dick sucked in art school.
- Fuck you, dude. - What the fuck are you talking about, Richard?
Come on, man!
You're fuckin' handsome.
You're rich.
You're on your way to becoming some fuckin' big artist or whatever.
And what am I? I'm just some fuckin' poor, ugly piece of shit
on his way to an early grave.
And here I was gonna help you out of a jam
so you wouldn't have to go running back to Mommy and Daddy again.
- Please, tell me how you were gonna help me. - How?
- I would love that. - How? I happen to have a friend
who lives not too far from here named François.
I snap my fucking fingers and he'll show up here,
- and he'll do whatever it takes to get you to LA. - Oh.
Pretty soon, you'll be in art school all safe and sound,
- while I'll be on the road fuckin' dying in a ditch. - Good luck with that.
I'm gonna take the bus. Have fun.
Joke's on you, asshole.
There's no bus station in this town.
Fuck!
Fine!
Call Francis or whatever the fuck his name is.
His name's François.
I don't give a fuck.
Okay, cool, I just... I need your phone.
What?
I need your phone to make the call.
I don't have a phone.
What's your code?
Couple things about François.
- What? - One,
don't call him Francis or Frank
or any shit like that, okay?
He doesn't like it.
Number two,
guy thinks he's some sort of fuckin' hard-core badass or whatever.
He's not.
He's a fuckin' pussy,
so don't listen to anything he says, okay?
Sounds just like you.
You know, you're becoming a real fuckin' asshole.
Well, I'm learning from the best.
- Minivan? - Yep.
All right.
So, just as soon as I have you sign here...
And here. Yep.
I can go ahead and take that car off your hands for ya.
All right. [sighs]
All right.
Pleasure doing business with ya.
Really need all that?
I mean, I can't just leave it all.
Right?
Whatever, man.
Is that him?
What the hell?
[door opens]
Oh, I guess some things just never change, huh?
François?
It's good to see ya, man.
- What are you wearing? - Clothes.
- Hey. - Hi.
- You must be Nat. - Yes.
Yeah.
Heard a lot of great stuff about you.
Oh. Good things, I hope.
- Good things, yeah. - Great.
Um, by the way, thank you so much for doing this.
No, problemo. De nada.
- That's a nice camera. What is that? - Uh, Pentax K1000.
- K1000? - Yeah.
- Where'd you get that? - Oh, my grandfather gave it to me.
Whoa! What the fuck, dude?
Yeah. That's Jacqueline. Watch your mouth, brother.
Yeah, miracle of life.
Pretty cool, right? Let's get the party started here.
Get your shit in the back.
Since when do you drive a Prius?
Since the Earth began to die.
[Richard] What happened to the GTO, man?
[François] I get 45 miles per gallon in the city in this thing.
Buckle up, dude.
What?
There's a kid in the car.
[folk song playing on radio]
[man] ♪ A-tisket, a-tasket ♪
♪ A green and yellow basket ♪
♪ I sent a letter to my mother ♪
♪ On the way I dropped it ♪
♪ I dropped it... ♪
So Richard, uh, you've been unusually quiet.
What the fuck happened to you, man?
This guy basically taught me everything I know.
Literally, I wouldn't even be able to wipe my own ass if it wasn't for this guy.
You don't know how to wipe your own ass, you dumb shit.
Well, that is kind of true.
But seriously, what happened?
Hey, life goes on. People change, man.
You're looking at the new me.
[Richard] Hey, Nat, will you hand me my backpack?
Uh, yeah, sure.
[sighs]
What the fu... Hey, have you seen my knife?
Your knife?
Yeah, my knife.
My fuckin' dad gave me that knife.
It's the only thing I have from him. It's not here.
Um, no. No, no, no, no. I haven't seen your knife.
Your knife, no.
That's weird.
[Nathan] Yeah, weird.
[François] When's the last time you were in Albuquerque, Richard?
You're too good for us now.
More like, Albuquerque's too good for me.
[Nathan] Hey man, again, I just wanna say thank you so much for this.
I really, really appreciate it.
[François] Yeah. Hey, it's Richard we're talking about, right?
I can't tell you how many times this guy's gotten me out of a jam.
Uh...
the sign says straight for Albuquerque.
- Huh? - The sign back there, it said straight for Albuquerque.
No.
We're, uh, taking a shortcut.
We're gonna go around the traffic.
Oh. Okay.
[Richard] Everybody's got Chlamydia.
- Fuckin' everybody's got Chlamydia. - [François] Yeah.
I'm talking to François about it, and he goes...
- Dude, I can't believe you're bringing this up. - "My bad."
- You remember that? - Yeah. I do, I do.
'Cause he was the one who had it.
He gave everybody the same Chlamydia.
- Anybody else need to piss? - [laughs]
Oh, man, we had some good fuckin' times together, man.
- Oh, shit, we sure did. - Oh, shit.
- Get out of the car. - [Nathan] Holy shit. What are you doing?
- Oh, fuck. - Get out of the car. Get the fuck out of the car.
- Go stand over there. - Fuck me.
How did I not see this coming?
You, give me your shit.
- What? - Your shit.
I want your wallet, I want your phone, and I want that sweet-ass camera.
Put it on the seat right now.
Hey, ándale. Let's go.
Come on.
If you want my shit, you're gonna have to come get it.
What shit do you have? You don't have any shit.
That's not how friends treat each other.
I just told that great story about how you gave me Chlamydia.
That doesn't make us friends.
The only reason I'm here is 'cause you said
you're with a little rich kid with a wad of cash.
Now look, you're not gonna say anything about this to anybody
because if you do, I'm gonna take a little fuckin' visit to Enfield Lane,
and I'm gonna curb-stomp your fuckin' mom and dad.
- [baby crying] - Shh. I know, honey.
It's okay.
I will kick your mother the fuck over, dude.
Is that what you want?
So you go ahead, you call the cops.
I'll take it out in pain.
Adios, motherfuckers.
I am so sorry.
- If I had any... - I'm done.
Hang on, Nat.
This is my fault, like, almost all of it.
Where are you going?
Nat, hang on.
Yeah, that's right. You-You lead the way, I'll follow you.
Nat, I fucked up.
Shut up, Richard.
Okay. Good. You're talking to me again?
Oh, thank God. This has been the longest three hours of my life.
- Oh, my God. - You know, if I had my knife,
I totally could've stabbed that asshole.
I threw your knife out the window!
- What? - Yeah.
So fuck you and fuck your knife.
Oh. Well, I guess we're even, now.
- Richard. - Huh?
- Shut up. - Oh.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You got it. - [sighs]
[blowing]
I think I figured the whole Nina thing out.
I think the mistake I made was I-I came on too strong.
I just... I fall in love too quick.
[Richard] You know, that's like... that's my cross to bear.
[Richard] Hey.
Hey, little guy.
You still mad at me?
[Nathan] Shut up.
[Nathan] You hear that?
Hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey!
Huh.
- Hi. - Hey.
Thank you so much for stopping.
What the heck are you doing out here?
Uh, it's a long story.
Uh, do you mind giving us a lift?
Well, I'm going as far as Silver City. You wanna go there?
Uh, yeah, that'd be great. Please.
Okay, guys. Hop on in. Come on.
Okay. Great. Thank you.
[woman] Here we go.
I've been up in Gila for the last few days.
I volunteer with the Park Service.
- [Nathan] Cool. - Yeah, cool.
- It is cool. - It's cold. It's freezing.
Here, take this sweatshirt.
- Here, put it on. - Are you sure?
Yeah, sure I'm sure.
Thank you.
What's going on with you guys?
What're you doing out on the road like that?
- Uh, we just got robbed and were stranded up here. - What?
- What, you got robbed? - Yeah.
- Oh, my God. - Friend of mine, who was supposed to be giving us a ride...
- A friend! - Well.
[laughing] Some friend.
- Yeah. - Jesus Christ.
[woman] Well, you're lucky it's January.
It could've been worse. The bears are all napping.
God, I remember three summers ago I was out here,
was on an expedition with a bunch of botanists.
They were out collecting a bunch of samples out in the field
and I was back at camp.
And I thought I'd make some...
some vegetable soup for everybody.
So I was peeling potatoes and I hear this...
[humming]
- What's that? - [chuckles]
Yeah, that's what I thought. "What's that?"
And I look up,
and there's a little cub.
And there's another little cub.
And behind the two cubs is Mommy.
- Oh. - Oh, my God.
Yeah. And she was not happy.
- And she was not asking me for soup. - [chuckles]
And I remembered, you know, you're supposed to, like,
get real full of yourself, you know?
You're supposed to, like, you know, be big, try to be as big as they are.
Well I'm 5'4", you know. So that's not gonna happen.
But I just got so full of adrenaline and fear
that I just started yelling at her.
And I said, "Get the fuck out of my campground, you crazy bitch!"
And... And I started throwing my potatoes at her.
And I startled her. She just...
I didn't know what was gonna happen, and all of a sudden...
Oh, thank you Jesus... she ran!
She ran. Her cubs ran.
And I just kept throwing. I was just picking up carrots and potatoes
and everything, and I just went crazy.
And... And then they were gone.
- And... - That's amazing.
And it was...
It was such a great feeling, you know?
It was like... It was like... It was like, you know...
Those times when you just feel like a penny waiting for a change
and then all of a sudden, the cash box is full.
Yeah. It was all right.
You know, those botanists came back and I-I told them that story.
[clicks tongue]
Well, somebody else was Big Man On Campus that night.
- [both laughing] - I can tell you that. That was the truth, yeah.
- Yeah. - Somewhere that bear's telling the story
- about the crazy lady with vegetables. - Yeah. [laughing]
Hey, Nat?
Nat. Wake up, buddy.
Okay.
I think you should report what happened to the police.
- Um... - Okay?
- Thank you. Yeah. - Yeah.
- Um, thank you very much. - You bet.
- For everything. Really. - You bet. No problem.
Hey. Hold on a second.
[grunting] Hold on a second.
You guys need this more than I do.
[clears throat]
- Thank you. - Sure.
- Really, thank you. - It's okay. Yeah.
You just... You go on in there and just tell 'em everything,
and they'll take care of ya.
I've known these guys for years. They're great.
- Okay, cool. Thank you. - Okay.
Hey, Richard? Good luck to ya, buddy.
Thanks for everything, Dotty.
Well... I guess this is it.
I don't know about you, but I'm starving.
Wait. What?
[Nathan] This is seriously, like, the best food I've ever eaten.
You've changed, man.
You're no longer like the baby Nat that I met a couple days ago.
You're like, real hard-core now.
- Being held at gunpoint will do that to you. - It's true.
Hey, so when you go to the cops,
probably gonna hang out here.
Me and the police, we don't really mix very well.
I'm not going to the station. Hitching a ride to Albuquerque.
To Albuquerque?
François.
- You ready to see how it's done? - By all means, please.
- You ready to see the master in action? - I would love to.
- Show me how it's done please, bud. - [blows]
Here we go.
We're about to go to Albuquerque.
Ten bucks says I get the first car.
- You guys need a ride? - [Richard] Yeah.
- [Nathan] Yeah, we would love one. - Yeah, come on. Why?
[Nathan] Yeah, are you going to Albuquerque?
Real sorry, dude. She's freakin' out. I don't know.
Fuck you!
That was weird.
Fuck, man.
Ah, actually that happens to me all the time.
- Really? - Yeah.
You get out here and try it. Maybe your pretty face will change the equation.
Sure. Should I... So it's blowin' on the thumb?
- Oh, just get out there, you little shit. - That's... Just blow on it?
- Yeah. - Like that?
- Shut up. - Do I shake it?
- Do I go rad? - You know what? Don't get cocky, okay?
Oh. Hey, hey, hey.
- I think I got one. - What?
- No! - Yes!
- [cackles] - Are you kidding?
- Amazing! - That's not how it works.
I want you to know that.
- You just got lucky. That's beginner's luck. - No.
Hi. Uh, we're headed towards Albuquerque.
- Do you mind if you take us? - Get in the back.
- I got the car.
[Richard] Right up here is fine.
- Thank you so much, Gary. - [Gary] All right, man.
- Good luck with getting your kids back. - [Nathan] Thank you very much.
[Richard] Okay, listen.
I don't know what you think you're doing, okay,
but this isn't your exact world, okay, crime and so forth.
So you don't just go barging into some guy's house who robbed you at gunpoint.
- I think that's the car. - Wait. No.
It may be, but it doesn't matter.
Are you listening to me?
You... Nat.
- Nat! - Shut up, Richard. Come on.
- You can't sneak around in the middle of broad daylight. - Shh!
Walk like a normal person.
You look ridi... Oh, my God.
You're gonna get us arrested.
My wallet and stuff are in the back.
Shit. It's locked.
What are you doing? No, no, no, no, no!
Come back. No, don't.
- God! Fuck! - Shh!
Goddamn it. That cactus got me right in the fuckin' dick.
- His keys are right by the front door. - God. Fuck.
God.
- Door's locked. - Okay. Well, we tried. Let's go.
Yeah. Let's go through the back.
No. We're not going through the back.
You don't go in the back door of someone's house
who you know has a gun, and is also inside the house.
You are doing this wrong. It's not like the back door is gonna be open anyway.
Oh, goddamn it!
[TV show playing faintly]
[man on TV] When Turner gives the order, cease fire.
[Nathan whispering] I'm gonna get his keys. Cover me. Okay?
Okay.
[man on TV] You wait for a sign.
[TV chatter continues]
Go.
[baby babbling] Mommy.
[baby coos]
[coos]
[mutters]
[squeals]
- Hang on. - What?
I'm gonna take a shit on this guy's front step.
No one fucks with my friends.
- [straining] - Hurry up.
- Richard. - Oh!
Taking a shit on my steps?
Monica, get the gun.
Oh, God.
You little bitch-ass piece of shit!
- François, I can't hear you. - I said, get the gun!
Don't yell. You'll wake up the ba... Oh, you woke the baby.
- So, feed her! - Father of the Fuckin' Year.
- Is that Richard? - [Richard] Hi, Monica.
Cool, guys. Awesome.
[groans]
You think you're so hard, don't you?
You don't know hard.
You pussy little bitch.
- Richard! - [François] Piece of shit.
You don't know.
You're a fuckin' joke, Richard.
You always have been. And you always will be.
Come on.
I'll drive.
- What? - I'll drive!
Okay.
He's not getting up.
- Hurry up! - [Richard] I'm hurrying.
It's a fuckin' Prius, dickhead.
Thank you, man. Thank you for helping me out. That was huge.
- Do you think I hurt him? - Fuck, yeah, you hurt him. Are you kidding?
- You probably fuckin' killed him. - What?
I'm kidding with you. Dude, I'm fucking with you.
- You definitely did not kill him. - Okay.
At best, he's gonna need some stitches, okay.
Which he fucking deserves for coming at us like that.
Whoo! Classic François, though.
I'm glad to know he's still in the game.
Geez.
[exhales] Look good?
- It's great. - Okay, good.
- It's good, it's good. - All right.
- Oh. - Fuck, yeah. We did it, man.
- We fuckin' did it. - Oh, my God, your head's bleeding.
- Are you okay? - What?
Oh, look at that. Yeah.
Oh, he fuckin' got me. [laughs]
You know what though? I got to respect it.
He had to come at me.
Makes sense.
I mean, it's crazy.
- It's crazy. - Nah. You know, it's not crazy.
- It's François. - I hit him.
Dude, did you see when I did it? I hit him...
- Oh, yeah. It was fuckin' badass, dude. - Oh, my God. That's amazing.
- I've never done anything like that before in my life. - That was fuckin' badass moves.
- I love that. - Jesus Christ.
- What's happening? - What's happening is you're getting out.
- Let's go. - What?
Okay. Come on.
We're driving a stolen car.
You just assaulted somebody. We gotta get you outta here.
What about you?
[scoffs] What about me? Who cares?
Just take your stuff and go.
That's it? That's all you're taking?
Yeah. All this shit doesn't seem important anymore.
You're welcome to keep whatever you want and throw away whatever you don't.
All right. Whatever.
This is our third time saying good-bye.
Yeah, well, you know what they say. Third time's a charm, right?
All right. Oh, okay.
You take care of yourself, Nat. Okay?
You too, Richard.
You're a good kid.
Thanks, man.
Keep that dick dry.
Yep.
- [clears throat] - You too, bud.
Hey, Nat.
Eat shit.
[R & B intro]
[man] ♪ This road ♪
♪ Is gonna take us back now ♪
♪ You look so fine ♪
♪ I don't know how to act now ♪
♪ They say my child ♪
♪ Don't stroll off easy ♪
♪ 'Cause when it's time ♪
♪ You gone hear what she said ♪
♪ Is it any wonder? ♪
♪ If you ever leave me alone ♪
♪ I'll be crying Wishing you'd come home ♪
♪ Whoo-oh ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
[ends]
[no audible dialogue]
Subtitles by explosiveskull Sync by GoldenBeard