[ EVIL LAUGHTER ] AAH!
[ PANTING ] [ German accent ] WHAT EIN
HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE.
WAS IT THE ONE WHERE YOU FORGOT TO STUDY FOR A BIG TEST?
NO, SILLY, IT WAS MUCH SCARIER.
AAH!
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY CARTOON NETWORK
[ LAUGHTER ] A TOAST TO THE SEVEN SEAS.
MORE SUGAR FOR ME AND ME MATEYS.
WHO'S NEXT?
CAN NO ONE EAT MORE SUGAR THAN OLD STICKYBEARD?
I CAN.
AARGH.
YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE SHOWING YOUR FACE IN THE
CANDY BAR, LASSIE.
I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR SWEET TALK.
I CAME FOR INFORMATION.
IT'S HEINRICH. HE'S MISSING.
BLASTED FOOL PROBABLY GOT HIMSELF IN TROUBLE WITH THE
MARSHMALLOW MAYANS AGAIN.
NOPE, IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH LICORICE -- BLACK LICORICE.
AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT IT, AND YOU'RE
GONNA HELP ME FIND HEINRICH -- THAT IS, UNLESS YOU'RE
SUGAR-FREE.
OOH!
YOU KNOW A CANDY PIRATE CAN'T SAY NO TO A SUGARY CHALLENGE.
SO LET'S DO IT.
'TIS YOUR BLOOD-SUGAR LEVELS, LASSIE.
SET US UP!
NOW...
READY...
SET...
HA!
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
UH...TWO OUT OF THREE?
NO, THANKS. NOW SPILL IT.
[ GROANS ] VERY WELL.
[ FANFARE PLAYS ] ♪ OHH
♪ ONCE THERE WAS A PIRATE BY THE NAME OF BLACK JOHN ♪
♪ WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR CANDY, EVEN STEAL IT FROM HIS MOM ♪
♪ WELL, HE SAILED A SUMMER THROUGH JUST TO FILL HIS CANDY
QUOTA ♪ ♪ TILL HE STUMBLED ON AN ISLAND
OFF THE COAST OF NORTH DAKOTA ♪ ♪ AND THERE HE FOUND
LICORICE, LICORICE ♪ ♪ SWEET, JUICY, AND RED
♪ IT GREW LIKE BAMBOO ♪ TO THE HEAVENS IT SPREAD
♪ LICORICE, LICORICE ♪ AS RED AS MY BEARD
♪ THERE WERE ACRES FOR ALL TAKERS, OR SO IT APPEARED ♪
♪ BUT OLD BLACK JOHN WANTED IT ALL TO HIMSELF ♪
♪ SO HE CUT THE STALKS DOWN AND SAILED OFF WITH HIS WEALTH ♪
♪ BUT HIS GREED HAD A COST FOR HIM AND ALL HIS CREW ♪
♪ SOME VERY BAD THINGS WERE TO HAPPEN, WHO KNEW? ♪
♪ AND THAT'S WHEN THE LICORICE, LICORICE ♪
♪ TURNED RANCID AND BLACK ♪ WAS DEAD, NO, NOT RED
♪ AND TASTED LIKE... [ COUGHING ]
♪ LICORICE, LICORICE ♪ THERE'S MORE YET TO TELL
♪ THEIR BONES, HOW THEY GROANED, TURNED TO LICORICE AS
WELL ♪ ♪ CURSED TO BE SKELETONS
ALIVE ONLY AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ FOR BY DAY, THEY COLLAPSE AT
THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT ♪ ♪ BUT AT DUSK, THEY'D ARISE JUST
BARELY ALIVE ♪ ♪ TILL ONE DAY THEY HEARD OF A
WAY TO SURVIVE ♪ GO BACK TO THE ISLAND AND
PLANT THERE THIS SEED.
LET MOONLIGHT UPON IT.
WITH SODA, THEN FEED.
♪ AND THEN WE'LL GROW LICORICE, LICORICE ♪
♪ SWEET, JUICY, AND RED ♪ THE CURSE WILL REVERSE
♪ FROM YOUR BONES IT WILL SHED ♪ LICORICE, LICORICE
♪ NO LONGER SO BLACK ♪ ONE SEED'S ALL YOU NEED TO
GROW IT ALL BACK ♪ ♪ SO THEY SAILED FOR THE ISLAND
WITH THE SEED THAT NIGHT ♪ ♪ BUT, ALAS, STOPPED SHORT WHEN
CAME MORNING'S FIRST LIGHT ♪ ♪ 'TWAS THE VERY SAME DAY THAT
WE CAME ALONG ♪ ♪ JUST MY CABIN BOY AND ME WHERE
WE DIDN'T BELONG ♪ ♪ WE CLIMBED UP THE STEPS AND
WALKED 'ROUND ALL THE STUMPS ♪ ♪ AND FOUND THERE BLACK JOHN AND
HIS SKELETON CLUMPS ♪ ♪ THEN HEINRICH DID SOMETHING
THAT SHATTERED THE CALM ♪ ♪ HE SNATCHED 'WAY THE SEED FROM
JOHN'S BONY OLD PALM ♪ ♪ NOW, THE SUN, IT WENT DOWN,
AND JOHN SPRUNG BACK TO LIFE ♪ ♪ AND GRABBED FOR THE SEED WITH
GREAT ANGER AND STRIFE ♪ ♪ BUT SOMEHOW, WE ESCAPED AND
SAILED OFF IN THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ NOT KNOWING THAT JOHN FOLLOWED
AND YELLED OUT IN SPITE ♪ ♪ LICORICE, LICORICE
♪ I'LL FIND YOU, MY FRIEND ♪ MY CREW SHALL PURSUE
♪ ON THAT YOU CAN DEPEND THERE YOU HAVE IT, LASSIE.
NOW BEAT IT.
THERE'S JUST ONE THING.
IF HEINRICH TOOK THE SEED, WHAT'D HE DO WITH IT?
I ATE IT!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ATE IT?
THE FOOD AT THE KIDS NEXT DOOR PRISON WAS AWFUL, SO
YESTERDAY, I TOOK THE SEED OUT OF MEIN POCKET, UND I ATE IT!
THEN I SAY WE PLUNGE HIS STOMACH TO GET THE SEED.
YEAH!
I SAY REACH DOWN HIS THROAT AND GRAB IT.
YEAH!
I SAY KICK HIM IN THE STOMACH TILL HE COUGHS UP THE SEED.
YEAH!
I SAY WE PLUNGE HIM, REACH DOWN HIS THROAT, KICK HIM IN THE
STOMACH, AND GIVE HIM THE WORST WEDGIE OF HIS LIFE!
YEAH!
I SAY WE SEND HIM HOME.
WELL, THAT'S THINKING OUT OF THE BOX.
I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.
KNOCK IT OFF, YOU SUFFERING SEA DOGS.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WITH THIS SEED-STEALING MONGREL.
NO!
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO -- ♪ GO BACK TO THE ISLAND AND
PLANT THERE THIS SEED ♪ ♪ LET MOONLIGHT UPON IT
♪ WITH SODA, THEN FEED BUT IF THE SEED GROWS IN MEIN
TUMMY, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME?!
A VERY GOOD QUESTION.
MY GUESS IS THAT YOU'LL GO...
BUT I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH.
ARE YOU READY TO BE HUMAN AGAIN, ME MATEYS?
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.
ARE YE READY TO SEE SUNLIGHT AND EAT CANDY WITHOUT IT TASTING
LIKE BLACK LICORICE?
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.
ARE YOU READY TO -- LET THE BOY GO.
THAT'S NOT MY PARTICULAR CHOICE.
WELL, IF IT ISN'T ME OLD CABIN BOY, STICKYFUZZ.
I'M NOT YOUR CABIN BOY ANYMORE, JOHN, AND THE NAME'S
STICKYBEARD NOW.
AW, BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THAT CUTE LITTLE SWEET-TOOTHED KID
WITH THE PEACH FUZZ ON HIS LIP TO ME.
NOW OFF WITH YE.
I'M BUSY HERE.
I AIN'T LEAVING WITHOUT THE BOY, JOHN.
HE MAY BE STUPID, BUT I'M WILLING TO FIGHT FOR HIM UNLESS
YE BE SUGAR-FREE.
OOH!
WHAT DID YE SAY?
I SAID LET'S FIGHT FOR HIM AND FIGHT THE ONLY WAY CANDY
PIRATES KNOW HOW -- WITH SUGAR.
YE THINK YE CAN BEAT ME?
NO MAN HAS EVER OUTSUGARED BLACK JOHN LICORICE.
NOW, WHO SAID ANYTHING 'BOUT A MAN?
A GIRL?
OH, STICKYFUZZ, YOU REALLY -- OW!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.
NUMBUH 5 KIND OF LIKES BLACK LICORICE.
YE WANT A PIECE OF ME, GIRLY GIRL?
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
BRING IT ON.
AARGH.
NOW...
READY...
SET...
HA!
OH, DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, JOHNNYCAKES?
NOT BAD, LASSIE, BUT YE BE SWIMMING OFF THE CHARTS NOW.
THIS CHALLENGE IS TO THE DEATH OF YOUR BLOOD-SUGAR LEVELS.
MM-HMM.
[ GRUNTING ] AW, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?
IT'S ALMOST TIME.
HELP ME, ABIGAIL.
'TIS YOUR TURN, LASSIE.
THINK YE CAN DO IT?
[ GRUNTING ] AAH!
LOOK, LADS, THE SEED GROWS.
LAST CHANCE TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND'S LIFE, GIRLIE.
[ GRUNTING ] I TOLD YE NO ONE COULD
OUTSUGAR ME TIMBERS.
LOOK, LADS, THE LICORICE SEED IS RETURNING US TO NORMAL.
LOOKS LIKE OLD JOHN BEAT YE, LASSIE.
WASN'T TRYING TO BEAT YOU, JOHN.
I WAS STALLING YOU.
NOW!
AAH!
THE SEED! NO!
NO! PLEASE! NO!
NO! WE'RE CHANGING BACK!
AFTER SO MANY YEARS, BLACK LICORICE ALL OVER AGAIN.
YOU HAVE DOOMED US TO A LIFE OF LIVING LICORICE.
OVER THE TEETH AND THROUGH THE GUMS.
LOOK OUT, JOHN.
HERE COMES THE SUN!
HUH? NO!
IT -- IT CAN'T BE MORNING ALREADY!
AAH!
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS.
YOU'LL -- HUH?
OH, HEY, HEINIE.
ABIGAIL, I -- I NEVER GOT EIN CHANCE TO THANK YOU FOR SAVING
ME.
OH, THAT'S COOL.
MAYBE THIS MAKES US EVEN FOR GUATEMALA?
NOT EVEN CLOSE!
NOT EVEN IF YOU SAVED MEIN LIFE 2,000 TIMES!
CHILL OUT, MAN.
NUMBUH 5 WAS JUST KIDDING.
BESIDES, YOU CAN THANK ME ONCE WE GET BACK.
UH...BACK WHERE?
VERY FUNNY, ABIGAIL LINCOLN.
I'LL GET OUT, UND I'LL FINALLY HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU, ABIGAIL!
[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]
[ BABY COOS ] [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
[ LOUD CRASH ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] COME ON! LET'S --
AAH!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD.
THERE HE IS!
HUH?
DON'T MOVE, COUNT -- THAT IS, UNLESS YOU WANT A TASTE OF OUR
CREAMY-GARLIC-LOADED LASERS.
AAH!
NUMBUH 3?
KUKI, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
MEDIC! WE NEED HELP!
MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY!
[ CRYING ] NUMBUH 3, WE NEED TO TALK.
LISTEN, I REALIZE MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY MEANS A LOT TO
YOU, BUT BECAUSE OF HIM, COUNT SPANKULOT GOT AWAY.
YOU'RE A KIDS NEXT DOOR OPERATIVE FIRST.
NOTHING, NOT EVEN A HUGIDACIOUSLY ADORABLE RAINBOW
MONKEY, SHOULD INTERFERE WITH YOUR DUTIES.
THEN I GUESS I WON'T BE GOING ON MISSIONS ANYMORE.
NUMBUH 3, SOMETIMES THINGS JUST GET OLD, AND, WELL, THEY
NEED TO BE DECOMMISSIONED.
WAA!
COME ON. LISTEN.
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.
I'M NOT LISTENING.
YOU TRY TALKING TO HER.
I GIVE UP.
UH...I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR RAINBOW MONKEY,
BUT COME ON.
RAINBOW MUNCHIES ALWAYS CHEERS NUMBUH 5 UP WHEN SHE GETS THE
BLUES.
THEY REALLY DO TASTE 37% SUGARIER!
WHOA.
WHEN YOUR RAINBOW MONKEY'S PAST HIS PRIME, BRING HIM HERE TO
PASS THE TIME.
WITH PEACEFUL GROUNDS AND LOTS OF PILLOWS, CHECK THEM IN TO
FLUFFY MEADOWS!
A RETIREMENT HOME FOR RAINBOW MONKEYS?
NOW, THAT'S GOT TO BE THE -- GREATEST IDEA EVER!
HERE AT FLUFFY MEADOWS, WE HAVE DOZENS OF ACTIVITIES TO
KEEP YOUR RAINBOW MONKEY ENTERTAINED DURING THEIR STAY.
B-7. ANYONE?
DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE BINGO YET?
OH, THIS IS THE LAST BALL.
AND IN OUR LOUNGE, WE AIR RAINBOW MONKEY TV 24 HOURS A
DAY.
AND, OF COURSE, WE PROVIDE ALL OUR GUESTS WITH THREE SUGARY,
LOVE-FILLED MEALS A DAY.
LET ME GUESS -- RAINBOW MUNCHIES CEREAL?
NO, SILLY!
EVERYONE KNOWS RAINBOW MONKEYS ONLY EAT BIRTHDAY CAKE.
OF COURSE. HOW STUPID OF ME.
WE ALSO PROVIDE SUPERVISED STROLLS AROUND OUR PRIVATE LAKE,
AQUACISE CLASSES, AND -- YES, IT ALL SOUNDS PERFECT,
BUT I'LL NEED TO SPEND A MOMENT ALONE TO DISCUSS IT WITH MY
FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY.
TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I KNOW IT'S DIFFERENT, BUT THIS PLACE LOOKS LIKE LOTS OF FUN.
HMM?
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!
NO! WE NEED TO BE STRONG.
IT'S THE BEST THING FOR BOTH OF US.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
I'LL MISS YOU, TOO, BUT I'LL COME VISIT.
I WILL, TOO!
COME ON, KUKI.
WE REALLY SHOULD GET GOING.
OH.
OKAY.
MMM. MMM. MMM.
MAN, THIS NEW-AND-IMPROVED RAINBOW MUNCHIES HAS BEEN FLYING
OFF THE SHELF.
WANT A BOWL?
IT'LL HELP YOU TAKE YOUR MIND OFF MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY.
OKAY.
HEY, KUKI, YOU WANT THE PRIZE?
HERE. IT'S YOURS.
HEY!
THIS LOOKS JUST LIKE THE BUTTON I SEWED ON MY FIRST RAINBOW
MONKEY.
COME ON.
THERE MUST BE TONS OF BUTTONS THAT LOOK LIKE THAT ONE.
NO!
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HIM.
I CAN SMELL IT!
NOW, NOW. I'M SURE HE'S FINE.
MAYBE WE'LL JUST GO VISIT HIM LATER.
OR NOW!
I'M TRULY SORRY, BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN EITHER ONE OF YOU
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, WE WERE JUST HERE YESTERDAY!
AND WE LEFT MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY WITH YOU!
MAYBE YOU LEFT YOUR DOLLY AT A DIFFERENT ELDERLY-CARE
FACILITY.
NO! I KNOW HE'S HERE!
DON'T YOU USE THAT!
KUKI! DOWN, GIRL! HEEL!
LOOK, KIDS, WE'RE VERY BUSY HERE, SO COULD YOU GO PLAY
SOMEWHERE ELSE?
UH...WE ARE SO SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU, SIR.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
WE ARE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT MY RAINBOW MONKEY!
CHILL, NUMBUH 3.
WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
WE JUST NEED A PLAN.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] WHAT'S THIS?
"WE'RE REALLY OLD.
TAKE CARE OF US."
OH, YOU POOR DEARS.
TWO MORE JUST CAME IN.
EXCELLENT.
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ] OW!
THEY COULD USE SOME WATER ON THAT WATERSLIDE, DON'T YOU
THINK?
A RAINBOW MONKEY COULD REALLY LOSE SOME FUR ON THAT THING.
UH...
I DON'T THINK THAT WAS A WATERSLIDE, NUMBUH 3.
WHAT ARE ALL THESE POOR OLD RAINBOW MONKEYS DOING DOWN HERE
IN THE DARK INSTEAD OF RECEIVING MANAGED CARE?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I SAY YOU FIND YOUR RAINBOW MONKEY FAST
WHILE NUMBUH 5 SEES IF SHE CAN FIND US A WAY OUT OF HERE.
MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
COME ON. COME ON.
OH, HI, THERE, MISS BAR MITZVAH EVER RAINBOW MONKEY.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY?
THIS IS A GOOD VIEW.
MY FIRST RAINBOW MONKEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
[ GASPS ] A DOOR!
LET'S JUST HOPE THIS IS THE WAY OUT.
AAH!
NUMBUH 3!
WHAT THE? AAH! WHOA! WHOA!
GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
AAH!
HELP!
HELP ME, NUMBUH 5!
HOLD TIGHT, NUMBUH 3.
NOT SO FAST!
NURSE CLAIBORNE.
APPLE CRUMBLE BUSINESS NOT GOING SO WELL?
NOT SINCE YOU KIDS NEXT DOOR RUINED IT BY TELLING EVERYONE
THE TOPPING WAS PINKEYE CRUST.
AFTER THAT, I COULDN'T GET A SCHOOL NURSE'S JOB OR SELL MY
DELICIOUS BAKED GOODS ANYWHERE.
THE ONLY WORK I COULD GET IS TAKING CARE OF THESE CURSED
RAINBOW MONKEYS.
BUT ONE DAY, I DISCOVERED THAT RAINBOW MUNCHIES CEREAL TASTED
EVEN BETTER WHEN ITS MADE WITH REAL RAINBOW MONKEYS.
RAINBOW MUNCHIES IS RAINBOW MONKEYS?!
YES!
AND I WONDER IF IT'LL TASTE ANY SWEETER WITH YOU IN IT.
I'M SORRY, LITTLE GIRL.
DID YOU NOT WANT ME TO PRESS THIS?
AAH!
OH, DEAR.
NUMBUH 3!
I DO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.
I ONLY HAVE THOSE THREE BANDAGES FOR YOU, AND WHERE YOU'RE GOING,
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED ABOUT 10 TRILLION MORE.
LOOK OUT BELOW.
[ GASPS ] IF I WERE YOU, CRUSTY, I'D LOOK
OUT ABOVE.
WHAT ARE YOU -- OH! AAH!
GET -- AAH! AAH!
I'M GONNA FALL.
AAH!
HELP ME, PLEASE.
PULL ME UP. PLEASE!
ALL RIGHT, BUT FIRST, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A COUPLE OF
PROMISES.
OKAY. ANYTHING YOU WANT.
I WAS THINKING YOU COULD DRIVE US TO THE MALL AND GIVE US
A COUPLE BUCKS FOR BLURPLEBERRY SMOOTHIES AND --
NUMBUH 5's GOT AN EVEN BETTER IDEA.
HERE. I'M DONE NOW, RIGHT?
YOU MEAN WE DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT YOU HAD TO SEW ALL OF THE
RAINBOW MONKEYS BACK TOGETHER?
[ LAUGHS ] NOW GET SEWING!
GET TO SEWING, CRUSTY.
[ LAUGHS ]
B-7.
FOR THE LAST TIME -- B-7.
ANYONE?
BINGO?
DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE BINGO?
PLEASE, SOMEONE CALL BINGO.
MY SHIFT IS OVER.
[ Sobbing ] I WANT TO GO HOME!
BINGO!