Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
We're back!
This is always my favourite time of the year.
Everything feels nice and familiar.
The clocks have gone back, Strictly's on the telly
and Harris has got his autumn socks on.
100% Merino, Pad. Anything less - mug's game.
It's that time of year, isn't it, for battening down the hatches
and hunkering down. Oh, I do love a hunker.
I've heard you in the dressing room. I've heard you!
And, of course, we've got a brand-new series of Top Gear.
Take a look at this.
Watch this.
We're going in!
I love the fact that it revs to 11!
Love that it goes to 11!
It's like a giant game of Guess Who, isn't it?
Where's the turn there?
Just reminds me of being young and stupid.
My onions have gone again.
My onions have gone!
Watch this, boys - the transformer. Are you ready?
It's crazy, that.
Oh, my word!
I hope you've got comprehensive insurance, Paddy.
Whoa!
This is absolutely bonkers.
Ready?
It sort of worked.
Exciting!
It's not bad. The best bunch of cars we've had in ages.
Real quality. Yes. Really good.
All that to come.
But right now, we've got a cracking show in store.
Later on, Chris Harris gets his Merino-woollen mitts
on that battery-powered beast over there.
But we kick off by talking about this, the humble
pick-up truck. Fred!
Say some words.
I will do that.
Pick-ups are on the rise here in the UK,
but pretty much everywhere else on the planet
they're already massive news.
About 4 million of them are sold around the world every year.
That's a lot of picking up.
We wanted to dig a little deeper into this mysterious world,
so we hopped on a flight to the spiritual home of the pick-up,
which, as it turned out, wasn't America.
Get out!
This is Thailand, home to white sand beaches, lush jungle
and plenty of pick-up trucks.
Thailand buys more pick-ups per head than any other country in the world.
And, with a few grand each
to see what we could pick up on the local market,
let's just say I had absolutely nailed it.
Look at this.
I have not messed about.
I've gone for a Toyota Hilux,
the camel of the car world,
tough as old boots, because you see round here, pick-ups...
They're not just for delivering trestle tables
to the local village fete.
These get things anywhere they need to go.
As you can see, this one, not exactly standard.
It's been raised.
It's got big monster tyres, got a winch at the front.
This thing has been made Thailand ready.
I've smashed it out of the park.
Jeez!
Not so fast.
Because, if you want a truly Thai truck,
then look no further than the Isuzu D-Max.
Oh, wow!
Look at this!
Morning. Good morning.
D-Max? Yes.
Most popular pick-up drop in Thailand, that.
150,000 sold every year.
This is what they're all about. This is the culture.
It's a big thing over here -
pimping up your pick-up trucks.
You've got a carbon bonnet pad. Is that carbon?
Yes, I have. Carbon-wrapped fibre.
Don't ruin the illusion. Your wheels. Yes. Have a look in.
Lovely, isn't it? Bucket seats.
Gear stick. Oh, it's got the lot.
I must admit, I think you've done all right. It's what it's all about.
Stands out, doesn't it?
Maybe, but to really appreciate Thailand's love affair with the pick-up,
you'll want something a bit more bespoke.
Ah! I tell you what, bud...
Wow, Chris - an E30 BMW.
What I've done here... I was just going to say. Talk us through it.
Well, I mean, come on. I've taken a lovely old three series
which was nearing the end of its life
and I've transformed it into a performance pick-up.
Doesn't it look gorgeous? I'm just staring at its beauty.
Didn't do it myself - it was a man here who did it because frankly
they will turn anything into a pick-up out here and they'll do
it with some style.
It's a beautiful job, all done locally.
Now, obviously, we can see what you've done to it, OK.
But pick-up trucks essentially are going to be off-roading.
We can see what you've done. Whoa! What can we not see?
What have you done to make it pick-up-esque underneath?
When you said off-roading... Yeah. I'm looking at these cars
and we're very much for different roads.
You just took a three series... Yeah.
..cut the back off... Yeah. ..that's it. Yeah.
Wow!
So, with two trucks and a chopped up Beemer all ready to roll...
..we headed out to discover what Thailand and its pick-up obsession was really all about.
I look the Thai culture, lads.
It's very bright and brash and in your face.
It's a bit of a senses overload.
Anywhere else. If we were driving around in the UK in this pick-up,
everyone would be looking at it.
But over here it's just part of the furniture.
Do you know what the single most important law of the road
is over here?
It is actually illegal to drive without wearing a shirt.
McGuinness, you are, let's say, pushing it slightly.
Everywhere you look, boys, there's pick-up trucks.
Thailand really is the pick-up capital of the world.
It's known as the Detroit of the Far East because they build
so many of the things, literally millions a year.
Look at this coming through.
It's outrageous.
That is ridiculously overloaded.
Now, to put our pick-ups to the test, we've been told to head north
towards the capital, Bangkok.
From there, we'd be striking out deep into Thailand's rural interior.
What that would mean for my low-slung Beemer
we'd have to wait and see,
but so far it was looking very good indeed.
If you want quality and durability, go mid-'80s Germany.
I mean, this must be a 40-year-old car
and it's superb.
The trim's in great condition.
I've got the optional sport seats.
Still think that if BMW made a car that looked like this now
it'd be a runaway best-seller.
Especially as BMW already knows exactly how to build one.
Behold the original E30 pick-up.
Built back in the mid-'80s to haul parts around the factory
at BMW's slightly unhinged, high-performance M Division,
it was surely the coolest pick-up truck in history.
And now, thanks to some genius local workmanship, there's another one.
I've not budgeted for tarmac as good as this.
You must be loving life in yours, Chris.
Lovely BMW, straight six. It's all familiar in here.
Yeah, she just cruises along.
I don't want to burst your bubble,
but whatever the road throws at me in this, I'm ready for.
Anything!
These days, everyone's rolling round in SUVs,
but I've Got to ask, what does an Audi Q7 give you that this doesn't?
I'm up high. I can see everything.
Now, it's a bit tatty inside, but it's going to be.
These are workhorses.
And don't forget, this workhorse is a Hilux.
Over 50 years they've been building these.
Selling 18 million of them to every corner of the globe.
It's 20 years old, this car.
207,000 kilometres, it'll go forever.
Maybe it will.
But in Thailand, they have different priorities.
If you go to Holland, you'll expect to see a bicycle.
Come to Thailand and expect to see a D-Max.
It was made here, it was launched here.
And it's capable.
It's practical.
The white T-shirt of the pick-up world.
Everyone's got one, and they do the job.
And like any white T-shirt,
there's always room for improvement.
A bit of glitter, a few sequins sewn on.
Really pimp 'em up.
And to make that very point,
we were soon told to stop off at a nearby circuit
where we'd be getting a taste of how the locals go racing.
Look at this.
Oh, wow!
That is mega.
Look at the trucks coming through, look at these.
Oh, D-Maxs, lads.
I told you, they absolutely love 'em round here.
What a little circuit.
Set on the edge of the Kaeng Krachan National Park,
the KK Circuit is surely one of the more spectacular tracks
that the world of motorsport has to offer.
This is nice, Chris, innit?
Look at this.
What a track.
But better still, it plays host
to one of Thailand's favourite race series.
Diesel D-Maxs tuned to over 300 horsepower
going wheel to wheel in a fully fledged pick-up truck championship.
CHRIS COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS
Wowsers.
ENGINES ROAR
Sound a bit different to yours, Pad.
Yeah. Don't they? Yeah. THEY LAUGH
We weren't just here to watch, though.
No. To give us the full performance pick-up experience,
we'd been invited to take part in our own special relay race.
Each paired with a local pro
whose first job was to jump
on board our pick-ups
to give us a quick look
at the track.
Here we go.
A ride, it would be fair to say, some enjoyed more than others.
TYRES SCREECH
CHEERING
Right line? Right line.
Whoa!
LAUGHING
Whoa.
TYRES SCREECH
LAUGHING The back wheel came up.
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
CHRIS LAUGHS Wow!
I think he likes the drift.
With the pre-race entertainment done with, it was relay time.
Having each been lent one of our team-mates' spare trucks to run in,
the race itself would be fought over two stints,
each with a grid of six cars.
Our team-mates would be up first, battling for four laps
to put us in the best position they could
to then take on our own set of pros
in another four lap run to the finish.
My lad, Pete, he's all over it, he loves it.
This is your lad, 68.
Come on, boss.
There's my lad.
Sarun. He's called Sarun.
He's in Tommy.
Bit confusing. You what?
That's... He's called Sarun,
his car's got the name Tommy on the side.
He's not called Tommy. Is his car called Tommy?
His car's called Tommy. Who's called Tommy?
The car.
So, our first pick-up race was on.
Go on, Sarun!
They shift, don't they?
And it looks easy from out here. I don't think it's so easy in there.
I don't think it looks easy, Chris.
No, I don't know what you're watching, Chris.
Can I make a prediction here, Paddy?
We're going to be fifth and sixth.
Come on, Tommy!
Wind it up, son!
Are you at the front, Fred? Second.
Second, Chris, I'm third.
You're lad is racing the race of his life here. Shut up.
He's going to get out to you and go, "Carry on."
Oh! He nearly had the back end out then.
With the pros now fighting over the last lap,
we headed for our race trucks...
..and got ready to take to the track.
Wow, it's hot in here.
McGuinness's would be handing over to him in fourth,
mine second,
while Harris's...
Bloody hell, I'm in first.
What a drive.
..had landed him in the lead.
I'm off. And we're off.
Come on!
Six cars, four laps, and we were off to a flying start.
This is a very intimidating vehicle.
Might have bit off more than I can chew here.
Although one of us would probably have liked
a slightly smoother take-off.
Oh, he's away here, Chris Harris.
How am I going to keep with this lad?
TYRES SCREECH
There's an off straight away. Is that Flintoff?
Get back out.
Wow, that was different.
This is sketchy.
What is this I'm driving?
I've spun out on the first corner.
To be fair, though, up at the front, even our best driver
was finding his truck tricky to master.
TYRES SCREECH
Brakes are terrible.
This thing, I know it just looks like a pick-up to you,
but it's one of the most difficult cars I've ever driven.
Oh, too much, too much, too much.
Take it off a bit.
Wow!
Whoa, Fred, nice and easy.
Is he catching me? I'm not sure he is.
Despite his teething troubles,
Harris was keeping the second place pro at bay
and was looking nailed on for the win.
Come on!
But as the laps ticked away...
Yeah, baby!
Two to go, come on.
..Flintoff was getting his eye in.
Get round. Get round.
Oh, nice, Fred.
And that meant this race was now all about the battle for third.
Gaining on Paddy's tail here.
Oh, he'll be feeling it now.
Oh, Paddy, I'm going to make you make a mistake here.
Whoa! Smokey Joe!
Power, power, power, power, power.
Come on, old girl!
Come on!
Victory!
Get out, get out, get out.
Let's go.
Keep going. Come on, Fred.
Here we go.
Woo!
Chequered flag, over we go.
He got me.
So, there we have it, our first taste of Thai pick-up racing.
And given our usual track record with this sort of thing,
we had to chalk it up as a surprise success.
Number one?
Well done, Christopher.
But I am absolutely... Well done. ..rooted.
I don't advise racing in the tropics.
Hey. Thanks, Pete. Thank you. Well done, lads. Well done.
You were wicked. I tell you what... Thanks for letting us loose.
..these... We love 'em. I have a new-found respect for the D-Max.
Yeah, amazing. Fantastic. Is it the power?
The power is amazing. The brakes are not amazing.
The brakes are either all on or nothing.
But the real winner is the circuit.
The circuit is the best.
Amazing. Fantastic.
It was time to get back on the road north
and see what else we could pick up about Thailand
as we headed towards Bangkok.
Dear God, have a look at this.
That has got to be so heavy.
The chassis is bowing in the middle and there's two lads sitting on top.
It's bent that much he can't even shut his driver's door properly.
In my many years of travelling the globe,
that is the ropiest thing I've seen car-wise.
Look at the vista, lads.
Welcome to Bangkok.
You must have been there before, Chris.
Did you not have a gap year when you was at uni?
I might have had a gap year. Did you?
Did you spend it in Thailand?
No, I did not.
I went to Africa to teach, actually, Andrew.
POSH ACCENT: I went and found myself.
I-I just went over. It was AMAZING.
What did you do, rob shops?
HE CHUCKLES
Lads, now we're in our first bit of traffic,
coming into the heart of the city,
last night I was doing a bit of research on the old Internet,
Googling Bangkok,
and I've found us a very, very interesting
back street venue.
Remember, delete history, Patrick.
No need for that.
Because what I'd actually found was pick-up paradise.
What've we got here, Pad?
D-Max nirvana.
This is the Mecca for all things pick-up.
Oh!
Fellow D-Maxer there.
Look at these D-Max, lads.
Look at this!
I think they've even got you covered here, Paddy, with graphics.
Look at that one.
How many turbochargers?
That one's got two massive blowers on it.
Look at this, it goes all the way around here.
It carries on going. There's everything.
I'll tell you what, this makes me feel a bit wistful for my past,
for the max power years.
When I was younger, I couldn't leave stuff alone.
If I bought a car, I had to add the bits -
the fancy Hi-Fi, the rims, the lowering kit.
It's just... It's a... It's a rite of passage, isn't it?
You want to just add things.
Got to say, Pad, when I saw your pick-up,
I thought, "That's a bit much, that."
However, I get it now. I get it.
Good Lord, I could waste days here.
But the market was only the warm up.
And just around the corner,
we found some of Thailand's proper max power petrolheads.
Wowsers.
Check out the metal here.
Look at that Lotus.
Wow!
Look at these.
That might be the fastest Jazz I've ever seen in my life.
Turns out Bangkok isn't just mad for mods, though.
This is mega!
They also love a bit of drifting.
Oh!
Yes!
Look at this behind. Look at this.
Now, this was what we'd come to see.
Another corner of the world completely mad for tuning
and tyre smoke.
Fantastic.
To get the full Thai drift experience, though...
Come on, then, McGuinness.
..we nominated our D-Max correspondent
to go along for the ride.
He's going to love this.
Here we go.
I'm Christy.
Hi, Christy. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Er, where are we?
Sorry, there's no belt for you.
THUD Oops! Oh, my God.
Yep, no belts,
lots of exposed metal.
ENGINE REVS Kids,
do NOT try this at home.
PADDY SCREAMS
Whoa!
Ha-ha!
HE SCREAMS
Oh, my God!
Nicely done.
SHE LAUGHS
Right.
I'm going to find a little spot to...lie down and have a cry.
SHE LAUGHS Is he OK?
Oh.
Wowsers.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Did you enjoy it?
So, Pad, how did you enjoy your first experience
of the Zed drift scene?
Well, schoolboy error,
I had a Thai green curry before I got in the car
and I just felt extremely queasy.
Everything was spinning, hot sweats.
But I wasn't on my own... No, you weren't, Pads.
As the day went on, I was getting rougher and rougher.
Did you have the curry, as well?
Oh, no, worse than that, I got Covid.
Oh! Again. Again. CROWD GROANS
I spent the rest of the trip holed up in a hotel room,
sweating and shivering, browsing the web.
I bet you did.
LAUGHING
Well, there's plenty more of Thailand still to see,
and we'll get back to it later on in the show.
But first, there's a shiny new electric supercar on the scene,
and we told Chris Harris to pop on his rubber wellies
and go check it out.
Here it is.
It's called the Nevera.
It's powered by electricity.
And it doesn't come from Italy,
or Germany,
or Britain,
or Japan,
or even America.
No, the Nevera comes...
..from Croatia.
Now, Croatia.
Lovely place, cracking seafood scene,
but not one with any history of building fast cars
or any history of building any cars.
But this Nevera could be the car to put Croatia on the car map
because it's built by a company called Rimac.
Rimac's barely a decade old,
but it's already worked its electric wizardry
for the likes of Porsche, Aston Martin,
Ferrari and Koenigsegg.
Last year, it took control of Bugatti.
In short, Rimac means business.
And with the Nevera, it's very much going it alone.
See, normally if you're a start up carmaker,
you buy all your bits off the shelf.
You get your headlights from Ford, steering wheel from Volvo,
engine from GM,
and then you wrap it all in some fancy new bodywork.
But Rimac hasn't done that.
The Nevera is built completely from scratch.
The only bits this car shares with any other on the planet
are the tyres and a few bits of the aircon.
Everything else - battery, motors, software,
single piece carbon fibre chassis - is bespoke.
As business plans go, that's like opening your own pizzeria
and decided that instead of buying in any ingredients,
you'll grow your own wheat, your tomatoes,
your pineapple, your buffalo.
I mean, it's a ruinously stupid idea, and it's why no-one does it.
But somehow Rimac has made it work.
And more remarkable still...
..they've actually made it rather well.
It's comfy in here.
I mean, the seat's pretty good,
everything's covered in expensive materials,
I can see out of the thing perfectly well.
I mean, I wouldn't call it a luxury motorcar,
but it's beautifully built.
And it's practical-ish.
I mean, it's fitted with the largest battery of any electric vehicle,
so it'll do 300 miles on a single charge.
As products from companies you've never heard of go,
it's all very convincing.
How much they want you to pay for it, on the other hand,
might take a little more convincing.
Because this upstart costs -
wait for it -
£2 million.
Now, that's not Ferrari money,
that's not even Lamborghini money,
that's Bugatti money.
It's private jet money.
That's... That's punchy.
Luckily, the Nevera does have a little trick up its sleeve
that might go some way to justifying its enormous price tag.
A little trick that requires a rather long runway to demonstrate.
Now, I probably should have mentioned this earlier,
but even by conventional supercar standards, the Nevera is...
It's quite powerful.
You see, it's got one electric motor for each wheel,
combined power output just under 2,000 horsepower.
That is a lot.
So, what does it feel like?
Oh, my Lord.
That's 100.
130.
150.
170.
This is ridiculous.
190.
That's 200. She's still pulling.
That's 211, 212.
Right, that is absolutely mind scramblingly fast.
Good Lord!
That's not driving, that's an out-of-body experience.
In fact, the Nevera accelerates to 60mph in under 2 seconds.
And whereas electric cars up to now have always run out of puff
the further north of 100 they go,
this car is limited to 219.
Now, what we need here is a bit of context.
To my left, we have a Lamborghini Aventador SVJ.
ENGINE REVS
By any standards,
a very, very fast car.
Watch what happens now.
LAMBORGHINI ENGINE REVS
Three, two, one, go!
Bye-bye.
Just disappearing.
I can't begin to describe...
He's not even there, he's gone.
I can barely see him in my mirror.
Over the line.
That spec in the mirror that I can hardly see
is one of the fastest Lamborghinis ever made.
It's not... It's not a beating, it's a mauling.
Tell you what, the old guard better get ready for it,
cos this is... This is all new for me.
It's all new for everyone.
The remarkable thing about the Nevera
isn't that it's the fastest accelerating road car ever built,
it's the sheer scale of the leap in performances made.
Round two.
Let's give the Aventador a better chance this time.
It's 300 metres up the runway
and we're going to run over a standing mile.
Watch this.
ENGINE REVS
Three, two, one, go!
Here we go.
It can't do it, can it?
How can it possibly catch that Lamborghini?
We're catching it.
I can't believe this.
It's absolutely absurd.
Oh, my Lord.
HE LAUGHS
That's outrageous!
I'm doing 218, 219mph.
Wow!
And it doesn't stop there.
In case all that straight line fun wears off,
Rimac says they've been to town on the handling, too.
Each wheel's motor is independently controlled,
so the way the Nevera drives can be transformed
at the flick of a switch.
A switch that includes...
..drift mode.
TYRES SCREECH
Dear me!
Mate! This is a drift beast like I've never been in before.
TYRES SCREECH
It's so easy.
It's just wind the lock on,
bit of throttle.
Whoa-ho-ho!
Oh, they're clever.
They're clever. And it's fun.
It's fun and it's silly.
This car slides.
It feels fantastic when it's moving around.
I know it doesn't have the noise,
but when you've got this performance,
I'm starting to wonder if you care.
Of course, we have seen this sort of digital drifting before.
In recent years, it's become pretty much the standard party mode
for performance cars all over the market.
But this being Rimac,
in the Nevera there's also an afterparty.
Four-wheel drive,
no traction control,
all wheels spinning.
Here we go.
TYRES SCREECH
Good God.
What is going on in this car?
We just did a tyre in one skid.
That's just ridiculous.
Mr Rimac, you are my kind of lunatic.
Yes, you are!
I don't quite know what to say about that.
Wow.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Mind blown.
Mind blown. That is absolutely bonkers.
It went past that Lambo like it was standing still.
It's extraordinary. It's not like anything I've ever driven before.
It's that fast.
The day after I drove it, I actually felt a bit queasy.
I don't know whether that's the high voltage cables
or whether my kidneys are bruised.
I mean, it's crazy. So you're saying your innards have been Rimac'd?
Not a nice sounding phrase, but that's correct.
THEY LAUGH
And these lads are now in charge of Bugatti?
Yeah, they are. It's very businessy.
They were bought by Porsche, who've now put them in charge of Bugatti.
I mean, the whole world's been changed upside down
in a matter of years.
So is that it, electric's won?
Should all petrol supercars just give up now?
It's not as simple as that.
They need to give up on the acceleration and speed race
because these things are so fast, there's no catching up.
Petrol needs to trade on emotion now.
Gear changes, sound, go lightweight,
but don't try and out-accelerate this monster cos you will lose.
Well, with that in mind,
when are we going to get it on the track?
Slight problem. It's so fast, we've got to update the software
on The Stig because he can't deal with it just yet,
but hopefully next year.
OK, watch this space.
But now it's time to get back to Thailand,
where Fred was properly in a bad way - coughing, shivering, the lot.
So Chris and I did what any true mates would do.
Left him to it and enjoyed the rest of our trip!
CROWD CHEERS
LAUGHING
With Flintoff left behind in Bangkok,
me and Harris had pointed our pick-ups north.
Our mission now was to haul a much-needed cargo
to a remote hill village near the border with Laos.
Nice to have been given something useful to do.
Plus, hauling for free meant we'd had to start doing things
the local way.
I've got to be honest, I'm happy with the extra weight in the back.
It just gives the car a bit more stability.
And whereas when we first saw something overloaded coming past us,
we sort of whooped with joy, they're probably going,
"Amateur. We could get another bale on that."
I know, it's bonkers, isn't it?
It was bonkers, particularly given two important points.
I've got one thing on my mind, though, Pad -
I've never seen so much fresh grass, so why are we carrying grass?
I've seen quite a few cows knocking about,
maybe we're taking them a bit to feed.
Do cows eat hay or is that horses?
They do eat hay, yes.
I reckon we're going feeding a load of cows.
Whatever the bales were actually for, though,
as the miles ticked up, the second, more pressing issue
was that the scenery was getting bigger.
You look to your left,
you've just got a tree-and-foliage-covered mountain
with a vast amount of weather coming off it.
Look at the moisture coming off these hills.
Can you say "look at the moisture coming off these hills" again
but a little bit slower?
This is ominous. We're climbing up a hill.
Yeah, it's starting to get tarmac-y now.
I've got a funny feeling this is more D-Max country.
Oh, this is what the D-Max loves.
Ooh-oh.
Oh, this looks like it's too much for me.
Come on, then, little fella.
CAR CLATTERS
It's sounding good, this.
Oh, my Lord.
Oh, God.
The D-Max absolutely loves this terrain.
Power, power, power.
Power, power, power!
Come on, old girl.
This is where the two-wheel drive has been found out, Chris.
She's struggling now. This is like live Jenga.
Oh, your load's looking a little bit wobbly, there, Chris.
Stop! You've lost a bale.
You've lost a bale, son.
Come back.
I can't lose a bale.
Keep coming. How far back can I come?
Keep coming. That'll do you.
Shall we just lob it up?
You ready? One, two, three.
Well, it sort of worked.
Back on the move, though, our oversized and badly lashed cargo
was quickly becoming the least of Harris's concerns.
I've got an issue - my air con's gone
and also I've lost the front window,
so I'm just sitting, literally, in an oven now.
Sitrep on the D-Max.
Everything's fine.
Aircon's blowing a bit extreme, though. Bit chilly in here.
3 Series with a black vinyl interior in this heat is a hot place to be.
I can't deal with this.
This heat is just absurd.
And so my slow coupe colleague set about redesigning the ventilation
on his Beemer.
What are you doing?
I've broken the door but not the window.
What are you doing?
Just trying to deal with my ventilation issues at the moment.
I'm just going to have a minute to contemplate it
if you don't mind, Pad.
So, the place to contemplate it is on a steep gradient
on a gravel track?
Oh, my God. What are you doing?
I've got to get rid of that glass. I can't breathe.
What?
Great work.
Ha-ha, ha!
I feel like this is a job for a man from Bolton.
Watch yourself, son.
Thank you, Pad. There you go.
Lovely.
Would you like me to give you a little nudge?
This is going to hurt, isn't it?
ENGINE REVS
Oh.
There she goes. There she goes.
Go on. Go on, the D-Max!
That low range is doing the business!
Right up your chuff.
One of the biggest problems with the D-Max, Chris,
when you're driving it is your fingers get cold.
It's so... It's like driving a fridge, this thing.
This isn't aimed at you, dear viewer,
this is aimed at Paddy McGuinness.
Rude.
After all, the D-Max had got us both up to the top of the hill
and our destination was now just around the corner.
Where are we going now? Oh, look at this.
Look at this!
This has got to be the place. That's a surprise, isn't it?
Look at this, McGuinness, a beautiful little village.
Hang on.
You're taking the bunting.
Chris.
You've got a man on the side of your car, Chris.
Chris, you've got a man on the side of your car. Have I?
LAUGHING: He just drove off. He's on the side of your car.
Is he still holding on to it? I can't see anything.
Slightly embarrassing arrival notwithstanding,
we had two flatbeds full of bales,
which, as the villagers set about unloading...
Hello.
..we would soon discover were definitely not for feeding the cows.
Now...
..it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out - there's the hay bales...
Yeah.
..that looks like a finish line.
So it's a racetrack.
Yep.
And what they race around here are these.
Known as Formula Hmong,
this traditional Thai downhill event is about as grassroots
as motorsport gets.
The braking is rudimentary,
the steering is done by foot,
the only fuel is gravity,
and the machines themselves are, let's say, sustainably sourced.
And as a thank you for safely delivering
their plant-based barriers,
they were kind enough to let us have a go.
You know what? I love his safety gear.
White pumps, trackie pants. He's got some elbow protection on.
That lad there's got a spoiler so he can alter his downforce.
And he's got a pair of wellies on. He's got welly boots on.
Gentlemen, start your...legs.
OK...
Oh, no, they're gone. They're gone.
Not a lot of suspension, is there? We'd be off there.
Yeah, we're not going as fast as that.
Oh, he's off!
APPLAUSE
Dear me.
Dear me!
And then it was our turn.
You're welcome to this win, by the way, McGuinness. Er...
The feeling is reciprocated.
Formula Hmong.
Good luck, brother. Good luck.
Come on, then, you horrible wooden bastard.
PADDY LAUGHS
Ready? Yeah. OK.
I've got him! I've got him straight away!
That's a jump start for Guinness.
Oh, where's the bloody brakes?
He's getting away from me. How's he so quick?
I can't steer it.
Whoa! My word!
Whoa!
Oh, my God.
I'm catching him. I'm definitely catching him.
Where's Harris? Is he on my shoulder? Where is he?
I can't see him.
I've got absolutely no control over this thing.
Oh, no.
Oh, whoa.
APPLAUSE
Where is he?
Oh...
That was a shunt.
Oh... You all right?
My hand really hurts.
That's going to smart in the morning, that is.
So, with Harris's career in Formula Hmong ending as quickly
as it started, it turned out the winner would now have the honour
of running the course again.
This time, against one of the local pros.
Nice to meet you. I saw you oiling your wheels up.
I'm not that big of a threat.
You don't need that. Trust me.
Here we go.
Ooh-hoo.
OFFICIAL READIES THEM
OK? OK.
OFFICIAL COUNTS THEM DOWN
We're off!
I'm taking him!
I've taken him! I've got it!
I've got it!
Oh, no, no, no. He's here. He's here.
Aah! He's gone past me!
He is flying. I can't catch him!
Come on, Pad.
Come on. Come on, McGuinness. Come on!
I can hear something.
I can see the line. I can see a line.
I'm going for it! I'm going for it!
I can hear him now. I can hear him now.
I'm going for it! Nearly there!
I've got him! I've got him! Oh, no!
Jesus!
Mate, are you all right?
Oh, my God!
What are you doing?! I nearly had him.
Come on! I nearly had him.
Get over the line.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Fantastic.
Chalking up Formula Hmong, then, as one of our more painful
motorsport failures...
Aah! Oh, sorry. PADDY LAUGHS
..we left the winner with a parting gift of
lightly soiled body armour...
Thank you. Thank you.
CHEERING
..and then it was time to return to our pick-ups.
Because, having now proven their Thai readiness to the local village,
while we've been busy getting battered and bruised,
they'd been tasked with one last job.
That job would take us to the next hilltop where a new temple
was under construction.
Its exterior is covered in thousands upon thousands of tiles.
And so, to help complete it, that was the cargo we'd bring.
Loaded up with a muddy road ahead, setting out to be useful once more.
The pick-up.
I know we've tried to joke around them, but these things are the
workforce of humanity, aren't they?
There's something about an honest pick-up.
When you see one on the road, you know, ultimately, it's helping
someone somewhere, or giving someone something.
It just makes you feel good about yourself.
And I'm telling you now, I know we're in the jungles of Thailand,
but no matter where I'd be dropped in the world, I'd pick the D-Max.
It has served you well.
And it's actually served me pretty well as well.
By the word, I can see the temple 'pon the hill.
Come on. We're nearly there.
So are we awarding that victory to the D-Max,
given that I turned up in a saloon car and hacked the back off it
and Flintoff is still in isolation?
I think so.
My word.
Wow!
This is mega, Chris.
I'm going to have a soppy moment and say this is quite special.
Wow.
That is something else.
Look at that. They climb up there and tile that?
It's amazing.
Cor. So each of those goes... On that roof.
Right, which is your hood hand? Left.
You got it? Yeah. You sure? Yeah, let's go.
Right, up we go.
Wow!
What a place.
Amazing.
These are stunning.
Wow.
That is a big, big statue.
Look at the size of that guy there. I know.
Look at the size of him!
You can't take it all in. You look up - it's so much.
It is massive.
He's waiting. It looks like he's waiting for us.
Pop them down there.
Pop them down.
Sawadee kraap.
Apparently we need another 600,000 of them.
600,000? 600,000.
Where's Flintoff when you need him?
Flintoff!
Back down to the pick-up.
Thank you, Thailand.
Tile-land.
Kicking myself for not coming up with that one.
How's your body. Broken.
Good. Good, good, good.
STUDIO AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS
Beautiful. Beautiful country.
Beautiful. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
What a place that temple was and what a pleasure to help out.
And Fred, I'm gutted you weren't there, pal,
because he'd have been handy carrying them tiles up them steps,
wouldn't he? Oh, cheers, thanks. Yeah.
Thanks, Pad, but I am upset, too.
Firstly because my Hilux would have smashed your two up the hill. Oh.
Oh, come on, the Hilux. Yeah?
And secondly, Formula Hmong. Oof.
That's my type of motorsport.
Just falling. Yeah!
Gravity is your specialist subject, to be fair.
Exactly, I'd have wiped the floor with you two. Yeah.
We did a pretty good job of that ourselves, actually, Fred. Yeah, we certainly did. We certainly did.
Great trip, though, and an amazing country.
Thailand, thanks for having us.
Well, that's it for tonight, but we're back next week as we head
to Paris in some tiny cars,
and Germany in some very fast supercars.
See you then. Thanks for watching. Goodnight.