## OP / ED ##
## SIGNS ##
## SCRIPT ##
The Hero Yoshihiko and The Demon King's Castle starts right now!
Another pawn of the Demon King!
'sup.
Betcha got some good grub, huh?
I'm pretty hungry, see.
Nothing but egg on rice, three days straight!
Wait, what did you say?
I've been stuck with egg on rice.
But you have been eating, then?
I want all your provisions...
Plus, your gal's pretty cute...
Might put that to use.
Ugh, gross.
... though it's nice to be noticed.
You won't have our rations or Murasaki.
Can't stop me if I kill y'all first.
Rather confident for a lone warrior.
Come at us.
DIE!
Hey woah, wait a minute. Time out.
What are you doing?
Just a sec.
Are you...
What?
Are... are you adjusting yourself?
RIGHT!
The time has come.
DIE!
Wait, wait, wait! Wait! WAIT!
Why are you so worried about where your dick is?
I just... I gotta get it stable.
Gross.
A woman could never understand!
Dick placement is very important.
One single slip of the dick...
... is akin to death itself.
It is not nearly that bad.
It's just...
... slightly uncomfortable, that's all.
Mock my dick decorum, if you wish. We'll see who gets the last laugh.
RIGHT! It's all locked down now!
Now, behold the unbridled terror that is a man with proper dick placement!
DIE!
Wait, no!
Stop!
It's no use!
We don't have time to watch you mess with your dick!
I'm almost done, just a sec.
He seems pretty busy in there. Why not cut him down right now?
Yeah.
Oh no!
That idiot's got Yoshihiko worried about his dick!
What kind of idiot are you?
It's fine, Yoshihiko!
Your dick's just fi--
Oh man, I gotta...
Yoshihiko... give me the Beckoning Sword!
I'll take him down while he's--
Just... mine's just not right, either.
It's like...
Alright...
I've got it locked down at last!
There's Fat J with his humpback letter
Gettin' pretty sick of these posers all around
Get yourself an afro if you wanna make a difference
The whole world needs you now, Funkanizer!
Internet, radio, and television
All pouring out information non-stop
It's just pulling me back and forth
My head's about to explode!
Love it! Love it! Evolution!
Love it! Love it! Revolution!
I want to see my true face in the mirror
I know that some day I'll wither away!
Get it up! Get it up! Haha, baby!
Get it up! Get it up! I can't sit still!
Let's do this with color and style! Hey!
A no-budget action-adventure series
You sure this'll be okay?
The Hero Yoshihiko and
the Demon King's Castle
Three
It's a kojima.
Obviously a play on 'kodama' but for some reason not!
Kojima?
Woodland spirits. They live only in beautiful forests.
The Demon King's reach is spreading.
We've fought over twenty men in the past three days.
I've barely gotten any sleep. My skin must look awful.
We haven't seen a village since we left the last one.
What was that dumb Buddha thinking when he told us to go east?
What is it?
I hear voices.
A village? Is there a village close by?
Huh? Where where where?
He says he'll take us to it.
Well done, Yoshihiko!
Hey, you think I could get my own room this time?
The old man snores like a buzzsaw.
I told you not to call me that!
Keep it up and I'll call you 'beautiful lady'.
Hah! Don't like that, eh?
This is the part where you laugh, Yoshihiko.
He's sleeping. Sleeping on his feet!
Truly, he is a born Hero.
If I had to choose between them?
Let's see...
I'd take a cat.
Sleeptalking, too! Amazing!
Khirana Village
Dogs have no shame, you see.
They think you'll feed them for a little wag of the tail.
And even if you keep them, you have to look after their crap...
SHUT UP! You're both annoying as hell!
Cats, on the other hand...
What?!
Let's go.
What is it? What's going on? Hey!
Didn't I tell you not to walk around at night?
I'm sorry. I was worried about the radishes I planted...
It's not worth throwing your life away for!
What's going on?
He got her.
'He'? A local quarrel?
No...
The cave monster.
Cave monster?
It all started five years ago.
A curious monster came to live in a cave to the west of here.
At night, he comes down to the village and ruins our crops.
... well, it was just the crops...
Before long, he began attacking humans, too.
How far is this cave?
Don't even think about it.
You'd die before you made it that far.
There's hordes of monsters. It's like they're blocking the place off.
Then, let's lure him into town and beat him here.
Impossible.
He's far too powerful for you.
Fool!
We won't know until we try! Right, Yoshihiko?
You sure about this, Yoshihiko?
I am.
You're all tired. You should sleep.
But hey, she slept 13 hours yesterday.
She slept through the whole thing last night, you know?
Sure, I could be lookout, but I'd be no good against that monster.
I'm just a girl, after all.
You bring that up at the most convenient times.
Then you take watch.
Look...
Pigganose and Sweets are my best spells. You think either will work on that monster?
Don't worry. I shall keep a vigilant watch.
Good luck, Yoshihiko.
Thank you.
Ah, it's morning.
Must have been an uneventful night.
Danjo, sir! The fields have all been wrecked!
What?! Impossible!
Yoshihiko!
The monster came by! Why didn't you see it?
It went crazy out there!
If you were here, you must have seen it!
Huh?
He's sleeping... with his eyes open.
Wide open!
I believe I made myself perfectly clear.
If I have to choose, I prefer cats.
Yoshihiko!
Wake up, Yoshihiko!
Yes?
Good, you're awake!
The monster destroyed the fields!
What do you mean?
If you're trying to play a trick on me, it won't w...
Ah...
It's morning.
Last night. The monster. Destroyed all the fields.
That's... disappointing to hear.
And you slept through the whole thing...
What's wrong? Yoshihiko's okay?
No, I'm fine.
You fell asleep, didn't you?
Look at you, you're glowing!
Perhaps... the monster cast a sleep spell.
No, man, you fell asleep.
'Snooze', maybe.
He's citing the actual DQ spell, Rariho.
No, man, he really didn't.
Alright. This time, I'll keep watch.
Just stop it!
If you lure him back here...
He'll just come back and eat the rest of our crops!
Very well.
We will head to the Western Cave and vanquish that monster.
What's going on? The more damage we do, the faster it gets!
So fast!
Ugh, what a creepy dance!
And why is it dancing?
His dance seems to be draining my magical power!
Why am I dancing, too?!
Here we are.
This is where the monster lives, huh?
If you won't go in, I will.
No, don't! He'll eat you up.
But we have to go in.
Just a minute.
What is it?
The truth is, I've learned a new spell.
A true combat spell.
I'm glad to hear it. What is it?
When I cast this spell on Yoshihiko, his attack power will increase...
... by 20%.
Amazing!
Huh? You heard him, right?
Not 200%. 20%.
I call this spell...
Wimph.
A play on Baikiruto/Oomph
Seems kinda pointless. I think Sweets might be more useful.
Wimph!
See? No change. I think he got weaker, if anything.
You're amazing, Melub!
Fight, Yoshihiko!
Oh man, you hear that roar? This is NOT gonna happen!
We are in SERIOUS trouble right now!
Let's just come back later, okay?
Get some better equipment or something first!
There's no need to fear! Justice always triumphs.
Sometimes it doesn't, man!
That's a hero for you.
Not even the monster's mighty roar can faze him.
Let's go.
His knees are buckling! He can't even walk!
He can't even walk, man!
He's like a baby deer.
Very well.
I know just what to do.
Of course! Lead us, veteran Danjo!
What's the idea? Tell us, already!
We leave!
Why so much buildup to that stupid, cowardly plan?!
Listen to me. That monster is probably huge! Scary!
We must not throw our lives away before we face the Demon King!
I dunno if we can defeat the Demon King if this guy's enough to scare us off.
In that case... we'll all go home.
B-but Danjo...
Sometimes, Yoshihiko, a man must look the other way.
Oh no! I think it's getting closer!
Uh-oh! Oh man! It's here!
Get back, everyone! I will face him!
Yes! A mighty blow!
Now go to sleep, you stupid monster!
What?! The Beckoning Sword had no effect!
He's not asleep at all!
One more time! Take this!
What's going on?! The Beckoning Sword has no effect!
Sweets!
I can't tell if he's craving sweets or not!
It's no use! We have to get out of here!
We failed in our promise. I'm sorry.
Ain't he got a weak point or something?
Kind travelers. We are grateful for your concern. However...
You must not throw your lives away for us.
This village is ours to fight for.
... and to abandon, if we must.
There's a story I've heard.
On the Eastern Mount, there's a man who can forge an undaunted blade.
But the sword is no ordinary...
Stop it, dear!
Please go home. Leave our village to its fate.
Why do we hafta keep doing this junk?
They gave us an out. We shoulda taken it.
No... those villagers will never find peace as long as that monster lives.
The Buddha's gonna be pissed we're takin' more sidequests.
He can take it up with me.
The monsters on the Eastern Mount are much more powerful!
Plus, they seriously reek!
Of course they do! They're zombies!
Yoshihiko! Get him! Cut him down!
Why?
We'll get a big reward!
It got away.
Excuse me, sir.
Are you the one who forges the undaunted blade?
'Undaunted' is a bit of an exaggeration.
There's no blade that can truly defeat any enemy.
We just want to defeat the monster in the Western Cave.
Oh! Him!
I beg you. We need that sword.
Hey. Hey, dude.
He's pissed. Just give it up. Back off, man!
Very well.
Never mind!
But I warn you: the sword is no ordinary sword.
To forge the sword, I must infuse it with the soul of a warrior.
Infuse it with a soul?
Without his soul, what does a man become?
You'll see the true face he keeps buried deep below the surface.
If that face is a warrior's face, you have no need to hesitate.
I am a Hero to my core.
Even without my soul, I will always continue to fight.
Oh, my.
That sounds promising.
If you insist, I will take your soul and forge it into the sword.
You believe that you will fight, even then?
Yes.
My name is Gantesai.
I will forge the sword that will slay your monster.
I cannot allow this!
Gantesai. Yoshihiko's soul is the cornerstone of our party.
I can't let you take it.
You said any soul will do, as long as the man is a true warrior?
That's right...
Right. In that case...
Use my soul.
As you can see, I'm a veteran fighter.
Even without my soul, I'll remain a warrior through and through!
Danjo, are you sure?
It's fine, Yoshihiko.
We can't let anything happen to you.
I have far more EXP, anyway.
No matter what happens, I'll be the same man.
Danjo...
Very well... let's begin.
Place my soul inside that sword!
As you wish.
Let the soul of the warrior Danjo reside within this sword!
Danjo!
Wake up! Danjo!
Danjo!
This will not do!
Oh, it simply won't do!
I could never fight such a frightful beast!
I don't intend to set foot in that awful cave again.
Oh, he's a prissy pants.
Actually 'okama.' Generally this means gay or transgendered, but can potentially also just refer to a man with a feminine way of speaking and acting. Given that his actual sexual preference is not brought up, I'd personally just rather not go there. If you feel it hurts the humor, though, you may wish to change it.
You're saying this is Danjo's true face?
Precisely!
It can't be true.
I'm simply done with all of it!
The old guy's pretty girly.
Don't call me old man!
Is this why he doesn't like being called that?
It's no use. He can't fight like this.
Please, Gantesai. Return his soul to him.
Fine.
Return the warrior Danjo's soul to his body!
Are you alright, Danjo?
I am fine.
Have you taken my soul? Have you finished the sword?
We did... but we had to give it back.
Why?!
Even without my soul, I should remain a warrior!
Well, yes.
Actually, I'd say your true face was the sort of thing
every warrior needs, deep down.
What do you mean? Then what went wrong?
I don't think you want to know.
We have no choice.
You may take my soul.
I can't allow that. Let me do it.
Oh, it's fine. Bet he's the same, soul or no soul.
I agree.
That's harsh, you guys.
Are you certain, Melub?
If it lets us defeat that monster, my soul is a small price to pay.
Melub... thank you.
You are prepared, then?
Yes.
Let the soul of the wizard Melub reside within this sword!
Melub. Hey.
Melub. Wake up!
Melub! Wake up!
{I think he's providing BGM here}Dananananana danananana...
Danananana, bam bam bam!
Bam bam bam! Wahhhhh!
Get moving! Get moving! {The phrases he's using are traditional phrases for sumo. He's playing out a sumo match.}
He's still in! He's still in!
Wahhh... BAM!
It's no use. He's just a dumbass.
The winner! The winner!
I won! I won!
A dumbass beyond all reckoning.
He can't fight in this condition.
Thank you, thank you!
Return his soul, quickly!
Do you hear me?
Return Melub's soul to him!
Melub...
Melub!
Let's head for the fight.
We had to give it back again.
Huh?! Was it seriously bad?
You were a dumbass.
A dumbass? Howso?
Just a complete and utter dumbass.
None of you are suitable.
It seems we'll have to rely on the soul of the true Hero.
It does appear so.
I don't know what happened. I'm sorry, Yoshihiko.
Yeah, sorry I'm a dumbass.
Any man on a mission from the Buddha must be a Hero through and through.
That will should remain in you, no matter what!
Do it, then.
Show us the will of a true Hero!
Yoshihiko. Show us how amazing you can be.
Let us begin!
Let the soul of the Hero Yoshihiko reside within this sword!
Yoshihiko!
He's still a Hero!
I wanna peep on girls in the bath!
I wanna touch their little pink asses!
Just a little slap on the pretty pink ass, woo!
He's just a big pervert!
Underneath that gallant exterior...
It's so gross, make him stop!
I can't take it... the whole dance is revolting!
I've had enough! Return his soul!
You're really an ass-man, Yoshihiko?
You don't care about breasts, even a little?!
No one cares!
We'll have to return his soul.
Give it back! Give it back!
Very well. Return!
Yoshihiko... Yoshihiko!
Did you create the Soulsword?
No... we couldn't do it.
I see. Then I too am weak, deep down...
I wouldn't say 'weak', exactly...
Don't try to spare my feelings.
Deep down, I am a weak and cowardly man.
Not that exactly, just...
Kinda p... uh, kinda l... yeah, weak and cowardly, sure.
So, what shall we do?
What can we do?
You still have one member left.
Oh my!
I simply do not know if it is safe!
She's so cute...
So cute...
If anybody get huwt, Muwasaki just might cwy.
I think I like her better without her soul.
But we can't just wun away, wight?
Wet's go, evewyone!
So cute!
Well, then... let's go.
Right.
Feel the power of the Soulsword!
We did it!
Muwasaki so happy!
Mewub happy, too!
We just don't know how to thank you.
We'll never forget you.
They offered us rice, why didn't we take it?
This is no time to play big shots.
We got the cranky Murasaki back.
I never thought that after we beat the monster,
the sword would rot away and her soul would go back to her.
I really did prefer her the other way.
What are you talking about?
If you're all gonna be like that, I'll just... avenge my father!
Don't avenge your father just because you're annoyed!
Yoshihiko!
Aw man, Buddha's gonna chew us out.
The glasses, please, Melub.
Right.
Oh come on, quit it with the glasses already.
I can see you, Lord Buddha!
You guys are taking side quests again!
It's not a side quest, it's a bonus quest.
Wait, what? Side quest, bonus quest...?
Wait a minute...
You say side, I say bonus
Let's call the whole thing off
They're the same thing!
Side quests and bonus quests are the same thing!
The same thing! ... But enough of that. Anyway.
I've come to give you some really important information!
Tell us what you will, Lord Buddha.
Right. Let's see...
This week, you will notice that there are even more monsters out there.
This is actually the Demon King's doing.
We know already!
Don't you cut me off!
Let me finish a sentence!
This is serious business, guys!
The Buddha is angry with us.
I see that little smile, you jerk.
Look, guys, I'm serious. Don't mock the Buddha.
I'm warning you guys, seriously.
Seriously, if you guys take another side quest, I'm gonna be really...
Well, you are NOT gonna like it.
Seriously. It won't be good times, okay?
You'll see. Bye-bye!
Is that guy really the Buddha?
He seems to want us to defeat the Demon King more quickly.
It does appear that way.
But right now, I'm not sure I'm strong enough.
Don't despair, Yoshihiko. There's no turning back now.
Brother... I never knew you were so perverted.
What're you lookin' at, Hisa?
This way.
I want to find you waiting for me
On the day, at the place we agreed upon
It's not much of a song, but I wrote it for you
And I'll play it for you now
Because I'm still in love with you
Because I still have things to say to you
In hope that my song might reach you
I'll keep singing it into the wind
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people or organizations is coincidental.
Look at that!
A kappa!
A battle of wits over a robe...
Yoshihiko! Obtain the Angel's Robe!
The legendary weapon to defeat the kappa...
We need to find it.
... Section Chief Shima Kosaku.
Lit. Kacho Kosaka Shima, a business manga character known for his suave cool and ability to bed the ladies. http://www.economist.com/node/11880350
This is where Heroes keep their daggers!
Take it off. Just take it off!
Shut the hell up!
Chicks, man.