Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
Ah!
- Jews aren't keen on dogs.
Dogs bite you or chase you.
Jews have been barked at for so long, they prefer cats.
Well, at least that's what my master says.
My master,
is Rabbi Sfar. I don't have a name.
Throughout Algiers, I'm known as the rabbi's cat.
- Mmm
Zlabya!
- Zlabya is my mistress.
- Daughter!
- Her name is like a honeyed pastry.
- As a girl, she'd always come running to greet me!
Zlabya!
- Zlabya,
I love you!
Zlabya, I love you!
- What's it saying?
- She wanted him to say, "Knidelette I love you".
- My name's too sophisticated.
It's hard for a bird to say. You see, Rabbi?
Zlabya is more common.
- Even boys don't say, "Knidelette, I love you"
- Oh, yeah? And are they queuing up at your door?
- Without Dad, there'd be a riot to see me.
- What's this talk in a rabbi's house?
- I mean, I'm lucky Dad watches over me.
- And my cat.
- Knidelette, don't you have chores?
- No.
- That's a polite way of saying, "Leave us in peace".
- Ok, I get it.
- See you tomorrow.
- That's right. See you tomorrow.
- I love you, Zlabya! I love you!
- You dear little cat.
That parrot annoys you, doesn't he?
- You love that cat more than your dad!
In a fire, who would you prefer to save:
the cat or your old father?
- Dad! Stop the emotional blackmail.
Mmm
- Do your piano practice. - Yes, Dad.
- Make sure I can hear.
- Yes, Daddy dear.
- Zlabya!
I love you, Zlabya.
- What a pain in the neck!
- Zlabya! Zlabya.
Zlabya.
- My parrot!
Did you just eat my parrot?
- No.
- What? - Wasn't me.
- So where is it?
- Humph!
- Dad, what's wrong?
- I must be tired. I heard the cat speak!
- You work too hard.
- I didn't eat the parrot.
- What did he say? - A lie!
He kills, he lies,
this animal's the Sheitan.
- Dad, the cat can talk!
- Spare me the song and dance.
- My cat! It's a miracle!
- Keep away, this animal may be dangerous.
- I've always served you. Why be wary of me now I can talk?
- Because your first words are a lie!
- I didn't eat it! I wasn't hungry.
- You Cain! You're lying to cover up a murder!
- You can't condemn a cat for eating a bird.
Will you put him in prison?
- "Deeply alarmed by Julien's appearance,
"Madame de Renal soon fell prey to merciless dread.
"My God, being happy,
"being loved, is this all it is?"
- What's that?
- Stendhal. - "Scarlet and Black".
- The cat's reading?
Since when can you read?
- I learnt with your daughter. But before I only mewed.
- "Scarlet and Black", is it a political book?
The cat gave you this propaganda?
- What propaganda?
- No, master, it's a love story.
- Even better... Give me that.
I forbid you to see this cat without me around!
- But he's my cat!
- At your age, watch who you spend time with.
I forbid you to spend time
with just anyone.
- The rabbi's scared I'll give his daughter
bad ideas.
So he keeps me with him. I'm bored!
- What's this? - The Talmud.
- lnteresting?
- It explains how to be a good Jew.
For example: "lying is very bad."
- Should I feel concerned? - Why not?
- I'm just a cat.
I don't know if I'm Jewish or not.
- You are, like your masters! - I'm not circumcised!
- Ah... We don't circumcise cats.
- No bar mitzvah.
- You have to be over 13 for that.
- I'm 7. That's 49 in cat years. I'm almost your age!
If I'm a Jewish cat, I have to do my bar mitzvah!
Why do we need to see your rabbi?
- Because you're driving me mad!
The problem you've raised is obsessing me.
- Argh!
But...
- Don't leave me here.
He beats his students.
- Shut up.
- No, no, no!
I don't care if he talks. He's not doing his bar mitzvah!
- May I ask why?
- Bar mitzvahs aren't for cats.
- Master of my master, how do humans and cats differ?
- God made man in his image.
- In that case, can you show me an image of God?
- lmpossible.
God is a word.
- So if man is like God because he can talk, I'm like man.
- No, your words are bad
gained through a deed of death.
- I didn't eat the parrot.
- You're a liar too?
- Words let you say anything.
Even untruths. It's wonderful. Try it.
- Want my advice, Abraham?
Drown your cat!
- You think so? But I'm fond of him.
And he hates water.
- Who are you, who wants to kill me?
I am the Lord your God, disguised as a cat
to test you.
I am God and I am displeased with your conduct!
You have been as hard on me
as some Christians are on Jews!
- Lord God!
Forgive me for I have sinned.
I'm guilty.
- You are guilty but I was kidding. I'm a cat. Get up!
- Blasphemer!
You lie? You usurp God's name?
We should drown you!
- Oh...
- I want to do my barmitzvah. I want to convert to Judaism
- Why?
- If I'm a good Jew, the rabbi will let me see his daughter.
I can't live without her,
because she brings me joy,
and love is beautiful.
- No.
No!
Your reasons for converting to Judaism are bad ones.
Your love of God isn't sincere.
- I never mentioned my love of God.
To become Jewish,
you must fear God,
seek out his protection and cherish Him.
A Jew must see God's presence
in all things.
Thinking of God
brings sunlight to the greyest day.
The love of God
must be almost carnal.
- Oh, la la, la la.
- Loving God is important.
We are always in His arms.
He is strong and we're content.
When he takes care...
- Yes.
I feel exactly the same way about my mistress.
- Animal!
You walk around on four legs!
You can't attain God's love! You only know ignoble love.
- Blasphemy! My mistress is real.
- Only God is real!
- God is a comforting invention.
You're all alone, ancient, and your parents are dead.
I'll never be alone because I'll die before my mistress.
- Be gone!
- Angry with me? - Bad animal.
- I want to see how the truth feels.
- You lie when you shouldn't and use the truth to hurt.
- I hurt too now I speak.
My mistress used to cuddle me.
Oh, Zlabya...
I'd do anything to see her again.
- Shut up, I can tell you're faking it.
- You can never return to Eden.
- We must find another rabbi
who'll let me do my bar mitzvah.
- You fool, no sane rabbi will agree to teach a cat.
- So lets look for a mad rabbi.
- I don't know one. - You then.
- It's a huge responsibility. I don't want to.
- Your daughter could teach me.
Ok, forget it.
The rabbi's daughter weeps for her cat.
Her lovely cat.
- My cat, I want my cat.
- My mistress!
My mistress!
- All right.
You win. I'll teach him about Judaism.
But, for pity's sake, stop crying.
- But, Dad, I'm crying for joy now.
- So my master sat me down
for my first lesson in Judaism.
- Here's how the world began.
The Lord God created the world in seven days, 5,700 years ago.
- I'm not stupid.
- It's true.
- That's absurd! Carbon dating has proved
that the world is billions of years old.
- Maybe Noah's flood made the planet seem
older than it is.
- Even a kitten wouldn't fall for that!
- My master told me so.
- Your wise master!
- Perhaps the years only make sense if men count them.
Maybe the first calendar is 5,700 years old.
- Excellent explanation.
- Now let's talk about Adam and Eve,
father and mother of us all.
- Adam and Eve are a symbol!
- Non, they're real! - What's real are
prehistoric men. - Pretentious.
- What?
- Giving things a scientific name makes you understand?
- This morning, my master had some mail.
He had his breakfast before opening it.
- What are these letters?
- Eh?
-One's from Paris.
- Nothing to worry your little head about.
- He puts them in his pocket to read later.
I think he's enjoying this.
- You come with me.
- Excuse me,
I'm afraid we don't serve Arabs or Jews.
- Oh?
It doesn't say that anywhere.
- Get lost.
- Come on, master.
You were about to beat him up.
- The fountain's good.
Everyone is free to use it.
And there's water, the best drink that God provides.
- I'd prefer a fountain with milk.
Time to open the mail?
- What did the letters say?
- I love knowing things that you don't.
- Tell me. - For a fish.
- Now tell me!
- Now tickle me under the chin, mistress.
- I'll slap you!
Tell me! - Ok.
The letter from Paris is about a test.
- A medical test?
- No, a French language test.
- That's all?
- The other is more interesting.
Cousin Malka is coming to stay.
- Lion Malka?
- Zlabya!
- Yes, Dad? - Lend me some books in French.
- Books? What for?
- To do dictation. So I can become our official rabbi.
- You already are!
- No, I am an ordinary rabbi.
- What's it to do with the French? Why a dictation test?
- To see if I'm qualified.
You expect them to pick just anyone?
- It's insulting for you.
- What do you know? Give me some books.
Stop looking at me like an idiot!
Help out. Dictate to me.
- "Daphnis and Alcimadur".
- What's that? - The title.
- The title of a fable?
- Yes. - Pick another.
- Fine. "The Candle".
- That's all?
Another fable, quick!
- "Jupiter and the Passenger".
"How peril would enrich the gods..."
- "The gods"? - Oui.
- No, that's no good.
Find me a monotheistic fable with normal animals
whose names we know.
- "The Cat, the Weasel and the Little Rabbit"?
- I can find one with kosher animals.
- You prefer kosher animals?
- Argh! Shut up and read.
- Shut up or read? - Read!
- Ok.
"From a young rabbit's dwelling, Lady Weasel..."
- Slow down.
Slow down.
- Lion Malka is coming!
He'll sleep at our house!
- Can we see him?
- Yes, he'll do shows around the city
and read at the synagogue.
- But can we come here to see him?
- No, he'll be resting here.
- I'd make a good wife for him.
- You fool! Lion Malka won't be interested in you.
He only loves desert women.
- "The Raven, ashamed..."
"A-sssh-amed and embarra-ssss-ed...
- Why are you hissing?
- "swore too late this was the last time."
- Ho, ho!
- "the lasssst time."
- There.
I've finished.
- Master, you'll never manage it without me.
- What? I don't write that badly.
- The handwriting is good
but spelling is what matters most.
- I've had an idea.
Let's pray.
- Fine, but I'm going to come along and do the dictation for you.
- How dare you? That's totally dishonest!
- Master, we needn't respect the laws of the mad.
As a rabbi, you pray in Hebrew for Arab-speaking Jews,
and these madmen want you to write in French!
You'll fail without me.
Lets sleep now, master. Hurry.
Before I could speak, I used to have simple dreams.
In them, I'd chase tiny animals.
Bigger animals would chase me and I'd run to get away.
I'd find refuge
in my mistress' loving arms.
Those were a cat's dreams.
Now I can talk, I only have nightmares.
I dream my mistress is sick and can't be cured.
I dream she vanishes,
and they tell me she's away.
I tell everyone she's away,
but thinking of me and will buy me a present.
One day, the rabbi, sick of hearing me say this,
sits me on his knee and tells me the truth.
She is dead. Yes.
Now I can speak,
I often dream my mistress is dead,
and that the rabbi only has me.
Then he rejects religion,
renounces his master, dismisses his disciples.
Even though I don't believe, I have to pretend I do
to cheer him up.
Come on, master...
Come on, master!
Look, God is everywhere.
Even if you can't see Him.
- I know those lines by heart.
- I tell him I want to do my bar mitzvah
to motivate him and make him feel responsible.
- Enough of all this!
Why do you want to be human
when I'd like to be a cat?
- In this dream, we both become cats.
We roam the streets at night.
We root through the butcher's refuse
where meat isn't kosher.
Female cats mew at us,
I grab one by the neck to show him how.
My master won't do it. Not like that.
He's still too human, or too old.
We go to see my mistress.
She isn't at her piano.
She isn't in her kitchen.
She isn't reading.
She's in her grave.
And we can't go there.
- Ah!
- A nightmare, master?
Maybe I had the same one.
- My cat,
I preferred it when you didn't speak.
- So did I.
The test is held in a school.
My master expected to see other rabbis, but no.
There are no other rabbis.
We're the only ones there.
Open up!
Hey! Open up!
- "And, in the morning,
"the baker..."
- He crossed that out!
You're going to fail, master!
Why can I read and write if I can't help?
I speak for a reason after all!
What can I do?
God can't help you now. Or maybe...
Barouch Ata Adonai!
- Sacrilege! - What?
- Don't utter that word! It's God's name.
We only say it to work miracles.
- I only thought it.
- It's a magic word, only used for prayers.
- I don't care. I'll say it anyway.
Adonai.
Now's the time to call God.
Adonai.
My master who loves you and your books is failing his test!
Adonai, Adonai, Adonai, miaou.
Miaou, miaou.
Miaou.
Miaou! - "... hard at work..."
- Miaou.
- "Hard at work..."
- "Last night..."
- "Last... Night..."
- "The baker..."
- Miaou.
- How'd it go?
- Mia-ou. Miaou.
- Speak. No one can hear you. - Miaou!
Miaou? Miaou. - Oh...
Dad!
The cat can't talk anymore!
- You talk to him?
- No! No, but... he mews.
- Let him mew.
- Didn't it go well?
- I don't know. I did my best but it's hopeless.
I've had it.
- My master isn't well.
Nothing interests him now, not even the things
that made him laugh.
For instance, the goats that climb that acacia trees.
He used to say:
"Look, a goat tree. The ripe fruit will fall."
But he doesn't notice them now.
- Mr Sfar!
Mail!
- The test results, maybe.
- From Paris. Must be important!
- Yes, that's it.
- Nothing can spoil this day. Cousin Malka arrives today.
- Ah! Cousin Malka!
He's coming here? - No, I'm going to meet him.
- Where? - At the Cafe Carbodel.
- Are you sure?
- He's mad! He'll get beaten up!
He's singing to himself.
Master, maybe we shouldn't...
No, master.
We can go to the fountain. That's just as good a place to meet.
Hey? Master?
Hey.
Master.
Hey.
But then,
all of a sudden, Cousin Malka appears
with his lion!
Tell them they can't sit here.
- Yes, sir? - Cousin Malka!
Cousin Malka.
You're so handsome!
God bless you! - Can you tell?
- What?
- My moustache. I dyed it.
- Not at all!
You look 20.
I swear on my life, cousin, time has no effect on you.
- Flatterer. - You're handsome anyway.
- I greet the old lion, he understands me.
I can still talk to animals.
Shalom, old chap. - Shalom, kid.
- Don't damage anything.
- And take your boots off for the tiles.
- Don't worry, he won't bite.
- Malka!
- Lion Malka...
Good evening, Mr Malka.
My name's Knidelette, and I'm Zlabya's best friend.
- My respects.
- Delighted.
- What's this crate?
- Books from Russia.
- Ah, that's true.
The Communists destroy prayer books so we house them here.
- It's a good deed! You should be pleased.
- Yes, yes.
- I can't tip you.
- It's silly worrying about that letter. You should contact them.
- It's alright, my daughter.
It'll get here soon enough.
- Share it!
They are good.
Delicious sweetmeats, my girl!
- I made them.
- Using my mother's recipe.
- Malka, go to see Dad, he's out of sorts.
- You're right, I'll go now.
- You're mean!
Is he sick or did you want to get Malka away from me?
- Malka has only ever loved the same woman.
- Really?
She must be ancient then.
- Age doesn't matter.
- You're so naive, Zlabya!
- The rabbi tells Malka about the disastrous test.
- As kids, we'd talk for hours before falling asleep.
And you always had wine stole from aunt Rifka
under the bed.
I knew it!
- Malka. - What?
- I'm going away for a few days
to think.
- Don't mess up.
- I'll visit Messaoud Sfar's tomb.
He always advises me well. I'll return soon.
- Hey, cousin!
What if I kill the postman?
Sometimes, killng one person can sort everything out.
That way, no letter.
- Thank you, but no.
Simply guard the house for me.
- Messaoud Sfar was the rabbi's ancestor.
A doctor and a saint.
My master visits his tomb every year and this time I'm going too.
- Salam aleikoum!
- Shalom aleichem!
- Hi-han! Salam aleikoum.
- Aleikoum salam.
What's your master's name? - Poor fool!
He's sheikh Mohammed Sfar.
- Hold on... an arab called Sfar?
- You ass! Sfar means "yellow" in Arabic.
Like a coppersmith's flowers of sulphur.
We're off to the tomb of Messaoud Sfar, our ancestor.
- So are we!
- Messaoud Sfar was a great sufi, a saint.
- Rubbish! Messaoud Sfar was a rabbi.
- Take that back!
- The animals seem tired.
- Yes, let's rest.
-Adios, mi amor...
- He's a strange donkey.
He can read my music and sing in three languages.
- Incredible.
- No, it's a problem. He sings off key.
Even with the gift of speech, a donkey is a donkey.
- Do we educate everyone?
- Yes. Even donkeys. But without illusions.
- You know what?
We should live like hermits in a cave
with my books and your songs.
- No, Allah would not be pleased.
We'd be like Jonah, preferring things to people.
- So? Can't we say we've served others?
We are old and want peace.
- No.
- Believe me, brother,
I don't want to go home.
- Why not? - I was a rabbi 30 years.
Then, by mail, without a word of comfort,
they write from Paris to say I'm the rabbi of nothing.
- Show me the letter.
- Go ahead, open it.
- You can read unopened letters?
- That one I can.
- You thought God had abandoned you.
And that's a big mistake. Listen.
"Dear Rabbi,
"we inform you that you obtained a mark of
"10.5 in the dictation."
- Oh!
- You did a dictation? - Read, brother!
- "10.5 means you have the required level."
"The Consistory is proud of you
"and hopes other rabbis will follow your lead,
"rather than reject French like asses."
- It says that?
- No, I added the "asses".
- So I'm still a rabbi!
Let me give you a hug!
Let's pray! - Mind my glasses!
- So they prayed,
one facing Jersusalem, the other Mecca. They danced, they sang,
they laughed, drunker than if they'd drunk.
Amidst this euphoria, I felt
it'd be nice to get the power of speech back.
But nothing.
He doesn't complete his pilgrimage
but hurries back to Algiers to tell people the good news.
- My daughter, my cousin, great news!
- Put your back into it! Open the crate!
Just the man. Lend a hand.
- What are you doing? - Inspecting your books.
- They're prayer books!
- Russian ones. - So?
- Do you know Russian Jews?
- They're Jews.
- We'll see about that.
- We can put the books in our synagogue.
They'll look pretty alongside ours.
- Not until I take a look! - Master,
what do you fear?
- I'm just defending myself.
- Against what?
- Haven't you heard of Communism?
Open it up!
- A corpse!
- A Russian corpse!
- Do we prey?
- Do you speak Ashkenazi?
- Hey may not even be Jewish!
- He's alive, you hear?
This guy is alive!
A-l-ive. Alive.
- Shut up, will you?
- I'll get other rabbis!
- Bring some Cinzano too!
- In no time, the room was like a Sanhedrin.
10 rabbis, a circumciser, 10 students and onlookers.
A hen.
Confusion in numbers.
Fear of the police, of everything.
- We need to know if the dead man has a foreskin
to decide on the right burial ritual.
Bless the heavens I'm here.
My diagnosis
is worth an official rabbi's certificate.
- What if he's Christian? You call a priest?
They'll call it a ritual murder!
- We could do the Christian ritual.
- You know how to do a Catholic burial?
- I know some Latin.
- You'll say the Kaddish in Latin?
- Maybe he's Jewish! The crate was full of Talmuds.
- How does that help? Jewish or not, he's Russian!
Do Jews there bury their dead like us?
- Of course, master.
- Taking dictation in French makes you a genius!
Close it up,
and ship him back to Russia.
- We have to take the books out first.
- May God curse
he who leaves a man unburied!
It's like finding Moses in his basket
and putting him back on the Nile!
- We'll send him back where he comes from.
- Out of the question. - They all agree
- Yes!
He's not even dead. I'll show you!
- Oh!
- One of the undead! Shut him up in his crate!
(In Russian)
- They can't understand him, just like me.
- Miaou. Miaou.
Miaou!
They don't know how to listen.
- Doesn't anyone speak Russian here?
- I understand you. - A talking cat!
- No human has listened to me in ages!
No one understands me.
- That's a pity. You can't be my interpreter then?
- No, but we can talk. That can help.
- These people, this house.
Is this Algeria?
- Yes, this is Algiers. In Algeria.
- That's good.
- Give him air! - He's not well.
- The Russian's not well.
- I just said that. - Out with you!
- We will sit in the yard.
How's our survivor?
I have an idea how we can communicate.
We'll use the prayers.
Hey, Michel Strogoff!
Do you understand these prayers?
- Mode... oni...
- Lefaneha.
- Lefaneho.
- Terrible pronunciation!
Shalom aleichem.
- Shalom oleichem.
- Oh, la la, la la!
- You understand? - He uses O's for A's in the prayers.
- Try talking in Hebrew.
- No one speaks Hebrew, daughter.
Ladino and Castilian are languages.
Hebrew is just for prayers.
- Zlabya! Do your chores.
Get inside, the boy needs air.
Are you hypnotised, or what? Go inside!
- What's his problem?
- He needs my help! Can I refuse to help a fugitive?
- What fugitive?
Think he was stupid enough to flee his country in a crate?
- So he was playing hide and seek?
- What are you doing? You're not smart, huh?
To fill your pockets with paints instead of sandwiches.
- Dad!
Take him seriously.
Look... It seems to be moving.
- That's it, he's mad.
He left Russia to lose himself in Africa.
- Da, da!
- Vastenov. Vastenov.
- Vastenov?
That's a Russia name.
A Russian living in Algiers? - Da! Da!
Vastenov!
- A Russian? In Algiers? Ha, ha!
A needle in a haystack!
- Go on, Dad! You know people,
you'll find him.
- Zlabya thinks I know everyone...
Surely someone here can help me.
- Try the Russian church.
Miaou, miaou.
- Stop mewing, will you!
Let's try the Russian church.
- What a brilliant idea.
- Father?
- Come in, come in.
- I'm Rabbi Sfar,
from the synagogue near the harbour.
Sorry to bother you,
but I need someone who speaks Russian.
- But I'm Catholic.
- In an Orthodox church?
- The place was abandoned so my diocese sent me here.
- So you don't know any Russians?
- I do know one.
But he prays without me.
He's a rather extravagant fellow, Mr Vastenov.
- Are you joking?
- Not at all. - How can I find him?
- He's here.
- Here? - Look.
He arrives every day in a fancy car,
accompanied by a beautiful woman.
He must be depraved to pray an hour a day!
- Ah! God!
You'll never see me in church again!
You let Tsar die!
I will not come back!
- It's good to berate the Lord, my son.
It shows you believe in Him.
- Ah!
- You look retired. - Retired?
I have sexual activity!
Night and day!
I run, swim...
- I'm sure you do.
This is Rabbi Sfar. He wishes to meet you.
- I never refuse to drink with new friends!
- Urchins, rabbi? - Thank you.
I'm not allowed them.
- Delicious.
- And the murder?
- Pardon me?
- You never killed someone?
- My son. - You neither?
What I miss most
since exile
is murder!
I'm very bored.
Luckily, there's
love.
- The love of God?
I love my late wife.
I love my daughter, my cat and the Torah.
- I love alcohol, women, my car, tobacco,
and literature!
- That's for
the young.
You act young to avoid looking at your life.
The time given to us is like a stone thrown in the air.
It always falls back down.
- Hrmmm... explain.
- When I drive a car, I watch the road.
- That's sad!
Oh!
Let's drink.
- Get out of here!
Idol worshippers!
- Whoa, whoa! What's going on?
- The undead fellow has decided to paint your daughter!
- So?
- "So"?
The second commandment forbids it!
"You shall have no other God but me.
"You shall make no carved image..."
- I know it.
It's a nice painting.
Surely we can let them carry on.
- Right...
He'll be sleeping with her next!
- Enough! Rabbi, I respect you,
but this is my house.
Go home.
- Abraham, you let a child order me around?
I demand you burn that painting,
and punish your daughter harshly!
- Yes, women must obey!
- Get out, you old wreck!
And take your student too!
Find a fiancee instead of hanging out with an old man.
He's sweating! He can't look me in the eye!
Get out of my house.
- Who's that? - A Russian.
- You collect them!
- What's so funny? My daughter shaming me?
- Yes, she's wonderful!
I've never seen a Jew angry before.
In Russia, always with head lowered.
Your daughter would scare Cossacks!
You're a fine specimen of Jew.
- Oh!
- Just watch her from afar.
Translate the Russian and stay away from her.
- He's Vastenov?
You found him? - Vastenov!
- Let's go somewhere where we men can talk.
- And my portrait?
- So why's this Russian in Algiers?
- He's a Jew.
- We noticed.
- For us, in Russia,
a Jew is not a Russian.
It stays a Jew.
- What's the difference?
- It changes everything.
A Russian, you challenge to a duel.
A Jew, you burn.
A Russian, you seduce his wife.
A Jew, you take. - Even since
the revolution?
- You have a sense of humour! I like it!
- Can you ask him
what he wants?
(In Russian)
What did he say?
- He has to go to Ethiopia.
- Tell them I'm not mad.
- He's a madman who doesn't know geography.
- In Ethiopia live descendants of Queen of Sheba and King of Solomon.
- He says: "Some negroes there are Jews too."
- A Zionist! He wants to found a Jewish land!
- I want to paint that vast country. - A land without people,
for a people without land!
The Jewish Agency sent him. We must help. Let's go to Ethiopia!
Just imagine: African Jews!
- We're African Jews, my son.
- I mean Black Africa.
- Black Jews? It's a sin to say that, my son.
- Abraham! You're a racist!
- I'm just saying no one ever saw a black Jew.
- I'm not shocked.
- He says its natural for him.
-Perhaps in Russia.
But in Africa, we are the Jews.
- Bravo! Well said.
- He asks how you know
that Moses was white.
- He's right. What proves our ancestors had fair skin?
- Blacks have slavery, Jews have pogroms.
It's a lot to bear. No one could ever deal with both!
- I have proof for what I say.
- Colour photos of Moses?
- Better: A Russian Communist Party report.
It wants to exile the Jews without creating an uproar in Europe.
- A fine plan!
- They found black Jews in Ethiopia.
The Falasha. But something else interested them there.
I didn't just bring paints with me.
"... found a territory in Ethiopia the size of a country
"where the inhabitants
"speak Aramaic and practice strict Judaism."
An authentic document, that's for sure.
- Incredible!
- I can finance the whole expedition!
- You'll see giraffes as well?
- With me, you have an excellent guide.
I could draw a map of brothels in Africa.
I know many.
- One second more, and I'll go to hell.
Isaac! Abraham! Come along!
- I'm not seeking adventure. I'm just listening.
- Don't worry.
We shall travel very comfortably.
Even an old man can come.
- What old man?
- Come, or I'll pour lead in your ears to drown out the voice of temptation!
- Mr Vastenov, why did your compatriot, and my fellow Jew,
have your name on him? Why you?
- Because I alone possess something
that can allow a Jewish painter to cross Africa.
Voila!
- A 1925 Citroen half-track!
What a beauty!
May I?
Let me see to her.
In a week, she'll be as good as new.
If you want, I can drive her.
- Dad!
Papa!
- Lion Malka will stay here. He'll watch over you.
Everything will be fine.
You don't want to stay with him?
- Father, I'm fond of Malka.
But I could have come too.
This voyage is an initiation!
An incredible opportunity!
It's not fair only you should go.
- That's the way life is.
Malka, pass me the salt, will you?
- What are you painting on my Citroen?
- The symbol of Jerusalem.
It will bring us luck.
- lmpossible! If you do that,
we'll be taken for Jews!
- And so?
- Get rid of it!
- No.
I insist.
- Enough. I only set off under the Russian flag.
Here's what we'll do, we'll blend the two flags.
- Good idea, cat.
- You're leaving me too?
Don't be sad, mistress, I'll be back soon.
- Do you miss Rabbi Sfar?
- Oh, no.
He must be home celebrating with his family by now.
We'll see him next year.
Now, make the most of the silence.
- Yes, but it's so lonely...
- No wonder you don't understand music, my loyal donkey.
You never respect the moments of silence.
- What's all that
dust over there?
- Cousin!
Don't we look good?
- Abraham!
What's that ridiculous flag?
- It's the Russian Empire!
- And Jerusalem!
- Coming to invade Africa with us?
- What's going on here?
- Listen,
we're off on a crazy adventure.
Don't worry, the madman's paying.
- Ah...
- We need you anyhow. You can't refuse.
- Crossing Africa to find Jerusalem? Preposterous!
But if I can learn some new songs, I'll come.
- We're driving a genuine Citroen half-track!
She did the Croisiere Noire with Audouin-Dubreuil.
- Let's hope she's ready to take to the road again.
- Look at this marvel! How much fuel does the tank contain?
Go on, say it!
180 Litres.
Can you believe it?
- Very nice.
But why not take a ship to get to Ethiopia?
- No. We're prefer our truck.
- The painter is happy.
The Star of David shines on the flag.
We let him buy art materials too.
He paints countless landscapes.
This is the desert. What can you paint here?
- The colour.
- It's all blue. That's dull.
- I can use other colours too.
And I can swap the dune's calm lines
for something else.
- Why come here to reinvent everything?
You could have done exactly the same in Russia.
- No. Not exactly.
- I prefer looking at nature than your daubs.
- Me too, that's why I observe closely,
before I begin.
I work with real things.
- What does it feel like when you paint?
- Like you, when you devour your prey.
It was prettier running free,
but you can't help it.
You sink your teeth into it.
- Ah, I understand. I think I saw a mouse.
- See... That belt operates the engine.
- And that?
- This?
This is the radiator.
- Tell the rabbi his cat's not well.
- Huh?
The painter says this is a cat that talks.
- How does he know?
- He claims that ever since he got to Algeria,
the animal never stopped talking.
- He used to talk to me once.
Maybe he's chosen a new master.
- Not praying for your cat?
- When my wide died, I prayed and the Almighty did nothing.
He won't lift a finger for a cat.
- Enough!
It's just a cat.
Bury it, and...
- No! - He's important.
- You can't replace it like an old truck.
For us, cats and donkeys are important.
- Because they last a long time.
How can we treat scorpion stings?
- I know the chief of a tribe near the Tanezrouft.
Their camp isn't far away.
Their marabout works wonders.
- A friend?
- No, but I think he respects me.
Be careful while we're among them!
They're very easily offended.
- What particular topic of conversation
must we avoid?
- Don't talk about religion. They're fanatics!
- You're lucky my prince respects Sheikh Sfar.
I'd never soil my hands with a cat.
- He doesn't even have a name...
- He'll live.
- My heartfelt thanks, marabout.
What's your name?
- Professor Suleyman.
- If you like, I'll call him Suleyman.
- That would be an insult! It's a prophet's name.
Giving an animal that sacred name would be tactless.
- Forgive me.
He'll remain nameless then.
But I'll pray for you often.
- Are you Jewish? - Yes.
- Your prayers won't go far then.
- Thank you for the cat, then.
- My old master...
- But...
- We're back with the madmen?
- You're talking again?
Oh! God be praised!
I don't know why you stopped nor why you've started again.
- I never stopped, you just didn't listen.
- No, all you did was mew.
- I have a lot to tell you.
- These people are touchy. Don't say too much.
- Damn you! What are you doing?
- Calm down, brother. He's painting your prince,
to thank him for your hospitality.
(In Russian)
- Every Muslim knows that the Koran forbids
representation of the human image!
- I know the Koran better than you!
- Liar!
- You call me a liar before your prince?
Here's a copy of the Koran.
Find a single line
forbidding my friend to paint your prince.
- Friend asks
if he must stop painting.
- No. Our tradition is wary of statues
that may lead to idolatry.
An outline in a frame has no shadow. It is less harmful.
My descendants will be happy to see what I looked like.
- No need to tell us
not to talk religion! Ha ha!
- I know. I was wrong.
But I'm touchy too.
For 75 years I've roamed this world,
hailing my prophet five times a day.
I can't stand being lectured to by some irate child.
Our God isn't full of hate.
He loves science and the arts.
He's never happier than when His children are at peace.
It's a pity he lets so many fools speak in His name.
- My benefactor, come to the banquet.
I'll give the prince his portrait.
I'm bound to need a translator.
- Ha, ha!
I'll load my revolver then.
It's the language of the future.
Everyone understands!
Bang! Bang!
- You try to play the merciless old soldier.
But, in fact, you're respectful.
- Watch what you're saying,
painter!
I don't respect anyone.
I say screw the lot of you!
Jews, Arabs, Reds...
friendship between nations.
Oh!
All crap!
Long live friendship between men!
- Voila.
We must go and eat now.
- Ah, my portrait.
- My friend.
Thank you again.
Without you, my cat would be dead. He's talking again too.
- Yes, thank you.
- Shhh! They're not all my friends.
If they hear you, they'll think we're sorcerers
and behead us on the spot.
- Miaouw.
- That's better.
I'm pleased.
Now, let's eat.
- Still thinking about your pretty painter?
- You fools. I'm worried about Dad.
It's dangerous and he's frail.
- Is that any way to talk about your father?
You father's strong and brave.
He knows Africa inside out.
- Where did he learn?
- At the Talmud Torah,
when we were kids, with his rabbi.
- Should I feel better?
- Have you read the Bible? Where is Moses' story set?
In Eskimoland?
The Bible's set in Africa.
A man who knows the Torah has nothing to fear.
- Wasn't it in the Middle East?
- You know better than me? Go on, speak.
- Sorry, Mr Malka.
- This is Africa.
This is the land of Israel.
Your father's following this path.
He's close to Jerusalem.
- Where is he now?
- Your father's here.
- Is he well?
- He's with a tribe of people
who are very fond of Jews.
- Your women?
Where are they?
Where have you put
the desert maidens with heavy breasts?
- It's wise to leave certain jewels in their case.
- They have to finish leftovers
after we leave the table?
- Shut up now, Vastenov.
- Forgive him, he's a hothead.
Don't take him seriously.
- I'm the hothead?
- Prince, this is intolerable.
He's insulting us at our table.
- This old man's shameful state shows the harm drink can do.
- Even drunk, we can still behead him.
- Yes, you're right.
- Want to play that game? - I'm not scared of you!
- I love to die.
- I love death more than you.
- Ah, no, no.
- Wait! Kill each other after the meal.
For now, let's talk calmly to see if it's necessary.
- You're right, Jew.
Let's discuss our religions.
- Not over dinner.
- Tell us about Islam and Judaism.
- What can I say?
Islam is very good...
And Judaism too.
They're good religions and very similar.
For example, Jewish and Arab pastries are the same.
- Don't you think Islam is better?
- Yes, no doubt.
- Why not convert to our faith, in that case?
- The Koran says we must respect the children of Abraham.
- You love Jews more than you love your brothers!
- Your Jew recognises Mohammed's law
or my sword will deal with him.
- That's uncalled for.
I'll keep my religion because I know the prayers in Hebrew
and I'm too old to learn new ones.
But my religion isn't better.
- Good answer, Jew!
Now listen well.
Which of these three prophets
have the longest beard?
Moses,
Jesus or Mohammed?
- I'll silence you!
- Try it!
- Bow down to a soldier of God!.
Each slain infidel brings me closer to God!
- I've killed more men than you. God loves me!
- God guides my hand.
If I die fighting, I'll go to paradise!
- God lied to you.
We don't go...
anywhere!
- It was an equitable duel.
On the field of honour, the matter is closed.
However, you have deprived my army of a key soldier.
You owe me a life.
Leave your painter here and I'll let you go unharmed.
- These men don't belong to me.
- Then the only gift you can offer is your wretched life.
- My life belongs to the Tsar!
- Perhaps two deaths suffice for one evening?
You'd show wisdom in allowing us to continue unhindered.
- True.
But we must have desert first.
Then we'll drink tea.
You may leave in peace first thing tomorrow morning.
- We were allowed to take Vastenov's body with us.
We buried him
near the ancestor of my rabbi and the musician.
If like me,
he had kept silent, he'd still be here.
- I am proud of my cat.
Before, he used to talk willy-nilly.
I was afraid he'd get involved in the dispute.
But he said nothing. That's good, my cat.
- It doesn't mean I did nothing.
I sneaked into the prince's tent
and clawed his portrait.
- What a good cat!
- No, master.
I'm loving but I'm not kind.
- That's good.
- At this point, my rabbi will discover Blacks.
And I'll discover
he's no smarter than others.
- When we reach Oubangui, watch out
for the Ban-Da. They're cannibals.
They call white men "yum-yum".
- The rubbish you talk!
I didn't learn about Africa from books.
Put that thing away!
- What? This is scientific.
It's the Citroen explorer's log.
- You're not looking at anything.
You'll never make this journey again. Look!
- I'm looking, but the book's educating me too.
- If your Citroen lot had written that about Jews,
you'd say they did not understand.
When you see new things, look and don't speak right away.
- You think you're smarter than Andre Citroen.
He doesn't realise that
without a guide,
I feel like I'm in the ocean without a lifebelt.
- The sheikh's right.
You could look in silence.
- And not comment on what I see?
I've never done that.
- Not very French. - Not very Jewish.
- Can you scratch me here?
While the sheikh swaps songs,
my master clings to familiar things.
He starts making remarks.
- Hey! I play the darbuka too.
You use the back of the hand?
I use the flat of it.
- The tiny details show the extent
of what you don't know.
Mohamed! Listen!
I play like a Tuareg!
Go to sleep!
I'm tired.
I'll read the Citroen guide another time.
- In the Belgian Congo, we meet a young reporter.
- I didn't know they had Israelites in Black Africa.
- And his dog is stupid.
- Boss, you no claw me, ok?
- He thinks we're idiots.
- You see? This is the paper I write in.
I don't actually write, of course.
We use an invention called printing.
Can you decipher Western script?
- He talks,
but never listens.
- I'm busy washing, see. I wash once a day.
It keeps me healthy, free of lice...
Washing isn't a game, it's healthy.
Goodbye, my friends!
Remember, I'm in the paper every week! Ciao!
- Things are complicated in white men's towns.
These adventures set a high price
on bread and board.
- Not coming to sleep, Abraham?
- No, cousin.
I'm watching the truck.
This is scary!
- But we're having fun.
- Yes.
- The painter and I prefer the night's dangers.
We look at everything in every town, missing nothing.
The painter looks so much, he falls in love.
A real Russian, he does nothing by halves.
- Cat, tell him to stop staring, I can't work.
- He says he can't stop.
He wants to draw you. It's his job.
- Ask if he does this to all the girls.
(In Russian)
- He asks what time you finish.
- Translate for me.
Listen carefully, cat. Tell him that I'm not like that.
- Translate this, but with the same emotion.
- I'm a painter too. Get her to pose nude.
These women are goddesses.
I'll give you a tip for drawing blacks.
The Negro's specificity lies in the curve of the face.
You understand?
(In Russian)
- A foreigner? Never mind.
Here are the basics.
There's no sense in drawing
if you don't possess the rudiments of anatomy.
Savage!
- Tell him not to get into such a state.
I've heard worse than that.
(In Russian)
- In his country, they do similar drawings of Jews.
- We were made to meet.
- Tell her I'll take her to the land
where the Blacks and Jews come from.
Tell her there's no racism there.
- You really want me to translate that?
- Wake up, you adventurer!
Time to go!
He needs to sleep.
He's in love with me. I'm coming to his Jerusalem.
I think I love him too.
- He's not coming?
- He's in love. He wants us to take a waitress along.
- Ah!
If she accepts, God is great, and that's good news.
- Why?
- I couldn't keep drinking your coffee all the way
to Ethiopia.
- I'm insulted. My daughter likes me coffee.
- She's a good girl.
- How do you know the waitress' coffee is better than mine?
- I dreamt of your father.
You know, my dreams are always true.
- How is he, Malka?
- He's well, thank God.
But he's been in danger.
I saw your father on a battlefield.
Tribes of black men were clashing.
But all of a sudden,
Rabbi Sfar held up the Tables of the Law
and all the fighters put down their weapons.
- Really? - Certainly.
He said: 'Stop fighting. You must shake hands."
They're all friends now, God be praised.
- You're kind, trying to reassure me.
- I don't know why he had to go so far away.
He even took my cat. - Listen, my girl.
Your father is old, that's true.
This journey may well be his last great adventure.
So it's good to let him go.
- The journey lasts months.
No one complains. The old laugh at everything.
Even our mechanical problems.
When they see animals, they become pompous.
They thank God for the richness of Creation.
They're like two little boys discovering the world.
As for the lovers, they get acquainted.
Thanks to his African, my Russian is learning French.
(In French) You...
... love me?
Not laugh!
Hard for me speak French!
- I laughed because other white people speak to me like that.
But you can't help it!
- She black so you won't marry us?
- We have no laws forbidding Blacks.
But I need two Jews for a Jewish wedding!
- A non-Jewish wedding then. - I'm not authorised to do that.
- I can take the same god as him.
- Yes, but its complicated. You can't decide on a whim.
You study for years to become Jewish.
- My village full Jews who never study.
- If Jewish people are ignorant, that's God's fault.
- But if I convert
someone who doesn't know the 613 laws, I'm the guilty one.
- You guilty then! Fine!
Hurry! I want to marry her.
- All right.
The greatest Jewish wise man was Hillel.
He summed up our laws in one line:
"Love your neighbour as yourself."
- Who's my neighbour? - I am.
- I love you!
- Mazel Tov!
- What must God think of a rabbi like me?
- Maybe he sees you as someone raising the level.
- Perhaps. You never know what to think with God.
- It's enough to tell yourself God is a decent guy.
- Yeah.
- You're lucky to get him, my mistress liked him too.
To sum things up: On this expedition we have
two kids,
a cat, a donkey, two lovers and soon a baby.
It's Noah's Ark.
In Asmara, we meet Eritrean Jews.
They talk about the Falasha, Jews since the dawn of time.
But no one has heard of the city called Jerusalem.
- Tell this fool his Jerusalem doesn't exist.
(In Russian)
- He says you have no faith.
- A communist tells me that?
- They don't know it because the region is inaccessible.
Tell them I'm sure.
- That's supposed to reassure us?
- There are beasts in the water!
I'm sure there are!
I'm sure there are beasts in the water!
- Cut it out!
- Bless you, Lord, for allowing us crocodile meat.
And give us strength. We can't go on.
- Amen.
- The track is so rough, we abandon the truck.
Even the donkey gives up.
- Remember where I am.
Don't abandon me!
- I promise.
Even the two Sfars can't go on.
- You should give up, my friend.
- No, it's my dream. - And you, with your baby?
- I go where my love goes.
- Wait!
I'll accompany you.
Watch your step!
- All the Jews and Blacks come from this city.
Maybe Adam and Eve too.
Maybe Adam and Eve are still alive,
thanks to their very balanced diet.
Look. We're here! - Woah!
What a view!
This is it!
- The city of our origins.
- Fantastic!
- They lived in peace for 2,000 years.
Far from racism, from hatred!
It's magnificent!
- Our home at last!
We'll be loved here.
(Unknown language)
- It's not visiting time.
- They don't know who we are. We're in your tribe!
Don't kill us.
- They're big.
- They don't seem very friendly. - They don't know us yet.
Language barrier. - I understand.
They're telling you to get lost.
- Misunderstanding!
Explain: we're Jewish like them.
- We all have the same religion...
- See?
They're adopting us.
(Unknown language)
Ah... what did they say?
- l can translate, but you won't like it.
They say
they never saw a pink Jew like you.
- I'll draw you.
A portrait of each one of you.
- It's so pretty.
Hello sir, very pretty.
What a big bathroom!
Hello! Having a nice soak?
Hello. Magnificent.
What's the matter?
What the... Ah!
No, please...
- You're annoying!
(Prayers in Hebrew)
What's that?
It's... it's...
But it's...
A bar mitzvah!
I want to do
my bar mitzvah too!
Hey, friends!
Afer he finishes, can I do mine too?
- There we go.
- I just wanted
to do my bar mitzvah. Help!
- A bit stylised, but drawn with love.
- No!
- Let's go, please?
- Cat, you help me.
Translate. - Not right now.
- There's a misunderstanding.
- He says you're an idol worshipper, stealing their faces.
- Who are they?
- They don't want me to do my bar mitzvah.
- Don't run away, cat.
Solve all problems
through dialogue.
- You're right.
Stay as you are.
Don't change your way of life.
You're just like the rest of mankind.
I prefer cats.
We set off again!
We find the Sfars.
We find the donkey.
We find the truck.
- You see, your city doesn't exist.
- We told you so.
- Husband...
Your story is funny.
- I always thought your city was a dumb idea.
- What do we tell the others?
Do we tell them it exists, or not?
- I think we must lie to them.
Talking about things as they are isn't my job.
- I'll go, if I'm in the way.
That's really swinging!
That's not Maalouf.
- I pinched a few ideas
from Django Reinhardt in Constantine. Want to sing with me?
- No, talking is already hard enough.
I'll learn to sing another time.
Writing to Zlabya, master?
- Yes. - Have you mentioned me?
- You're very curious.
- Have you said I'm talking again?
- I say you've travelled and learned a lot
and that you have become a good cat.
- Please tell her we'll be home soon.
Tell her I love her with all my heart.
that I dream of nestling against her breast...
- Are you telling me how to write to my daughter?
Get out of here!
- Oh, Eternal God of Abraham, allow me to return to Zlabya.
Ask her to care for me and love me as always.
God of heaven and earth, carry me to her arms.
Keep her happy with me for ever and ever.
May she never marry or have children! Amen.
O Eternal
God of Abraham
Allow me to return
to my mistress
Make her to love me
Always
God of Heaven and
Earth.
Make her care for me
Carry me
To her heart
To her arms.
May she never marry
May she never have children
May she never marry
May she never have children
May she never marry
May she never have children
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