You can leave a contact number and, if there's anything...
Of course.
Here you are.
Eva, Eva, the baby!
Goodbye, darkroom.
I've read that kids
need their own space to feel
independent.
What's that?
A cloud.
I don't know...
I want the baby to feel happy in the world.
The world is awful regardless of how many
clouds you paint.
I hate when you get
negative...
You know grey doesn't look bad on you?
Let's see...
That looks good.
Thanks to this great artist, who hangs up his camera today,
many of us understand better the world we live in.
With this plaque,
we cannot give back...
Aplaque and out to pasture.
We all reach our end and not everyone gets a plaque.
And so you realize that you've known how to earn
the love and respect of
this great family... -Abused to the end.
He still had 3 months of contract.
The boss did right. He's paying for his nursing home.
Uh, I don't know...
what all this is for.
I don't even know this man.
I never had
family or anything.
- It's been many years... - I want to say
that life
is a splendid failure.
It's like a dog.
First, it licks your shoes,
then it bites your leg
and devours you
until there's nothing left of you.
In the old days,
I was like you,
young...
and now...
Now I'm...
an old man.
I miss
a woman's body,
caressing
her back,
kissing her breasts
and feeling
the hidden heat
of her thighs.
Are you okay?
I wanted to show you my dramatic range.
There's no need.
They say the secret is in imagining the camera
is a man you want to seduce.
Am I better than 20 years ago?
No, I can't... I can't.
- You can't or don't want to? - I can't.
So you want to?
No,
I can't want to.
I'm sorry...
How embarrassing.
How can I do this to an expectant father who's in love?
I feel like such a shit.
I'm sorry...
I'm really sorry.
No, Samuel, no...
Are you sure?
Of all my photos, Eva likes this one the most.
She says nothing's more lonely than an abandoned instrument.
Don't miss a shot. He'll have fun explaining this to his wife.
Angle it when he gets near,
like he's kissing her.
She saw us...
- She knows we're here... - Of course, she knows.
She called us...
He's gonna squirm
over this one.
What're you doing?
- I won't do it. - What...?
No way, Amadeo.
Hey, bury the school-kid scruples. This is important.
Hand me the camera, give me...!
- Hey, piss off... - Damn it, give it to me!
Get off, let me go!
Kid,
fucking kid...
Amadeo is one of our great writers.
He's won it all in journalism.
He even won the Gold & Diamond Pen...
He can stick that pen where it hurts.
I'm gonna be a Dad soon,
and I feel like my kid is already watching me,
studying who I am.
I don't want to disappoint him yet.
You're gonna be a Dad?
Why didn't anyone tell me?
Give me a hug...
You still don't want to know the baby's sex?
- We prefer the surprise. - Okay, fine,
like in the old days.
- Oome in... - Sorry...
I think you should take
childbirth classes too, Samuel.
You'll cut the umbilical cord.
Me? I stink at manual labor.
Really? Sorry, no excuses.
Ababy's birth is like... his first birthday,
a welcome home party. Oameras...
joy, visits from parents, friends, whoever.
Look, kids... it's here.
Russky Standard,
for all.
- Lucas pays. - My birthday, I pay. Take note.
You'd forgotten.
Guys, the presents...
Lucas, each of us
has bought a gift to broaden your horizons.
Our expectations are not very high.
You've never read a book
in yourfucking life? -Always been
too busy... - I bought you an essay
on Third World exploitation. Lots of photos...
-You'll like it. -These are
adventure books in big print
so you catch the reading bug
a lot faster.
Mine's in Braille, in book shops everywhere.
Are you fucking crazy? Paco,
another round.
I told you...
Lucas, you scare us.
You're empty inside... you're a functional illiterate.
We're friends,
we can't allow it.
You're joking, right?
What do you want?
For me to start reading now and trash who I am?
She's here...!
- How're you? - Fine.
Guys, this is
Katrina. Katrina, this bunch of losers are my friends.
Here... I suppose you all know her?.
Hi.
Gold medal
in karate. - Silver.
The gold went
to a Taiwanese bitch. - Bitch.
O'mon, take away that shit. We have a lot to celebrate.
This is Ana
and that's Irina.
Oharmed.
She was gonna cook Russian today. Remember?
Uh-huh.
Between you and me,
a woman who spends the whole day blowing a tuba
is not frightened much
by the sight of a naked man.
We want to form a chamber music ensemble,
to do something other than the orchestra.
I don't want to stagnate my entire life there.
But I suppose you could care less.
Why do you say that?
Oos you don't care what I do.
You don't want to talk to me or hearwhat I have to say.
Your motherwants to talk... even though it's four
in the morning...
I don't know if you realize what's happening to us.
I know because I want a baby.
For me it's a way to avenge my parents' death.
Away of feeling that life goes on
and continues no matterwhat.
But maybe you don't feel that way.
It's probably very confusing,
something out of the blue that you didn't expect.
Eva? I was just organizing a dinnerfor everybody to meet.
You're not Eva?
Sandra?
Nieves?
Anyone else?
I'm not on the list of women who matter in your life.
Mom...
So this is the dump where you work.
- Why are you here? - With the new road, it's a snap.
You don't say.
Introduce me to your pals.
I'm Sami's mother,
how are you? Is he a good boy?
Does it always smell so bad in here?
You really do sweat the news...
Mom, please...
- Is this your boss? - Yes...
It was so many years ago...
You look so old, Andres.
- Time overlooks no one. - In turn, you look great.
Hogwash...
Soon I'll be a grandma. Oan you believe it?
- I've got 5 grandkids. - Don't compare.
You were always horribly boring and conventional.
Not always, not always...
True, you had five minutes when you thought you'd change the world.
Just before it changed you.
Sooner or later, it changes us all.
Oome up, please.
Didn't want to disturb. I only wanted to see Sami...
You don't disturb.
It's like entering a time tunnel.
It's so clear now... With a mother like that...
- Your kids? -Yes.
Boy, they're ugly.
This woman's seduced many.
We should be separated from parents at birth.
The family is the most reactionary institution on the planet.
She seems really nice.
What's yourfather like?
I don't know...
He managed to escape before I was bom.
Apraying mantis...
They devourwhat they love.
For his first steps.
It's pink because I was convinced that the baby would be a girl.
Poor Samuel had to dress in girl's clothes for two years.
Then the pediatrician said
it could traumatize him for life. You had to see...
how darling he looked
in this cute little skirt.
I can imagine...
Are all the things I brought okay?
Perfect, because we haven't had time to buy a thing.
Good, because now it's a make- a-dollar-off-the-babies' world.
We've lost the passion
of knitting for our kids.
Do you know psychiatrists recommend macrame to combat
stress? - Really?
Samuel, perhaps macrame would do you well.
No.
Samuel's problem
is the same as all men
when they have to face
responsibility.
They only know one response:
To run...
Sorry I'm late, I had to pick up Gladys.
She's Don Vicente's niece.
Hello.
Hi.
Still taking pictures...
Yeah, I shoot anything.
But I kid myself,
I think
I can make time stop.
Everyone says hi. How's it going?
Bad, very bad. The food
sucks
and the Masses
never end...
He had family in South America?
Distant...
Very distant...
Distant...
So you're Oamilo's daughter?
But Oamilo never had kids.
Aprostitute? Are you crazy?
- What's wrong? - He's an old man...
Wouldn't you like someone to do this for you?
He's going mad thinking he's getting a blow job from the niece
of someone he doesn't remember.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Has Vicente calmed down? - Yeah, he's with his niece now.
I'll go in to meet her.
No, leave them. They have a lot of personal stuff to catch up on.
Imagine... See you later.
Move, I can't see herface.
Here's more bread.
Want some more wine?
Samuel,
believe me, you have a talent for cooking.
His mother taught him.
Don't know why I thought
you'd be the typically perfect cook.
I haven't a clue cos I'm not perfect.
Yes, she is.
- You play with the Real orchestra? - The viola.
Its resonance is so unique.
Especially out of tune.
Isn't it sad reducing something so pretty
to office work?
I saw an opera with a chick once. Fell asleep 3 times.
No way that
thing would end. And all that yodeling.
What an ass!
Is it true that opera singers end up nuts
because of excess oxygen in the brain?
With world hunger and the Iberian lynx in danger
of extinction and four
assholes wearing furs and jewels
listening to warbling. - Ignore him...
He'd fill up the Prado Museum with stickers of Ohe.
Hey, Ohe is an old icon
like a revolutionary
Mickey Mouse.
Hoows the pregnancy?
Pregnant women
turn me on.
To fuck, I mean...
A drain pipe turns him on.
You seem very set up, Samuel.
The middle-class home... I suppose the SUV is on the way.
And you can hire
a slave to babysit while you watch TV at night.
Not a bad idea...
Aflat, living together,
a kid.
Piles of sand that you dump on each other, huh?
Well, I feel the same or better...
Ignore themmm.
They're like that. They made a mess of things for me and Maarisa...
when we went for our mortgage.
See, now
we only have... 27 years left.
This wine's super...
I favor suicide to procreation.
When I see a kid, I think:
"Before you enter, let me out".
She's so strange...
I admit I dislike normal types.
Normal types are depressing.
And Samuel... who looked
so special that first day.
Life is a hammer.
Stick out a bit and bam...
you're back in again.
He's right
about that.
Oome on, Eva wants to meet you
not discover what bastards you can be.
Hey, show some respect. Does the truth bother you?
It's your truth...
What a line. Sharp like a knife.
Let's see.
I've got to pee.
I had 6 beers too many before coming here.
I'll go, to ease the tension some.
I'll go too... So much
IKEAjoy makes me sick.
It was greeat, huh?
Maarisa hates them too.
The last time they were over,
Oontra decided to break a coffee set.
Too middle class, he said.
Even though we bought it in a Mayan arts and crafts shop.
They never grow up...
Maybe they don't care to. Do you want to, Samuel?
Yes, Maarisa...
Yeah, yeah... - Let me check on them.
Finiiished... yes,
yes, yes. 36.4?
Since when is that a fever?
Take it easy.
He's yours.
You check with the electronic one?
Try the titaaanium.
Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
Asshole, what are you doing?
- Peeing in the bowl. - This is the bed.
- Bastards... -You guys think you're funny.
- I had nothing to do with it. - Don't get mad.
If you were us, you'd be
cracking up at a jerk who invites
you to his house for dinner to meet his pregnant girlfriend.
Hey, watch it. The dinner was great.
It just riles you having to play the role
of the responsible one. Wouldn't you like to trade places?
Believe me a loony cretin is not my goal in life.
Acting like I was 3 years old.
I prefer a boring life than spending a second with you.
Don't say that, we're buddies.
Stick yourfriendship, I don't want it.
Friendship is above all argument. Understand?
Hey, give each other a hug.
Yeah, I'll take care of this.
Maarisa, I'll call you later.
Eva,
I can't find my clothes.
There's something I'm not sure if I've told you.
It's a mental image of my parents...
I was
twelve or thirteen.
My Dad would spend a whole day fixing a car in the back.
It was an old car, his father's...
Sometimes I'd help him
I'd spend hours with him, listening to him whistle under the car...
One day my mother came out like always, to say dinner was ready.
She got near and bent down by his side.
Do you want meat leftovers from lunch or croquettes?
And my Dad replied...
Whatever pisses you off more.
But the way my mother grabbed his thigh,
the content of that meaningless exchange.
That moment for me expressed
all they were as a couple.
But that caress as she got up
was magical...
It also was a gesture of love,
I don't know.
I've thought a lot tonight
about that.
About how nice it was... But you had to be
them to know what they were feeling.
Because it's also sad...
and you don't want that.
Eva...
You won't find your clothes. I've packed your bags.
There's yourfreedom. I want you to have it back.
But that's crazy, Eva...
I can't fix cars and you can't make croquettes.
It won't work,
you can't stand this...
We're not a snapshot of our best moment...
That's why I don't want to ruin things
or end up hating each other.
The money is clear in this one.
- How much did you pay? - 3000 euros...
5000 more, upon delivery.
- Horrible... - Yep.
If it doesn't work out, Andres will kill me.
It all depends on one call.
I'm talking about one kid's life. 8000 euros...
Fuck!
Shit, I told you not to leave things in the way.
- Goddamn, bloody hell! - They're Samuel's bags.
- His girl kicked him out. - Shit, I didn't know.
Sorry.
Get away...
Inviting you to my house would be worse.
I'll be staying at Mariano's.
That should be fun.
Finish your dinner, Pablo...
You filled up on sweets. You know that I rest
when they nap. - It's better to have kids early.
Like us.
When Silvio's 20, I'll be
only 57. In the prime of my youth
to do whatever I please, my things.
My music...
Sure you don't want to go to
the movies or...? - Movies?
Last time I went, Jorge Sanz
was still a kid.
We can't. The kids get up eight times a night.
Yeah, Pablito has a cough
and Silvio gets up at midnight
and falls asleep nightwalking
down the hallway. - Oh...
Oome on, Silvio...
It's okaay.
No problem.
It's alright. He induces the vomiting
to get attention.
The pediatrician said
not to pay him any mind.
Don't make it a big deal. It's not important.
Let him see we're unaffected.
See, Silvio, not affected.
Mariano, we're not affected.
We're not affected. Saaamuel, tell him.
He won't get anyone's attention that way, will he?
Right?
No, no...
I only think of you...
holding hands,
walking through
a garden...
There can't be anyone
in this world...
Spare us
or they won't fall asleep.
I only think of you...
What?
Gets you jealous, huh?
Painless delivery requires your cooperation.
If you breathe properly and stay calm,
having your son will be like eating an ice cream.
Oome in.
I hope you're earlier on delivery day.
No, no...
Why are you here?
I must be at the delivery to help.
You don't look good.
Did you go out last night?
I went to the disco with some friends.
I felt like moving to that terrible
music. -Are you nuts?
And the baby, you want him to grow up to be a deejay?
Samuel, concentrate. You have all day
to chat at home.
Resume position.
- Eva? - Yeah...
And breathe.
We've got to raise hell, chaos.
Give those bastards an earful.
Protesters are coming from afar.
Are you crazy? You'll kill someone.
We can't let these International Monetary Fund types
govern mankind's destiny with their market investments.
You're really absurd.
You're a radical disguised as a joumalist.
At school, everyone wanted to go corporate or be a broker.
Not me, I wanted to change the world.
- How, throwing molotovs? -According to you,
the world improves by crying on a sofa because a girl left you.
Stop looking at yourself.
Look around you at the poverty, inequality
and transgenics.
Why do you have Eva's photo?
No wonder I couldn't find it.
Hey, don't touch my stuff...
Geez, help me...
I'm telling you: you're weird.
Hey, don't think,
I mean...
sure I jerked off, but I did so respectfully.
I left my job.
I'm tired of starting relationships at the end.
First, they see you naked. Then you can't show them the inner you.
They just want the outer package...
Tell me after I meet with my boss a second, okay?
Samuel, I need a moment to tell you something.
It's been with me for days now.
I know we're not great buddies but
I want you to know I feel bad about what's happening.
I've envied you a long time.
You have your girl,
you don't return home alone every night.
That's worth fighting for.
I'd never say this in front of the others.
But I know what darkness is.
I live it daily.
But there's something worse than jerking off all your life
to embossed porn magazines
or the painful memories that eat away at your soul.
The worse thing is to never feel a woman's skin
and to wake up every morning completely alone.
You feel so useless not being able to help someone
that you begin searching shadows for anyone to share life with.
Well, Samuel,
I continue waiting mornings for those soft, delicate whispers
in my ear, describing that tree at the end
of the street or a sunset
or a raindrop running down a glass pane...
orwho'll go to the movies and tell me if it's a closeup orwide shot.
Who knows with today's directors?
Fucking is important too,
but...
feeling someone embracing
and protecting you.
Samuel, don't misunderstand...
My name is Nieves.
I am...
Don't tell me...
How are things with Eva?
Tonight you sleep over.
Okay, right.
One thing always works with women.
Let them see you cry.
One tear and they forgive all.
I have a way, if tears fail you:
I squeeze a ball,
like that, hard.
Pinch it...
and watch the tears roll.
Uh, right.
Show them we can be sensitive.
Neverfails.
Lucky stiff.
What're you looking at?
Samuel,
Sami...
Oh, Sami...
Is it always like this?
- Where's the pleasure? - I picked a bad time
to tell her we should drop it for awhile...
that I wasn't ready to commit.
I'll call an ambulance.
For sure, Samuel,
women take love more seriously than we do.
Right?
Watch over Samuel. Take care of him.
I try, but he won't let me.
- Take no major risks. - Save me the cover.
Sandra,
you'll neverwin a Pulitzer here.
They'll tell you: you got what you deserved.
I love your sermons, but we should've been in Almeria by now.
Tell Lucas to leave you the car he's test-driving.
- OK. -Almeria?
- Let's go. - Bye.
This music puts me to sleep.
Hear the viola?
It's Eva.
Live from the Real Theater.
I feel close to her that way.
Do you have hot water?
Uh, yeah...
Shitty hotel.
Eva, it's me.
In Almeria.
What?
Oontra's here...
He's staying a few days.
Says the police are looking for him.
Don't tell him, he'll overreact.
That weirdo's there?
Oouldn't he go elsewhere?
He keeps me company...
and makes great breakfasts.
Doesn't he know he's getting you involved?
Don't exaggerate.
Why are you in Almeria?
Nothing... photos.
Landscapes...
- Yes? - Eva, wait a sec.
Yes, it's me.
Yeah, tell me.
Eva, gotta go. Oall you later.
Akiss.
I love you.
Bye...
Hey, Oontra,
do you think Samuel...?
You've got to understand men.
It's not easy
to live with this cock here always giving you advice.
- Hungry? - Yeah.
Sandra! Sandra!
Oome on! Get in!
I have the photos... I got 'em.
The kid. Take the kid...
My God...
Oontra...
Didn't wanna wake you. Relax. Keep still. Guests are coming.
- Guests? - Payback for the other day.
- Listen... - Without Samuel
present, they'll be gentlemen.
Listen, Oontra...
Wait!
I just broke water...
This is no time to faint.
No it's just that... these things...
Wine from the Real Madrid Ohristmas basket!
Ohicken and rice. I could smell it.
Did you come by car?.
-Yeah, mine. - Well, bring it.
Yeah, right. You know how long it took to park?
And Maarisa wanted us to come by subway,
but, of course, these guys would hear nothing of it.
Guys, she's broken water. She's gonna lose the kid.
Don't be retarded. I just need a ride to the hospital.
Oome on.
- We should go to the cops. -Again?
I know a commissioner in Madrid who knows what I'm doing.
Let's bring the baby there...
- It's a girl. - That's her problem.
Ignore her. She just acts tough.
Sing it a lullaby. You're about to be a father,
not me.
Pretty bird, please be sweet. Be so nice and hush your peep.
Little baby...
is fast asleep. - Singing was a bad idea.
- Don't push now. - Relax.
It'll be fine.
Maarisa used to scream bloody hell.
She swore and insulted the shit out of me.
That music...
It's the Muzak, Doctor.
Turn that shit off!
I don't want my kid to hear that crap first.
The inventor of Muzak
should have his balls hammered to pieces.
The worse is plane music.
My fear of flying comes from
the landing music. - OK, push.
Oome on.
Want me to play a song on the guitar?
-A soft tune? - No.
Oontractions are nothing next
to his singing. - Oan we concentrate,
please?
Doctor, is it true giving birth in water
is more natural? - Hey, don't ask him.
Doctors want you to suffer.
Relax, we're here.
- Breathe easily. - Push harder.
Oome on, push harder.
I feel the head!
Breathe.
One-two,
one-two,
one-two. - Shut up, it sounds like marching.
Is it out yet? Tell me.
I wouldn't come out, given what's waiting for him.
OK, now push some more. Oome on.
You can do it...
Yeah, you can do it. Piece of cake.
Fuck, I'm getting dizzy, imagining all that blood.
- Relax, Felix. - Let's go babe. You're the best.
Anyone call Samuel?
Samuel...
- Did you call him? - I didn't.
Me neither.
Ah, so you were hungry.
Who can understand you?
I tried reading
those baby books. Boy, were they boring!
Like camera-operating manuals.
Until you take a thousand pics,
you understand nothing.
My name is Samuel.
And you?
Do you have a name?
Here it is. I got it.
It's here.
Here's your baby.
Anyone volunteer to cut the cord?
- Me, if I could. - Uh, that stuff...
I couldn't even with my own kids.
- Looks like we have a volunteer. - Well, lend a hand.
Take the scissors.
Oome closer, cut.
Look at it, look at it.
Let him listen to your heart.
Hey, first impressions mark...
- Oongrats, guys. - Thanks.
Eva says I flee from responsibility.
Eva's my girl.
Well, she was.
I don't know.
If you met her...
she's great.
You'd like her.
Are you sleepy?
I'd sing you another song,
but you heard Sandra before.
She says I sing like a dog,
who's had his balls stepped on.
I'm not that bad, am I?
You know I think I like you.
Of course,
I must be a superhero to you
or something similar.
Nah,
you'll see,
people are pretty normal,
well, not really...
but you get used to them.
Look, look, look...
You know the worst?
You'll be a great dad...
No, Sandra, no...
Take care of Eva.
I really liked her. She's sweet.
Don't know if you deserve her.
You'll have to fight for her.
If you fuck up
or don't treat her right,
I swear you'll pay for it.
I'll be watching you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, right.
Oongratulations.
You just became a Dad.
I'll take care of things.
Go to her.
It calms her.
It's like a pacifier.
Give it to me
and kiss Eva for me.
Sami...
- Sami, my son. - Mom!
Oongrats. Today is so exciting.
Andres and I have important news for you.
Later, Mom, later...
It's a boy...
- Beautiful. - It's all there.
They gave it a 9.9 score. I never got that.
Felix cut the umbilical cord.
- Me? - Yeah.
It was wonderful. Eva's under anesthesia but she's fine.
- What happened to you? - It looks like me, but I didn't...
do anything.
That was a kid, right?
Hello.
I think I'm your Dad.
How's everything?
Sorry for the delay.
She's to blame.
Who is she?
I'm not exactly sure.
You don't understand.
I don't either. Don't even try.
But, be prepared. This world's a strange place.
The person who invented it,
left things upside down:
Good things...
horrible things...
We'll try to make do, huh?
I'll take you to the park so you can eat the dirt
and hit other kids with the shovel 'cause that's what kids like.
And I'll give you sweets until your teeth rot.
Your mother'll play you beautiful music 'cause that's what she does.
I'm a photographer,
well, I take pictures.
They're not very good...
Eva's the one who does things well.
Me?
I take care of always fucking things up,
and leaving things a mess.
But, you'll see,
I'll be the best worst father
that you've ever seen...
By the way, do you have a name yet?
Tristan...
His name is Tristan...
Tristan?
Sounds sad to me.
The godfathers liked it...
What happened to you?
It's all a mess...
I met a girl.
Well, we bought herfor 8000 euros.
Eight thousand, believe it?
She's very nice.
We can't keep her...
But I wanted her to meet you...
I've told her about you.
Really?
What did he tell you?
Did he get syrupy?
Are you crying?
Not me,
it's him...
Take him. Give me.
He's cute.
Doesn't look like mine.
Why is it crying?
What did you do to him?
Rock him a bit.
Maybe he wants to be breastfed?
Hey, there's two...
I have no idea what'll happen, if we'll even make it work.
I don't know.
I guess no one's ready for life.
Eva's right.
Aim forfive minutes,
then anotherfive
and five more.
What's the matter?
DVD Subtilting: ONST, Montreal