- I'm gonna call you later. - OK.
Bye.
Forget something?
Oh, hey.
Hi. I'm glad I caught you before you went to work.
What's up?
I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight,
open a bottle of wine, maybe watch a video?
Nah. Thanks, though.
And in summation, I feel that these measures will help JPS and all of our customers.
- Nice job, Hal. - Thank you.
- Nicely done. - I appreciate it.
- Hal, I stand corrected. - Thank you.
Hal, I need to see you in me office straight away.
Sure.
Sit yourself down.
So, what'd you think?
I'll be gettin' to that in a minute.
I want to talk to you about that conversation we had the other night,
and all of them things you said to me.
Well, I'm more than just a little embarrassed, having said what I said.
I think me daughter is lucky to have you.
No, sir. I'm the lucky one.
Indeed.
Well, now, as to your meeting in there, sure, it was first-rate.
- Yeah? - Oh, yes.
Hal, I'm gonna level with you.
- I need your balls. - Sir?
I need a man around that can give it to me straight, you know?
Whether the news be good or bad.
So I've decided - from now on, you'll be working directly for me.
I don't know what to say, but thank you.
Well, a thank you will do just fine.
Well, get the fuck out.
OK.
Congratulations on your promot...
- Oh, sorry. - No, no. Come in, come in.
I want you to meet Rosemary. Rosemary, this is Jen and Artie. Kids, Rosemary Shanahan.
As in Steve?
Yeah, he's my dad. Oh, God, which reminds me, I gotta meet him for lunch.
So I'll see you this weekend, OK?
It was really nice to meet you guys. Do you mind if I take a little sliver?
Beauty.
Do you want a plate?
I know what you're thinking. Where does she put it, right?
You guys, thanks for the cake. You didn't have to do this.
The least we could do, seeing as how you worked so hard
to become "indispensable" to the company.
Is that that new thing called sarcasm?
Hal, we all know you're about as deep as a puddle. That used to be part of your charm.
- But this just flat-out sucks. - What are you talking about?
If you have one ounce of integrity left, you'll break it off immediately,
before you hurt the poor girl.
I gotta give you credit for being more proactive and starting to meet women.
Who knows? Maybe you are on a roll here,
but don't you think it's time to raise the bar a little?
I mean, at first I thought you were in a slump, you know?
I could, as a friend, look the other way while you banged a few fatties
and got it out of your system, but there's lots of good fish out there.
You don't have to snack on carp anymore.
I suppose the girls we partied with a couple weeks ago downtown were a couple of carp?
No. Laura, the one with the whiskers, she looked more like a catfish.
Oh, I see. And what about Marie?
Pop some bolts on her neck and the villagers'll be chasing her.
- And Vicki? - Who?
- Vicki! - Who's Vicki?
Vicki Vicki. With the short brown hair.
Vicki? I thought that was a guy. I was calling her Vic!
- You're out of your mind! - I know I'm being a little harsh on you here.
I think real friends are obligated to be honest with each other.
And this one that you're dating now -jeez.
Careful.
Hey, all I'm saying is she's got cankles, for God's sake.
- What? - Cankles! She's got no ankles.
It's like the calf merged with the foot, cut out the middleman.
I know what cankles are. Rosemary doesn't have 'em.
You know what? I know what you're doing here.
- You're scared. - Scared?
Yup. This is exactly what you did with the knockout with the weird toe.
You're just inventing reasons to dump girls cos you're afraid.
All right, look, I admit Rosemary is kind of cool.
But you wouldn't even be talking to that woolly mammoth
if her father wasn't the president of your company.
What?
I guarantee you've never met anyone like this guy. You're gonna love him.
- Great. What's his girlfriend like? - I don't know. I haven't met her.
They just started going out. Oh, there he is.
Walt!
At your cervix!
Hey, you recognize these panties?
Rosemary, don't steal my lines.
- You two know each other? - Yeah!
Gosh, Walt's been volunteering down at the hospital for years.
So where's this mystery girl?
She should be here any minute.
Hey...
I want you to be honest. Is this outfit too "Hey, look at me"?
No, no. It's very subtle.
- Sorry I'm late. - Tanya.
Oh. What a surprise.
- I gotta get a map. - I'm going with you.
What are those for?
You ever walked through a truck-stop men's room on your hands?
- Want anything? - Potato chips. And dip.
Cut it out.
So, Tanya, I had no idea that you and Walt were, you know, seeing each other.
Yeah. You got a light?
It's actually a very funny story. Because he had been asking me out for a really long time
and I was always kind of unavailable.
And then just when he had given up, I broke up with my boyfriend, and there he was.
So I asked him out.
So he kind of grew on you, huh?
Exactly. I mean, you gotta admit,
when you first meet him, it is kind ofjarring.
I mean, you kinda don't even know what goes where.
But, anyway, the timing couldn't have been more perfect,
because he had just sold his company, and he has all this time on his hands,
and we can plan things
and travel and go shopping and...
Well, I guess timing's everything.
Hope you like bean dip.
Yeah! That was my girl.
Oh, my God. I'm the biggest nerd.
- Rosemary! - Ralph!
Hi.
You remember Li'iBoy?
Li'iBoy. Yeah. How are you?
- Mahalo, Rosemary. - How you doing?
- Great. - Wow.
- They still got you out in Sierra Leone? - No, no. Now they got me nearer my home.
I'm on this island in the South Pacific called Carabas.
- I'm Hal. - Oh, I'm sorry. Hal.
These are my Peace Corps buddies. This is Ralph Owens and Li'iBoy. This is Hal Larson.
- What's up? - Li'iBoy.
So, what are you guys doing up here?
Li'iBoy's been stuck in the office training for 30 days,
so I dragged him here and threw him on the slopes.
It wasn't pretty.
I knew this Hawaiian guy in high school who went out for the hockey team.
It was funny as shit.
Anyway, it's great to see you again.
You look happy.
Thanks. I am.
Well, we got a long drive back, so...
- Bye. - Bye.
Good to meet ya.
- You OK? - Uh-huh.
It's just that... Do you remember how I told you that once I had a boyfriend?
That was him.
You're welcome.
What's your name?
Excuse me, Mr Robbins. Could I have a word with you, sir?
- Sure, but I gotta catch a plane. - It'll only take a minute.
A few weeks ago, you got trapped in an elevator with a friend of mine.
Hal! He was a great guy. He was having trouble with his relationships. How is he?
- Well, that's a matter of debate. - Really?
Anyway, apparently, you gave him, like, a pep talk,
and now he's under the impression that he can get any woman he wants.
- And you don't think he can? - I don't know. Whatever.
But, see, the point is, lately the only women he wants are ugly.
- Who says they're ugly? - Bausch & Lomb.
And very fat, some of them. It's like Hal has lowered his whole...
Jesus, you've got a big noggin.
Thanks for noticing. My new book has a chapter on blurting.
- You might wanna pick it up. - Yeah, I'll check into that.
Anyway, I mean, did something go wrong here?
Or is my friend having a nervous breakdown?
No. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"?
Yeah. Did you ever hear the song "Who Let The Dogs Out"?
- It can't be that bad. - Look, exactly what did you do to him, man?
I altered his perception a little bit.
I knew it. I knew it! I knew it!
- You messed with his eyesight, right? - No.
- You hypnotized him. - No. I dehypnotized him.
He's been hypnotized his whole life, totally focused on the outside.
I helped him to see the inner beauty in everyone,
including people you think are not physically attractive.
How can he see their inner beauty when he doesn't even know them?
Inner beauty's easy to see when you're looking for it.
But how can he not feel them when he's...?
The brain sees what the heart wants it to feel.
All right, look. Let's just cut through the old crapcake here!
OK.
Sir, don't you think it's wrong to brainwash someone?
Don't you think you're brainwashed?
Everything you know about beauty is programmed. TV, magazines, movies.
They're all telling you what's beautiful and what isn't. How's this any different?
Look, I didn't come here to debate you! I just want my friend back!
Now, isn't there some kind of word or phrase or something to take the whammy off him?!
Of course. But if we do that, he'll go back to judging everybody by the outside.
- Is this what he really wants? - I don't care what he wants!
It's what I want! I want my friend back!
I gotta go. I gotta catch my plane. I'm really sorry.
Look, a man's reputation, dignity and furniture are being trashed here!
Perhaps irreparably! For God's sakes, his job is in jeopardy!
- His job? Really? - Yes. And it's a greatjob.
I just wanted to give him a gift. I didn't want him to get hurt.
You seem to know him better than I do, so...
- It's a shame to let it go. - Oh, it's a tragedy.
So, what did you wanna talk to me about?
- Ralph called me. - Your old boyfriend Ralph?
Well, he was also my division leader in Sierra Leone.
Anyway, he's shipping out to Carabas in ten days and he wants me to go with his group.
What? You and Ralph? Carabas?
They're in the middle of this economic meltdown.
100,000 women and children need medical supplies and food, and they want me to help.
How can you be so selfish?
Sorry?
I mean, you know what I'm sayin'. You bump into pretty-boy Ralph on Friday,
the sparks are flying, and now you're gonna go and save the world in Carabas?
- This has nothing to do with me and Ralph. - Yeah, right.
He's obviously crazy about you.
He's got the heart of a saint.
I could practically see the halo around his head. I can't compete with that.
OK, first of all, you're probably the only person in the Free World
to ever refer to Ralph as a "pretty-boy."
Secondly, that halo around his head, it's called psoriasis.
You can't stand within three feet without getting flaked on.
And thirdly, and fourthly, yes, he's a great guy and he cares about me,
but he had no sense of humor.
And I'm in love with an even greater guy.
Well, then how come I don't have any say in this thing?
You do. That's why...
God, are you OK?
- Oh, my God. I am so sorry. - You should be sorry! This is an outrage!
- I'll go get help. - Are you OK, sweetie?
Thank you very much.
- I'm so embarrassed. - Don't be.
It's this flimsy-ass four-star restaurant.
Just sit right here. I'm gonna go talk to the manager, OK?
I'll be right back.
Good night. Thank you.
I'm not blaming you, but I need a chair. My girlfriend's jinxed when it comes to furniture.
I'm so sorry. The waiter told me what happened.
Just a sec. Mclntosh's.
Hello?
- Shallow Hal wants a gal, - What?
Shallow Hal wants a gal.
- What the hell are you talking about? - I just saved your life, baby.
- What? - I've been looking for you all day.
I'm at Mclntosh's with Rosemary. Look, I got kind of a...
- Are you looking right at her? - No, I'm talking to the hostess.
Hal, don't! Hal...
- Look, I got a situation here. I'll call you later. - Look away!
- I was just talking to the hostess. - Right. That would be me.
No, no. It was the other hostess.
Sir, I'm the only hostess in the restaurant.
Let me apologize about the booth. We are so sorry.
We've replaced your date's side with a new chair, a strong one, and the meal's on us.
Oh, OK. Well, thank you.
You're welcome.
Excuse me. Did you move us?
No. Second table on the right.
Well, then maybe you can explain to me why that robust woman
is eating my girlfriend's din...
Hey! Now she's eating my clams casino!
Sweetie, are you OK?
Excuse me.
Mclntosh's. Tiffany.
OK.
We're two friends walking. We're just walking.
And then Robbins confirmed exactly what I thought.
- Which is? - You weren't irresistible to women.
He hypnotized you so that really ugly girls that you met from then on
- would, to you, look like supermodels. - What?
If they had inner beauty or some baloney. You could get any woman you desired
because you were suddenly desiring the undesirable.
- You get it? - No, not exactly.
Let me put it this way. It's like he gave you beer-goggle laser surgery.
Now wait a second. So what you're saying
is that all the pretty girls I've met lately are not really pretty?
All right. Let's look at the facts.
They were funny, smart and nice.
Pretty girls are not funny! And they're certainly not nice. Not to us.
When I found out what Robbins was doing, I convinced him to take the trance away.
When I said "Shallow Hal wants a gal," you were cured.
You're out of your mind. Do you know that? I'm going back to the restaurant.
- Hal. Hal, come on. - Hey, Hal!
You never called me back. What happened to you?
- Excuse me? - Oh.
I've got my hair back.
It's me - Katrina.
We shared the cab together.
I'm in town taking care of my grandma, Cos she's been sick, and...
Oh, wait a minute! I get it!
Nice try, Mauricio. Where'd you find this one?
No, it's me - Katrina.
From Boston. The magical fruit?
Yes, I remember Katrina. But the thing is, you're not Ka...
I never told you about K...
Katrina! How the heck are ya? Give me some sugar.
I didn't recognize you. The hair and the...
You screwed me, man! I had a beautiful, caring, funny, intelligent woman,
and you made her disappear!
Oh, no, I didn't. I just made Rosemary appear. There's a difference. It's called reality.
Hey, if you can see something and hear it and smell it, what keeps it from being real?
Third-party perspective.
Other people agreeing that it's real.
OK, let me ask you a question. Who's the all-time love of your life?
Wonder Woman.
OK. Let's say Wonder Woman falls in love with you, right?
Would it bother you if the rest of the world didn't find her attractive?
Not at all. Cos I know they'd be wrong.
That's what I had with Rosemary!
I saw a knockout! I don't care what anybody else saw!
Jeez, I never thought about it that way.
- Hey, I guess I really did screw you, huh? - What am I gonna do?
Hey, hey, don't panic. We just get Tony Robbins back here,
he puts the Vulcan mind-meld on ya and he puts you back under.
Good idea.
- In the meantime you just avoid Rosemary. - Why?
Because if you see the real Rosemary, hypnosis is not gonna help you.
You'll need the jaws of life to get that image out of your head.
Hal, open up. It's me.
I hear you in there.
Just a sec, Rosemary.
What happened to you at the restaurant?
I got something in my eye. I had to run back here and flush it out.
Yeah, the hostess said that you seemed a little cuckoo.
- So, come on, open up. - I can't.
- Let her in. We'll club her. - No.
I'm...
I'm very sick.
I've got, uh...
- CC! - You have what?
Contagious conjunctivitis.
I'll take my chances. Now open up.
All right. In a minute.
I told you it was nasty.
Are you OK? Do you need to go to the hospital?
Nah, nah. I got some drops. I'll be fine.
- My poor baby. - Yeah.
Well, I should probably rack out. This has taken a lot out of me.
OK.
Well, I'll call you in the morning and see how you're doing.
Great, great. Bye-bye.
Hal, is everything all right with you?
Yeah. Yeah, it's topnotch, sir.
Why?
Well, it's just that Rosemary's been telling me
that she's having a bit of trouble getting you on the telephone the last couple of days.
Now, I wouldn't be working you too hard, would I?
No. I mean, I'm working hard,
but I guess I've just been a little preoccupied with things.
But I'll make sure and touch base with her.
Right. Right.
OK, then.
I'm sorry. Apparently Tony Robbins is a lot tougher to track down than I thought he'd be.
- I'll come through. I promise. - I can't keep this up, man.
Calm down.
I don't know, Mauricio. Maybe I should just see her.
I mean, I do have,
you know, the heart thing.
Maybe that's enough to overcome her appearance.
It could be like in that movie - The Crying Game,
When the guy fell in love with a beautiful woman?
And then when he found out it was a guy, it didn't matter, cos he already loved her.
Hal, if a set of hairy boys was your biggest hurdle here, I'd say go for it.
- Hello? - Hey, it's me,
Hey, what's up, Rosemary?
- What happened yesterday? - Hm?
Well, I stopped by your office to say hi, but you just took off running.
- Oh, you're kidding. - No,
- What were you doing? - I was jogging,
- In your business suit? - I had a sweat suit underneath.
Is everything...?
What's going on, Hal?
Things haven't felt the same lately.
- No? - No.
Hey, Rosemary, don't worry. Everything...
I'm just in a little funk right now, and everything's gonna be fine.
Yeah. So...
I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow?
Bye.
- Who is it? - Hal, is that you? It's Jill.
Comin'.
Hey, what's up?
Hey. My girlfriend just bailed on me,
and I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner.
I'm sorry. Tonight's not good.
Don't be such a stiff. There's some stuff I wanna talk to you about.
- No, really, I can't. - Please? We'll go outjust as friends.
Oh, come on. You gotta eat, don't you?
- Can I ask you something, Jill? - Yeah.
Why the sudden thaw?
Well, I've been thinking a lot.
Hal, I made a mistake. I never should have broken it off with you.
Well, you didn't really break it off. We only had that one date.
Besides, you did the right thing. We didn't have anything in common, remember?
But that was my fault. I shut you out emotionally.
We could have had more things in common if I'd wanted to.
- Mr Shanahan, how are you this evening? - How am I?
Tonight I feel like a thorn amongst a bed of roses.
- Your table's ready. John'll seat you. - Right this way, please.
- I'm just gonna go to the ladies' room. - OK, Rosie. We'll be at the table.
Yeah. See, why did you shut me out in the first place? I'm just curious.
Well, frankly, I guess I thought you were shallow.
Me?
Yeah. You struck me as this kind of superficial dickwad.
I don't know. What do you call it?
Hal, it's OK.
I've been watching you in the past few weeks. I've seen the women you've been out with.
And now I know appearances mean absolutely nothing to you.
If anything, you're pathologically unshallow.
- I don't know about that. - It's true.
Listen, I have an idea.
Why don't we get all this food to go?
- Why? - Because it'll taste a lot better in bed.
You know, there are a few times in a guy's life -
and I mean two or three, tops -
when he comes to a crossroads, and he's gotta decide.
If he goes one way, he can continue what he's doing and be with any girl who will have him,
and if he goes the other way, he gets to be with only one woman,
maybe for the rest of his life.
It seems like by taking the second road, he's missing out on a lot.
But the truth is, he gets much more in return.
He gets to be happy. Are you wearing panties?
God! What am I saying? No!
No, I'm sorry. Jill, this isn't gonna happen. I...
I think I'm gonna go down that other road for once.
- Hi. - Hello.
Hello?
Hey, hey, hey now. It's me, your love bunny.
I miss you and I wanna see you,
What's the matter? You sound upset,
What are you, some kind of psycho?
Hello? Rosie?
Just you leave me daughter alone.
- I don't understand. - The jig is up, and she knows it.
Well, she hasn't returned my calls. What's going on?
It's a little late to be worrying about that now, don't you think?
Besides, she went and accepted that Peace Corps assignment.
No offense, but I think I have a right to hear this from her.
I'll give you your rights.
I'll give you your last rites, you self-righteous little shit!
You know, I wanted to like you. I truly did.
And all of that malarkey that you gave me that night at the house. I bought into it.
In spite of all me better instincts, I took the hook.
I don't know. Maybe I share in the blame of it all.
Maybe I just wanted to believe that there was still a decent guy out there.
A lad that would be right for me daughter.
- But, sir... - Don't speak. Just you listen!
Now, thankfully, as it turns out, there is a guy out there.
- His name is Ralph Owens. - Ral... Pretty-boy Ralph?
Don't be a smart ass. Now you listen to me.
They're back together, and me daughter has a chance to be happy.
And you, you'll be respectin' that.
Excuse me. Could you tell me what floor Rosemary Shanahan works on?
I think she's up in Pediatrics.
- Yeah. That's third floor. - Thank you.
Hal, is that you?
Hey.
- What are you doing here? - I...
I came to see Rosemary.
Well, she left early. She seemed upset about something.
- Any idea where she went? - You got me.
Hi, Hal.
Hi.
- How do you know my name? - It's me - Cadence.
Oh, hi, Cadence.
How are you, beautiful?
How come you haven't come back to see us?
Well, me and Rosemary have been having some problems.
- I was really stupid. - Oh.
Well, why don't you go buy her a present and then maybe you can make up?
You were right.
In the gym last week when you said I was scared of women, you were right.
- Nah, I didn't mean that. I was just... - No, come on, Hal. It's the truth.
I'm terrified of 'em.
I haven't been close to a woman my whole life.
I'm a coward, all right?
But why? I mean, look at you. You're a mountain of a man.
You got more style than Mr Blackwell. You're pulling in what - 28, 29 Gs a year?
- 29,500. - You're the perfect catch!
I know, I know. It's crazy.
I just have this thing.
What thing?
It's kind of a birth defect thing.
Jeez, man. I didn't know.
- What is it? - I have a tail.
- A tail. - What do you mean, like a story?
No, a tail. It's like a waggy tail.
My backbone is longer than it's supposed to be.
It's like a genetic abnormality. It's a vestigial tail.
- You do not. - Yeah, I do.
Get out!
If I can't even get my best friend to accept it, how am I supposed to expect a woman to?
Wait a second. Are you for real? Cos if you are, I gotta see this.
- No, you don't wanna see it. - No, I don't wanna. I gotta.
- Good Lord! - All right, you believe me now?
Oh, man. It really does wag.
Only when I'm nervous, or happy.
Wow.
Have you ever thought about, you know, maybe getting it cut off?
Cut off? I don't know why I never thought of that
when I was getting pummeled in gym class by a bunch of barking seniors!
- All right, calm down, calm down. - God!
The damn thing is wrapped around an artery! No doctor will touch it!
Well, it's not so bad.
I guarantee you there are some girls who would think it was adorable.
Like a little puppy dog.
Really? You think it's like a puppy dog?
It's cute as a button.
- Do you wanna pet the little fella? - No!
But, you know, I'm not much of a dog person.
By the way, you're gonna need a little sod on the fairway there.
Huh? What do you mean?
So, what are you doing right now?
- Nothing. Why? - Can I get a lift? I gotta go see someone.
Yeah. Sure.
Seems like longer than forever, yeah
My home is now a distant land
If I had one wish, I wish you could be
Back on that rock in the middle of the sea
My heart is calling me to the islands
My home is now a distant land
If I had one wish, I wish I could be
Back on that rock
Hey! Hal, right?
- Have we met? - It's me, Li'iBoy.
I met you up in the mountains with Ralph.
- Oh, yeah, Li'iBoy. How ya doing? - Yeah.
- You look like you been working out. - Nah.
So, do you know if Ralph is in the office?
Yeah. Ralph!
Hal! Hey, Hal.
Hey. How ya doin'?
I'm doing great. You're looking good. So, what can I do you for?
- I came here to congratulate you. - On...?
Look,
you got a great girl, and you deserve her.
More than me. And the truth is, I'm happy for Rosemary.
But I want you to understand one thing. You better be good to her, Ralph.
Ralph, if you ever mess up and make her unhappy,
I'll be waiting in the wings, and I'll pounce on you. Like a tiger!
Like a tiger on a deer, with a cloven hoof and with a broken arm!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Hal. What are you talking about?
You're back together. Let's not play games.
- Rosemary and I aren't back together. - You're not?
Let's put it this way. Her parents are throwing a going-away party for her as we speak.
I wasn't even invited.
- This seems crazy. - Yeah. That's cos it is.
- But crazy's all you got. - Amen to that.
Good luck, Hal.
Well, I could use a drink. What do you say we slide around the side here?
Yeah, we'll blend in.
Yeah.
Hello?
- Rosie? - Excuse me. What are you...?
I love you. I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out.
What are you doing?
- Who are you? - Who am...?
Hal, are you drunk? It's me, Mrs Shanahan.
I have some things to say to your daughter. I'm not leaving here until I do.
OK. But could you release Helga so she can get back to work?
Get ready, Li'iBoy. It's showtime.
Well, Hal, now's your chance.
What are you doing here?
Oh, my God. You're beautiful.
You have no right to be here.
- Hal, come on. This isn't working out. - I'm OK.
What the hell are you doing here?
- I'm having a word with your daughter. - It better be "goodbye"!
- You've got her all up... - Steve! Shut up.
Rosemary, I am so sorry that I hurt you.
I've been really dumb.
I'm immature, I'm unthoughtful, I'm a friggin' idiot.
But I love you. You're the only girl I've ever loved.
And I just didn't want you to go away without knowing that.
You really hurt me.
I know. But if you'll let me, I wanna spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
Well, your timing is terrible.
I mean, I'm leaving for Carabas tonight for 14 months.
I'm sorry, Rosemary. I just can't wait that long.
I understand.
Which is why I'm going with you.
What?
It's true, Rosie. Big Kahuna here just swore him into the Corps about a half-hour ago.
That's right. He's official.
Are you sure that's what you wanna do?
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
- Here's your bag, Rosemary. - Thank you.
- Congratulations, Hal. - Thank you.
- Rosemary. - Bye.
Just keep it right there at the airport. I'll pick it up later. Congrats.
- We love you, Rosie. - I love you, Mom.
And, Rosemary, you'd better be looking after me lad.
I will.
Later, dudes!
Say bye-bye. Bye-bye.
You like puppy dogs, do ya?
Anything to do with dogs, I melt.
Why don't we go around back, get a little drink?
- Sure. - Yeah? Come on, big fella.
Hey, kid. How 'bout these Rossi boots? Do they fit like a glove or what?
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