翻译 My Life
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翻译 抹茶苏
翻译 狒狒
翻译 月月
校对 水水儿
轴&特效 静宇
压制 太阳雨
第1季 第1集
年轻一代
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如何建立一个推特账号
我在兰登书屋工作了三年 I worked at random house for three years.
刚开始只是营销副总裁助理 I started as an assistant to a marketing VP,
然后 一步一步地成为了初级编辑 and then I worked my way up to junior editor.
哇 很棒 Wow. Impressive.
并且 我是第一位这么年轻 At the time, I was one of the youngest people ever
就当上编辑的人 to make editor.
那时 我只有25岁 I was 25.
我现在25 I'm 25.
不要担心 你看起来不超过七岁 Don't worry. You don't look a day over 7.
那么过去... And then for the past...
什么 过去15年里竟然是空白的? What, 15 years, nothing?
我放弃了我的工作 照顾我的孩子凯特琳 I quit to raise my child, Caitlin,
她现在正在上高中 who's now spending her senior year
是一名印美之间的交换生 in an exchange program in India.
嗯 我知道我已经退出这个行业很长一段时间了 Look, I know I've been out of play for a while,
但是 比起15年前 but I am a much smarter, more capable person today
现在我更加地聪明 更加地有能力 than I was 15 years ago.
嗯 这个我知道 Hmm, I'm sure.
我已经做好准备 全天工作 I'm ready to throw myself back into work 24-7.
准备好在退出的地方在重新开始 I'm ready to pick up where I left off.
嗯 但时间真的过了太久了 莉萨 Well, it has been quite a long hiatus, Liza.
很多事情都改变了 Things have changed.
脸书 推特 苹果手机 Facebook, Twitter, iPhones.
平板电脑 电子书 视频网站 IPads, ebooks, YouTube.
图片共享 网络电话 Instagram, Snapchat, Skype.
- 拼趣 - 跟朋友上床 - Pinterest. - Bang with Friends.
真的吗? 你与朋友上床? Seriously? You Bang with Friends?
比火种软件好 It's way better than Tinder.
爱丽丝上周在火种上碰见一个男孩 Alice met a guy on Tinder last week
他给她看了一张 who showed her a boob shot
他迷恋的室友的露点照 of a girl his roommate hooked up with,
那是她自己的胸照 and it was her very own boob.
等等 她认出来了? Shut up. And she could recognize it?
当然 就像我们的指纹一样 Clear as a fingerprint.
喂! Hello
嘿 对不起 Hey. Sorry.
我并不期望我能做以前的职位 Look, I'm not expecting to come back where I left off.
我可以从任何职位开始做起 I'll start anywhere.
我会不断学习 I'll read.
我是一个很赞的读者 I'm a terrific reader.
我会从一位助理开始做起 I'll start as an assistant.
噢 很不可思议 Oh, that would be weird.
我的意思是 助理往往是刚刚毕业的大学生做的 I mean, assistants are generally right out of college.
你太... You're way too o...
大材小用了 Overqualified.
不 我觉得她是想说 No, I think she was gonna say...
橙色 Orange.
我太橙色了? I'm way too orange?
一个工业术语 Industry term.
请不要把那些话强加在我身上 莉萨 Please don't put words in my mouth, Liza.
麻蛋 Damn.
他们在这里住了12年 They've lived here for 12 years,
但是 戴夫为了黛比离开了莉萨 but then Dave had left Liza for Debbie,
黛比是一个赌场发牌手 在大西洋城他俩睡了 a Blackjack dealer he was shtupping in Atlantic City.
好消息是 他把房子留给了莉萨 The good news is he left Liza the house.
坏消息是 他用四个抵押贷款来圆他的赌博 The bad news is, of course,that he took out four mortgages
莉萨却从来都不知道 that she never knew about to support his gambling habit.
我说的太多了 你们不需要这些细节 I've said too much. You don't need the details.
我想在壁炉上面装一个平面电视 I love a flat screen above a fireplace.
我不知道 I don't know.
这听起来像一个女士和她的猫生活在一起 Sounds like the home of a woman who lives with her cats
行将就木 and is gonna die alone.
不会在这座屋子 她不会的 Not in this house, she won't.
她支付不起这座屋子的费用了 She can't afford to.
现在 如果在下周之前没有人买走这栋房子 Now, either someone buys this place by next week,
那么它将归银行所有 or it goes to the bank.
她可以留下这台电视机吗 Can she leave the TV?
嗨 我能为你们拿点什么喝吗? Hi. Can I get anybody anything?
咖啡? 茶? 氰化物? Coffee? Tea? Cyanide?
妈咪 Mom.
我正在体验一场文化之旅 I'm trying to have a cultural experience.
你不能每天都打电话给我 You can't call me every day.
凯特琳 我没有每天打电话给你 Caitlin, I do not call you every day.
这只是因为我们时区不同 It just seems that way because of the time difference.
但是我是想让你知道我们要卖这栋房子了 But I want you to know we're selling the house.
你想不想早点从庞贝回来 So you may want to come home from Bombay early.
妈妈 我在孟买啊 Mom, it's Mumbai,
你只是想让我回去帮你整理东西 and you just want me to come home to help you pack.
不是 我想你了 That is not true. I miss you.
这只是因为现在 在你的生活里 It's just because you don't have anything else going on
你已经没有其他事情可以做了 in your life right now.
什么? Excuse me?
因为爸爸的离开 You're just feeling hurt and rejected
你觉得受伤了 被抛弃了 since Dad left.
好吧 谢谢你将这个放进了一个坚果壳里 Well, thanks for putting that in a nutshell
又用它刺伤了我 and stabbing me with it.
好吧 我觉得你是那么出色 Okay, I think you're so brilliant,
你以前拥有那么酷的工作 and you used to have such a cool job.
你真的应该重新工作 You should really go back to work.
好吧 你上课快迟到了 Well, you're gonna be late for class.
明天我在给你打电话 I'll call you tomorrow.
拜拜 妈咪 我爱你 Bye, mom. I love you.
为什么 年龄越大 经验越多 How is that the older and more experienced you are
越不满意现状呢? the less you desirable you become?
你又要讨论你的婚姻吗? You're talking about your marriage again?
不 是找工作的事 No, finding work.
我已经面试了12场了 I have gone on over a dozen interviews,
那些年轻女孩们从我的脸上猜测我的年龄 and these young girls seem to take a special pleasure
好像获得了一种很奇怪的愉悦 in rubbing my age in my face.
噢 你肯定想扇她们 Oh, you must want to spank them.
这就像是 一天早上我醒了 It's like I woke up one day,
然后发现我的婚姻是一个巨大的谎言 realized my marriage was a big lie,
我已经成为布满皱纹的老女人 and I'd become Ruth van wrinkle.
莉萨 那个时候你做了对的事情 Liza, you did the right thing for the time.
不 你才做得对 No, you did the right thing.
你追寻了你的艺术梦想 You followed your artistic dreams,
你深陷女同事件 you stuck with the lesbian thing,
在这事没有众人皆知之前 你搬到了布鲁克林 and you moved to Brooklyn before it become hot.
抱歉 我搬去布鲁克林 Excuse me, I moved to Brooklyn
是因为我在曼哈顿支付不起我的生活 because I couldn't afford Manhattan.
现在 多亏了 那些有胡须的胆小的商人 And now thanks to all these bearded cheese mongers
和那些看起来像麦考利·库尔金的小男孩们 and chicks that look like Macaulay Culkin,
我支付不起在布鲁克林的生活了 I can't afford Brooklyn.
哎呀 我怎么就这样错过了布鲁克林的美好时光呢? Jeez, how did I miss the memo on Brooklyn?
顺便问一下 炸弹港什么时候变成了孟买的一部分的? And by the way, when did Bombay become Mumbai?
你知道吗 你再也不能叫它炸弹港了 You know you can't call it Bombay anymore?
嗯 谁希望在他们的城市名字里 Well, who wants the word "bomb"
有一个"炸弹"呢? in the name of their city anyway?
你知道么 我要去尿尿 You know what, I got to pee.
点吧 嗯 像这么六杯 Order, like, six more of these,
然后我们去跳舞 and then we'll go dancing,
为了今天的劲爽 我可是从1998年 and we'll split that hit of ecstasy I've been saving
矜持到今啊 since 1998.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
打扰一下 先生 Excuse me. Sir.
酒保先生 你好 Mr. bartender. Hello.
你好! Hello!
真的假的? 喂! Really? Hello?
噢 噢 咳 咳 咳 Oh. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
嘿 嘿 嘿 你不能这样挥你的鞋子 Hey, hey, hey. You don't wave a shoe.
永远不要挥鞋子 Never wave a shoe.
在泰国 这是死罪 In Thailand, that's considered a capital offense.
你去过泰国吗? And you've been to Thailand?
没有 但是我去过缅甸 No, but I have been to Myanmar.
- 它曾经被称作博纳 - 很久之前 - Which used to be Burma.- Back in the day.
我知道这个 I knew that.
你在这里喝了些什么? What are you having here?
嗯 小杯的玛格丽特 Uh, skinny Margarita.
六杯 Six of 'em.
真的? 泰勒 来两杯波本威士忌 Really? Tyler, two shots of bourbon.
相信我 Trust me.
我叫约什 Um, I'm Josh.
我叫莉萨 I'm Liza.
那么 这纹身是真的 So are these for real,
还是你想把它们擦掉的时候就能擦掉? or can you scrub 'em off whenever you want to?
把它们擦掉 Scrub them off.
为什么...为什么我会想把它们擦掉? Why would I... why would I want to scrub these off?
对不起 My bad.
你绝对是想带着这些牙齿间 You'll definitely want to take that skull
长着玫瑰花的骷髅头进坟墓的 with the rose between its teeth to your grave.
我...我就是干这个的 我是个纹身艺术家 I... it's what I do. I'm a tattoo artist.
真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我不是有意侮辱你的工作的 I didn't mean to insult your work.
你有自己的会客厅吗? Do you have your own parlor?
会客厅? Parlor?
你不住在这附近吧 是不是? You're not really from around here, are you?
过一个桥就到啦 Just over the bridge.
是啊 我猜到了 Yeah. I figured.
我有自己的工作室 I have my own studio.
不过那倒更像是休息室 It's more of like a lounge, really.
身体艺术是一种很私人的体验 Body art's this really personal experience.
让每个人都感到舒适 这很重要 It's important that everybody feels comfortable.
所以 为了感到舒适而干杯吧 So here's to being comfortable.
你一定接到过很多奇怪的要求 You must get a lot of crazy requests.
你可想象不到啊 Oh, you have no idea.
上周我给莉娜 丹恩(某女演员)的屁股蛋内侧纹了一个身 Last week I tattooed the insides of Lena Dunham's ass cheeks.
什么? 为什么呀? What? Why?
她说想保留点私密的东西给自己 Said she wanted to keep something private.
谁是莉娜 丹恩啊 Who's Lena Dunham?
你好好笑啊 That's funny.
那你呢? 嗯? So what about you? Hmm?
你是做什么的? What do you do?
实际上...实际上我正在找工作 Um, I'm actually... I'm actually looking for work
目前正在找 出版行业的 right now, in publishing.
好吧 进展如何? Okay, and how's that going?
不是太好吧 It could be better.
我中间休假了一段时间 I took a bit of a sabbatical.
很好啊 休假去干嘛了? Nice. Doing what?
我... I...
我写了本小说 Um, worked on a novel.
然后... And, um...
然后我在印度做了一些志愿工作 And I did some volunteer work in India.
- 那很棒啊 - 我知道 - That's amazing. - I know,.
我管它叫做我的"吃饭 祈祷 忍受拉肚子"时期 I call it my "eat, pray, endure chronic diarrhea" period.
我要用一下你的手机 I'm gonna steal your cell phone for a second.
等等 干嘛? Wait a minute. Why?
放轻松啦 胆小鬼 Just relax, scaredy-cat.
你要干嘛? What are you doing?
我要给我的那活儿拍张照片 I'm taking a picture of my junk.
假的 No.
我是要把我排进你的日程里 I'm adding myself to your calendar right here,
下周四 next Thursday.
你这是要约我出去吗? Are you asking me on a date?
你这是要答应吗? Is that a yes?
不好说 我得先看看那活儿的照片再做决定 I don't know. Let me see that junk shot first.
哦老天啊 Oh, my God.
我本以为这么说会很挑逗 I totally thought that was gonna sound flirty,
但说出来的感觉却很变态 but it came out creepy.
要我说 这么说还真是性感啊 It came out really sexy if you ask me.
请把手机还给我 Please give me my phone.
你对我来说太年轻了 You are way too young for me.
等等 等等 我26了 伙计 Whoa, whoa. I'm 26, dude.
我是说 不管怎样 我们都是差不多的年纪啊 I mean, we got to be the same age, give or take.
我的手机 My phone.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 这是我的女朋友玛吉 Hey, this is my girlfriend, Maggie.
我的女性朋友 名叫玛吉 My friend who is a girl, named Maggie.
我们得走了 是的 And we need to get going. Yes.
好吧 Okay.
很高兴见到你 It was very nice to meet you.
- 是啊 - 伙计 - Yeah. - Dude.
我的老天啊 Oh, my God.
你这是干什么? 他多性感啊 Wait, what are you doing? He was hot.
我知道 而且我觉得他刚强奸了我的手机 I know, and I think he raped my phone.
什么? 那快回去啊 What? Get back in there.
不行 不行 他以为我才20多岁 Oh, no, no, no. He thought I was in my 20s.
- 什么? - 是的 - What? - Yes.
这地方到底都在酒里都放了些什么迷魂药啊 What do they put in the drinks in that place,
我们怎么才能就点个白开水喝喝? and how do we get it into the water supply?
你知道么 其实那也不算是 You know, actually that's not
一个很脑残的推测啦 a totally ludicrous assumption.
我们在讨论他的那活儿 We were discussing his junk,
我确信是指他的"小鸡鸡" which I believe means "penis," by the way.
这样吧 你来我这里 我给你看点东西 You know, come over. I want to show you something.
我见过你那诡异的乳头了 I've seen your weird nipple.
才不是那个 No, not that.
看看你自己 Look at yourself.
你身材完美 You've got a great figure,
发型也不错 great hair,
大长腿 great legs.
看看 这就是旁人眼中你的模样 I mean, that's what people see when they look at you.
他们眼中的你不是一个年龄数字 They don't see a number.
酒吧光线太暗了 那哥们儿还喝醉了 The bar was dark, and the guy was drunk.
莉萨 对你这个年纪来说 你看着算年轻的了 Liza, you've always looked good for your age.
我是说 你从30岁之后就没再有啥变化了 I mean, you were getting carded until you were 30.
我知道 但我丈夫还是为了个年轻小姑娘抛弃了我 I know, and my husband still leaves me for a younger woman.
还不够讽刺? How's that for irony?
你能不能停止自怨自艾 Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself
然后听听我说的话? and listen to me?
怎么 没人愿意雇一个40岁的老女人做员工? What, no one wants to hire a 40-year-old has-been?
那告诉他们你才26 Tell 'em you're 26.
你疯了吗? 不会有人相信的 Are you insane? Nobody's gonna believe that.
人们会相信你所告诉他们的 People believe what you tell them.
他们相信《真实主妇》(脑残真人秀)是真的 They believe The Real Housewives are real.
他们相信椰子汁能让他们的屁股变紧绷 They think that coconut water is gonna shrink their ass.
他们会相信你26的 They'll believe you're 26.
我得打点高光 I'm gonna need some highlights.
姐们儿 我们要做的比那多多了 Oh, girl, we're going way bigger than that.
谁是你的灵感源泉? Who inspires you?
凯特尼斯 伊夫狄恩(饥饿游戏大表姐) Katniss Everdeen.
最爱的乐队 Favorite band.
单向乐队 One Direction.
再具体点? More specifically?
哈里 Harry.
你准备好了 You're ready.
好极了 Yes.
嗯 Hmm.
你毕业已经有... You've been out of school for...
四年了? Four years?
是的 Mm-hmm.
那你一直在做什么? What have you been doing?
主要是在印度做志愿工作 Mostly volunteer work in India
还有写小说 and working on a novel.
哦 这样啊... Oh. Well...
我知道了 I see.
如今你准备好投入真实的生活了 And now you're ready for some real life.
我准备好工作了 I'm ready for a job.
是 我很抱歉的是这里没有太多 Yes, well, I'm sorry to say there's not a lot here
需要你积极的工作态度的地方 that suggests a work ethic.
额... 我达特茅斯毕业的 Uh... Dartmouth.
每一个来这里申请工作的年轻人 Every young person who applies for this job
都是常春藤名校英语专业的学生 is an Ivy league English major.
你能每天在这里接8小时电话 Can you answer phones for eight hours at a stretch
中间不开小差发短信给你朋友吗? without texting your friends?
你能泡好浓咖啡 从不喷香水 Can you make strong coffee, never wear perfume,
并且不让我烦躁吗? and not annoy me?
可以 你能给我些指导意见吗? Okay, could you give me some guidelines?
我是说 什么样的才算是讨人烦的行为? I mean, regarding what constitutes annoying behavior?
- 这就是个招人烦的问题 - 知道了 - That's an annoying question. - Noted.
我不是来给你什么指导意见的 I'm not here to give you guidelines
或者握着你的手 或者 老天啊 or hold your hand or, God forbid, ever read
再也别读你那本从上大学开始就在写的小说 that novel you've been working on since college.
我明白 I understand.
我是非常肯干的人 I'm a very hard worker.
我会弄明白怎样把你的生活打理的井井有条 I will figure out how to make your life easier
怎么样不让你生气 and how never to annoy you.
告诉我 莱斯利 Tell me, Leslie,
是什么让你觉得自己很... what would you say makes you...
特别? special?
我是个成年人了 I'm a grown-up.
我不觉得自己特别 I don't think I'm special.
太棒了 太棒了 Yes. Yes.
嘿 我是玛吉 请留言 Hey, it's Maggie. Leave a message.
玛姬 你不会相信的 Maggie, you won't believe this.
我得到那份工作了 I got the job.
我给戴安娜 特劳特工作 行业的老大 I am working for Diana Trout, head of marketing.
26岁 26.
- 恭喜你 - 噢 - Congrats. - Oh.
谢谢 Thanks.
或者我应该说 哀悼你 Or maybe I should say, my condolences.
- 什么? - 噢 不好意思 - Excuse me? - Oh. Sorry.
我是凯尔西 彼得斯 I'm Kelsey Peters.
是这里的编辑 I'm an editor here,
我看见你去见戴安娜 特劳特了 and I saw you meeting with Diana Trout.
我是莉萨 米勒 Liza Miller.
我也知道她可不是省油的灯 And I'm sure she's no picnic,
但还是很高兴我得到了这份工作 but I'm just really happy to have a job.
当然了 Of course.
我不是有意在你高兴的时候泼冷水的 I didn't mean to shit in your cheerios.
- 嗯.. - 这真的是一个很棒的公司 - Okay. - It's a pretty cool company.
我从大学毕业以后就在这工作了 I started working here right out of college
做助理 as an assistant,
就在六个月前我刚刚晋升为初级编辑 and I just made junior editor six months ago.
- 哇喔 - 是啊 - Wow. - Yeah.
所以说 基本上你就是两年前的我 So basically I was you two years ago.
你可以这么说 If you say so.
所以戴安娜 特劳特是怎么回事? So what's the problem with Diana Trout?
特劳特的问题就是 The problem with Trout Pout
已经43了 而且还离了婚 is that she's 43 and divorced.
哇喔 真悲剧 Wow. Tragic.
她看到这我们这些带着 She sees girls like us come in here
年轻卵巢和因为自然弹力圆润的脸蛋 with our fresh ovaries and our faces plumped
的姑娘来到这里 with natural elasticity
她就想毁了我们 and she just wants to destroy us.
好吧 谢谢你的警告 Well, thanks for the warning.
没事 这叫做提前投资 No problem. It's called paying it forward.
就像霉霉说的 地狱里总有一个特别的位置 As Taylor Swift said, there is a special place in hell
给那些不帮助其他女人的女人 for women who don't help other women.
我支持你 姑娘 I've got your back, girl.
谢谢了 Thanks.
姑娘 Girl.
我要你去为简 奥斯汀注册个推 I need you to set up a Twitter account for Jane Austen
然后发有关她的推 and start writing her tweets.
简 奥斯汀? 死了的那个简 奥斯汀? Jane Austen? Dead Jane Austen?
是的 我们正在发行 傲慢与偏见的 Yes, we're releasing Pride and Prejudice
电子书 as an ebook.
我们需要在推特上造造势 We need to make some noise in the twitterverse.
- 你想让我发推? - 以简的身份 - Yo me tweet? - As Jane.
你是聋吗? 这就是你在达特茅斯学到的? Are you deaf? Is that how you got into Dartmouth?
不 当然不是 No, of course not.
发到脸书 再创建个主页 Put it on Facebook and Match.com.
还有基督徒交友网 And ChristianMingle.
咖啡不够热! Not hot enough!
嘿 姑娘 第一天如何呀? Hey, lady. How's the first day going?
噢 很不错 真的不错 Oh, it's going great. Really great.
挺好 继续努力 Hanging in. Good.
下班以后你想和几个朋友去玩 You want to come join some friends after work
近身格斗么? for Krav Maga?
当然了 听起来很有趣 Sure. That sounds fun.
我想想 那是打羽毛球还是鸡尾酒来着? Refresh my memory. Is that a bird or cocktail?
你真搞笑 You're funny.
我的天 你刚才真是太厉害了 Oh, my God, you totally kicked ass in there.
我怎么觉得是我太弱了 More like I got my ass kicked.
莉萨 这是劳伦 Liza, this is Lauren.
她在赫克托多夫联合公司做国际法专家 She's a publicist at Hector and Dorf.
嘿 噢 不好意思 Hey, oh, I'm so sorry.
我好想不下心一拳打你胸上了 I think I accidentally punched you in the tit.
- 噢 没事 - 嘿 一起喝一杯吧 - Oh, it's all good. - Hey, come have a drink.
我想让你见见萨德 I want you to meet Thad.
- 萨德是谁? - 是我男朋友 - Who's Thad? - He's my boyfriend.
他是做对冲基金的 He's a hedge fund guy,
但不要用这个讽刺他 but don't hold that against him.
他很不错 好的 He's really great. Cool.
啊 我的天 Oh, my God.
- 怎么了? - 怎么了? - What? - What?
你的阴毛 That bush.
哇喔 Wow.
噢 看起来和我妈妈的一样 Oh, it looks like my mother's vagina.
你不修剪吗? Don't you wax?
我 呃...我在印度待了三年 刚刚回来 I, uh... I just came back from three years in India.
嘿 我能把你的阴毛放到ins上吗? Hey, can I put the bush up on instagram
给赫克托多夫联合公司的员工们看看? for Hector and Dorf?
他们一直在找灵感 They're always looking for inspiration.
不行 不可以 No, you may not.
而且你的消息 我把它叫做威斯康星 And for your information,I call it a Wisconsin.
那么 你是哪年从达特茅斯毕业的? So what year did you say you graduated Dartmouth?
噢 那已经是 老天... Oh, that must have been, God...
08年的事情了 '08.
噢 那你一定知道克雷格 福勒 Oh, so you must know Craig Fowler.
噢是的 人人都知道福勒 Oh, yeah. Everybody knows Fowler.
福勒喜欢女孩子 Fowler loved the ladies.
福勒是个同性恋 Fowler is gay.
噢 对 Right.
他喜欢和女孩子做朋友 He loved the ladies as friends,
他爱的是那些身材火辣的哥们 and he loved the dudes for the hot sex.
宝贝 我杯空了 Babe, I'm empty here.
噢 不好意思 我一会儿就回来 Oh, sorry. I'll be right back.
是啊 他在我们这工作 Yeah, he works at our firm,
但我觉得他是06届的 but I think he was '06,
但是我猜你们认识很多共同的朋友 but I bet you guys know a ton of people in common.
应该不会 我当时不怎么社交 No, I didn't have much of a social life.
我参加了不少静坐抗议 I participated in a lot of sit-ins,
所以 几乎每个周末 我都得去警局走一圈 so I got arrested, like, every weekend.
然后你又去印度呆了三年 And then you spent three years in India.
- 是啊 这个 - 你在那都做什么? - Yeah, about that. - Doing what?
给不同的慈善组织工作 Working for various charity organizations.
比如说... Such as...
不好意思 这是查户口么? Excuse me, is this a background check?
噢 不 不 我只是很好奇 Oh, no, no. I'm just curious.
我觉得很酷 I think it's cool.
酷? Cool?
是啊 这一点也不酷 萨德 Yeah, it wasn't cool, Thad.
那是战区 It was a war zone.
那里是真正的贫困地 That's what real poverty is;
是个战区 it's a war zone.
那里各种悲惨 卫生不好 With all its attended misery, bad hygiene,
还有贫困 and deprivation.
这就是你阴毛变灰的原因吗? Is that why your bush turned gray?
是啊 Yeah.
部分变灰 Partially gray.
也许是因为我看到的 'Cause of some of the things I saw,
或者是我闻到的 and maybe some of the things I smelled.
我也不知道 Yeah, I don't know.
我还没弄清楚呢 I have quite processed it all yet.
哇哦 Wow.
我问你 Let me ask you something,
你看过不少小妹妹对吧 you've seen a lot of vaginas, right?
嗯 不多也不少吧 Hmm, I've seen my fair share.
那... So...
现在流行什么调调的了? What's in style?
为什么问这个? Why do you ask?
呃 昨天晚上在健身房 Well, last night at the gym,
换衣服的时候我吃了一惊 I was almost busted when I was changing.
原来现在二十几岁的女孩子们下面都看起来像不满十二岁 Apparently nobody under 30 looks a day over 12 down there.
我认识有人能帮到你这个 I've got someone that can help you with that.
我认识一个女孩子...呃 应该说她已经变成他了 I know this girl... well,technically she's a man now,
但是他很专业 but he's great.
哦天啊 这太荒谬了 Oh, God, this is insane.
那就留着你的"灌木丛"吧 So keep the bush.
我的意思是说 我听说 现在这样又流行起来了 I mean, I hear it's coming back in style, anyways.
不 我是说 我以为我能做到这个是疯了 No, I mean, insane thinking I can get away with this.
我真的想要用 Do I really want to trade
我的体面 智慧 尊严 my dignity, wisdom, and self-respect
去在我二十几岁换多一次机会吗 for another chance at my 20s?
是的 Yes.
是的你想 Yes, you do.
简·奥斯汀有超过一千个粉丝啦 Jane Austen has over 1,000 followers.
那多厉害啊 How cool is that?
我应该为此祝贺你吗? Am I supposed to congratulate you?
不，我只是想 No, I just thought...
只是希望能因为你的工作 Just expected a gold star
得一颗小星星什么的 for doing your job.
这就是你们这一代人的问题 莱斯利 That's the problem with your generation, Leslie.
好吧 顺便... Right. By the way...
我有个关于《傲慢与偏见》的再版的想法 I have another idea for the Pride and Prejudice reissue.
也许我们可以找 J.K. 罗琳 Maybe we could ask a writer like J.K. Rowling
或者斯蒂芬妮 梅耶尔 or Stephenie Meyer
这样的作家来写前言 to write an intro.
市场反应一定很好 It would be a really great marketing hook.
哦 这就是你所谓的 Oh, is that your idea
很棒的卖书方法? of a really great marketing hook?
找一个世界级的 Poaching a world-class writer
还不是我们出版社的作家 from a rival publishing house
来推广我们要再版的书? to promote one of our reissues?
要开会了 It's time for a staff meeting.
你应该去帮我拿咖啡 You should be fetching me coffee.
而不是在这给我乱出主意 Not pitching me ridiculous ideas.
你说的没错 她就是这么坏 You're right. She is that bad.
早告诉你了 你只需要再拍她一年马屁 Told you; You got to just suck it up for at least a year,
加上我的帮忙 你就可以搞到她了 and then with my help,you could have her job.
什么 不不 我有份工作就知足了 What? No. I'm just happy to have a job.
莉萨 戴安娜 特劳特已经43岁了 Liza, Trout Pout is 43.
她说自己41岁 但是相信我 我知道 She says she's 41, but, trust me, I know.
她在年龄的事上撒了谎 She lies about her age.
真可悲 How pathetic is that?
哈 超可悲的 Ha. Totes pathetic.
井号标签 :可悲 Hashtag pathetic.
完全同意 Exactly.
她撞上"看不见的天花板"太多次 She's hit her head on the glass ceiling so many times,
都已经撞傻了 she's got dementia.
凯尔西 我不懂 Kelsey, I don't understand.
你这么能干的女人 You are such a strong woman at work,
为什么一旦遇上萨德就... but then around Thad...
一旦遇上萨德就怎么? What? What about Thad?
我只是不喜欢他那样对待你 I just don't like the way he treats you.
你在说什么啊 What are you talking about?
你会显得有点奴颜婢膝? A little subservient?
你不能让他骑在你的头上 You can't let men get away with that.
妹子 我愿意为我的男人做事 Girl, I like doing things for my man.
眼睛放亮点 朱迪法官 Lighten up, judge Judy.
亚马逊答应给我们三天的头版广告 Amazon is promising us the home page for three days.
我们也要在高中里面 We're also providing free interactive study guides
提供免费的互动课程 to every high school.
嗯嗯，好主意 Well, love the art,
但是还不够好 but we're going to need a better hook
如果我们想要卖书出去的话 if you want us to market these.
不然我们请我们出版社高知名度的作家 What if we got a world-class author from our own stable
来给奥斯汀的书作序怎么样？ to write the intros to the Austen books?
詹妮弗 维纳儿 的新书下个月要发布了 Jennifer Weiner's book drops next month,
我恰巧知道她超爱奥斯汀的 and I happen to know she loves Austen.
太棒了 Perfect.
好吧 这个混蛋是谁？ All right, who's the gangster?
你是说真的？ Are you serious?
滚出去！ Get out!
不好意思不好意思 Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
天啊 发生了什么 Oh, my God, what is happening?
我什么也不知道 Give me that. I have no idea.
有人拿着我的手机乱鼓捣了 Somebody's been messing with my phone.
嗯 Hmm.
看起来你和约什 Looks like you have a date tonight
今天晚上有个约会嘛 with Josh.
约什还是挺不错的 And Josh is cute.
他要带你去哪? Where is he taking you?
呃 不 我不能去 Uh, no, I can't.
戴安娜 特劳特已经给我排满了工作 Trout Pout has me buried with work.
莉萨 你疯了吗 Liza, are you crazy?
我们只有一次二十岁 We're only in our 20s once.
我知道 你说得没错 确实是这样 I know, you're right. It's true.
那你就应该好好享受 Well, you got to live it.
不然 一转眼 你就四十几岁了 Before you know it, you're gonna be in your 40s,
生活在郊区的房子里 living in a house in the suburbs
老公只会整夜看电视 with a husband who watches TV all night
你只能在浴缸里面 拿着花洒 while you're in your bathtub, spritzing your shower hose
喷你自个儿的特殊部位 on our special place.
通常大家都叫那个部位叫墙 I think they call it a wand.
帮我化下妆 Help me with my makeup.
好的 Yes.
凯特琳 你还好吗? Caitlin, hey. Is everything okay?
妈 你去哪儿了? Mom, where have you been?
你都一周没给我打电话了 You haven't called in a week.
你不是需要私人空间嘛 I was trying to give you your space.
那也是不让你就无视我啊 Well, I didn't mean for you to ignore me.
对不起 孟买怎么样 I'm sorry. How's Mumbai?
我想家了 I miss home,
我也想你了 妈妈 and I miss you, mom.
拜托你不要卖房子 Please don't sell the house.
别担心 我们还可以再找别的 Don't worry. We'll find another.
我只是不能接受 It's just all hitting me.
你知道 你和爸爸 You know, you and Dad,
这一切都...太难以接受了 而且 and it's just so sad, and...
咖喱难吃死了 I hate curry.
一切都会好起来的 It's gonna be okay.
我保证 I promise.
我想要回家了 I want to come home.
那就回来吧 Then come home.
回家吧 宝贝儿 Come home, honey.
回去住哪呢? Where will we live?
我们会找到地方的 We'll figure it out.
我爱你 宝贝 I love you, honey.
明天再给你打电话 好吗? I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
嘿！ Hey!
胆小鬼! Scaredy-cat!
你这是要去哪？ Where you going?
去见你 Just coming to meet you.
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