1
00:00:13,092 --> 00:00:14,693
HI. I'M ROSEANNE BARR,
2
00:00:14,695 --> 00:00:17,062
AND, UH, HERE I AM...
3
00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:22,233
I DON'T KNOW, TALKING
ENDLESSLY ABOUT THE
TELEVISION SHOW ROSEANNE.
4
00:00:22,235 --> 00:00:26,571
THIS IS, UH, I GUESS THE
4th SEASON HALLOWEEN SHOW.
5
00:00:26,573 --> 00:00:31,209
AND THE HALLOWEEN SHOW
WAS ALWAYS, LIKE, MY
VERY FAVORITE THING TO DO
6
00:00:31,211 --> 00:00:35,146
BECAUSE, UH, WHEN I WANTED
TO BE ON TELEVISION,
7
00:00:35,148 --> 00:00:37,348
I JUST WANTED TO BE ON
TELEVISION SO I COULD
8
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:39,651
BREAK ALL THE RULES
OF TELEVISION.
9
00:00:39,653 --> 00:00:41,620
AND THE FIRST RULE THAT
WAS VERY EXCITING TO BREAK
10
00:00:41,622 --> 00:00:44,390
WAS THE ONE WHERE THEY WOULDN'T
LET YOU HAVE A HALLOWEEN SHOW.
11
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,758
AND, UH, PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW THAT 'CAUSE IT'S JUST
12
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,094
ALL OVER THE PLACE NOW.
EVERYBODY'S GOT
A HALLOWEEN SHOW.
13
00:00:49,096 --> 00:00:52,064
BUT THEY ACTUALLY FOUGHT
WITH US AND DIDN'T WANT
A HALLOWEEN SHOW
14
00:00:52,066 --> 00:00:54,266
BECAUSE THEY SAID
PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE BELT
15
00:00:54,268 --> 00:00:57,435
THOUGHT HOW HALLOWEEN
WAS A SATANIC HOLIDAY.
16
00:00:57,437 --> 00:01:01,739
AND, UH, I GO, "NO, THEY
DON'T. IT'S ABOUT CANDY."
17
00:01:01,741 --> 00:01:04,476
SO WE JUST KEPT
KNOCKIN' AND KNOCKIN'
18
00:01:04,478 --> 00:01:06,244
'TILL THEY FINALLY SAID OK.
19
00:01:06,246 --> 00:01:08,380
AND, UH, SO THAT WAS
JUST REALLY FUN.
20
00:01:08,382 --> 00:01:11,283
AND WE ALWAYS, LIKE,
WENT WAY OUT ON HALLOWEEN.
21
00:01:11,285 --> 00:01:12,918
IS EVERYTHING OK?
22
00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:27,032
HELLO.
23
00:01:27,034 --> 00:01:30,169
SHE'S GOOD. SHE WAS
REALLY FUN TO WORK WITH.
24
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:31,770
HER NAME'S MEAGAN, I THINK.
25
00:01:33,674 --> 00:01:35,507
I DON'T...WHAT IS HER
NAME? DOES ANYONE KNOW?
26
00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:36,608
Man: MEAGAN FAY.
27
00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:39,678
HUH? MEAGAN FAYE.
28
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,679
IS ANYBODY HO--
29
00:01:43,383 --> 00:01:46,618
AAAHH!
30
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:51,190
WE REALLY WERE GOIN' ALL OUT
WITH THE PROPS AND BUDGET.
31
00:01:51,192 --> 00:01:53,391
WHAT IS IT, CATHY?
I'VE HAD A REALLY BAD DAY,
32
00:01:53,393 --> 00:01:55,494
AND NOW I'VE GOT
ALL THIS CLEANING UP TO DO.
33
00:01:55,496 --> 00:01:57,896
AND IT FULFILLED MY
FANTASY OF WANTING TO PLAY
34
00:01:57,898 --> 00:01:59,465
A CRAZY SERIAL KILLER, TOO.
35
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,400
I REMEMBER THIS ONE.
36
00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:04,570
I THINK I'M KIND
OF SCARY THERE.
37
00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,639
HOW MANY TIMES
I'VE SAID IT TO MYSELF--
38
00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:09,942
"IT'S JUST LIKE
GUTTING A FISH."
39
00:02:09,944 --> 00:02:12,945
I SWEAR I WAS WAY
BETTER THE LAST TIME.
40
00:02:12,947 --> 00:02:14,847
THE LAST TIME?
41
00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:17,950
WE ALWAYS SAID THE REASON
THE CONNERS WERE BROKE
42
00:02:17,952 --> 00:02:20,920
IS BECAUSE THEY SPENT ALL
THEIR MONEY FOR HALLOWEEN.
43
00:02:20,922 --> 00:02:23,055
AND WE'D JOKE
AROUND AND SAY,
44
00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:24,823
"WE'D LOVE TO SEND
YOU GUYS TO COLLEGE,
45
00:02:24,825 --> 00:02:27,226
BUT THAT'S
8 HALLOWEENS AWAY."
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00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:29,061
OH, NO, YOU CAN'T GO.
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00:02:29,063 --> 00:02:30,062
YOU'LL TELL.
48
00:02:30,064 --> 00:02:31,664
NO, I WON'T. I PROMISE.
49
00:02:31,666 --> 00:02:33,399
I WON'T TELL. PLEASE.
50
00:02:33,401 --> 00:02:35,167
LET ME GO.
UH...OH...
51
00:02:35,169 --> 00:02:36,201
LIVER?
52
00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:37,970
AAAHHH!
53
00:02:37,972 --> 00:02:41,140
THIS LADY WAS GREAT
IN THE 4th SEASON.
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00:02:41,142 --> 00:02:43,343
AND THE 4th SEASON, I REALLY
WANTED TO TALK ABOUT, LIKE,
55
00:02:43,345 --> 00:02:45,944
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU
GET AROUND RICH PEOPLE
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00:02:45,946 --> 00:02:47,913
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN
POOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE,
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00:02:47,915 --> 00:02:50,450
WHICH HAPPENED TO ME
BECAUSE OF THIS SHOW.
58
00:02:50,452 --> 00:02:52,319
AND SHE KINDA WAS, UH,
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00:02:52,321 --> 00:02:54,720
I WANTED A NEIGHBOR WHO
WAS LIKE ALL THE PEOPLE
60
00:02:54,722 --> 00:02:58,057
I WAS STARTING TO MEET
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
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00:02:58,059 --> 00:03:02,162
YOU KNOW, HON, EVERY
TIME WE DO THIS, PEOPLE
GET SO TICKED OFF.
62
00:03:02,164 --> 00:03:04,429
YEAH. WHEN WILL WE LEARN?
63
00:03:04,431 --> 00:03:05,797
HEH HEH HEH.
64
00:03:10,104 --> 00:03:14,606
WELL, THAT WAS IN MY ROSEANNE
ARNOLD INCARNATION, I SUPPOSE.
65
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:19,578
I THINK IT WAS
LIKE PRE-NOSE JOB,
PRE-FACE LIFT.
66
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:25,717
LOOK AT D.J. THERE.
HE WAS JUST A LITTLE BABY.
67
00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,087
HE WAS ABOUT
8 YEARS OLD.
68
00:03:27,089 --> 00:03:29,654
NOW HE'S THE FATHER
OF 2 CHILDREN.
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00:03:29,656 --> 00:03:30,756
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
70
00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:32,925
SARA'S A MOTHER, TOO.
71
00:03:32,927 --> 00:03:36,296
ALICIA, SHE'S MANAGED
TO STAY SINGLE.
72
00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:37,429
THERE'S LAURIE.
73
00:03:37,431 --> 00:03:39,232
SHE'S GOT
A TON OF KIDS.
74
00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:46,538
A LOT OF BABIES WERE BORN
DURING THE MAKING
OF THIS SHOW FOR SURE.
75
00:03:58,319 --> 00:04:00,519
BOY, WE GOT CATHY GOOD.
76
00:04:00,521 --> 00:04:02,088
SHE ALMOST LOST IT.
77
00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:05,158
YEAH, DAMN GOOD
BLADDER CONTROL, THOUGH.
78
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,261
WELL, THANK YOU.
I DID LAUGH PRETTY HARD.
79
00:04:10,499 --> 00:04:12,766
LISTEN, I'M
GOIN' OUT TONIGHT.
80
00:04:12,768 --> 00:04:14,300
OH, YOU GONNA
BE HOME FOR DINNER?
81
00:04:14,302 --> 00:04:15,702
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT ARE WE HAVING?
82
00:04:15,704 --> 00:04:16,703
LIVER.
LIVER.
83
00:04:16,705 --> 00:04:17,971
HA, HA,
HA, HA.
84
00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:21,107
GOD, I WISH I HAD
AN ADULT ROLE MODEL.
85
00:04:21,109 --> 00:04:23,410
THERE'S THE FRIDGE WHERE
WE KEPT ALL THE FAN LETTERS
86
00:04:23,412 --> 00:04:24,977
IN THE FREEZER.
87
00:04:24,979 --> 00:04:26,245
ESPECIALLY THE OBSCENE ONES,
88
00:04:26,247 --> 00:04:29,315
WHICH WE READ OUT
LOUD TO ALL NEWCOMERS.
89
00:04:29,317 --> 00:04:33,286
WE HAD A COUPLE OF REALLY
OBSCENE CRAZY PEOPLE WHO
90
00:04:33,288 --> 00:04:39,192
HAD, LIKE, REALLY WEIRD
LETTERS THAT WE WOULD
READ ALL THE TIME.
91
00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:42,829
AND THEY ALWAYS TRIED
TO MAKE ME LAUGH ON
THAT ROUNDTABLE THING.
92
00:04:42,831 --> 00:04:45,699
NOTHIN' WAS EVER TOO FUNNY.
93
00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:47,033
WAS THAT INTERESTING?
94
00:04:47,035 --> 00:04:48,034
Man: YES.
95
00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:50,303
EH...WHATEVER.
96
00:04:50,305 --> 00:04:52,539
YEAH, I ALSO USED TO
WANT TO MARRY SCOTT BAIO.
97
00:04:58,147 --> 00:05:00,080
OH, YOU LOOK GREAT!
98
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:02,149
WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?
99
00:05:04,987 --> 00:05:09,089
I TOLD YOU, HONEY. YOU'RE
ALFALFA OF THE LITTLE RASCALS.
100
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:11,559
I WANT TO BE THE TERMINATOR.
101
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:15,462
NO! NO D.J., EVERYBODY'S
THE TERMINATOR.
YOU LOOK CUTE.
102
00:05:15,464 --> 00:05:17,597
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK CUTE.
103
00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:19,098
HONEY, LET ME.
104
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,768
WE THOUGHT THAT D.J.
HAD A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT.
105
00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:23,103
OR MICHAEL FISHMAN.
106
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:26,073
UNTIL WE FOUND OUT
IN I THINK IT WAS
THE 3rd SEASON
107
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,075
THAT HE HAS
A RUSSIAN ACCENT.
108
00:05:29,077 --> 00:05:30,710
THAT WAS VERY SHOCKING.
109
00:05:30,712 --> 00:05:33,347
WE WERE, LIKE, OH,
'CAUSE HIS GRANDFATHER
WAS, YOU KNOW,
110
00:05:33,349 --> 00:05:37,050
FROM CHINA AND RUSSIA,
AND HE SPOKE
WITH A HEAVY ACCENT,
111
00:05:37,052 --> 00:05:38,752
AND MICHAEL HUNG
OUT WITH HIM A LOT.
112
00:05:38,754 --> 00:05:41,922
AND WE'D GO, OH,
IT'S A RUSSIAN ACCENT.
113
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,990
IT'S NOT
A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT.
114
00:05:43,992 --> 00:05:46,660
THEN YOU JUST DO
WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT
AND LEAVE ME OUT OF IT.
115
00:05:46,662 --> 00:05:48,529
HE'S SO CUTE.
116
00:05:48,531 --> 00:05:50,464
I JUST DON'T GET IT
ANYMORE, DAN.
117
00:05:50,466 --> 00:05:54,268
YEAH. I REMEMBER WHEN
HALLOWEEN USED TO MEAN
SOMETHIN' AROUND HERE.
118
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:58,105
REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO
THROW FLAMING BAGS OF DOG DOO
119
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:01,708
OVER ON THE HENDERSONS'
LAWN AS A FAMILY?
120
00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,445
HALLOWEEN WAS THE FAMILY'S
RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY.
121
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:09,349
AS JOHN GOODMAN SAID ON LARRY
KING, "THEY WERE SATANISTS."
122
00:06:09,351 --> 00:06:11,585
BUT I LOVED HALLOWEEN
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
123
00:06:11,587 --> 00:06:12,819
I JUST LOVED IT.
124
00:06:12,821 --> 00:06:14,588
IT WAS MY FAVORITE
HOLIDAY, AND IT STILL IS.
125
00:06:14,590 --> 00:06:17,791
I THINK IT'S ABOUT
THE CANDY MORE THAN IT
IS ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.
126
00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:20,061
HOW AWESOME IT IS TO GO
DOOR TO DOOR AND, LIKE,
127
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:22,563
DEMAND THAT PEOPLE
GIVE YOU CANDY.
128
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,131
IT'S JUST
THE GREATEST HOLIDAY.
129
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,067
WHOEVER CAME UP WITH
THAT WAS A GENIUS.
130
00:06:26,069 --> 00:06:30,104
I WILL TURN YOU
INTO A SCIENCE
EXPERIMENT GONE BERSERK.
131
00:06:30,106 --> 00:06:33,808
NO, THANKS. SORRY.
WHAT'S WITH THE BLOOD?
132
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,477
OH, I KILLED DAN.
133
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,045
OF COURSE.
134
00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:41,816
LAURIE. IT WAS
SO FUN TO WORK WITH
LAURIE EVERY DAY.
135
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,152
YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT
SHE WAS GONNA DO.
136
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,754
YOU NEVER KNEW HOW
SHE WAS GONNA REACT.
137
00:06:46,756 --> 00:06:49,758
SHE REALLY WAS STARTING TO
BE REALLY FUNNY AROUND...
138
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,225
SHE WAS ALWAYS FUNNY,
BUT 4th SEASON,
139
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:53,695
WE WERE REALLY
PUSHIN' IT FOR LAURIE
140
00:06:53,697 --> 00:06:56,363
BECAUSE WE JUST LOVED TO
WATCH WHAT SHE CAME UP WITH.
141
00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:58,365
AND WE DECIDED IN 4th SEASON
142
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:00,968
THAT WE WANTED HER TO BE
MORE LIKE BARNEY FIFE
143
00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:02,904
WHO, YOU KNOW, SHE LOVED--
144
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,439
THE KIND OF LIKE HAVING
THE BIG SELF-ESTEEM
145
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,676
AND NOT A LOT OF STUFF
TO BACK IT UP WITH.
146
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:10,845
SO WE MADE HER A TRUCKER AND
ALL KINDS OF THINGS LIKE THAT
147
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,147
TO WATCH HER DO
THE BARNEY FIFE TAKES.
148
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:17,686
AND WE ACTUALLY TOOK, UM...
GOD, I'M IGNORANT.
149
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,121
WHAT'S HIS NAME THAT
PLAYED BARNEY FIFE?
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
150
00:07:20,123 --> 00:07:21,556
Man: DON KNOTTS.
151
00:07:21,558 --> 00:07:23,692
DON KNOTTS. I'M SO OLD,
I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
152
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:26,027
BUT SHE ACTUALLY, LIKE,
WOULD TAKE HIM TO LUNCH
153
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,730
AND TALK TO HIM AND
INTERVIEW HIM ABOUT, LIKE,
154
00:07:28,732 --> 00:07:31,666
THE PSYCHOLOGY
OF BARNEY FIFE.
155
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,469
SHE REALLY, REALLY GOT
IT IN THE 4th SEASON.
156
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:36,537
IT WAS SO HILARIOUS.
157
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,239
A GIRL BARNEY FIFE. WE
THOUGHT THAT WAS AWESOME.
158
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,174
MOM.
159
00:07:44,514 --> 00:07:46,147
WHERE ARE MY HAND GRENADES?
160
00:07:46,149 --> 00:07:49,217
IN YOUR BOTTOM DRAWER.
WHERE ELSE WOULD THEY BE?
161
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,051
OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
162
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,487
THAT WAS A FUNNY LINE.
163
00:07:52,489 --> 00:07:55,556
WE HAD A HAND GRENADE
IN THE SINK BEHIND ME...
164
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,725
WE PUT THERE IN RIGHT
NEXT TO THE ASPIRIN.
165
00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:01,496
LOOKS LIKE I CAN'T
SEE IT RIGHT NOW.
166
00:08:01,498 --> 00:08:04,565
BUT, UH, THAT WAS IN CASE
ROSEANNE EVER REALLY
167
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,833
HAD HAD ENOUGH. SHE WAS
GONNA FALL ON THE GRENADE
168
00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:11,072
AND TAKE THE WHOLE FAMILY
AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH HER.
169
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:19,247
WE HAD THE GREATEST, UH,
WARDROBE PERSON--ERIN QUIGLEY,
170
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:23,284
AND, UH, ERIN CAME UP WITH
ALL THE COSTUMES.
171
00:08:23,286 --> 00:08:26,721
SHE, UH, WORKED WITH STEPPENWOLF
THEATER AND WAS, UH, BROUGHT
172
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,456
TO OUR SHOW
BY LAURIE METCALF,
173
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:30,425
WHO WAS A FOUNDER
OF STEPPENWOLF THEATER,
174
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:34,596
A HUGE PRESTIGIOUS
AND INCREDIBLE THEATER
COMPANY IN CHICAGO.
175
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,764
SO IT'S ERIN
THAT CAME UP WITH ALL THESE
176
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,433
AND DID THE DRAWINGS.
177
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,069
ERIN IS A GREAT
ARTIST RIGHT NOW.
178
00:08:41,071 --> 00:08:44,139
SHE'S DOING THESE PORTRAITS
THAT ARE SOME OF THE GREATEST,
179
00:08:44,141 --> 00:08:46,807
UH, ART YOU'VE EVER SEEN.
180
00:08:46,809 --> 00:08:49,744
TRY TO COVER
YOUR HAIR COLOR
DU JOUR.
181
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:53,514
BUT IT WAS FUN WAITING
TO SEE WHAT SHE WAS
GONNA COME UP WITH.
182
00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:56,317
I'M SORRY...
BUT I PUT A LOT OF...
183
00:08:56,319 --> 00:08:58,086
IN FACT, SOMETIMES WE
SAY THAT THE ENTIRE SHOW
184
00:08:58,088 --> 00:08:59,954
REALLY HAPPENED
IN THE WARDROBE ROOM,
185
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:03,658
WHERE ME, LAURIE, AND
ERIN AND MARY QUIGLEY,
186
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,293
WHO WERE
THE WARDROBE PEOPLE,
187
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,262
WE'D SIT AND GO, "HERE'S
SOMETHIN' WE SHOULD DO.
188
00:09:07,264 --> 00:09:08,630
HERE'S SOMETHIN'
WE SHOULD DO."
189
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,932
AND, UH, THEN WE'D
TAKE IT TO THE WRITERS.
190
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:13,901
SO, EVERYONE HUNG OUT
IN THE WARDROBE ROOM.
191
00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:15,570
IT WAS RIGHT NEXT
TO THE CRAFT SERVICE,
192
00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:18,874
AND YOU'D GO GET
YOUR COFFEE AND YOUR DONUT
AND GO IN THERE.
193
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:20,909
ARNIE, DID HE SEE ME?
194
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:22,477
I DON'T THINK SO.
195
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,846
BUT I WOULDN'T HANG
NEAR THE FREE FOOD
TOO LONG.
196
00:09:23,848 --> 00:09:24,780
OK. RIGHT.
197
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,918
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
BOTH CAME AS CHER.
198
00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,223
Arnie: JACKIE. JACKIE.
199
00:09:35,225 --> 00:09:37,325
SO CLOSE.
200
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,927
I GOT A SITUATION HERE.
201
00:09:38,929 --> 00:09:42,163
OH, THERE'S TOM ARNOLD
AS ELVIS. I REMEMBER THAT.
202
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,668
I THINK THAT'S WHERE
HE DYED HIS HAIR BLACK
IN REAL LIFE
203
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:51,507
AND, UH, WAS REALLY WANTIN'
TO LOOK LIKE ELVIS THERE.
204
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:54,710
IN REAL LIFE,
HE DYED HIS HAIR BLACK
205
00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:56,444
AND WANTED
TO LOOK LIKE ELVIS.
206
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:01,983
OK, EVERYBODY,
QUIET, PLEASE.
207
00:10:01,985 --> 00:10:03,385
PLEASE, EVERYBODY,
QUIET.
208
00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:04,854
COME ON. WOULD EVERYBODY
GET A SEAT, PLEASE?
209
00:10:04,856 --> 00:10:06,153
THIS GUY WAS GREAT.
210
00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:07,390
NOW HE'S MOVED ON.
HE'S A BIG DIRECTOR.
211
00:10:07,392 --> 00:10:09,492
OF COURSE, I CAN'T
REMEMBER HIS NAME, EITHER.
212
00:10:09,494 --> 00:10:11,527
BUT HE WAS GOOD.
HE WAS A FUNNY, GOOD ACTOR.
213
00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:13,028
HE WAS IN EVERYTHING.
214
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:17,199
HE ALWAYS PLAYS, LIKE, SOME
KIND OF A FBI INVESTIGATOR
215
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:19,802
IN ALL THE MOVIES.
I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME.
216
00:10:19,804 --> 00:10:23,706
HE WAS SO AWESOME
AND NICE...FUNNY.
217
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:26,709
HE WAS A FUNNY GUY.
NOW HE'S A SERIOUS ACTOR.
218
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:29,712
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
219
00:10:29,714 --> 00:10:31,947
THANK YOU.
220
00:10:31,949 --> 00:10:32,949
WHATEVER.
221
00:10:32,951 --> 00:10:34,048
BUT THE SHOW
MUST GO ON,
222
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,918
SO HERE THEY ARE,
FRESH FROM THE CEMETERY--
223
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,553
PLEASE WELCOME...
224
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:39,355
HE'S A DIRECTOR, TOO.
225
00:10:39,357 --> 00:10:41,089
EDGAR BERGAN AND...
226
00:10:41,091 --> 00:10:43,057
HE IS A HANDSOME MAN,
ISN'T HE?
227
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,329
NOW WE'RE ALL OLD.
228
00:10:47,331 --> 00:10:49,498
OH, THIS WAS FUN.
229
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,735
THIS WAS REALLY FUN.
I REMEMBER THIS.
230
00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:54,470
HEY, EVERYBODY. WELL,
IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
231
00:10:54,472 --> 00:10:55,771
I GOT TO ACT
LIKE A PUPPET.
232
00:10:55,773 --> 00:10:58,907
SO THIS IS HELL.
IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.
233
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,343
NOW, MORTY,
I TOLD YOU...
234
00:11:00,345 --> 00:11:02,612
THESE WERE
SOME GOOD JOKES,
TOO, AS I RECALL.
235
00:11:02,614 --> 00:11:03,812
SAY, ISN'T THAT ARNIE?
236
00:11:03,814 --> 00:11:05,615
I THOUGHT I TOLD
YOU TO GO TO HELL.
237
00:11:05,617 --> 00:11:08,851
GOOD JOKE. THESE ARE
SOME GOOD JOKES.
238
00:11:08,853 --> 00:11:10,586
WHY, LOOK. ISN'T THAT
JACKIE OVER THERE?
239
00:11:10,588 --> 00:11:11,920
SAY, I HEAR SHE...
240
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,623
I THINK
I WAS IN MY...
241
00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:15,158
WELL, THAT'S A SWITCH--
242
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,626
JACKIE IN THE FRONT SEAT
WITH HER FEET ON THE FLOOR.
243
00:11:17,628 --> 00:11:19,428
[CHUCKLES]
244
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,763
I LIKED BEING
A PUPPET.
245
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:26,768
I LIKE HAVING GOODMAN
BEIN' MY, UH, WHATEVER--
WHATEVER YOU CALL IT--
246
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:27,769
VENTRILOQUIST.
247
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,770
HIT IT, DEADGAR.
248
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,106
♪ DUN-DUN
DUN-DUN DUN DUN ♪
249
00:11:30,108 --> 00:11:31,540
"DEADGAR."
I REMEMBER THAT.
250
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:32,608
♪ WELL, I COME
FROM 6 FEET UNDER ♪
251
00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:34,309
♪ WITH A DEAD GUY
ON MY KNEE ♪
252
00:11:34,311 --> 00:11:36,445
♪ I'M HEADIN'
DOWN TO HADES... ♪
253
00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:38,347
I THINK JOHN
WROTE THIS SONG.
254
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:41,984
♪ HEY THERE, DEADGAR,
I THINK IT'S PLAIN TO SEE ♪
255
00:11:41,986 --> 00:11:46,922
♪ WE BOUGHT A CARDBOARD CASKET
AND THE WORMS ARE EATIN' ME ♪
256
00:11:46,924 --> 00:11:49,859
I REMEMBER JOHN, LIKE,
ONE TIME, IN A TAG,
257
00:11:49,861 --> 00:11:51,293
HE JUST SAT DOWN AND, LIKE,
258
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:55,032
AD-LIBBED THIS WHOLE RAP
ABOUT KELLOGG'S CORN FLAKES,
259
00:11:55,034 --> 00:11:56,733
AND IT WAS SO BRILLIANT.
260
00:12:02,239 --> 00:12:05,174
WELL, YOU WON
THE GRAND PRIZE AGAIN.
261
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:07,077
WAS THERE
EVER ANY DOUBT?
262
00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:09,278
50 BUCKS. WOW!
263
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,547
WHAT'D THE COSTUME
COST YOU, A HUNDRED?
264
00:12:11,549 --> 00:12:14,249
WELL, WE DON'T DO
IT FOR THE MONEY, OK?
265
00:12:14,251 --> 00:12:16,151
WE DO IT FOR THE ENVY.
266
00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:19,355
WELL, YOU WERE
A CONVINCING DUMMY.
267
00:12:19,357 --> 00:12:20,591
HA HA HA HA!
268
00:12:20,593 --> 00:12:22,825
♪ JEALOUS,
JEALOUS, JEALOUS ♪
269
00:12:22,827 --> 00:12:24,227
HONEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
270
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:26,328
OH, MY GOD,
IT'S THE BOWMANS.
271
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,397
HERE SHE IS,
THE RICH LADY AGAIN.
272
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:29,766
IT WAS WEIRD
FOR ME BECAUSE
273
00:12:29,768 --> 00:12:31,433
I REALLY WAS
HANGING OUT WITH
274
00:12:31,435 --> 00:12:33,936
MORE AND MORE RICH PEOPLE EVERY
PLACE I WENT.
275
00:12:33,938 --> 00:12:37,507
ACTUALLY,
I THINK THAT, UH...
276
00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:40,777
THIS CHARACTER WAS PATTERNED
AFTER MY BOSS ON THIS SHOW--
277
00:12:40,779 --> 00:12:41,977
MARCY CARSEY,
278
00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:46,949
WHO'S VERY EAST COAST
AND, UH, CLASSY.
279
00:12:46,951 --> 00:12:50,553
AND I WAS TRYING TO LEARN
A THING OR TWO FROM HER
AT THAT TIME.
280
00:12:50,555 --> 00:12:52,522
I WAS TRYING TO LEARN
HOW TO GO OUT TO LUNCH
281
00:12:52,524 --> 00:12:54,290
AND NOT EAT
WITH MY FINGERS.
282
00:12:56,361 --> 00:12:57,860
STAY ALERT, DAN.
283
00:12:57,862 --> 00:12:59,662
CATHY'S OVER THERE
PLOTTING REVENGE.
284
00:12:59,664 --> 00:13:00,897
BUT AT LEAST
WE KNOW ABOUT IT,
285
00:13:00,899 --> 00:13:02,197
SO WE'VE GOT THE EDGE.
286
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,467
IS THIS THE ONE
WHERE GEORGE
CLOONEY'S...
287
00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:05,701
RELAX AND HAVE
A GOOD TIME.
288
00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:08,070
HUH? HE'S THE MOOSE.
289
00:13:08,072 --> 00:13:09,472
WE WANTED GEORGE BACK.
290
00:13:09,474 --> 00:13:11,140
THEY F--THEY GOT
RID OF GEORGE,
291
00:13:11,142 --> 00:13:12,174
AND WE WANTED HIM BACK,
292
00:13:12,176 --> 00:13:15,279
AND I WAS LIKE,
"GET THAT GUY BACK."
293
00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:17,314
AND THEY GO, "WE DON'T
HAVE ANY THIS AND THAT.
294
00:13:17,316 --> 00:13:18,815
WE CAN'T WRITE, BLAH BLAH."
295
00:13:18,817 --> 00:13:20,184
THEY HAD A MILLION EXCUSES.
296
00:13:20,186 --> 00:13:23,019
I GO, "THAT GUY
IS GORGEOUS.
GET HIM BACK."
297
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:25,156
AND I KEPT FIGHTING AND
PUSHING, AND THEY WERE ALL
298
00:13:25,158 --> 00:13:27,057
RESISTING IT, THE WRITERS.
299
00:13:27,059 --> 00:13:30,294
AND FINALLY THEY RELENTED AND
SAID THEY'D HAVE GEORGE BACK,
300
00:13:30,296 --> 00:13:33,564
'CAUSE THEY REALLY DIDN'T
THINK HE WAS ANYTHING
ALL THAT SPECIAL,
301
00:13:33,566 --> 00:13:36,567
WHICH I LOVE!
302
00:13:36,569 --> 00:13:39,403
AND SO THEY FINALLY
BROUGHT GEORGE BACK,
303
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:41,238
AND THEY MADE HIM WEAR
A MOOSE SUIT THE WHOLE TIME,
304
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,974
AND BY THEN IT WAS TOO LATE
FOR ME TO DO ANY MORE FIGHTING.
305
00:13:43,976 --> 00:13:48,044
THEY'D ALWAYS FIGHT WITH ME
TILL, LIKE, IT WAS TOO LATE,
306
00:13:48,046 --> 00:13:54,451
AND I WOULD END UP SITTING
IN MY TRAILER WRITING
THE JOKES MYSELF,
307
00:13:54,453 --> 00:13:57,687
'CAUSE THEY'D GO,
"OH, WE THOUGHT YOU
SAID THIS" OR WHATEVER.
308
00:13:57,689 --> 00:14:00,724
THEY WANTED TO JUST
DO WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO,
309
00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:03,259
AND...THEY ALL THOUGHT
I WAS CRAZY SOMETIMES.
310
00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:06,597
THEY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY
THAT I THOUGHT GEORGE CLOONEY
WAS GORGEOUS
311
00:14:06,599 --> 00:14:08,231
AND WAS GONNA BE HUGE.
312
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:09,733
AH, HA HA!
313
00:14:11,436 --> 00:14:12,904
SO THEY PUT HIM
IN A MOOSE SUIT.
314
00:14:12,906 --> 00:14:14,872
IT STILL MAKES ME MAD
WHEN I THINK OF IT.
315
00:14:14,874 --> 00:14:17,307
AND GEORGE WAS REALLY
MAD, TOO, AND HE GOES,
YOU KNOW,
316
00:14:17,309 --> 00:14:20,544
"THANKS, ROSEANNE,
BUT I THINK I'LL MOVE ON."
317
00:14:20,546 --> 00:14:23,480
THERE'S CLOONEY
IN THE DAMN MOOSE SUIT.
318
00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:25,083
IT'S MY LIFE.
IF I WANT...
319
00:14:25,085 --> 00:14:27,018
TOO BAD PEOPLE
DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
320
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:28,518
THIS GETS ME ALL GOIN'.
321
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,923
IF PEOPLE WOULD LISTEN
TO ME...I SWEAR...
322
00:14:31,925 --> 00:14:33,289
HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S PERFECT FOR ME?
323
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:34,290
I JUST GOT THIS...
324
00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:35,458
I'M JUST
SO PROUD OF GEORGE.
325
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:37,293
I WANT TO SAY THAT.
I'M REALLY PROUD OF HIM.
326
00:14:37,295 --> 00:14:40,196
HE'S A--NOT ONLY
IS HE A HANDSOME
327
00:14:40,198 --> 00:14:42,767
AND GORGEOUS
AND TALENTED
ACTOR, DIRECTOR,
328
00:14:42,769 --> 00:14:44,769
AND WHATEVER
THE HELL ELSE
HE'S GOT GOIN',
329
00:14:44,771 --> 00:14:48,371
HE'S FUNNIER THAN HELL.
WE USED TO HAVE
SO MUCH FUN ON THE SHOW.
330
00:14:48,373 --> 00:14:52,275
GEORGE, UH...HE'S QUITE
A PRACTICAL JOKER,
331
00:14:52,277 --> 00:14:54,812
AND HE REALLY WAS
FUN TO WORK WITH.
332
00:14:54,814 --> 00:14:57,615
THAT'S WHY WE ALL
MISSED HIM SO MUCH.
333
00:14:57,617 --> 00:14:59,983
CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY
WOULD DO THIS TO THE MOST
GORGEOUS GUY IN THE WORLD?
334
00:14:59,985 --> 00:15:01,519
THEY'D MAKE HIM WEAR
A MOOSE HEAD?
335
00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:03,053
I GOT YOUR CALL.
336
00:15:03,055 --> 00:15:04,522
I SHOULD'VE FIRED
THOSE WRITERS.
337
00:15:04,524 --> 00:15:07,991
I'D FIRE 'EM
RIGHT NOW IF I COULD...
FOR THIS.
338
00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:10,427
THAT'S GEORGE CLOONEY
IN THERE,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.
339
00:15:10,429 --> 00:15:11,429
WHERE'S ROSIE?
340
00:15:11,431 --> 00:15:12,463
WHERE'S CATHY?
341
00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:13,931
SHE WENT OUT TO THE CAR
TO GET A SWEATER.
342
00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:17,167
THEN ROSIE'D BE
OUT IN THE BUSHES
WATCHIN' HER.
343
00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:18,902
SHE THINKS CATHY'S
GONNA GET EVEN WITH US
344
00:15:18,904 --> 00:15:20,170
FOR THAT TRIP
WE PULLED ON HER.
345
00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:21,872
OH, BOY. I GOTTA
TELL YOU, DAN...
346
00:15:21,874 --> 00:15:23,374
HEY, THAT'S
DANTON STONE.
347
00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:25,208
HE'S FUNNIER 'N
HELL, THAT GUY.
348
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,143
I PUT HIM
IN JACKIE THOMAS,
349
00:15:27,145 --> 00:15:29,179
WHICH I DID AFTER
THE ROSEANNE SHOW...
350
00:15:29,181 --> 00:15:31,515
SHOW I PRODUCED.
HE WAS GOOD IN THAT.
351
00:15:31,517 --> 00:15:34,017
WHY DID YOU CALL ME
IF YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO SEE ME?
352
00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:36,219
WHO WOULD LOOK
AT GEORGE CLOONEY
353
00:15:36,221 --> 00:15:38,922
AND NOT THINK
THAT THAT GUY WAS
A HUGE MOVIE STAR?
354
00:15:38,924 --> 00:15:40,123
...NOT MY SISTER.
355
00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:42,192
CAN ANYONE ANSWER ME
THAT QUESTION?
356
00:15:42,194 --> 00:15:44,027
HERE I AM.
LET'S TALK.
357
00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:45,496
LOOK AT THAT FACE.
358
00:15:45,498 --> 00:15:47,998
NO, BUT I'M
THE ONLY ONE
THAT SHOWED UP.
359
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,367
LOOK AT THAT GUY.
360
00:15:49,369 --> 00:15:52,069
THERE IS SOMEONE
IN THERE RIGHT NOW
DRESSED AS MADONNA
361
00:15:52,071 --> 00:15:55,072
WHO COULD VERY WELL
BE TIM BREWER.
362
00:15:55,074 --> 00:15:57,040
I MADE A MISTAKE.
ALL RIGHT? LET'S
JUST FORGET IT.
363
00:15:57,042 --> 00:15:58,709
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
SIT DOWN.
364
00:15:58,711 --> 00:16:00,511
THERE'S SOMETHING THAT
I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO ASK YOU
365
00:16:00,513 --> 00:16:04,381
SINCE WE BROKE UP.
[SIGHS]
366
00:16:04,383 --> 00:16:05,917
WHY'D WE BREAK UP?
367
00:16:05,919 --> 00:16:08,086
YOU WERE SEEIN'
SOMEBODY ELSE.
368
00:16:08,088 --> 00:16:10,554
SO IT WAS MY FAULT.
I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.
369
00:16:12,391 --> 00:16:13,724
HI, CATHY.
370
00:16:13,726 --> 00:16:16,427
YOUR SISTER...
IS INSANE.
371
00:16:18,731 --> 00:16:20,598
ROSEANNE'S
NEW NEIGHBOR.
AH.
372
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,133
THOSE ARE THE KIND
OF LINES THEY GAVE US.
373
00:16:22,135 --> 00:16:23,267
HEY!
HEY!
374
00:16:23,269 --> 00:16:24,568
THEY SHOULD'VE HAD ME
HAVIN' AN AFFAIR
375
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:27,239
WITH GEORGE CLOONEY OR
SOMETHIN' GOOD LIKE THAT.
376
00:16:27,241 --> 00:16:29,374
THEY SHOULD'VE LISTENED.
I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF IT.
377
00:16:29,376 --> 00:16:32,143
HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT!
WHAT'VE YOU BEEN UP TO?
WELL--
378
00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:33,477
OH, I CAN'T TALK
TO YOU NOW.
379
00:16:33,479 --> 00:16:35,947
NOBODY
EVER BOUGHT THAT.
380
00:16:43,423 --> 00:16:44,755
JERRY,
LET'S GO HOME.
381
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:46,024
BYE, DAN.
BYE, JER.
382
00:16:46,026 --> 00:16:47,960
OH, LEAVING
SO SOON, CATHY?
383
00:16:47,962 --> 00:16:50,628
OR IS THAT JUST
WHAT YOU WANT ME
TO THINK?
384
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,297
ROSEANNE, WHY
ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?
385
00:16:53,299 --> 00:16:55,167
YOU KNOW,
HALLOWEEN SHOW...
386
00:16:55,169 --> 00:16:57,235
THAT WAS, LIKE I SAY,
SACROSANCT,
387
00:16:57,237 --> 00:16:59,872
SO THEY WOULD START
THINKIN' ABOUT HALLOWEEN
388
00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:02,173
AT THE VERY BEGINNING
OF THE SEASON
389
00:17:02,175 --> 00:17:04,342
'CAUSE IT WAS
ABOUT 6 WEEKS
INTO THE SEASON,
390
00:17:04,344 --> 00:17:06,845
SO WE WERE ALWAYS GIVING
THE HALLOWEEN SHOW
391
00:17:06,847 --> 00:17:09,982
THE MOST OUT OF ANY OTHER
EPISODE OF THE SEASON.
392
00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:11,950
...SO I DID.
393
00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:16,386
MARRIED PEOPLE
DO THINGS LIKE THAT
FOR ONE ANOTHER.
394
00:17:16,388 --> 00:17:18,756
OH, DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!
395
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,628
HOW MANY TIMES DO I
HAVE TO TELL YOU, ROSEANNE,
396
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:27,332
THAT I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE
ONE IOTA OF ENERGY
IN GETTING YOU BACK?
397
00:17:27,334 --> 00:17:29,400
I THINK I'M BETTER
THAN THAT.
398
00:17:29,402 --> 00:17:30,969
JERRY...COME.
399
00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:32,070
BYE, DAN.
BYE, JER.
400
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,742
OH, SURE, YOU THINK
YOU'RE BETTER
THAN ME NOW,
401
00:17:36,744 --> 00:17:39,978
BUT WHEN YOU REMEMBER
THE TERRIBLE THING
THAT I DID TO YOU TODAY,
402
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:42,915
YOU WILL SINK
TO MY LEVEL LIKE A ROCK!
403
00:17:44,484 --> 00:17:48,821
I THINK I WAS
GETTING, UH...
404
00:17:48,823 --> 00:17:50,823
MORE CONFIDENT
IN, UH, ACTING.
405
00:17:50,825 --> 00:17:52,825
WHY WOULDN'T
SHE GET ME BACK
AFTER I GOT HER?
406
00:17:52,827 --> 00:17:54,325
WHAT, IS SOMETHIN'
WRONG WITH ME?
407
00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:55,660
AM I NOT
GOOD ENOUGH TO GET?
408
00:17:55,662 --> 00:17:58,496
THE FIRST COUPLE SEASONS,
UH...YOU KNOW...
409
00:17:58,498 --> 00:18:01,499
I JUST GOT THE LINES,
SO I'D STAND THERE
AND DELIVER 'EM.
410
00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:02,534
BUT THEN THEY GOT
MORE CONFIDENT
411
00:18:02,536 --> 00:18:05,003
AND STARTED GIVING ME
THINGS TO...
412
00:18:05,005 --> 00:18:08,006
LIKE, ACTUALLY...
DO SOMETHING WITH.
413
00:18:08,008 --> 00:18:09,574
...GET ME BACK,
AND IT'LL BE REALLY LAME.
414
00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:13,579
WHICH WAS NICE BECAUSE...
YOU KNOW, I WORKED
WITH SUCH GREAT ACTORS.
415
00:18:13,581 --> 00:18:17,115
IT'S, UH, PRETTY COOL
THAT THEY...
416
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:19,451
THEY WOULD GIVE ME
THE TIME OF DAY THEN...
417
00:18:19,453 --> 00:18:23,288
AGAINST JOHN AND LAURIE
AND...THE REST OF 'EM.
418
00:18:24,391 --> 00:18:27,025
IT WAS SO FUN
TO WORK WITH GOODMAN.
419
00:18:27,027 --> 00:18:28,627
YEOW! YEOW!
YEOW! YEOW!
420
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:29,728
HE'S SO FUNNY.
421
00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:30,762
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
422
00:18:30,764 --> 00:18:32,030
SNAKES. SNAKES
IN THE BED.
423
00:18:32,032 --> 00:18:33,599
AND WE JUST BOUGHT
THAT BED, TOO.
424
00:18:33,601 --> 00:18:35,234
NOW IT'S COVERED
ALL WITH SNAKES,
SWEAT, AND STUFF.
425
00:18:35,236 --> 00:18:36,435
YOU GO GET 'EM
OUT OF THERE.
426
00:18:36,437 --> 00:18:38,036
NO, YOU GET 'EM OUT.
NO! YOU'RE THE MAN!
427
00:18:38,038 --> 00:18:40,205
ICK!
428
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:42,207
SHE'S GONE TOO FAR
THIS TIME!
429
00:18:42,209 --> 00:18:43,875
SNAKES BITE
AND SQUEEZE!
430
00:18:43,877 --> 00:18:45,544
CATHY'S TRYIN'
TO KILL US!
431
00:18:45,546 --> 00:18:47,346
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
432
00:18:47,348 --> 00:18:49,381
CATHY ISN'T TRYING
TO KILL YOU.
433
00:18:49,383 --> 00:18:51,383
YEAH, WE ARE.
434
00:18:51,385 --> 00:18:54,286
THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE
WAS ALWAYS THE HIGHLIGHT
OF THE YEAR.
435
00:18:54,288 --> 00:18:56,255
I LOVED IT SO MUCH.
THAT'S WHEN WE HAD
436
00:18:56,257 --> 00:18:58,124
A LOT OF, UH,
I GUESS YOU'D CALL IT
437
00:18:58,126 --> 00:18:59,993
FREEDOM OR POETIC
LICENSE OR WHATEVER.
438
00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:02,894
AND WE ALWAYS DID
A LOT OF, UH,
439
00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:06,298
YOU KNOW, MORE IRONY
AND, UH...
440
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:09,734
AND, UH, KINDA SARCASTIC
ATTITUDE AND STUFF.
441
00:19:09,736 --> 00:19:11,904
WE HAD SOME
REALLY GOOD JOKES,
442
00:19:11,906 --> 00:19:14,306
AND, UH, WE ALWAYS
PUSHED IT.
443
00:19:14,308 --> 00:19:17,242
AND I THINK
THAT IT WAS, UH...
444
00:19:17,244 --> 00:19:18,243
UM...
445
00:19:18,245 --> 00:19:19,611
OUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN
446
00:19:19,613 --> 00:19:21,046
REMEMBERED US
ON THE HOLIDAY.
447
00:19:21,048 --> 00:19:22,848
THE HIGHLIGHT
OF THE YEAR
FOR ALL OF US.
448
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:24,616
IT'S VERY FUN.
449
00:19:24,618 --> 00:19:26,952
TO THINK YOU HAD
TO WORRY ABOUT CATHY.
450
00:19:26,954 --> 00:19:27,886
[LAUGHING] YEAH.
451
00:19:29,456 --> 00:19:32,257
'COURSE, YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS, DAN.
452
00:19:32,259 --> 00:19:33,826
SHE'S STILL OUT THERE.
453
00:19:33,828 --> 00:19:37,629
[WOLF HOWLS]
454
00:19:40,768 --> 00:19:42,702
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
455
00:19:46,774 --> 00:19:49,174
WE WERE ALWAYS KNOWN
FOR OUR TAGS.
456
00:19:49,176 --> 00:19:51,610
WE STARTED, LIKE,
REALLY MAKING THE TAG,
457
00:19:51,612 --> 00:19:55,214
LIKE, REALLY FUNNY,
ALMOST BREAKING
THE FOURTH WALL
458
00:19:55,216 --> 00:19:57,050
EVERY TIME AT THE END
OF EVERY SHOW.
459
00:19:57,052 --> 00:19:59,252
WE WERE REALLY HOT
ON THE TAGS
460
00:19:59,254 --> 00:20:01,287
THAT HAPPEN AT THE END
OF THE SHOW
461
00:20:01,289 --> 00:20:04,023
WHEN YOU COME BACK
FOR JUST A MINUTE
BEFORE THE SHOW'S OVER.
462
00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:06,358
AND WE REALLY STARTED
TO USE THE TAG
463
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,562
AS, UM, KIND OF LIKE
A BREAKING
THE FOURTH WALL THING
464
00:20:09,564 --> 00:20:11,063
WEEK AFTER WEEK
AFTER WEEK,
465
00:20:11,065 --> 00:20:12,965
AND WE SO LOOKED
FORWARD TO THE TAG.
466
00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:14,365
WHEN WE CAME IN
TO READ THE SCRIPT,
467
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:17,402
WE'D, YOU KNOW, ALWAYS
GO DIRECTLY TO THE TAG
468
00:20:17,404 --> 00:20:18,637
AND START THINKING
ABOUT THAT.
469
00:20:18,639 --> 00:20:20,739
AND I HAD THIS FANTASY
THAT WE WOULD DO
470
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:22,608
A WHOLE SHOW
THAT WAS ALL TAG
471
00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:25,244
WITH JUST 2 MINUTES
OF ACTUAL SHOW.
472
00:20:25,246 --> 00:20:26,745
IT JUST WAS SO FUN.
473
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:29,082
IT'S WHERE WE REALLY
DID OUR FUN, CRAZY
STUFF.
474
00:20:29,084 --> 00:20:30,816
[CAT MEOWS]
Dan: OK, THERE SHE IS,
475
00:20:30,818 --> 00:20:32,452
EVER VIGILANT,
EVER PARANOID.
[MEOW]
476
00:20:32,454 --> 00:20:34,319
SHE SPOTS THE BAIT.
[MEOW]
477
00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:36,389
AND REALIZING
HOW LAME THE TRICK IS
478
00:20:36,391 --> 00:20:37,823
AND HOW EASY
IT WAS TO DETECT...
479
00:20:40,395 --> 00:20:43,296
WAVES OF SUPERIORITY
WASH OVER HER.
480
00:20:43,298 --> 00:20:44,664
[MEOW]
481
00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:45,632
WHAT NOW?
482
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:46,932
ONE OF TWO THINGS.
483
00:20:46,934 --> 00:20:49,469
EITHER SHE JUST
WON'T OPEN THE DOOR,
OR...
484
00:20:49,471 --> 00:20:52,372
BECKY,
IT'S FOR YOU!
485
00:20:52,374 --> 00:20:53,939
PERFECT!
[MEOW]
486
00:20:53,941 --> 00:20:55,609
SHE GETS EVEN
FOR THE SNAKES.
487
00:20:57,845 --> 00:21:00,112
WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO
FOR THANKSGIVING
AROUND HERE?
488
00:21:03,451 --> 00:21:05,918
OH, LOOK!
A LITTLE KITTY!
[MEOW]
489
00:21:10,792 --> 00:21:13,492
OH, THEY INVENTED
THIS PUMPKIN THING
FOR ME, TOO,
490
00:21:13,494 --> 00:21:16,229
PEOPLE FROM
MY HOMETOWN OF
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH,
491
00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:18,798
WHO, LIKE--PEOPLE REALLY
GET INTO HALLOWEEN THERE
492
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,166
AND CRAFTS AND STUFF.
493
00:21:20,168 --> 00:21:22,735
AND IT WAS THE FIRST
TIME YOU SAW A PUMPKIN
LIKE THAT
494
00:21:22,737 --> 00:21:26,172
THAT WAS CARVED OUT,
LIKE, THAT INTRICATELY.
495
00:21:26,174 --> 00:21:27,707
NOW THEY'RE
EVERYWHERE NOW.
496
00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:29,142
THEY SELL
LITTLE TINY RAZORS.
497
00:21:29,144 --> 00:21:31,344
I WISH I HAD A DOLLAR
FOR EVERYTHING
498
00:21:31,346 --> 00:21:32,678
THAT STARTED
ON THE ROSEANNE SHOW
499
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,215
THAT I DON'T HAVE
A DOLLAR FOR.
500
00:21:35,217 --> 00:21:36,182
WHATEVER.
501
00:21:53,401 --> 00:21:54,700
AM I DONE?