(NARRATOR READING)
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
ACKBAR: Come on, you hunk of junk. Hang in there!
(ENGINE SPUTTERING CONTINUES)
C-3PO: Oh dear, oh dear.
Do hurry, Admiral.
According to my tracking computer, the stolen ship was abandoned
somewhere in this vicinity.
It's not a ship. It's my baby.
And I don't need some fancy computer to tell me that it's right...
Here!
I'm awesome at sensing traps. Everything else, not so much.
Oh, the awful things that happened here on Coruscant.
Battles, betrayals, the end of the Jedi order.
Thank the maker it is over and we can get on with our lives in...
-(RUMBLING) -om
Battle droids!
(YELPS) Hide me, Emperor Head! (SCREAMS)
Oh, take it easy, chief.
The battle droids factory on Geonosis was destroyed years ago.
These old junkers were reprogrammed to be useful.
Perhaps they encountered R2.
Pardon me, garbage droids, uh, can you help me?
Roger, roger.
Have you, by any chance, seen this chap?
- Negative, negative. - You're not useful at all!
ALL: Sorry, sorry.
(SIGHS)
I'll never find R2.
(GROANS) My sweet ride is gone.
And seeing those scary things only makes me miss him more.
It was he who destroyed the battle droid factory.
I'll never forget when I first saw Daisy Mae at the dealer.
It all began when the Clone Wars had been raging for some time.
- It's a tale rife with excitement... - I saved up for years.
-...and adventure and peril. And... - Then, I studied air brushing...
A ship is just a machine! A droid is a person.
- Okay, fine. You tell your story. - Thank you.
The Separatist leader, General Grievous,
had somehow acquired the Republic's top secret battle plans.
This disk is all you need to crush the Jedi and win the war.
Take it to the Separatist council at once.
Yes, my lord.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Victory is ours!
Oh! My ship! Which was also my house!
Oopsie.
After him!
Must steal new ship!
(COUGHS)
It's days like this that I wish I had more than half my original lungs.
(COUGHING)
Welcome aboard, Senator.
The galley is well-stocked for your flight to...
Wait! You're not Senator Organa.
What was your first clue?
C-3PO: Your hideous appearance, since you ask.
GRIEVOUS: I was being sarcastic!
Great is your valour, Commander Skywalker.
But still, too impulsive are you.
Patience you must learn.
If to be a great Jedi you one day will...
-(LAUGHS) -(SCREAMS)
If you'll excuse me.
(BEEPING EXCITEDLY)
They seem to have gone out the window.
Oh, noticed that, did you, hmm?
(GRUNTS)
I've got you where I want you, Grievous!
Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots.
(BEEPING)
Well, fancy meeting you here.
If you two don't mind, less yakking, more attacking!
(GRUNTS)
- Permission to come aboard? - Not granted.
(SCREAMING)
(HORNS HONKING)
(SCREAMS)
Whoa!
We've got to help Anakin. After them!
-(OBl-WAN WHISTLES) - ALL: Sorry, our bad.
(BEEPING)
You, take the wheel.
Me? I'm a terrible pilot.
But I am a fast learner.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Uh-oh.
Ah!
- That hurts. - That's the general idea, General.
(CHUCKLES) Get it?
Getting it and thinking it funny are two different things.
(GRUNTS)
- Uh-oh. - Uh-oh!
Uh-oh.
Like I said, I am a terrible pilot!
(METAL SCRAPING)
(SCREAMING)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
See ya. Would not want to be ya!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS) Oh!
- Thank you, Master. - You're nearly a Jedi now.
You can stop calling me "Master".
Sorry, Obi.
Uh, let's go back to Master.
(SIGHS) We'll never find Grievous.
Those stolen battle plans are gone forever.
Not all is lost, my friend. We still have a man on the job.
Wonderful. From one horrid place to another.
Come along, I have a job for you.
I can only imagine what degrading task you want me to perform.
Cocktail Weenies?
Oh, yes, thank you.
C-3PO: This isn't so bad.
Cheese puffs?
(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)
Oh, spoke too soon.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(METAL CLANGING)
(BEEPING)
Pardon me, but haven't we met before?
Probably caught him on a bad day.
Good work, General.
These plans will assure our ultimate victory.
Yes, the winning by us is guaranteed.
- I just said that. - I wanted to say it, too.
Anakin, your effort to stop Grievous was brave but also reckless.
Diving out of a window? You could have been killed.
- Yes, but... - No. No "buts".
Think before you act you must.
If wish to be a great Jedi you do.
Hello, enemies of the Republic.
This is coming from R2-D2. He's on Geonosis.
Today, we win this war.
Get those plans back you must. Go now!
- But you just said I have to think... - No time to think.
What I said forget. Go!
(SIGHS) You're the boss.
Oh, heck what the.
For me wait!
YODA: To Geonosis!
What I'm about to show you will change the course of history.
(BEEPING)
Behold,
the Republic's secret battle plans.
(CHEERING)
Not them. I hate the Ewoks.
(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)
General, what is the meaning of this?
It means, Dooku, that up the jig is.
Party's over, boys!
Oh, I don't think so.
Super Sith team, attack!
(SCREAMS)
Mini burgers? Tater skins?
Whoa!
Mmm.
(BEEPS)
The droid has the plans!
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
- Give them to me. -(BEEPING)
Give him the plans, R2.
-(BEEPING NERVOUSLY) - Oh, dear!
(BEEPING)
"No! "No!
Why are you saying "no"?
- He's got the battle plans in him. - Oh, right. Of course.
"No! "No!
He's setting off a chain reaction.
Oh, yes, he excels at that.
The whole place is going to blow!
-(CHEERING) - R2-D2, you are a hero!
-(METAL CLANGS) - Never do that again.
I was so cross with him that day.
I still am.
I do hope to see him again,
so I can give him another swat on the dome.
-(METAL CLANGS) - Hmm.
That is an odd sound for a sheet of paper to make.
This is the ship R2 was taken in.
Daisy Mae!
What have they done to you, kiddo?
The Spaceport. Of course!
The villain knew we'd follow him,
so he ditched your ship for a shuttle ride elsewhere.
But where, Admiral? Where?
Leave me out of this. We're re-bonding.
- Sorry, thanks. - Hey!
Have you seen my friend?
Mister, I'm only programmed to sell tickets.
- Whoa! - You've got to help me.
He's a fellow droid. A hero of the Rebellion.
He has been captured by a mysterious stranger.
Okay, okay. Don't get your gears in a twist.
If your friend came through here he'd be on the security video.
There he is. Oh, no, that's a fire hydrant.
(YELLS AND STAMMERS)
- A mailbox. -(CLEARS THROAT)
So sorry for my apparent rudeness. I am in a dreadful state.
Such a terrible thing to happen to a droid.
And your friend's a hero.
What an awful way to treat someone who helped defeat the Empire.
Yes. And the irony is,
that it was the kidnapping that led to the rise of the Empire,
the fall of the Jedi,
and the revenge of the Sith in the first place.
- Would you like to tell us about it? - C-3PO: I certainly would.
A year had passed
and General Grievous and the Separatists
were desperate to make a bold move that would end the war.
They decided to kidnap Chancellor Palpatine.
Thanks for coming by.
You're just the witness, I mean droid, I needed.
I am honoured to be in the service
of such a noble, upstanding public servant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on a sec.
Now! Just be a moment.
-(METAL CLANGS) -(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(COUGHING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Ha! Total surprise kidnapping!
General Grievous!
General Grievous.
Take your hands off me at once!
Oh. Sorry.
No, you fool. Kidnap me.
Oh. Uh, yes. Sorry, boss.
And stop calling me "boss"!
Poor, innocent Chancellor Palpatine.
You seem troubled. Is something wrong?
No, Padmé.
Just the usual rage at Obi-Wan and Yoda
for not seeing my awesomeness.
But I have a good feeling about us.
The future is bright for me, you and our child to be.
(BEEPING)
(R2-D2 PLAYING TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)
(TRUMPET BLOWING)
Thanks, R2.
Have you thought of a name for the baby, yet?
PALPATINE: (SHOUTING) Help! I'm being kidnapped!
Well, the girl name is easy. Leia.
Help! Over here!
For a boy, I've narrowed it down to...
Kidnapping in progress!
- Kidster, Embo, Wicket... - PALPATINE: Bad guys got me!
Need a little help from the Jedi!
Jubnuk, IG-88, or Luke.
(HORN HONKING)
The Chancellor's been kidnapped. I have to save him, Padmé.
Finally.
Obi-Wan, Grievous and Dooku are holding the Chancellor
-on the command ship. - OBl-WAN: I know.
But why can't we just take a straight line to get there?
'Cause this way is much cooler.
Drat! Buzz-droids.
Don't worry. R2's on it.
(BEEPING)
Master, what a brilliant plan of yours.
To lure the Jedi to your rescue,
so you can reveal yourself as the Sith Lord
and have us destroy them.
Uh, yeah, sure. That's my plan.
Unhand the Chancellor, Dooku!
Jedi, fire!
Time to give up, Dooku.
Ha! You just walked into a trap.
We have a secret weapon you never suspected.
The power of the Shh...
Get those bad guys, my Jedi heroes!
That wasn't the plan.
Yes, it was, I just didn't tell you. Sorry.
(GRUNTING)
I'll get you!
Yes, Anakin, yes.
Give in to your hate.
Isn't that a bad thing for a Jedi?
Oh, right! Why would I tell you to do that?
Silly me. (LAUGHS)
But seriously, get him.
(SCREAMS)
You haven't seen the last of me!
(SCREAMS)
You have seen the last of me!
Great work, Anakin.
Now let's hope we survive the crash you just caused.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Grievous is out there.
-I'll hunt him. - No, Anakin.
I'll go. You're not ready.
You're just jealous of me.
I won't accept this till I hear it from Yoda himself.
Agree with Obi-Wan I do. Oh...
Oh, man, I never get any respect around here...
Anakin, you're right to be angry at Yoda.
He doesn't see the greatness in you that I do.
Really? You think I'm great?
Mmm-hmm, yes. And I say this from my heart, with no ulterior motives.
I'm the only friend... Whoa, gotta go!
Trust me completely!
I think the Chancellor is the Sith Lord.
Hmm. Highly unlikely. But I'll check it out.
I'd love to help you find this General Grievous,
but he's not here.
No, sir.
No big, scary robot-man lurking behind that column.
Is there something wrong with your neck?
(GROANS) Is there something wrong with your brain?
He's trying to tell you I'm right here.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
It's one against four, Jedi.
-(METAL CLANKING) - Ow!
No problem. I'm just as good with three.
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS) You are not nice!
You're under arrest, Chancellor.
Or should I say Darth Sidious?
Well, duh.
- Whoa. - Get ready to say "whoa" again.
Stand back a little, mmm.
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
What's going on?
Anakin, this mean Jedi
is attacking poor, old me!
Eat lightning, Windu!
Help me, Anakin.
Crackle, crackle!
I'm so feeble.
I don't know what to do.
You don't?
Stop hurting my friend.
(GRUNTS)
(SHOUTING) Ah!
(SCREAMING)
Oh, no. What have I done?
Kinda late to say that now. (SCREAMING)
Congratulations, my friend.
You are no longer Anakin Skywalker, second string Jedi.
You are Darth Vader.
The most powerful being in the galaxy.
Except for me. You have to obey my every command.
(SIGHS) I made a very bad decision.
What was that, Darth Vader?
Darth Vader shall do thy bidding, my Master.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
The Jedi will be no more.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Ha! You're doomed now, Kenobi.
R means real fast, right?
Uh, sure.
(SCREAMS)
(FADING) Not smart!
Cody, Clone troopers, we won!
Oh, wonder where they're going?
C-3PO: The less said about what happened next, the better.
But it was a terrible day that saw the end of the Jedi,
the birth of the Empire,
and a fatal battle between a Master and his former apprentice.
Anakin! I loved you as a brother.
But you turned to the dark side and destroyed the Republic!
I say the Jedi were destroying the Republic,
and the Emperor and I saved it!
You didn't save it. That's a lie!
- Nah-uh! - Ya-uh!
(BOTH CONTINUE ARGUING)
What I said was true. From a certain point of view.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Well, as long as it's a fight to the end, let's make it interesting.
Agreed.
Hey, it's Master Yoda.
- Hi. -(GRUNTING)
What did we ever do?
Ended your reign is, Chancellor.
Or should I call you Emperor?
Or should I call you Darth...
(SCREAMING)
Yes, yes, we all know that now.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
(BOTH STRUGGLING)
(DARTH SIDIOUS LAUGHING)
(BOTH STRUGGLING)
JAR JAR: (SCREAMING) Not againsa!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
C-3PO: Anakin's transformation into Darth Vader was complete.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(BEEPING)
C-3PO: Things never looked worse for us.
But, with the birth of Luke and Leia, we did have a new hope.
If only I had hope that I'd find R2.
Wait!
It's R2! I'd know his dome anywhere.
But where did that thing take him? Oh, run those images back.
Uh, please, magnify it.
I can't magnify.
I said, magnify!
Oh!
Mos Eisley!
That wretched stinkhole.
- Oh! I have to save him. - You're in luck.
MAN: (ON SPEAKER) The terminal shuttle to Mos Eisley,
Mos Espa and all Moses in between
is now boarding from platform 3.
Thank you.
Thank you for the ride, Admiral. But, um, I must follow R2.
Of course. I'm just happy to have my ship back.
- Come back here with Daisy Mae! - Negative, negative.
C-3PO: I can't quite believe I'm saying this,
but take me to Tatooine as fast as you can!
NARRATOR: Find out what happened
in the next thrilling chapter of Droid Tales,
Mission to Mos Eisley.