同学们早上好。 Good morning students.
这就是韦斯特利原则。 This is Principle Westly.
削尖你的 2 号铅笔并敲击橡皮擦 Sharpen your number 2 pencils and bang those erasers
这是老特罗马维尔高中又一个辉煌的一天。 it's another glorious day here at old Tromaville High.
霍尔监听器已经大量使用，所以不要迟到。 。 。时期 。 Hall Monitors are out in force so don't be late for your first. . . period .
啊，拜托。 Ah, please.
请有人帮助我！ Please, someone help me please!
呃，看看那个伤口！ Ew, check out that gash!
拖起来！拖起来！ Mop it up! Mop it up!
我的腿！我的腿！ My Legs! My Legs!
我的脚！ My foot!
啊，看看你用你的阴部汁液做了什么。啊啊啊啊！ Ah, Look what you have done with your cunt juice. Ahhhhhhhh!
嘿，发生什么事了？ Hey what's going on?
这是怎么回事？ What's going on?
如果你不知道你应该看过卷。 1. If you don't know you should have seen vol. 1 .
无论如何，这里有一个进修课程。 In any case, here is a refresher course.
你的地下室笔记。 Your crypt notes.
这是特罗马维尔高中。 This is Tromaville High school .
不幸的是位于隔壁。 Unfortunately located right next door.
对于污染严重的工厂和 Tromorganic Foods 总部，我没有。 To the horribly contaminated factory and headquarters of Tromorganic Foods stuff I no.
好吧，够了。 Okay that's enough.
看我是客串演员。 Look I 'm a cameo actor.
我，我无法扮演所有这些长角色。 I , I can't do all these long roles.
来吧，劳埃德，你接手吧。 C' mon Lloyd you take over.
好的，彼得·帕克， Okay Peter Parker,
上学期我们了解到 Herzkauf 先生 Last semester we learned that Mr. Herzkauf
Tromorganic Foods 邪恶贪婪的首席执行官 the evil greedy CEO of Tromorganic Foods stuff
与校长合谋 conspired with the principal
特罗马维尔高中出售受污染的 of Tromaville High school to sell contam inated
为新泽西州和世界各地的每所学校提供午餐。 lunches to every school of New Jersey and the world .
吃了受化学污染的炸玉米饼后， After eating chemically polluted tacos,
五音不全的书呆子欢乐合唱团变成了一群虐待狂白痴。 the tone deaf nerdy glee club transformed into a gang of sadistic cretins.
而变异食物的副作用让她的歌声像美丽的夜莺一样。 And the side effects of the mutated food made the sing like beautiful nightingales.
与此同时，富家女劳伦和拖车垃圾 Meanwhile, rich girl Lauren and Trailer trash
克丽丝坠入爱河， Chrissy fell in love,
并操碎了他们的大脑。 and fucked their brains out.
神奇鸭子凯文 Kevin the wonder duck
享用了不小心处理掉的变异玉米卷垃圾。 feasted on carelessly disposed up mutating taco garbage.
这当然导致了 Which of course led
躲避喉咙强奸... to duck down throat rape...
...每个 Science 101 学生都知道 ...and as every science 101 student knows
当女同性恋者交换鸭油菜中的液体时 when lesbians exchange fluids from the duck rape
它改变了他们 it transforms them
进入这个... into this...
而在特罗马维尔 And in Tromaville
这无意中引发了一场性别平等的政治运动。 this inadvertently started a gender equally political movement.
女同性恋双性恋 A lesbionic dual
把以前欺负过他们的白痴们打得落花流水 beat the crap out of the cretins who have previously bullied them
生命失去了。 Lives were lost.
扎克，那个闻起来像烤牛肉的胖子 Zac the fat slob who smelled like roast beef
用了他过时的黑莓相机 used his outdated blackberry camera
给我们两个恋人拍照并勒索。 to photograph and black mail our two lovers.
奇普斯先生是大家最喜欢的科学老师，有双眼 Mr. Chips everyone's favorite science Teacher had both eyes
被错误定向的激光戳出来 poked out by a mis-directed laser
和变异白痴呕吐物 and mutant cretin vomit
每个人都责怪上帝。 and everyone blamed god .
如您所见，卷。 1 一个处理所有 As you can see vol . 1 one dealt with all
相关问题的热点问题 the hot button issues that are relevant issues
当今青少年的思想，包括内心深处的想法 of teenagers today including what goes inside the mind
以及一个热辣青春期青少年的变异身体。 and a mutated body of a hot pubescent adolescent.
这是一个关于当今复杂的青少年的故事。 This is a story about today's complicated young teenagers.
谁能更好地阐释这些主题 And who better to illuminate these themes
还不如70岁的老人呢？ than a 70-year-old man?
那么让我们大家回到， So let's all return to,
返回返回 Nuke 'Em High Return to Return to Nuke 'Em High
又名第 2 卷 A. K.A. volume 2
已经在进行中。 already in progress.
正如我之前告诉你的，总统先生 As I told you before Mr. President
这不仅仅是关于变异白痴学生大军 it's not just about the army of mutant cretin students
是用受污染的炸玉米饼饲养的。 raised on tainted tacos.
你会很高兴知道这一点 You'd be happy to know that
生意兴隆 business is booming
我所说的“轰隆隆”并不是指某个学生的头脑爆炸。 and by booming , I ' m not referring to some student' s head exploding .
我的意思是我们周二要吃炸玉米饼，不仅仅是在每所学校 I mean we are gonna have taco Tuesday not just in every school
在新泽西州，但在学校里到处都是这个巨大的蓝色大理石。 In New Jersey, but in schools all over this big blue marble.
你会比巴伐利亚巧克力更富有 You are going to be richer than a Bavarian chocolate
融化在唐纳德·特朗普的蛋蛋上。 melting on the balls of,Donald Trump.
你这个混蛋！ You Asshole!
是的，确实如此。当你离开椭圆形办公室时 Yes, indeed. when you leave the oval office,
你会拥有一座让大卫营看起来像奥斯维辛集中营的豪宅？ you'll have a mansion that will make camp David look like, look like camp Auschwitz?
说到天然气，我们的小天然气计划效果很好。 And speaking of gas, our little gas plan is working great.
你不仅会变得富有，而且会变得年轻！ You're not just going to be rich , you are going to be young!
没错，你就要年轻了。 That's right, you are going to be young .
现在给爸爸喝耶稣汁吧。啊! Now Give Daddy his Jesus Juice. Ah!
放我出去吧！ Let me out!
我得离开这里！ I gotta get out of here!
这个笼子比我必须支付学生贷款还糟糕！ This cage is worse than having to pay my student loan bill!
戈德堡女士。现在！ Ms. Goldberg . Now!
作为你的原则，这是我的责任 As your Principle, it is incumbent upon me
解决您最近一系列的违法行为。 to address your recent rash of delinquent behavior.
粗暴对待有困难的学生 Malmener une étudiante en difficulté
欺负有特殊需要的女孩绝不是年轻女士的行为举止 Bullying a special needs girl is in no way for a young lady to behave
现在可怜的奇普斯先生已经被她的酸性呕吐物弄瞎了眼睛。 and now poor Mr. Chips has been blinded by her acidic vomit.
我们不会关心这种俗气的事情。 We won't concern ourselves with such tawdry matters.
但你想解释一下吗？ But would you like to explain this?
这是一款中规中矩的智能手机 It's a mediocre smart phone,
可能是美国教师工资中唯一能负担得起的东西。 probably the only thing you can afford on an American teacher salary.
我知道这是怎么回事。 I know what this is about.
这是关于我的博客中失踪的学生。 This is about my blog in the missing students.
我正在做某事，不是吗？ I'm on to something aren't I?
哦，是的，也不是。 Oh , yes and no.
你的博客充满了捏造和煽动性的谎言 Your Blog is filled with fabricated and inflammatory lies
Tromaganic 和我们政府补贴的午餐计划。 of Tromaganic and our government subsidized lunch program .
哦，当然，已经发生了几起无关的自发颅骨爆炸事件。 Oh sure, there have been a couple of unrelated instances of spontaneous cranial explosions.
化粪池里奇怪的阳具蛞蝓... The odd phallic slug in the septic tank...
但我会追查到底 But I ' ll get to the bottom of it
我不需要你的鼻子 And I don't need your nose in all up in
我如何履行职责。 how I perform my duty.
消除学生的恐惧 To wipe away our students fears
并将它们永远冲走。 and flush them away forever.
欢乐合唱团可能莫名其妙地变成了 The glee club may have been inexplicably transformed into
热门话题 潮人 hot topic hipsters
但我们在高中都会经历一些变化。 but we all go through changes in High school .
这就是所谓的青春期。 It's called puberty.
给你了。 There you have it.
事实证明我们的学生正在赞扬 Proof positive that our students are singing the praises
我们学校的午餐计划 of our school lunch program
同时... Meanwhile...
我的肚子里装满了炸玉米饼 I got a stomach full of tacos
我得拉屎。 and I gotta take a shit.
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
这贱人太狠了！ That bitch is ragging hard!
她看上去快要死了。 She looks like she is dying .
她没有死， She's not dying ,
她在扩张！ she's dilating!
我得拍一张这个狗屎的照片。 I gotta get a picture of this shit.
我也是。 Me too.
天啊！ OH GOD!
有件事告诉我这一点 Something tells me this
视频有可能传播得更广 video has the potential to go more viral
比《花花公子》豪宅里的查理·辛还要多。 than Charlie sheen at the playboy mansion.
你怎么样？ How did you?
你的矮胖朋友 Your pudgy pal
扎克向我提供了那个视频。 Zac provided me with that video.
他的告密只让我损失了几块烤牛肉 And all his snitching cost me was a few scraps of roast beef
和一盘不新鲜的甜甜圈。 and a plate of stale donuts.
他甚至不在乎它们是否不含麸质。 He didn't even care if they were gluten free.
啊!变得又胖又没价值。 Ah! To be fat and worthless.
我们应该帮助她吗？ Should we help her?
您需要获得执照才能成为医生。 You need a license to be a Doctor.
好吧，那是自己写的。 Well that one wrote itself.
现在这就是元。 Now that's meta.
那个女孩。 That girl .
那个小猫。 That pussy.
它，它就像一辆小丑车！ It's, it's like a clown car!
你知道，这是一个非常好的比喻。 You know, that's a really good metaphor.
其实女士们，这是一个比喻 Actually ladies, that's a simile
你正好有 You have exactly
24 小时内删除该博客 24 hours to take down that Blog
或者你和你的地毯咀嚼少女妓女的视频 or that video of you and your carpet munching girly whore
它将在“特洛马维尔早间谈话”电视节目中找到出路。 it's going to find its way under the Talking Tromaville Morning TV show.
为了那里的恐同特罗马维利亚人的享受。 For the enjoyment of the homophobic Tromavillians out there.
你早上过得怎么样？ How's your mornin ' been?
喝一杯早安乔 Grab a cup of morning joe
我们表演就要开始了。 we're about to start the show.
查拉和伍迪会给你的烤架带来微笑。 Charla and woody will put a smile on your grill .
说话的特洛马维尔！ Talking Tromaville!
今天我们将揭露特洛马维尔的许多同性恋者。 Today we are going to be exposing lots of homosexuals in Tromaville.
我喜欢它， I love it,
名人羞辱我最喜欢的消磨时间。 celebrity shaming my favorite pass time.
女士们先生们，就在这里谈论特洛马维尔。 Right here in talking Tromaville ladies and gentlemen .
会说话的特洛马维尔 Talking Tromaville
这是你的选择。 It's your choice.
天啊！ Oh God!
什么样的神？ What kind of God?
扎克出卖了我。 Zac ratted me out.
那个又肥又臭的烤牛肉芬克。 That fat smelly roast beef fink.
嘿，你能做什么？ Hey what can you do?
现在是斯纳克的时代。 It's the age of snark.
每个住在他妈妈地下室里的胖子、汗流浃背的失败者 Every fat sweaty loser living in his mom's basement
有博客和意见。 has a blog and an opinion.
看看扎克。 Look at Zac.
这是伊曼纽尔·刘易斯！ It's Emmanuel Lewis!
给我你那该死的乳头，你这个混蛋！ Gimme that fuckin tit you bitch!
不要这样做。 Don't Do it.
不要吃弱智的绳索 Don't eat the imbecile cord
运气不好。 its bad luck.
我们得找个地方洗澡。 We have to find a place to take a shower.
到自助餐厅的女士们。 To the cafeteria ladies.
去食堂！ To the cafeteria!
我在韦伯斯特爱过你。 I loved you in Webster.
把那个乳头给我。 Gimme that tit.
劳伦！ Lauren!
你还好吗？ Are you OK?
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
在这一集... On this Episode of...
特洛马维尔早间谈话秀， Talking Tromaville morning show,
劳伦生下了一个怪物婴儿。 Lauren gives birth to a monster baby.
但如何呢？ But How?
你连助产士都没有吗？ You didn't even have a mid-wife?
当他们和凯文一起强奸我时。 When they raped me with Kevin .
强奸鸭子！ Duck Rape!
我认为他让我怀孕了。 I think he impregnated me.
我想吸乳头！ I wanna suck the tit!
这肯定是一次过早的电子恐慌 It must have been a premature e-quackualtion
早木？ Morning wood?
感谢您的提醒。 Thanks for the Heads up.
对此我很抱歉。 I'm sorry about that.
青少年 Teenagers
野兽意大利！ Beastitaly!
等等什么？ Wait what?
是的，我知道。是否是像平板支撑一样的流行趋势？ Ya right I know. Is it a passing trend like planking .
是的，或者当他们倒冷水的时候 Ya or when they were dumping the cold water
互相为棒球筹集资金。 on each other to raise money for baseball .
孩子们 Kids
你想要放屁吗？？这是一个屁。 You want a fart?? Here's a Fart.
赫兹考夫先生，您确定您应该这样做吗？ Mr. Herzkauf are you sure you should be doing this?
屁收割机非常完美。 The fart Harvester is perfect.
但这款屁收割机尚未获得 FDA 批准。 But this fart harvester has not been approved by the FDA.
没有什么可担心的 There is nothing to worry about
这是青春的足迹。 it's the fartain of youth .
有些人可能称之为小便青春之泉。 Some may call it the fountain of pee youth .
明白了，撒尿年轻人。 Get it, pee youth.
跟我一起工作吧！ Work with me!
把该死的管子从我屁股里拔出来！ Take the fuckin' tube out of my ass!
那么副作用呢？ What about the side effects?
欢迎来到家长教师节 Welcome to parent teacher day
在特罗马维尔高中。 at Tromaville High school .
请记住，如果您的孩子失踪了， Remember if your child has gone missing ,
遭受无法解释的突变， suffered unexplained mutations,
头部爆炸 head explosions
或人体自燃。 or spontaneous human combustion.
请注意，我们不再承担责任 Beware we are no longer liable
即使我们有，你认为我们有钱吗？ and even if we were, do you think we have money?
我们是一所公立学校。 We are a public school .
你能把这件事闭嘴吗？ Will you hush that thing up?
我不知道怎么办。 I don't know how.
我不知道，吃它还是戳它什么的。 I don't know, eat it or poke it or something .
他们终于要制作《小精灵 3》了吗？ Are they finally making Gremlins 3?
乔·丹特会回来执导吗？ Is Joe Dante coming back to direct it?
你可以告诉我！ You can tell me!
这么多问题！ So many questions!
扎克！你为什么要出卖我？ Zac! why did you rat me out?!
听克丽丝！ Listen Chrissy!
我暴露你是女同性恋的原因很简单。 The reason I exposed you as being a Lesbo is simple.
我很痛苦。 I'm miserable.
我排斥任何靠近我的装饰。 I repulse every piece of trim that comes near me.
这烦人的声音到底是怎样的神啊？ What kind of a God combines this annoying voice?
加上这副可怕的身体。 With this awful body.
并赋予其令人厌恶的烤牛肉香气？！ And gives it a repugnant roast beef aroma?!
看在上帝的份上，我已经 15 岁了。 I'm 15 years old for God sakes.
我看起来像45岁了。 I look like I 'm 45.
我生来就带着这种可怕的痛苦。 I was born with this terrible affliction.
这就是所谓的“混蛋病”。 It's called douche-bag-atosis.
浑蛋症效应，每 7 个 Troma 演员中就有 1 个 Douche-bag-atosis effects,1 in every 7 Troma actors
我真正想要的只是实现我的两个人生目标。 All I really want is to fulfill my 2 life goals.
一、就是裸奔 One, is to run naked
作为一个肥胖的裸体主义者，确实是被排除在外的。 being truly excepted as a fat nudist.
第二个是操两个女孩，这是我无法比拟的。 The second is fucking two girls way out of my league.
这样的要求是否太过分了？ Is that too much to ask for?
告诉你什么是大男孩。 Tell you what big boy.
PTA 会议室空无一人。 The PTA meeting room is empty.
那么，你为什么不脱掉所有衣服，嗯，在那里见我们呢。 So why don't you take off all your clothes and um , meet us there.
哦。哦 。哦，所有， Oooh. Oh . Ooh , all ,
我所有的衣服？ all my clothes?
闭上眼睛，数到十。 Close your eyes, and count to ten .
如果你是一只真正的好狗，我们会把你的衣服还给你。 And if you are a real good dog we will give you your clothes back.
只要你操我们，就像我们以前从未被操过一样！ Just so long as you fuck us, like we have never been fucked before!
我要给你们吃沙包，啃地毯的母狗 I'm going to cornhole you , carpet munching bitches
我会射在你女同性恋的耳朵里。 and I 'm gonna cum in you lesbiotic ears.
这还不是所有的父母！ And that's not all parents!
在纯洁日 On purity day
我们将请凯西·李女士亲自来给女孩们做关于贞操的特别演讲。 we are going to have Ms. Kathy Lee give herself coming in to give her special speech on chastity to the girls.
时间刚好够再问一个问题。有人有疑问吗？ There is just enough time for one more question . Questions anyone?
谁准备好他妈的了？ Who's ready to fuck?
天哪，我很抱歉。 Oh God I 'm sorry.
让我来帮助你。 Let me help you.
就是这样！ That is it!
出去！出去！ Out! Out!
和你一起去禁毒室！ To the suspension room with you!
查拉，你不讨厌我们出于某种原因裸体出现在学校的那个梦吗？ Charla don't you hate that dream when we show up to school naked for some reason.
我确实如此，对于某些人来说，赤裸裸的梦想变成了赤裸裸的现实。 I sure do and for some people, that naked dream becomes and undressed reality.
我们将采访扎克·鲍德温 We will be talking to Zac Baldwin
谁不幸遇到了满月。 who had an unfortunate run in with a full moon .
查拉，木质的。我很愤怒。 Charla, woody. I am furious.
劳伦和克丽丝：你们无能、无阶级， Lauren and Chrissy: you clueless, classless,
嗅阴蒂，蛤蜊研磨者。 clit sniffing, clam lappers.
我一定会报仇的！哈!哈! I will have my revenge! Ha! Ha!
精彩的 。那是一位愤怒的女同性恋。 Wonderful . That is one angry lesbian .
当约翰尼大步回家时，我们都会感到高兴。 And we'll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home.
看看那个胖女同性恋！ Look at that fat lesbian!
住口。 Shut up.
我做了你想做的事。 I did what you wanted .
干得好。 Good work.
但如果你想成为一个白痴。 But if you want to be a Cretin.
你得有管子。 You gotta have the pipes.
所以请为我们带来一些东西。 So belt something out for us.
唱歌！唱歌！唱歌！ Sing! sing! sing!
我没有意识到看起来像眼球的东西 And I didn't realize that what looked like eyeballs
在我的阴茎上， on my penis,
其实是呃。 .一种可怕的性病。 was actually uh . .an awful STD.
呃，哈谁知道？ Uh , ha who knew?
现在这个场景可能是电影中最重要的场景。 Now this scene is probably the most important in the movie.
哦，好吧，现在准备好听这些，这些即将到来的台词。 Oh, OK now get, get ready to listen to these, these up coming lines.
这些线就在这里。 These lines right here.
这一部分确实总结了我 40 年的电影制作经历 This section really sums up my 40 years of film making
这是至关重要的，你甚至不应该听这个评论， it's pivotal and you shouldn't even be listening to this commentary,
或者这些，这些。你将会怀念我整个职业生涯的基础。 or these, these. You are going to miss the basis of my entire career.
我记得当我拍摄这个场景时，我服用了猫镇静剂 I remember when I was shooting this scene, I was sky high on cat tranquilizers
我觉得掩盖一下就可以了，只用三个镜头来掩盖这个场景。 and I thought it would be fine to cover, to cover the scene with only three shots.
正如你所知，我显然做出了正确的选择。 As you can tell,I obviously made the right choice.
我们可以看到 We can see that
通过公共领域音乐的国际语言。 through the international language of public domain music.
扎克能够说服白痴们 Zac is able to convince the Cretins
他拥有带领白痴们走向胜利的一切内裤。 that he has the underwear with all to lead the cretins to victory.
但我的叫喊已经够了。 But enough of my yapping.
这一幕会说话 This scene speaks
或者我应该说是为自己歌唱。 or should I say sings for itself.
太棒了。 That was awesome.
你是胖男孩。是的！ You are in fat boy. Yes!
让我们把那所学校推倒吧！ Let's take that school down!
那个地方是我们的了！ That place is ours!
我要亲手打倒那两个母狗！ And I am personally taking down those two dykes bitches!
但首先我要睡个好觉！ But first I 'm going to get a good night sleep!
Tromorganic 员工请注意 Attention , Tromorganic Employees
一批石膏填充食品已抵达九十四号坞站。 a shipment of plaster filler food stuff has arrived in docking bay ninety four.
记得打卡打卡。 Remember to punch your time cards.
不会有... There will be no ...
呃，把它粘在塑料食品里。 uh , stick it in the plasty food stuff.
是有机的不是吗？ It's organic isn't?
这样味道会更好吗？ It will make it taste better?
小心点，混蛋！ Look out,Mother Fucker!
正在出牙。 It's teething .
宝宝不会吵醒她吗？ Isn't the baby going to wake her up?
不，她是个酒鬼。 No. she's an alcoholic.
她睡了3次群交。 She slept through 3 gang bangs.
我们给他起什么名字？ What do we name him?
特丽呢？ How bout Terri?
还是她？ Or Her?
特丽怎么样？？ How bout Terri??
或者会吗？ Or will?
它？ -我要和特丽一起去。 It? -I 'm going to go with Terri .
嗯，听着。我被宝宝吓坏了 Um , Listen . I was so freaked out by the baby.
我忘了告诉你韦斯利计划开除我们 I forgot to tell you that wesley plans to expel us
关于特洛马维尔的早间电视节目。 on talking Tromaville's morning TV show.
会说话的特洛马维尔！？ Talking Tromaville!?
我喜欢那个节目。 I love that show.
我每天早上都会看《有毒十字军》之后的节目。 I watch every morning after Toxic Crusaders.
我想要色情片。 I want porn .
呃，听着。我认为你不明白。 Uh , listen. I don't think you understand.
韦斯利知道我们的关系。 Wesley knows about our relationship.
如果明天我不删除博客 If I don't delete the Blog by tomorrow,
韦斯利 (Wesley) 会将我们放在 Facebook 上并标记整个学生团体。 Wesley is going to put us on Facebook and tag the entire student body.
耶稣在弹簧单高跷上跳跃！ Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!
我们将成为我们自己的棒球事件中的明星。 We will be stars in our very own oxball incident.
上次，我被躲避强奸了。 Last time, I was ducked raped .
接下来怎么办？我的阴户里有一只豪猪？ What's next? A porcupine in my pussy?
蒂特，蒂特！ Tit, Tit!
删除博客。 Delete the Blog .
反正没人相信。 Nobody believes it anyways.
不是吗？ Don't you?
我恨你。 I hate you.
我想死。 I want to die.
把那个乳头给我。 Gimme that tit.
你知道我知道。 You know I do.
你知道我知道，哦克丽丝！哦操我那个巨大的 15 英寸 You know I do,Oh Chrissy! Oh fuck me with that huge 15 inch
像唯一敏感的女同性恋情人一样操我 fuck me like an only sensitive lesbian lover
上面有一条巨大的橡胶表带。 with a huge rubber strap on .
天哪，克莉丝！感谢上帝给了我凯格尔练习。 Oh my god Chrissy! Thank god for my kegel exercises.
没想到生了鸭子 I didn't think giving birth to a duck
会是这样的春药。 would be such an aphrodisiac.
缓解压力！ Stress relieving!
你有过吗？ 。 。 。尤金小姐？ Do you ever? . . . Miss Eugene?
今晚我们应该彻底爆发！ We should totally bang tonight!
尤金现在需要感受到这一点。 Eugene needs to feel this now.
啊伙计！ Ah man!
啊，伙计！你真的是一个男人！ Ah MAN! You really are a MAN!
有时 ... Sometimes ...
一点。 A little.
同时... Meanwhile...
哈!哈!你是个坏女孩。 Ha! Ha! You are a bad girl .
你的坏！ Your BAD!
嗯。嗯嗯。机器需要润滑。 Um . Mmmm . The machine needs greasing.
你准备好迎接这个宝宝了吗？ You ready for this baby?
哦爸爸。 Ya daddy.
香蕉！噢！ BANANA! Ow!
你想念凯文吗？ Do you ever miss Kevin?
你的鸭子？ Your Duck?
我爱凯文。 I love Kevin.
不！ No!
有时。 Sometimes.
但众所周知，鸭子在野外生存得很好。 But ducks have been known to survive well in the wild .
即使是那些有着变异的绿眼睛和锋利的牙齿的人。 Even ones with mutated green eyes and sharp teeth.
我希望如此。 I hope so.
我正在查看，查理在新闻台那边 I was just checking when Charlie over the news desk
试图打破。 trying to break.
他告诉我整个上午他都接到了大量的电话。 He tells me he's been flooded with calls all morning .
关于一些快速鸭子 About some rapid duck
或另一个一直威胁特罗马维尔公民的事件。 or another that has been menacing the citizens of Tromaville.
我们这里有杰克·斯温尼医生。 We have Doctor Jack swinney here.
他很好 He's good
谁是动物控制领域最重要的专家 who is the foremost expert in animal control
他将为我们分解它。 and he is going to break it down for us.
他做了特别的海豚操。 He did the dolphin fucker special .
医生。 Doctor.
我是动物方面的专家。我也是鸟类专家。 I am an expert on animals. I am also an expert on birds.
这只是时间问题 It's only a matter of time
在像这样的鸭子冲进我们的街道之前。 before a duck like this storms our street.
嗜血，撕裂我们的妇女和儿童。 Blood thirsty, ripping apart our women and our children .
因为我的朋友，我们已经从水力压裂变成了嘎嘎叫。 Because we have gone from fracking to quacking my friend.
斯温尼博士我们能在这场灾难中幸存下来吗？ Dr. swinney can we survive this scourge?
特洛马维尔能打败这只恶心、卑鄙、灾难性的鸭子吗？！ Can Tromaville possibly defeat this disgusting , despicable, disasterdly DUCK?!
或者我们所知道的人类已经完蛋了？ Or is humanity as we know done for?
这是犹太人，犹太人。 It's the Jews, the Jews.
赫兹考夫先生， Mr. Herzkauf,
这些记录表明这种食品 these records indicate that this foodstuffs
工厂存在大量安全违规行为。 factory is loaded with numerous safety violations.
督察，我可以保证你的安全 Inspector, I can guarantee your safety is of
至关重要。 paramount importance.
事实上，我们这里有四千名员工， In fact, we have four thousand employees here,
我把他们每一个人都视为家人。 and I regard each one of them as family.
告诉我的妻子我忘记拿奶酪了！ Tell my wife I forgot to pick up the cottage cheese!
呃呃，我们 Tromorganic Foodstuffs 拥有三千一百九十九名员工 Uh uh, we have three thousand one hundred and ninety nine employees here at Tromorganic Foodstuffs
我把他们每一个人都视为家人。 and I regard each one of them as family.
现在让我们继续我们的游览 Now let's continue our tour
我会带你去我们最新的反贿赂部门。 and I ' ll take you to our totally up-to-date bribe department.
请。 Please.
奇普斯先生是我最喜欢的科学老师吗？你在这里做什么？ Mr. Chips my favorite science teacher? what are you doing here?
噢，奇普斯和我我们已经是多年的好朋友了。 Oh , Chips and I we've been fuck buddies for years.
纠正世界！ Correct-o-mundo!
恶心。 Disgusting .
你出生后， After you were born ,
你的父亲沃伦对核废料着迷，导致他变异。 your father warren became obsessed with the nuclear waste that mutated him .
等待。 Wait.
你是说我父亲是沃伦 You mean my father is warren
来自 Nuke ' Em High 的第一届？ from the first Class of Nuke ' Em High?
是的。这还不是全部 Yes. And that's not all
抓住你的屁股。 Hold on to your butts.
沃伦成为了心仪之人。 Warren became Herzkauf.
沃伦·戈德堡不喜欢他的名字 Warren Goldberg didn't like his name,
所以他把它改成了Lee Harvey Herzkauf。 so he changed it to Lee Harvey Herzkauf.
嘿年轻的沃伦！ Hey young warren!
稍后见，伙计们！ See you later guys!
也许今晚我们可以聚在一起做作业，嗯？ Nd maybe tonight we can all get together and do homework, huh?
与此同时，我要去科学实验室，在自己身上做实验。 Meanwhile, I 'm going up to the science lab and experimenting on myself.
我将永远活着。 I'm going to live forever.
有一天，有一天我计划拥有特罗马维尔最大的快餐工厂。 Someday, someday I plan to own the biggest fast food factory in Tromaville.
或者也许是整个世界！ Or maybe the whole world!
他被它带来的力量所吞噬， He became consumed by the power it brought him ,
并开始对自己进行令人发指的实验。 and began to perform heinous experiments on himself.
多年来我们一直在追踪他的行踪 We've been tracking his movement for years,
并为了你自己的利益而对他隐瞒你。 and hiding you from him for your own good .
但沃伦开始快速变异。 But warren began mutating at a rapid rate.
化学物质开始改变他。 The chemicals began to change him .
腐蚀他。 Corrupt him .
他的身体衰老，五官扭曲。 Aged his body and distorted his features.
沃伦发起了 Kickstarter 众筹活动 Warren started a Kickstarter
并筹集了足够的资金创建一家食品公司。 and raised enough money to create a food products company.
世界上最大的之一。 One of the largest in the world .
他将这个大型企业集团称为“迪士尼”。 He called this mega conglomerate, '" Disney. '"
哦，我的意思是，“有机食品。” Oh , I mean, '"Tromorganic Foodstuffs. '"
很快他就会组建一支由变异白痴组成的军队， soon he will raise an army of mutated cretins,
并造成圣经规模的大规模破坏。 and cause mass destruction of biblical proportions.
他发现了一种转变的方法 He discovered a way to transform
狼吞虎咽地吃核废料和受污染的食物。 by gorging on nuclear waste and tainted food stuffs.
在八十年代，“不”并不意味着“不”。 Ack in the eighties, no didn't mean no.
沃伦让你妈妈被受污染的核大麻搞砸了。 Warren got your mother fucked up on contaminated nuclear marijuana.
接下来是 20 世纪 80 年代激情的管状之夜。 And what followed was a tubular night of 1980s passion.
你知道克莉丝， You know Chrissy,
也许也许今晚 maybe maybe tonight
我不会使用安全套，因为那样我们可能会生一个私生子 I won't use a condom , cause that way we might have an illegitimate child
谁可能会成为女同性恋。 who just might turn out to be a lesbian.
噢。管状。 Ooo. Tubular.
然后她就怀上了你。 And she got pregnant with you.
和很多八十年代的青少年一样， Like so many teenagers of the eighties,
她在学校卫生间把你流产了。 she aborted you in the school bathroom .
你幸存下来了。 Which you survived .
你游泳技术真好。 You're such a good swimmer.
你阿姨找到了你，把你带回家了。 You Aunt found you and brought you home.
你从一个讨厌的屁股蛞蝓成长为一个美丽的绽放女同性恋... You grew from a nasty ass slug into a beautiful blossoming lesbian...
...他显然花了 25 年才读完高中。 ...who apparently took 25 years to get through high school .
等待。但是受污染的食品和突变 Wait. But the tainted food stuffs and mutations
来自 Tromorganic Foodstuffs，我不。由...运营 come from Tromorganic Foodstuffs, I no. which is run by...
李哈维用心购买。 Lee Harvey Herzkauf.
不，那是不可能的。 No. That's impossible.
探寻你的感受，你知道这是真的。 Search your feelings, you know it be true.
你是说李·哈维·赫茨考夫是我的父亲？ You mean Lee Harvey Herzkauf is my father?
我是说沃伦。 I mean warren.
你有没有注意到你和你父亲的那张照片 Haven't you noticed that photograph of your father and you
这些年来一直在壁炉架上？ that's been on the mantel all these years?
它正看着你呢！ It's looking right at you!
父亲？ Father?
你愿意操我吗？ Would you fuck me?
我会操我。 I'd fuck me.
我会用力操我。 I'd fuck me hard .
我会用力操我。 I'd fuck me so hard .
宝贵的， Precious,
它在哪里？ where is it?
它在哪里？ Where is it?
我给你准备了美味的小吃。 I've got a yummy snack for you.
过来你这个小混蛋！ Come here you little shit!
宝贵的！ Precious!
你为什么要这样做？ Why are you doing this?
这不是很明显吗？ Isn't it obvious?
美好的... Fine...
科学界的最新研究 Recent studies in the scientific community
已证明吸入胀气 have proven that the inhalation of flatulent gas
预防各种常见疾病。 prevents all sorts of common ailments.
作为奖励，它闻起来非常好。 And it smells pretty damn good as a bonus.
疾病，例如腹泻， Ailments such as, Diarreah,
糖尿病， Diabetes,
心脏病， Heart Disease,
和脱发 and Hair loss
这些都可以通过闻屁来预防。 can all be prevented by smelling farts.
但很多人不知道的是 But what many people don't know
就是吸高中生的屁 is that inhaling the farts of high school students
谁接触过我们的专利核炸玉米饼 who have been exposed to our patented nuclear tacos
已被证明可以逆转衰老过程。 has been shown to reverse the aging process.
第一次说科学很臭 For once saying science stinks
是一件好事！ is a good thing!
不，等等，别点燃那个！ No wait don't light that!
你不会知道，看着我， You wouldn't know it to look at me,
但我已经六十多岁了。 but I 'm over sixty years old .
多亏了你的煤气， Thanks to your gas,
我的屁股是一个十岁男孩的屁股。 my ass is the ass of a ten year-old boy.
你生气了。 You're mad .
政府绝对不会放过你。 There's no way the government's going to let you get away with this.
哈!你认为谁在支付和补贴 Ha! who do you think is paying and subsidizing
为我的青年计划放屁？ for my gas fart-aine of youth program?
是的！感谢我华盛顿的肥猫们 Yes! Thanks to me the fat-cats in Washington
将成为好莱坞的酷猫。 are going to be turning into the cool-cats of,Hollywood .
你是个怪物！ You're a monster!
还没有。 Not yet.
只要我有源源不断的青少年空气饼干， As long as I have a steady supply of teenage air biscuit,
我没有办法改变 there is no way that I will transform
变成一个结构不良的非铰接式的， into a poorly constructed non-articulated ,
草率设计的两千美元怪物 sloppily designed two thousand dollar monster
连嘴都合不上。 that can't even close its mouth .
我们中断这个程序 We interrupt this program
为您带来 TNN 快讯。 to bring you fast breaking TNN news.
据官方消息，联合国宣布一场全球灾难。 It's official , the united Nations has declared a worldwide disaster.
Tromorganics 食品的传染， The Tromorganics Foodstuffs contagion,
几周前开始的 which began several weeks ago
在新泽西州特罗马维尔， in Tromaville, New Jersey,
现已传播到200多个国家。 has now spread to over 200 countries.
让数百万疯狂的白痴陷入悲惨的境地。 Leaving millions of crazed cretins in its woeful wake.
随着更多关于这个悲剧的发展故事，Tromorganic 炸玉米饼， With more on this developing story of the tragic,Tromorganic tacos,
我们带您前往 Chet Bodan，从蒙古乌兰巴托进行现场报道。 we take you to Chet Bodan , reporting live on location from Ulan Bator, Mongolia.
切特？ Chet?
谢谢，查克。 Thanks, Chuck.
消息人士告诉我们 Sources have told us that
Tromorganics 食品的蔓延几个月前就开始了 Tromorganics Foodstuffs contagion started months ago
被送到高中、大学后， after being shipped out to high schools, universities,
以及世界各地的无家可归者收容所。 and homeless shelters all over the world .
白宫、国会和莱米总统 The white House, Congress, and President Lemmy
否认有任何知情或参与。 deny any knowledge or involvement.
是否真的会传染 Is it true that the contagion
已经渗入地球的供水系统了吗？ has been seeping into the Earth's water supply?
没错，查克。 That's right, Chuck.
密歇根州第一弗林特 First Flint, Michigan ,
然后是日本福吉岛， then Fukijima, Japan,
现在新泽西州特罗马维尔， now Tromaville, New Jersey,
这样的例子不胜枚举。 and the list goes on and on.
现在我们带您去现场采访我们的记者。 We now take you to our reporters in the field .
让我们看看这些令人不安的图像 Let's have a look at these disturbing images
来自世界各地。 from around the world.
TNN 有现场团队报道。 TNN has live team coverage.
世界卫生组织让我们失望了。 The world Health Organization has failed us.
疾病预防控制中心让我们失望了。 The CDC has failed us.
联合国让我们失望了。 The UN has let us down .
政府让我们失望了。 The government has let us down.
大家都被警告了 Everybody was warned
但没有人做任何事 but nobody did anything
直到它出现在他们的后院。 until it was in their backyard .
好吧，各位， Well folks,
现在它在这里 now it's here
众所周知的变异狗 the proverbial mutated dog
已被化学污染的垃圾场 has taken a chemically polluted dump
在您的后院，未经 FDA 批准。 in your backyard with no FDA approval .
食品药品监督管理局在哪里？ Where is the FDA?
联邦应急管理局在哪里？ Where is the FEMA?
艾尔·夏普顿牧师在哪里？ Where is Reverand,Al Sharpton?
玉米饼。 Tacos.
你知道切特， You know Chet,
世界各地的人们都在崩溃，这真的让我很困扰 it really bothers me that people are melting down all over the world
正如我们所知，人类的终结。 and humanity end as we know it.
但是，有一件非常严重的事情 But, there is a truly serious matter
我们还没有解决这个问题 that we haven't even addressed yet,
金·卡戴珊今天拉了三顿健康的大便。 Kim Kardashian took three healthy shits today.
没错，查克。 That's right, Chuck.
是否可以 Is it possible
这些孩子可能只是快闪族的一部分 these kids could just be part of a flash mob
提高对贪食症的认识？ raising awareness for bulimia?
其实不，贪食症快闪族 Actually no, the bulimia flash mob
直到下周五才安排 is not scheduled till next Friday
在密苏里州立大学学生中心。 at the Missouri state university student Center.
我们没有关于正在发生的事情的官方消息。 We have no official word as to what's happening .
但本着有线电视新闻的精神 But in the spirit of cable news
以及对收视率的追求， and the quest for ratings,
现在我们将重复这些令人作呕的图像 we will now repeat these images ad nauseam
通过散布恐惧来增加收视率。 to increase viewership through fear mongering.
华盛顿的肥猫 The Fat Cats at Washington
想成为好莱坞的酷猫。 want to be the Cool Cats of Hollywood .
我告诉你， I'm tellin ya,
这是一个阴谋。 it's a conspiracy.
为什么允许在飞机上吃炸玉米饼？ Pourquoi autoriser les tacos dans les avions?
我们为什么要让炸玉米饼带上飞机？ Why are we letting the tacos on to the planes?
这一切都是一个阴谋。 It's all a conspiracy.
我们需要立即关闭边界。 We need to close the borders immediately.
有人说 Tromorganic 对此负有责任。 Some say Tromorganic is responsible.
我们需要停止欺凌这些公司。 We need to stop bullying these corporations.
我们都知道这到底是什么意思。 We all know what this is really about.
这都是关于大麻合法化的。 It's all about the legalization of pot.
同性婚姻。 Gay Marriage.
- 还有肮脏的犹太人。 。 - And the dirty Jews. .
- 肮脏的犹太人。 - The dirty Jews.
什么样的神？什么样的神？ What kind of God? what kind of God?
可能是印度人之一。 Probably one of the Indian ones.
什么样的上帝允许怪物 What kind of God allows a monster
像赫兹考夫那样传播并毁灭世界？ like Herzkauf to propagate and destroy the world?
我恨你。我不给... I hate you. I don't give a fu ...
你说得对。我们必须杀死上帝。 You're right. we must kill God .
让我们从赫兹考夫开始吧。 Let's just start with Herzkauf.
哦现在怎么办？ Oh now what?
我会得到它。 I'll get it.
克莉丝·戈德堡，你的博客的来源是什么？ Chrissy Goldberg, what are the sources of your blog?
美国女同性恋喜欢德国粪便色情片吗？ Do American lesbians enjoy German scat porn?
您在哪里购物？ Where do you do your shopping?
天啊，闭嘴！ Oh my God , shut up!
说实话，你不关心腐败吗 Seriously, don't you care about the corruption
Tromorganics 食品 of Tromorganics Foodstuffs
或者他们正在变异并毒害学生群体的事实 or the fact that they are mutating and poisoning the student body
或者他们会奴役我们所有人？ or they're going to enslave us all?
你们真的是地毯咀嚼者吗？ Is it true you're carpet munchers?
你们当中哪一个是男的？ Which one of you is the man?
看着我。 Look at me.
大家都知道媒体都是一群白痴。 Everyone knows the press are a bunch of idiots.
女同性恋真的喜欢剪刀吗？ Do lesbians really like to scissor?
我们有什么可害怕的呢？ What do we have to be afraid of?
我们被变异了，被欺负了， We've been mutated , bullied ,
我被鸭子强奸了。 I got duck raped .
你的博客不是诽谤吗？ Isn't your blog slanderous?
WTF。 WTF.
我女朋友博客上的所有内容 Everything on my girlfriend's blog
是真的。 is true.
告诉他们我的爱。 Tell them my love.
我的小雷切尔·玛多。 My little Rachel Maddow.
告诉他们一切。 Tell them everything .
抓住她的胸部！ Grab her boob!
就像现实一样，编程污染了我们的电视。 Much like reality, programming has tainted our,Televisions.
你好？ Hello?
是的，总统先生。 Yes, Mr. President.
那边到底发生了什么？ What the hell is going on over there?
先生，您是什么意思？ What do you mean , sir?
打开电视。 Turn on the TV.
韦斯特利校长一直在勒索我和我的灵魂亲吻生活伴侣。 Principal westly has been blackmailing me and my soul kissing life partner.
那个贱人！ That Bitch!
我们都会做出选择。 We all make choices.
赫兹考夫先生，您会如何回应 Mr. Herzkauf, how would you respond
对于 Tromorganic 农场毒害世界各地儿童的指控？ to the accusations that Tromorganic Farms is poisoning children all around the world?
你认为我能想出这么愚蠢的情节吗？ Do you think I could come up with a plot that stupid?
而我也不会再隐藏了。 And I will no longer hide.
现在就照顾它吧！ Take care of it now!
噢，那个贱人，我希望她能打断她的阴蒂！ Oh that bitch , I hope she stubs her clit!
所以... So...
既然你知道了这一切， Now that you know all that,
这是怎么回事？ what's up?
- 阴道是什么味道？ - What does vagina taste like?
- 你用带子吗？ - Do you use a strap on?
毛茸茸的腿和法兰绒衬衫是怎么回事？ What's the deal with the hairy legs and flannel shirts?
你害怕患上喉癌吗 Are you afraid of getting throat cancer
是由大量的舔阴账户推动的吗？ fueled by abundance accounts of cunnilingus?
你知道迈克尔·道格拉斯所说的吗？ You know like Michael Douglas claims?
我不知道。 I don't know.
女同性恋混蛋，你杀了我们的两个白痴兄弟 Lesbo cunt, you killed two of our Cretin brothers
现在我们要杀了你和你的小鸭子妈妈！ And now we're going to kill you and your little mother fucking duck!
抓住她的手！ Get her hands!
这不是特许学校！ This ain't no charter school!
我们将为您提供 Lesbo 疗法！ We're gonna give you the Lesbo remedy!
那么我们对赫兹考夫该怎么办呢？ So what do we do about Herzkauf?
我们必须让这帮人团结起来。 We have to get the gang together.
是的，我们有责任阻止赫兹考夫。 Yes, it's up to us to stop Herzkauf.
是的，我们去找劳伦吧 Yes, let's get Lauren
劳伦？ Lauren?
帮我！ Help me!
劳伦？ Lauren?
来吧，劳伦。 Come on Lauren.
我们上课要迟到了！ We're late for class!
劳伦？ Lauren?
后院！ The backyard!
劳伦？ Lauren?
当赫茨考夫先生说放屁时，你就放屁！ When Mr. Herzkauf says fart, you fart!
我不能！ I can't!
我是素食主义者！ I'm a vegan!
什么样的神？ What kind of God?
不用担心这个 Don't worry about that
这只是有点混蛋的感觉。 It's just a touch of douchebag-a-tosis.
七分之一的特洛马演员中就有一个受到“笨蛋”的影响。 Douchebag-a-tosis affects one out of every seven Troma actors.
现在一切都在按计划进行。 Now everything is going according to plan .
这场全球性的传染病 This worldwide contagion
正在创建一支由变异白痴组成的军队， is creating an army of mutated cretins,
很快我就会变得强大。 and soon I will be all powerful .
呃。老板，我们遇到了问题。 Uh . Boss, we got a problem .
我们没汽油了。 We're out of gas.
这个气袋怎么样？ What about this gas bag?
这个水箱是空的。 This tank is empty.
在弹簧单高跷上跳耶稣！ Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo stick!
叫我的人力车， Call for my rickshaw,
我需要去学校买点新鲜的肉。 I need to get to the school and get some fresh meat.
是的，先生！ Yes, sir!
它正在发生。它正在发生！ It's happening . It's happening!
闯红灯！ Run the red light!
我得去学校了！ I've got to get to the school!
赶快！ Hurry up!
是的，先生！ Yes, sir!
特洛马维尔高中是左第二个。 Tromaville Highschool is the second left.
Westly，我已经付给你数百万美元了 Westly, I've been paying you millions of dollars
当我到达学校时，我希望那些青少年排队！ and when I get to the school , I want those teenagers lined up!
我需要那屁股汁！ I need that ass juice!
你听我说！ You hear me!
气体！我要汽油！ Gas! I need gas!
老板，坏消息，我们没油了！ Boss, bad news, we're out of gas!
当然我们没油了！ Of course we're out of gas!
你觉得我去学校是为了什么？ What do you think,I 'm going to the school for?
我正要。 。 。我怎么了？ I'm about to . . . what's happening to me?
我们没汽油了。煤气煤气！ We're out of gas. Gas Gas!
燃料！ Fuel!
你说谁是傻子？ Who you calling fool?
如果那些孩子没有排队 If those kids aren't lined up
还疯狂地放屁， and farting like crazy,
我要扭断你的脖子！ I 'm going to rip your neck out!
我步行去。 I'm going on foot.
同学们注意了。 Attention students.
我希望你们中的任何一个正在遭受胀气的人 I would like any of you who are suffering bouts of flatulence
到我的办公室报到 to report to my office
临时支持小组。 for an impromptu support group.
他妈的滚出去！ Get the fuck out!
我们都跑到学校去吧。 Let's all run into the school .
我们都知道那是最安全的地方 We all know that's the safest place
学校枪击事件期间。 during the school shooting .
劳伦？ Lauren?
扎克！ Zac!
呃嘿！斯莱特兄弟... Uh hey! slater bro...
是的，我几乎听不到你说话。 Yeah , I can barely hear you .
克丽丝，你必须下来。 Chrissy, you got to get down here.
白痴们有你那么热辣、甘美， The Cretins have your oh-so-hot, luscious,
身体坚硬，腹肌可以舔掉鲜奶油， hard bodied , abs you could lick whip cream off,
胡利汉神父心脏病发作的腿 legs that would give,Father Hoolihan a heart attack
女朋友。 girlfriend .
他妈的她很热！ Fuck she's hot!
是的 ， Yeah ,
呃，尽快叫凯利来和我见面，好吗？ uh, get Kelly and meet me there asap OK?
我的天啊 。这附近那些该死的警察在哪里？ Oh my God . where are the fucking cops around here?
我们来装扮一下吧。 Let's suit up.
封锁 。 Lock down .
封锁！ Lock down!
特罗马维尔高中即将封锁！ Tromaville High is going on lock down!
噢我的宝贝！请不要伤害他！ Oh my baby! Please don't hurt him!
住口！ Shut up!
现在行动吧！ Now move!
我要去 I'm going
射杀他妈的婴儿！ to shoot the fucking baby!
移动！ Move!
抓住她的阴部！ Grab her by the pussy!
现在你已经做到了，赫兹考夫 Now you've done it,Herzkauf
你这个傻瓜。 You fool .
你对放屁的痴迷让他们发疯了！ Your fart huffing fetish has driven them mad!
无论如何，我讨厌这些该死的孩子们。 I hate these bastard goddamn kids anyway.
他妈的这个！ Fuck this!
哦天哪。 Oh god damnit.
我受不了。 I can't take it.
你为什么不直接操我的屁股？ Why don't you just fuck me in the ass?
用 来结束它。 Get it over with .
就这么干吧你这个混蛋！ Just do it you bastard!
把我的气吸出来！ Suck out my gas!
标签失败！ Hashtag Fail!
一切都好吗老板？ Everything OK boss?
嘿，戴尔，漂亮的胯部火箭！ Hey, Dale, nice crotch rocket!
谢谢特里斯坦，你看过最新的泰伦斯·马利克电影吗？ Thanks Tristan, did you see the newest Terrence Malik movie?
去他妈的，我要回家听迈克尔·博尔顿的歌。 Fuck this, I 'm going home to listen to Michael Bolton .
拿着那个愚蠢的轮胎！ Take that you stupid tire!
你被解雇了！ You're fired!
不，不，不。 No, no, no.
请不要强奸我。请。请。别强奸我。 Please don't rape me. Please. Please. Don't rape me.
请。请。 Please. Please.
别强奸我。 Don't rape me.
请！ Please!
别强奸我。请。 Don't rape me. Please.
请不要强奸我。 Please don't rape me.
请！ Please!
别强奸我。 Don't rape me.
请不要把那个粘糊糊的大东西放进我体内。 Please don't put that big slimey thing in me.
拍我屁股 Slap me on the buttocks
用你那巨大的爪子！ with that big, giant claw of yours!
请！请！ Please! Please!
请不要强奸我。 Please don't rape me.
请！ Please!
不！ No!
请！ Please!
请不要强奸我。 Please, don't rape me.
别填满我的精液桶 Don't fill my cum bucket
带着你闪闪发光的粘液怪物粘液。 with your shimmering , slimey, monster goo.
哦，是的。我要装满你的精液桶 Oh yeah . I 'm going to fill your cum bucket
和我闪闪发光的粘糊糊的怪物粘液。 with my shimmering , slimey monster goo.
不不！ No. No!
特拉维斯现在停止编辑机器。 Travis stop the editing machine now.
停止！ Stop!
不！ No!
停止！我知道你想做什么。 Stop! I can see where you're going with this.
你正试图在这部电影中加入射精场景。 You're trying to sneak in an ejaculation scene into this movie.
特拉维斯，这是你做的吗？ Travis, did you do this?
这是你的主意吗？ Was this your idea?
不，考夫曼夫人！这是他的主意！ No, Mrs. Kaufman! It was his idea!
那是马克·托格尔。 That's Mark Torgl.
他在原版《有毒复仇者》中扮演小梅尔文。 He played little Melvin in the original Toxic Avenger.
看看讽刺吧！ Look at the irony!
他正在自慰， He's jerking off,
他他在我的角色眼中射精 he he cums in the eye of my character
谁几乎完全转变了， who's almost fully fully transformed ,
然后我作为怪物，我做了显而易见的事情， and then I as the monster, I do the obvious,
我拿起扫帚和/或拖把，然后把它塞进他的屁股里 I take the broom and or a mop and I I shove it up his ass
然后他的阴茎就出来了。 -不！ and it comes out his penis. -No!
小飞象小飞象认为他需要羽毛 Dumbo the Elephant thinks he needs the feather
飞翔 to fly
你认为你需要所有这些性行为， and you think that you need all this sex,
所有这些暴力和所有这些胸部 and all this violence and all these boobies
以及所有其他的东西都是为了拍出一部好电影。 and all this other stuff in order to make a good movie.
而你不需要它！ And you don't need it!
你正在制作一部很棒的电影。 You're making a great movie.
好吧，好吧，好吧，蓝围裙主妇。 Alright, alright, alright Blue Apron Housewife.
而不是射精场景， Instead of the ejaculation scene,
我们去拍摄一个精彩的新场景怎么样？ how about we go and film a wonderful new scene?
当白痴们在学校里疯狂的时候， While the Cretins are going crazy in the school,
毁掉学校， destroying the school ,
一个美丽的年轻学生，有着漂亮的乳房 a beautiful young student with nice breasts
和她的教授一起下楼。 goes downstairs with her professor.
特拉维斯明白了。 Travis get this.
老师说， The teacher says,
“我不在乎你是否被六个白痴轮奸 " I don't care if you got gang raped by six Cretins
你得了肛门疣。 and you got anal warts.
我是你们的班主任，我爱你们！ ” I am your homeroom teacher and I love you! "
他们即将让猴子热恋。 They're about to make hot monkey love.
年轻的女孩如此迷恋这位尊贵的年长男人 The young girl is so enamored with the distinguished older man
她甚至没有注意到那粘液 that she doesn't even notice that slime
来自怪物的水滴在那些甘美、美丽的有趣袋子上。 from the monster is dripping on those luscious, beautiful fun bags.
当怪物出现时， When the monster,
我的角色现在完全变了，有了尾巴， my character, is fully transformed now with a tail ,
尾巴缠绕着小鸡的腿 and the tail wraps around the chicks legs
然后插入她的阴道。 and then penetrates her vagina.
就在她的阴户里。 Right into her cunt.
停止。不！ Stop. No!
不！ No!
有这个就够了！ There is enough of this!
我们不需要更多的阴茎。我们不需要阴道。 We don't need more penises. we don't need vaginas.
E不需要阴茎和阴道...... E don't need penises and vaginas...
...在这部电影中。 ...in this movie.
裸体女孩已经够多了 There's enough of the naked girls
尾巴进去了。停下来吧！ And tails going in . Just stop it!
听我说完。听我说完。 Hear me out. Hear me out.
与幽冥区域的场景结束后。 After the scene with the nether regions.
尾巴缠住了她的头，压碎了她的头。 The tail wraps around her head , and crushes her head.
这是 Troma 头部粉碎。 It's a Troma Head Crushing .
然后，然后在场景的最后 And then , and then at the end of the scene
老师说， the teacher says,
“抱歉，我来自奥兰治县。 "sorry, I 'm from Orange County.
我没有道德。 ” I have no morals. "
会很完美，对吧？ It'll be perfect, right?
不不。 No, no.
你不会拍摄那个场景。 You're not going to film that scene.
上面有我的名字。 It's got my name on it.
我是制作人之一。 I'm one of the producers.
我不想在我的电影中看到这个。 I don't want this in my movie.
好吧好吧，我给你你想要的。 Alright, alright I 'm going to give you what you want.
第一修正案的地狱。 The Hell with the First Amendment.
我们要对其进行审查，特拉维斯，继续吧。 We're going to censor it, Travis go ahead .
然后我们就会有一部不错的PG级电影 Then we'll have a nice PG rated movie
除了特拉维斯和我之外，每个人都会很高兴。 And everyone will be happy except for Travis and Me.
但是我们可以再看一次射精吗？ But can we, can we see the ejaculation one more time, please?
不，不，我的电影里没有。 No. No. Not in my movie.
哦哦，什么样的神？ H oh what kind of God?
请， Please,
别把那个脉动的怪物放进我顽皮的洞里。 don't put that pulsating monstrosity in my naughty hole.
我的天啊！离开！ Oh My God! Go away!
讲我的故事。 Tell my story.
省略掉我拉裤子的部分。 Leave out the part where I shit my pants.
混蛋，你有我的鼻子！ Bastard , you have my nose!
等一下， Wait a minute,
现在爸爸必须给我买一个新鼻子。 now Daddy has to buy me a new nose.
最年长的人承受的最多 The oldest hath bore most
我们年轻人从来没有见过这么多，也没有活过这么久。 we who are young have never seen so much or lived so long.
斯莱特！ Slater!
我认识那个人，他是我们科学课上的那个人。 I knew that guy he was in our science class.
劳伦！ Lauren!
快点 。 Come on .
我来了！ I'm coming!
咱们组队去吧！ Let's go gang!
沾满鲜血滑倒。 Slipping on blood .
对不起，劳伦， I'm sorry Lauren ,
但唯一更糟糕的是 but the only thing worse
而不是因为自己是同性恋而被欺负 than being bullied for being gay
因胖而被欺负！ is being bullied for being fat!
劳伦！ Lauren!
坚持住啊混蛋！ Hold it fuckers!
把它放下！ Put it down!
这是为了撕掉我的鼻环，贱人！ This is for ripping out my nose ring, bitch!
好吧好吧。 Well well .
你们想看我裸体，对吗？ You guys wanted to see me naked, right?
好吧，我在这儿。 Well here I am .
让我给大家介绍一下 Let me introduce you guys
给我的朋友。阿尔伯特亲王！ to my friend . Prince Albert!
是时候强奸孩子了！ Time to rape the baby!
什么鸭子？ What the duck?
去你的！ Fuck you!
凯文！我在任何地方都能认出你卧室那双美丽的棕色眼睛。 Kevin! I'd recognize those beautiful brown bedroom eyes of yours anywhere.
这是给你们这些失败者的坚果！ Here's a nut for you losers!
移动移动移动移动。 Move move move move.
你还好吗，伙计？ Are you okay, buddy?
熄火了吗？ Did it go off?
是的，它熄灭了。 Yeah , it went off.
但我很好。 But I 'm fine.
这是一个奇迹！ It's a miracle!
噢，伙计。真的很痛。 Oh man. That really hurts.
克莉丝。 Chrissy.
是的。 Yes.
你的女朋友太性感了。 Your girlfriend is oh-so hot.
拥有可以舔掉鲜奶油的腹肌。 Has abs that you could lick whip cream off.
胡利汉神父的腿可能会心脏病发作。 Legs that would give,Father Hoolihan a heart attack.
你照顾她，好吗？ You take care of her, okay?
不！不！ No! No!
宝贝！ The baby!
说话的特洛马维尔！ Talking Tromaville!
顺便说一下克丽丝， By the way Chrissy,
当你在这部电影的后面的卷轴中看到一个怪物时， when you see a monster in the later reel of this movie,
那个怪物是你的父亲！ that monster's your father!
劳伦！ Lauren!
你知道我很怕痒。 You know I 'm ticklish .
现在还不是时候！ Now is not the time!
戒掉吧！ Quit it!
爸爸，别停下来！ Dad , stop no!
是我，克丽丝，你是女儿。 It's me,Chrissy, you're daughter.
停止这一切疯狂吧。 Stop all this madness.
我知道你就在那儿的某个地方。 I know you're in there somewhere.
我知道你很生气妈妈 And I know that you're mad that Mom
为了另一个女人离开了你。 left you for another woman .
但你必须接受它！ But you have to accept it!
妈妈是同性恋！ Mom's gay!
爸爸，我也是同性恋。 And Dad , I 'm gay too.
这是一个新的时代，这是一个新的黎明，这是特洛马维尔的新一天。 It's a new age, it's a new dawn , it's a new day at Tromaville.
事情已经改变了。 Things have changed .
地狱 ... Hell ...
这是一个新的新泽西州。 it's a new New Jersey.
拜托，我爱你。 Please, I love you.
我爱你。 I love you.
抱歉我们来晚了。 Sorry we're late.
奇普自己也拉屎了。 Chip shit himself.
获取激光！ Get the laser!
我得到了它！ I got it!
开枪吧！ - 按一些按钮！ Shoot it! -Press some buttons!
开枪吧！ Shoot it!
这个游戏最大 This game is the biggest
狗屎。 piece of shit.
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
感谢上帝，我们在前面坠毁了 Thank God we crashed in front
迈克尔杰克逊烧伤中心。 of the Michael Jackson burn center.
他们所做的皮肤图工作，从你的屁股到我的脸上？ And the skin graph work they did , from your ass on my face?
现象级的 Phenomenal
是的，实际上看起来好一点。 Yeah , actually it looks a little bit better.
脸上的毛发多一点 A little more hair on your face,
但除此之外你看起来棒极了。 but other than that you look terrific.
不幸的是，我失去了我的阴茎。 Unfortunately, I lost my penis.
好消息是剩余的保险金 And the good news is that the left over insurance money
这辆全新的 1977 年雷鸟 (Thunderbird) 颠覆了我们的观念。 flipped the bill on this brand new 1977 Thunderbird .
与另一部电影中翻转的最后一个相同。 Identical to the last one that flipped over in the other movie.
所以当我开车带我们所有人时，不会有任何问题 So nothing could possibly go wrong as I drive us all
观看今晚的 Foghat 激光表演。 to tonight's Foghat laser light show.
没有什么可以阻止我们观看激光表演。 And nothing is going to stop us from seeing that laser light show.
直行 。 Straight ahead .
好的。开始了。 OK. Here we go.
啊啊啊，讽刺啊！ Ahhhh , the irony!
哦，那是可怕的杂草！ Oh that is awful weed!
为什么史努比狗狗能得到所有好东西？ How come snoop Dogg gets all the good stuff?
这是为什么？ Why is that?
我在和谁说话？ Who am I talking to?
我是最终决定权。 I'm the final authority.
什么？ What?
你杀了上帝！ You killed God!
我杀了上帝。 I killed God .
你还得杀掉赫兹考夫。 You still got to kill Herzkauf.
不！ No!
拍不到清晰的照片。 Can't get a clear shot.
等等，别开枪凯文！ Wait, don't shoot Kevin!
你可能只有一次机会。 You might only have one shot.
我只需要一枪就够了。 One shot is all I need .
让我们他妈的狗屎！ Let's fuck shit up!
呃。 。 。跑步！ Uh . . . Run!
等等，宝贝！凯文！ Wait, the baby! Kevin!
我们没有时间， We don't have time,
去！ Go!
你看到那个狗屎了吗？啊哈！ Did you see that shit? Aha!
不再。 No more.
我们的食物不会再中毒了。 There will be no more poisoning of our food .
不再有，呃，同性恋恐惧症。 No more, uh , homophobia.
不再有欺凌行为。 No more bullying.
再也不用他妈的考试了！ No more fucking exams!
并且不再有核心课程！ And no more core curriculum!
我很抱歉我是个混蛋。 I'm sorry I was such a dick.
我想我从来都不知道什么是真爱 I guess I never really knew what true love was
直到有人抽出一根阴茎并在我脸上挥舞。 until somebody whipped out a penis and waved it in my face.
我只是想确定你和我，你知道…… I just wanted to make sure that you and me were, you know...
如果你想拥有一个怪异的家庭， if you ever want to have a freaky ménage,
你得到了我的数字戈德堡。 you got my digits Goldberg.
机器恢复上线了！ The machine is back on line!
哈撒旦！ Hail Satan!
我是特洛马维尔失踪学生中最后的幸存者。 I'm the last remaining survivor of the missing Tromaville students.
其他的都被扔进了 Tromorganic Foodstuffs All the others were thrown into Tromorganic Foodstuffs
为了满足美国农业部的日常标准。 in order to meet the USDA's daily standards.
如果不是你的爆炸，我可能会吃到一些肥胖的美国人的墨西哥卷饼。 Had it not been for your explosion , I would've ended up n some obese American's burrito.
谢谢。 Thank you.
很高兴我们能提供帮助。 Glad we could help.
凯文！ Kevin!
你成功了！ You made it!
我的宝贝。 My Baby.
我们的宝贝。 Our Baby.
谢谢。 Thank you.
谢谢你，凯文。 Thank you, Kevin.
我也爱你这个老庸医！ I love you too you old quack!
凯文！ Kevin!
你要去哪里？ Where are you going?
你现在是我们家庭的一员了。 You're part of our family now.
但是等等，还有更多！ But wait, there's more!
他妈的特洛马维尔高！ Fuck Tromaville High!
去他妈的 Tromorganic 食品。去他妈的赫兹考夫！ Fuck Tromorganic Foods. And Fuck Herzkauf!
就让他来承担吧！ Let him take the fall!
啊，他妈的！ Ah, mother of fuck!
好吧，我的准将们， Well my brigadiers,
我们学到了什么？ what did we learn?
我认为我们都学到了一些宝贵的教训。 I think we've all learned some valuable lessons.
我们知道，爱可以战胜一切。 We've learned that love conquers all .
即使你的伴侣被水禽怀孕了。 Even if your partner is impregnated by water fowl .
我们了解到欺凌是错误的。 We learned that bullying is wrong .
并唱公共领域的理发店歌曲 And singing public domain barber shop songs
在暴力杀人的同时…… while violently killing people...
嘿，这不是生活的方式。 Hey that's no way of going through life.
毕竟你可能会被一只巨大的变异鸭子屠杀 After all you might get slaughtered by a giant mutated duck
名叫凯文. named Kevin.
我们了解到，重返 Nuke'Em High We learned that Return to Nuke'Em High
第 1 卷和第 2 卷相加为 3。 volumes 1 and 2 add up to 3.
把这部电影分成两卷有意义吗？ Did it make sense to split this movie into two volumes?
我不知道。 I don't know.
如果您支付了两部分费用， If you paid for both parts,
嘿，这听起来是个好主意。 hey it sounds like a good idea.
现在，我们来回顾一下影片的重要片段。 Now, let's review the important segments of the film .
最重要的是， And most important,
我们了解到吃发光的绿色炸玉米饼 we learned that eating glowing green tacos
由一个无情、贪婪的公司制造 manufactured by a heartless, greedy corporation
非常不健康。 is very unhealthy.
现在请想一想 Now please think
在你推它之前 before you shove that
油炸钠填充， fried sodium filled ,
诱发心脏病发作， heart attack inducing,
快餐进入你的食道。 fast food down your gullet.
毕竟 ， After all ,
你就是你所吃的东西。 you are what you eat.
还有请， And please,
不要忘记回收松散的罐子和瓶子。 don't forget to recycle loose cans and bottles.
现在，请原谅我， Now, if you ' ll excuse me,
我参加 Foghat 激光表演迟到了。 I'm late for the Foghat laser light show.
我的深蓝色 70 年代汽车 My dark blue, 1970s car
和朋友们在楼下等我。 and friends are waiting for me downstairs.
哦，顺便说一下，Excelsior！ Oh , and by the way, Excelsior!
天哪，你不讨厌电影不再受欢迎吗？ God , don't you hate it when movies wear out their welcome?
哦，是的，是的。 Oh yeah , yeah .
就好像一个坏消息故事被分成两部分 It's almost as if a bad news story is broken up into two parts
下半场在三年后播出 and the second half airs three years later
没有明显的原因。 for no apparent reason .
说到这里， Speaking of which ,
明天，我们将看看 42 个不同的结局 coming up tomorrow, we're going to take a look at the,42 separate endings
彼得·杰克逊的《王者归来》加长版！ to Peter Jackson's extended cut of Return of the King!
在那之前，这里是会说话的特洛马维尔 Until then, this is Talkin'' Tromaville
说有趣的话会让你笑。 saying makalaka hi meka hiney ho.
菜单菜单 Think oh Farsen Meeny meeny teekalee oh farsen
一个智者，我认为是希拉里·克林顿， A wise man, I think it was Hillary Clinton,
曾经说过 once said that
过去的错误 the mistakes of the past
那些不注意它们的人。 by those that don't take note of them .
我们以为我们摆脱了特洛马维尔 We thought we rid Tromaville
腐败和腐败的食物， of the corruption and the corrupted food ,
但大企业并不是怪物 but big business is no monster
可以被几个硬仗打败 that can be defeated by a couple of hard
身体好的女同性恋者。 bodied lesbians.
我应该知道，因为我是克丽丝·戈德堡， I should know, for I am Chrissy Goldberg ,
这是多年来食用辐射炸玉米饼的结果 and this is the result of years of radiated taco consumption
和鸭油菜。 and a duck rape.
所以请注意这个警告， So heed this warning,
因为未来会影响我们。 for the future will affect us.
未来发生的事件将影响我们所有人的未来。 Future events will affect us all in the future.
是吗，我的爱人劳伦？ Isn't that right, Lauren my love?
克丽丝，克丽丝，我爱你！ Chrissy, Chrissy, I love you!
我爱你！ I love you!
我爱你。 I love you.
但你必须对转基因生物说不 But you got to say no to the GMOs
否则你也可能会发现自己变异了 or else you too might find yourself mutated
重制版中变成了黑色侏儒！ into a black midget in a remake!
这不是翻拍。 It's not a remake.
这是重新启动。 It's a reboot.
这更像是一种重新想象。 It's more like a re-imagining .
为什么你总是要伤害我的感情？ Why do you always have to hurt my feelings?
我只想一生中成为一次大人物。 I just want to be the big man for once in my life.
你永远是我的大男人。 You're always going to be my big man .
我爱你。 I love you.
嘿尤金！你在这里做什么？ Hey Eugene! what are you doing here?
事实上，我是来观看《Return to Nuke ' Em High》第三卷的。 Actually, I 'm here for Return to Nuke ' Em H igh volume 3.
哇哦，太酷了！ Oh wow, that's cool!
总统不会生气，他们会采取外交手段。 Presidents don't get angry they get diplomatic.