让我们想象一个画面
Let’s paint a picture.
你在当地的乐购便利店买东西
You are grocery shopping at your local Tesco
这时一个85岁老头将一枚手雷扔到了你的购物车里
when an eighty-five year old loon lobs a grenade at your shopping trolley
然后炸毁了你买的东西
and explodes your groceries,
他跑出了商店
runs out of the store,
坐街对面的地铁逃跑了
escapes via the tube station across the street,
乘地铁到了伦敦圣潘克拉斯火车站
takes the tube to London St. Pancras railway station,
搭上了早上7点55分前往法国巴黎北站的欧洲之星快车
and boards the 7:55 am Eurostar service to Paris-Nord in France.
成百上千磅的货物在你们面前燃烧
Hundreds of pounds of goods are now burning in front of you.
你对这个画面熟悉吗？
Is this image familiar to you?
当然很熟悉
Of course it is.
很多人都有同样的经历
Many people often suffer from the same experience,
这是因为他们在日常购物中犯了致命的错误
and it is because they have made a fatal mistake in their shopping routine.
你发现了吗？
Do you see it?
答案显而易见
The answer is obvious.
你的购物车是没有武装的
Your shopping trolley is an unarmored target
无法自我防卫
with no method of defending itself,
这招致了灾难
which is an invitation for disaster.
今天我们将向您展示如何改装您的购物车
Today, we will show you how to modify your shopping trolley
以便您能够在危险的凌晨三点的伦敦南区
to successfully shop at a Tesco express in the dangerous area
成功在乐购便利店购物
that is south London at 3AM.
我们先升级武器
Let’s begin by upgrading the armament.
我们将首先安装一把12.7毫米M2HB布朗宁重机枪
We will begin by mounting a 12.7mm M2HB Browning heavy machine gun,
再装一挺机枪用于防空
Plus another for anti-aircraft purposes against aerial attacks,
如果你住在伯明翰的话那就得装更多机枪
and a few more if you live in Birmingham.
我们还可以安装一套”奖杯”主动防御系统
We can also install a Trophy active protection system
以防御反坦克导弹
as a countermeasure against anti tank guided missiles,
火箭弹 反坦克火箭弹
rocket propelled grenades, anti-tank rockets,
和高爆反坦克弹药的攻击
and high explosive anti-tank rounds.
该系统采用自锻弹头 通过先发制人地引爆弹丸
The system uses a self-forging warhead to destroy oncoming threats
来摧毁迎面而来的威胁
by preemptively detonating the projectile.
这样我们的购物车将不再容易受到
Our shopping trolley is thus no longer vulnerable
您可能遇到的各种威胁的伤害
to a multitude of threats you may encounter.
现在我们的购物车唯一
The only thing that our shopping trolley cannot
无法有效防御的是动能穿甲弹
effectively defend against now are kinetic energy penetrators,
这就是为什么我们会将反坦克导弹发射器
which is why we will mount ATGM launchers on
安装在购物车上 在敌人击穿我们之前
our shopping trolley to penetrate the enemy
首先击穿敌人
before the enemy penetrates the trolley.
你可能已经注意到了
As you may have noticed,
我们在购物车上安装的额外改装重量
the additional weight of the modifications we have installed on our
使得手动推进变得不切实际
shopping trolley has made it impractical for manual propulsion.
我们可以通过安装一台5.4升12缸
We can solve this problem by mounting
双涡轮增压汽油发动机来解决这个问题
a 5.4-litre 12-cylinder twin-turbocharged petrol engine
它有着1100马力7800转速
producing 1,100 brake horsepower at 7,800 rpm
以及五档手动变速箱
and five speed manual transmission.
得益于购物手推车的轻巧结构
Thanks to the lightweight construction of shopping trolleys,
我们可以达到最佳推重比
we can achieve an optimal power to weight ratio,
这使得我们的购物车具有极高的加速度
which gives our shopping trolley extremely high acceleration
以及最佳高速性能
and top speed properties.
这使我们能够在敌人周围进行侧翼机动
This enables us to make flanking maneuvers around the enemy
并在转弯时进行一些横向超车
and also do some sick outside overtakes on turns.
现在让我们在同样的场景下
We will now test our modifications by placing
测试经过升级改装的购物车
our improved shopping trolley in the same situation again.