我一直都很喜欢清洁身体 I've always loved getting clean.
我喜欢沐浴 I love baths.
我喜欢洗澡 I love showers.
那是我的欢乐之地 It's my happy place.
那曾是我的欢乐之地 Was my happy place.
B宿舍所有囚犯必须去检查身上有没有虱子 All inmates in B dorm must be checked for lice.
重复一遍 Repeat,
B宿舍所有囚犯必须去检查身上有没有虱子 all inmates in B dorm must be checked for lice.
我一会儿就出来 我保证 Oh. I'll be out in a sec. I swear.
我可以等着 你最好给我留点热水 I'll wait. There best be some hot water left.
我来洗的时候就没多少热水了 There wasn't very much when I started.
快点 快点 Come on, hurry.
好的 好了 好了 All right. Okay. Okay.
我洗完了 出来了 我这就出来 I'm done. I'm out. I'm totally out.
哎哟 你的奶子可真美 Damn, you got some nice titties.
谢谢夸奖 Thank you.
你的奶子简直和电视上见的一样 You got them TV titties.
一对玉乳 昂"头"挺"胸" 神气活现的 They stand up on they own, all perky and everything.
好吧 Okay.
你知道物资部那边是有拖鞋卖的 You know they sell flip-flops at the commissary.
我的钱还没汇过来 所以 My money's not in yet, so...
你可真有创意 我得夸奖你这一点 挺胸妹 You creative, I give you that, high tits.
快给老娘滚开吧 Now get the fuck outta the way.
好吧 Okay.
*我知道有个地方* *I know a place that's got, *
*无人悲伤哭泣* *hey, ain't nobody crying. *
*无人烦恼忧心* *Ain't nobody worried...*
所以 那里面烤着一整头猪吗 So, there's an entire pig in there.
是的 Yes.
就我们4个人吃吗 For four of us.
那只是头小乳猪 It's a small pig.
我真的想试一下这个烤箱 I really wanted to use the box.
这是我的生日礼物 It was my birthday present.
她很愧疚她得离我而去了 She's guilty she's leaving.
那是个因愧疚而赠送的烤猪箱 It's a guilt-pig-roasting-box.
至少你还得到一份礼物啊 At least you get something.
我也一年时间都不能做爱 I'm not getting laid for a year, too,
但我得到了什么呢 but what do I get?
一个孩子吗 A baby?
但孩子可不能吃 But you can't eat it.
我们真要吃那玩意儿吗 Are we really gonna eat that?
那可是今晚的主题 It's thematic.
你又不是要去古巴服刑 You're not serving time in Cuba.
猪 警察 Pigs. Cops.
你他妈的明天怎么就去看守所了呢 How the fuck are you going to jail tomorrow?
是监狱 不是看守所 Prison. Not jail.
你要错过我家宝宝的送礼会了 You're missing my shower.
波丽 我真的很抱歉 Polly, I'm really sorry.
我知道 I know.
你得把注意力放在如何在监狱保养你的眉毛上 You focus on how you're gonna maintain your eyebrows behind bars.
你可不能就剩一条眉毛回来 You may not come back with a unibrow.
我可以哭一场吗 Am I allowed to cry?
不行 说真的 不可以 No. Seriously, no.
好了 我们准备好了 大家都进屋吧 Okay, we are ready. Everybody inside.
-你需要个升降机来吊起你 -是啊 - You need a hoist? - Yeah.
大肚子姑娘 Big girl.
去吃最后的晚餐啦 Onto the last supper.
-我们得做一次 -我知道 - We gotta do it. - I know.
-天啊 我们真不该吃那么多的 -是啊 - God. We really should not have eaten so much. - I know.
-来吧 我们必须大干一场 -好的 - Come on, we got to rally. - Okay.
创造一些性福的回忆 明白吗 Make some memories, you know?
你需要一些打飞机的刺激性素材 You need some spank-bank material.
你这么说的话... Oh, well, I mean, when you say it like that...
-等等 我得去... - 怎么了 - Oh, wait. I got -- - what?
-我得去撒尿 -什么 别啊 - I gotta pee. - What? No.
-非去不可 -真的吗 -Yeah. - Really?
我一会儿就 马上 I'll just- I'll be...
我快速解决就回来 I'll be- I'll be right back.
你真美 You look beautiful.
谢谢 Thanks.
该死 Oh, shit.
怎么了 What?
你也很美 You look beautiful, too.
快来 上床来吧 Come on. Get in.
你哭了 You're crying.
-别说话 直接干我吧 -帕波 - Shh. Just fuck me. - Piper...
别说话了 求你了 求你了 Shut up. Please. Please.
好吧 Okay.
美国司法部联邦教改局 联邦教改机构 纽约 利奇菲尔德
今天不准探视 No visiting today.
你好 我是主动来服刑的 Hi, um, I'm here to surrender.
那好吧 Okay, then.
你觉得他看上去很惊讶吗 Did he look surprised to you?
我刚说我是来主动服刑的 When I said that I was here to surrender?
他看上去是不是很惊讶 就像在想 Didn't he look surprised, like,
她跑这儿来搞什么鬼呢 what the hell is she doing here?
我 我没注意 I– I– I didn't notice.
我觉得他看上去很惊讶 He looked surprised to me.
我看上去糟糕透了 I look like shit.
我的眼睛都肿肿的 My eyes are all puffy.
你现在竟然在担心你的形象吗 You're worried about how you look?
她们会看出来我哭过了 Well, they're gonna know that I was crying.
那会显示出我的软弱 It's a sign of weakness.
绝对不能表现出软弱 You can't show any weakness.
那本书上重点就强调了这个 That's what all of the books said.
小甜心 Oh, sweetie.
别叫我小甜心 Don't call me sweetie.
好吧 莱纳德 Oh... Leonard.
那好多了 That's better.
我不能把这个带在身上 I can't take it with me.
好吧 也对 Okay, right.
你在干什么呢 What are you doing?
什么 What?
你在 你不能把它放在口袋里 What are you-- You- you can't put that in your pocket.
洗衣服的时候就会掉进洗衣机滚筒里的 It's gonna end up in the bottom of the washing machine.
好吧 那你希望我 Okay. Where- where would you like me
把它放在哪里 帕波 to put it, then, Piper?
塞进你的屁股里 Up your ass.
那地方可没空间了 There's no room.
显然 我已经一个头两个大了 Apparently, my head's already up there.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
没关系的 It's okay.
不如这样吧 You know what?
我把它放在我的钱包里 好吗 I'm gonna put it in my wallet, okay?
等我回家以后 And when I get home,
我就把它放进你的首饰盒里 I will put it in your jewelry box.
哪天我交不起房租了 就把它拿去当掉 Until I'm short on rent, then I may hock it,
但我会在你出狱之前再赎回来的 but I'll try to get it back before you're out.
我们该进去了 We should go.
好的 Okay.
好吧 Okay.
主动来服刑的 Self-surrender.
是啊 也没人通知我 Yeah, well, no one told me either.
文件就在我手上呢 Got the paperwork right here.
名叫查普曼 Name is Chapman.
对 "渣破" Yeah. Chap.
就像你的嘴唇变得很干 Like when your lips get all dry,
然后就渣裂破皮了 they're chapped.
去坐一下吧 Have a seat.
帕波 跟"狙击手"押韵 Piper, rhymes with sniper.
你饿吗 You hungry?
不太饿 Not really.
还是吃点吧 是意式奶酪 Eat anyway. It's burrata.
谢谢 Thank you.
我妈妈跟她朋友说 My mother told her friends
我去非洲做义工了 I'm doing volunteer work in Africa.
我敢说她们一定都大惊失色 I bet they're all appalled that
你竟然去了那么脏乱又危险的地方 you've gone somewhere so filthy and dangerous.
我从来没携过毒品 只转运过黑钱 So I never carried drugs, just... money.
你曾是个拉拉吗 You were a lesbian?
那时候是的 At the time.
你现在还是个拉拉吗 You still a lesbian?
不 我现在不是拉拉了 No, I'm not still a lesbian.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
我读波特女校时曾吻过玛丽·斯特利 I once kissed Mary Straley when I was at Miss Porter's school,
但那不是为了我爽 but it wasn't for me.
你知道这些事吗 Did you know about all this?
不知道 不 我不知道 No. No, no, I- I didn't.
她告诉过我她大学毕业后曾四处旅行 I mean, she told me how she traveled after college,
但她没说她曾有过一个同性恋人 but she failed to mention the lesbian lover
而且是个做国际毒品走私交易的 who ran an international drug-smuggling ring.
你可以想象一下我有多惊讶 Imagine my surprise.
你拿那些钱干什么了 What on earth did you do with the money?
外婆 我干那个其实根本不是为了钱 Grandmother, I wasn't really in it for the money.
帕波 你真是疯了 Piper, for heaven's sake.
这是我作为自由人的最后一条微博了 So, this is my last post as a free woman.
你打算写点什么 What you gonna write?
不行 你不能在这里面用手机 Oh, no. You cannot have a phone in here.
这里是联邦政府机构 This is a federal facility.
你必须拿出去 You have to take that out.
可以吗 我可以出去吗 Oh, can I? Am I allowed to go out?
是他可以拿出去 He can take it out.
所以我不能用手机是吗 So no... no phone.
-你早知道的 -快点 - You knew that. - Now.
天啊 莱瑞 等我出狱 Oh, my God. Larry, by the time I get out,
iPhone恐怕都已经更新三代了 there'll have been, like, three new generations of iPhone.
先生 别等我叫警卫送你出去 Sir, I can get an officer to escort you out.
不用 我这就出去 No, I'm going.
没那个必要 我这就出去 It's okay. I'm going.
我去去就来 好吗 Okay, I'll be right back, okay?
我去把手机放进车里 I'll take the phone to the car.
我马上就回来 好吗 I'll be right back, okay?
-两秒钟 好吗 -好的 - Two seconds. Yeah? - Okay.
两秒钟 Two seconds.
查普曼 Chapman!
在 在 是我 Yes. Yes, that's me.
但你得稍微等一下 Um, but you have to wait.
你在命令我该怎么做事吗 You telling me what I have to do?
给我滚过来 查普曼 Get your ass over here, Chapman.
快点 过来 Now. Move it.
他马上就会回来 He's- he's gonna be right back.
我们已经在这儿等了两小时了 We've been waiting here for two hours.
现在等待时间结束了 And the wait is over.
这是你的临时身份证 Here's your temporary I.D.
你到时候就把这个贴在你的囚服上 You'll stick this on your uniform when we get to that.
我来了 我来了 Here I am. Here I am.
他来了 Here he is.
-这是谁 -我未婚夫 - Who's this? - My fiance.
是吗 祝你出狱后他还是你未婚夫 Yeah? Good luck with that.
-你说什么 -有没有携带私人物品 - Excuse me? - Any personal items?
在这儿 Here.
你不能把这支票带进去 Can't take this check.
但我们上周打电话咨询过 他们说可以带 But we called last week, and they told me to bring it.
他必须先寄去爱荷华州 He has to send it to Iowa.
需要几周的时间处理 It takes a few weeks to process.
几 几周吗 A- a few weeks?
她在里面不需要买东西吗 Doesn't she need to buy things?
规矩就是这样 How it is.
我们该寄去哪儿 Where do we send it?
嘿 你有爱荷华州那地方的地址吗 Hey, you got that Iowa address?
里面有夹带裸照什么的吗 Any nudie judies in here?
肉照 不雅物品 Skin pics? Naughty stuff?
没 没有裸照 No. No nudie judies.
该说再见了 Time to say goodbye.
你可能得过段时间才能探视 未婚夫 It might be awhile till you can visit, fiance.
我好爱你 I love you so much.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
-我一有机会就会给你打电话的 -好 - I'll call you as soon as I can. - Okay.
好吗 你一定要快把那张支票寄出去 Okay? Please send that check immediately.
好的 我会的 Okay, I will.
我爱你 你一定要帮我及时更新个人主页 I love you. Please keep my website updated.
我真的好爱你 I love you so much.
没事的 It's okay.
你穿多大码的鞋 What size shoe are you?
9.5码 10码都可以 Nine and a half, ten.
这些看上去像是汤姆家的鞋 These are kinda like Toms.
汤姆是谁 Who's Tom?
汤姆鞋是一个鞋的品牌 你买一双 Toms are shoes. When you buy a pair,
公司会免费赠送一双给贫困缺鞋儿童 the company gives another to a child in need.
他们家鞋很棒 They're great,
而且提供很多不同的颜色和... and they come in lots of different colors and-
那可真好啊 How nice.
脱光 Strip.
过来 Get over here.
你会想我吗 Are you gonna miss me?
当然 Yes.
想得发疯 Too much.
-跟我一起去吧 -什么 - Come with me. - What?
去巴厘岛 Come to Bali.
跟我一起去吧 我是认真的 Come with me. I mean it.
我可以给你买张机票 I'll buy you a plane ticket.
你是认真的吗 Are you serious?
是的 Yes.
跟我一起去吧 Come with me.
辞了你的工作 随我一起走 Quit your job and come with me.
我 我得提前告知一下老板 I- I... I'd have to give notice.
你就是个低下的服务生 You're a fucking waitress.
你才不需要什么事先通知 You don't need to give notice.
我会陷入麻烦吗 Will I get in trouble?
天啊 那才好呢 God, I hope so.
你知道我指的是什么 You know what I mean.
你不需要做任何事 You don't have to do anything.
你只是给我做个伴罢了 明白吗 You're just there to keep me company, all right?
来吧 宝贝 我希望你能来 Come on, babe, I want you to come...
我也希望你能"来"高潮 And I want you to come.
愿意吗 你这是同意了吗 Yes? Is that a yes?
好的 我愿意 Yes. Yes.
张开嘴 把舌头伸出来 Open your mouth, stick out your tongue.
举起双臂 Lift up your arms.
转过去 Turn around.
蹲下 Squat.
分开双臀 咳嗽几下 Spread your cheeks and cough.
真要这样吗 Seriously?
就这些人了吗 Is that it?
还有一个 稍等一下 One more coming. Hold on.
我的拉链坏了 My zipper's broken.
第一次吗 First time down?
我第一次到这个监狱来吗 My first time here?
不 你是第一次入狱吗 No, your first time in prison.
是的 Yeah.
里面情况还不算糟糕 大家都还不错 It's not so bad. Everyone's okay.
你得小心东西被人偷 You got to watch out for the stealing.
你叫什么名字 你姓什么 What's your name? Your last name.
这里的人都用姓来互相称呼 Everyone uses last names here.
我叫莫里洛 这是沃森 I'm Morello, and that is Watson.
我姓查普曼 Chapman.
你的刑期是多长 查普曼 And how much time you got, Chapman?
15个月 Fifteen months.
那还不算太糟糕 我要蹲34个月 Aw, that's not so bad. I got thirty-four,
但我希望能够减刑 那样就可以少蹲些了 but I'm hopin' with good time, it'll be less.
所以你也是个...他们竟然让你开车吗 You-- So you're a... They let you drive?
不然谁来开呢 Well, who else is gonna do it?
这里什么活儿都是我们自己干 We do everything around here.
我能问你一点事情吗 Hey, can I ask you something?
你看上去像是会知道的那种人 You look like you'd know.
好了 你觉得这两件婚纱哪个更好 All right, which dress do you like better?
我最爱的两件是那个有对称的褶皱 My top two faves are the ones with the half-and-half lids
卡在书页中间的 stuck to the pages.
是这样 我希望挑到一件 See, I-- I want something
能彰显我独特个性的婚纱 that's gonna express my personality.
而关键之处在于 And the trick is,
我想凸显我的双乳和翘臀 I want to show off the boobs and the ass,
但我对自己的上臂和肚子不太满意 but I'm not so happy with the upper arms and the stomach,
所以难就难在这里 so there's the challenge.
两件都挺漂亮 They're both nice.
你看了半天就这么一句话吗 That's all you got to say?
我必须打扮得漂漂亮亮的 I got to look good.
我的第一支舞要被上传到YouTube网站的 My first dance is gonna go on YouTube.
瞧啊 我找到一块奇石 Look! I found a rock
像是一根阴茎加一个卵蛋 that looks like a penis with one ball.
不是吧 No.
第一位登上月球的人 曾切除一侧睾丸
我要给它取名为兰斯·阿姆斯特朗石 It's my Lance Armstrong rock.
举高点 让我看看 让我看看 Hold it up. Let me see, let me see.
真不错 快用舌头轻柔地舔一舔 Nice! Okay, now, lick it softly and tenderly
就像他未曾爆出违禁药丑闻之前 你愿意为他做的那样 like you would have when you thought he was clean.
天啊 快把相机关了 Oh, Jesus. Shut that thing off.
你这是在犯一个天大的错 You're making a huge mistake.
这段很可能在网络走红的 This could go viral.
-说真的 快关了 -怎么了 - Seriously, shut it off. - What?
我因为压力过大暴饮暴食 肥了好多 I'm so fat from all the stress eating.
我可不希望被你的摄像头记录下来 I really don't want a record of it.
话说 我打算把这列为在监狱的必备活动了 You know, that's one thing I'm gonna do in prison.
我一定要练好身材 像杰姬·沃纳那样 I'm gonna get ripped, like Jackie Warner ripped.
我打算把我亚马逊收藏夹里的所有书都读完 And I'm gonna read everything on my Amazon wish list
或许再学一门手工 and maybe even learn a craft, you know?
我也可以成为个手艺人 I could be crafty.
我一定要让这段经历充满价值 莱瑞 I'm gonna make it count, Larry.
我才不要就这样虚掷我人生中一年的光阴 I'm not gonna throw away a year of my life.
你在找什么鬼东西呢 What the hell are you looking for?
不是吧 那是什么 Oh, no. What is that?
帕波 Piper.
天啊 莱瑞 你怎么会想要... Oh, Jesus, Larry. Why would you want-
我为什么希望一个犯了重罪的 前女同 Why would I want a felonious, former lesbian,
非犹太白人 且即将入狱的姑娘嫁给我呢 WASP-shiksa who's about to go to prison to marry me?
是啊 而且我因为压力大暴食肥了这么多 Yes, and all of the stress eating.
因为我这个独特的 尚未功成名就的 Well, because this peculiar, underachieving,
待业的犹太男孩很爱她 underemployed Jew boy loves her...
并且知道 跟她在一起永远不会觉得无聊 and knows that he will never be bored
总觉得不敢相信 能遇到她是多么幸运 and can't believe how lucky he is that he met her.
我必须在你离开前把这事定下来 小帕 I got to lock this shit down before you leave, Pipes.
我爱你 I love you.
你愿意嫁给我吗 You want to marry me?
等我出来以后再结 对吗 When I get out, right?
随便你想什么时候都行 Whenever you want.
我一定会练就好身材的 I'll be so ripped.
你到时候穿的婚纱 You could wear a wedding dress
可以选择半体紧身衫那种 that's like a- like a half shirt, you know?
-展现一下你的腹肌 -是啊 - Show off those abs. - Yeah.
这是你奶奶的戒指吗 Was it your grandmother's?
不是 我妈打算把那个留给我妹妹 No, my mom's saving that one for my sister.
这是我姑奶奶玛莎的 This is my Great-Aunt Marcia's.
她得了甲状腺癌 She had thyroid cancer
她养过很多德国猎犬 且都取名为希纳普 and a series of schnauzers all named Schnapps.
关于她我就知道这些 That's all I know.
戴上吧 我调整过尺寸了 来吧 Put it on. I had it sized. Go ahead.
真漂亮 It's beautiful.
你这算是答应了 对吗 And that's a yes, right?
是啊 我愿意 Yes. Yes.
你能为了我再说一次吗 Will you say that just one more time for me,
但这次要对着摄像头说 好吗 but this time just into the camera, okay?
你个混蛋 Oh, you asshole!
来嘛 我想记录下这一刻 Come on, I had to capture the moment.
-怎么了嘛 -快给我 - What? - Give me that!
你身上好凉 快过来 Oh, you're cold. Come here.
把腿上下抖动几下 Bounce your legs up and down.
-那样你的脚就会暖和 -谢谢 - It keeps your feet warm. - Thanks.
你觉得等你出狱 You think your man
你男人还会在等着你吗 is still gonna be around when you're out?
是啊 他会等我的 Yeah, he'll be there.
我是他毕生的挚爱 I'm the love of his life.
34个月可是很长一段时间 Thirty-four months is a long time.
是啊 但她可是他毕生的挚爱 Yeah, but she's the love of his life!
谁他妈问你了 And who the fuck asked you?
人都到齐了 Head on up.
到时候 他的领带必须和伴娘的裙子颜色配对 All right, so his tie is gonna match the bridesmaids' dresses.
总共会有6个伴娘 There's six bridesmaids.
我表妹是个贱人 My cousin's being a bitch,
所以我正考虑把她除名 so I'm thinking about dropping her.
好了 走吧 All right, let's go.
-你好 克劳黛小姐 -莫里洛 - Hello, Miss Claudette. - Morello.
当心那家伙 Watch out for that one.
别误会我的意思 她是个好人 Don't get me wrong, she's a good lady,
但你不会想跟她作对的 but you don't wanna get on her bad side.
走吧 快点 Go ahead. Go.
好了 我会让你们去过一遍手续 Okay, I'm gonna send you all through to processing,
你们会被分配到一个囚室 you'll get your room assignments,
然后在这里集合 and I'll meet you back here
带你们去各自床位 明白吗 and show you your bunks. Okay?
别这么一副苦瓜脸 Don't look so bummed.
容易长皱纹的 Gonna get the wrinkles.
好了 抬起头 看着镜头 All right, raise your head and look at the lens.
该死的 Oh, crap!
新来的 New guy,
你叫什么名字 本尼特是吗 what's your name, Bennett?
本尼特 这玩意儿又他妈不能用了 Bennett, it's not fucking working again.
-你开机了吗 -废话 我当然开机了 - You turn it on? - Yeah, I turned it on.
等等 我觉得我搞定了 Wait, I think I got it.
-准备好了吗 -是的 - Ready? - Yeah.
等下 不行 Wait, no.
这个按钮是起什么作用的 What does this button do?
别 别碰那个 No! Don't touch that.
不好意思 小公主 Sorry, princess.
那边有根线 There's a cord right there.
你们觉得那根线是不是需要接上什么东西 Do you think that that needs to be connected to something?
闭嘴 站好 Shut your mouth and stand still.
-她说的对 -好吧 行 - She's right. - Okay, fine.
拍好了 Got it.
我还没准备好呢 I wasn't ready.
真糟糕 下一个 Tough shit. Next.
这是在做肺结核检查 This is a TB test.
静脉可真干净 Nice veins.
-没有吸毒注射的针孔 -谢谢 - No track marks. - Thanks.
有纹身吗 Tattoos?
有 Oh, yeah.
小鱼啊 你喜欢鱼吗 Oh, a fish. You like fish?
我在一次潜水中见到的这种鱼 Saw it on a scuba diving trip.
我觉得很漂亮 Thought it was beautiful.
我不喜欢鱼肉 I don't like fish.
我喜欢猪肉 鸡肉 I like pork, chicken.
但那条鱼很漂亮 But it's a pretty fish.
谢谢 Thanks.
我一出汗就会抹掉了吧 It's gonna rub off when I sweat.
不 不会的 这是防水的 No, it won't. It's waterproof.
别弄了 Stop.
等这纹身一干 So, when this dries,
你就可以出发了 you should be good to go.
我要怎么才能弄掉这个啊 How am I gonna get it off?
用丙酮洗 Acetone.
好吧 艾丽克斯 我不... Great. Alex, I don't,
我不知道我是否能够... I don't know if I can...
你是个善良的金发淑女 不是吗 You are a nice blonde lady, aren't you?
一个正经的年轻女士 A proper young lady.
你只需在行李领取处拿上自己的包 Just picking up her sensible bag in the baggage claim
然后去到中档酒店 过一遍行程安排 before heading off to her midrange hotel to go over her schedules.
去参观博物馆 吃高级大餐 Museum visits and fancy dinners.
一切都会没事的 It's all fine.
一切都会平安无事的 It's all good.
我会在布鲁塞尔和你会合 And I will meet you in Brussels,
一切都会顺利进行的 宝贝 and everything will work out perfectly, babe.
我保证 I promise.
一切都会没事的 It's all gonna be okay.
你没事吧 Are you okay?
我想 还好 Fine. I guess.
"粑粑"是什么 What's PoPi?
波帕 Poppy.
是一套浴室产品系列 It's a bath products line
是我和朋友波丽一起创办的 I'd started with my friend, Polly.
波丽和帕波 波帕 Polly and Piper. PoPi.
我们要进驻巴尼连锁店了 We're gonna be in Barneys.
巴尼是什么 Barneys?
一家很棒的商场 It's a nice store.
这可是件大案啊 It's a pretty big case.
犯罪同谋 Criminal conspiracy.
他们就是以这个罪名起诉我的 That's what they charged me with.
我携带过一箱钱 I carried a suitcase of money.
贩毒的钱 就一次 Drug money. Once.
而且是10年前 Ten years ago.
这种罪的诉讼时效是多久 What's the statute of limitations on that?
12年 Twelve years.
那你真够倒霉的 That's tough.
我是做过 I did it,
就那么一次 that one time,
10年前 10 years ago.
你的律师怎么说 What did your lawyer say?
他说考虑到毒品犯罪的最低定罪年限 He said with the mandatory minimums with drug crimes,
他不建议我冒险选择庭审 he wouldn't recommend risking a trial.
所以我主动认罪了 So, I pleaded out.
然后你就到这儿了 And here you are.
我就到这儿来了 Here I am.
跑来消耗纳税人的钱 Costing the tax payers money
坐在我的椅子上直冒汗 and sweating in my armchair.
我在这儿干了22年 You know, i've been here for 22 years,
可我还是不明白 and I still can't figure out
国家的司法体制是怎么一回事 how the system works.
我遇到过只需服刑9个月的毒贩 I got a crack dealer who is doing nine months,
也遇到过一位女士 and then I have a lady
不小心倒车撞到了一位邮差 who accidently backed into a mailman
却要蹲4年 who is doing four years.
那家伙的锁骨被撞断了 I mean, the guy broke his collar bone,
但怎么会是这样 but come on.
我就是不明白 I just don't get it.
你是要吐吗 Are you gonna barf?
如果你要吐 就告诉我 Tell me if you're gonna barf.
因为你身后有个 垃圾桶 Because there's a can behind you.
我不会吐的 I won't barf.
如果你吐在那个桶以外的地方 I will be truly displeased
我可是会非常不高兴的 if you barf anywhere but in that can.
我不会吐的 Not gonna barf.
查普曼小姐 Miss Chapman,
这儿没人会找你麻烦的 no one's gonna mess with you here
除非你允许她们这么做 unless you let them.
这里可不像《监狱风云》里那样 This isn't OZ.
女人争斗的武器不过是八卦和谣言 Women fight with gossip and rumors.
她们可能会将你归类为有钱人 They might peg you for rich
然后试图向你讨要物品 and try to hit you up for commissary.
里面会有女同性恋 And there are lesbians.
她们不会骚扰你的 They're not gonna bother you.
她们会试着跟你做朋友 They'll try to be your friend,
你得离她们远点 just stay away from them.
我希望你明白 I want you to understand,
你不必非得接受女同间的性爱 you do not have to have lesbian sex.
我是有未婚夫的 I have a fiance.
他名叫莱瑞 他是个作家 His name is Larry. He's a writer.
他能来探视我吗 Can he come visit me?
他的名字在这里面吗 Is he in here?
是的 我的亲朋都写在里面 Yes. Everybody's in there.
服刑书上列出的所有人 All the people in the PSI
都可以来探视 are cleared to visit.
他这周末就可以过来 He can come this weekend.
我会把这张名单放进探访室的 I'll make sure the list is in the visiting room.
真的太感激你了 海利先生 Thank you so much, Mr. Healy.
你要老实点不要惹事 You just keep to yourself.
那样就会没事的 And you'll be fine.
别在里面交朋友 And don't make friends.
并且记住 And remember,
这里的一切我全都看在眼里 nothing goes on here that I don't know about.
你知道关于我的一切 You know everything about me!
我什么都告诉你了 I tell you everything!
跟人网络视频聊天的可怕经历 The webcam horror,
刮阴毛事件 the penis shaving incident.
我怎么能不知道这事呢 How do I not know this?
你要我怎么说啊 What was I supposed to say?
那就是... It was...
那是我年少时一段糊涂期 It was a phase.
我的灵魂迷失了方向 It was my lost soul,
大学毕业后的一段冒险期 postcollege adventure phase.
我真的觉得很丢脸 I was so embarrassed.
我真的 不敢相信 I can't...I can't believe
她做出这种事 that she did this.
我才不敢相信你做出这种事 I can't believe you did this.
我是说 你的真实身份到底是什么 I mean, who are you?
我感觉就像在《谍影重重》里那样 I feel like I'm in a Bourne movie.
你杀过人吗 Have you killed?
天啊 不要 Oh, Jesus. Oh, no.
宝贝 别哭了 别哭了 Baby. Stop. Stop, stop.
好了 快别哭了 Come on. Come on.
好了 Okay.
-你应该跟我分手 -什么 - You should break up with me. - What?
你并不知道会需要面对如今这一切 You didn't sign up for this.
好了 别说了 别说了 Okay, stop it. Stop it.
振作点 嘘 没事的 Come on. Shh. It's okay.
没事吗 Okay?
"证人证实 帕波·查普曼" "Witness states, Piper Chapman
曾携带贩毒资金 carried drug money.
帕波·查普曼曾是贩毒团伙的一员 "Piper Chapman was part of the ring."
你是吗 Were you?
我当时才22岁 I was 22.
我当时以为我陷入爱情了 I thought that I was in love.
我确实是陷入爱情了 I was in love.
一切都很疯狂 And it was all crazy.
然后我害怕了 And then it got scary,
然后我就抽身离开了 and I ran away,
然后我变成了我本该成为的乖巧金发女郎 and I became the nice blonde lady that I was supposed to be.
我早就知道她不是个好人 I knew that she wasn't a good person,
但是 操她妈的 but fuck her!
操她妈的 Fuck her!
这才不叫没事呢 This is not gonna be okay.
-不是 -不是 - No. - No.
的确不是 It's not.
但我们会积极应对的 好吗 But we'll deal with it, okay?
我们会想办法解决的 We'll figure it out.
你打电话联系律师了吗 Have you called a lawyer?
没有 No.
-我来打电话给我爸 -不 不要 - I'll call my dad. - No! No.
不要打电话给你爸 Please don't call your daddy.
他本来就已经讨厌我了 He already hates me.
好吧 但是我爱你 Yeah, well, I love you.
而他爱我 And, and he loves me,
所以没事的 so, here we go.
好了 我们得动作快点 All right, we gotta hustle,
一会儿要清点人数了 'cause the count's soon.
房间在这边 Uh, rooms are there.
集宿区在那边 Dorms are down there.
记住 你们不准去那边 Now, you are not allowed down there.
你们现在还没有权利过去 It's out of bounds for you guys
除非你们被分配到那里 until you get assigned there.
明白吗 You understand?
你好 琼斯 Namaste, Jones!
你们好[印度合十礼] Namaste!
她教瑜伽 你们想学可以跟着学 She teaches yoga if you ever want.
她很棒 很注重精神修养 And she's good. She's very spiritual.
好了 这边有些办公室 All right, we got some offices here.
这是餐厅 This is the dining hall,
公共休息室 辅导师办公室 common room, counselor's office.
你的辅导师是谁 Who you got for a counselor?
海利 Uh, Healy.
好吧 行吧 Okay. Yeah.
怎么了 What?
没什么 挺好的 挺好的 Nah, it's fine. It's fine.
他会做好文件工作 那是件好事 He does his paperwork. That's a good thing.
我们什么时候能领到囚服 When do we get outfits like everybody?
我不知道 或许是明天早餐后吧 I don't know. Maybe tomorrow after breakfast.
你们下去 找那位女... You go down, you speak to the lady...
搞毛啊 What the fuck?
她是你朋友吗 Friend of yours?
不 她是我妈 No. It's my mom.
好了 查普曼 迪亚茨 All right, Chapman, Diaz,
你们住在这里 this is you.
德玛克 这是查普曼 她是新来的 DeMarco, this is Chapman. She's new.
主动服刑的 你能带她熟悉一下情况吗 Selfsurrender. You show her what's what?
好的 Sure.
好的 曼多萨 这是迪亚茨 Okay, Mendoza, this is Diaz.
去吧 她会帮助你的 Go, go. She'll help you.
我不会说西班牙语 Um, I don't speak Spanish.
真"好"啊 又来一个有名无实的拉丁人 Great. Another fucking coconut.
你老娘是怎么回事啊 What's the matter with your mother,
她竟然不教你西班牙语 she don't teach you Spanish?
来 给你一些纸巾 Here. Here's some tissues.
第一夜总是很难熬的 First night's always hard.
再给你一支牙刷 And a toothbrush.
监狱是不发放的 They don't give you one.
谢谢 非常感谢 Thank you. Thank you so much.
谢谢你为我做的一切 Thank you for everything.
不用不用 没关系的 No, no. It's no problem.
我们自己人相互照顾 We look out for our own.
自己人 Our own?
别跟我谈什么政治正确性 Oh, don't get all PC on me.
只是小团体罢了 又不是种族主义 It's tribal, not racist.
回见了 I'll see you around.
再跟我说一下你的名字 Tell me your name again?
帕波 是查普曼 Piper. Chapman.
那是罗莎小姐 That's Miss Rosa.
上面这位是尼古拉斯 And that's Nichols.
一周前才面壁思过出来 Just got out of SHU a week ago.
竟然让一个教导官吃屎去 真蠢 Told a CO to kiss her ass. Dumb.
何必自找麻烦呢 是吧 Why make trouble for yourself, you know?
面壁 是关禁闭的意思吗 SHU. That's solitary?
是啊 你不会想进去受罪的 相信我 Yep. And you don't want it, honey. Trust me.
给你一些厕纸 Here's some toilet paper.
你得随身带着 You gotta take it with you.
谢谢 那是什么东西 Thanks. What's that thing?
那是我的救命机器 Oh, that's my machine.
我晚上的时候需要它 I need it at night.
我刚进来的时候 When I first got here,
出现严重的心脏病发作 I had a massive heart attack.
有人跟你说过这里的点名程序吗 Do you know about the count?
等下 你能接着说心脏病发作的事吗 Wait, can you go back to the heart attack?
我不喜欢细说那事 I don't like to dwell.
我要怎么才能打电话 How do I make a phone call?
你需要一个PAC码 You need a PAC number.
再填张表 Fill out a form.
一堆烦琐的手续 Whole rigmarole.
但或许卡普托晚些时候会允许你打电话 But maybe Caputo will let you make a call later.
你装哭会比较有用 It helps if you cry.
-别铺床 -什么 - Don't make your bed! - What?
我们会为你铺的 We'll make it for you.
不 不用了 不劳你们动手了 Oh, no, that's okay. You don't need to do that.
亲爱的 Honey!
让 我们 来 铺床 We'll make the bed.
我们轻车熟路 We know how.
我知道怎么铺床的 I know how to make a bed.
我们知道怎么铺才能通过检查 We know how to do it so we'll pass inspection.
你可以帮忙打扫房间 You can help clean.
我们要用卫生巾擦东西 We clean everything with Maxi Pads.
真的吗 Seriously?
是啊 那确实让人难以理解 Yep. It's a head scratcher,
但我们只有那玩意儿 but that's what we got.
所以我们必须早上整理好床铺 要在他们... So, we make our beds in the morning before they...
不 你必须睡在铺好的床位上 No. You sleep on top of the bed.
身上盖条毯子就行 With a blanket over you.
如果我想窝在被子里呢 What if I want to sleep in the bed?
听着 你想怎么样都行 Look, you can do what you want,
但恐怕整个监狱只有你一个人那么做 but you will be the only one in this entire prison that does.
你想那样吗 请便吧 You want that? Be my guest.
点名时间到 点名时间到 Count time! Count time!
点名时间到 女士们 Count time, ladies!
那盏灯一亮 That light comes on,
你就必须待在你该待的地方 you need to be where you're supposed to be,
在灯灭前 你不能走动 and you don't move until it goes off.
然后就是晚餐时间了 Dinner's after.
嘿 白人妞 你会说西班牙语吗 Hey, Blanca. You speak Spanish?
会一点点 Un poco.
我能听懂比较多 会说的比较少 Entiendo mas de lo que puedo hablar.
瞧见没 You see,
他妈的白人妞都会说西班牙语 fucking white girl speaks Spanish.
然后呢 So?
嘘 等一下 Shh. Wait.
晚餐时间是4:30吗 Dinner's at 4:30?
重新清点 女士们 Recount, ladies!
他们总是数错 They always screw it up.
他妈的数个人数能有多难 How hard is it to fucking count?
妮琪 这是... Nicky, this is uh...
帕波 不 是查普曼 Piper. Uh, Chapman.
瞧瞧你 金发妞 你犯了什么事 Look at you, blondie. What'd you do?
你不是不该问这个问题吗 Aren't you not supposed to ask that question?
我在书上读到 囚犯间是不能这样问的 I read that you're not supposed to ask that.
你在书上读到的 You read that?
你在进监狱前还做了详细研究吗 What, you studied for prison?
你是犯了什么事进来的 What did you do?
我听不懂你说的法语 I can't understand your French.
我的包 包 Mon bag! Bag!
我的包还没到 My bag hasn't arrived.
行李包有时候没被送上正确的航班 The bags do not make it onto the right flight sometime.
等下一班从巴黎过来的飞机吧 Wait for the next shuttle from Paris.
很可能就在那趟飞机上 It's probably on that plane.
我的包 我的包 Mon bag! My bag.
-你好 -你好 - Bonjour. - Bonjour.
欢迎来到比利时 Welcome to Belgium.
都好吗 All good?
我刚刚都开始要担心了 I was starting to worry.
-你从哪儿过来的 -从那边 - Where did you come from? - Over there.
你没过海关吗 You didn't go through customs?
没 我直接走出了那个门 No, I just walked out of that door
然后就到这儿了 and it brought me right here.
你逃过了海关吗 You skipped customs?
我靠 你真是个天才 Holy shit! It's genius.
我该返回去吗 Well, should I go back?
操 不要 我们直接去宾馆 Fuck, no. We're going to the hotel.
我要把你吃干抹净 I'm gonna eat you for dinner.
艾丽克斯 我刚刚吓死了 Alex, I was so freaked out
那个包没有被一起运过来 when the bag didn't show up,
我差点就跑路了 I almost bailed.
幸好你没有 Well, it's good thing you didn't.
那里面有超过5万块美金呢 There's over 50 grand in that bag.
库巴一定会找人杀了你的 快走吧 Kubra would have had you killed. Come on.
快走 Keep moving.
你挡着我们干活了 You're blocking up the works.
好吧 去坐那儿 Okay, go sit there.
她是个善良的白人女士 She's a nice white lady.
多谢 Thanks.
你好 Hi.
我可以坐在这里吗 It's okay if I sit here?
当然 新来的 Sure, newbie.
-我叫琼斯 -我叫查普曼 - I'm Jones. - Chapman.
你过得还好吗 查普曼 You doing okay, Chapman?
我真不知道该如何回答这个问题 I don't really know how to answer that question.
现在感觉这一切都不像真的 Everything's pretty surreal right now.
你知道曼荼罗是什么东西吗 Do you know what a mandala is?
是那种圆形的佛教艺术图案 Those are those round buddhist art things.
西藏的僧侣们用染过色的沙子 The Tibetan monks make them out of dyed sand
做成大型的 美丽的图案 laid out into big, beautiful designs.
等他们完成了 And when they're done,
历经几天或几周的工作 after days or weeks of work,
他们会把它全部擦掉 they wipe it all away.
那真是寓意颇深 That's a lot.
试着把你在这儿的经历当做曼荼罗 查普曼 Try to look at your experience here as a mandala, Chapman.
要努力地 Work hard
尽可能地让这段经历美丽且有意义 to make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can.
等你服刑的日子一结束 And when you're done,
就将这段记忆封存起来 pack it in
要知道这一切只是暂时的 and know it was all temporary.
你必须记住这一点 You have to remember that.
一切都只是暂时的 It's all temporary.
我要告诉你 I'm telling you.
要想在这里生存 Surviving here
最重要的就是你内心的想法 is all about perspective.
别吃布丁 Don't eat the pudding.
你对布丁有什么不满的想法吗 What's the perspective on the pudding?
沙漠风暴行动为美军1991年针对伊拉克的打击行动
装布丁的巨大罐子上面都标着"沙漠风暴"四个字 It comes in big cans marked "Desert Storm."
有时候厨房工作人员 Sometimes the kitchen has to
在上餐前必须刮去上层的霉菌 scrape the mold off the top before they serve it.
你好啊 Hi, there.
你好 修女[姐妹] Hi, Sister.
这是查普曼 This is Chapman.
你叫她修女 是出家人的意思吗 Sister? As in nun?
是啊 但她是个杀手修女 Yep. A killer nun.
够了你 Now, stop it.
她可不知道你是在开玩笑 She doesn't know you're joking.
她把自己绑在一个核试验地的旗杆上 She chained herself to a flagpole at a nuclear test site.
阿门 Amen.
查普曼 你是怎么进来的 So. Now, Chapman, what's your story?
我和一个毒贩混在一起了 I chained myself to a drug dealer.
帕波 你可不能寻求修女和嬉皮士的建议 Piper, you can't be taking advice from a nun and a hippie.
不管怎么样 By all means,
一定要向这位瘾君子哲学家讨教最高智慧呀 seek out the supreme wisdom of the junkie philosopher.
我为你祈祷 妮琪 I pray for you, Nicky.
我也为你祈祷 修女 I pray for you, too, Sister.
我渴求你 瑜伽琼斯 I lust after you, yoga Jones,
你那强健的臂膀 those sinewy arms.
练瑜伽的身体让人不得不爱啊 You gotta love a yoga body.
你该来参加我的课程 You should come to class.
看我做四肢撑地的姿势 Watch me chaturanga.
那个公共休息室闻着一股臭屁味 That whole common room smells like farts.
那直接驱散了我的修行之气 It kind of takes away the magic for me.
你喜欢女人蜜穴吗 帕波 You like pussy, Piper?
还是说你更喜欢男根 你的名字就是"怕波" Or you prefer pipe as your name suggests?
我感觉你身上有拉拉的气息 I'm feeling some Sapphic vibes coming off you.
别招惹她 Oh, leave her alone.
得了吧 修女 Come on, Sister.
你很清楚如果你没献身耶稣的话 You know you would've gone my way
也会变成跟我同一类人的 if you hadn't married Jesus.
谢谢 老妈 Thank you, Mommy.
谢谢 红妈 Thanks, Red.
她是你妈吗 She's your mom?
她象征着领袖般的母亲 Maternal figurehead.
我亲妈和她男友帕罗住在巴西 My actual mother lives in Brazil with her boyfriend, Paolo,
他专门破坏雨林 并收集照相写实主义艺术品 who destroys rainforests and collects photo realistic art.
她是个卖肉的 She is a cunt.
我却让她觉得丢人 I am an embarrassment.
嘿红妈 你有给我准备一盒酸奶吗 Hey, Red. You got one of those for me?
你有我想要的东西吗 You got what I asked you for?
我正在努力想办法呢 Uh, I'm working on it.
我也一样 So am I.
等我睡得安稳些 你就有甜头吃了 Treats come when I sleep better.
从木工店给我弄张床板来能有多难啊 How hard is it to get me a board from the woodshop?
靠 这些人 Ugh. People.
这是谁啊 Who's this?
这是查普曼 新来的 主动认罪服刑的 This is Chapman. She's new. Selfsurrender.
自以为很高尚 Thinks she's fancy.
给 高尚女 给你一盒酸奶 Here, fancy. Have a yogurt.
我要为此做些什么来回报 What do I have to do for it?
你是新来的 你是我们当中的一员 You're new. You're one of us.
就当是送给你的礼物吧 Consider it a gift.
谢谢 Thank you.
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
这儿的食物太恶心了 The food here is disgusting.
怎么了 What?
我有没有提到过 红妈是厨房负责人 Did I mention that Red runs the kitchen?
该死 我很抱歉 Shit. I'm sorry.
亲爱的 Honey.
我知道你是新来的 I know you just got here,
所以你不清楚这里的情况 so you don't know what's what.
我想告诉你 Well, I'm gonna tell you.
你不喜欢这里的食物是吗 You don't like the food?
没问题的 It's no problem.
我靠 Holy shit.
你刚刚真是闯了大祸了 That was an epic fuckup.
你有何贵干 Can I help you?
我叫查普曼 Um, I'm Chapman.
我是今天才来的 I'm new today.
他们说我该找你谈谈 They told me I should talk to you.
我没有PAC码 I don't have a PAC number.
他们是谁 Who's they?
卡普托先生 Mr. Caputo,
求你让我给我未婚夫打个电话 please let me call my fiance.
我必须让他知道我没事 I have to let him know I'm okay.
两分钟 你只有两分钟 仅此而已 Two minutes. You got two minutes, that's it.
把门关上 Close the door,
我可不希望大家都涌进我办公室打电话 I don't want a run on my office.
拨9连接外线 Dial nine to get out.
-喂 莱瑞的手机 -艾米 - Hello, Larry's phone. - Amy?
帕波 Piper?
把电话给我 Give me the phone.
稍等一下 能让我打个招呼吗 One second. Can I say hello?
艾米 我只有两分钟的通话时间 Amy, I only have two minutes to talk.
你还好吧 Are you okay?
里面是什么情况 What's it like in there?
霍华德和我带中餐过来了 Howard and I brought Chinese.
莱瑞真的很忧心 Larry is so upset.
-妈 -让他说话 艾米 - Mom. - Let him talk, Amy.
妈 快把电话给我 Ma, give me the phone.
艾米 求你让我跟莱瑞说话 Amy, please let me talk to Larry.
我读到过 玛莎·斯图尔特在监狱里时 You know, I read that when Martha Stewart was in prison,
美国家政女王 曾入狱并建议狱中大厨开发新菜
她到处搜寻蒲公英 she foraged for dandelions.
好了 妈 快给我 Okay, Mom, please.
我还在说话呢 I was talking!
艾米 并非所有事都以你为中心 亲爱的 Amy, it's not always about you, dear.
你这话是什么意思 What is that supposed to mean?
-帕波 -我只剩一分钟的时间了 - Piper? - I only have a minute now.
我是从守卫的办公室给你打电话的 I'm calling from the guard's office.
你还好吗 出什么事了 Hey, are you okay? What's going on?
我真的好爱你 I love you so much.
我也爱你 你还好吗 I love you, too. Are you okay?
我穿着老年人那种宽松内裤 I'm wearing granny panties
而且我只跟白人说过话 and I've only spoken to white people.
你这是要加入雅利安白人帮吗 You joining the Aryan Nation?
我不知道 I don't know.
但这儿有个修女 But there's a nun here.
而且你不能窝在被子里 And you're not allowed to sleep in your bed.
只能睡在被子上面 Only on top of it.
那很古怪 That's weird.
我也觉得 是吧 I know, right?
我刚进来时 And when I got here,
她们发给我那种酒店用的小香皂块 they gave me these little bars of hotel soap,
竟然没有香波 but no shampoo.
但我觉得我可以向其他白人借一些 But I think that I can borrow some from other white people.
我好爱你 I love you so much.
我的其中一个室友 One of my roommates
刚来时曾经有过一次严重的心脏病发作 had a massive heart attack when she got here.
听着 你可不能心脏病发啊 Okay, you are not allowed to have a heart attack.
你晚餐吃的是什么 What did you have for dinner?
我爸妈从皇宫餐厅买来的中餐 My folks brought from The Palace.
皇宫餐厅 Oh. The Palace.
这里的晚餐是吓死人的肝脏 Dinner here was scary liver.
而且我侮辱了主厨 And I insulted the chef,
而且 这里的布丁是不能吃的 and you're not supposed to eat the pudding
因为都是沙漠风暴行动时的物资 because it's been to Desert Storm.
帕波 听我说 Piper, listen to me.
你可千万不能泄气 好吗 You cannot lose your shit, okay?
我说真的 求你 必须告诉我 I mean it. Please, please tell me
你现在很振作 you're keeping it together.
求你告诉我你没事 Please, please tell me you're okay.
快挂掉 查普曼 Wrap it up, Chapman.
我在这儿的名字叫查普曼 I'm-I'm Chapman here.
对我来说你还是小帕 好吗 You're my Pipes, okay?
我爱你 And, uh, I love you,
这一切都只是暂时的 and this is only temporary.
瑜伽琼斯也这么说 That's what Yoga Jones said.
但我才到这里一天 But it's just been one day.
我做不到 我真的做不到 And I can't, I can't!
帕波 你可以的 你完全可以的 好吗 Piper, you can. You so can, okay?
你是那么的坚强 宝贝 你... You are so strong, babe. You...
而且你喜欢冒险 不是吗 And you love adventure, right?
你就是因为爱冒险才进监狱的 That's what got you in there,
这种冒险精神也会支撑你到出狱 and that's what's gonna get you through.
这一切就像是场冒险旅程 This is all just a big adventure
只不过有肝脏和瑜伽琼斯相伴 with liver and Yoga Jones,
以及种族歧视 and racism.
你可以周五过来看我 You can come on Friday.
求你周五一定要过来 Please come on Friday.
让我妈周六过来 Tell my mother to come on Saturday,
别告诉她你会周五过来 明白吗 and don't tell her that you're coming on Friday, okay?
当然了 好吗 Of course. Okay?
睡两晚 就到了 Two sleeps. That's it.
在你的床上睡两晚 Two sleeps on top of your bed.
然后 我就来了 And then, I will be there.
接下来快要熄灯了 Coming up on lights out.
说再见吧 Say goodbye.
我得挂了 I have to go.
嘿 别哭 Hey, no crying.
我没哭 I'm not crying.
帕波 我爱你 周五见 Piper, I love you. I will see you on Friday.
请你一定要勇敢些 Please, be brave.
别让任何人扒掉你的老人裤上了你 Don't let anyone into your granny panties.
-我爱你 -我爱你 - I love you. - I love you.
你的资料还没到我这里 Your head's not here yet.
别担心 会递交过来的 Don't worry, it'll catch up.
与此同时 In the meantime,
多补充些睡眠 try to get some sleep.
新囚训练定在明早9点 Orientation is tomorrow at 9:00.
这是给你的香波 Shampoo for you.
我觉得你该说一声 谢谢 I think the words you're looking for are, "Thank you."
谢谢 Thank you.
晚安 查普曼 Good night, Chapman.
顺手把门带上 Close the door behind you.
-查普曼 查普曼 -怎么了 - Chapman. Hey, Chapman. - What?
-太阳晒屁股了 -什么 怎么了 - Rise and shine. - What? What?
你想要有时间洗澡和吃饭 You want time to shower and eat,
现在就该起床了 you gotta get up.
瞧瞧你的眼睛 Aw, look at your eyes.
你该用冷水敷一敷 You should put some cold water on them.
好吧 谢谢 Okay. Thanks.
好好洗个澡 穿上干净衣服 Take a nice shower, get dressed,
你很快就会觉得正常并习惯的 you'll start to feel normal soon enough.
-你有拖鞋吗 -没有 - You got flipflops? - No.
亲爱的 Oh, honey.
浴室里有很多恶心的真菌 There's wicked fungus in the showers.
你简直要把我逼疯了 You're driving me crazy!
每个人早餐都可以得到一块水果 Everyone gets a piece of fruit at breakfast.
我告诉你 I'm telling you,
你很快就会习惯的 真的 it'll all start to feel normal, soon. Really.
你饿吗 You hungry?
我饿死了 不好意思 I'm starving. Excuse me.
-头发可真漂亮 -谢谢夸赞 - Such pretty hair. - Thank you.
等你那些发根重新长出新发 When those roots start to show,
一定要来找我 好吗 be sure to come and see me, okay?
我会替你好好打理的 I'll take good care of you.
不过即使你不来找我 But even if you don't come to me,
也千万别去找丹妮塔 don't go to Danita.
她会把你的头发都烧焦的 快走 She'll burn the shit out of your scalp. Go.
队伍在移动呢 Line's moving.
等下 查普曼 你是查普曼吗 Wait, Chapman? Are you Chapman?
是的 Yes.
红妈给你准备了一份特别的早餐 Red says she made that special for you.
谢谢 Thanks.
告诉她我说谢谢了 Tell her I said thanks.
我什么都不会说的 I don't say nothing.
我只是做好自己的工作罢了 下一个 I'm just working. Next.
天 我告诉你们 Man, I'm telling you,
在我的牙齿被敲掉之前 before my teeth got knocked out,
我曾有一条性感的牙缝 I had this awesome gap.
现在看上去跟芝兰口香糖一样 看 Now they look like Chiclets, look.
你真是疯了 You're crazy.
你的假牙很美啊 Your fake teeth are beautiful.
而且永远不会有食物残渣卡在里面 Bet you never get the food stuck in them.
所以你永远都是口气清新的 So, you got the nice fresh breath all the time.
充满薄荷味 又很美 It's minty. It's beautiful.
每天都像是新生儿般的完美牙齿 It's like God put them in you every day.
犹如一阵夏日清风 A summer breeze coming over here.
你做了什么啊 What did you do?
她当着红妈的面说食物很难吃 She insulted the food in front of Red.
天啊 我觉得你得有段时间吃不上饭了 Oh, jeez. I don't think you're gonna be eating for a while.
天啊 快盖起来 Oh! Put it away.
我好不容易才绝经呢 可不想再看到 谢谢 I'm enjoying menopause very much, thank you.
你得想个办法跟红妈处理好关系 You gotta figure out how to make things right with Red.
是啊 是啊 And yeah, yeah.
你还得去一下洗衣房 You gotta go down to laundry.
可别忘了 Don't forget that.
然后检查一下裤子上的松紧带 And check the elastic on all the pants.
别让他们给你的是松垮垮的垃圾货 Don't let them get you stretched out garbage.
新囚训练10分钟后开始 Orientation starts in 10 minutes.
至少你今早享受了一次愉快的沐浴体验 对吧 At least you had a nice shower this morning, right?
我好像在里面看见你了 I think I saw you in there?
我 我 I'm...I...
我不... I don't...
我不知道 先失陪了 I don't know. Excuse me.
别忘了 你得把餐盘送回去 Don't forget, you gotta bus your tray.
她拿着那餐盘是要去哪儿 Where's she going with that tray?
那是不能带出餐厅的 Can't take them out of here.
她会想办法搞定的 Yeah, she'll figure it out.
她今早真去浴室了吗 Was she really in the shower this morning?
或许现在不是打招呼的好时候 对吧 Maybe this is a bad time to say hi, huh? �� 我看到了光 Praise the Lord, I saw the light.
唱啊 Sing it.
像个盲人 一路徘徊 Just like a blind man, I wandered along.
一路担忧 一路害怕 一路责备我自己 Worries and fears, I claimed for my own.
也像盲人 上帝让他恢复光明 Then like the blind man that God gave back his sight.
感谢上苍 我看到了光 Praise the Lord, I saw the light.
好 Ooh, yeah! Whoo!
我看到了光 我看到了光 I saw the light, I saw the light.
你应该到中间去 You should be in the center!
到中间去 诺尔玛 You should be in the center, Norma.
没有黑暗 没有夜晚 No more darkness, no more night.
此刻我的眼里 满是欢乐 没有悲伤 Now I'm so happy, no sorrow in sight.
感谢上苍 我看到了光 Praise the Lord , I saw the light.
感谢上苍 我看到了光 Praise the Lord, I saw the light.
我看到了光 我看到了光 I saw the light, I saw the light.
没有黑暗 没有夜晚 No more darkness, no more night.
你去哪 Hey. Hey! Where do you think you're goin'?
不是吧 Oh, no. Oh, no.
小疯子 你不想现在跟我打一架吧 You do not want to fight with me right now, crazy.
你不想吧 You do not.
不想吗 也许你说得对 Oh, no? Maybe you're right.
我不想跟你打架 I don't want to fight you.
我就想要你的命 I want to end you right now.
你最好收手 You better stop.
海利先生在那 Mr. Healy is right over there.
你好 海利先生 Hi, Mr. Healy.
海利先生 海利先生 海利先生 Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy! Mr. Healy!
她要杀了我 She's trying to kill me!
瞧瞧你拿什么来玩 Ho-ho! Look what you brought out to play.
你最好给我滚回去 You back the fuck off me.
你觉得我会怕你吗 You think I'm scared of you?
是吗 Do you?
我不怕你 因为上帝站我这边 I'm not scared of you 'cause I got God by my side.
他跟我说你不值一文 知道了吗 He told me that you ain't worth nothin'! See?
瞧瞧他怎么帮我的 See how he just works through me?
他要我灭了你 And he wants me to smite you!
我看得到 I see things.
她是恶魔 Hm, she-devil.
你就是恶魔 That's what you are.
你是恶魔 我是上帝的天使 You're the devil, and I'm the angel of God.
瞧瞧我这一身 I mean, look at my dress!
你见过吗 Have you seen it?
赋诗一首怎么样 How's that for poetry?
上帝爱我 Hm? 'Cause God loves me.
他不爱你 因为你不值得上帝爱戴 He don't love you 'cause you ain't worthy of God's love.
你不值得任何人爱 You ain't worthy of nobody's love.
是时候 So I think it's time...
灭了你了 that you die.
不要 No! lieve in science, I believe in evolution.
我相信内特·希尔 I believe in Nate Silver
[三人分别为统计学家 天文学家 无神论作家]
还有尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森和克里斯托弗·希钦斯 and Neil deGrasse Tyson and Christopher Hitchens,
虽然我确实承认他本人有点混蛋 although I do admit, he could be kind of an asshole.
我无法支持那位当有百万民众 I cannot get behind some supreme being
在遭受屠杀之时 who weighs in on the Tony Awards
却在权衡托尼奖得主的万能之主 while a million people get wacked with machetes.
我不相信有十亿印度人要下地狱 I don't believe a billion Indians are going to hell,
我不认为我们得癌症是为了学习生活的真谛 I don't think we get cancer to learn life lessons,
我不相信人们英年早逝 and I don't believe that people die young
是因为上帝需要另一个天使 because God needs another angel.
我觉得这只是一派胡言 I think it's just bullshit,
在某种程度上 我认为我们都清楚这点 and on some level, I think we all know that.
不是吗 I mean, don't you?
天使这事确实有点让人无奈 The angel thing does seem kind of desperate.
我还以为你是基督徒呢 I thought you was a Christian.
我是 但我有自己的疑虑 I am, but I got some questions.
我明白信仰能让我们更轻松地处理 Look, I understand that religion makes it easier
那些随机发生在我们身上的狗屁事情 to deal with all of the random shitty things that happen to us.
我希望自己也能有所信仰 And I wish I could get on that ride,
那样我肯定会更快乐 I'm sure I would be happier.
但是我做不到 But I can't.
光有感觉还不够 我需要它是真实的 Feelings aren't enough. I need it to be real.
我得走了 I gotta go.
我想跟你化敌为友 I tried to be your friend.
我希望他能让你幸福 I hope he makes you very happy.
借过 Excuse me.
喂 Hello?
我找娜塔莉·菲格罗亚 I'm looking for Natalie Figueroa.
我就是 You found her.
菲格罗亚女士 我是安德鲁·南斯 Ms. Figueroa, this is Andrew Nance
从《城市邮报》网络版打来的 calling from The City Post, online edition.
我最近通过公共电台采访了莱瑞·布鲁姆 I recently caught a public radio interview with Larry Bloom.
他与名叫帕波·查普曼的利奇菲尔德囚犯订了婚 He's engaged to a Litchfield inmate named Piper Chapman?
抱歉 我从没听说过这个人 I'm sorry, I've never heard of this person.
在采访中 Oh. Well in his interview,
布鲁姆先生提到今年利奇菲尔德在削减开支 Mr. Bloom mentioned some cutbacks at Litchfield this year.
比如关闭跑道 The closing of the track, for instance,
取消一般教育发展项目 the GED program shutting down,
专利药物换做非专利药物等等 medications switched to generics, those kinds of things.
所有这些改变似乎都是出于预算考虑 All of which seem to have been attributed to budgetary considerations?
我们会充分利用手头资源 Well, we do the best with what we've got,
但显然总有条底线需要考虑 but there's always a bottom line to consider, obviously.
我能理解 I understand that, obviously.
但我深入调查了纽约市的预算分配 But, I did some digging into the budget allocation for New York
事实上利奇菲尔德的经费在过去五年 and as it turns out, Litchfield actually got an increase
提高了230万美元 over the last five years of $2.3 million.
所以我就好奇这些经费都到哪里去了 So, what I'm wondering is, where did all that money go?
我要查一下 I'll have to look into that.
据我了解 As I understand it,
您负责监狱的日常运营 you're in charge of day-to-day operations at the prison...
我说了我要查一下 I said I'd look into it.
很高兴你能来 I'm really glad that you're here.
听我说 Listen,
我们当时都没想到事态会这么失控 neither of us understood how crazy this was gonna be.
我们只是想可以等你出狱再结婚 We thought, "Sure, we'll get married after."
以为我们可以继续以前的生活 Like, we were just gonna pick up where we left off.
但是帕波 监狱生活改变了你 也改变了我 But, Piper, this, this is changing you, it's changing me.
你当时也不希望会这样 You didn't ask for any of this.
对 但我们已然如此 No. But we're here.
这种生活凌乱而诡异 It's messy and weird
我们都会做愚蠢 寂寞 尴尬的烂事 and we're gonna do stupid and lonely and embarrassing shit.
要么我们携手共同经历 And either we can do it together,
现在就在这个房间里结婚 get married, now, in this room, possibly,
只要我们能提交文书 as soon as we can file the paperwork,
以夫妻身份一起生活 and do it as husband and wife or...
要么我们就得分手 Or we have to break up.
因为我们现在这种进退维谷的状态 Because this thing that we're doing now, this in-between?
我做不到 I can't.
所以 So,
你怎么说 what do you say?
你们知道我要怎么做 You know what I got to do.
她对我不尊重 She disrespected me.
现在 Now,
我必须要杀了她 I'm gonna have to kill her.