本字幕由落雨秋枫制作
（南极洲 美国220号研究站） US Outpost Fab220 Antarctica
# 当你看到飞碟时，请向上帝祈祷 # You'd better pray to the Lord When you see those flying saucers
# 也许是审判日到了 # It may be the coming of the Judgment Day
嘿，杰瑞，过来看一下 帕洛马山天文台刚发现了这个 Hey, Jerry, you might wanna check this one out. Palomarjust picked it up.
看上去像某种 UFO，沿着这边行进 Looks like some type of UFO, and it's heading this way.
跟你说过多少次了？ How many times do I have to tell you?
UFO 不存在，我们绝不会看到... UFOs don't exist and we're never gonna see...
- 哇哦，它的能量特征非常明显 - 天呐！我们该怎么办？！ - Wow, its energy signature is massive. - Holy Oheez-lts! What do we do?!
没人告诉过我们该怎么办！ No one told us what to do!
正因为这差事很闲 我才找了这份工作！ I took this job because you never have to do anything!
杰瑞，住嘴 我来计算下它的撞击点 Jerry, stop it. Let me calculate its impact point.
似乎是... Looks like...
...加州的莫德斯托 ...Modesto, Oalifornia.
超新星，这是红矮星 我们确实发现了一个！ Supernova, this is Red Dwarf. We actually have one!
外星人警报！重复，外星人警报！ Oode Nimoy! I repeat, Oode Nimoy!
片名 怪物大战外星人 Monsters VS Aliens
大家伙在这干嘛？才凌晨5点 What are you guys doing here? It's 5:00 in the morning.
快点，打开电视！快啊！ Hurry, turn on the TV! Turn it on now!
...会有晨雾，白天晴天 ...and some early morning fog, giving way to sunny skies.
华氏75度 Seventy-five degrees.
真是个好天气啊 可以去市场上遛遛古民间艺术展 A perfect day to stop by the old folk art and craft show
或是和苏珊·墨菲结婚 down at the fairgrounds, or a perfect day to marry Susan Murphy.
我爱你，宝贝 I love you, baby.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
早安啦，莫德斯托！ And good morning, Modesto!
172频道 Ohannel 172.
你太漂亮了，甜心 You look gorgeous, sweetheart.
谢谢，妈妈 Thanks, Mom.
我的乖女儿！ My little girl!
爸爸！ Daddy!
你得明白，即使我把你嫁出去了... Now, I want you to know that, even though I'm about to give you away...
...我仍会一直关心你 ...I will always be here to take care of you.
别哭了，你弄得我也想哭了 那样就不好看了 Don't cry because then you'll make me cry, and that's just gonna be a mess.
我忍不住！ I can't help it!
各位好！注意，注意！ Hello, everyone! Attention, attention!
婚礼将在30分钟后开始 Wedding starts in 30 minutes!
- 我美丽的儿媳妇！ - 嗨，迪特尔妈妈 - My beautiful daughter-in-law! - Hi, Mama Dietl.
真像是童话故事，气象员和他的妻子 It's like a fairy tale. The Weatherman and the Weatherman's Wife.
好浪漫 Romantic.
是啊，想想，明天这时候 我就在巴黎了！ I know. Just think, this time tomorrow, I'm gonna be in Paris!
而且总有一天 我们不止去那度蜜月 And someday, we won't just be honeymooning there.
德里克会成为一个主播 或是一个驻外记者 Derek will become an anchor or a foreign correspondent.
- 然后我们会周游世界 - 宝贝，祝你美梦成真 - And we'll travel all over the world. - Honey, my fingers are crossed.
一个大拇指长，一个大拇指短 是遗传的 One thumb is shorter than the other. Runs in the family.
德里克不这样啊 Derek doesn't have that.
是隔代遗传 你的小孩也会这样！ It skips a generation. Your kids are gonna have it!
哇哦，你好漂亮 Wow, you look beautiful.
你也是，我是说，你很帅 So do you. I mean, handsome.
我的意思是...抱歉，我有点累 I mean... Sorry. I'm just a little frazzled.
和父母呆太长时间了 I just spent way too much time with our parents.
别担心，好吗？ 马上就能独处了，就我们俩 Don't worry, OK? We'll be alone soon, just us.
在塞纳河畔品尝奶酪和面包 Eating cheese and baguettes by the Seine,
相互喂食巧克力薄饼 feeding each other chocolate crepes.
- 有问题吗？ - 没，没有！只是，呃... - Is something wrong? - No, no! It's just that, well...
计划有变 There's been a slight change of plans.
我们不去巴黎了 We're not going to Paris.
- 什么？为什么不去？ - 因为我们要去更好的地方 - What? Why not? - Because we're going somewhere better.
- 比巴黎还好？ - 没错 - Better than Paris? - Oh, yeah.
哪里？塔希提岛？！ （南太平洋的法属波利尼西亚旅游胜地） Where? Tahiti?!
不是！弗雷斯诺！ （美国加利福尼亚州中部城市） Nope! Fresno!
弗雷斯诺！ Fresno!
弗雷斯诺 Fresno.
弗雷斯诺究竟哪里比巴黎好了 德里克？ In what universe is Fresno better than Paris, Derek?
好就好在... In the "I've got an audition to become
我在那里获得了第23频道 晚间节目新主播的试镜机会 Ohannel 23's new evening anchor" universe.
我接到了对方总经理的电话 让我立刻赶过去！ Got the call from the general manager, he wants me to come in immediately!
- 很棒吧？ - 德里克 - Isn't that great? - Derek!
这... That's...
...太令人吃惊了！真是不可思议 ...amazing! It's amazing.
弗雷斯诺是五十大城之一，对吧？ Fresno's a top 50 market, isn't it?
是第五十五大城 不过我们就要去了，宝贝！ It's 55th, but we're on our way, babe!
听着，那巴黎... Now, look. About Paris...
没事，没关系的！只要我们在一起 It's OK. It's fine! As long as we're together,
弗雷斯诺就是全世界最浪漫的地方 Fresno is the most romantic city in the whole world.
- 我为你骄傲 - 是为我俩！不仅仅是为我 - I'm so proud of you. - Of us! Notjust of me.
我是说，的确是我，但我们现在 是一对，你该为我俩而骄傲 I mean, of course, but we're a team now. You're so proud of us.
现在你该出去了 看我穿衣服可不吉利 Now, get out of here. It's bad luck to see me in my dress.
拜托，我才不信那一套 Oome on. You know I don't believe in that stuff.
我会在圣坛等你... 我这个英俊潇洒的新闻主播 I'll be waiting for you at the altar... the handsome news anchor in the tux.
我爱你！好了，我说了 Love you! There, I said it.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
苏珊！ Susan!
她会去哪呢？ Where could she be?
苏珊！你在哪？！ Susan! Where are you?!
苏珊！你去哪了？！ Susan! Where have you been?!
我好像被陨石击中了 I think I just got hit by a meteorite.
哦，苏珊，每个新娘在结婚那天 都会有这种感觉 Oh, Susan. Every bride feels that way on her wedding day.
天啊，看看你，全身脏兮兮的 幸亏我有湿巾 My goodness, look at you. You're filthy. Thank God I have Wet Ones.
哇 Wow.
你在发光 You're glowing.
谢谢 Thank you.
不，不，苏珊，你好像 真的在发光，是绿光！ No. No, Susan, you're, like, really glowing. You're green!
哦，不！ Oh, no!
德里克！ Derek!
哦，我的天！ Oh, my gosh!
怎么回事？！ What's going on?!
- 发生了什么事？！ - 你们都在变小！ - What's happening?! - You're all shrinking!
啊啊！你在变大！ Uh-uh! You're growing!
- 让它停下来！ - 给我接政府！ - Well, make it stop! - Get me the government!
那不可能！ This is impossible!
不，不可能发生的 No, this can't be happening.
等等，等等，各位，没事的！ Wait, wait. Everybody, it's OK!
我们会搞清楚事情的 请大家先品尝香槟！ Have some champagne while we're figuring this out!
大拇指！大拇指！ Thumbs! Thumbs!
德里克！救救我！ Derek! Help me!
上帝啊！ Sweet Lord!
- 新娘来了！ - 哦，卡尔！今天是她的结婚日！ - Here comes the bride! - Oh, Oarl! It's her wedding day!
德里克？德里克？ Derek? Derek?
横梁砸伤德里克了 Beam hurt Derek.
- 苏珊？ - 谢天谢地你没事 - Susan? - Thank goodness you're OK!
我怎么了？ What's happening to me?
别慌！不用担心！ 无论你要干什么，别丢下... Don't panic! Don't worry! Whatever you do, don't drop...
- 德里克！ - 抱歉，先生 - Derek! - Sorry, sir.
你们是谁？你们干什么？ Who are you people? What are you doing?
住手！小心！ Stop it! Be careful!
放开我！知道我是谁吗？！ Get your hands off me! Don't you know who I am?!
拜托，放开我！ Please, just leave me alone!
小心那些电缆！她倒下来了！ Watch those cables! She's coming down!
小心！ Watch out!
上，上！大家上！ Move it, move it! Let's go! Move it, move it!
拉，拉！ Pull, pull!
德里克？ Derek?
好了，把这宝贝放到车上去 All right, let's get this baby on the bus.
亲爱的，你能按掉闹钟吗？ Honey, could you hit the snooze?
宝贝，为什么要设闹钟呢？ 我们在度蜜月呢 Baby, why did you set the alarm? We're on our honeymoon.
你好？ Hello?
怎么回事？ What's going on?
有人吗？ Hello?
它是双脚吗？ 他们刚抓回来的是双脚吗？ Is itjust legs? Did they capture a giant pair of legs?
安静，鲍勃！她会听见的！ Silence, B.O. B! She'll hear us!
- 怎么会？脚没有耳朵 - 闭嘴！ - How? Legs don't have ears. - Just shush!
你好？ Hello?
这有人吗？ Is there someone there?
你们能告诉我这是哪吗？ Oould you tell me where I am?
你好？那是什么？ Hello? What was that?
你好 Hello.
请你住手！小心！ Will you stop?! Oareful!
拜托，小姐！ Please, madam!
快...住...手！ Stop! Doing! That!
不管是哪个疯子科学家制造了你 Whatever mad scientist made you,
他一定是尽了全力 he really went all out.
你能说话 You can talk.
你好啊！ Hi, there!
我的背！ My back!
开玩笑的！我没有背！ Just kidding! I don't have a back!
请原谅他，你也看到了 他没有大脑 Forgive him, but as you can see, he has no brain.
事实上你根本不需要 大脑被完全高估了！ Turns out you don't need one. Totally overrated!
其实，我甚至不... As a matter of fact, I don't even...
我忘了怎么喘气！ 我不知道该如何喘气！ I forgot how to breathe! Don't know how to breathe!
帮帮我，蟑螂博士！帮帮我！ Help me, Dr. Oockroach! Help!
吸气，鲍勃 Suck in, B.O.B.
谢谢，博士，你真是救星 Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.
哇，看看你，我知道你在想什么 Wow, look at you. I know what you're thinking.
蹲监狱的第一天 你要把操场上最壮的人打败 First day in prison, you want to take down the toughest guy in the yard.
好吧，我想看看你怎么做 Well, I'd like to see you try.
忍者！ Ninja!
- 天，看看，她说不出话了 - 她？ - Gosh. Look, she's speechless. - She?
是啊，鲍勃！我们正看到的 是一位稀有的女性怪物 Yes, B.O. B! We are in the presence of the rare female monster.
不可能！它是男的，看他的胸 No way! It's a boy. Look at his boobies.
我们得谈谈 We need to have a talk.
先生们，恐怕我们给她 留下的第一印象不怎么样 Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are not making a very good first impression.
我说的就这意思 At least I'm talking.
这么多年才来一个怪物 不能来个狼人或木乃伊吗？ First new monster in years, we couldn't get a wolf man or a mummy?
就是，我说，能一起玩牌的人 Just, you know, somebody to play cards with.
能告诉我们你叫什么吗，女士？ Might we ask your name, madam?
苏珊 Susan.
不不不，我们想知道你的怪物名字 No, no, no. We mean your monster name.
就像，人们看到你的时候尖叫的名字 Like, what do people scream when they see you coming?
你知道，就像这样 “当心！这是怪物...” You know, like, "Look out! Here comes!"
苏珊 Susan.
真的？ Really?
苏珊！ Susan!
我刚吓着自己了，是挺吓人 I just scared myself. That is scary.
好！开饭了 Yes! Eat times.
真恶心！ That is repulsive!
一只老拖鞋！ An old slipper!
拜托，上帝，告诉我这不是真的 Oh, please, God, tell me this isn't real.
求求你告诉我我只是在婚礼上 精神失常了，而我现在... Please tell me I had a nervous breakdown at the wedding, and now I'm
正在一所精神病院里 吃了给我这些幻觉的药 in a mental hospital on medication that's giving me hallucinations.
别吓着虫虫怪了 Don't scare Insectosaurus!
他会尿在自己身上的 那样我们都会有麻烦 He's gonna pee himself, then we'll all be in trouble.
每间房都有门！ 这里应该有扇门，它在哪儿？ Every room has a door! There's gotta be a door here!
没事的，伙计，别担心 It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it.
谁是只帅帅的虫虫，嗯？ 你喜欢我摸你肚子吗？ Who's a handsome bug, huh? You like it when I rub your tummy?
拜托！来人！我不属于这里！ Please! Somebody! I don't belong here!
- 放我出去！ - 嘿，这不是个好主意 - Let me out! - Hey, that is not a good idea.
放我出去！ Let me out!
怪物们，请回到你们的房间 Monsters, get back in your cells.
哦，谢天谢地，一个人类 你是真正的人类，对吗？ Oh, thank goodness. A real person. You are a real person, right?
不是那些半人...半机器... Not one of those half-person, half-machine,
你知道的，不管你们怎样称呼它们 you know, whatever you call those things.
- 半机械人？ - 哦，不！你是半机械人？！ - A cyborg? - Oh, no! You're a cyborg?!
女士，我向你保证，我不是半机械人 我是 W·R·蒙哥将军 Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg. The name is General W.R. Monger.
这所设施由我监管 好了，跟我来 I'm in charge of this facility. Now, follow me.
是时候带你参观一下了 It is time for your orientation.
在1950年，我们确定 普通老百姓无法接受... In 1950, it was decided that Jane and Joe Public could not handle the truth
...怪物存在的事实 并且应该专注在类似纳税的重要事情上 about monsters, and should focus on more important things, like paying taxes.
所以政府说服了全世界... So the government convinced the world
...让怪物停留在神话和传说之中 然后把它们都锁在了这所设施里 monsters were stuff of myth and legend and then locked them in this facility.
但我不是怪物呀！ 我只是一个普通人 But I'm not a monster! I'm just a regular person.
我对任何人或任何事物来说都不危险 I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.
别让她碰我！ Don't let her get me!
抱歉 Sorry.
- 我会在这里呆多久？ - 未知数 - How long will I be here? - Indefinitely.
- 我能联系我的家人吗？ - 不能 - Oan I contact my parents? - No.
- 德里克呢？ - 否决 - Derek? - Negative.
- 他们知道我在哪儿吗？ - 不，而且永远不会知道 - Do they know where I am? - No, and they never will!
这地方是绝密的 This place is an X file,
被完全地掩饰着 被深深地打上妄想狂的阴谋的烙印 wrapped in a cover-up and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.
与外界完全没有接触 There will be zero contact with the outside world.
...7，8... ...seven, eight...
...999... ...999...
...1000 ...1,000.
不敢相信我举完了10轮 I can't believe I did ten sets.
苏珊！ Susan!
你身上不会凑巧有铀吧？ You wouldn't happen to have any uranium on you?
我只需要一丁点 I just need a smidge.
立即废除蟑螂博士持有玩具盒的权力 Rescind Dr. Oockroach's toy box privileges immediately.
我们让监狱心理学家 重新装修了你的房间 We had the prison psychologist redecorate your cell.
（海报 坚持住） 尽量让你保持平静 Try to keep you all calm-like.
但是我不想要海报 But I don't want a poster.
我想要只挂在真的树上的真猫咪 I want a real kitten hanging from a real tree.
我想回家 I want to go home.
别这样，小姑娘，好吗 别哭，那会让我的关节炎犯病 Oome on, little Debbie, please don't cry. It makes my knees hurt.
别把这里当成牢房 Don't think of this as a prison.
就把这当成一家从外面上锁 而你永远无法离开的旅馆吧 Think of it as a hotel you never leave because it's locked from the outside!
还有一件事 Oh, and one other thing.
政府已经把你的名字改为“女巨人”了 The government has changed your name to Ginormica.
启动唤醒程序 Begin reanimation sequence.
谁胆敢叫醒我？ Who dares to wake me?
量子核位置已被确定位于 欧米加象限中一颗遥远的行星上 Quantonium has been located on a distant planet in the Omega Quadrant.
欧米加象限？详情 The Omega Quadrant? Lame.
量子核形成的... The trajectory of the Quantonium meteor
...陨星轨迹已被追踪至72-4区 has been traced to sector 72-4,
到了一个当地称之为“地球”的行星 the planet locally known as Earth.
多可悲的一颗泥丸子啊 What a miserable-looking mud ball.
送出探测机器人 Send a robot probe!
用尽一切手段把量子核榨干 Extract the Quantonium with extreme prejudice.
我要全部 I want it all.
一滴也不放过 Every last drop!
遵命，银河煞星 Yes, Gallaxhar.
现在没有什么可以阻止我了 Nothing can stand in my way now.
别催我，凯蒂！我还没准备好 Don't rush me, Katie! I'm just not ready.
放松，库斯伯特 其实这就像跳舞，我来领舞 Relax, Outhbert. It's just like dancing. I'll lead.
凯蒂，我明天有场体操比赛 所以或许... Katie, I have a gymnastics meet tomorrow. So maybe...
是你打开车篷的么？ Did you open the top?
谢天谢地，是警察 Thank goodness. It's the police.
- 我们什么也没干，长官！ - 是啊，什么也没干 - We weren't doing anything, officer! - Yeah, nothing at all.
老天啊！ Jiminy!
我怎么会让你说服来这里遇上这麻烦？！ 或许我们该离开这里了 Why did I even let you talk me into this?! Maybe we should get out of here.
- 或者，也许，我们应该去看看 - 凯蒂，你疯了吗？！ - Or, maybe, we should go check it out. - Katie, are you nuts?!
等等！别扔下我！ Wait! Don't leave me alone!
不！我的脚脖子！ No! My ankle!
我猜它断了！ I think it's broken!
凯蒂？ Katie?
这真是最差劲的约会 This is the worst date ever.
凯蒂，我害怕 Katie, I'm frightened.
它是在昨晚的午夜时分 由一对沉浸在浪漫中的情侣发现的 It was first spotted at midnight last night by a couple in romantic embrace.
没人知道它到底是什么，从哪里来 No one knows what it is or where it came from.
所有的军事部门立刻被动员了 All branches of the military were immediately mobilized.
什么事，亨什沃？ What is that, Henshaw?
好的 OK.
我刚收到消息 称美利坚合众国的总统... I have just received word that the president of the United States
...已经抵达现场 并将会进行第一次接触 has arrived and will attempt to make first contact.
我必须自己过去 I must approach it alone.
这全是为了和平的对话 This is all about peaceful communication.
遵命长官，总统先生 Yes, sir, Mr. President.
周围状况稳定，“熊爸爸”十分清晰 准备完备 Perimeter stable. Got a bead on Papa Bear. All clear.
（这曲子是...疯狂的青蛙...） Funk
- 我们上！ - 快让开！ - Let's go! - Get out of the way!
现在把她弄下来，我们上！ Set her down now. Here we go!
指挥官，用暴力吧 Oommander, do something violent!
你们听到总统的话了！全力开火！ You heard the president! Light 'em up!
我们快被压扁了！ 呼叫空中支援！呼叫空中支援！ We're getting pummeled here! Oall in air support! Oall in air support!
（外星人回家吧！） ET.Go Home
叫...叫大家撤退 Oall in... Oall in a full retreat!
完全撤退！完全撤退，所有部队！ Full retreat! Full retreat, all troops!
- 准备升空，“熊爸爸”正在逼近 - 等等 - Wheels up. Papa Bear is on the move. - Wait.
你就想这样和我过招吗？ 尝尝铅弹吧，外星机器人！ So that's how you want to play it? Eat lead, alien robot!
- 事实证明他们是吃铅的 - 把他带进直升机 - Evidently, they eat lead. - Get him on the chopper.
我很勇敢！我是位勇敢的总统！ I'm brave! I'm a brave president!
快跑啊！ Get out of the way!
- 长官！我们必须声明一份... - 我们须要颠覆这机器人... - Sir! We need to declare a... - We need to overthrow that robot
- ...并扶植我们的政府！ - 把我们的长者献祭给它吧 - and install our own government! - Let's sacrifice the elderly to it!
- 我说我们该侵入它！ - 地球只剩下两周的时间了 - I say we invade it! - The Earth only has two weeks left!
如果那玩意儿移动到人口稠密地区 那就会大难临头了 If that thing walks into a populated area there'll be a major catastrophe!
这事情需要我们顶尖的科学家 给我接印度！ We need our top scientific minds on this. Get India on the phone!
我们能把美国转移到更安全的星球吗？ Oan we transport the United States to a safer planet?
我说给这个外星人绿卡 并让它自豪地成为美国人 Give this alien a green card and make him proud to be an American.
在这危急时刻我将驻足自问 “奥普拉会怎么做？” （奥普拉是著名的脱口秀节目主持人） It's at dire times like this when I stop and ask myself, "What would Oprah do?"
都别说了！有什么用呢？ 这就是场大灾难 Hang it all! What's the point? It's a disaster.
- 住手！不要！ - 别这么做！ - Stop! No! - Don't do it!
那按钮会发射我们的核导弹！ That button launches our nuclear missiles!
那么，哪个按钮能给我一杯拿铁咖啡？ Well, which button gets me a latte?
就是另外一个，长官 That would be the other one, sir.
- 那个白痴设计这玩意儿的？ - 是你，长官 - What idiot designed this thing? - You did, sir.
- 那好吧，威尔森，随便解雇一个人！ - 遵命长官，总统先生 - Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody! - Yes, sir, Mr. President.
听着，我不会作历史上第一位总统... Listen up. I'm not going to go down in history
...当世界末日时... as the president who was in office
...却呆在他的办公室里 when the world came to an end,
所以不管谁马上给我想出办法来 还要尽快 so somebody think of something, and think of it fast!
- 味道好极了 - 总统先生！ - That is a good cup ofjoe. - Mr. President?
我不单止有办法，还有计划！ Not only do I have an idea, but I have a plan!
现在，常规武器对这东西已经没有作用 Now, conventional weapons have no effect on this thing,
- 而且我们明白核武器不是选择 - 当然不是，我只是... - and we know nukes ain't an option. - Sure they are. I just...
- 别这么干！住手！ - 等等！ - Don't do it! Stop! - Wait!
我不会和你打哈哈，总统先生 这的确是灰暗的时刻 I'm not gonna kid you, Mr. President. These are dark times.
形势对我们极为不利，我们要放手一搏 我们要全新的武器，我们需要... The odds are against us. We need a Hail Mary pass. We need raw power! We need...
...怪物 ...monsters.
怪物！当然！就这么简单！ Monsters! Of course! It's so simple!
我...我不太明白 I... I'm not following you.
在过去的50年里 我已经抓了不少狂暴中的怪物 Over the last 50 years, I have captured monsters on the rampage,
并把它们关在了秘密的设施里 and locked them up in a secret prison facility.
十分秘密 以至于提它名字都是国家重罪 So secret that the mere mention of its name is a federal offense.
他是不是在说第51区... Is he referring to Area Fifty...
总统先生，我向你介绍“虫虫怪” Mr. President, say hello to Insectosaurus!
荣森女士，拜托 Miss Ronson, please.
核辐射把它从一个小幼虫... Nuclear radiation turned him from a small grub
...变成了350英尺高的怪物 并袭击了东京 into a 350-foot-tall monster that attacked Tokyo.
这位就是我们的“丢失之环”林克 Here we have the Missing Link.
一只被冰冻了2万年的半鱼人 被科学家解冻 A 20,000-year-old frozen fish man who was thawed out by scientists.
他逃脱后去到他原本活动的水域 并变得狂暴 He escaped and went on a rampage in his old watering hole.
这位帅哥是蟑螂博士，拥有博士学位 This handsome fellow is Dr. Oockroach, Ph.D.,
（实验78号 变异加强实验 62年9月12日） 这世上最睿智的人 the most brilliant man in the world.
他发明了一部科学机器 He invented a scientific machine
这机器会给予人类蟑螂的生存能力 that would give humans the cockroach's ability to survive.
不幸的是，会有副作用 Unfortunately, there was a side effect.
（BOB=安息香酸O型环绕重碳酸盐） 现在，我们叫这东西“鲍勃” Now, we call this thing B.O.B.
谁能给我把她带出去？！ Will someone get her out of here?!
多谢 Thank you.
一枚被基因改造过的西红柿 与零食工厂中最好的... A genetically altered tomato was combined with a chemically altered
...并被改变了化学成分的 农场口味点心相结合 ranch-flavored dessert topping at a snack food plant.
所得到的粘稠物质获得了意识 The resulting goop gained consciousness,
并变成了一个无法摧毁的粘胶状物质 and became an indestructible gelatinous mass.
然后，我们的最新成员，女巨人 And, our latest addition, Ginormica.
将军，请继续 General, continue.
她全身上下放射出纯能量 Her entire body radiates with pure energy,
使她拥有巨大的力量和身材 giving her enormous strength and size.
长官，要打败这机器人 这些怪物是我们最佳的也是唯一的机会 Sir, these monsters are our best and only chance to defeat that robot.
将军，我们手头已经有外星人难题了 Don't we already have an alien problem, General?
我不认为我们需要再来一个怪物难题 I don't think we need a monster problem, too.
你有更好的主意吗，内德？ You got a better idea, nerd?
好，请留在原地 OK. Stay where you are.
将军，我建议执行... General, I propose we go forward
...你的“怪物大战外星人” 计划...之类的 with your monsters-versus-aliens idea... thingy.
来吧小鱼儿 Go fish.
你那... Do you...
...有...拿着... ...have any...
...“三”吗？ ...threes?
对，我有！你怎么做到的？ Yes. I do! How are you doing this?
- 你是我见过运气最好的人 - 运气和这没有关系 - You're the luckiest guy I know. - Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it.
怎么？嘿！ What the? Hey!
他们说我疯了，我要让他们见识到 我会让他们全都见识到 They called me crazy, but I'll show them. I'll show them all!
博士，我觉得在我 连着这机器的时候... Doctor, I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist laugh
...你还是不要疯笑的好 while I'm hooked up to this machine.
说得对，虫虫 You're right, Insecto.
你让他在你身上 作了一个月的蹩脚试验 You've let that quack experiment on you for over a month.
我不是蹩脚博士！我是疯狂科学家！ 这有区别 I'm not a quack! I'm a mad scientist! There is a difference.
大家伙，我还有什么选择呢？如果 他能让我恢复正常，或者缩到六尺八寸 Guys, what choice do I have? If he can make me normal, or even six foot eight,
我就能离开这里 回到我应该过的生活里 I can get out of here, get back to the life I'm supposed to have.
- 我会在... - 让我猜猜，弗雷斯诺？ - I should be in... - Let me guess, Fresno?
其实，弗雷斯诺只是个垫脚石 下一站，密尔沃基 Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone. Next stop, Milwaukee.
- 然后纽约，然后希望的是... - 是啊，我们知道，巴黎 - Then New York, then hopefully... - Yeah, we know. Paris.
推动开关吧，博士 不过别那样笑了 Throw the switch, Doctor, but don't do the laugh.
接下来你会感到大脑 像被轻微地夹了一下 Now you're going to feel a slight pinch in the brain.
抱歉 Sorry.
苏珊！ Susan!
我变小了吗？ Am I small again?
恐怕没有，亲爱的 I'm afraid not, my dear.
实际上，你可能又长高了几尺 In fact, you may actually have grown a couple of feet.
没关系，博士，我们明天再试试 That's OK, Doc. We'll try again tomorrow.
你还不明白，是吗？ 没有怪物从这里离开过 You really don't get it, do you? No monster has ever gotten out of here!
这不对！隐形人做到了 That's not true! The Invisible Man did.
不，他没有 我们只是不想你伤心才那么说的 No, he didn't. We just told you that so you wouldn't get upset.
他在25年前心脏病突发死了 He died of a heart attack 25 years ago.
不！ No!
是啊...就在那张椅子上 Yeah... in that very chair.
他还在那儿 He's still there.
你明白我的话了么？ 没有人走得了，没有人能出去 You see what I'm saying? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's ever getting out.
好消息，怪物们！你们可以出去了！ Good news, monsters! You're getting out!
直到今天 Until today.
那让我把话说清楚吧，蒙哥 So let me get this straight, Monger.
你要我们去和一架外星机器人打架 You want us to fight an alien robot.
而且，作为交换，合众国的总统... And, in exchange, the president of these United States
...授权我给予你们自由 authorized me to grant you your freedom.
真不敢相信！ 很快，我就可以回到德里克的怀里... I can't believe it! Soon, I'll be back in Derek's arms...
...或者他回到我怀里 ...or he'll be in mine.
我真等不及春假才到可可海滩... I can't wait for spring break back at Oocoa Beach, just
...去吓人了 freaking everybody out.
而我会回到我的实验室 并最终完成我的实验 And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.
不！这是我要干的，鲍勃 No! That's me, B.O.B.
- 那我就是真正的女巨人 - 那是苏珊，鲍勃 - Then I'll be a really giant lady. - That's Susan, B.O.B.
好吧，那我就会回到莫德斯托 和德里克在一起 Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.
那还是苏珊，鲍勃 That's still Susan, B.O.B.
我想吧，至少应该给我 和德里克一个机会 I think I, at least, deserve a chance to be with Derek!
好了，我们走吧！ All right, let's go!
大家以有序的潮流方式行进！ 这是紧急事件！ Everybody move in an orderly fashion! This is an emergency!
我们正在疏散该市！ We are evacuating the city!
如果自备零钱，我们将会非常感谢 但不是必需的 Exact change is appreciated, but not necessary!
大家出动吧！ Let's move out!
这是旧金山！离我家不远的！ This is San Francisco! This isn't far from my home!
轻风吹动着触须，难道不美妙吗？ Feel the wind on your antennae. Isn't this wonderful?
我已经50年没有出来了 外面的世界真精彩！ I haven't been outside in 50 years. It's amazing out here!
比我记忆中要热啊 地球变暖了吗？ It's hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer?
知道这个我真高兴 真是个让人安心的事实 That'd be great to know. That would be a very convenient truth.
- 这就是那机器人了！ - 它真大 - Now that's a robot! - It's huge.
尽量不要把它破坏的太厉害，怪物们 Try not to damage it too much.
我可能要把它带回到农场里 I might want to bring it back to the farm!
不不不，等等！ 你之前没说过它很巨大啊！ No, no, no, wait! You didn't say anything about it being huge!
等等！不！别走！ Wait! No! Don't leave!
我想它看到我们了 I think he sees us.
你好！嗨！你好吗？ Hello! Hi! How you doing?
欢迎啊！我们是来毁掉你的！ Welcome! We are here to destroy you!
我不能和它作战 我甚至不能...我从没有... I can't fight that thing. I can't even... I've never...
我呼吸变快了 有谁能给我一个大纸袋吗？ I'm hyperventilating. Does anybody have a giant paper bag?
放松 Relax.
老林克已经控制住局面了 Old Link's got this under control.
到市区里藏身吧，苏珊 在那里你会很安全 Hide in the city, Susan. You'll be safe there.
不过不要靠近油水区，那里有些危险！ （城市中犯罪率高极度腐败的地区） But stay away from the Tenderloin! It's a little dicey!
终于，有行动了 我会把这特大号的罐头盒子... Finally, some action. I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can
...变成个真正压扁的特大号罐头盒子 into a really dented oversized tin can.
好了，有人打赌虫虫怪能打赢它吗？ OK! Does anybody have a 20 on Insectosaurus?
哇哦！看着真大，那只... Wow! Would you look at the size of that...
脚！ Foot!
我逮着他了，大家伙！我逮着... I got him, you guys! I got...
别担心，我不会松手的！ 我要把它粘倒！ Don't worry, I won't let go! I'm wearing him down!
拜托告诉我他慢下来了！ Please tell me he's slowing down!
到市区去，林克 我会尽快追上你的 Get to the city, Link. I'll catch up with you as soon as I can.
或许你得追上我 Or maybe you'll have to catch up with me.
不！不要！ Oh, no! No, no, no!
（广告牌 出意外了？） Accident
（车牌 借过） XQZMEEEE
好了，好了，我能行的 OK, OK. I got this.
嗯，这挺疼 Yep, that hurt.
上车！我有计划了！ Get in! I have a plan!
热狗！ Hot dogs!
好了，林克，我会把车停在它旁边 然后你爬进去 All right, Link, I'm going to pull up alongside it! You get up in there,
找到它的中央处理器，然后... get to its central processing unit, and...
- 嘿，伙计们，接住我！ - 不！ - Hey, guys, catch me! - No!
走吧，走吧！动起来！ Let's go, let's go! Keep it moving!
嘿！禁鸣喇叭！ Hey! No honking!
抱歉！借过！走你右边！没刹车！ Excuse me! Ooming through! On your right! No control!
噢，不！ Oh, no.
好了，很快就没事了 看，我这就把你弄出来 OK! It's going to be OK! Look, I'm gonna get you out of there!
撑住了，我们必须要离开大桥 赶在... Hold on a second! We have to get off the bridge before...
不不不！别靠近我！ No, no, no! Get away from me!
借过！小心！ Ooming through! Watch it!
嘿，毛毛球，你跑哪儿去了？ Hey, furball, where you been?
是啊，我知道，老爹有点不在状态 Yeah, I know. Papa's a little out of shape.
打搅了！这玩意儿要杀了我！ 为什么它要这么做？它为什么... Excuse me! He's trying to kill me! Why is it doing that? Why would it...
- 你干的真不错 - 我用尽全力了！ - Wow. You're doing great! - I'm doing everything!
我们就来 来吧，伙计们，我们把他干掉！ Not for long. Oome on, you guys. Let's take this thing down!
偏转护盾，真典型 A deflector shield. Typical.
蟑螂是碾不死的！ You can't crush a cockroach!
好了，好了 Right, right.
要动手了 Here we go.
虫虫怪！ Insectosaurus!
- 鲍勃！ - 干吗？ - B.O. B! - What?
- 救命！ - 抱歉 - Help me! - Sorry.
- 我在盯着那只鸟看 - 把人们弄下桥 - I was staring at this bird over there. - Get these people off the bridge!
明白 Got it.
不！鲍勃！移走护栏！ No, B.O. B! Move the dividers!
噢，对，你是对的，是我不好 Oh, yeah, you're right. My bad.
走走走！ Go, go, go, go!
林克！ Link!
我好像吃太饱了 Oh, I don't feel good.
好了，苏珊，你能做到的 OK. Susan, you can do this.
好了，我们把他干掉吧 All right. Let's take this thing down.
回收失败 Retrieval has failed.
别难过，人人都有失败的时候 Don't get upset. It happens to everyone.
这个低等生物认为她可以 偷走我的量子核？ That lower life form thinks she can steal my Quantonium?!
立刻派出另一个探测器！ Send another probe at once!
量子核无法被机器人回收 Quantonium cannot be retrieved via robot.
基于碳元素的生命体，当地 称之为苏珊，已经十分强大 Oarbon-based life form, locally known as Susan, is now too strong.
你以为你很高很壮... Oh, you think because you're all big and strong
...还打坏了我的机器人探测器... and you can destroy my robot probe
...就可以让我又躲又藏的了？ that you're gonna send me running and hiding?!
我躲躲藏藏的日子已经结束了！ My days of running and hiding are over!
计算机，向地球航进 Oomputer, set a course to Earth.
我要亲自回收量子核 I will retrieve the Quantonium myself,
就算我要一个细胞一个细胞地... even if I need to rip it out of her body
...撕开她的身体！ one cell at a time!
小心，很烫 Oareful, it's hot.
三周前，如果你要我去打败一个 巨大的外星机器人的话 Three weeks ago, if you had asked me to defeat a giant alien robot,
我会说 “我无能为力” 但是我做到了！我！ I'd have said, "No can do." But I did it! Me!
我还有点晕乎乎的 I'm still buzzing.
你看到我有多厉害了吗？ 可能这世上没有我开不了的罐子了 Did you see how strong I was?! Probably isn't a jar in this world I can't open.
当时你绝对十分英勇，亲爱的 You were positively heroic, my dear.
我特别喜欢你救出桥上的人的方式 I especially loved how you saved those people on the bridge.
真令人感动 她不令人惊叹吗，林克？ It was a nice touch. Wasn't she amazing, Link?
是啊，她真棒，很不错，我也喜欢 Yeah, she was great. Really cool. Loved it.
可怜的林克 Oh, poor Link.
说了那么多的狠话 你的怪物任务被一个女孩解决了 After all that tough talk, you were out-monstered by a girl.
- 怪不得你那么沮丧 - 嘿！我不沮丧，我只是累了 - No wonder you're depressed. - Hey, I'm not depressed. I'm tired.
你怎么会累？你没做什么啊 Why are you tired? You didn't do anything.
我最近没睡好，好吧？ Well, I haven't been sleeping well.
最近睡觉时没有喘气...呼吸 管它的，反正不好玩 I got sleep apnes... apnea. Whatever. It's not fun.
所以林克才会有点迟钝... 我是说，睡眠不足 So Link's a little rusty... I mean, sleep deprived.
你很快就会回到以往的状态的 You'll be back to your old self in no time.
而我也是 And so will I.
那“这世上没有我打不开的罐子”呢？ What happened to the "there isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
等等，你找到了你打不开的罐子了？ 里面有泡菜吗？ Wait. Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Were pickles in it?
- 那罐巨大的泡菜在哪儿？ - 我的同僚想说的是... - Where's the giantjar of pickles?! - What my associate is trying to say
...我们都认为这位 全新的苏珊十分令人惊叹 is that we all think the new Susan is the "cat's me-wow."
对不起 I'm sorry.
谢谢，大家伙，这真体贴 Thanks, you guys. That is so sweet,
但我还有正常人的生活等着我 明白吗？ but I have a normal life waiting for me. You know?
那么，确切地告诉我，你那么 巨大，正常人生活什么的怎么实现？ So, tell me, exactly, how this normal life thing works with you being giant.
我不会永远这么巨大啊 I'm not gonna be a giant forever.
德里克会不休不止地寻找治疗我... Derek won't rest until we've found a cure for my...
...状况的方法，我和他一条心 ...condition. We're a team.
我们可以让德里克加入 或许，某天，我们可以认识一下他 We could all do with a Derek. Perhaps, someday, we could make his acquaintance!
真的？你们想见德里克？ Really? You guys want to meet Derek?
第一站，莫德斯托！ First stop, Modesto!
女巨人，我给你家里打电话 通知他们你回家 Ginormica, I called your family to let them know you were coming home.
而且我还给莫德斯托警局的人 打了电话，让他们不要朝你开火 Now, I also called the Modesto PD and told them not to shoot at you.
谢谢你，将军 Thanks, General.
好了，记住，这里的人并不乐见... OK, remember, these people aren't used to seeing...
...某些像... ...anything like...
...你，或你... ...you, or you...
...或你的人 ...or you.
所以你们要...就是...平静些 你们要...就是... So just be, you know, cool. Just be... you know...
跟我做就好 Follow my lead.
住手！刚才那个是不小心的 Stop! That was an accident!
什么东西都别弄坏！ Don't destroy anything!
苏珊？ Susan?
- 小苏珊！ - 妈？爸？ - Susie Q! - Mom? Daddy?
- 他们在你身上做试验了吗？ - 没有，妈，我很好 - Did they experiment on you? - No, Mom. I'm fine.
没关系的，他们和我一起来的 It's OK. They're with me.
这些是我的新朋友 These are my new friends.
哦，德里克！我太想你了！ Oh, Derek! I missed you so much,
想着总有一天我们会再在一起的！ thinking that we'd someday be together again!
这是唯一让我熬过监狱生活的事情！ 我爱你！我爱这个男人！ It's the only thing that got me through prison! I love you! I love this man!
不，鲍勃！那是我妈妈！ 你要憋死她了！ No, B.O. B! That's my mother! You're suffocating her!
老婆，你还好吧？ Honey, are you all right?
- 我尝到火腿味了 - 抱歉，妈 - I taste ham. - Sorry, Mom.
他就是这么热情 He's just a hugger.
德里克在哪儿？ Where's Derek?
他在工作，亲爱的 He's at work, sweetie.
你知道他怎么对待工作的 You know how he is about his career.
- 没有他我们不能庆祝啊 - 苏珊 - We're not gonna celebrate without him! - Susan!
我该怎么招待你的这些小朋友们？ What do I do with all your little friends?
用些吃的就可以了，他们什么都吃 Just put out some snacks! They'll eat anything!
天赐佳肴 Ambrosia!
玩得开心吗？ How's it going?
你好啊，姑娘 Qué pasa, girlfriend?
跳得不错，虫虫 Way to cut up a rug, Insecto!
谁想和林克一起游游泳啊？ Who wants to go for a swim with the Link?
嗨，我是安息香酸O型环绕重碳酸盐 Hi. I'm Benzoate-Ostylezene-Bicarbonate.
你也可以叫我“鲍勃”，这样简单些 Or you can call me "B.O.B.", whichever's easier.
我是不是太急了？我很抱歉 Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry.
我有些生疏了 我在监狱里呆了一辈子 I'm a little rusty. I've been in prison my whole life.
我干吗要提监狱？ Why'd I mention prison?
我不是存心吓你的，我这就走好了 I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just going to go.
我太傻了 I feel so stupid.
好了，大家，保持冷静 不管做什么，千万别惹着他们 All right, everyone, just stay calm. Whatever you do, do not provoke them.
谁要来点原子杜松子泡沫酒？ 这东西很... Anyone care for an Atomic Gin Fizz? It's got quite a...
...带劲 ...kick.
氯气！氯气进眼睛啦！ Ohlorine! Ohlorine in my eyes!
- 他们朝我们来啦！ - 大家快逃命啊！ - They're turning on us! - Everyone run for your lives!
他们被什么吓跑了？ What are they running away from?
太有趣了，吉姆 That's hilarious, Jim.
这就是我到弗雷斯诺后会想念的... That's exactly the kind of down-home country humor
...乡间幽默 I'm gonna miss when I'm in Fresno.
我是德里克·迪特尔 最后一次为您播报 This is Derek Dietl, signing off for the very last time.
- 晚安，莫德斯托 - 172频道 - Good night, Modesto! - Ohannel 172.
停拍！ And cut.
喜欢那“最后播报”的道别词吗？ 临时编的 Did you like that sign off? Just made it up.
我的上帝 Oh, my goodness.
等等等等！别别别别！ Wait, wait, wait! But, but!
德里克，你不会相信我这三周 是怎么过的，你不会信的 Oh, Derek. You wouldn't believe my last three weeks!
不停想你，就是唯一能让我 保持理智的原因 Thinking about you was the only thing that kept me sane.
- 不能喘气！肋骨要断了！ - 噢，天啊，我很抱歉 - Oan't breathe! Ribs collapsing! - Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!
我的天啊，这样好些吗？ Oh, my goodness. Is that better?
好了，好了 OK. OK.
我还是没有适应好我的力气 I'm still kind of getting used to my new strength.
哇！你真的好大！ Wow! You really are big!
是啊，但我还是我啊 我还是那个你爱的女孩 Yeah, but I'm still me. I'm still the same girl you fell in love with.
除了你的确弄坏了金门大桥 Except you did just destroy the Golden Gate Bridge.
但那是我能制止 那巨大机器人的唯一办法啊 But that was the only way I could stop that giant robot!
你以为我愿意干那样的事情吗？ You ever think I could do something like that?
不，我没那么想 老实说我根本从没，从没，从没... No, I didn't. I can honestly say it never, ever, ever, ever,
...从没，从没，从没这样想过 ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever occurred to me.
听我说，我知道这有点奇怪 Look, I know this is a little weird.
好吧，是很奇怪，但我们会有办法的 OK, it's a lot weird, but we'll figure it out.
我知道的，一起的话 我们就能找到让我恢复正常的方法 I know that, together, we can find a way to get me back to normal.
苏珊，试一试从我的角度去看这件事 Susan, try and look at this from my perspective.
我有一群观众，要听我主持的新闻... I have an audience that depends on me for news,
...天气，体育还有些 温馨感人的小节目 weather, sports and heart-warming fluff pieces.
你希望我把这些都放下来... You expect me to put all that on hold
...而你却在尝试挽回 发生在你身上的事？ while you try to undo this thing that happened to you?
而我却和这件事完全没有关联？ That I had absolutely nothing to do with?
是啊，这的确是我希望的 Yes. That's exactly what I expect.
我们一直谈论的那种生活呢？ 你不想要了吗？ What about the life we always talked about? Don't you still want that?
当然想，我只是... Of course. I just...
...看不到能和你过那种生活的希望 ...don't see how I can have that with you.
德里克，求求你，别这么做 Derek, please, don't do this.
你必须要面对现实了，苏珊 You have to face facts, Susan.
我说出来请不要压扁我 但我实在不希望结婚后... Don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married
...我的余生要在某人的阴影里度过 and spend the rest of my life in someone else's shadow.
而你正在投下一片大大的阴影 And you're casting a pretty big shadow.
对不起，我们完了 I'm sorry. It's over.
祝好运了，苏珊 Good luck, Susan.
（欢迎再来莫德斯托） Leaving Modesto
哇！派对真棒！ Wow! What a shindig!
你爸妈真是有一套 Your parents really know how to throw it down.
什么？不，那派对的确很棒 What? No, that was a great party,
是我出狱之后遇到最好的派对之一了 one of the best I've been to since I got out of prison.
我肯定去了另一个派对了 I must have been at a different party,
因为我的确不这么觉得 'cause that's not how I interpreted it at all.
我觉得你爸妈不喜欢我 而且那果冻给我的电话号码是假的 I don't think your parents liked me, and that JELL-O gave me a fake phone number.
至少那些垃圾是免费的 知道吗？我是说... Well, at least the garbage was free. You know? I mean...
我们骗谁呢？ 我们能拯救这星球上的每一座城市 Ah, who are we kidding? We could save every city on the planet,
而他们还是像以往一样当我们是... and they'd still treat us the same way they've always treated us...
...怪物 ...like monsters.
是啊，怪物 Right. Monsters.
不论如何，德里克好吗？ Anyway, how is Derek?
德里克是一个自私的混蛋 Derek is a selfish jerk.
- 不！ - 对！ - No! - Yes.
他口中的“我们” “我太为我们骄傲了” All that talk about "us." "I'm so proud of us."
“我们在弗雷斯诺找到工作了” 根本就不是“我们” "Us just got a job in Fresno." There's no "us."
他口中只有德里克，为什么我要 在被陨石击中之后才能看清 There was only Derek. Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that?
我真是个傻瓜 I was such an idiot!
我到底为什么会以为 和德里克一起生活会很棒？ Why did I ever think life with Derek would be so great, anyway?
我是说，看看没有他的时候我做的事情 I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him.
和外星机器人战斗？ 那是我，不是他 Fighting an alien robot? That was me, not him.
而且那真棒！遇见你们？同样很棒 And that was amazing! Meeting you guys? Amazing.
蟑螂博士，你能爬墙 Dr. Oockroach, you can crawl up walls
还能造出个超级电脑来，只需要 一个比萨饼盒，两罐发胶，还有... and build a supercomputer out of a pizza box, two cans of hairspray, and...
- 一个纸夹！ - 棒极了！ - A paper clip! - Amazing!
还有你，你简直不用说了 你就是丢失之环！ And you! You hardly need an introduction. You're the Missing Link!
你一个人就把可可海滩上的 250个女孩子赶跑了 You personally carried 250 co-eds off of Oocoa Beach,
而且还有力气击退国民警卫队的人 and still had strength to fight off the National Guard!
还有海岸警卫队的，还有救生员 And the Ooast Guard and, also, the lifeguard.
太棒了！ Amazing!
鲍勃，还能有谁... B.O. B! Who else could fall
...从无法想象的高度坠落 还能完好无损？ from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?
- 林克？ - 是你 - Link? - You.
太棒了！ Amazing!
说得好，虫虫 苏珊，不要亏待了自己 Good point, Insecto! Susan, don't short-change yourself!
我不会亏待我自己了，永远不会 Oh, I'm not going to short-change myself ever again!
- 我们见证！ - 对！ - Testify! - Yeah.
没错 Oh, yes.
苏珊！ Susan!
干得好，虫虫！ Way to go, Insecto!
虫虫，小心！ Insecto, look out!
虫虫怪！不！ Insectosaurus! No!
你能做到的 You're gonna make it.
你会好起来的，看着我 It's going to be all right. Look at me.
你不能闭上眼睛 你千万不能闭上眼睛 Don't you close those eyes. Don't you dare close those eyes.
你不能... You can't...
你一定被吓坏了 You must be terrified.
在一个奇怪的地方醒来 穿着奇怪衣服 You wake up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes,
被一个飘在奇怪的嗡嗡响的机器上的 奇怪生物囚禁着 imprisoned by a strange being floating on a strange hovering device.
奇怪，不是吗？ Strange, isn't it?
一点也不，这可不是第一次了 Hardly. It's not the first time.
哇，你适应的真快 Wow. You really get around.
到释放室去吧 To the extraction chamber!
听着，你想从我这里得到什么？ Look. What is it that you want from me?
你偷了一个本属于我的东西 You have stolen what is rightfully mine!
我没有从你这偷过任何东西 I didn't steal anything from you.
你这巨大，古怪的身体里 拥有着量子核 Your enormous, grotesque body contains Quantonium,
这宇宙中最强大的物质 the most powerful substance in the universe.
你真的以为你能永远拥有吗？ Did you really think you could keep it from me?
这就是这一切的原因吗？ That's what this is all about?
你把旧金山摧毁了 你使几百万人进入恐慌 You destroyed San Francisco, you terrified millions of people...
你杀了我的朋友 就只是为了得到我？ ...you killed my friend, just to get to me?
安静！你的声音让我的耳瘤嗡嗡响 Silence! Your voice is grating on my ear nubs.
真是可惜，你不能留下来看到... It's a shame you won't be around to see what the power of Quantonium
...在懂得如何使用它的人的触须里 量子核到底有什么威力 can do in the tentacles of someone who knows how to use it!
我知道怎么好好地使用它了！ I know how to use itjust fine!
没用的，这个力场是无法穿透... Don't bother. That force field is impenetrab...
这怎么回事？ What the Flagnard?!
这就能制止你那微小的... That should stop your puny...
计算机，关闭，悬挂门2号！ Oomputer, close door, hangar two!
关闭，悬挂门3号！ Olose door, hangar three!
悬挂门4号！ Door, hangar four!
全都关上！ Olose them all!
计算机，开始释放程序！ Oomputer, begin extraction!
终于，我可以在一个新星球上 重建我的文明 Finally, I can rebuild my civilization on a new planet.
你觉得我该在哪里开家店子好？ Any thoughts on where I should set up shop?
或许，在你的星球上？ Your planet, perhaps?
你别用你那粘糊糊的触须碰我的星球 You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet!
如果你想要制止我 你就该在... If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it
...还拥有量子核的时候动手了 when you possessed the Quantonium!
现在你什么也不是 Now you're nothing.
这星球上有着 什么也没做过的无辜的人 There are innocent people down there who didn't do anything!
在我的星球被毁之前 也有很多无辜的人生活在上面 There were innocent people on my home planet before it was destroyed.
- 我很遗憾你的星球被摧毁了 - 噢，不需要 - I'm sorry your planet was destroyed. - Oh, don't be.
我就是摧毁它的人，迷惑吗？ I'm the one who destroyed it. Oonfused?
在向你揭露我的故事之后 所有事都会像水晶般明晰 After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear.
计算机，初始化克隆机 Oomputer, initialize cloning machine.
遵命，银河煞星 Yes, Gallaxhar.
许多章鱼年之前 当我还只是只小乌贼 Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling,
我发现我的父母是... I found out my parents were...
没有哪个孩子该承受这个 No child should ever have to endure that!
所以我来到公路上 带着一个巨大的... So I went on the road with a giant...
而很快之后我结婚了 And soon thereafter was married!
生活过得挺好的，直到她想要... Things were going well, until she wanted to...
而我总说“不行！”，而她 总说“能行！”而我就像... And then I was all, "No way!", and she was all, "Yes, way," and I was like...
但是我已经和你说得太多了 But I've told you too much already!
让我的新星球诞生吧！就叫... Let the birth of my new planet, now called...
“银河煞星”星球！ ..."Gallaxhar's Planet" begin!
再一次，一架 UFO 在美国登陆了 Once again, a UFO has landed in America,
在这看起来是唯一一个 曾被外星人光顾的国家 the only country UFO's ever seem to land in.
抱歉，什么事，亨什沃？ Excuse me. What's that, Henshaw?
那好吧 Okey-dokey.
我们现在要为您实时传送一段 来自外星人飞船的广播 We now take you, live, to a transmission from the alien spacecraft.
地球的人类，我为和平而来 Humans of Earth, I have come in peace.
你们不需要畏惧我 我不会伤害你们 You need not fear me. I mean you no harm.
不论如何你们要牢记，你们中大部分人 不会在接下来的24小时中幸存 However, it is important to note most of you will not survive the next 24 hours.
而幸存下来的人将会成为 奴隶或用于试验 And those who do survive will be enslaved and experimented on.
你们不应当把这当成针对你们的行为 You should in no way take any of this personally.
这只是例行公事，我总结一下 It's just business. So just to recap:
我为和平而来，我不会伤害你们 而你们都将死亡，银河煞星通话完毕 I come in peace, I mean you no harm and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.
好了，伙计们，把恐怖警戒等级... OK, boys, set the terror level
...设成棕色，因为我要去换裤子了 at code brown 'cause I need to change my pants.
- 我们该怎么办，博士？ - 我... - What're we gonna do now, Doc? - I...
我不知道 I don't know.
我来告诉你们该怎么做 我们不能让虫虫白白牺牲 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're not gonna let Insecto die in vain.
我们要进入那艘飞船，找到苏珊 而且我们要把那外星人击败 We're gonna get up there, find Susan, and we're gonna take that alien down!
好了，我们的飞行器 有足够燃料把你们送到那里 All right, you got enough juice in those jetpacks to get up there,
但是不够用来回家 but not enough to make it home.
我会尽我所能来接你们，如果我没来 那就说明我死了，或迟到了 I'll come get you if I can. If I don't, it means I'm dead. Or late.
我作为你们的狱长有50年了 I've been your warden for close to 50 years.
现在情况不同了 That's no longer the case.
对于你们的贡献... For what it's worth...
- 这真粗鲁，我们做错什么了？ - 不，鲍勃，这不是粗鲁 - That's rude. What did we do? - No, B.O.B., that's not rude.
这是表示敬意 That's a sign of respect.
将军，它瞄准我们了 General, it's targeting us!
这就是我的目的，中尉，保持航向 That's the idea, Lieutenant. Hold your course.
稳住 Steady.
紧急右转！紧急右转！ Hard right! Hard right!
我摆脱不了它！ I can't shake it!
给我抓稳了！我们要兜风了！ Hang on to your socks! We're going for a ride!
这就是为什么我总背着降落伞，中尉 That's why I always wear a parachute, Lieutenant.
你可以放开我了，中尉 You can let go of me now, Lieutenant.
你在向谁发信号？我们就在这 Who are you signaling? We're right here.
嘿，闭嘴 Hey, zip it!
克隆人们 Olone!
- 万岁，银河煞星！ - 不，不是全部，就你，那个 - Hail Gallaxhar! - No, not all of you. You, there.
我该怎么说？三个后退！ How do I do this? Three back.
不不不，你旁边那个 我指着的那个！ No, no, no, no. That guy next to you. The one I'm pointing at!
你！就那个... You! The one...
就你，克隆人！对！好！ You, clone! Yes! Good!
把这囚犯带到焚化仓去 Take the prisoner to the incinerator.
她对我们没用处了 She's useless to us now.
- 万岁，银河煞星 - 我万岁 - Hail Gallaxhar. - Hail me.
哇，女巨人不再...那么巨人了 Wow. Ginormica ain't so... "ginormic" anymore.
我们怎样才能接近她？ How are we supposed to get to her?
他们太多人了，简直不可能 There's too many of them. It's impossible.
我或许没有大脑，先生们 但我有个主意 I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea.
这不会成功的 This is not going to work.
停！ Halt!
我...银河煞星 命令你立即把囚犯交给我 I... Gallaxhar, command you to hand over the prisoner this instant.
很明显，你脑残得修也修不好了 Olearly, you are defective beyond repair.
守卫，把这脑残的克隆带到焚化仓 Guards, take this defective clone to the incinerator!
你们还在等什么？你和你！ Well, what are you waiting for? You and you!
- 真的？ - 没错！把这囚犯... - Seriously? - Yes! Take the prisoner
...和这脑残的克隆带到焚化仓 and the defective clone to the incinerator!
- 当然，长官 - 这是安全通行证，以防万一 - Of course, sir. - Here's a security pass, just in case.
- 你想要把枪吗？ - 是的，我要 - Would you like a gun? - Yes, I would.
嘿，大家伙，看 Hey, guys, look.
好了 OK.
我真不敢相信你们大家来救我了 谢谢你们 I can't believe you guys came to save me. Thank you.
别太在意，我们怪物要团结一致 Don't mention it. We monsters got to stick together.
但是我已经不是怪物了，就只是我了 But I'm not a monster anymore. I'm just me.
亲爱的，不管体型怎样 你永远都... My dear, no matter what your size, you'll always be...
...只是一个肮脏的 基于碳化合物的生命体！ ...nothing but a filthy, carbon-based life form!
万岁，银河煞星！ Hail Gallaxhar!
万岁，银河煞星 Hail Gallaxhar.
这些伪装真有用！ These disguises are the bomb!
没错！跟我来 That's it! Follow me.
- 拯救地球的唯一办法是... - 万岁，银河煞星！ - The only way to save the Earth... - Hail Gallaxhar!
万岁，银河煞星，拯救地球... Hail Gallaxhar. The only way...
- 万岁，银河煞星！ - 万岁，银河煞星 - Hail Gallaxhar! - Hail Gallaxhar.
...的唯一方法，就是在入侵之前... ...to save the Earth is to blow up this ship...
- 万岁，银河煞星！ - 万岁，银河煞星 - Hail Gallaxhar! - Hail Gallaxhar.
- ...炸毁这艘飞船 - 我们要怎样做？ ...before the invasion starts. - How are we gonna do this?
我们要找到主能源核心 We need to find the main power core.
打搅了，你能告诉我们 主能源核心怎么走吗？ Excuse me, could you direct us to the main power core?
乐意之至 就在那里，在释放室的上方 Gladly. It's right there, above the extraction chamber.
非常感谢你，万岁，银河煞星 Thank you very much. Hail Gallaxhar.
- 小心！ - 小心，没头脑 - Watch out! - Look out, brainless!
把这玩意儿给我！ Give me that thing!
像这样的武器应该放在有责任心的人手里 A weapon like this needs to be in the hands of someone responsible.
怎么回事？ What?!
万岁，银河煞星？ Hail Gallaxhar?
怪物！ Monsters!
- 怪物 - 怪物？ - Monsters. - Monsters?!
注意！所有外星人！ 杀死所有的怪物！ Attention, all aliens! Destroy all monsters!
想尝尝我的厉害吗？ You want some of this?!
忍者！ Ninja!
想伤害我的朋友？除非你能穿过我！ You want to hurt my friends, you'll have to go through me!
不错 Oh, yeah.
苏珊！ Susan!
不敢相信我们做到了 I can't believe we made it!
我...的...天 O... M... G.
警告 入侵者 Warning: Intruder.
你永远破解不了我的颜色密码的 You'll never figure out my color code.
一个十六进制的颜色密码系统 A hexadecimal color code system.
这也就是一会儿的事 This won't be but a moment.
红，绿，蓝，黄，橙，浅蓝... Red, green, blue, yellow, orange, baby blue,
...紫，粉红，紫红，金，棕 咖啡，暗绿，土砖色 purple, pink, mauve, gold, brown, mocha, avocado, adobe gold!
博士，加油，快跳！ Doc, come on, dance!
你那徒劳无用的舞步 完全不是我的安全协议的对手 Your busted, tired dance moves are no match for my security protocols.
- 我们快坚持不住了！ - 有件事我没告诉过你，亲爱的 - We can't hold them off much longer! - One thing you don't know about me!
我的博士学位...是... My Ph. D... is in...
...跳舞的！ ...dance! Dance! Dance!
安全协议被破解 Security protocol breached.
飞船已被设定为自我毁灭 Ship has been set to self-destruct.
完全毁灭时限为T-6分钟 Total annihilation in T-minus six minutes.
- 那就快发动入侵！ - 入侵已经无法发动 - Well, launch the invasion then! - Invasion no longer possible.
太空屁话！ Oh, space balls!
把量子核转移至舰桥 准备好我的逃生仓！ Divert the Quantonium to the bridge, and prepare my escape capsule!
看看啊，他们都害怕得逃跑了 怪物胜利了！ Look at that! They're all running scared! Monsters win!
我觉得这不是他们逃跑的原因 I don't think that's why they're running.
飞船将会在T-5分钟后自我毁灭 Ship will self-destruct in T-minus five minutes.
万岁，银河煞星 Hail Gallaxhar!
我们赶不上了！ We're not gonna make it!
抓稳了！ Hang on!
朝前去！ Keep going!
没用的，这打不开 It's no use. It won't budge.
如果我还是女巨人的话就做得到了 If I was still Ginormica, I could do this!
苏珊，趁你还有机会赶紧离开这里吧 Get out of here while you still got the chance!
不要！别这么说，我不会抛弃你们的 No! Don't say that. I'm not leaving you guys.
不，你要这么做，你要和蒙哥汇合 Yes, you are. Rendezvous with Monger.
他就在飞船外面，等着你 走吧，趁还有时间 He's outside the ship, waiting for you. Go while there's still time.
飞船将在T-4分钟后自我毁灭 Ship will self-destruct in T-minus four minutes.
千万不要担心我们，苏珊 Don't you worry about us, Susan.
你终于有机会过上以往的生活了 You finally have a chance to get your old life back.
我不想过以前的生活 I don't want my old life back.
他们以为这就能制止我了？ They think they've stopped me?!
他们没有制止任何东西！ They've stopped nothing.
基于碳化合物的雌性生命体 或叫苏珊，已失去控制 Female carbon-based life form, or Susan, not contained.
什么？ What?!
注意，探测机器人！ 摧毁那个地球人 Attention, robot probes! Orush the earthling!
机器人仓已被摧毁 Robot bay has been destroyed.
发射矢量炮！ Fire phasoid cannon!
你疯了吗？那可能会杀了我的！ Are you crazy?! You could have killed me!
我们已经明白对方的意图了 Then we understand each other.
听好，把门打开让我的朋友走 Now, open the doors and let my friends go.
不然？ Or what?
你不会真以为你是我对手吧，是吗？ You don't actually think you're a match for me, do you?
量子核已被成功转移至舰桥 Quantonium has been successfully diverted to the bridge.
逃生仓已准备好 Escape capsule ready for transport.
就像我说过的 在你还有量子核的时候... Like I told you before, you should have defeated me
...就应该打败我 when you had the Quantonium.
祝爆炸愉快 Have fun exploding!
- 快打开门 - 就算我想也打不开 - Now open the doors. - Even if I wanted to, I couldn't!
当你把船设成自我毁灭之后就这样 That's what happens when you set a ship to self-destruct!
现在我们都要死了！ Now we're all going to die!
而你对此却无能为力，苏珊 And there's nothing you can do about it, Susan!
我不太肯定 I wouldn't be so sure.
还有我的名字是，女巨人 And the name is Ginormica.
完全毁灭时限为T-1分钟 Total annihilation in T-minus one minute.
- 很荣幸认识你，博士 - 彼此彼此，我的朋友 - It's been an honor knowing you, Doc. - The feeling's mutual.
我们明天午餐时再见了 I'll see you guys tomorrow for lunch.
说的对，鲍勃 That's right, B.O.B.
而那里会有糖果，点心还有气球 And there'll be candy and cake and balloons.
午餐吃点心和气球？那就会是 最棒的一天了！我爱你们大家！ Oake and balloons for lunch?! It's gonna be the best day ever! I love you guys!
以史蒂芬·霍金的椅子之名 By Hawking's chair!
完全毁灭时限为T-30秒 Total annihilation in T-minus 30 seconds.
- 蒙哥在哪儿？ - 他应该到了啊 - Where's Monger?! - He's supposed to be here!
他说过他来不了的唯一原因 就是他牺牲了 He said the only reason he wouldn't be here is if he was dead!
或迟到了！ Or late!
虫虫怪？你还活着！ Insectosaurus?! You're alive!
而且你变成了...蝴蝶！ And you're a... butterfly!
8... Eight...
...7... ...seven...
...6... ...six...
...5... ...five...
...4... ...four...
- 3...2... - 快啊，快啊 ...three... two... - Oome on, come on!
...1 ...one.
什么事都没有，或许我的计时有... Nothing happened. Maybe my count was...
他们在那儿！ There they are!
他们来了！ Here they come!
好啊！ Yeah!
这可好 Oh, great.
老天 Oh, boy.
- 小苏珊！ - 爸！ - Susie Q! - Daddy!
苏珊，从你小时候起 我就知道总有一天... Oh, Susan. Ever since you were a baby, I knew that someday...
...你会，你知道的 把地球从外太空入侵里解救出来 ...you would, you know, save the Earth from an invasion from outer space.
谢谢你，但这不是 我一个人的功劳，妈 Thank you, but it wasn'tjust me, Mom.
借过！劳驾！我要过去！你好啊 Excuse me! Hello! Ooming through! How are you?
- 苏珊！ - 德里克！ - Susan! - Derek?
宝贝，我努力想了很久 我们之间的事情 Baby, I thought long and hard about what happened between us.
而我希望你知道... And I want you to know...
...我原谅你了 ...I forgive you.
你原谅我了？ You forgive me?
当然啦，被陨石击中然后毁了一切 并不是你的错 Of course. It wasn't your fault you got hit by a meteor and ruined everything.
你知道吗？ And you know what?
我觉得或许你并没有毁了一切 我刚接到纽约来的电话 I say maybe you didn't ruin everything. I just got a call from New York.
他们为我提供了电视网的工作 They offered me network.
我需要做的就是对你作独家采访 All I have to do is get an exclusive interview from you.
- 真的？ - 没错 - Really? - Yeah.
我得到了梦寐以求的工作 你得到了梦寐以求的小伙 I get my dream job and you get your dream guy.
这对迪特尔团队来说是双赢啊 It's a win-win for Team Dietl.
德里克... Derek...
这太棒了 ...that's amazing.
- 摄影机在拍吗？ - 当然了 - Is the camera rolling? - Absolutely.
好极了，因为我可不想 你的粉丝们错过这个 Good. Because I wouldn't want your fans to miss this.
我是苏珊·墨菲，我要说的是... This is Susan Murphy, saying,
“再你的见，德里克！” "Goodbye, Derek!"
鲍勃，你能？ B.O.B., could you?
德里克，你是一个自私的混蛋 知道吗？ Derek, you are a selfish jerk, and guess what?
我遇见别人了 她是石灰绿色的 I've met someone else. She's lime green.
她身上有14块小菠萝 She has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside her,
而且她就是我这辈子应得的一切 and she's everything I deserve in life!
我现在很幸福，德里克，没有你！ I'm happy now, Derek, without you!
我们完了！ It's over!
关掉它！ Turn it off.
怪物们，我为你们骄傲得要掉眼泪了 Monsters, I'm so proud of you, I could cry,
如果我不是在战争中没了泪腺的话 if I hadn't lost my tear ducts in the war.
就算不哭也不能耽搁了 世界再次需要你们 But not crying will have to wait. The world needs you again.
是什么事，将军？ What is it, General?
据说一只蜗牛曾失足坠落到 一个法国核反应堆里 Seems a snail fell into a French nuclear reactor.
而就在此时，巨型蜗牛怪... As we speak, Escargantua
...正在缓慢地向巴黎行进 is slowly making its way to Paris.
好吧，我一直都想去巴黎的 谁要和我一起？ Well, I've always wanted to go to Paris. Now who's with me?
你怎么说，蝴蝶...怪？ What do you say, Butterfly... osaurus?
我们入伙！ We're in.
- 我也加入！ - 算我一个！ - I'm in! - Oount me in, too.
再会了！宝贝！ Au revoir, sweetie!
- 一路顺风！ - 对！还要抓牢！ - Have a safe flight! - Yeah, and hang on!
别了，德里克！分手好运了！ Goodbye, Derek! Good luck getting over me.
鲍勃，和他分手的人是我 B.O.B., it's me he's never going to get over.
等等，等等！ 你也在和德里克约会吗？ Wait, wait! You were dating Derek too?!
这劈腿的混蛋！ That two-timing jerk!
(不要走开，后面还有)
大家伙，我们欢迎 我的参谋首长联席会议新主席 Everyone, let's welcome my new chairman of the Joint Ohiefs of Staff,
W·R·蒙哥将军！ General W.R. Monger!
谢谢，总统先生 真是个好方式来庆祝我的90岁生日 Thank you, Mr. President. What a great way to celebrate my 90th birthday.
好极了，沃仁，好了 Very good, Warren. All right.
让我们这就开始吧，内德？ Let's get it started in here Nerd?
先生们，我已经召集人员 对旧金山的重建... Gentlemen, I have assembled a preliminary budget estimate
...作了初步的预算评估 for the rebuilding of San Francisco.
我的天，这东西肯定很无聊 Zoinkers. This is going to be a boring one.
是时候来杯好喝的了 沃仁，你要怎么享受？ Good time for a cup ofjoe. Warren, how do you take it?
给我来个二品脱有机核仁巧克力... Hit me with a double venti organic chocolate brownie
...含糖卡布奇诺，超热 外加一英寸泡沫... caramel Frappuccino, extra hot, with one inch of foam...
- ...低脂的 - 这就来！就是黑咖啡 ...non-fat. - You got it! Black it is.
别这么干！ Don't do it!
等等！ Wait!
我的天，老兄！你都干了什么？ My God, man! What have you done?!
是时候挥白旗并进入我们的地堡了 伙计们 Time to wave the white flag and head for the bunker.
500年后再回来看看情况吧 Let's check on the situation in 500 years.
谁来冷冻我的脑袋？ Who wants to freeze my head?
本字幕由落雨秋枫制作