1 00:00:01,792 --> 00:00:05,805 Root beer, I admire your style. 2 00:00:06,079 --> 00:00:08,355 If you can't eat it or hump it, you pee on it. 3 00:00:09,707 --> 00:00:11,580 We're not that different, you and me. 4 00:00:13,362 --> 00:00:14,732 Hey, Rutty. 5 00:00:14,855 --> 00:00:17,426 Stick out your jaw if you love me. 6 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,453 Yes, you do. 7 00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,338 Hey, great news-- 8 00:00:21,339 --> 00:00:22,923 I just spoke to my editor, 9 00:00:22,924 --> 00:00:24,591 And they found bedbugs in the office. 10 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,493 So they're closing the paper down for the day. 11 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:29,463 - Isn't that great? - What's that got to do with me? 12 00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,848 Well, I was thinking that since I have the day off, 13 00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:35,352 - You and I can spend-- - Can't. Busy. 14 00:00:35,353 --> 00:00:37,037 What was the question? 15 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,189 I said do you want to spend the day together? 16 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,141 Can't. Busy. 17 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,809 Doing what? It's 9:00 a.M. 18 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,145 You already yelled at everything you're gonna yell at for today. 19 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,180 What else is left? 20 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:51,351 I'm going down to authentic carl's. 21 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:52,519 The sports-memorabilia place 22 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,887 Where you got your steve garvey bat? 23 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:55,055 That's right. 24 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,691 The bat he used that night he hit for the cycle. 25 00:00:57,692 --> 00:00:59,860 Garvey never hit for the cycle with the padres. 26 00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:01,161 Not the baseball cycle. 27 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:05,332 After the game at a motel near the stadium... 28 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,902 Garvey allegedly banged a brunette, a blond, 29 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,587 A redhead, and a twin-- 30 00:01:10,588 --> 00:01:12,939 That cycle. 31 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,642 And the bat is the one he gave to the motel manager 32 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:19,479 So he wouldn't tell his first wife. 33 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:24,017 Anyway, I have ordered a ball that was used in the last game 34 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:27,354 That the cincinnati reds played at crosley field. 35 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:29,239 And authentic carl is holding it for me. 36 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:33,193 Uh, dad, um, I moved back here so I can get to know you better, 37 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,529 So you and I can get closer. 38 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:38,999 Well, I'm glad we didn't. You're covered in crabs. 39 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,967 Why don't you go and pick up that ball tomorrow? 40 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,370 And maybe today you and I can spend some time together, 41 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,504 Do a father-son activity. 42 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,756 Hey, why don't we go to the racetrack? 43 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,708 I am going down to pick up my ball. 44 00:01:47,709 --> 00:01:49,242 If you want to come down and watch me do it, 45 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,444 That's up to you. 46 00:01:50,445 --> 00:01:53,213 Only if I get to chip in for gas, dad. 47 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:57,751 Oh, great, now he wants to ride in the same car. 48 00:01:57,752 --> 00:02:00,520 Hi, dad. 49 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,689 What the hell do you want? 50 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,726 Well, bonnie's ovulating, 51 00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,394 And we're trying to make a baby. 52 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:09,262 So if you need to come into our room 53 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,831 In the middle of the night to get something, 54 00:02:10,832 --> 00:02:12,165 Maybe you could-- I don't know-- 55 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:15,402 Knock or, uh, not flip on the lights 56 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:19,740 Or perhaps not shout out, "the horror, the horror." 57 00:02:19,741 --> 00:02:21,875 Not happening. 58 00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:23,744 Okeydoke. 59 00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:25,078 Hey, why are you smiling? 60 00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:26,813 Well, we're seeing a new fertility specialist 61 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,315 Who says that since there's nothing wrong 62 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:31,451 With bonnie's ova or my sperms 63 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,020 That perhaps we should try staying more positive 64 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,890 As it may affect our ability to conceive. 65 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:40,761 So that's what we're doing. 66 00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:41,962 Sounds stupid. 67 00:02:41,963 --> 00:02:44,698 Fair enough. 68 00:02:44,699 --> 00:02:48,134 Ed, ed, ed, I love that you feel comfortable enough 69 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:51,638 To come into our room at night looking for an old life magazine 70 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,774 And then taking that life magazine 71 00:02:53,775 --> 00:02:54,841 Into the bathroom, 72 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,077 Which is a mere four feet from my head. 73 00:02:57,078 --> 00:03:00,647 But if there's any way you could close the door next time, 74 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:03,750 That would be super, okay? 75 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,153 Thanks, doll! 76 00:03:06,154 --> 00:03:08,288 Why the hell would you want to have a child now? 77 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,357 You're just starting to get your business off the ground. 78 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,758 If not now, when? 79 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:15,095 I mean, there's no perfect time to have a baby, right, ed? 80 00:03:15,096 --> 00:03:18,348 Bing! Oh! 81 00:03:18,349 --> 00:03:21,768 Ed, ed, ed, you are, gosh, a delight. 82 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,603 But is there any room in the house 83 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,856 That you won't walk in on us when we're trying to conceive 84 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,207 Your grandchild? 85 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,359 Well, there is one. 86 00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:32,646 The garage? 87 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:35,081 You--you want us to live in the garage? 88 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,883 Bingo! 89 00:03:39,058 --> 00:03:49,096 Sync by United www.addic7ed.com 90 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,634 I'm just saying you should be more careful, dad. 91 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,086 You almost hit that pedestrian. 92 00:03:56,087 --> 00:04:00,307 Guy was in a wheelchair. That's a vehicle. 93 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:01,775 Hey. 94 00:04:01,776 --> 00:04:04,711 - Dr. Goodson. - Authentic carl. 95 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,147 Henry, this is authentic carl. 96 00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:09,850 - Look, it's coming in, huh? - Yeah, yeah. 97 00:04:09,851 --> 00:04:11,151 Yeah, it's coming in. 98 00:04:11,152 --> 00:04:14,354 Authentic carl's my good friend, my confidant. 99 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,889 I tell him everything. 100 00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:17,390 Hey, I'm henry. 101 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,961 And, uh, how do you know ed? 102 00:04:20,962 --> 00:04:22,162 I'm his son. 103 00:04:22,163 --> 00:04:25,131 I didn't know you had a son. 104 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,068 Hey, how is root beer, by the way? 105 00:04:28,069 --> 00:04:29,903 Oh, so cute. 106 00:04:29,904 --> 00:04:32,439 They grow up so fast. 107 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,975 So you got my ball? 108 00:04:34,976 --> 00:04:38,278 Ah. Ha ha. Yes. About that... 109 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,379 I got some good news. 110 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,847 It came in this morning, 111 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:43,049 Amazing condition. 112 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,285 Turns out this ball is worth twice 113 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:47,470 What you were gonna pay for it. 114 00:04:47,471 --> 00:04:49,222 Good news is I got a great deal. 115 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,258 No, the good news is I sold it for four times 116 00:04:51,259 --> 00:04:52,826 What you were going to pay. 117 00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:55,629 But, carl, you were going to hold that ball for me. 118 00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,097 We had a verbal agreement. 119 00:04:57,098 --> 00:04:59,399 You can't sell that ball to the highest bidder. 120 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,953 It's not your sister's virginity. 121 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,873 Ed, I'm sorry. I have a living to make here. 122 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,575 We've known each other 20 years. 123 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:12,012 20 years? My name doesn't come up once? 124 00:05:12,013 --> 00:05:14,047 You can't go back on something like that? 125 00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:15,115 Where's your honor? 126 00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:17,083 Ed, I'm 50. 127 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:22,589 I sell sports memorabilia and breed iguanas. 128 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,758 I said good-bye to my honor the first time I signed 129 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,693 Babe ruth's name on a beanie baby 130 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,963 And sold it to some idiot kid. 131 00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:33,934 So do you know the name of the guy who bought the ball? 132 00:05:33,935 --> 00:05:35,035 Of course I do. 133 00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:36,937 I write down the names of all my customers. 134 00:05:36,938 --> 00:05:38,738 - Where? - In this ledger. 135 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,139 It's also where I keep my license 136 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,343 To distribute medical marijuana. 137 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,378 So do me a favor, will you? 138 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,214 Tell me how I can get in touch with the guy who bought my ball 139 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,816 So I can buy it back from him. 140 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,419 Ed, I cannot give out customer information. 141 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,422 - I have integrity. - But no honor. 142 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:58,825 I can make the distinction. 143 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,328 That's how I can sleep at night... 144 00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:04,064 That and my medical marijuana. 145 00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,834 Oh, uh, ed, I've got a customer 146 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,103 I have to look after here. 147 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:15,141 I think his glaucoma is kicking in. 148 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,810 [buzzer sounds] 149 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:19,179 Well, hey, look at that. Your day opened up. 150 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,614 Any chance I can get you down to the track? 151 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,884 Not likely. I want that ball. 152 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,252 Aren't we finished here, dad? 153 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,787 I'm going to tell you the same thing I told 154 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,055 The blind masseuse. 155 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:32,425 Trust me. You'll know when I'm finished. 156 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,937 Honey, look at this. Look at this. 157 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:48,925 It's my beanie baby signed by babe ruth. 158 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,361 Very rare. 159 00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:55,631 Honey, when did babe ruth die? 160 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,834 Uh, buh, buh, buh, 1948. Why? 161 00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,869 No reason. 162 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,955 [sighs] you know what? 163 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,807 I think we're going to be happy living here. 164 00:07:04,808 --> 00:07:06,509 Oh, we're going to be so happy. 165 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,261 I'm going to turn this musty old garage 166 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,079 Into our enchanted cottage. 167 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,414 We'll put our bed right over here by the paint cans. 168 00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:14,083 Yeah. Hey, we can put our wedding pictures 169 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:15,384 Right over there on that shelf 170 00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:19,822 Where those ants are devouring that bird carcass. 171 00:07:19,823 --> 00:07:22,558 Yeah, there'll be flowers everywhere 172 00:07:22,559 --> 00:07:24,193 Instead of rat droppings 173 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,528 And... 174 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,763 Cricket husks. 175 00:07:27,764 --> 00:07:29,365 Hey, we'll give our baby a bath 176 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,200 Right over there in that sink 177 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,570 That looks like it was used in the movie Saw. 178 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,941 Honey, our baby-- can you even imagine? 179 00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:41,327 Yeah. No, we're really going to raise a family here. 180 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,330 I know it's not much-- oh, my god, what's in that pail? 181 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,581 You know what? I don't know. 182 00:07:45,582 --> 00:07:47,083 That--that has been there since I was a kid, 183 00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:49,352 And it never quite seems to dry-- 184 00:07:49,353 --> 00:07:53,472 [gags] 185 00:07:56,093 --> 00:07:58,144 Come on, let's get out of here--let's go do something fun. 186 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,845 Henry, if I wanted to do something fun, 187 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:04,901 I'd have gone to tijuana with $18 in quarters. 188 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:08,170 Now, I figured out a plan... 189 00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:10,006 To get my ball back. 190 00:08:10,007 --> 00:08:12,675 - And why do you need me? - It's a two-man job. 191 00:08:12,676 --> 00:08:16,045 And since I don't have another man, I'm asking you. 192 00:08:16,046 --> 00:08:17,546 Why is this ball so important to you? 193 00:08:17,547 --> 00:08:20,449 Because I'm sentimental, dummy. 194 00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:22,585 I need you to distract carl. 195 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,954 While you're doing that, I'm going to quietly 196 00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:27,356 And gracefully leap over this counter 197 00:08:27,357 --> 00:08:29,158 And grab that ledger. 198 00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:31,794 Are you sure? This counter's kind of high. 199 00:08:31,795 --> 00:08:35,064 You pulled a hammy tying your shoe the other day. 200 00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:37,266 You wanted to come with me? This is what I do. 201 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,368 Now, are you in, or are you out? 202 00:08:39,369 --> 00:08:40,703 Fine. 203 00:08:40,704 --> 00:08:43,806 Make it quick. 204 00:08:43,807 --> 00:08:45,408 - Hey, carl. - Hey. 205 00:08:45,409 --> 00:08:47,677 - Is that a tony gwynn jersey? - Yeah. 206 00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:49,862 What's up with that? 207 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,648 It's a tony gwynn jersey... 208 00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:55,751 One-of-a-kind, most expensive thing in my shop, 209 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:58,154 Except for those extremely rare commemorative plates 210 00:08:58,155 --> 00:09:00,139 I have over on the counter. 211 00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:07,330 So do you have any of those jerseys in the back? 212 00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:10,499 I just said it's one-of-a-kind. 213 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,970 Okay, I'll go check. 214 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:16,172 [snaps fingers] 215 00:09:16,173 --> 00:09:19,241 [plates shattering] 216 00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,145 Yeah. Here we go. 217 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,982 Hey, carl, you know what? I changed my mind. 218 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,284 I'm looking for a hat. 219 00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:29,518 Oh, the hats are right here. 220 00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:31,187 What about a bobblehead doll? 221 00:09:31,188 --> 00:09:32,822 Bobblehead dolls are next to the hats. 222 00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:34,590 What do you got in the back, carl? 223 00:09:34,591 --> 00:09:36,959 - Baseball cards. - Do you have an '86 buckner? 224 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,296 There is only one in all of san diego, 225 00:09:40,297 --> 00:09:41,530 And I have it. 226 00:09:41,531 --> 00:09:42,665 Oh. 227 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,101 - I'll take three. - Coming right up. 228 00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:09,592 Got it. Let's go. 229 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,178 You carry military-grade surveillance binoculars 230 00:10:20,179 --> 00:10:22,180 In your car? 231 00:10:22,181 --> 00:10:25,650 Yep. 232 00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:29,387 - Want to elaborate on that? - Nope. 233 00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:30,956 So we're just going to sit here in the car 234 00:10:30,957 --> 00:10:33,658 Until that guy with the cincinnati baseball comes home? 235 00:10:33,659 --> 00:10:35,760 Yep. 236 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:38,263 Great conversation, dad. 237 00:10:39,899 --> 00:10:41,466 What do you want, henry? 238 00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:42,667 Well, for starters, 239 00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:45,003 Why are you so sentimental about this baseball? 240 00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:47,605 I want the baseball 'cause I-I love baseball. 241 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,240 My dad used to take me 242 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:50,709 To watch the reds game every Saturday. 243 00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:54,579 There, we bonded. So that's it. 244 00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:57,649 Congratulations. You're my new bff. 245 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:02,087 I mean, see, you did stuff with your dad. 246 00:11:02,088 --> 00:11:05,023 - He took you to the stadium. - No. 247 00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:06,791 I was nine years old. 248 00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,660 You don't take a nine-year-old to the stadium 249 00:11:08,661 --> 00:11:11,229 Where grown men are drinking and smoking. 250 00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:13,365 He took me to a bar. 251 00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:17,335 And we watched it on the only television in town. 252 00:11:17,336 --> 00:11:19,270 Okay, but you hung out. You talked. 253 00:11:19,271 --> 00:11:20,638 We didn't talk. Didn't have to talk. 254 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,074 My father and I, we had a great relationship... 255 00:11:23,075 --> 00:11:25,777 Hardly ever spoke. 256 00:11:25,778 --> 00:11:27,395 Don't need to chatter, chatter, chatter 257 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,780 Just to know someone. 258 00:11:28,781 --> 00:11:30,849 So you'd watch an entire baseball game in silence? 259 00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:33,184 He--he didn't watch the game at all. 260 00:11:33,185 --> 00:11:37,222 He'd drive me to mcgill's tavern 261 00:11:37,223 --> 00:11:40,492 And, uh, set me up with a bowl of pickled eggs. 262 00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:43,795 Then he'd, uh, turn on the reds game, 263 00:11:43,796 --> 00:11:46,092 And then he'd take care of business. 264 00:11:46,093 --> 00:11:48,094 What kind of business would your father have in a bar? 265 00:11:48,095 --> 00:11:49,095 He was a farmer. 266 00:11:49,096 --> 00:11:50,196 Well, he'd go upstairs 267 00:11:50,197 --> 00:11:52,732 With mrs. Mcgill and help her with her taxes. 268 00:11:54,868 --> 00:11:56,869 Your dad would help someone with their taxes? 269 00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:59,472 He paid for things in goat's milk. 270 00:11:59,473 --> 00:12:00,773 I don't know. 271 00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:03,376 I guess he was good with numbers. 272 00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:05,144 Did your mom know about this? 273 00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:07,613 No. Jeez. 274 00:12:07,614 --> 00:12:12,084 That's why my dad called it "our little secret." 275 00:12:12,085 --> 00:12:16,756 Oh, my mom would've raised hell if she'd known I was at a bar. 276 00:12:16,757 --> 00:12:19,959 So your dad would leave you alone in a bar 277 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,927 And then go upstairs with a strange woman 278 00:12:21,928 --> 00:12:23,129 For an entire baseball game? 279 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:24,330 No, no, no. 280 00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:27,033 He would come down every three innings or so 281 00:12:27,034 --> 00:12:28,367 And check on me 282 00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:32,038 And grab a cigarette, and then he'd go back upstairs. 283 00:12:32,039 --> 00:12:34,507 And she needed help with her taxes every Saturday? 284 00:12:34,508 --> 00:12:37,209 That's right. You got to stay on top of these things. 285 00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:40,579 I think he wanted to stay on top of mrs. Mcgill. 286 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,381 What the hell are you talking about? 287 00:12:42,382 --> 00:12:46,252 It just seems pretty obvious what was going on there, dad. 288 00:12:46,253 --> 00:12:47,787 Come on, you never thought of that? 289 00:12:47,788 --> 00:12:48,854 No, I never thought of it, 290 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,322 Because there's nothing to think about. 291 00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,625 It was a great memory. 292 00:12:52,626 --> 00:12:55,761 Me driving home with my tummy filled 293 00:12:55,762 --> 00:12:57,530 With pickled eggs... 294 00:12:57,531 --> 00:13:02,001 And him with a smile on his face. 295 00:13:02,002 --> 00:13:07,073 And as the blind masseuse said, that's the end of that. 296 00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:14,780 - Hi. - Hey. 297 00:13:14,781 --> 00:13:18,067 I got you coffee and a dozen doughnuts... 298 00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:20,786 Minus 11 doughnuts. 299 00:13:20,787 --> 00:13:23,572 Wow. You did a lot of work while I was gone. 300 00:13:23,573 --> 00:13:24,657 The place looks-- 301 00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:26,125 Like we're starting a side business 302 00:13:26,126 --> 00:13:30,062 Selling crystal meth? 303 00:13:30,063 --> 00:13:32,798 I was gonna say "great," but okay. 304 00:13:32,799 --> 00:13:34,834 Honey, I just--I don't think it's the right time 305 00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:36,001 To have a baby. 306 00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:38,170 Come on, bonnie, what about being positive? 307 00:13:38,171 --> 00:13:39,505 I know. It's just we're trying 308 00:13:39,506 --> 00:13:41,173 To get our real-estate business off the ground, 309 00:13:41,174 --> 00:13:42,558 And we don't have a lot of savings, 310 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,209 And the garage is so dirty, 311 00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:47,563 Your dad won't even park his car in it. 312 00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:49,248 I just don't think this is the right situation 313 00:13:49,249 --> 00:13:51,450 - To bring a kid into. - Well, if not now, when? 314 00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:52,618 I don't know. 315 00:13:52,619 --> 00:13:55,104 But we'll know when the time is right. 316 00:13:55,105 --> 00:13:57,690 - Come here. - Okay. 317 00:13:57,691 --> 00:14:00,659 Oh, my god. I think the bucket just burped. 318 00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,394 Honey, don't call it that. 319 00:14:02,395 --> 00:14:05,631 That's where the baby's gonna come from. 320 00:14:05,632 --> 00:14:07,933 No, no, the--the bucket, 321 00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,535 The always-wet bucket. 322 00:14:09,536 --> 00:14:11,904 Oh, I am so sorry. Oh. 323 00:14:11,905 --> 00:14:13,205 I'm just saying, 324 00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:15,007 Even if your father was an accountant 325 00:14:15,008 --> 00:14:16,642 And not an illiterate tobacco farmer, 326 00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:18,144 She wouldn't have needed that much help. 327 00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:19,778 She needed help with her taxes, 328 00:14:19,779 --> 00:14:21,247 And that's the end of the story. 329 00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:24,550 - Okay. - [sighs] 330 00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,952 'cause if you want to talk about it, I think it could help. 331 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,087 I don't think it'll help 332 00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:29,655 'cause I don't want to talk about it. 333 00:14:29,656 --> 00:14:31,290 Okay. 334 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,993 You know, because sometimes if you don't deal with something, 335 00:14:33,994 --> 00:14:36,695 - It can build up-- - I can see him now. 336 00:14:36,696 --> 00:14:39,398 Wait. Are you having a flashback about your dad? 337 00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:41,233 No, moron, the guy with the ball. 338 00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,435 I can see him now. Let's move. 339 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:59,318 Why can't you just walk around anything? 340 00:15:05,759 --> 00:15:09,061 Well, the good news is that your father won't walk 341 00:15:09,062 --> 00:15:11,430 Through our room anymore going to the bathroom. 342 00:15:11,431 --> 00:15:15,034 The bad news is it's because we don't have a bathroom. 343 00:15:15,035 --> 00:15:16,652 The worst news is that might be a clue 344 00:15:16,653 --> 00:15:19,705 As to what the bucket was for. 345 00:15:19,706 --> 00:15:22,474 Oh, wow, honey, my baby stuff. 346 00:15:22,475 --> 00:15:24,743 - Check this out. - Aw. 347 00:15:24,744 --> 00:15:26,278 Oh, look at this. 348 00:15:26,279 --> 00:15:29,014 This is the onesie I was wearing the day they brought me home 349 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:33,385 From the hospital. 350 00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,154 Wow. How big were you? 351 00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:38,257 8 pounds, 96 ounces. 352 00:15:38,258 --> 00:15:39,458 Wow. Look at this. 353 00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,760 These are some of my toys from when I was a kid. 354 00:15:41,761 --> 00:15:44,296 Whoa, whoa. Steak knife? 355 00:15:44,297 --> 00:15:45,497 No, no, that's my pirate sword. 356 00:15:45,498 --> 00:15:47,933 My dad got me that for my sixth birthday. 357 00:15:47,934 --> 00:15:50,836 It says "black angus" on it. 358 00:15:50,837 --> 00:15:53,439 That was my pirate name. 359 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,809 Oh, no way, mr. Block. 360 00:15:56,810 --> 00:16:00,512 Oh, honey, the adventures that me and mr. Block used to go on. 361 00:16:00,513 --> 00:16:02,031 And what's this, uh-- 362 00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:03,882 What's this surgical glove stuffed with sand? 363 00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:06,068 Uh-oh, watch out. That's mr. Chicken. 364 00:16:06,069 --> 00:16:08,420 He's got quite a mouth on him. 365 00:16:08,421 --> 00:16:10,823 [deep voice] yeah, I'd like to get my mouth on her. 366 00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:13,325 [normal voice] mr. Chicken, not now. 367 00:16:13,326 --> 00:16:14,793 So sorry, bonnie. 368 00:16:14,794 --> 00:16:16,929 This really brings back some good memories. 369 00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:20,332 Of what? Visits from the child protective agency? 370 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,867 No. I had fun when I was a kid. 371 00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:23,902 I made do with what I had. 372 00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:26,038 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 373 00:16:26,039 --> 00:16:28,307 I mean, you know, my parents used to fight all the time. 374 00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:30,075 But it's okay, 'cause I had these toys. 375 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,560 Mr. Chicken used to say things to them 376 00:16:31,561 --> 00:16:34,046 That I wish I could, but couldn't. 377 00:16:34,047 --> 00:16:37,900 - Like your own mr. Hyde. - No. No, no, no. 378 00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:41,854 - This is mr. Hide. - Oh. 379 00:16:41,855 --> 00:16:43,789 Mr. Hide is a confirmed bachelor. 380 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:46,158 [deep voice] that's because he's gay. 381 00:16:46,159 --> 00:16:48,260 [normal voice] mr. Chicken, you don't know that. 382 00:16:48,261 --> 00:16:51,730 [deep voice] yes, I do. Saw him at a leather bar. 383 00:16:56,402 --> 00:16:59,038 Nothing gets you down, black angus. 384 00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:01,607 [normal voice] no. Not much. 385 00:17:01,608 --> 00:17:05,044 You know what? 386 00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:08,047 It's the right time. 387 00:17:08,048 --> 00:17:11,249 - For what? - To have a baby. 388 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:15,420 I mean, if you can stay positive through that childhood, 389 00:17:15,421 --> 00:17:16,689 Then... 390 00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:18,390 I want you to be the father of my child, 391 00:17:18,391 --> 00:17:20,759 And I don't want to wait until it's too late. 392 00:17:22,261 --> 00:17:24,313 I love you so much, bonnie. 393 00:17:24,314 --> 00:17:26,431 I love you too. 394 00:17:26,432 --> 00:17:28,150 But this--this garage, I-I can't. 395 00:17:28,151 --> 00:17:29,702 We're just gonna have to move back upstairs 396 00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:31,820 And get a lock for the door-- I hope you're okay with that. 397 00:17:31,821 --> 00:17:32,821 That's fine with me. 398 00:17:32,822 --> 00:17:34,106 [deep voice] but, you know, 399 00:17:34,107 --> 00:17:36,275 Since we already have the air mattress blown up, 400 00:17:36,276 --> 00:17:38,460 We might as well use it. 401 00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:41,446 I like the way you think, mr. Chicken. 402 00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:42,631 All right, threesome. 403 00:17:42,632 --> 00:17:44,783 Out of my way, giant baby. I get the front. 404 00:17:44,784 --> 00:17:47,553 [normal voice] mr. Chicken, too far. 405 00:17:47,554 --> 00:17:49,471 Put him down. Put him down. 406 00:17:49,472 --> 00:17:50,889 Put him down. Put him down. 407 00:17:50,890 --> 00:17:53,459 You know perfectly well that ball is rightfully mine. 408 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:55,227 So stop acting like a child and give it back to me. 409 00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:58,564 - But I bought it. - But I reserved it. 410 00:17:58,565 --> 00:18:00,632 Sir, the guy sold my son the ball. 411 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:01,834 That's not my son's problem. 412 00:18:01,835 --> 00:18:03,769 You were there. You saw I reserved it. 413 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:04,937 Actually, I wasn't. 414 00:18:04,938 --> 00:18:06,205 Where'd he get the money? 415 00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:08,374 That's an expensive ball. It didn't cost $4. 416 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:10,909 It's not a blind masseuse from thailand. 417 00:18:12,412 --> 00:18:14,079 I'm not sure what that means. 418 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,481 Bob, I thought you said you were taking timmy 419 00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:17,683 To the card shop. 420 00:18:17,684 --> 00:18:18,951 I did. I dropped him off. 421 00:18:18,952 --> 00:18:21,653 And then I-I had... An errand to do. 422 00:18:21,654 --> 00:18:23,155 Yeah. Daddy drops me off every Sunday. 423 00:18:23,156 --> 00:18:25,257 He dropped you off? 424 00:18:25,258 --> 00:18:27,159 Mary, I have a good reason. 425 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,561 Well, what's going on, bob? Where'd you go? What'd you do? 426 00:18:29,562 --> 00:18:33,399 I'll tell you where he went. 427 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,435 Upstairs in a tavern banging some barmaid. 428 00:18:38,538 --> 00:18:39,938 Dad, they don't know that story. 429 00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:42,024 I was not banging a barmaid! 430 00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:45,711 Timmy, "banging" is hugging someone really fast. 431 00:18:46,946 --> 00:18:48,847 I was not banging anyone! 432 00:18:48,848 --> 00:18:50,215 Okay, well, where were you, bob? 433 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,750 Yeah, bob. Where were you, bob? 434 00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:53,685 I don't want to talk about this in front of my wife. 435 00:18:53,686 --> 00:18:55,454 Well, we're going to talk about it, bob. 436 00:18:55,455 --> 00:18:57,573 Yeah, where were you, bob? 437 00:18:57,574 --> 00:18:59,875 Fine. I was gonna wait till our actual anniversary. 438 00:18:59,876 --> 00:19:01,326 But I picked up an extra shift 439 00:19:01,327 --> 00:19:03,695 So I could pay for us to go on a cruise. 440 00:19:03,696 --> 00:19:06,265 Oh, bob. 441 00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:08,367 You sick son of a bitch! 442 00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:12,438 - Okay, dad, time to go. - Yeah. 443 00:19:12,439 --> 00:19:16,275 That's right, bob. I'm gonna keep my eye on you. 444 00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:18,977 Spend some time with your son, bob. 445 00:19:18,978 --> 00:19:23,382 - Dad, let's go. - Mom really trusted you, bob. 446 00:19:31,090 --> 00:19:33,091 Well, here we are. 447 00:19:33,092 --> 00:19:37,529 Okay, what do you feel like for dinner? 448 00:19:37,530 --> 00:19:38,797 Really? 449 00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:41,032 We're not gonna talk about what just happened? 450 00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:42,801 No, we're not. 451 00:19:42,802 --> 00:19:44,202 You know what, dad? Never mind. 452 00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:46,671 Well, hold on. H-h-hold on just a second. 453 00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:51,610 My father was a-a very complicated man. 454 00:19:51,611 --> 00:19:55,046 There weren't many farmers who could do taxes. 455 00:19:55,047 --> 00:19:56,982 That's what you're taking away from this? 456 00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:59,918 We're not going to talk about my father, okay? 457 00:19:59,919 --> 00:20:03,655 But it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world if... 458 00:20:03,656 --> 00:20:06,625 You and I spent some time together 459 00:20:06,626 --> 00:20:09,628 And shot the breeze once in a while. 460 00:20:11,831 --> 00:20:14,666 I'd like that. 461 00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:17,802 You know, it was-- it was kind of fun 462 00:20:17,803 --> 00:20:19,137 Hanging out with you today, 463 00:20:19,138 --> 00:20:21,039 Even though you did traumatize a child, 464 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,674 You ruined an anniversary, 465 00:20:22,675 --> 00:20:26,511 And broke thousands of dollars of memorabilia. 466 00:20:28,247 --> 00:20:29,781 It was kind of fun. 467 00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:33,652 [sighs] oh, crap. 468 00:20:33,653 --> 00:20:36,955 - I forgot my house key. - It's all right, dad. 469 00:20:36,956 --> 00:20:39,924 We'll just go through the garage. 470 00:20:39,925 --> 00:20:41,393 - Aaah! - Oh, my god, dad! 471 00:20:41,394 --> 00:20:42,794 Close the door! Close the door! 472 00:20:42,795 --> 00:20:45,196 Vince! Bonnie! 473 00:20:45,197 --> 00:20:47,746 Mr. Chicken! 474 00:20:48,321 --> 00:20:51,344 Sync by United www.addic7ed.com