Hey, what're we doing here?
They're giving that car away? That thing's sweet.
Janie's birthday party starts in 10 minutes.
I know, but this'll just take a couple of seconds.
- Larry. - Oh, come on, it'll be awesome.
(SPUTTERING)
Hey, I'll meet you up at the raffle table.
Larry.
It's hard to believe,
but you're even more beautiful when you're angry.
- Hello, Brooke. (CHUCKLES)
Hello, Beauregard. Nice to find you here.
My family's auto dealership is sponsoring this raffle.
You know, we're giving away a pretty nice car.
Hank, come on.
- Hurry up, Ernie. - ERNIE: Go in.
Would you mind putting these in, dear? Thanks.
Good luck, lady.
I cannot believe you're still with Larry Guthrie.
Yep, but if he doesn't drive me to my niece's birthday party
in the next (LOUDLY) two minutes,
- all bets are off. - Really?
- Hey, do you mind if... Oh. - Back off.
Why don't you give me a call if you need a car or...
Or anything else.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
Welcome, everybody.
Who wants to win a car?
Dude, the dream car of all cars.
Let's find out
- who that lucky bowler is going to be. - Us!
Please.
Our lucky bowler is...
Larry Guthrie!
- All right, Larry! Yeah! - You gotta be kidding me!
(ERNIE WHOOPING)
High-five mine! High-five mine! Peanut butter! Peanut butter!
(WHOOPING)
Honey, how cool is this? It's like winning an Oscar.
You promised me you would go to Janie's party.
But she's one year old. She ain't gonna know I'm there.
It's not about the party, it's about you keeping your promises.
If there's one thing that little kid'll like, it'd be knowing I won that muscle car.
You just don't get it, do you?
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Larry Guthrie.
Honey. Honey, come on.
Hey, baby, it is a Camaro.
Let's bowl.
All Larry has to do is make the famed 7-10 split.
Can he do it?
Let's see what you got.
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
You still have two chances left.
Larry, that was so, so close.
But, hey, no pressure at all. You still have one chance left.
HANK: He's way too tight.
We've got to calm him down.
Time out. I need some nachos, pronto!
- Chow down, buddy. - HANK: Munch them down. Go, boy!
- You feel good? (MUFFLED) Yeah
Larry, hey, hey, hey, we don't have all day, all right?
That's what I needed. Nachos.
It's like a B12 shot.
- HANK: Go for it, Larry! Go! - Let's do this!
I got it! Yeah, yeah, I got it! Now I'm good. Now I'm ready.
All right, Brooke. This one's for you.
(GRUNTS)
(SCOFFS)
(YELLING)
Hey, why don't you stop fiddling with your own car,
come over here and try and work on somebody else's?
(HORN BLARES)
All right, I'm coming.
(SIGHS)
For Pete's sake, you guys. All right, now try it.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(CHUCKLING) Who's the man?
Hey, let me see that sports page.
He's gonna find out sooner or later.
Find out what?
Hank, I tell you what, you are a bad poker player.
I thought it... (SIGHS)
You guys broke up over a year ago.
What, you thought she was never gonna move on?
Thought she was just playing hard to get.
I thought she was just being smart.
That's enough.
Larry, why don't you channel that anger
into repairing a car instead of doing something stupid?
Stupid ain't in my vocabulary.
Perfect. (SIGHS)
You're marrying Beauregard Billings?
- Beauregard Billings, seriously? - Just wait one second, okay?
- You're marrying Beauregard? - Ms. Miller, I found my sketch pad!
- Good. - Not now, kid. I'm not signing autographs.
Still humble as ever.
She wants an autograph.
Sydney, do you have any idea who this man is?
The janitor?
The janitor. I'm Larry Guthrie, the bowling champion
Metro County Miracle.
Doesn't really ring a bell.
(SIGHS) Boy, what're they teaching kids nowadays? Obviously not about me.
Sydney, why don't you draw me a really pretty picture, okay?
I need to have a word with the janitor.
Beauregard Billings.
- He goes by Bo now. - “Goes by Bo now.“.
He's running for mayor, so he changes his name to Bo?
He hasn't worked an honest day in his life. Unbelievable.
People change, Larry.
Just because you never grew up doesn't mean other people can't.
Why do I wanna grow up? I'm the Metro Lanes' Miracle Man.
I'm awesome.
You slipped on nacho cheese and got lucky.
All right, I'm 50% awesome.
But I'm still 1,000 times more awesome than Beauregard Billings.
I don't want awesome, I want an adult.
Somebody who is ready for the responsibility of a family.
And I waited along time for you to become that person,
and you didn't.
- Well, I was gonna... (CAR HONKING)
Oh, boy.
Who wants a Bo Billings Frisbee? Here you go.
Remember, vote for Bo Billings.
- Who wants a stress ball? - KIDS: I do!
- Stress ball! There they are! - Me! Me! Me!
Now remember to tell your parents to vote for Bo Billings, all right?
Well, if it isn't Larry Guthrie.
Hey, save your stress ball on me there, Billings. I'm voting for the other guy.
(BO LAUGHS)
Hey, beautiful.
- Hi. - Hi.
I gotta go, Larry. It was nice seeing you.
- LARRY: Yeah. - Bye.
All right, I'll see you later.
(BO LAUGHS)
All the people in Ocala she could go out with,
and she goes out with that goofball.
He's a fraud, is what he is.
MATTHEW: There he is. Come on, you guys. Shh!
(BALLOONS SQUEAKING)
BOYS: Oh, Ashton!
Whoa!
ASHTON: Real funny, guys.
Hey, hold on. Hold on a sec.
- You wanna make a quick five bucks? - BOYS: Sure.
Okay, honey, be completely honest.
Which one do you like better, this one or this one?
Wow, they're both so similar.
Well, I mean, I am photogenic, sweetie. I understand.
- Yeah. - But, really, try to pick the best one.
- Come on. - GABE: Hey, mister.
Look, I made this for the tooth fairy.
Yeah, that's pretty good, kid.
- Perfect, I'll use them both. - Fire!
Done. Oh!
(LAUGHING)
Hey, what're you guys doing?
(LAUGHING)
What's that about the tooth fairy?
Oh, I have a loose tooth. See?
Oh, that's awesome. That's good.
No, no, the shirt's fine, sweetie. Look at the face.
So, I made this for her.
That's good, kid. That's cool.
Wow, and you know what? You're gonna have to take this one, too, so...
- But, you know what, sweetie... - I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
Well, you ought to stay a kid as long as you can.
You don't wanna grow up any sooner than you have to.
- Why? - Well...
So sorry. Let me just dry you off real fast.
- Growing up stinks. - Why?
'Cause things don't always turn out the way you'd planned it.
Why?
True love is a fairy tale, just like the tooth...
Uh...
(DISTORTED) No, no.
No, there is a tooth... Listen.
Hey, did you hear that story about the tooth fairy?
Once upon a time, there was this little tooth fairy...
- No, kid! Where're you going? - I'm telling on you!
Hey, kid, hey. Get back. Kid! Kid!
- Ms. Miller, Ms. Miller! - LARRY: Def-Con 4! Def-Con 4!
Hold on, kid. Let me borrow you.
What are you doing, dude?
A little game called “saving my butt.“.
- Honey, what's wrong? (GABE SOBBING)
That man told me something bad about the tooth fairy.
BROOKE: All right. Wait, come here. What is this?
What...
Oh, honey, no, come here. Come here.
LARRY ON TV: Dreams come true!
Dreams come true!
(REWINDING)
Dreams come true!
Greatest day in my life.
Greatest day in my life, right there.
I'm Bo Billings, and we 're gonna make it happen.
- You, me, all of us. - Oh, please.
- We 're in it together. - Billings.
(BROOKE LAUGHS)
BROOKE: Mmm-mmm.
You know what happens if you eat too much chicken.
You turn into a chicken.
I'm pretty sure that ain't gonna happen.
Mmm-mmm. It's a scientific fact.
Haven't you ever heard the expression, “You are what you eat“?
You're just trying to get that last chicken wing.
How dare you.
All right, well, there's only one way to settle this.
- Yeah, a barbecue sauce mustache contest. (LARRY LAUGHS)
One, two, three, go!
Nothing beats a Tom Selleck.
Dadgummit.
- Unless you're Rollie Fingers. Well played. - Mmm-hmm.
Thank you. It is a close call.
Maybe we should put our mustaches together
and see what happens?
Gotta tell you, I kind of like that.
You know what, Brooke?
I'm about to stop you from making the biggest mistake
of your entire life. (TINKLING SOUND)
Huh! It's a piece of paper.
(READING)
“Department of Dissemination of Disbelief.“.
What does that mean?
(TINKLING SOUND)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
(SHRIEKS)
Cheese and crackers, she was right.
I'm a chicken! I'm a chicken!
(SCREAMING)
Mr. Guthrie, my name is Nyx.
Do you know why you're here?
Well, because I ate too much chicken and you turned me into a chicken.
Great, another genius.
For sure I thought I was a chicken.
(LARRY LAUGHS)
This is just a dream.
This isn't a dream, Mr. Guthrie.
Well, then it's a chicken-induced hallucination.
Believe me, I've OD'd on enough chicken
to know what I'm talking about there, little girl.
“Little girl?“
I am Nyxaviera Wiz. Do you know who I am?
I am the 113-time, yes, the highest score in Fairyland,
Tooth Fairy of the Year.
I was making Tooth Fairy All-Star teams
before Columbus discovered America.
(ECHOING)
All right, well, chill out, kid. Jiminy Christmas! Lay off the caffeine.
No, I'm not just some little girl, and all of Fairyland knows that.
I'm a tooth fairy legend!
And now I'm a case worker. Your case worker.
Look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot,
but I'm begging you, please turn me back to the way I was before.
Please, I promise I'll lay off the chicken. Done with it.
No more fried chicken, baked chicken,
breasted chicken, chicken pot pie. Done.
Nuggets, fingers, tenders, tacos,
delicious, by the way, hot dish, chicken-in-a-biscuit.
Did I say nuggets? 'Cause they're delicious.
General Cho's, or Chow, I don't know how you say it. I always say General Cho.
I won't eat that.
Chicken sammiches, chicken chow mein.
Chicken wings, obviously.
Hot, mild, teriyaki,
barbecue, honey mustard.
Chicken and dumplings.
(EXHALES) Boy, who am I kidding? I love chicken!
Enough! Now sit.
Read this.
What's this?
(LARRY READING)
Welcome, disseminator of disbelief.
You didn't think tooth fairies were real, did you?
Well, you're wrong. And now, you're one of us.
When a child loses a tooth and puts it under their pillow at night,
a tooth fairy comes to collect that tooth.
But tooth fairies only collect teeth from children
who believe in the tooth fairy,
because a tiny bit of that belief lives within every child's tooth.
That's the magic that fuels Fairyland.
Thanks to you, a young boy no longer believes.
You have broken fairy law.
(CRYING) - As punishment,
you must temporarily serve as a tooth fairy.
Your sentence is to collect 10 teeth in 10 days
from children in your region,
Metro County, Florida.
Whenever a tooth collection comes up,
you will automatically transform into a tooth fairy.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
Good luck. You'll need it.
And what if I don't do it?
I'm taking away your best memory.
The Metro County Miracle.
You mean to tell me you'd erase the Metro County...
Can and will.
LARRY: What's that?
All temps get a ration of sleeping powder.
Use this to get past pesky cats and guard dogs.
Sleeping powder.
(SNIFFS DEEPLY)
Boy, it don't smell very good.
Gosh, you dunderhead.
Oh.
What happened?
Sleeping powder.
If you ever get caught, use this.
Amnesia powder.
If someone sees you as the tooth fairy, just dust them with a little bit of this
and say, “You never saw the tooth fairy.“.
Now repeat after me. “You never saw the tooth fairy.“.
For Pete's sake, I'm not gonna say something stupid.
(GROANING)
All right. “You never saw the tooth fairy.“.
Now go get some rest, Mr. Guthrie.
- You start tomorrow. - Yeah, but if...
Whoa!
Man, that was the worst dream I ever had.
So real.
I ain't eating chicken late any more.
(SIGHS)
I sure wish that was a dream.
You know what? I still got time to prove she's marrying the wrong man.
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
You wanna what?
I wanna be a part of the after school program.
I think it'd be fun.
- Larry. - What?
Most of these kids are more mature than you are.
Plus, I heard what you said to Gabe.
That was Bo talking to him.
They were talking about the tooth fairy. Now, I wasn't saying that.
All kinds of conversations about it. That was Bo done that.
You're not just doing this to try to prove something to me, are you?
Because it's way too late for that.
Come on, Brooke, get over yourself, seriously?
I mean, not every conversation is about you. I mean, go ahead.
If you wanna make the biggest mistake of your life, go right ahead.
But this ain't about you.
This is about me, and I love kids.
And I wanna... How you doing? Look at me. I love you.
- Love you. Love you. - BOY: Uncool, man.
Come on, it looks like you could use the help.
- GIRL: Ms. Miller. - Come on, Brooke.
- Can I use the bathroom? - Sure, sure. Yeah, honey, you can go for it.
Can you please tell Matthew to give me back my lunchbox?
- No, Ashton, honey, it's right over here. - GIRL: Ms. Miller, I lost my doll.
- Right where you left it. - See how busy you are?
- Ms. Miller, this pen is all dried out.
Sweetie, just swap it out for a red one, okay?
Ms. Miller, can you help us build this?
Yeah, 10 minutes, okay?
And this guitar is broken. It needs new batteries.
Play air guitar, man.
LARRY: See what I'm talking about?
Come on, Brookie. Brookster.
- I can't afford to pay you. (SCOFFS) Pay me?
I'm insulted. I'm in!
I had to let my entire staff go, so that's the only reason I'm doing this.
- I know. - Because I'm desperate.
- And I'm in. - Really desperate.
- I'm in. - Really desperate.
- Done. - Like bottom-of-the-barrel desperate.
I'm in.
(BROOKE SIGHS)
- All right. - Sweet.
I am gonna finish planting the garden with half the kids.
You are in charge of the other half.
Piece of cake. What do I do?
Arts and crafts?
I mean, arts and crafts, awesome! I love arts and crafts.
This'll be sweet. Love arts and crafts.
Shoot, this ain't gonna be that hard.
- Put those down! (KIDS SHOUTING)
(CLATTERING) - You guys, you got...
Don't throw that! Don't...
Put it down! Put it down!
You're gonna get hurt!
Stop! Don't do it!
Enough!
What's wrong with everybody?
- We're bored. - KIDS: Yeah!
All right. Well, hey, I know what we can do.
Let's go play lawn darts.
Isn't that dangerous?
Yeah, I guess that would be.
Let's go hunting.
What, are you crazy?
Yeah, I guess there ain't nothing to hunt.
Man, what kind of an after school program is this?
Hey, wait. I got an idea!
- Let's have us a genuine snowball fight. - KIDS: What?
- What? - This is Florida. There's no snow.
BOY: Yeah. LARRY: Ye of little belief.
You ain't gotta have snow to have a good old snowball fight in Florida.
You wanna see how?
Well, you just get yourself some ﬂour and some pantyhose.
Fill it to the brim. Tie yourself a knot.
Do it 100 more times.
Get some of these fancy goggles and then...
Let the games begin.
I just want some satisfaction
'Cause I can get none here.
I need a new main attraction.
One that I could wear.
It's gonna start a chain reaction
(KIDS SHOUTING)
I need a little imagination.
Shelter from the rain.
- Time for the secret weapon, boys. - Yeah!
What is going on here?
(GASPS)
(GROANS) Brooke, jeez.
What did you do to this place?
You were supposed to be setting a good example.
Brooke, we were just having some fun.
This is exactly the kind of thing that I was worried about.
You are not ready for this kind of responsibility.
You're not ready for any kind of responsibility.
(LAUGHING) Brooke, you look ridiculous.
Listen, we were just trying to bond. I was having fun with the kids.
I'm ready for responsibility. Give me another chance.
Just one more chance.
One more chance.
But you pull another stunt like this, and you are done.
- I won't do it. - Now clean up this mess!
I will get it cleaned up.
Thank you.
Hey, which one of you kids wanna help me clean up in here?
- BOY: See you! (KIDS LAUGH)
LARRY: Come on, Snappers!
Come on, let's get to the first down.
- Let's get to the first down! - Come on now, let's go!
(ALL SHOUTING)
Thirty! 20! 10! He's got it.
(TINKLING SOUND)
TV ANNOUNCER: Touchdown.
I didn't even have chicken today.
- What? - Nothing. I'll be right back.
Hey, grab some more soda!
(EXCLAIMING)
(POPPING)
No way.
This has to be a dream.
Wake up, wake up.
Okay.
This is gonna hurt, but I gotta wake up. Okay.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
Oh, man.
Guess I am a tooth fairy.
(ERNIE AND HANK CHEERING)
So, did they score a touchdown?
Larry, why're you dressed like a ballerina?
LARRY: That is a good question.
That is a fine question. And I'm gonna tell you why.
'Cause I'm in a play. I'm in The Nutcracker.
Matter of fact, I am the nutcracker.
The Nutcracker?
Dadgum right. Check this out, ye of non-belief.
Pretty good, huh?
You have lost your ever-loving mind.
Uh-huh.
I normally don't dance good without my resin.
You will forget there was ever a tooth fairy here.
(BOTH SIGHING)
And while you're at it, Ernie,
you'll forget that I owe you 20 bucks.
Now let's see what address I gotta go to.
Oh, boy. “Sydney Wilder, Walnut Street.“.
Let's go get some teeth.
(CHAIN JINGLING)
(LOW GROWLING)
Nice dog. Shh! Nice.
Stay back, I'm the tooth fairy.
I command you.
Do not... Do not eat me!
Bad dog!
(YELLS)
Bad dog!
What the heck is that thing?
(CRUSHER SNORTING)
What? (LAUGHS)
You're just a little pig. I ain't scared of no pig.
I'll tell you what, I'd eat more pork. It just lays on me. It just lays on me.
Come on. Hey, look, keep it down. Would you keep it...
(CRUSHER SQUEALING)
For Pete's sake, out of all the kids in Ocala,
I gotta get one with a guard pig.
- WOMAN: Crusher. - What's going on out here, boy?
Put a cork in it. The game's on.
Awesome.
A little sleeping dust and a moon pie. Ultimate weapon.
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
Good night.
(SNORING)
TV ANNOUNCER: I cannot believe what I am seeing.
This is college football at its finest, folks.
Go, go, go!
MAN: Come on. Come on, Snappers!
- Quiet. You'll wake Sydney. - Shh!
Holy cow, I cannot believe the comeback that I am witnessing, folks.
- You do not want to take... - Oh! Yes!
Come on. Come on, Snappers!
(WOMAN GRUNTS)
MAN: Go!
(LARRY GRUNTS)
Go, Snappers?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Call 911! Call 911!
Hold on, I can explain.
Wait. Aren't you that bowling guy?
If you mean the Metro County Miracle Man,
guilty as charged.
What are you doing in our house
dressed like that?
That is a dadgum good question.
I'm not a ballerina, I'll tell you that much.
Wait a minute. You're one of them singing telegram guys, aren't you?
That's right. That's what I am. A singing telegram fella.
Uh, but I don't sing good without my resin.
Let me get my resin out.
Oh, boy.
(GRUNTS) Oh, God. You gotta...
(SINGING ) Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way.
How come we're always passing the ball...
When we could easily run the next play?
How come we do it? Don't under...
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming...
Please leave our house.
Good idea.
(YELLS)
Jeez, what're you doing in here?
Pink? What're you doing?
My bowling ball!
It looks prettier that way.
What is wrong with you?
(NYX ZAPPING)
You're not a tooth fairy, you're a psycho.
No, not my bass!
Man, that's the biggest bass I've ever had that didn't need batteries.
Oh!
That's my Metro Miracle bowling trophy.
Now you've gone too far.
NYX: This morning, Sydney Wilder looked under her pillow and found
her tooth was still there.
And if that little girl stops believing,
I'm taking away your best memory.
Or even worse.
Have I made myself clear?
Uh, yes, ma'am.
Thank goodness that's over with.
Oh, come on.
Stinking tooth fairy.
What am I, Lady Gaga?
(MOCKS BLOWING TRUMPET)
It's the snack horn, kids! Who wants a juice box?
Here's an apple. You look like an apple.
Brooke, you want a fruit punch?
No, I'm good. Thanks, Larry. Did you bring all this?
You're darn right I did. That's the magic I bring to the table.
I'm impressed.
- Well, you need one, you let me know. - Yeah, I will.
- You want a burrito? - Later.
All right. Cold juice boxes.
Fruity punches and apples.
Here's a fruity punch. You want a juice box?
- Yes, please. - There it is. You want a juice box?
I want a burrito.
Well, I was kind of saving the burritos for me. How about a juice box?
I want a burrito.
- Burrito! - All right.
Simmer down there, hot sauce. Chill out.
Hey, Sydney, what you drawing? Is that the tooth fairy?
'Cause something tells me the tooth fairy might be giving you a visit tonight.
You don't believe me, ask Gabe. Gabe will tell you.
Ain't that right, Gabe, buddy?
Go ahead, tell her about the tooth fairy.
Sorry, I don't believe in fairy tales any more.
Oh, come on, Gabe. Gabe, Gabe.
Tooth fairy, come on.
Seriously, dude, we're not babies.
- MATTHEW: Yeah. - Well, all right.
For your information, you'll see I'm telling the truth.
You wait and see. You just wait and you'll see...
My burritos! Five-second rule on the ground.
(SNIFFS) All right, maybe that one. That one won't work.
You like moon pies so much,
here's a whole truckload of them.
(THUDS)
Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
TV ANNOUNCER: Get ready for some of the biggest,
baddest, loudest monster truck action ever.
This is good.
No, concentrate. Gotta get that tooth.
(STOMACH GROWLING) (GROANING)
Burritos. Dadgummit, I should've never had six of them.
(FARTS)
- Did you just hear something? - Yeah, the...
Go check on Sydney. Go.
(FARTING)
Oh.
(SIGHS)
(LOUD FART)
What was it? What's the matter?
I don't think Sydney should eat your meatloaf any more.
(LAUGHS) Dadgum right.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Mr. Larry Guthrie!
They said he couldn't do it. There's no way he's gonna do it.
But he did. He got the tooth.
He got the tooth nobody thought he could get, and there it is.
It's a beautiful specimen, it is.
(CLAPPING)
It's you. Hey, check it out. I got a tooth.
Yes, you collected one tooth.
It took you two days and all the magic I gave you.
- Yeah, but I... - Follow me.
Put the tooth under the pillow.
You can at least say please.
That's pretty cool.
Just do that nine more times and your sentence will be lifted.
Nine more...
Are you sure there's even nine kids that still believe any more?
That's your problem, not mine.
This story is called “Sydney and the Really Loud Piglet.“.
Hey, Gabe, you wanna listen to some of the story?
No.
All right.
So Crusher snapped and stammered ferociously.
Oh, he was a mean piglet.
(SQUEALING) (LAUGHING)
The tooth fairy didn't budge.
She was there to get Sydney's tooth, no matter what.
And the tooth fairy leaped over the fence very gracefully,
right over the fence. She went like this. She jumped.
And when she jumped up in the air,
she took her hand and she throwed out all the magic sleeping dust.
And it hit him in the head.
He was mad.
(SNORTING)
He was out like a ton of bricks. Hit the floor.
Tooth fairy story again?
DAJALYNN: Lame.
REILLY: Tell me about it.
LARRY: Well, do you wanna know what happened?
KIDS: Yes.
Ask Sydney.
The tooth fairy took my tooth.
And when I woke up, there was money under my pillow.
And it smelled like rotten eggs.
(LAUGHING)
Well, for the record, the tooth fairy said
it smelled like rotten eggs when she got there.
Who wants the tooth fairy to come visit their house?
Well, dadgum.
Let's get them teeth a-wiggling.
Hey, guys, I got an idea. Follow me.
Where you going?
Hey, no, don't do that.
Put that down.
That's not right.
You guys, seriously?
Honestly, you're doing that?
Come on, now. For Pete's sake,
would you put those down?
Hey, why don't you guys set up for some soccer over here?
I'm gonna go check on Mr. Larry.
Okay, ready.
BROOKE: Whoa, whoa, ladies.
What are you kids doing?
Trying to make some cash money from the tooth fairy.
Right. Larry?
How was the nature walk?
(TV ANNOUNCER SPEAKING ON TV)
Shouldn't you be out there getting me a tooth, you slacker?
You know, I'm gonna go get you a tooth,
but there's a little thing on TV right now called a fishing tournament,
which I was enjoying immensely.
Larry, for once in your life,
can you stop being a 10-percenter and try to be a 110-percenter?
What're you talking about? I've already got the case card right here.
I know what I'm doing tonight.
Hey, you know what? You think I can have some more amnesia powder?
I'm almost out of it.
Fine.
What is that?
These are “glow of the firefly“ berries.
They make you light up like a firefly.
Hence the name.
Can I have some of those,
'cause where I'm going tonight, it gets really dark at night.
(SARCASTICALLY) Yes, it does get dark at night.
Your powers of perception never cease to amaze me.
But very well, you may have three firefly berries
and a refill of amnesia powder.
- All right. - Anything else that you want from me?
Well, yeah, there is. I been meaning to talk to you about it.
I need to get a new outfit.
Don't push your luck.
It's not comfortable, though.
The more comfortable I am, the more teeth I get.
I see. How about this?
What am I, Captain Cavity?
They'll laugh me right out of the house.
Or this?
Seriously?
Is this better?
(LAUGHING) Yeah, this is good.
I'm gonna come over that table in about five seconds.
I think it's you.
Can't you just give me something normal to wear?
If I give you overalls, will you stop bothering me and go get me some teeth?
Tell you what, you get me overalls,
I'll bring you a whole wheelbarrow full of teeth.
But they're pink.
- Bye. - Wait a sec...
Boy, you sure do love pink, don't you?
What in the world?
450.
Boy, it's awful dark in there.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Well, here goes nothing.
(GULPS)
(COUGHS)
Phew! That's nasty.
Well, guess that was a dud.
(PANTS RIPPING)
What in the world?
What is that? Oh, man.
Oh, boy, I hope that ain't permanent.
Funny, real funny.
Some of that fairy trickery, probably.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
What the...
Why, I ought to...
There it is.
Unbelievable.
See you later, Ellie.
- Bye, Larry. - See you.
(LARRY CHUCKLES)
What's up, Gabe? Hey, dude. How's that tooth treating you?
Oh, wow.
Now remember, when it falls out, you need to put that under your pillow.
Why, what's the point?
Oh, come on, I thought you'd be over that by now.
Hey, look. You got a pretty good talent for art, son,
so I went up and I got you these books.
There's all kinds of pictures and it tells you all about the artists in them.
If you read them, I guarantee you, you'll be just as good as they are.
These are for me?
Yeah, they're for you.
Just make sure you take them back to the library when you're done with them.
- Thanks. - Let me see that tooth again.
Oh, man, that's gross.
You need to get that tooth taken out. That's sick.
I'm gonna go feed the rabbits.
FRANK: Hey, Gabe.
- Dad. - Hi, pal. You ready to go?
What do you think?
Oh... Uh...
Well, looks... You know I don't know anything about art, Gabe.
Hey, let's go home and play some football, huh? What d'you say?
All right.
(BABBLING) Hey there, little rabbit. Hey there, little bunny.
I just locked up. You have all your stuff?
(BABBLING) Yes, I've got everything.
(NORMAL VOICE) I mean, yeah, I got everything. How you doing?
I'm okay. I just need some help coming up with ideas,
how to get this place in better financial shape.
Well, I'll tell you what. Why don't we talk about it later
and we'll find out if it's a date or not?
- It's not. And I can't. I'm busy. (CAR DOOR CLOSING)
What could be more important than
talking about fundraising with me and eating a bucket of chicken?
Our wedding shower.
- Yeah, hi. - Hi, sweetie.
Say, Larry, since you're free tonight,
why don't you come to our wedding shower?
You know, Bo, I'd like nothing more than to go to your shower,
but we're gonna head down to Gatorland
and sneak in dressed like a couple of steaks.
- Good. - Actually, your mother didn't
seem very interested in inviting any of my friends.
Wait a minute, none of your friends are gonna be there?
- No. - All right then,
I think I'll come down there.
- Yeah. - Wonderful, yeah.
- Okay. - And, Larry, wear something nice, okay?
(BROOKE CLICKS TONGUE)
- Yeah. - With sleeves, if you can.
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
Ladies, I've got to tell you something.
Have you seen Sue Ellen's facelift?
I think she should ask her surgeon for a refund.
(LAUGHING)
Where's the entertainment? I'm bored.
- Nana, quiet. - Ah!
Brooke, honey, there's someone I want you to meet.
Sure, sure.
Who are all these people?
- Potential campaign donors. Big smiles. - Okay.
BO: Hello.
- How are you? - Hi.
Hi, I would like to introduce you to my beautiful fiancée, Brooke.
(BROKEN GLASS CLINKING)
If you all will excuse me.
- Just one moment, dear? - Sure.
Yeah, sure.
Wow.
- Hey, there he is. - Hey, what's up?
Hey, a shirt with sleeves, and a tie. Impressive.
Hey, yeah, look at that. That's special order, too.
You went all-out, didn't you?
Yeah, here I got that. Wrapped it myself.
Yeah, thanks.
Tell you what, this is a pretty nice little shower right here.
Yeah, a bit nicer than the chicken wings
and Mountain Dew you're used to, huh, Larry?
What's wrong with Mountain Dew? I like Mountain Dew.
See, that's why I wanted you to come tonight.
I wanted you to see that Brooke has graduated from her old life.
You know, she's moved on to the finer things in life.
Hey.
Well, you ain't married yet.
I'll be right back.
How you doing? Pardon me. Excuse me.
How are you? Excuse me. I had the meatloaf. I'm sorry.
- Hey. - Hey, where'd Larry go?
I don't know. He probably went to the kitchen.
Nyx, I know I haven't been a very good tooth fairy,
but I promise if you'll get me out of this situation right now,
I will be the best tooth fairy you've ever seen.
Seriously, Nyx? Now?
Oh, man, this is not a good time.
There's no way that I am wearing this outfit...
Whoa!
(ALL GASPING)
Oops. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
This ain't good.
How's everybody doing tonight?
Hey, wait.
I thought you were here to support me, not make a joke of my bridal shower.
I'm not making a... Look, I am here to support you.
You are here in support hose, Larry!
I am. Oh!
You ain't gonna believe me, but...
I'm a...
Dancer! (LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
Listen up, everybody.
I hired this gentleman to dance for us.
After all, this is a bachelorette party, isn't it?
Now everybody come on,
let's kick this party into gear.
(JUNGLE BOOGIE PLAYING)
LARRY: I think I probably ought to get going.
- I don't think... - Come on, dance.
(GASPS)
Go on, dance for us!
Jungle boogie Jungle boogie.
Oh. my...
Jungle boogie Jungle boogie.
Take it off!
LARRY: Come on, Brooke.
- Oh, no. - You know you want to.
- No. No, no, no, Larry... - Come on, surrender to the pink.
No. Larry, no!
Jungle boogie Jungle boogie.
Get down Get down.
Get down Get down
(MUSIC STOPS) - Shaw's over, everyone.
It's time for this clown to go back to the circus.
Good night!
(BROOKE CHUCKLES)
- Bye, Larry. Thanks for coming. (PEOPLE CLAPPING)
“Ellie Harris, 442.“.
Upstairs? Oh, man.
What am I, The Rock? Can't get up there.
All right, well, that's why I got wings.
Let's see what these babies can do.
One, two, three.
(EXCLAIMING)
What the heck good are wings if we can't fly with them?
Well...
I just guess I'll use my God-given athletic ability.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Hey, yeah. Hey, Grandma. Hog hunting?
I'd love to do it, but I'm a little busy right now.
Larry?
You're the tooth fairy?
I'm gonna have to call you back.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Yeah, I'm the tooth...
Who would ever've thought that I'd be...
Amnesia powder.
This is powdered sugar.
Oh, for Pete's sake. What...
Oh!
It's the wrong bag.
I know it's in here somewhere. What in the world did I do with it?
Oh.
There it is.
Larry, can I ask you a question?
Sure, darling. What is it?
Will you make my sister go away?
Will I make your sister...
What're you talking about?
My baby sister.
Mom and Dad spend all their attention on her.
They don't care about me any more.
Will you use magic to make her go away?
Hey, I don't wanna hear you talk like that.
Your mom and dad still care about you.
It's just that your little sister's little. You just wait and see.
You and her, you're gonna be best friends.
It's gonna be fun. But right now, she can't even talk.
You know what that means?
You can blame a lot of stuff on her. Trust me.
I'm the tooth fairy.
Okay, thanks, Larry.
You got it, sport. Oh, hey, remember,
you never saw the tooth fairy.
(SIGHS)
We're all set. Fire it up, Ernie.
- Hey! - HANK: That's it.
Check it out. That's awesome.
Hey, Brooke, check it out. Look at the hand, moves and everything.
We done all that today.
It looks amazing.
- Don't you like it? - Yeah.
What's wrong?
(SIGHS) Bills, Larry.
I can barely keep this place afloat and the kids need so many new materials.
I don't know how I'm gonna do it.
Well, all you gotta do is slap that thing on eBay I just made,
and make about $50,000.
I wish.
Ms. Miller! Ms. Miller! Look what I made.
Gabe, that's amazing.
LARRY: You drew that?
Get out of here. Look at that.
Boy, that ought to be in a dadgum art museum.
You're a regular artiste.
Wait a second.
Think I just figured out a way to help this place out.
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
I like that one.
Me, too. I think I'm gonna buy it.
Hey, that's nice.
Got any money?
That's awesome.
LARRY: Gabe.
How you doing, buddy? Good to see you.
You must be Gabe's dad.
- Frank McGee. - Frank, I'm Larry.
- Nice to meet you. - You, too.
Did you put my painting up?
Did I put your painting up?
Check out what I done.
Look at this.
Dude, you're the hit of the whole thing.
Look at all these, they all sold.
Every one of them gone in less than 10 minutes.
Really?
Yeah, they sold. And guess which one I bought.
That one.
That's right, and I'm gonna give it to her when I see her, too.
Hey, I'll tell you what. Why don't you go find some of your buddies?
Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.
- He's something else. - Yes.
I really appreciate what you're doing for my son.
Oh, he's a great kid.
How do you do it?
I mean, how do you talk to him about things
like painting and art?
How do you get him to talk to you?
Shoot, I don't know nothing about art.
I just kind of encourage him a little bit, show him that I care.
You know what it means when you're worried about being a good father?
No.
It means you're a good father.
(CHUCKLES)
Thank you. I better catch up with Gabe.
You got it.
- Nice meeting you. - Hey, you, too. Good to see you.
- Larry, look at this. - Hey, Brooke.
- Get out of here. - Unbelievable.
Not only are we gonna be able to pay our bills,
but we're actually gonna be able to buy all-new supplies.
Oh, man, that is awesome.
- I don't know... - Who's the man? What'd I tell you?
You're the man. Larry,
I gotta admit, I had my doubts about you.
- But you really... - Hey, honey.
- Hey, hi. - I'm sorry I'm late,
but you know those big campaign donors, they like to talk.
Yeah, so, tell me, how many of these paintings you need me to buy?
None.
- None? - We sold every single one.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
(LAUGHS) That's super. - I know.
Yeah, let me hold that for you.
- Thank you. - So which one did you buy?
Well...
(LAUGHS) Wow, that is...
ls awful.
- No. - I mean, even for a kid, that's bad.
What's it supposed to be?
What you mean what's that supposed to be?
What are you, blind?
That's a tooth fairy battling aloud piglet.
I mean, it ain't that bad, really.
It's abstract.
Yeah, what she said.
Abstract.
Yeah. Abstract, huh?
"HEY. honey. - Ready to go?"
Yeah, let's go. I missed you.
Beauregard, you got no regard for good art.
(HAMMER POUNDING)
- BROOKE: Morning! - Hey.
Well, you're here bright and early.
We don't open for another hour.
Well, I couldn't sleep last night.
I got to thinking about this little building here and it needs work done.
So, I come up to get it fixed.
Look how sturdy I got it now. Look at that.
Yeah, this from the guy who once faked a coma
to get out of my nephew's piano recital?
Well, that was the old Larry. This is the new, improved, mature Larry.
If I didn't know better, I'd think this new, mature Larry
was trying to impress me.
(CHUCKLES)
How's the new, mature Larry doing?
(MESSAGE TONE BEEPS)
Excuse me, new, mature Larry I have a text from my fiancé.
Boom.
Everything all right?
Yeah, it's fine.
Bo's campaign meeting just got rescheduled for this afternoon
and we were supposed to go taste wedding cakes then and that's...
Hold it. Did you just say cake?
BAKER: Well, it's not a traditional wedding cake, but...
Look at this. Chocolate.
Orange butter cream frosting.
Kind of balances out. I like it.
A bowling legend and a cake expert.
- He's quite a catch. (LAUGHS)
- No, we're not actually engaged. He's just... - LARRY: No, she's right.
I am a tremendous catch.
Brooke, you gotta try this.
Oh, my gosh, it's incredible.
You always did like orange butter cream.
I can't believe you remembered that. I like that.
I remember anything that's food-related.
True.
Sorry, I'm late.
- What are you doing here? - BROOKE: Hey.
Larry is helping me taste wedding cakes
and we both love this one. Here.
- A chocolate wedding cake? - Yeah.
You know, how about something more traditional?
Like this one right here.
- Look. - Well...
This is divine. This is wonderful.
Brooke ain't gonna eat that. She's allergic to strawberries.
Yes, of course.
Darling, can we do this later?
Channel 6 wants to do a segment on me
and I could really use your beautiful face.
Oh, well, it's just, I was planning on buying new supplies.
Hey, I can do it.
Let me do it.
No, no, no, Larry, you have been great.
More helpful than I could have ever imagined, you know?
It's just that this is our chance to give these kids a real rec center.
Yeah, but, Brooke, you're busy, and I don't mind doing it.
- This is all the money from our fundraiser. - I can do it.
All right.
Okay, the list is in there.
I am the new, mature Larry. It will get done.
- BROOKE: See you. - All right. Bye-bye.
Hey, before I go, though, I think I'm gonna go down there
and show them uppity folks how to play some croquet.
BROOKE: Have fun! BO: Knock yourself out.
It's real easy, ladies, it's all in the form. Fore!
(WOMEN GASP)
See you!
Get 'er done.
Classic temp mistake.
Do you always have to do that?
You're taking your eye off the ball, Mr. Guthrie.
What are you talking about?
“Brooke, I love you ever so much.
“Run away with me. We'll be ever so happy.“.
- I don't talk like that. - You're right.
You're way less charming.
(IMITATING LARRY) You are more like, “Yeah, babe, don't worry, babe.
"I can totally handle getting those supplies, babe."
"I can get 'er done.“."
Oh, yeah? Well, this is what you sound like.
(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) “My name's Nyx,
“and I think I'm the cutest little fairy...“
(YELLING)
My underwear is creeping up on me.
Whoa! Run along! Just a wedgie. Ain't no big deal.
Yeah, that's real funny, Nyx.
Yeah, it is.
Stay focused, Mr. Guthrie,
because if you don't get me some more teeth,
I'll have no choice but to take away your greatest memory.
Take it easy, I remember.
What is he up to? He's dancing around like a clown.
Because you have a case in two minutes.
Just giving you a heads-up,
lest you embarrass yourself any further.
LARRY: Focus, focus.
This guy's completely nuts.
Okay, Larry, it's time to remind Brooke
that you're always gonna be a loser.
Here we go.
(CHUCKLES)
Larry, you're making this way too easy on me.
Oh, yeah.
If I don't win Tooth Fairy of the Year for this,
you'll know I got...
Robbed! (SIGHS)
BROOKE: Hey, guys, here he is! Come here, come here, come here!
- There he is! Come here, guys! - BO: Come on in!
BROOKE: Come here, he's here! BO: Come on in.
(CHANTING) Larry! Larry! Larry!
- BROOKE: All right, guys. - Did you get us a Wii?
- A new telescope? - More art supplies?
A new puppy?
Where are the supplies?
(SIGHS)
Everything okay?
(MUMBLES) I lost the supplies.
- You what? - I lost the supplies.
I don't know, it's bizarre. They was in my car.
I went in to get something real quick in the store,
and I come out, they're gone. Somebody done stole them!
You're really excited about your toys that Larry brought?
ALL: Yeah!
Can't wait to see them, can you?
- No! - I know, neither can I.
Just unbelievable.
This was our chance to give these kids a real rec center
and you blow it on one of your pit stops?
What was it this time, Larry?
It was important.
You know, Larry, since you have come back into my life,
I have had to clean up one major mess of yours after another.
All right, Brooke, listen.
I'm gonna tell you, okay?
You're not gonna believe me, but I'm gonna tell you.
I'm just gonna be honest. All right?
I'm a tooth fairy.
I mean, not the Tooth Fairy. I'm a tooth fairy.
It's really weird. They got it regionalized now.
Who'd have thought they'd have regionalized that?
But that's howl lost the stuff. I go in to get this tooth from this kid...
A joke. You're gonna make a joke
- at a time like this. - I ain't making a...
You really can't take anything seriously, can you?
I ain't making a joke. I go in to get this tooth...
God, I can't believe I actually thought you had changed.
It is so clear you are never gonna grow up.
Brooke, I ain't kidding... Oh, boy.
The kids are starting to worry.
(BABBLING)
Did something happen to the supplies, Larry?
(SIGHS)
Oh, Larry, come on, man.
(BO SIGHS)
What are we gonna tell the kids?
Well, why don't we just tell them that...
BO: Nothing.
I can't let these kids suffer because of someone else's idiocy.
You know, I'm gonna personally cover the expenses to all new supplies.
In fact, I'm gonna go buy them right now.
Let me do something. Let me make up for what I done.
Haven't you done enough?
So, I know you're a little slow on the uptake,
but when you sprout wings and a pair of pink coveralls,
- that means you're a tooth fairy. (SCOFFS)
You do have some teeth to collect tonight.
I quit.
Grow up. So you've had a couple of bad breaks.
Bad breaks, seriously?
Let me tell you something about bad breaks.
If it wasn't for me having to collect all them teeth for you,
none of this would've happened to me.
Now, Brooke's mad at me. She hates my guts.
She's gonna marry Beauregard Billings.
I mean, guess what I get out of it.
The rest of my life to try to forget about her.
Thanks a lot. You ruined my life.
I ruined your life?
Take a second and remember what your life was before we met.
Because the way I remember it, you were a big fat washout going nowhere fast.
Well, there, see? Something hasn't changed.
Look, two days ago, I would've encouraged you to quit.
But I was wrong.
You're actually not horrible at this.
So just collect six more teeth by Sunday
and you save your greatest memory.
You know what?
Take it. I could careless.
Go ahead and just take it. Metro County Miracle. Who cares?
To think I actually started to believe in you.
(VOICE BREAKING) Have a nice life, Mr. Guthrie.
Wait.
HANK: I don't believe it. Larry opened the garage early again?
That's crazy.
Did you stay up again all night?
Man, I appreciate your new work ethic, but this is too much.
Yeah, man, you're going overboard.
Well, I feel like this is what I need to do now.
For what it's worth, I think she's marrying the wrong guy.
Thanks.
(ON RECORDER) Hey, this is Tom Abrams calling for Larry Guthrie.
I'm on the Central Florida Bowling Team,
and me and some of the guys were trying to recreate your crazy roll.
And we were hoping maybe you could come on by and show us how you did it.
Give me a call, 555-8621. Thanks again.
What do you say, Larry?
Wanna show these young'uns a thing or two?
About what?
About the Metro County Miracle, man.
Come on, go and drop some knowledge on those kids.
Knowledge. You want them to have knowledge,
tell them to go buy some nacho cheese.
'Cause that's what I tripped on when I made that shot.
I mean, pure luck. Metro County Miracle.
Wait a minute.
I still remember that. That's not my best memory.
Hey, hold on, I gotta do something.
Where you going?
- How's it going? What's going on? - Hey, Larry.
Hey, can we have a word?
I love you, but I'm in a hurry. We'll do it next time.
Please, it's really important.
Uh...
So what's on y'all's minds?
I lost that tooth.
Oh.
And I remember what you said before.
But then you told all those stories.
Now, I don't know what to believe.
So, please, just tell me the truth.
If I put my tooth under my pillow,
will the tooth fairy come, or not?
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here? I was a tooth fairy, remember?
What do you want?
I want my job back.
What's the point?
You only have two days to collect six teeth.
I mean, even if you collect one tonight,
there aren't five cases scheduled for tomorrow.
You can't possibly meet your quota. It's hopeless.
Nyx, listen. But if there's a chance
to have Gabe believe in the tooth fairy again,
I'm gonna take that chance.
And it has nothing to do with my greatest memory.
Come on, Nyx, it's the right thing to do.
Please?
- Very well. - Thank you.
I can't believe I actually asked to be back in these.
Hey, you know what?
Now that I know the Metro County Miracle's
not my greatest memory,
you think maybe you could kind of
tell me what it was?
(SIGHS) Tell you what, you get me Gabe's tooth
and your best memory will appear on the back of the case card
in your pouch.
I'll be in and out of there so fast, they won't even know I was there.
Kind of like college.
Okay, Gabe, let's go get your tooth.
(SNAPPING) (YELLING IN PAIN)
I knew it! I knew it!
I thought we were friends.
- FRANK: Gabe! - He's the tooth fairy.
What's going on here?
Wow.
I can't believe these are real.
Are you all done poking at me now?
For Pete's sake, you act like you ain't never seen a tooth fairy before.
- They're making you collect teeth? - Yeah, they are.
And my sentence ends tomorrow at midnight, and I'm five teeth short.
Well, what happens if you don't get all the teeth?
Then I lose my best memory. Forever.
Your best memory? What is it?
I don't know.
You know what? Let's find out.
It's probably something silly
about the first time I ate a Slim Jim or something.
Or bacon. I love bacon.
I guarantee it has something to do with bacon.
Oh, man, I gotta get this one back.
Just collect five more teeth.
I can't. There's no more cases tomorrow.
- There could be. - What do you mean?
You got me to believe in the tooth fairy again.
So, just do that five more times.
Good idea.
Check it out.
Life is good when you're around.
Nothing can bring me down.
I can't believe what I have found.
We're ready.
Oh, man! Thanks, guys, for everything.
Good luck, Larry.
I hate to do this, but it's tooth fairy rules.
Remember, you never saw the tooth fairy.
“Invitation from the tooth fairy.“
“You have stopped believing in me.“
"I hereby give you one last chance to make up for your mistake.“"
“Tonight and only tonight...“
"I will collect any tooth you put under your pillow.“."
Hey, did you get one of these invitations?
Luckily, my mom saved this old baby tooth.
I'm gonna go for it.
- Me, too. - Me, too.
I got one last baby tooth, so...
What do I gotta lose?
(TOOTH POPS) - Ow!
Now, I don't know how you did it,
but somehow you convinced five kids to believe in the tooth fairy again.
Now, no temp or tooth fairy has ever collected five teeth in one night.
Well, I might be the first one.
This was my secret weapon back when I was a tooth fairy.
Speed of the hummingbird.
We're not technically supposed to give it to temps because it's so rare,
but it sure would be a shame if someone left this box open.
So, why, do they dry out or something if you leave the box open?
Are you messing with me?
Yeah, little bit.
This is awesome, and I really appreciate it.
We're almost like a team now, like Starsky and Hutch or...
What do you want, a hug or something?
You know what? A hug, actually, would be kind of...
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Jean, is Brooke here?
My sister's busy, and she doesn't wanna see you.
Jean... Hey, please?
Come on, all I wanna do is talk to her, just for a second. Please?
I'll see.
- You know, Larry is here. - All right.
Whoa.
Brooke.
You look beautiful. Look at you.
Thanks.
- This isn't really a great time, Larry. - I know. I know it's not.
But I just had to come by and tell you something.
Can I talk to you just for a second?
You remember that time that you and I went fishing?
This was our second date.
And we were walking back,
and you took my hand and put it in your hand.
Well, I got to thinking about that the other day,
and that was, by far, the greatest all-time memory of my life.
The single best memory.
And at the time, I just couldn't figure out
why somebody so sweet and kind and smart
could like me like that.
(SIGHS) Larry...
Look, I know it sounds corny, Brooke, I really do.
And if you don't wanna be with me, if you wanna be with somebody else,
I get it.
You gave me tons of chances.
But you deserve to be with somebody whose greatest memory is about you.
Well, I guess what I'm trying to say here is...
I'm trying to object to the wedding,
in case you ain't figured out what I'm trying to do.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I got it.
See? Beautiful and smart.
Well, all right. Well, I said my piece.
Boy, I sure appreciate you doing this.
I mean, I didn't have anywhere else to turn.
But I promise to get you home by midnight.
Hey, and if you do a good job, you can have all the moon pies you want.
- How's that? (SQUEALS)
Well, I'm getting hungry.
(CLEARS THROAT) You wanna stop and get a BLT?
(GROWLS)
Oh, sorry. You wanna stop and get an LT?
Artistry's moisture-intense mask.
It's like having your face drink from the Fountain of Youth, ladies.
Your face is gonna feel as if it's plumping from within.
And just being beautiful and radiant,
and vibrant and glowing. Do you feel that, ladies?
All this can be yours.
And it's only $20.65.
WOMEN: Ooh!
All right, well, I do have another surprise for you.
Have you ever heard that expression, “You can put lipstick on a pig?“.
Well, with Artistry's rouge,
you can literally put lipstick on a pig
and that pig will turn heads.
(LAUGHS) I'm not kidding.
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(WHISTLES)
LARRY: Come on, Crusher! Stacey!
See you later, little buddy. I appreciate the help. And wish me luck.
(SQUEALS)
By the way, enjoy the moon pies! They're delicious.
(MEN LAUGHING)
Sometimes we just have to make a few sacrifices in life, huh?
I mean, of course, I miss the Ferrari.
But if driving a pickup truck.
(IMITATING SOUTHERN ACCENT) and talking like this gets me elected,
well, that's just gander 'n grits, huh?
- Bo? - Yeah.
Could I talk to you for a second?
Yeah. Excuse me, fellas.
(WHISPERING) Honey, hey, hey, I can't talk right now.
Now, listen. These guys can really help my chances of getting elected.
I know, it's just...
I need to ask you something.
(BO STUTTERS)
What is your greatest memory?
- What? - No, please, it's important.
- What is your single greatest memory? - I don't know.
(EXHALES)
Throwing the game-winning touchdown against Eastland to win State.
I'll tell you, people are still talking about it.
These guys are talking about it.
That throw was right down the middle.
That was something else, yeah.
So, honey, why was that so important?
(KIDS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
All right, Reilly. Where you at?
206. 206. Got you!
(CLOCK BELL CHIMING)
I am running out of time. I gotta get four more teeth.
Ha! Speed of a hummingbird. Boy, this better work.
(COUGHS) Man, I feel like I'm on Fear Factor.
(GULPS)
Wait for it. Wait for it.
(CHUCKLES)
All right.
Looks like I got a need for some speed.
Those smell amazing.
Curbs, schmarbs.
Weird.
(HORNS HONKING)
(SNIFFS) (RETCHES)
(CHUCKLES) Dadgum, five teeth.
I'm ahead of schedule. I'm good.
What's going on?
No, it's wearing off.
(CLOCK BELL CHIMING)
I've gotta get back to the house!
(LAUGHS) Just gonna make it.
Oh, man. What is he doing here?
It's about time you showed up!
Not now. As you can tell, I'm in the middle of something.
- I'm doing some fairying. - Hey, you ruined my wedding.
And then you try to big league me?
- I ruined your wedding? - Yeah, idiot.
Brooke called off the wedding because of you.
What? How'd I do that?
She wants to be with someone whose best memory is of her.
And apparently that someone is you!
You cost me the election.
Now it's time for payback...
(BO WHIMPERING)
She wants to be with me.
- She loves me. She loves me! (BO SCREAMING)
Ooh.
Mv bad!
Larry, I won't forget about this, you son of a...
Now you will.
(SIGHING) (CLOCK BELL CHIMING)
Oh, man. Time to save that memory. (LAUGHS)
(CHEERING)
Whoa! Brake! Brakes!
(THUDDING)
Cutting it a little close there, aren't you?
Well.
Just keeping it interesting.
Well, mission accomplished, in every sense.
And now that you've met your quota,
I hereby restore your greatest memory.
Thanks.
You ever need a temporary tooth fairy at some point in time, give me a holler.
You know, I might just take you up on that.
I'm gonna miss you, kid.
Oh, sorry, I mean old lady.
I guess it's time to redecorate now.
No, not again.
(LAUGHS) Jackpot!
(READING)
Thank you, Nyx.
TV ANNOUNCER: Brown has it, drops back, fakes to Wilson.
Hits Terry over the middle. That's for a quick gain of four yards.
LARRY: Oh, oh, oh. 40, 30, 20,10... ERNIE: Yeah, come on! Come on!
(ALL CHEERING)
Here's some dip for you boys,
and I'll get you some chili in a second, okay?
Honey, let me get that chili for you.
You don't need to be walking. Look at you. Look at that, boys.
There's the next football star, right there.
Hey, you still having the cravings for moon pies?
Actually, I have this crazy hankering for sardines right now.
HANK: Sardines? ERNIE: Sardines?
Sardines? Let me run and get you some.
Honey, you don't have to go right now.
No, relax. It'll just take a second.
Keep watching. I'll be right back.
Tell me what happens.
Look, I know I offered to help you if you ever needed me,
but five minutes before halftime? You gotta be joking.
The regional tooth fairy called in sick, so I need someone to fill in.
The regional tooth fairy called in sick. He never does any work.
(SIGHS) Can it wait till after the game?
Evidently that means no.
Tell you what.
You get this tooth, and I won't mess with you for the rest of football season.
Yeah, I'll believe that when I see pigs fly.
Funny you should say that.
- LARRY: You got to be kidding me. (CRUSHER SNORTING)
Well, I didn't expect to see that.
I thought you could use a little help. Actually, all the help you could get.
Well, Crusher, you hear that? Looks like you and me's partners.
Well, what are you waiting for? Go get me that tooth.
Hey, Crusher, we're like a superhero team now flying around up here.
"We can call ourselves “Fat Man and Hoggin'."
(CRUSHER SNORTS) - All right, never mind.
Like a Popsicle on a hot day.
It almost seems to take my breath away.
The simple things in life.
Make you think twice on who you are.
What you're living.
Are you givin'.
A little bit of joy.
Sand between your toes.
Makes you know that you don't need.
All those fancy clothes.
Let a smile shine in.
And you'll be living in who you are.
What you're saying.
Is your heart an open door?
'Cause the wind can lead.
To a positive scene.
Make a grin at the little things.
Such as the world proving I need a beat.
Yeah, yeah.
Like a Popsicle on a hot day.
It almost seems to take my breath away.
The simple things in life.
Make you think twice on who you are.
What you're living.
Are you givin'.
A little bit of joy.
Sand between your toes.
Makes you know that you don't need.
All those fancy clothes.
Let a smile shine in.
And you'll be living in who you are.
What you're saying.
Is your heart an open door?
English - US - SDH