1 00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,579 I suppose we could just fire him 2 00:02:10,816 --> 00:02:13,007 Of course, we'll have to give him three months notice 3 00:02:13,602 --> 00:02:15,348 Stuff and nonsense. Leave it to me 4 00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:19,471 I'll talk to the chairman and insist on Mr Bean's immediate dismissal 5 00:02:19,814 --> 00:02:21,695 Now, then back to the agenda 6 00:02:21,997 --> 00:02:24,043 The Grierson Gallery of California 7 00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:28,718 Has recently received a private donation of 50 million dollars 8 00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:32,144 To spend on buying Whistler's portrait of his mother 9 00:02:32,477 --> 00:02:34,608 From the Musée d'Orsay in Paris 10 00:02:35,116 --> 00:02:36,434 It is quite simply 11 00:02:36,561 --> 00:02:41,646 The most historic purchase made by an American gallery this century 12 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,114 It's as simple as this 13 00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:49,825 The greatest painting ever by an American artist 14 00:02:50,114 --> 00:02:52,293 is returning at last to America 15 00:02:53,141 --> 00:02:56,776 From now on, Whistler's Mother lives right here in Los Angeles 16 00:02:57,062 --> 00:02:58,173 where she belongs 17 00:02:58,364 --> 00:03:00,292 When will we actually see her? 18 00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:03,115 The unveiling will be in about two weeks, and you're all invited 19 00:03:05,623 --> 00:03:09,188 They've asked us to send a scholar of great weight and substance 20 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,354 to preside over the ceremony 21 00:03:11,475 --> 00:03:15,242 and stay on for a couple of months of lectures and seminars 22 00:03:15,742 --> 00:03:18,276 Dr Rosenblum, Dr Cutler 23 00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:23,638 you both hold high claim on this great honour 24 00:03:26,345 --> 00:03:29,605 -The chairman is here, sir -Excellent. Send him in 25 00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:31,701 Oh, and run and fetch Mr Bean, will you? 26 00:03:32,891 --> 00:03:35,507 -We're about to fire him -Marvellous 27 00:03:36,046 --> 00:03:40,440 Yes, Mr Bean is the worst employee in the gallery's history 28 00:04:22,893 --> 00:04:24,418 Good afternoon, sir 29 00:04:26,509 --> 00:04:27,716 Sit down. Sit down 30 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:31,789 Now, before we move on to the major business of the day 31 00:04:31,947 --> 00:04:34,424 I should like to broach the question of Mr Bean 32 00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:37,344 Now, Mr Bean has worked for us for many years 33 00:04:37,471 --> 00:04:39,770 And will for many years to come 34 00:04:40,524 --> 00:04:44,923 I employed this splendid young man when I was doing your job Charles 35 00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:48,733 and you can have my resignation if you go anywhere near him 36 00:05:49,318 --> 00:05:50,437 He's a fine young fellow 37 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:53,323 Absolutely. Quite right 38 00:05:55,077 --> 00:05:56,410 Very well , moving on 39 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:03,501 The Grierson Gallery of California needs a representative of our great gallery 40 00:06:04,128 --> 00:06:07,848 They're looking for a scholar of a very high standing 41 00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:11,480 I have therefore decided to recommend for the post 42 00:06:11,885 --> 00:06:15,874 and the three month sabbatical that goes with it 43 00:06:16,197 --> 00:06:18,101 that splendid employee 44 00:06:19,427 --> 00:06:20,472 Mr Bean 45 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,730 All those in favour? 46 00:06:25,778 --> 00:06:26,794 Yes! 47 00:06:26,842 --> 00:06:28,953 Excellent. Carried 48 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:32,403 Our loss is America's gain 49 00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:35,694 David 50 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,432 Got a letter from the Royal National Gallery 51 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,938 They're recommending a guy called Bean to represent them 52 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:43,668 Bean? 53 00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:45,176 I can't say I've heard of him 54 00:06:45,431 --> 00:06:47,890 Well , the letter's signed by Drs Rosenblum and Cutler 55 00:06:48,231 --> 00:06:50,366 -Well , that's impressive -They say 56 00:06:50,391 --> 00:06:54,057 "He is a man whose incontrovertible genius dwarfs our own meagre talents" 57 00:06:54,176 --> 00:06:56,054 Rosenblum and Cutler said that? 58 00:06:56,269 --> 00:06:58,999 Well , you asked for England's top man. I do believe I delivered him 59 00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:00,624 He certainly sounds like it 60 00:07:01,118 --> 00:07:03,189 However , before we confirm 61 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:06,098 Bernice here still feels that we'd get more media attention 62 00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:08,880 if we had someone from let's say , the entertainment industry 63 00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:13,838 I genuinely believe that we could get Jon Bon Jovi 64 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:16,846 Jon Bon Jovi? 65 00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:19,761 -To unveil Whistler's Mother? -Yes 66 00:07:21,506 --> 00:07:23,363 I've nothing against Jon Bon Jovi 67 00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:26,496 The man has had two great hairstyles in the last 10 years 68 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,709 which is an achievement not to be sniffed at 69 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,134 but so far as I know 70 00:07:30,198 --> 00:07:34,822 Mr Jovi knows absolutely nothing about 19th-century lmpressionism 71 00:07:34,929 --> 00:07:37,302 He certainly hasn't mentioned it in any of his recent songs 72 00:07:37,364 --> 00:07:40,459 -No, but David... -This is not a rock video 73 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:43,749 This is a great and serious work of art 74 00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:46,960 and Dr Bean will give the occasion depth and dignity 75 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,150 -You're right. We go with Bean -George... 76 00:07:52,198 --> 00:07:54,650 No, no, no, no, David's our curator 77 00:07:54,944 --> 00:07:58,759 This is David's call. It's his decision , his responsibility 78 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,695 ultimately , his neck 79 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:06,872 -And where do you want him to stay? -I have a rather interesting idea 80 00:08:07,349 --> 00:08:08,515 Here? 81 00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:12,300 In our house for two months? 82 00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:16,678 David , what suddenly there's no hotels in Los Angeles? 83 00:08:16,718 --> 00:08:19,419 Okay , there's no need to get excited here. I just thought you know 84 00:08:19,509 --> 00:08:22,182 this is the Royal National Gallery of England's top man 85 00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:24,840 And I thought he'd be very exciting to have around 86 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,925 to learn from and talk to and... 87 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,171 So do we know anything about our new best friend? 88 00:08:29,298 --> 00:08:32,772 No, but I think they might have mentioned it if he was a notorious serial killer 89 00:08:32,944 --> 00:08:35,346 Are you feeling lucky, punk? 90 00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:40,035 David , you know we have an expression in this country 91 00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:42,202 -lt says , "Over my dead body" -Ali 92 00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:45,129 I'd like to put it on the table right here and now 93 00:08:45,248 --> 00:08:47,817 This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity 94 00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:50,045 And it could be seriously great for the kids 95 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:54,345 -You're kidding -Come on, it's gonna be great! 96 00:08:54,646 --> 00:08:56,265 Let's say there is a chart 97 00:08:56,471 --> 00:08:59,418 of the most intelligent people you've ever met in your life 98 00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:02,442 Well, at number one with a bullet is Dr Bean 99 00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:05,335 Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer? 100 00:09:05,465 --> 00:09:07,753 Like , "What is an intrauterine device?" 101 00:09:08,436 --> 00:09:10,690 Well , I think more like "What's the meaning of life?" 102 00:09:10,904 --> 00:09:13,560 -I never asked you that -That's fine. It doesn't matter 103 00:09:13,608 --> 00:09:18,562 What I am saying here is that Dr Bean is a very remarkable man 104 00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:21,253 Hey , for all you know he could be very cute 105 00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:27,655 Oh , come on the guy is gonna be a creep. All Englishmen are ugly 106 00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:30,104 I just look at Prince Charles and weep 107 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,366 Okay, so he's gonna look like Meat Loaf's butt 108 00:09:32,477 --> 00:09:34,189 Yeah , and that's if we get lucky 109 00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:36,863 Jennifer , no one is asking you to marry him 110 00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:39,504 You know , I don't know why we have these family conferences 111 00:09:39,551 --> 00:09:41,575 if Dad's already made up his mind 112 00:09:41,639 --> 00:09:44,025 -Perceptive child -Hey , what's wrong with Meat Loaf's butt? 113 00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:46,382 Oh , come on everybody it's gonna be great! 114 00:09:46,621 --> 00:09:49,542 Dr Bean is a genius of the very highest order 115 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:51,256 Good evening 116 00:09:53,286 --> 00:09:56,302 Ah..No, sir, you're in fact in first class 117 00:09:56,695 --> 00:09:57,726 Good evening 118 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,579 Good evening, sir. May I take your coat? 119 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,500 Thank you 120 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,516 Good. Simple poster, nice and big 121 00:10:54,706 --> 00:10:57,317 It's actual size. A bargain at 9.99$ 122 00:10:57,437 --> 00:10:59,316 - Spencer? -Yes, sir 123 00:11:01,197 --> 00:11:02,316 Bath towel 124 00:11:03,237 --> 00:11:05,535 Yeah , pushing your luck a little here, Walter 125 00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:06,826 It'll sell 126 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:15,578 -It's Whistler's Sister -Oh , you are kidding 127 00:11:15,697 --> 00:11:19,369 No, sir, we have a range for every member of the family 128 00:11:20,131 --> 00:11:23,181 Whistler's Mother's Cookies, chocolate chip 129 00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:25,205 Whistler's Father's Beer Mug 130 00:11:26,022 --> 00:11:28,477 and here's a really cute one for the younger-brother range 131 00:11:28,699 --> 00:11:30,019 -Whistler's Whistle - Yeah 132 00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,525 -You just blow up her ass. Here, try -Yeah, yeah, yeah, l... 133 00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:39,995 Mummy, I don't feel well 134 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:04,600 I think I'm gonna be sick 135 00:12:22,301 --> 00:12:24,629 -Just here, sir - Your attention , please 136 00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:27,578 Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport 137 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:31,394 Do not leave baggage or other items unattended 138 00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:38,425 Any second now. I think we're looking for a Brad Pitt look-alike 139 00:13:20,506 --> 00:13:21,577 Police! 140 00:13:22,816 --> 00:13:24,411 Get on him now! Move it! 141 00:13:28,799 --> 00:13:32,431 In pursuit of a 415. Male with a gun heading into zone 10, terminal 2 142 00:13:32,471 --> 00:13:33,685 Get your people over here now! 143 00:13:33,764 --> 00:13:35,304 Get out of the way! Get out of the way! 144 00:13:35,373 --> 00:13:37,166 Move it.. Move , Move , Move 145 00:13:38,071 --> 00:13:39,238 Police! Coming through! 146 00:13:45,582 --> 00:13:47,947 Move..Move , police 147 00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:49,866 Everyone on the floor now! 148 00:13:52,517 --> 00:13:55,612 -Not you, sweetie -Oh, right 149 00:14:00,061 --> 00:14:04,648 Carefully take out your weapon, holding the butt with two fingers only 150 00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:10,022 Slowly place it on the floor and take three steps back 151 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,340 -What is this? -I don't know. Weird 152 00:15:00,142 --> 00:15:03,507 Mr Bean, are you presently on any kind of medication? 153 00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:06,124 Not that I know of 154 00:15:07,592 --> 00:15:09,457 Well, you can certainly use some 155 00:15:23,416 --> 00:15:26,551 -So, Doctor... -Bean 156 00:15:26,781 --> 00:15:30,854 Yes, okay, Dr Bean. Well, you made it 157 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,243 Nice flight? 158 00:15:41,538 --> 00:15:43,078 Well, this is Kevin 159 00:15:45,106 --> 00:15:48,090 and this is Jennifer. She's been very excited about meeting you 160 00:15:49,042 --> 00:15:50,557 My wife, Alison 161 00:15:55,257 --> 00:15:58,233 David, could I just have the tiniest talk with you in the kitchen? 162 00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,984 All right, yeah. We're just gonna... 163 00:16:05,489 --> 00:16:08,751 I appreciate that on first viewing he seems a little eccentric 164 00:16:08,894 --> 00:16:10,536 David, there are Martians 165 00:16:10,561 --> 00:16:12,812 who have been exiled from Mars for looking weird 166 00:16:12,868 --> 00:16:14,471 who look less weird than this guy 167 00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:15,809 He has an original quality 168 00:16:15,897 --> 00:16:17,373 -He goes today -But every time 169 00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:31,459 Wow! That was amazing! 170 00:16:31,904 --> 00:16:35,094 That's really cool. Hey, can you do this? 171 00:16:38,486 --> 00:16:40,835 No, but I can do this 172 00:16:42,486 --> 00:16:45,158 Neat! Wow! How do you do that? 173 00:16:46,325 --> 00:16:47,436 Magic 174 00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:49,196 -Okay, so you're gonna tell him? -I'll do it. Yes 175 00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:50,870 -Today? -Yes, today, today, today 176 00:16:50,948 --> 00:16:52,557 -Today seems like a good day -Good 177 00:17:15,712 --> 00:17:18,021 Well, sir, an unorthodox start 178 00:17:19,894 --> 00:17:23,995 I guess I never expected things with a man of your calibre to be normal 179 00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:29,119 I gotta confess. I've never actually read anything you've written 180 00:17:29,818 --> 00:17:33,109 Tell me, Doctor, what exactly is your position at the gallery? 181 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,676 I sit in the corner 182 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,575 and look at the paintings 183 00:17:42,097 --> 00:17:43,543 That is brilliant! 184 00:17:44,186 --> 00:17:47,755 If only more scholars would do that, you know, just sit and look 185 00:17:47,945 --> 00:17:50,525 You know, not lecture and write and argue 186 00:17:50,675 --> 00:17:52,982 just sit and look at the paintings themselves 187 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,022 Now, that is brilliant. Yeah 188 00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:05,166 -Morning, Elmer -Good morning , sir 189 00:18:05,366 --> 00:18:06,580 Dr Bean? 190 00:18:08,324 --> 00:18:09,887 If you'd like to sign in, sir? 191 00:18:15,484 --> 00:18:18,238 Thank you. Welcome to the Grierson, Dr Bean 192 00:18:24,153 --> 00:18:25,701 Welcome to my world 193 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,899 We're expected in Grierson's office at 9:00 a.m 194 00:18:32,938 --> 00:18:35,930 Now, this is a man who does not like to be kept waiting, so if you... 195 00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:39,140 -Do you mind if l... -Yeah, okay, absolutely. You bet 196 00:18:40,092 --> 00:18:41,457 All right 197 00:20:14,716 --> 00:20:15,732 Hi 198 00:20:34,561 --> 00:20:37,310 Doctor, we should make a move. We're very late 199 00:20:55,869 --> 00:21:00,242 Oh. We... Doctor, we... If... When you're ready 200 00:21:01,046 --> 00:21:02,046 Okay 201 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,222 Ah..David , finally 202 00:21:12,425 --> 00:21:14,425 And this must be our professor from across the sea 203 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,353 Yes, George Grierson, this is Dr Bean 204 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,097 I'm delighted, Doctor 205 00:21:19,272 --> 00:21:20,534 -Actually, I'm not... - Dr Bean? 206 00:21:20,565 --> 00:21:22,367 -Dr Bean? -Can we get a photo, please, sir? 207 00:21:22,597 --> 00:21:24,843 -Right here. -We've heard a great deal about you, Doctor 208 00:21:24,946 --> 00:21:27,176 - Thank you, gentlemen -We expect a great deal of you 209 00:21:29,041 --> 00:21:32,461 -And this is Bernice, in charge of PR -An absolute honour, Doctor 210 00:21:32,636 --> 00:21:35,757 All right, thank you. And Walter Huntley our merchandise manager 211 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,549 -Nice to meet you -Moving along. Take a seat, Doctor 212 00:21:40,961 --> 00:21:42,953 Thank you. Here, let me take that old thing 213 00:21:44,096 --> 00:21:47,098 This is very out-of-date Thank you. 214 00:21:47,554 --> 00:21:51,618 Before we settle in, you might want to feast your eyes on these 215 00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:07,154 Well, I'll be honest with you, Bean I like this 216 00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:11,197 It's beautiful , sir. I think it is , yeah 217 00:22:12,769 --> 00:22:14,311 -Over here -Okay 218 00:22:25,584 --> 00:22:27,346 That's a lovely green there 219 00:22:28,703 --> 00:22:31,153 -Good. Good. Down to business -Okay 220 00:22:32,073 --> 00:22:35,556 I've asked Bernice to run through the order of events for the opening 221 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,707 Dr Bean , would you like to join us? 222 00:22:38,604 --> 00:22:41,784 No. No, I'll just... 223 00:22:43,149 --> 00:22:46,164 Very well. Bernice? 224 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,074 Now, you will note that anything pertaining to special media requirements 225 00:22:50,149 --> 00:22:52,193 is prefixed with an asteris 226 00:22:52,678 --> 00:22:57,320 i.e. glossy stills requested by some of the favoured weeklies , that sort of thing 227 00:22:57,609 --> 00:23:01,562 Right. So the big day unfolds as follows 228 00:23:01,752 --> 00:23:03,789 Our generous benefactor, General Newton 229 00:23:03,845 --> 00:23:06,543 will be arriving at 10:00 a.m to meet the members of the staff 230 00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:09,552 Then , at 10:30 we'll have the unveiling of the picture 231 00:23:09,742 --> 00:23:12,211 Now, this will be in front of all press and media 232 00:23:12,567 --> 00:23:15,781 Walter, I'm assuming all this merchandising is gonna be made available? 233 00:23:16,014 --> 00:23:18,976 Oh, absolutely. From fridge magnets to Frisbees, we'll be ready 234 00:23:19,087 --> 00:23:24,775 So it will probably be at about 11:00 a.m when the stage is set for Dr Bean 235 00:23:25,878 --> 00:23:27,926 Yes, all right, we really... 236 00:23:28,346 --> 00:23:30,521 We really should bring in the doctor here 237 00:23:39,582 --> 00:23:40,716 Dr Bean? 238 00:23:52,122 --> 00:23:55,995 Doctor, we've just been inspecting the schedule, and... 239 00:23:56,702 --> 00:24:00,168 If you would just like to take a look at yours right over there at your convenience? 240 00:24:00,207 --> 00:24:02,603 Ah.The general should be arriving at 10:00 a.m 241 00:24:02,714 --> 00:24:05,211 And he'll unveil the picture at 10:30 242 00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:08,913 so at about 11:00, we should be ready for your speech 243 00:24:10,993 --> 00:24:15,739 Yes, and I think 20 minutes should be long enough 244 00:24:16,144 --> 00:24:18,035 -Don't you , Bernice? -Absolutely 245 00:24:18,225 --> 00:24:20,068 I know you could fill hours, Doctor 246 00:24:20,219 --> 00:24:23,489 but for the press, it would be best if you could keep it quite light 247 00:24:23,711 --> 00:24:26,973 Maybe throw in some anecdotes about the actual painting of the picture 248 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:30,686 Ah..and explain why it is considered to be America's greatest painting 249 00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:36,536 Is that going to be enough, Doctor, 20 minutes? 250 00:24:40,742 --> 00:24:44,064 Well, dear friends, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch with the Mayor 251 00:24:44,297 --> 00:24:47,111 Not the kind of thing I like, but duty calls 252 00:24:47,317 --> 00:24:49,309 Well, Doctor, it's good to meet you 253 00:24:49,547 --> 00:24:52,335 It's a complex experience 254 00:24:53,076 --> 00:24:56,980 Enjoy your stay with David. They're simple people but warm 255 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,601 -David, if I may have just a private word? -Okay 256 00:25:01,228 --> 00:25:03,680 I tell you, why don't you wait for me back at the new acquisitions? 257 00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:05,870 I'll join you shortly. Yeah 258 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:16,921 -He's a genius, right? -Yeah, he's eccentric, but... 259 00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:18,613 -Yes -Yeah 260 00:25:22,073 --> 00:25:26,025 The unveiling of Whistler's Mother is the most important thing 261 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:28,231 to ever happen to this gallery 262 00:25:29,033 --> 00:25:31,393 and Dr Bean was your choice 263 00:25:31,893 --> 00:25:33,996 Yes, I understand that 264 00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:36,561 Thank you, sir 265 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:55,038 Dr Bean, when we get home, I wonder... 266 00:25:56,379 --> 00:25:58,607 When we get home, I wonder if you would mind 267 00:25:58,813 --> 00:26:01,043 giving me a private moment with my wife 268 00:26:01,344 --> 00:26:03,860 There's a little something we need to work out 269 00:26:04,082 --> 00:26:05,182 No problem 270 00:26:15,648 --> 00:26:18,862 Yeah, I think... Just wait in here would be good 271 00:26:19,354 --> 00:26:22,794 Oh, just ignore that Her mother gave it to us 272 00:26:22,993 --> 00:26:25,466 Huge sentimental value, you know, so... 273 00:26:26,188 --> 00:26:29,505 Just make yourself at home. I'll be just a couple of minutes with Alison 274 00:26:35,936 --> 00:26:39,738 Oh, Doctor. I would actually not do that 275 00:26:40,055 --> 00:26:43,891 That's a limited edition It's that it's delicate, so if you... 276 00:26:44,122 --> 00:26:47,315 Or, yeah, if... Put it there would be good. Yeah 277 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:48,807 Okay, that's... All right 278 00:26:55,346 --> 00:26:57,061 -Hi -Hi 279 00:26:58,330 --> 00:26:59,330 No Dr Bean? 280 00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:01,449 Well, actually, no, he is still here, but let me... 281 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,255 -Jennifer! Kevin! -I just want us... I just want us... 282 00:27:04,461 --> 00:27:05,421 Plan B! 283 00:27:05,446 --> 00:27:07,959 You have luggage packed? What is Plan B? 284 00:27:08,152 --> 00:27:09,157 Plan B is 285 00:27:09,189 --> 00:27:12,078 if you haven't gotten rid of Dr Bean, we go straight to Grandma's 286 00:27:12,142 --> 00:27:14,124 -I can't believe you... -Screwed up again, huh, Dad? 287 00:27:14,155 --> 00:27:16,695 Oh, come on, there was no time to raise the subject! 288 00:27:16,751 --> 00:27:20,637 -Kevin, start the car, would you, sweetie? -Oh, Ali, wait a second and look 289 00:27:20,756 --> 00:27:25,198 No, you look, David, my darling I have asked very little from you 290 00:27:25,266 --> 00:27:28,857 but I did ask you to get rid of Dr Bean, and you have made your choice 291 00:27:28,976 --> 00:27:31,024 so you two can stay here 292 00:27:31,087 --> 00:27:33,108 and really come to grips with postmodernism 293 00:27:33,378 --> 00:27:35,703 but I am taking our children to my mother's 294 00:27:35,782 --> 00:27:38,449 Just give him one last chance 295 00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:41,241 -Oh, David... -Just one 296 00:27:41,566 --> 00:27:42,984 Please? 297 00:27:45,143 --> 00:27:47,436 Okay. Okay 298 00:27:47,714 --> 00:27:48,777 -Thank you -All right 299 00:27:48,857 --> 00:27:51,331 Thanks. Once you get to know him 300 00:27:51,386 --> 00:27:53,068 -I think you're gonna... -David, don't 301 00:27:59,141 --> 00:28:01,165 -Hello, Doctor -Hello 302 00:28:04,217 --> 00:28:06,836 No, no, no, no, Doctor, that is not for the TV. That's for the... 303 00:28:21,830 --> 00:28:27,207 Yeah, well, there they go 304 00:28:34,811 --> 00:28:37,763 Well, Doctor, we've got the whole weekend together 305 00:28:39,184 --> 00:28:42,765 Yeah, get to know each other and... 306 00:28:44,797 --> 00:28:47,143 I was thinking tomorrow we might really do LA 307 00:28:47,682 --> 00:28:51,952 There's the Gallery of American lndian Art There's the California State Gallery 308 00:28:52,325 --> 00:28:54,317 There's actually this new place, the Rabowitz 309 00:28:54,388 --> 00:28:58,021 which is kind of the place for abstract expressionism 310 00:28:58,172 --> 00:29:00,997 Does that sound good to you? 311 00:29:03,904 --> 00:29:05,443 Maybe you have something else in mind? 312 00:30:13,568 --> 00:30:14,933 Incredible 313 00:30:15,870 --> 00:30:16,878 You set? 314 00:30:25,479 --> 00:30:28,693 Why don't you get another ticket? Could be more fun second time round 315 00:30:47,803 --> 00:30:48,827 Okay 316 00:30:52,923 --> 00:30:55,383 Brace yourself 317 00:32:23,029 --> 00:32:26,307 -He's a genius, huh? -That's what they tell me 318 00:32:35,051 --> 00:32:37,257 Well, he looks like a fruitcake to me 319 00:32:41,271 --> 00:32:43,454 Are you willing to take responsibility for his actions? 320 00:32:47,814 --> 00:32:49,639 Well, you're a braver man than me 321 00:32:50,067 --> 00:32:53,493 and I single-handedly take on gangs armed with AK-47s 322 00:32:56,088 --> 00:33:00,040 Get him out of here. Tell him he is a butt I would dearly love to kick 323 00:33:01,150 --> 00:33:03,008 and the next time, I will 324 00:33:07,309 --> 00:33:12,187 Doctor, there is something we have to talk about 325 00:33:13,338 --> 00:33:16,663 and I don't quite know how to put this 326 00:33:18,365 --> 00:33:21,198 What I am concerned about is... 327 00:33:21,420 --> 00:33:23,703 Whoever that is, I am getting rid of them 328 00:33:27,087 --> 00:33:29,206 There he is 329 00:33:29,365 --> 00:33:31,960 David, sorry we're late 330 00:33:34,684 --> 00:33:36,319 The traffic! Oh, terrible 331 00:33:36,390 --> 00:33:38,771 You couldn't believe. Every day, it gets worse and worse 332 00:33:38,796 --> 00:33:41,803 -It's just the way she... It's the green -And why? Because nobody's in control 333 00:33:41,864 --> 00:33:45,917 No, it's the yellow. It's just... It's the yellow. She is a... 334 00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:47,814 Well, where is Alison? 335 00:33:47,997 --> 00:33:51,146 Well, I've got some bad news and some good news 336 00:33:51,939 --> 00:33:55,146 The bad news is that Alison has had to go visit her mum 337 00:33:55,249 --> 00:33:58,929 -who, well, is not well -That's too bad 338 00:33:58,992 --> 00:34:01,079 -Gee, the poor thing -Sorry to hear that, David 339 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,811 The good news is that Dr Bean and l will be cooking 340 00:34:05,406 --> 00:34:09,336 -You sure that's good news? -Well, of course it is 341 00:34:09,646 --> 00:34:12,586 All the greatest chefs in the world are men 342 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,552 So what's on the menu, maestro? 343 00:34:16,046 --> 00:34:18,070 How could I forget? 344 00:34:19,125 --> 00:34:20,863 What the hell are we going to give them? 345 00:34:22,956 --> 00:34:25,932 Yes, I think they may be expecting something slightly more formal 346 00:34:29,686 --> 00:34:31,860 An onion? Just on its own? 347 00:34:34,403 --> 00:34:35,601 No, no, don't be ridiculous 348 00:34:35,681 --> 00:34:37,647 That's for Thanksgiving Alison would kill me 349 00:34:37,898 --> 00:34:40,798 No, no, there must be something else 350 00:34:43,074 --> 00:34:46,550 -Have you ever cooked one of these before? -Oh, yes 351 00:34:46,978 --> 00:34:49,414 But anyway, it would take like five hours, right? 352 00:34:50,208 --> 00:34:52,793 Not necessarily 353 00:35:02,095 --> 00:35:04,134 What do you think? Twenty minutes? 354 00:35:04,237 --> 00:35:05,620 I don't know 355 00:35:07,771 --> 00:35:09,049 You're sure this is gonna work? 356 00:35:09,533 --> 00:35:10,398 Okay, you're the chef 357 00:35:10,462 --> 00:35:12,729 Just put on some vegetables and come and say hello 358 00:35:19,345 --> 00:35:20,654 Maestro! 359 00:35:20,805 --> 00:35:24,831 My taste buds are positively tingling with anticipation 360 00:35:32,254 --> 00:35:33,556 No. No, thanks 361 00:35:34,862 --> 00:35:36,909 I think we'll pass on the appetiser 362 00:35:39,322 --> 00:35:42,927 So, Bean, big day Tuesday 363 00:35:43,173 --> 00:35:45,234 your big day, my big day 364 00:35:46,734 --> 00:35:47,954 I have a question for you 365 00:35:54,836 --> 00:35:57,519 He's very attentive to detail 366 00:35:58,908 --> 00:36:01,009 Everything must be just so 367 00:36:20,024 --> 00:36:22,976 Bean, I think we need to be honest with each other 368 00:36:23,817 --> 00:36:26,844 I cannot deny that, over the last days 369 00:36:27,439 --> 00:36:31,292 some suspicions have begun to gather in my mind 370 00:36:31,776 --> 00:36:34,935 and I would just like to ask you some direct questions 371 00:36:35,816 --> 00:36:36,880 okay? 372 00:36:37,952 --> 00:36:42,324 Number one, are you a doctor? 373 00:36:49,268 --> 00:36:50,474 No 374 00:36:53,633 --> 00:36:58,295 Number two, do you know anything about art? 375 00:37:06,438 --> 00:37:08,493 Just for instance here 376 00:37:11,478 --> 00:37:14,859 was Leonardo da Vinci an American basketball player? 377 00:37:27,079 --> 00:37:28,159 Yes 378 00:37:41,498 --> 00:37:42,911 -Hi, Dad -Hi, Dad 379 00:37:43,736 --> 00:37:44,593 Hello, Doctor 380 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,182 -Bye, Dad -Bye, Dad 381 00:38:44,620 --> 00:38:47,192 For God's sake, Bean, what are you doing? 382 00:38:55,973 --> 00:39:01,343 Hello? Mr Grierson, yes. He's just here in the shower with me 383 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,312 Would you give me... 384 00:39:04,685 --> 00:39:06,255 Yes, hello, Mr Grierson 385 00:39:07,635 --> 00:39:11,039 Oh..no no, you must have misunderstood him. What can l... 386 00:39:11,694 --> 00:39:14,845 She is? Oh, thank you for calling me 387 00:39:15,059 --> 00:39:17,699 -Yes, okay. Goodbye -Bye! 388 00:39:23,964 --> 00:39:28,156 I can't believe it. Whistler's Mother has actually arrived in America 389 00:39:28,408 --> 00:39:30,239 Now, listen, I am begging you 390 00:39:30,457 --> 00:39:33,667 as a man whose entire professional career depends on you 391 00:39:33,818 --> 00:39:35,585 behave rationally today 392 00:39:39,053 --> 00:39:40,585 There is no God 393 00:40:10,087 --> 00:40:11,166 What do you think? 394 00:40:15,192 --> 00:40:16,580 Nice frame 395 00:40:17,422 --> 00:40:18,781 She's magnificent 396 00:40:20,270 --> 00:40:24,579 David, well done. Worth every bright green buck! 397 00:40:24,987 --> 00:40:27,074 She's something else, isn't she? 398 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,981 All right, folks, enjoy her while you can. After this morning , we lock her away 399 00:40:33,013 --> 00:40:35,955 until the guy who paid 50 million dollars for her turns up 400 00:40:36,788 --> 00:40:39,214 And, Elmer, I believe we have a security meeting 401 00:40:39,555 --> 00:40:40,603 That's right, sir 402 00:40:40,785 --> 00:40:44,782 And this is your key to the encasement system 403 00:40:44,886 --> 00:40:46,679 There are only two. I have the other one 404 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,114 so if the painting turns up missing, I'll know where to come 405 00:40:51,948 --> 00:40:54,233 And if you could all join me at the security console? 406 00:40:54,456 --> 00:40:55,921 Doctor, why don't you just stay here? 407 00:40:55,969 --> 00:40:59,461 Maybe a look at the real thing will inspire you for your speech 408 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,622 Just stay here. Don't leave this room till I get back, okay? 409 00:41:21,946 --> 00:41:25,700 This chart maps all the security elements for the big day 410 00:41:26,415 --> 00:41:29,285 and as usual in these circumstances, I've given the operation a code name 411 00:41:29,317 --> 00:41:31,603 which is Operation Whistler's Mother 412 00:41:32,389 --> 00:41:35,040 It's not a snazzy title, but I think it works 413 00:42:51,277 --> 00:42:52,754 Fear not, gentlemen 414 00:42:53,071 --> 00:42:55,794 With the system we put in here, nothing will touch that painting 415 00:42:55,819 --> 00:42:58,120 short of an earthquake that brings down the whole gallery 416 00:44:21,959 --> 00:44:24,110 Once we've gotten the general safely inside 417 00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:26,784 the key figure, security-wise, will be Dr Bean 418 00:44:26,856 --> 00:44:29,823 We gotta protect the painting without getting in the good doctor's way 419 00:46:37,709 --> 00:46:39,582 There seems to be a problem with the.. 420 00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,128 door 421 00:47:01,449 --> 00:47:02,949 Where's the picture gone? 422 00:47:09,022 --> 00:47:10,276 What? What? What? What? 423 00:47:21,810 --> 00:47:24,881 Oh, Jesus! Oh, God! Oh, oh Jesus! 424 00:47:24,937 --> 00:47:28,909 God! Oh, Mary, mother of Jesus! Jesus of Nazareth! 425 00:47:34,695 --> 00:47:37,409 Wait a minute. Why am I worrying about this? You did it! 426 00:47:37,648 --> 00:47:39,836 All I have to do is go out and tell them what happened 427 00:47:41,447 --> 00:47:42,447 Perfect! 428 00:47:42,708 --> 00:47:44,756 Then they'll say, "Well, who left him alone with the picture?" 429 00:47:44,970 --> 00:47:46,081 And I say, "Me" 430 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,621 Then they say, "Well, you're fired!" I say, "Fine" 431 00:47:48,954 --> 00:47:50,018 No, no, no, no, no 432 00:47:50,097 --> 00:47:53,117 Then they say, "Firing is not enough. Let's prosecute you for negligence!" 433 00:47:53,450 --> 00:47:57,079 Then I go to jail. My wife leaves me. My daughter becomes a prostitute 434 00:47:57,285 --> 00:48:01,000 I wind up on death row sharing a cell with Butch McDick! 435 00:48:01,325 --> 00:48:03,613 All right, calm down. I just gotta calm down 436 00:48:03,664 --> 00:48:05,029 Okay. Okay 437 00:48:05,346 --> 00:48:07,818 Give me one more look at the painting 438 00:48:08,953 --> 00:48:12,183 Oh, God! Oh, God,God God! 439 00:48:12,230 --> 00:48:15,666 ...which renders the underground ventilation ducts completely secure 440 00:48:15,857 --> 00:48:18,690 -Yes, well, that's good to know -Thank you, sir 441 00:48:41,618 --> 00:48:43,372 Hey, do you drink, Bean? 442 00:48:44,475 --> 00:48:46,848 -No -Good, neither do l 443 00:48:54,306 --> 00:48:57,016 Yeah, this one has extra innings written all over it, doesn't it? 444 00:48:59,113 --> 00:49:01,463 He's got the long-ball threat from the left side 445 00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:04,702 Smith corks one to right field down the line 446 00:49:04,877 --> 00:49:06,361 -Bean -There it goes 447 00:49:06,441 --> 00:49:07,464 It's going 448 00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:12,186 Going crazy, folks! Going crazy! It's a home run! 449 00:49:12,714 --> 00:49:15,436 And the Cardinals have won the... 450 00:49:19,203 --> 00:49:20,219 Carry on 451 00:49:25,166 --> 00:49:27,999 You wanna know what the reality of the situation is? 452 00:49:28,626 --> 00:49:30,951 Okay, this is it 453 00:49:32,396 --> 00:49:35,692 Because you moved into my house, my wife has moved out 454 00:49:36,449 --> 00:49:38,780 Yes, she did. She might have moved out anyway 455 00:49:38,871 --> 00:49:41,816 but that is one, point one 456 00:49:42,094 --> 00:49:43,149 Point two 457 00:49:45,245 --> 00:49:47,253 I've given my life to art 458 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:53,031 and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near 459 00:49:53,213 --> 00:49:55,774 are the pictures I draw on the pavement 460 00:49:55,996 --> 00:49:59,329 hoping passers-by will throw nickels in my hat 461 00:50:00,222 --> 00:50:02,278 I guess the long and the short of it 462 00:50:04,103 --> 00:50:05,740 I wish I'd never been born 463 00:50:19,670 --> 00:50:21,813 Yesterday 464 00:50:23,686 --> 00:50:29,536 All my troubles seemed so far away 465 00:50:31,084 --> 00:50:36,191 Now it looks as though they're here to stay 466 00:50:36,540 --> 00:50:42,497 I believe in yesterday 467 00:50:43,474 --> 00:50:44,911 Suddenly 468 00:50:45,149 --> 00:50:49,066 I'm not half the man I used to be 469 00:50:49,392 --> 00:50:50,407 Oh, no! 470 00:50:50,583 --> 00:50:55,407 There's a shadow hanging over me 471 00:50:55,716 --> 00:51:01,492 I believe in yesterday 472 00:51:02,443 --> 00:51:04,173 Suddenly 473 00:51:08,368 --> 00:51:10,868 Row, row, row, your boat 474 00:51:10,995 --> 00:51:13,317 Gently down the stream 475 00:51:13,563 --> 00:51:16,040 If you see a crocodile 476 00:51:16,310 --> 00:51:19,109 Don't forget to scream..Ahhhh 477 00:51:19,301 --> 00:51:21,688 Splish, splash, splish, splash 478 00:51:21,792 --> 00:51:25,006 Row, row, row your boat 479 00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:27,926 Gently down the stream 480 00:51:28,199 --> 00:51:31,096 If you see a crocodile 481 00:51:31,278 --> 00:51:33,970 Don't forget to scream..Ahhhh 482 00:51:36,161 --> 00:51:38,002 I can explain everything 483 00:51:38,153 --> 00:51:39,986 Okay, explain everything 484 00:51:43,180 --> 00:51:45,974 -It's inexplicable. Ali, listen... -David, no 485 00:51:46,061 --> 00:51:50,649 David, the reason that I came home was because I missed you 486 00:51:50,942 --> 00:51:54,811 and also because I live here, and they live here 487 00:51:54,906 --> 00:51:59,842 but, David, we have been waiting for five hours, and what do we get? 488 00:52:00,278 --> 00:52:03,278 A drunk and his friend from the planet Zog 489 00:52:03,524 --> 00:52:08,290 I know, and it seems like this horrible situation, but if you could... 490 00:52:09,076 --> 00:52:13,359 If you could just hear my full horrific tale... 491 00:52:13,605 --> 00:52:17,756 David, I think I'm gonna have to leave you 492 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:21,145 You are? 493 00:52:25,049 --> 00:52:28,438 Well, then things really have gotten bad 494 00:52:31,796 --> 00:52:32,796 Yeah 495 00:52:56,295 --> 00:52:57,303 Hi, Beanie 496 00:53:01,175 --> 00:53:02,381 Can't sleep, huh? 497 00:53:03,643 --> 00:53:04,644 No 498 00:53:07,493 --> 00:53:11,184 Me, neither. Can't stop thinking about naked women 499 00:53:12,871 --> 00:53:16,212 -What about you? -Whistler's Mother 500 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:18,389 Well, whatever turns you on 501 00:53:25,404 --> 00:53:27,086 Catch you around, moon-man 502 00:53:29,499 --> 00:53:31,885 Oh, if you still can't sleep, come to my room 503 00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:35,163 I got some great posters of Cindy Crawford on my wall 504 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:01,507 Help! Help! 505 00:56:10,385 --> 00:56:11,663 Come on! 506 00:58:31,566 --> 00:58:34,939 Hooray!..Oh ..Ahh 507 00:58:43,636 --> 00:58:46,866 Oh, my God! Oh..Ahh 508 00:58:54,931 --> 00:58:56,415 Jennifer? 509 00:58:57,010 --> 00:58:59,937 No,no,no,no, don't think for one minute you're getting on that bike, Jen 510 00:59:00,006 --> 00:59:01,839 Morning, everyone 511 00:59:03,545 --> 00:59:04,847 Total family rule here 512 00:59:04,878 --> 00:59:06,664 No one is allowed on one of those death traps 513 00:59:06,712 --> 00:59:07,751 You promised me, Jen 514 00:59:07,807 --> 00:59:10,283 And you promised Mum you'd get rid of Dr Freako 515 00:59:27,272 --> 00:59:30,026 Don't talk to me. I am trying to think what I'm going to do 516 00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:36,775 -Well... -Quiet! 517 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:13,918 What a pleasure, sir. Welcome to our humble abode 518 01:00:14,616 --> 01:00:16,973 Not too humble, I hope. I'm expecting lunch 519 01:00:17,029 --> 01:00:20,290 -Of course. General, right this way -After you, sir. After you 520 01:00:26,681 --> 01:00:27,880 Glad you could make it 521 01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:32,322 -Where the hell have you been? -I am sorry. Trouble at home 522 01:00:32,385 --> 01:00:34,028 -Never mind.Come along -Sir, there is something.. 523 01:00:34,084 --> 01:00:36,756 General, I'd like you to meet our curator, David Langley 524 01:00:36,812 --> 01:00:38,947 -I'm delighted to meet you, sir -Of course you are 525 01:00:39,454 --> 01:00:40,801 Right through here, sir 526 01:00:53,698 --> 01:00:56,825 Ladies and gentlemen, this is a great moment for America 527 01:00:57,524 --> 01:01:01,101 and for one very special lady, Whistler's Mother 528 01:01:05,744 --> 01:01:09,244 And she's here today, thanks to our great and good benefactor 529 01:01:10,204 --> 01:01:15,813 Will you join me in saluting a soldier, philanthropist, loving father... 530 01:01:17,355 --> 01:01:20,699 and an extremely generous patron of the arts, General Newton? 531 01:01:23,657 --> 01:01:25,474 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen 532 01:01:26,633 --> 01:01:29,448 I am not a traditional art lover 533 01:01:29,764 --> 01:01:33,307 I don't know the difference between a Picasso and a car crash 534 01:01:33,688 --> 01:01:35,283 but I love my country 535 01:01:35,482 --> 01:01:38,104 I can't stand the idea of a bunch of Frenchies 536 01:01:38,342 --> 01:01:40,380 owning America's greatest painting 537 01:01:40,579 --> 01:01:41,627 Let's get on with it 538 01:01:50,623 --> 01:01:52,265 Welcome home, Ma 539 01:02:23,147 --> 01:02:25,814 Whatever you did, you're a genius, and I love you 540 01:02:26,885 --> 01:02:28,734 It's a poster 541 01:02:29,035 --> 01:02:30,160 It's a what? 542 01:02:30,311 --> 01:02:33,054 -David? It's time -Time for what? 543 01:02:33,163 --> 01:02:34,796 -The speech -What? Wait. What speech? 544 01:02:34,821 --> 01:02:37,774 -Congratulations, David -Dr Bean's speech about the painting 545 01:02:38,210 --> 01:02:39,900 Yes, of course, the speech 546 01:02:42,398 --> 01:02:44,620 Now, Doctor, try to keep it below an hour 547 01:02:45,247 --> 01:02:47,699 and if there could be one joke in it , that would be nice 548 01:02:48,064 --> 01:02:52,027 Good Morning America couldn't give a flying monkey about "isms" and... 549 01:02:52,725 --> 01:02:54,923 -Oh, you know what I mean -Yeah 550 01:02:57,801 --> 01:02:59,951 -lt doesn't have to go on for long. Just... - Dr Bean? 551 01:02:59,991 --> 01:03:01,719 -Just...just -We're ready for you. Right this way 552 01:03:01,767 --> 01:03:04,537 Just... Just... Just... 553 01:03:05,149 --> 01:03:08,173 And now, for the second highlight of our day 554 01:03:08,411 --> 01:03:12,966 Dr Bean, a great English art scholar, is here to speak for a few minutes 555 01:03:13,037 --> 01:03:14,622 not too long, Doctor 556 01:03:15,082 --> 01:03:16,706 on the subject of our new purchase 557 01:03:16,732 --> 01:03:19,897 Ladies and gentlemen, Dr Bean of the National Gallery of England 558 01:03:36,873 --> 01:03:41,412 Well, hello, I'm Dr Bean 559 01:03:42,528 --> 01:03:43,869 apparently 560 01:03:46,179 --> 01:03:48,303 and my job 561 01:03:48,946 --> 01:03:52,388 is to sit and look at paintings 562 01:04:01,301 --> 01:04:03,055 So...hmm 563 01:04:03,848 --> 01:04:05,848 what have I learnt... 564 01:04:06,336 --> 01:04:09,959 that I can say about this painting? 565 01:04:14,552 --> 01:04:15,599 Well... 566 01:04:15,679 --> 01:04:18,877 Well, firstly, it's quite big 567 01:04:20,163 --> 01:04:21,827 which is excellent 568 01:04:22,629 --> 01:04:25,232 because if it was really small 569 01:04:25,660 --> 01:04:28,441 you know, microscopic 570 01:04:28,766 --> 01:04:31,456 then hardly anybody would be able to see it 571 01:04:32,258 --> 01:04:34,589 which would be a tremendous shame 572 01:04:36,525 --> 01:04:37,697 Secondly 573 01:04:39,245 --> 01:04:41,467 and I'm getting quite near the end now 574 01:04:41,522 --> 01:04:46,633 of this analysis of this painting... 575 01:04:49,086 --> 01:04:50,546 Secondly 576 01:04:54,641 --> 01:04:58,435 why was it worth this man here 577 01:04:58,689 --> 01:05:04,898 spending 50 million of your American dollars on this portrait? 578 01:05:06,215 --> 01:05:08,699 And the answer is 579 01:05:10,183 --> 01:05:15,414 well, this picture is worth such a lot of money 580 01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:16,944 Because 581 01:05:20,767 --> 01:05:26,803 It's a picture of Whistler's mother 582 01:05:28,263 --> 01:05:34,665 and as I've learnt by staying with my best friend 583 01:05:35,248 --> 01:05:38,070 David Langley, and his family 584 01:05:39,062 --> 01:05:42,512 families are very important 585 01:05:43,536 --> 01:05:48,451 and even though Mr Whistler was perfectly aware 586 01:05:49,435 --> 01:05:53,250 that his mother was a hideous old bat 587 01:05:53,315 --> 01:05:56,965 who looked like she had a cactus lodged up her backside 588 01:05:58,340 --> 01:05:59,999 he stuck with her 589 01:06:00,777 --> 01:06:06,163 and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her 590 01:06:07,679 --> 01:06:09,505 It's not just a painting 591 01:06:10,758 --> 01:06:14,755 It's a picture of a mad old cow 592 01:06:15,676 --> 01:06:17,673 who he thought the world of 593 01:06:19,356 --> 01:06:21,427 and that's marvellous 594 01:06:23,361 --> 01:06:25,083 Well, that's what I think, anyway 595 01:06:59,949 --> 01:07:02,902 -Home and dry -Where did you put the original? 596 01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:08,310 Mr Langley, may I have a word? 597 01:07:10,170 --> 01:07:11,480 Stay here. Shut up 598 01:07:12,194 --> 01:07:14,818 -Mr Langley... -Okay, I can explain everything 599 01:07:15,398 --> 01:07:17,231 -What can you explain? -About the painting 600 01:07:17,342 --> 01:07:19,270 -Which painting? -Whistler's Mother 601 01:07:20,373 --> 01:07:23,198 I'm afraid, Mr Langley, I'm here in my capacity as a police officer 602 01:07:23,381 --> 01:07:24,634 not as an art lover 603 01:07:24,889 --> 01:07:28,103 It's about your daughter. She's been in a motorcycle accident 604 01:07:56,625 --> 01:07:59,821 Damn! Request emergency clearance for 809-Adam 605 01:07:59,908 --> 01:08:01,107 Shut up! 606 01:08:03,334 --> 01:08:04,564 211 in progress 607 01:08:04,620 --> 01:08:07,548 Suspect male, possibly armed. Request immediate backup 608 01:08:07,579 --> 01:08:08,547 Keep speeding 609 01:08:08,572 --> 01:08:10,357 -lf you get a ticket, I'll tear it up -Thanks 610 01:08:10,388 --> 01:08:13,703 Hold it! Okay, easy, fellow, easy Hold it, there. Right there 611 01:08:13,743 --> 01:08:15,923 Hey! Easy 612 01:08:15,988 --> 01:08:17,979 Put it down. Put the gun down 613 01:08:22,689 --> 01:08:24,618 Hi, I need Jennifer Langley's room 614 01:08:24,657 --> 01:08:26,940 She came in at about 11:00, motorcycle accident 615 01:08:29,495 --> 01:08:30,987 Out of the way, sir 616 01:08:42,804 --> 01:08:46,534 She's on the fifth floor, east wing. Just take the elevator up 617 01:08:48,145 --> 01:08:49,415 Just... 618 01:08:57,116 --> 01:09:01,140 Please, just stay here and do nothing 619 01:09:01,250 --> 01:09:04,290 If you do nothing, nothing can go wrong 620 01:09:06,144 --> 01:09:07,994 I've got to take care of my family now 621 01:09:29,313 --> 01:09:33,551 The nurse says that it's not a coma, that she's just... 622 01:09:34,289 --> 01:09:36,296 She's just sort of taking time out 623 01:09:37,748 --> 01:09:40,097 but we haven't seen a doctor yet, so I don't... 624 01:09:47,114 --> 01:09:48,527 -Dr Jacobson? -Yes? 625 01:09:48,566 --> 01:09:50,193 We need you urgently in OR 3 626 01:09:50,233 --> 01:09:52,730 -No can do. I'm due in number 4 at 1:00 -Sir, it's urgent 627 01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:54,754 We have a ruptured kidney and massive bleeding 628 01:09:55,389 --> 01:09:56,603 Okay 629 01:10:09,646 --> 01:10:11,138 Yes, it's urgent! 630 01:10:12,329 --> 01:10:14,265 -What's happening? -Surgeon's on his way up 631 01:10:16,447 --> 01:10:19,312 At last, Dr Bean 632 01:10:19,352 --> 01:10:22,873 Hello, Doctor. We've got a 45-year-old male, blood type B negative 633 01:10:22,905 --> 01:10:24,548 brought in by paramedics 10 minutes ago 634 01:10:24,603 --> 01:10:26,735 He's got a penetrating injury to the left chest 635 01:10:30,149 --> 01:10:32,086 -Gotta get him in there right now -No, no, no! 636 01:10:33,883 --> 01:10:36,359 Come in, Doctor. It looks like a bullet in the lower thorax 637 01:10:36,384 --> 01:10:37,414 It seems to have ruptured the lung 638 01:10:37,439 --> 01:10:39,205 and there's severe inner bleeding along the abdomen 639 01:10:39,338 --> 01:10:40,780 Doctor, he's coming to 640 01:10:40,828 --> 01:10:42,556 -All right, give him a T-70 - Got it 641 01:10:53,423 --> 01:10:54,844 Shall I extend the incision, sir? 642 01:10:54,883 --> 01:10:57,074 We've taken it from the breastbone to the diaphragm 643 01:10:57,264 --> 01:10:59,277 We may have to extend further to get to the spleen 644 01:11:01,769 --> 01:11:03,332 Sorry, sir, it's only my first week 645 01:11:04,459 --> 01:11:07,020 No, you're right, Doctor. We should wait for the x-rays 646 01:11:07,631 --> 01:11:09,771 Help! We are losing this guy out here! 647 01:11:09,867 --> 01:11:13,216 -For Jesus' sake, we need help! - Go! Go! Go! Get in here! 648 01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:17,354 Watch he doesn't go into haemodynamic shock 649 01:11:17,441 --> 01:11:18,592 We'll be right back 650 01:11:26,555 --> 01:11:29,372 - Defibrillating! -All right, charge the paddles to 200 watts 651 01:11:33,198 --> 01:11:34,246 Clear! 652 01:12:16,647 --> 01:12:17,829 What's that? 653 01:12:51,910 --> 01:12:53,830 Jolly good. Clean it up 654 01:13:14,426 --> 01:13:15,767 Sorry to keep you waiting, sir 655 01:13:15,839 --> 01:13:17,696 Nice work in there, people Now back to the bleeding 656 01:13:17,751 --> 01:13:19,323 Where's this blood coming from? We got to clamp it off 657 01:13:19,386 --> 01:13:20,816 -Where the hell's that J-17? -What happened? 658 01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:23,157 -We need that J-17 in OR 4 right now -He's got major trauma 659 01:13:23,182 --> 01:13:24,927 There's too much blood. I can't see a thing 660 01:13:25,403 --> 01:13:27,796 -More suction -Somebody check that line 661 01:13:27,821 --> 01:13:30,369 -Blood pressure's bottoming out -Hook me up with 1 2, will you? 662 01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,535 His heart rate is dropping. We're gonna lose him 663 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:35,980 -How's the TMS? -Come on, people! He's crashing on us 664 01:13:36,757 --> 01:13:38,789 -I'm not getting a reading -Where is this bullet? 665 01:13:40,165 --> 01:13:43,291 -lf we don't find it, he's a dead man -I am not gonna lose this guy 666 01:13:45,421 --> 01:13:47,714 Sir, we're losing him. I've got to get in there now 667 01:13:52,995 --> 01:13:55,281 Doctor, you can't just... It's too dangerous! 668 01:14:09,638 --> 01:14:10,757 My God! 669 01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:16,858 -lncredible - Heart rate is stabilising 670 01:14:17,341 --> 01:14:19,016 Blood pressure's climbing back 671 01:14:33,795 --> 01:14:36,192 Oh, Doctor, thank God. My daughter was in an accident 672 01:14:36,217 --> 01:14:37,581 No one's even taken a look at her yet 673 01:14:37,644 --> 01:14:40,014 We're desperate for some medical attention in here 674 01:14:41,752 --> 01:14:43,506 Would you mind? 675 01:14:47,492 --> 01:14:49,087 Don't worry,honey.The doctor will check her out 676 01:14:49,112 --> 01:14:50,611 Oh, thank God 677 01:14:55,088 --> 01:14:56,676 Mr and Mrs Langley 678 01:14:56,803 --> 01:15:00,205 any kind of damage to the brain is a very sensitive thing to observe 679 01:15:00,261 --> 01:15:03,748 so maybe we should just step outside and give the doctor a little room to work 680 01:15:03,879 --> 01:15:06,212 The first nurse said we shouldn't think of it as a coma 681 01:15:06,252 --> 01:15:07,617 but more like a deep sleep 682 01:15:07,681 --> 01:15:10,559 -Yes, that's sort of true -Could I ask you a question? 683 01:15:21,645 --> 01:15:22,954 Jennifer? 684 01:15:23,732 --> 01:15:27,565 Wakey, wakey, breakfast's ready 685 01:15:27,787 --> 01:15:29,413 Jennifer? 686 01:15:30,381 --> 01:15:32,215 What time is it? 687 01:15:33,588 --> 01:15:35,578 It's almost 2:00 688 01:15:35,776 --> 01:15:38,768 Can you turn the clock back about 12 hours for me? 689 01:15:40,117 --> 01:15:41,283 Sure 690 01:15:52,761 --> 01:15:56,531 Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! 691 01:15:58,124 --> 01:16:00,386 I don't know what to say about Bean 692 01:16:01,227 --> 01:16:04,074 He's clearly a force-10 disaster area 693 01:16:04,153 --> 01:16:10,017 but, God help me, I like him 694 01:16:13,788 --> 01:16:18,058 Now, having said that , there is no reason in the world 695 01:16:18,146 --> 01:16:21,621 why any of you should ever have anything to do with him again 696 01:17:03,836 --> 01:17:06,559 Mom? Dad? Anyone? 697 01:17:06,630 --> 01:17:08,328 Oh, my God, Jennifer 698 01:17:08,440 --> 01:17:11,033 -Oh, honey. Sweetie -Honey! Oh, look at you 699 01:17:11,071 --> 01:17:13,214 -Mum, what happened? -You had an accident, honey 700 01:17:13,262 --> 01:17:15,755 but everything is gonna be okay 701 01:17:15,862 --> 01:17:19,193 -But what happened to Stingo? -Just bruises, collar bone 702 01:17:19,272 --> 01:17:21,882 He'll be fine, until I get my hands on him 703 01:17:22,549 --> 01:17:25,350 -Hey, Doctor, where are you going? -Where do you think you're going? 704 01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:29,667 How can we ever say thank you? No, you've made us so happy 705 01:17:29,873 --> 01:17:33,020 -Tell us, what can we do? We'll do anything -Anything 706 01:17:41,211 --> 01:17:44,393 Well, I suppose you could let me stay another week 707 01:17:57,015 --> 01:17:59,443 Sunset Boulevard 708 01:19:02,791 --> 01:19:05,672 -Presents! Presents! -Hey! What's this all about? 709 01:19:07,963 --> 01:19:10,502 -This is heavy -Thank you 710 01:19:14,666 --> 01:19:18,594 Oh, look, laxatives. Yeah, a whole box of them 711 01:19:19,169 --> 01:19:21,145 Oh, hey, there they are 712 01:19:21,740 --> 01:19:23,549 Eggs, six of them 713 01:19:24,513 --> 01:19:26,021 Barbie! 714 01:19:28,428 --> 01:19:30,102 -Thanks - What did you get there? 715 01:19:54,624 --> 01:19:56,220 Give us a smile 716 01:20:01,315 --> 01:20:03,419 -Bye-bye! -Bye! 717 01:20:03,490 --> 01:20:04,553 Bye, Beanie! 718 01:20:07,289 --> 01:20:08,758 See you! 719 01:20:12,919 --> 01:20:14,482 Farewell! 720 01:20:24,584 --> 01:20:27,957 - Well, Beanie, it's been 721 01:20:29,424 --> 01:20:30,702 surreal 722 01:20:31,607 --> 01:20:35,213 I want you to know you can come back and visit anytime 723 01:20:35,713 --> 01:20:38,689 -Yes -ln the fairly distant future 724 01:20:43,764 --> 01:20:45,224 I know it sounds insane 725 01:20:45,256 --> 01:20:48,145 but I'm really gonna miss you 726 01:20:51,454 --> 01:20:52,510 Okay 727 01:21:11,908 --> 01:21:14,519 Okay. Goodbye again 728 01:28:44,751 --> 01:28:47,354 Yes, I normally stay till the end as well 729 01:28:50,316 --> 01:28:51,427 Bye 730 01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:01,813 You can go now if you wish 731 01:29:05,828 --> 01:29:07,010 Bye