原創翻譯 雙語字幕
最新連載海外影視劇下載 請登陸 www.YYeTs.com 僅供交流學習 禁止商用盈利
翻譯 冰島豆腐
翻譯 黑錘斯特
翻譯 青椒
精校 冰島豆腐
時間軸 紫夏
后期 咖啡·Lee
總監 冰島豆腐
80年代的時候 我和巴里·戈德堡形影不離 Back in the '80s, it was always me and Barry Goldberg.
然后到了90年代 我們長大了 But then the '90s hit, and we grew up.
我在威廉佩恩教書 I was teaching at William Penn.
巴里在底特律做住院實習醫生 Barry was doing his residency in Detroit.
巴里 巴里 Barry? Barry?
超過一年 For over a year,
我們試圖維持異地戀 we tried to make it work long-distance.
我們經常聊天 We talked and talked -- a lot.
我們終于決定最好的選擇就是分手 And what we finally decided was best was to break up --
也許不是永遠 但絕對要暫時分開 maybe not forever, but definitely for now.
我當然一團糟 Of course I was a mess.
但我終于振作了起來 But I finally got myself up and out.
幸運的是 90年代最棒的浪漫喜劇 And fortunately, the best of all the '90s rom-coms,
《獨領風騷》剛剛上映 "Clueless," Had just hit the theaters.
我愛喬西 I love Josh.
勇敢魅力智慧的雪兒 And I found inspirations
大大激勵了我 from the bold, charming intelligence of Cher.
她的獨立意識讓我感覺 Her sense of independence made me feel like
我靠自己也能行 I could make it on my own.
于是我決定變得像她一樣 So I decided to be just like her,
包括她可愛的著裝 including the cute outfits.
不管你信不信 Believe it or not,
我和巴里的分手沒有擊垮我 my breakup with Barry wasn't getting me down.
我們倆決定分道揚鑣 The two of us had decided to go our separate ways
繼續做朋友 我準備好 and remain friends, so I was ready
向前看 把巴里留在過去 to move on with my life and put Barry in the past.
我們來談談你和巴里 Let's talk about you and Barry.
不敢相信巴里為了他的一個護士而離開了你 I can't believe Barry left you for one of his nurses
跑去了加拿大的巴黎 多倫多 and ran off to Toronto, the Paris of Canada.
是雙方共同決定的 It was totally mutual.
而且蒙特利爾才是加拿大的巴黎 And at the very least, Montreal is the Paris of Canada.
我聽說的可不是這樣 That's not what I heard went down.
傳聞戈德堡往她的熊熊里塞了一張紙條 Word is, Goldberg stuck a note in her Build-a-Bear.
用美國最可愛的新興購物中心 Using America's cuddliest mall novelty
來做他的臟活 to do his dirty work.
太惡心了 Makes me sick.
別煩她了 她是成年女性 她沒事 Leave her alone! She's a grown woman. She's fine.
你還好嗎 我可以給你做派 親愛的 Are you fine? I can make you a pie, sweetie.
各位 聽我的 分手的當事人 Guys, take it from me -- who was actually there --
我們的分手很正常 it was a totally normal break-up.
能各自回到崗位上去了嗎 Now, can we please move on with our day?
萊妮 你在這呢 Aw, Lainey, there you are.
CB和威爾瑪需要第三人來組建畢業舞會委員會 CB and Wilma need a third for the prom committee,
我就想 誰比你更適合呢 and I thought, who better than you to help them out?
樂意至極 I'd be happy to.
謝謝你把我當做一個功能健全的人 Thank you for treating me like a fully functioning person.
任何能讓你不去想殘忍分手的事 Anything to take your mind off of the brutal breakup.
一想到巴里在納帕的葡萄園上空 And to think Barry crushed your heart
乘坐著熱氣球 on a beautiful hot-air balloon ride
傷了你的心 over the vineyards of Napa.
我最后再說一次 For the last time --
我其實還挺喜歡你這個版本的 就用這個好了 Oh. I actually like that one. We'll go with that.
我們作為你在地面的朋友 會給你支持 And we, your friends on the ground, are here for you.
大家來團抱 Group hug, everyone.
不要 Oh. No.
校園時代
第二季 第二十一集
那是九幾年的5月13日 朱莉出城 It was May 13, 1990-something, and Julie had gone out of town
托付梅勒教練照顧托比 and entrusted Coach Mellor to be totally in charge of Toby.
約翰 看看托比 Hey, John. Look at Toby.
那是我孩子 That's my boy.
不是我孩子 我女友的孩子 Well, not my boy, but my girlfriend's boy.
實際上是她侄子 Well, actually, uh, her nephew
不過是她法定監護人 who she's the legal guardian of.
你是說 "她是法定監護人" You meant "Of whom she is the legal guardian."
別假正經 約翰 Don't be that guy, John.
重點是 朱莉只離開了幾天 The point is, Julie's only been gone for a couple days,
我的雄性能量已經傳到了托比身上 and already, my alpha energy is rubbing off on Toby.
女生們都被其吸引 And the ladies are clearly drawn to it.
實際上 瑞克 那是道恩 Actually, Rick, that's Dawn,
輔導托比的高年級女生 the senior girl who's tutoring Toby.
她是我高年級生輔導新生項目的成員 She's part of my program where seniors tutor freshmen.
對啊 你的"府新"項目 Oh, yeah, your, uh, "See-Fresh" Program.
是的 "府新"是個我想出來的 Yes, "See-Fresh" Is an extremely clever name
聰明名字 并不是我在設計傳單期間 that I came up with and not a typo that...happened
打錯了字 while I was designing the flyers.
他好像喜歡道恩 I think he's got a crush on Dawn.
我記得我第一次暗戀 I remember my first crush --
1964年 厄蘇拉·波達斯 1964, Ursulga Bordath.
她是奧運會鉛球手 拿到了金牌 She was an Olympic shot-putter, won a gold medal.
她投出去的就像是我的心 When she put that shot, it may as well have been my heart.
我本人以前也喜歡用巴特沃斯夫人醬 I was a Mrs. Butterworth guy myself.
甜甜的 美美的 Sweet and shapely.
也許我們最好別告訴他人 Maybe it's best we don't tell anybody else
我們今天談論的內容 what we've shared here today.
嗯 這樣也許最好 Yeah. That may be best.
總之 我要撤了 Anyways, I'm gonna head out.
我突然想吃薄煎餅 I...suddenly have a hankering for pancakes.
教練 你絕對猜不到發生了什么 Hey, Coach! You'll never guess what just happened!
-發生了什么 -道恩邀請我和她去參加畢業舞會 - What happened? - Dawn asked me to go to the prom with her.
太棒了 恭喜 That sounds great, buddy! Congrats!
這太酷了 This is so cool.
我從沒想過我會在35歲開始約會 I never thought I'd start dating till I was 35,
但我現在是老玩家了 but I'm a playa now.
就像大金剛一樣 It's on like Donkey Kong!
你要去參加畢業舞會了 You're going to prom, baby!
耶 Oh, yeah!
托比 我們一伙人周六晚要去玩激光CS Toby, a bunch of us are going to play laser tag on Saturday night.
我在想你也可以來 I was thinking maybe you could come.
激光CS 嗯 Laser tag? Yeah.
那是男孩玩的游戲 That's a game for boys.
從今天起 我就是男人了 And as of today, I'm a man now.
道恩剛邀請我和她去參加畢業舞會 Dawn just asked me to go to prom with her.
道恩不是很大了嗎 Isn't Dawn, like...old?
嗯 17歲 Yep. 17.
再過一年 And in one more year,
她就能帶我們去看R級電影了 she'll be able to get us into R-rated movies.
好吧 祝你在畢業舞會上玩得開心 Okay. Well, have fun at prom, I guess.
托比抑制不住他的激動之情 Toby couldn't contain his excitement for prom.
與此同時 威爾瑪和CB意識到 Meanwhile, Wilma and CB realized
他們需要讓畢業舞會計劃變得更有創意 they'd need to get creative with their prom plans.
好了 至于畢業舞會裝飾 我從倉庫里 Okay, for prom decorations, all I was able to dig out of storage
只能找出一些舊的萬圣節彩條 were some old Halloween streamers
以及一張支持杜卡基斯當總統的橫幅 and a "Dukakis for President" Banner.
你對萊妮和巴里分手是什么感受 So, how are you doing with all this Lainey and Barry stuff?
你肯定感覺很奇怪 It must be weird for you,
之前你一直對萊妮念念不忘 seeing as how you were pining after Lainey forever,
你和帕洛瑪戀愛之后 突然一下 and as soon as you start dating Paloma -- boom.
萊妮小姐又變回單身了 Miss Lainey suddenly is back on the market.
威爾瑪 如同邁克爾·杜卡基斯失敗的 Wilma, like the failed presidential campaign
總統競選一般 這事兒已過去了 of Michael Dukakis, that stuff's in the past.
那你是要跟我說你對萊妮沒感覺了 So, are you telling me you have no feelings for Lainey?
我現在跟帕洛瑪在一起很開心 I am happy with Paloma now.
好了 別提了 行嗎 Okay, you know what? Just let it go, please.
你沒有明確否認 You didn't say no.
我們過來干嘛呢 Okay, so, what are we doing here?
我來為你展示 I present to you...
空白的畢業舞會畫布 our blank prom canvas,
又被稱為惡臭頂天的體育館 A.K.A. the stinky-ass gym.
也許我們可以去除潮濕的氣味 We could probably build off the dank smell
選用"低潮的海底世界"的舞會主題 and go with an "Under the Sea at Low Tide" theme.
你知道嗎 帕洛瑪 我新女友 You know, Paloma, my new girlfriend,
一整個夏天都待在海里 spent the entire summer under the sea
研究鯨魚遷徙模式 studying whale migration patterns, so --
抱歉 Oh. I'm -- I'm sorry.
我不是要在你面前 I didn't mean to rub my happy relationship
炫耀我快樂的戀情 in your sad face.
沒事 我真心為你高興 It's okay. I'm genuinely happy for you.
你想怎么聊帕洛瑪都行 Talk about Paloma all you want.
太好了 因為每件事都能讓我想起她 Okay. Thank God. 'Cause literally everything reminds me of her.
她是全天下最好的女朋友 She's just the best.
我都不記得"帕前"的生活是什么樣的了 I can't even remember life "BP."
就是遇見帕洛瑪之前的生活 That means "Before Paloma."
我的新"女友" 意思是"女..." My new "GF." That means "Girl--"
我們懂 好了 舞會主題 We know. Okay, uh, prom themes.
我們需要一些長的東西來裝飾這里的空間 We need something long to cover all this space.
有了 "愛情滑梯" I got it -- "Slip 'N Slide of Love."
我有個舊的可以出借 I've got an older one I'd be okay to lend out.
或者像"情侶隧道"那樣的呢 How about something like "Tunnel of Love"?
正常點 人身傷害訴訟也能少點 Which is more normal and will have less personal-injury lawsuits.
等等 有了 真的有了 Wait. I got it. And I really do got it.
"愛之海底隧道" "Chunnel of Love."
什么鬼 是寬敞的通道嗎 What the hell's a Chunnel? Like a chubby tunnel?
不 是最近完工的一個工程奇跡 No, it's the recently completed engineering marvel
將英法兩國連接起來 that connects England and France.
說到帕洛瑪 我快趕不上我倆的 Speaking of Paloma, I'm gonna be late
"開心下午"聚會了 for our "Afternoon delight."
-老天爺 -怎么了 - Good Lord. - ?What?
每天下午 我們會碰面 Every afternoon, we meet up
一起吃美味的冰淇淋 to get a delightful ice cream treat.
看到CB有了女朋友你心里肯定不好受吧 It must be really hard to see CB with a girlfriend,
尤其你和巴里兩周前剛分手 especially 'cause if you and Barry had broken up
本來你可以成為他女友的 like two weeks ago, that girlfriend could be you.
得了吧 大家都知道他喜歡我 Oh, please. We all know he was into me.
但是在我看來 我們只是好朋友 But as far as I'm concerned, we're just good friends.
事實上 單身我挺高興的 Truth is, I'm happy to be single.
我自由了 可以隨便撩漢 I am free. I'm out there.
我就是雪兒·克羅歌里的人 I'm basically a Sheryl Crow song.
別把雪兒·克羅扯進來 Don't bring Sheryl Crow into this.
在我想說服威爾瑪我沒事的時候 While I was trying to convince Wilma that I was A-okay,
梅勒對馬上要跟格拉斯科特談話很激動 Mellor was excited to talk to Glascott A.S.A.P.
約翰 別滾了 我有好消息 John, stop rolling. I got great news.
你知道托比喜歡道恩·弗格森吧 You know how Toby has a crush on Dawn Ferguson?
這貓毛是哪里來的 Where's all this cat hair coming from?
跟你說 她剛才邀請他... Well, get this -- she just asked him --
我好多年沒養貓了 I haven't owned a cat in years.
道恩邀請托比去畢業舞會了 Dawn asked Toby to the prom.
什么 What?!
高年級導師邀請低年級被輔導同學 A tutor asking out a tutee?
這違背了"府新"準則 That's against the See-Fresh code of conduct.
這是學習計劃 This is a learning program.
又不是蒙特戈灣的 It's not the "Swim-Up Happy Hour"
"上游歡樂時光" at Sandals Montego Bay.
你的準則跟充滿睪丸激素的 Well, I guess your little codes are no match
監護人瑞克·梅勒相比 可是沒啥用 for the testosterone-laden tutelage of Rick Mellor.
你覺得托比準備好參加畢業舞會了嗎 Do you think Toby is ready for prom?
有什么可準備的 What's there to be ready for?
聽著保羅·安卡的歌 來段紳士慢舞 Some respectfully spaced slow dancing to Paul Anka?
加了七喜的水果酒讓你鼻子癢癢 Fruit punch with enough 7-Up to tickle your nose?
拿著兩人份的冰淇淋圣代 Ending the night at the malt shop
這一天在酒鋪里結束 with an ice cream sundae for two?
瑞克 你剛描述的 Rick, the Norman Rockwell world
諾曼·洛克威爾的世界早已不在了 you just described is long gone.
這些日子 畢業舞會就像是54俱樂部 These days, proms are like Studio 54.
有預熱派對 豪華轎車接送 There are pre-parties and limo rides
還有續攤派對 and after parties.
之后再去大使套房酒店開房 And then there's a room at the Embassy Suites.
托比還太小 不能做這些事 Well, Toby's not mature enough for any of that.
上周在動物園 Just last week, he blushed
一只猩猩親了他一口他都臉紅 when a chimp blew a kiss at him at the zoo.
深有同感 Been there.
在我的看護下不能出這些事 Well, this can't happen on my watch.
朱莉把她的青蔥小侄子交給我照顧 Julie left me with her innocent little boy,
我可不能讓他變成迷你唐·約翰遜 and I can't let him turn into a mini Don Johnson!
好了 我們不要過早下結論 Okay, let's not jump to conclusions.
抱歉 瑞克 I'm sorry, Rick.
貓毛不僅在我外套袖子上 Not only is there cat hair on the outside of my sleeve,
袖子里也有貓毛 there's cat hair in my sleeve.
貓是怎么進你袖子的 How does a cat get in your sleeve?!
在梅勒擔心托比是否準備好參加舞會時 While Mellor was worried if Toby was ready for prom,
威爾瑪和我正為學生們準備一個完美夜晚 Wilma and I were readying the school for the perfect night.
希望當孩子們走過"愛之海底隧道"時 I hope when the kids ride through our "Chunnel of Love,"
會激勵他們學習更多工程學內容 it inspires them to learn more about engineering.
你知道他們只會在那里進行尷尬的互摸 You know they're just gonna use it for awkward teen groping.
解剖學也是科學 我也認 Anatomy. Still science. I'll take it.
你們好 Oh, hey, guys.
你好 帕洛瑪 CB的新女朋友 Oh, hey, Paloma, CB's new girlfriend.
你見到他了嗎 Have you seen him?
沒 他去餐廳了 因為面包用完了 No, he went to Panera because we ran out of bread
不夠為法國方搭建"長棍拱橋"了 for our "Arc de Baguettes" for the French side.
好 跟他說 Oh. Okay. Well, tell him
我有重大消息想找他聊聊 I want to talk to him. I have some big news.
重大消息啊 你買房了 買車了 Ooh. Big news. Did you buy a house? New car?
懷孕了 You pregnant?
只是消息 Only with information.
奇怪 Weird.
好 我們會轉告他 Okay. We'll let him know.
是非常重大的消息 It's really big news.
你剛才說的時候我們就知道了 We got that from when you said it.
感覺你真的很想跟人聊聊這事 Sounds like you really want to talk to someone about this.
你想說的話 我們很愿意聽 Yeah, we're all ears, if you want to share.
好吧 Okay.
我接到一個非常好的機會 So, I have this amazing opportunity
可以去巴西雨林 to go to the Brazilian rainforest
幫助保護瀕危的樹蛙 to help protect endangered tree frogs.
我唯一去過的雨林 The only rainforest I've ever gone to
就是雨林餐廳 is the Rainforest Cafe.
聽起來像是一生難得的機會 Sounds like the chance of a lifetime.
對 但是要去一整個夏天 It is, but I'd be gone the whole summer.
所以我有點猶豫 That's why I'm on the fence.
我最近剛找回自我 Take it from someone who
正在做一個堅強獨立的女性 recently found herself as an independent woman.
你得為自己做選擇 You got to do what's best for you.
那CB怎么辦 But what about CB?
不用擔心CB You don't need to worry about CB.
他總是跟我說 他有多喜歡你的愛好 He's always telling me how much he loves your passion.
聊你的愛好就是他的熱情所在 Talking about your passion is his passion.
你不能奪走這一點 You can't take that away from him.
但是你應該最清楚 But you, of all people, know how hard
異地戀最難了 the long-distance thing is.
你們會異地多久 三個月嗎 How long will you be long-distance for -- three months?
我還真沒這么想 I didn't think of it that way.
謝謝你 萊妮 Thanks, Lainey!
那我就放心地去雨林啦 I guess I'm going to the rainforest!
沒有自來水的村莊 我來了 Village with no plumbing, here I come.
沒有自來水 那么慘 No plumbing? Ew!
不過你加油 姐妹 Eh -- But go get 'em, tiger.
天哪 Damn.
這簡直是艾瑞卡·凱恩級別的 That was some Erica Kane-level
肥皂劇式狗血反轉 soap-opera stuff right there!
天哪 你別瞎想了 Good God, woman! Let it go!
我只是讓帕洛瑪這個夏天去追尋夢想 I just told Paloma to spend the summer living her frickin' dream.
萬一她被一只蚊子咬了 Until she gets bit by a mosquito
或者被一只有狂犬病的猴子咬到臉 or gets her face eaten off by a rabid monkey.
到時候CB就是你的了 Then CB's all yours.
太荒唐了 That's insane!
我只是讓帕洛瑪做一個獨立女性 I just encouraged Paloma to be an independent woman.
一個沒有臉的獨立女性 An independent woman with no face.
梅勒得知現代舞會里的隱患后感到很震驚 Mellor was shocked to find out about the pitfalls of modern proms,
于是他找了格拉斯科特幫忙 so he enlisted Glascott
一起搞清楚托比會遇到什么情況 to find out just what was in store for Toby.
怎么樣 姐妹們 期待舞會嗎 What's happening, girls? Excited for the prom?
我個人是非常期待愛之海底隧道 I know I'm pretty psyched about the Chunnel of Love.
大概吧 Yeah, I-I guess.
關于配飾 你們是怎么想的 So, accessory wise, what are you guys thinking --
貝雷帽還是衛兵帽 berets or Beefeater hats?
我們不會用太多海底隧道主題的東西 Oh, we're probably not doing anything Chunnel-related.
對 你可不想把那么好看的頭發遮起來 Yeah, you don't wanna cover up those great hairdos.
那你們怎么想的 So, what are you thinking?
是完全盤起來 還是一半一半 Uh, you wanna go with an updo or half up, half down?
蝴蝶發夾嗎 Butterfly clips?
是臟辮嗎 Ooh! Spiky twists?
看來有人熟讀了雅虎通上的推送 Someone read the YM prom issue.
當然啦 姐妹 You know I did, girlfriend.
對了 你們有沒有想好 And, hey, is there a post-prom party spot
派對結束后去哪里玩呢 you guys plan on being all up in?
約翰 Hey, John!
你是讓我跟你講講單核細胞增多癥 You wanted me to talk about mononucleosis
還有這對接吻的年輕人會有什么影響嗎 and the toll it takes on teens that kiss?
天哪 你們可別從舞會搭檔身上 Gosh, you kids don't want to catch that
傳染到這個病 from your prom dates, do you?
別擔心 我不會親我的舞伴 Don't worry. I won't be kissing my prom date anytime soon.
是嗎 為什么 Really? Why's that?
沒什么 Oh. Nothing.
別這樣 道恩 我現在不是校長 Come on, Dawn! Look, I am not your principal.
我現在就是婦女之友 Right now, I'm just another gal pal.
來八卦一下 Let's dish!
好吧 那我說 Okay. I guess.
我的舞伴 Well, uh, my date to prom
是一個高一的小孩 他人很好 is this freshman kid, and he's really sweet,
但我只是拿他當擋箭牌 因為我父母 but I'm just using him as a cover because my parents --
不是很喜歡我真正的男朋友 羅比 they don't like my real boyfriend, Robbie.
羅比·麥克法登 他眼看著就是個少年犯 Robbie McFadden? He's a budding delinquent.
如果我父母看到這個托比 But when my parents see me with this Toby kid,
就會讓我去參加舞會 they'll let me go to prom,
到時候我就甩下他 去找羅比見面 where I can just ditch him and meet up with Robbie.
所以你對托比沒有那個意思 So, you don't like Toby that way?
他知道嗎 Does he know that?
他應該知道吧 Well, he's gotta. Right?
他就像個小孩子 而我 I mean, he's, like, a little kid and --
就這么說吧 上周 Well, let's just say that last week,
有人把我當成了房產經紀人 somebody mistook me for a real estate agent.
要是托比去參加舞會 If Toby goes to that prom,
他那松鼠般的小心靈會破碎 he's gonna have his little squirrel heart broken.
如果你告訴他 他不去 也會心碎 And if you tell him and he doesn't go, still broken.
不管怎么樣 都是松鼠心碎的結果 Either option, same squirrel heart result.
除非我能想到第三個選擇 Unless I can come up with a third option.
梅勒在努力想解決方案時 While Mellor cooked up an alternate plan,
我發現我打亂了CB的計劃 I was finding out how I'd affected CB's plans.
威爾瑪希望海底隧道的墻壁 Wilma wants a romantic shade of gray
用浪漫的灰色 所以我選出了 for the Chunnel walls, so I've narrowed it down
"煙熏炭灰"和"碧亞瑟發色" to "Smoky charcoal" Or "Bea Arthur's hair."
你扔球的樣子好像壓力很大 Wow. That's some serious stress-juggling going on there.
-你還好嗎 朋友 -不太好 - You okay, pal? - ?Not really.
我的心臟好像被拽離了身體 I feel like my heart was ripped out of my body
因為我超級火辣漂亮的女朋友 'cause my super smokin'-hot girlfriend
要撇下我去拯救樹蛙了 is ditching me to save some tree frogs.
你是說帕洛瑪嗎 We're talking about Paloma?
她確實很漂亮 但也別太夸張了 'Cause she's very attractive, but let's not get crazy.
我覺得你好像抓錯重點了 Okay. I think you latched onto the less important part.
帕洛瑪要離開我了 Paloma is leaving me.
她整個夏天都要去巴西 She's going to Brazil for the entire summer.
我知道 I know.
因為你剛才告訴了我 我才知道的 'Cause you just told me, so now I know.
好難受 我真的很喜歡她 It sucks. I really liked her. Seriously.
她特別漂亮 She's so hot.
對 傳統意義上她是挺好看的 Yes, she's very traditionally attractive.
她總是聊她的"愛好" All she was talking about was her "Passion,"
我本來希望我是她的愛好 and I was hoping maybe I was her passion.
不過是三個月 Well, it's just three months.
有人陪伴的感覺真好 It was just nice to have someone, you know?
我以為我有機會 但是現在沒了 And I really thought I'd had a shot, but now it's gone.
天哪 你的情緒好低落 Ooh. Those are some "E-motions."
讓我覺得好內疚 Making me feel all guilty...
居然讓你來選顏色 for asking you to weigh in on the paint swatches.
我就不煩你了 I'll just take this off your plate.
萊妮 Hey, Lainey.
你是個好朋友 You're a really good friend.
嗯 Yeah.
我感到很內疚 破壞了CB追求帕洛瑪的機會 I felt super guilty for messing up CB's chances with Paloma,
但我不確定該怎么做 but I wasn't sure what to do about it.
于是我決定去散步 理清思緒 So I decided to go for a walk to clear my mind
但愿能感覺不那么無能 and hopefully feel a little less clueless.
可然后我又想 我為什么要感到內疚 But then I thought, "Why should I feel guilty?"
我是在鼓勵帕洛瑪做一個獨立女性 I was encouraging Paloma to be an independent woman.
那有什么不對的 What was so wrong with --
不知道他們有沒有我的碼 Ooh! I wonder if they have that in my size.
根本不是威爾瑪說的那樣 It was totally not what Wilma was saying.
我并沒有想破壞CB的感情 I wasn't trying to sabotage CB's relationship.
他只是我的同事 He was just a guy I worked with.
沒錯 他成了我的朋友 I mean, sure, he'd become my friend...
一個總是逗我笑 讓我感覺良好的朋友 ...A friend who always made me laugh and feel good.
但為什么我要為此煩惱 But why was I buggin' about this?
這是CB This was, like, CB.
好吧 我得承認他有點帥 Okay, okay, I had to admit he was kinda cute,
也許他的部分瘋狂舞步有點好玩 and maybe some of his crazy dance moves were kinda fun.
但他值得一個欣賞他的人 But he deserved someone who appreciated him,
完全懂他的人 who really got him, ya know?
然后我突然醒悟 Then, suddenly, it hit me.
我的天 Oh, my God!
我喜歡CB I like CB!
我完全為CB著迷 I was totally, crazy, head over heels for CB!
天吶 Oh, boy.
在我終于看清了實際情況的時候 As I was hit with a huge reality check,
格拉斯科特和托比試圖把托比從他的現實里拯救出來 Glascott and Mellor were trying to save Toby from his reality.
托比 你不能參加畢業舞會 Toby, you can't go to prom
因為你被停學了 because you're suspended from school.
為什么 Why?!
我不知道 Um...I don't know?
不是吧 約翰 Seriously, John?
抱歉 瑞克 I'm sorry, Rick.
我沒想到他會多此一問 I didn't think he'd have a follow-up question.
怎么了 What's going on?
似乎你們倆不想讓我去畢業舞會 It seems like you two don't want me going to prom.
不 托比 坐下 N-- T-Toby, sit down for a second.
我得跟你說件事 W-- I got to tell you something.
我們不想傷害你的感受 We were trying not to hurt your feelings,
但道恩并不像你想的那樣喜歡你 but Dawn doesn't like you the way you think she does.
你在說什么 What are you talking about?
她只是需要一個人來忽悠她父母 She just needed some guy to fool her parents
這樣她就能參加畢業舞會了 so she can go to prom.
然后當她到了那以后 她就會 And then when she got there, she was...
甩掉你 去找她男友 gonna ditch you for her boyfriend.
羅比·麥克法登 Robbie McFadden.
所以我不是她男友 So I'm not her boyfriend.
她只是在利用我 She was just using me.
抱歉 小T Sorry, T-Man.
天 我真蠢 God, I'm so stupid.
我為什么會覺得道恩這樣的女生會喜歡我 Why would I think a girl like Dawn would ever like me?
可憐的托比 Ahh, poor Toby.
羅比·麥克法登曾在我的抽屜里放了一只白鼬 You know, Robbie McFadden put a ferret in my desk drawer once.
等等 原來那些毛就是從那來的 Wait. That's where all that hair is coming from!
托比因為道恩的事很傷心 Toby was upset over the news about Dawn,
但我迫不及待要告訴威爾瑪我關于CB的頓悟 but I was psyched to tell Wilma about my CB epiphany.
威爾瑪 Wilma!
你說得對 我和CB注定要在一起 You were right. CB and I are meant to be together.
我就知道 Ooh, I knew it!
我說準了 你否認了 I was so right, and you denied it.
但威爾瑪知道 威爾瑪知道 But Wilma knew. Mm-hmm. Wilma knew.
好了 別得意忘形了 Alright, enough with the gloating.
但我不知道該怎么做 But I don't know what to do about it
因為 帕洛瑪的事 'cause, you know, the whole Paloma thing.
如果我告訴你CB對你還有感覺呢 Well, what if I told you CB still has feelings for you?
他跟你說的嗎 Did he tell you that?
沒有 No.
是的 But...yes.
-什么 -他沒有說 - Huh? - ?He didn't say it,
但他也沒有不說 but he didn't not say it.
都順理成章了 好的 It's all lining up. Okay.
巴里和我分手 我喜歡CB Barry and I broke it off. I like CB.
CB女友要去巴西 CB's girlfriend is going to Brazil.
CB并不不喜歡我 CB still doesn't necessarily not like me.
-這是命運 -還有威爾瑪 - It's fate. - ?And Wilma.
現在唯一剩下的事就是告訴CB我的感受了 Now the only thing left to do is tell CB how I feel.
-可是該什么時候呢 -現在 - But when? - ?Now.
不 No.
要 他來了 Yes. Here he comes.
-什么 -拜拜 - What? - ?Bye-bye.
萊妮 我能跟你談談嗎 Hey, Lainey, can I talk to you for a sec?
-嗯 我得跟你說件事 -我得跟你說件事 - Yeah. I need to tell you something. - I gotta tell you something.
我先說 ?Me first.
不 我先 這很重要 No, me first. It's -- It's really important.
帕洛瑪離開的事 Um, this whole Paloma leaving thing --
讓我開始考慮愛情和命運 it really got me thinking about love and fate.
我也是 Me too.
異地戀很差勁 Long-distance relationships suck.
最糟糕了 They're the worst.
所以我在想 And that's why I was thinking
帕洛瑪離開是個征兆 Paloma leaving is a sign.
一個大大的征兆 A big ol' sign.
暗示我該去做我害怕做的事 A sign for me to just do what I was afraid to do.
別怕 Don't be afraid.
去追尋我想要的 And to just really go after what I want.
上 布朗先生 Go, Mr. Brown.
所以我想要的是 So, what I want is...
和我女友去亞馬遜旅游 ...A super rad trip to the Amazon with my girlfriend.
-什么 -是的 - Wait. What? - ?Yeah.
我夏天要和我寶貝帕洛瑪去度假 I'm gonna take the summer va-cay with my bay-bay, Palo-may.
你剛準備給我說什么 What was it that you were gonna tell me?
油漆 The paint.
雪曼·威廉姆斯用完了碧·亞瑟頭發的顏色 Sherman Williams just ran out of "Bea Arthur's Hair" Color,
所以現在我們打算用灰色 so now we're going with...gray.
真可惜 Oh, that's a bummer.
嗯 不過 Uh, yeah, but...
你不能總是得償所愿 you can't always get what you want.
我決定CB和帕洛瑪一起去巴西 I decided that CB heading to Brazil with Paloma
是最好的選擇 was for the best.
我的生活已經夠糟了 何必再添煩心事呢 Why screw up my life even more than it is now?
你怎么能不告訴CB你的感覺 How could you not tell CB how you feel?
我還沒來得及說 他就做了決定 Before I could, he made his decision.
他要去巴西 He's going to Brazil.
不 是你讓他去巴西的 No, you're letting him go to Brazil.
我這么辛苦 不能這樣被你搞砸 And I've worked too hard to let you this up.
我該怎么辦 What am I supposed to do?
今晚就告訴他你的感覺 Do not let him leave this gym tonight
否則別讓他離開體育館 without telling him how you feel.
不可能 我現在根本沒法面對他 Well, that's not gonna happen. I can't even face him right now.
我要確保埃菲爾鐵塔不會倒 I'm gonna go make sure the Eiffel Tower doesn't fall over.
我沒有聽你的 把它用螺栓固定住 I did not bolt it down, like you told me to.
我是想要避開CB I was trying to steer clear of CB,
而威爾瑪要讓我直面他 but Wilma was gonna make me face him head-on.
注意了 學生們 Um...a-attention, students!
我知道你們都迫不及待體驗愛之海底隧道了 Uh, I know you're all itching for your chance to Chunnel,
但因為保險原因 我們必須先在成人身上測驗 but since insurance won't let us send children through
然后才能放小孩上去 without it being tested on adults first,
我想派出我的工程師伙伴 I'd like to send in my fellow engineers,
劉易斯老師和CB Ms. Lewis and CB!
不行 我很忙 Um, no. I'm clearly very busy.
拜托 萊妮 會很好玩的 Oh, come on, Lainey. It'll be fun.
好吧 Okay. Fine.
手和腳都別拿出來 Keep your hands and feet inside,
還有注意頭 因為你懂的 and also watch your head, 'cause, you know,
你們比小孩高 you're taller than the kids,
可能會有指甲伸出來 and there might be some nails sticking through.
指甲 Nails?
一路順風 Have a good ride.
阿托 Hey, Tobester.
我沒心情聊天 Not in the mood to talk.
好吧 Well...
如果能安慰到你的話 我了解你的感受 if it's any consolation, I know what you're going through.
怎么了解 How?
我以前也不是你面前的 I wasn't always the rough-hewn Greek God
這個粗獷希臘神 you see before you.
我像你這么大的時候 我又瘦又笨 When I was your age, I was gangly and awkward.
我像你一樣弱小 I was a tiny, little wisp, just like you.
你說這些有什么用 Not helping.
我完全不會撩女生 I had absolutely no moves with girls whatsoever.
我總是被拋在一邊 好像我不重要似的 I was constantly being cast aside, like I didn't matter.
你想說什么 Where is this going?
我在你身上看到了我的影子 I see myself in you.
我明白了 And I learned that
不管你在追求女生的路上"三振出局"多少回 for all the times you strike out with a girl,
最終 你總會打出全壘打 eventually, you hit a home run
你會遇到一個也喜歡你的人 and you meet somebody who likes you back.
萬一我是那個不停"三振出局"的人呢 What if I'm the guy that keeps striking out?
在大聯賽里 三振出局最多的人 In the big leagues, the guys that strike out the most
同時也是打出最多全壘打的人 are also the guys that hit the most home runs.
因為他們不停擊打 Because they keep on swinging.
謝謝 教練 Thanks, Coach.
托比 你在這干什么 Toby. What are you doing here?
你不該去畢業舞會嗎 Shouldn't you be at prom?
不 No.
我是來向你道歉的 I came here to tell you I'm sorry.
我不該像我之前那樣對你 I shouldn't have treated you how I did.
這才是我想來的地方 This is where I want to be.
接受你的道歉 Apology accepted.
你看上去不錯 就像兔八哥去劇院的時候 You look good, like when Bugs Bunny goes to the opera.
謝謝 我模仿的就是它的造型 Thanks. That's what I was going for.
這畢業舞會很怪 是吧 It's a pretty weird prom, huh?
嗯 Yeah.
我們真該 We really should've gone
選擇"海底世界"或者正常點的主題 with "Under the Sea" Or something normal.
你還好嗎 Are you okay?
嗯 我很好 Yeah. Fine.
非常好 Totally fine.
我不覺得 I don't think you are.
我知道我們老是在說我和帕洛瑪 I know we've been talking about me and Paloma so much,
我一直沒問你 你和巴里分手 I haven't really checked in to see how you're doing
對你有何影響 with your Barry breakup, so...
不 跟那事無關 No, it's not that.
那是什么 Then what is it?
拜托 你可以告訴我任何事 萊妮 Come on. You can tell me anything, Lainey.
到底怎么了 What's -- What's going on?
別去 Don't go.
去巴西 To Brazil.
為什么 Why not?
因為我想要你留下 Because I want you to stay.
給我個留下來的理由 Give me a reason to stay.
你們的海底隧道之旅怎么樣 How was your Chunnel ride?
冒險有時會很可怕 Taking big chances can be scary.
你并不總是知道會怎樣收場 You don't always know how it's going to work out.
但那不代表你不該嘗試 But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
因為生活難以預料 Because life can be unpredictable.
你可能從一個地方開始 You can start off in one place
然后落到一個完全不同的地方 and wind up somewhere totally different.
你也不知道接下來該怎么辦 And you're not exactly sure what to do next.
你好奇未來會怎樣 You're left wondering what the future will hold.
不過迫不及待想要知道 But excited to find out.
我們來玩真人CS吧 Let's play laser tag!
你感覺幸運嗎 混蛋 Do you feel lucky, punk?
再見 Hasta la vista,baby.
在跟我說話嗎 You talkin' to me?
你玩過輪盤賭嗎 永遠押梅勒 You ever play roulette? Always bet on Mellor.
你是否在蒼白的月光下與惡魔共舞過 You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
跟我的朋友打聲招呼 Say hello to my little friend!
滾下我的飛機 Get off my plane!
我在矩陣里 I'm in the Matrix!
獻給所有現實生活中威廉佩恩學院的老師
約翰校長
梅勒教練
莉茲·弗萊明
蘇珊·西羅門
厄爾·波爾
格蘭杰先生
我們想感謝所有的老師 And we want to thank all of the teachers out there.
你們是真正的英雄 You guys are the true heroes...
比以往更甚 Now more than ever.
謝謝你們 So thank you.