我不知该如何讲述这个故事 I have no idea how to tell this story.
我甚至不知道该从何说起 I don't even know how to start it.
也许我可以引用那些 Like, I guess I could use one of those classic
经典小说的开头 story beginning sentences.
"那是最美好的时代 那是最糟糕的时代" "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times."
但是这句子究竟是什么意思? But what would that even mean?
我是说 显然对世间某处 I mean, obviously, somewhere in the world,
某人而言 这是最美好的时代 it's the best of times for someone.
例如他正在享用丰盛的 Like he's eating all this insane
越南大餐而无需花钱... vietnamese food he just got for free...
而为他上菜的女士 and the woman who delivered the food
像极了"暴动小猫乐队"里的辣妹 looks exactly like the hot girl from Pussy Riot
而现在她正在角落里 and now she's situated in the corner
用竖琴奏出悦耳动听的旋律 playing unspeakably beautiful melodies on the harp,
而他只是埋头苦吃 while he's just going to town on that food.
所以没错 那是最好的时代 So, yeah, that's the best of times.
而此时此刻的另一人 Meanwhile, some other guy is having
被酷刑高手瓦解了意志... his will broken by professional torturers...
他们把他吊在满是鳄鱼的酸水池上 who are suspending him over a crocodile-infested pool of acid.
而由于酸水 And because it's acid,
那些鳄鱼都被激怒了 these crocodiles are just pissed.
它们还散发出一种恶心的气味... And they're also piping in that gross smell you get...
像是撒了许多牛奶 when they spill a bunch of milk
在学校停车场上的味道 in the school parking lot.
而这个强壮的行刑人 And this beefy torture dude
正把他打得屁股尿流 is just punching the hell out of him.
最糟糕的时代 达成 Worst of times. Check.
我完全不知道我在干什么
好了 看 我就这么开始吧 All right, look. I'll just start.
这故事讲述了我的高三生活 This is the story of my senior year of high school
以及它如何毁掉了我的人生 and how it destroyed my life.
还有我如何拍出烂到确实要了人命的电影 And how I made a film so bad, it literally killed someone.
进入高三篇
我曾如此看待这里: I used to think about it this way:
仙利高中是一个自成一体的世界 Schenley High School was a world unto itself.
到高三时 我已精通这世界多个国家的 By senior year, I had mastered the languages and customs
语言和风俗 of its various sovereign states.
运动员国的点头礼 The head nods of Jock Nation.
瘾君子王国的碰拳礼 The fist bumps of the Kingdom of Stoners.
电影呆子人民共和国 The innocuous witticisms of
那毫无意义的俏皮话 the People's Republic of Theater Dorks.
格雷戈 你夏天过得怎么样? Greg, how was your summer?
夏天 这个词到底什么意思? Summer. What does that word even mean?
是更"summ"吗? Like, more "summ"?
在典型的高中生活里 In a typical high school life,
你总会属于一个国家... you belong to one nation...
那无法使你得到全面保护 which can never guarantee you total security.
但我认为我找到了解决之道 But I thought I found a way out.
取得所有国家的居民身份 Get citizenship in every nation.
获得畅通无阻的护照 Get passports to everywhere.
只需和所有人低调和谐相处... Just be on low-key good terms with everyone...
不时与他们随意交流... casually interact with them once in a while...
而不引起他人注意 in a way that is invisible to everyone else.
从不参与任何 Never commit to an interaction
不轻松或不成熟的交流 that won't be casual or mellow.
你今天测试/考试吗? Your test was today?
呃 考试! 我可以体会 Ugh. Tests! I've been there.
这就像派兵去往阿富汗一样 That's like sending troops to Afghanistan.
和逼格最高的国家的公民 Maintain relationships with citizens
保持良好的关系 of the most dicked-upon nations.
比如斯考特·梅休 For example, Scott Mayhew,
就是坐我旁边的哥特风白痴 the gothy dork I'm sitting next to here.
斯考特 这张狂战士出得真棒 Scott, nice Berserker.
我该谢谢你? Thank you?
耕耘多年才收获了他的信任 It took years of cultivation to win his trust.
又或者是被全世界孤立的"病态菲尔" Or the universally ostracized Ill Phil.
真的是孤家寡人 Truly a nation of one.
但有些地方是我不能去的 And there were some places I simply couldn't go.
比如学校的餐厅 Like the cafeteria.
这里的每一寸土地都是争议领土 Every last square inch of it was disputed territory.
这就像克里米亚 克什米尔 It was Crimea, Kashmir,
还有加沙地带的混合体 and the Gaza Strip all rolled into one.
当然还包括有海盗出没的那片印度洋 Also the part of the Indian Ocean with pirates.
是"菲利普船长"电影那种海盗 不是"加勒比海盗"那种 Captain Phillips pirates, not Pirates of the Caribbean.
但是实际上 天知道? 也许两者都有 Although, actually, who knows? Maybe both.
麦卡锡 但是实际上 天知道? 也许两者都有 Although, actually, who knows? Maybe both.
麦卡锡
因此我总是在我历史老师的办公室 Instead, I always ate lunch in the office Burden of Dreams:"梦想的负担" 描写德国电影大师沃纳·赫尔佐格艰难拍摄名片"陆上行舟"的纪录片
吃午餐 of my history teacher.
麦卡锡先生 Mr. McCarthy.
注意: Fact:
我要去309待上...二十分钟 I'm in 309 for the next... 20 minutes.
仙利高中里唯一一个理智的成年人 The only reasonable adult in all of Schenley.
异教徒们 Heathens.
尊重科研 Respect the research.
和厄尔一起吃午餐 他在我人生中的角色 With Earl, whose role in my life
我现在都不想跟你们解释 I'm not even gonna try to explain to you right now.
压倒性的和集体性的谋杀的和谐 The harmony of overwhelming and collective murder.
最后一点 辣妹会毁了你的生活 One last thing. Hot girls destroy your life.
事实就是这样 无论那个辣妹是否是个好人 That 's just the fact. It doesn't matter if the hot girl is also a good person.
她是一头麋鹿 而你是金花鼠 She's a moose, you're a chipmunk.
显然她只是在森林里漫步 She's just wandering through the forest, oblivious.
甚至没意识到踩在了你头上 And she doesn't even know that she stomped on your head. 90
嗨 麦迪森 Hey, Madison.
嗨 夏天过的怎么样? Hey, how was your summer?
夏天 这个词究竟什么意思 对吧? Summer. What does that word even mean, right?
更"summ" More "summ."
就像冬天 难道是更"wint"吗? Winter, same deal. More "wint"?
麦卡锡老师在309教室 McCarthy's in 309.
好的 谢谢 Great, thanks.
谦卑于 To become humbled
这里极端的痛苦... in front of this overwhelming misery...
和不可抗拒的通奸 and overwhelming fornication
还有惊人的无秩序 and overwhelming lack of order.
咪咪 Titties.
- 亲爱的 我们能进来吗? - 天啊 天啊! - Honey, can we come in? - Jesus, Jesus!
进来吧 有什么事吗? Yeah. What do you want?
首先 我在翻找... First of all, I was going through...
你的杂物然后发现你 your stuff and I saw that you
甚至还没有拆封大学申请指导 have not even unwrapped your college directory.
妈 别翻我的东西 Mom, don't go through my stuff.
我们讨论过了 她有权利看你的东西 We discussed it, and she gets to go through your stuff.
就看一眼 这挺有意思的 Just have a look. It's fun.
这就像为你的未来点菜 It's like a menu for your future.
你想来点什么? 来点宾州州立? What are you in the mood for? Some Penn State?
还是佩伯代因大学? 波莫纳? 普林斯顿? Some Pepperdine? Pomona? Princeton?
我考不上普林斯顿的 I'm not getting into Princeton.
他考不上普林斯顿的 He's not getting into Princeton.
唔 就这事吗? Um, so, is that it?
不 亲爱的 还有一件事 No, honey, it's not it.
你父亲和我要跟你说件有点悲伤的事情 Your father and I want to talk to you about something kind of sad.
什么? What?
发生了什么? What happened?
我刚刚和蒂尼斯·库什纳通了电话 Well, I just got off the phone with Denise Kushner,
是瑞秋的妈妈 你认识蒂尼斯吗? Rachel's mom. You know Denise?
不认识 Um, not really.
但是你总是瑞秋的朋友吧 You're friends with Rachel, though.
是啊 我是说我们也就认识而已 Yeah, I mean, we're like, acquainted.
过来 Come here.
好吧 Okay.
瑞秋才刚刚被诊断出了白血病 Rachel's been diagnosed with leukemia.
他们才发现 They just found out.
你今天去检测/考试吗? Your test was today?
呃 考试! 我可以体会 Ugh. Tests! I've been there.
哦 天啊 Oh, God.
这病严重吗? Is that serious?
他们在做各种各样的检测 They're doing all kinds of tests.
尽一切方法 They're doing everything they can.
还不知道病情如何 They just don't know.
哦 这真糟 Man, that sucks.
没错 You're right.
真糟 It sucks.
糟透了 It sucks really bad.
不能更糟了 It sucks quite a bit.
是的 Yeah.
爸 老猫斯蒂芬在挠我 Dad, Cat Stevens is clawing me.
他非常心烦意乱 Well, he's deeply distraught.
我刚刚和蒂尼斯打电话的时候... Well, you know, I was talking to Denise...
她觉得你有可能... and Denise feels that you might be someone...
能让瑞秋高兴点 who could make Rachel feel better.
但是就像我说的 Yeah, but like I said,
我们并不是非常熟 所以... we're not really friends, so...
你就打个电话给瑞秋 Just give Rachel a call.
那你想让我说点什么? Yeah, well, what do you want me to say?
"嗨 我是格雷戈 就是那个 "Hey, it's Greg, the guy who's
从没注意过你的人... never really paid attention to you...
但是现在你得了癌症 所以一起玩玩吧"? but now you have cancer, so let's hang out"?
那样可不行 That's not gonna work.
她会觉得你是在讽刺她 She'll think you're being sarcastic.
你是想说你就不能 Are you telling me you can't do
为别人做一件好事? one nice thing for another person?
说真的 是这样吗 真的是这样吗? I mean, honestly, is that really what's happening here?
好吧 我打 Fine. Okay.
求你们了 别再翻我的东西 Just, please don't go through my stuff.
不然我也会去翻你们的东西 Or I'll start going through your stuff.
祝你和卫生棉过得愉快 I hope you like tampons.
这里是调频90.5匹兹堡中部电台... It's Central Pittsburgh on 90.5...
我是瑞秋 This is Rachel.
嘿 我是格雷戈·盖恩斯 Hey, it's Greg Gaines.
嗨 Hi.
哟! Yo!
我打给了医生... So, I called a doctor...
他说你需要格雷戈-嘧啶处方药 he said you needed a prescription of Greg-acil.
那是什么? What's that?
唔... Uh...
就是我啊 It's me.
是方便服用的胶囊型 In convenient gel-tab form.
哦 Oh.
嗯 Yeah.
所以 我猜你听说我生病了 So, I guess you heard I'm sick.
是的 Yeah.
是我妈妈告诉你的吗? Did my mom tell you?
唔 是我妈妈告诉我的 Um, well, my mom told me.
哦 Oh.
那么 唔... So, um...
什么? What?
你想要说什么? What were you gonna say?
唔... Um...
格雷戈 什么事? Greg, what?
唔 好吧 我就是打来看看 Uh, yeah, I was just calling to see
你想不想出去玩 if you wanted to hang out.
现在? Right now?
对啊 当然 Um, sure.
不了 谢谢 No, thanks.
哦 Oh.
好吧 这么说你不想出去? Okay, so you don't wanna hang out?
不想 谢了 No. Thanks anyways.
好吧 唔 拜 Okay. Um, bye.
拜拜 Bye.
妈 你在干什么? Mom, what are you doing?
好了 妈 听着 她不想见我 Okay, Mom, listen, she doesn't want to see me.
我不想这么和你说但 格雷戈里... I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, Gregory...
在这件事情上 that you do not have a choice
你别无选择 in this particular matter.
妈 拜托 你听我说完 Mom, please, let me say one thing for one second.
你获得了一个机会 You have been given an opportunity
可以确实改变别人的人生 to make a very real difference in someone's life.
如果你选择在家里 And if what you're choosing instead
整天无所事事... is to lie around the house all day...
她不想见我! She doesn't want to see me!
那我只能介入... I will be required to step in...
我们都不是朋友! We're not even friends!
告诉你这完全不可接受 and inform you that that is 100% unacceptable.
你不停唠叨快把我逼疯了! Your nonstop stream of words is making me freak out!
要是你认为你编造的任何借口 And if you think that all these excuses you're making
会好过... are in any way better...
或者重要过身患癌症的 or more important, than the happiness
女孩的幸福... of a girl with cancer...
妈! 我要进入扭曲状态了 Mom! I am now entering a subhuman state.
那人还是你的朋友 a friend with cancer,
那你就错得太可悲了 朋友 you are sadly mistaken, my friend.
你要去拿起电话 You are going to pick up that phone.
然后再给瑞秋打一个过去 You're going to call Rachel again.
你要这么做 必须这么做 You are going to. You are going to.
我与将死的女孩相遇篇
哦 格雷戈 Oh, Greg.
哦 库什纳太太 Oh, Mrs. Kushner.
格雷戈 叫我蒂尼斯 Denise, Greg.
对你来说我就是蒂尼斯 好吗? To you, I'm Denise, okay?
哦 好的 好 Oh, okay. Good.
你真是个好孩子 你知道吗? You're a real good kid, you know that?
你真是个好孩子 你有着广阔的胸怀 You really are. You just have a big heart.
你很善良 友善 You're kind, nice.
我非常欣赏 I really appreciate it.
谢谢 Thank you.
好 好 好 好 好... Good, good, good, good, good...
好孩子 good boy.
好了 Okay.
你真是一个善良 大度 秀色... You really are kind, big-hearted, delicious...
可餐的年轻人 yummy, yummy, young boy.
你又长得这么帅 And you're so, so, handsome.
哦 我可不帅 但还是谢谢 Oh, I'm not handsome, but thank you.
还这么谦虚 And so modest.
我觉得我是一个谦卑的耗子 I guess I'm a modest mouse.
格雷戈 你是怎么想到这些东西的? Greg, where do you come up with this stuff?
唔 事实上那是一个乐队的名字 Well, that's the name of a band, actually.
哦 好吧 Oh. Yeah.
瑞秋! Rachel!
有一只谦虚的小耗子来看你来了 I've got a modest little mouse here to see you!
瑞秋 Rachel.
格雷戈 你来干什么? Greg, what are you doing here?
唔 这个... So, uh...
医生真的推荐 the doctor really recommends
你打一剂强力的格雷戈针 a strong dosage of Gregitor.
这个梗你用过了 You already used that joke.
没有 No.
因为上回我说的是格雷戈嘧啶... No, 'cause last time it was about Greg-acil...
也许你记得那是方便的胶囊型 which if you recall comes in convenient gel-tab form.
听着 我不想你来找我玩 Look, I don't want you hanging out with me.
我不需要你该死的同情 I don't need your stupid pity.
没关系 你走好了 It's fine, you can just go.
不是 不是 No, no.
你理解错了 我来这里不是因为我同情你 You got it all wrong. I'm not here 'cause I pity you.
而是因为我妈强迫我来 I'm actually here because my mom is making me.
那更糟 That's actually worse.
是的 我知道 Yeah, I know.
听着 我没事 真的没事 你就...走吧 Look, it's okay. Honestly, I'm fine. Just... just go.
好吧 瑞秋 你听我把话说完 Okay, Rachel, just listen to me for a second.
如果我不来找你玩... My mom is gonna turn my life into a living hell...
那我妈会把我的生活变成人间地狱 if I don't hang out with you.
我完全没有夸张她的烦人程度 I can't overstate how annoying she's being about this.
她几乎是唠叨界的勒布朗·詹姆斯 She's basically like the LeBron James of nagging.
勒布朗·詹姆斯是打篮球的 LeBron James plays basketball.
我知道勒布朗·詹姆斯是谁 I know who LeBron James is.
听着 我知道我来这帮不了你 Look, I know I'm not doing you any favors here.
我来这是想请你帮我一个忙 What I'm asking is for you to do me a favor.
你想请我帮你一个忙? You want a favor from me?
是的 Yes.
就让我和你一起玩一天吧 Just let me hang out with you for one day.
我就能向我妈交差了 I could tell my mom we hung out
之后我们就不再干涉彼此的生活 and then we'll just be out of each other's lives.
成交? Deal?
成交 Deal.
保证 Word.
那是黑人权利敬礼吗? Is that a Black Power salute?
不是 我只是想碰个拳 No, I was going in for a fist bump.
我站在这里碰不到你的拳头 I can't fist bump you from up here.
对 我意识到了 Yeah, I realize that.
书挺多 Books.
不错 Nice.
然后是... And, uh...
树丛墙纸 tree wallpaper.
挺好的 That's good.
为什么好? Why?
说不上来 I don't know.
友情在劫难逃 第一日
这房间里枕头好多 There's a lot of pillows in here.
唔 Mmm-hmm.
这里到底有... 有多少个枕头? Seriously, like, how many... how many pillows is that?
我不知道 I don't know.
要是我也有这么多枕头就好了 I wish I had that many pillows.
那就问你爸妈要点 So, ask your parents for some.
不行 他们会怀疑我的 No, they'd be suspicious or something.
怀疑什么 你整天都在睡觉? What, that you'd sleep all the time?
不 大概会怀疑 No. Probably assume
我在上面打飞机吧 I was gonna masturbate all over them.
他们总是把我想得很恶心 They just have some gross ideas about me.
但那是他们的想法 But that's on them.
他们买的都是性感的枕头 They're always getting sexy pillows.
这个枕头挺好看的 This is a nice pillow.
很明显它是公的... This pillow is a dude, obviously...
但是它让我想起我家以前 but it reminds me of this pillow
有个叫弗朗西丝科的枕头 we used to have named Francesca.
和它颜色差不多 They have a similar coloring.
我们最后不得不把 Anyway, Francesca, we had to eventually
弗朗西丝科送人... give away because in the end...
因为我们之间的感情成了问题 that whole situation was just a real problem.
一团糟 It was a mess.
没人能否认 There was a real chemistry
我们之间有种化学反应 between us both that I think no one could deny.
我知道世人都认为那是错的... I know the world may have thought it was wrong...
但是我个人认为 世人才是错的... but I think, personally, the world was wrong...
一个枕头和一个男孩... about what could be between...
能产生怎样的情愫... a pillow, and a boy...
而男孩自此成为男人 who became a man.
随便吧 我只是... Or whatever. I'm just...
想搞笑一下 trying to be funny.
不 你说得很好玩 谢谢你 No, that was good. Thank you.
该死 Oh, shit.
厄尔: 你在哪呢 傻逼? 我要吃光你的鱿鱼了 我其实该走了 I actually have to go.
没事 是谁呀? That's okay. Who was that?
抱歉 是厄尔 Sorry. Uh, that was Earl.
厄尔是谁? Oh, who's Earl?
你也许记得15分钟前的那个厄尔 You may remember Earl from 15 minutes ago.
大咪咪 Titties.
有人以为厄尔是我的朋友 So, some people think Earl is my friend,
但他真的不是 but he's really not.
他更像是我的合作伙伴 He's more like a coworker.
从幼儿园起我就认识他了 I've known him since kindergarten.
他家离我家只有几步路 His house is a short walk from mine,
但是他家周围环境很差 but in a much tougher neighborhood.
他的爸爸在德州 他的妈妈有抑郁症 His dad is in Texas, his mom is a depressed shut-in.
而他哥哥德里克的狗 杜菲 And his brother Derrick's dog Doopie
总有一天会把我吃了 will definitely eat me someday.
杜菲 杜菲 冷静! Doopie, Doopie, chill!
所以这么多年来 我们基本都是在我家玩 So over the years we've mostly hung out at my place.
一般和我爸爸一起玩 他是社会学终身教授 Usually with my dad, a tenured sociology professor.
小猫 你有什么能耐? 想打架吗? What you got, cat? You wanna fight?
我猜你不敢吧 废废猫 Didn't think so, punk-ass cat.
- 孩子们! - 他的工作让他可以 - Boys! - His job allows him
经常无所事事地待在家 to be frequently at home doing nothing.
你们一定要来好好看看这个 You'll want to pay close attention to this.
疯狂的征服者 阿基尔 The insane conquistador, Aguirre,
正狂暴地穿过丛林... is raging through the jungle...
去寻找并不存在的黄金之城 in search of a golden city that doesn't exist.
"上帝的愤怒" "The Wrath of God."
经典的外国影片 It's a classic of foreign cinema.
"还有谁和我一起去?" "Who else is with me?"
除了一流的电影... In addition to the best films...
这是墨鱼 This is cuttlefish.
我家还有古怪之极的食物 my house also has the weirdest food.
一种貌似鱿鱼的海洋生物 A sea creature much like a squid.
是受人喜爱的东亚零食 It is a favorite East Asian snack food.
很明显 我们家庭背景相差悬殊 Obviously we come from pretty different backgrounds.
但不知为何 我们的喜好差不多 But somehow, we like most of the same things.
的确 它的气味在西方人闻起来 Yes, its smell is odd and repellent
又奇怪又恶心 to our Western noses.
而且 我们很早就意识到 And we learned pretty early on
我俩是唯一喜欢... that we were the only ones who liked...
例如 经典外国电影的 for example, classics of foreign cinema.
为什么我们会喜欢? Why did we like them?
很难说出原因 It's hard to say.
也许它们很奇怪 而且常充满暴力 Maybe it's that they were weird and often violent,
就像我们 like us.
有的很费解并且可能毫无意义 就像生活 Or confusing and possibly meaningless, like life.
"你不能逃出这个臭烘烘的营地 "You can't escape of this stinkin' camp
因为不知道他们何时会来电话 because you never know when they call you.
因为你拿了工资 签了合同" Because you're paid for, you're under contract."
总之 我们太喜欢电影了 Anyway, we liked them so much
所以我们开始自己拍摄 we started making our own.
开拍! Action!
每部电影的概念就是... The idea behind each one was...
我们选一部喜欢的电影 we took a film that we liked
然后把电影名改得蠢一点 and made the title stupider.
再拍成新的电影 And then made a new film "老民凯恩" "大开屁界" "罗斯玛丽的嫩萝卜" "四百基" "不死鼻鼬2" "扒又1/2的午饭" "粪人" "轰菱艳" "桃色汉堡" "迷踪记"
来反映这些蠢影名 to reflect the new stupid title. "老民凯恩" "大开屁界" "罗斯玛丽的嫩萝卜" "四百基" "不死鼻鼬2" "扒又1/2的午饭" "粪人" "轰菱艳" "桃色汉堡" "迷踪记"
这拍摄套路只能产出烂片... It's a formula that only produces horrible films... "老民凯恩" "大开屁界" "罗斯玛丽的嫩萝卜" "四百基" "不死鼻鼬2" "扒又1/2的午饭" "粪人" "轰菱艳" "桃色汉堡" "迷踪记"
但是不知为何我们一直遵循着 but for some reason we keep using it. "老民凯恩" "大开屁界" "罗斯玛丽的嫩萝卜" "四百基" "不死鼻鼬2" "扒又1/2的午饭" "粪人" "轰菱艳" "桃色汉堡" "迷踪记"
"与巨型安德烈晚餐"(仿"与安德烈晚餐") "老民凯恩" "大开屁界" "罗斯玛丽的嫩萝卜" "四百基" "不死鼻鼬2" "扒又1/2的午饭" "粪人" "轰菱艳" "桃色汉堡" "迷踪记"
"与巨型安德烈晚餐"(仿"与安德烈晚餐")
"轻蔑其貌(她是塑料人)"(仿"轻蔑")
"少吸气"(仿"断了气")
"毛 老 摩"(仿"哈洛与慕德")
"威尼斯疑魂之卧槽小丑杀人"(仿"威尼斯疑魂")
"封印七只海豹"(仿"第七封印")
"掏粪狂"(仿"偷窥狂")
"暴力胡同" 影评: 比"穷街陋巷"更为出彩!(仿"穷街陋巷")
"魂断球尼斯"(仿"魂断威尼斯")
我们制作了42部小电影 We've made 42 films.
也许你以为我们已经停止拍摄了 You'd think we'd have stopped making them by now.
但是并没有 But we haven't.
"尖叫的负担"(仿"梦想的负担") "说实话你哪都去不了 "Honestly, it's like you can't go anywhere.
你不能逃出这个臭烘烘的地方... You can't escape this stinking place... "尖叫的负担"(仿"梦想的负担")
因为不知道他们何时会来电话... because you don't know when they call you...
而且你签了合同拿了工资 这真是蠢话 'cause you are under contract and you're paid to be here, it's bullshit.
是的 就是这种感觉 Yeah, and it's like, you know,
我什么都做不了 我不是自由之身..." I can't do anything. I'm not a free person..."
说实话 这是你们作品里我最喜欢的一部 Truly, one of my favorites from your oeuvre.
对暴力大自然成熟的研究 A mature investigation into the nature of violence.
老爸 我说了一万次了 Dad, for like the billionth time,
你不能看我们的电影 you're not allowed to watch these.
我是粉丝好嘛 I'm a fan.
你又要去见那个女孩了吗? You gonna go see that girl again?
是啊 大概是的 I mean, probably, yeah.
你要玩她的咪咪吗? You're gonna play with them titties?
不 不是那样的关系 No. It's not like that.
这就不对了 Well, that's not right.
这可能是她在世上最后一次有机会 I mean, this could be her last chance on Earth
和男人在一起 to be with a man.
别装作事不关己的样子 Don't make this about you.
厄尔! Earl!
首先 她要是那么容易死 First of all, if it's that high-stakes,
我估计都不能勃起 probably won't even be able to get a boner.
我提到勃起了吗? Did I even say shit about boners?
没有 No.
急性髓细胞白血病到底是个什么癌症? What kind of cancer even is acute myelogenous leukemia?
就是癌症 呃... You know, cancer of the, uh...
的一种 the thing.
"全是蠢话!" "It's bullshit!"
安提耶坦之战是美国历史上 The Battle of Antietam was the bloodiest day
最血腥的一战 in American history.
同学们 你们有什么要说的? Class, what do you have to say for yourselves?
尊重科研 Respect the research.
就是这样! That is what I'm talking about!
好了 赶紧逃命吧 All right, run for your lives.
性命要紧 走吧 走吧 Save yourselves. Go, go, go, go, go.
干得漂亮 各位 Good work today, everybody.
巴姆 走吧 爱你 干得漂亮 Way to go. Bam. Love it. Good stuff.
干得好 今天表现很棒 Good job. Excellent work today.
- 很棒 干得漂亮 - 嘿 我可以和你谈谈吗? - Excellent. Nice job. - Hey, can I talk to you?
能耽误你几分钟吗? Can I talk to you for a second?
当然 格雷戈 怎么了? Sure, Greg, what's up?
呃 你知道什么是白血病吗? Uh, do you know any facts about leukemia?
白血病? Leukemia?
知道 这是一种血液和/或骨髓的癌症 Yeah, it's a cancer of the blood and/or bone marrow.
怎么了? Why?
所以这种癌症是全身性的? Right, so it's pretty spread out in the body?
是的 就是这样 That is a fact, yes.
人要是得了多久会死? How soon do people die from it?
这种病治愈可能性很大 老兄 I think it's often pretty treatable, bud.
问这个干嘛? Why do you ask?
你知道瑞秋·库什纳得了白血病吧? Well, you know Rachel Kushner has leukemia, right?
等等 瑞秋得了什么? Wait, Rachel has what?
我真是蠢出新高度了 I'm, like, innovatively stupid.
大家早晚会知道的 Everyone was gonna find out sooner or later.
只是不喜欢被迫跟人分享我的一切 Just hate having to share everything about myself.
我也是这样 I'm the exact same way.
你要是不想和人说话 You know, one thing you can do
你可以做件事... if you don't want to talk to anyone...
那就是进入扭曲状态 is just enter a subhuman state.
像这样 你装成很烦的人 Here, pretend you're someone annoying.
"嗨 瑞秋 "Hi, Rachel.
听说你得了癌症我很难过" I'm really sorry you have cancer."
这会有用吗? Does that ever work?
当然 每次都有用 Yeah, of course. It works all the time.
这叫非暴力不合作 It's called passive resistance.
就是甘地使的那一招 You know, that's what Gandhi was all about.
甘地肯定没用过扭曲状态这招 I'm pretty sure Gandhi never did the subhuman thing.
他肯定有 Yeah he did .
这招让印度独立了呢 快试试 That's how India achieved statehood. Here, try it.
才不 Nope.
来吧 很简单的 Come on, it's easy.
好吧 你还可以做件事 Okay. Or another thing you can do is just
就是直接装死 flat-out pretend to be dead.
来烦我 Say something annoying to me.
嗯... Um...
"嘿 瑞秋 希望你能记住 "Hey, Rachel. I just want you to remember
你的癌症是上帝的安排" that your cancer is all part of God's plan."
嘿 混球 Hey, asshole.
对 看过来 Yeah, over here.
那我就直言不讳了 Just so we're straight on this,
你建议一个身患癌症的姑娘... you're advising a girl with cancer...
去装死 to pretend to be dead.
不 说真的 No, seriously.
想想你在干嘛呢 傻逼 Think about what you're doing here, dickhead.
我忧郁的金刚狼脸 I've been doing my broody Wolverine face on
被贴在这姑娘的墙上... this girl's wall...
已经五年零三个月了 for five and a quarter years,
而现在 我还贴在这里... and at this point, I'm probably only still here...
多半因为她要是把我撕下来 because she'd feel weirdly guilty
会觉得愧疚和背叛了我 or disloyal taking me down.
但要是我让你这个蠢货 But I'm goddamned if I'm letting
就这么大摇大摆进来胡说八道... a little punk like you waltz in here...
那我就真该死了! stupiding up the place!
我可看着你呢 老弟 Not on my watch, pal.
格雷戈 怎么了? Greg, what's wrong?
真的很抱歉 I'm really sorry.
我不应该叫你去装死 I shouldn't have told you to pretend to be dead.
太没分寸了 That was really insensitive.
我是病了 又不是要死了 I mean, I'm sick. I'm not dying.
我知道 但是我... Yeah, I know, but I just...
我觉得这样太奇怪了 Now I'm being all weird about it.
而且没法变得不奇怪 因为... And I can't get un-weird, 'cause I just...
尽管你那么说 despite what you said,
但我还是坐在这想着... I'm clearly still sitting here thinking...
"死亡 死亡 死亡 死亡" "death, death, death, death, death, death."
我说的就是那样! That's exactly what I'm talking about!
假如这是一个浪漫爱情故事... So if this was a touching romantic story...
此刻我们应该会有一种全新的情感 this is probably where a new feeling
冲上头脑... would wash over me...
然后彼此对望 突然间开始疯狂地亲热... and our eyes would meet and suddenly we would be furiously making out...
干柴烈火 with the fire of a thousand suns.
但是这不是浪漫爱情故事 But this isn't a touching romantic story.
- 就这样... - 对 - Anyway... -Yep.
但是我们还是成为了朋友 But we did still become friends.
我和瑞秋成为真正的朋友篇
也即 没有回头之路
丹尼尔·克雷格的问题在于他有口音 对吗? Daniel Craig's thing is, he's got an accent, right? 友情在劫难逃 第4日
所以他说话口型很奇怪... So he's used to talking with his mouth in a weird shape... 友情在劫难逃 第4日
因此他有个翘嘴巴 像个女人 which is why he has pouty lips, like a woman.
友情在劫难逃 第7日 舔屏高科技 比如我可以把三明治用短信发给你 Lickable technology, like, I could text you a sandwich.
在他脖子后面的皮肤下有个按钮 There's a button on the nape of his neck, under the skin.
想要他闭嘴 就去按一下 Just push it if you want him to stop.
友情在劫难逃 第8日 你相信吗 有动物和我们住在一起 Do you believe animals just live in our house,
而家里人都没有意见? and everyone's cool with it? 友情在劫难逃 第8日
而且是真的动物哦? Like, real animals? 友情在劫难逃 第8日
而且是真的动物哦? Like, real animals?
算了 该你说了 Anyway. You talk now.
你是说 谈癌症? You mean, talk about cancer?
要是你想说就说吧 Only if you want to.
最难过的就是看着我妈 The hardest part is watching my mom
极力去处理这一切 trying to deal with it all.
有时候我会想 万一最后 And sometimes, I mean, I do think if it ends up
独留她一人在家... that she's alone in that house...
她孤身一人了 她和我爸爸互相憎恨 She has no one. She and my dad hate each other.
她也没有兄弟姐妹 She has no siblings.
我不知道她能怎么办 I don't know what she'd do.
不要哭 Don't cry.
我没有哭 I'm not crying.
好吧 你要是想哭就哭吧 Right, well, you know, you can cry if you need to.
你刚才说"不要哭" I thought you said, "Don't cry."
我和我爸爸以前常在街区散步 Me and my dad used to walk around the block
然后数松鼠 and count squirrels.
为什么? 他是在松鼠普查中心工作吗? Why? Did he work for, like, the squirrel census?
不 这只是我们在一起时 No, it was just something we did
没事做找乐子而已 when it was time for us to spend time together.
我们数松鼠的时候其它什么都不说 We didn't even say anything while we did it.
所说的不过是: All we'd say was stuff like:
"七只松鼠" "过去两只 九只了" "Squirrel, seven." "Two squirrels, nine."
天啊 你马上去申请爸爸赔偿金吧 Jesus. You need to apply for a dad refund immediately.
我是哪个派的? What group am I in?
什么? What?
昨天你告诉我 你把学校所有的学生 Yesterday you were saying you'd mapped out
都划分了派别 the entire high school by group.
我是哪个派别的? What's my group?
- 你要听? - 是啊 - Seriously? - Yeah.
无聊犹太高三女生派 2-A班分支 Boring Jewish Senior Girls, Subgroup 2-A.
你该感谢我的坦诚 Please appreciate how honest I was just now.
你就是个混蛋 You're an asshole.
那你是哪个派的? What group are you in?
呃 事实上 我没有派别 Uh, I'm not in a group, actually.
不烂的派我都高攀不起 I just wouldn't belong to a group that doesn't suck.
我差劲得要命 You know, I'm terminally awkward
而且长得像只土拨鼠 and I have a face like a little groundhog.
所以... So...
你不会真这么想吧 You can't really think that.
不是我要那么想 No, I don't think that.
那就是事实 I know that.
我只是觉得 像我这样的孩子... I just feel like, you know, for a kid like me...
在高中最好的情况 in high school, best case scenario,
不过是...存活下来 你懂吗? just... survive. You know?
不去树敌或是做出让人记一辈子的蠢事... Survive without creating any mortal enemies...
这样存活下来 or hideously embarrassing yourself forever.
存活到上大学? Just survive until college?
大学? 不 天啊 大学更差劲 College? No. God, college is going to be even worse.
什么? What?
我是说 至少高中三点就放学了... I mean, at least high school, it's over at 3:00...
而且基本都是我认识的人 and it's kids I mostly know by now.
而大学里会不停遇见陌生人 But college is just gonna be non-stop strangers.
有的还要和你住在一起 And some of them even live in your room.
那就意味着你永远无法放松 It's like you can literally never relax.
可以预计不到两周 我就要恐慌至死 I see myself dying of a panic attack two weeks in.
我可能就不申请大学了 I might just not apply.
这是我听你说过最蠢的话 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say.
或许它还排不上前五蠢呢 It's probably not even top five.
而且 不管是高中还是大学 And, you know, high school, college,
我们不得不把人生这几年... we're forced to spend these years of our lives...
和由不得我们选择 in randomly selected groups of people
又毫无共同点的人耗在一起 that we have nothing in common with.
想想就怕 It's a nightmare.
其实大家心里都是这么认为的 Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
恭喜你 格雷戈 Congratulations, Greg.
明天你要和无聊犹太高三女生派 Tomorrow, you're eating lunch with
2-A班分支共进午餐 boring Jewish Senior Girls, Subgroup 2-A.
你一般坐在哪儿? So where do you usually sit?
咱们简直就像在阿富汗吃饭 It's literally like we're trying to have lunch in Kandahar.
瑞秋 我们刚知道今年舞会的主题竟然是 Rachel, we just found out the theme for this year's prom
"难忘佳骑" "A Knight to Remember."
- 骑是"骑士"的骑 - 中世纪舞会! - Knight with a "K". - Medieval prom!
距离舞会不是还有六个月吗? Isn't prom like six months away?
小伙伴们 这位是格雷戈 Hi, guys. This is Greg,
他今天和我们一起吃饭 he's gonna be sitting with us today.
谁要勺子? 没人吗? Anybody need any spoons? No?
你们好 Hello.
格雷戈 为什么你今天会和我们坐一起? So, Greg, why are you sitting with us today?
吃午饭嘛 You know, it's lunch.
总要找个地方坐 不能站着吧 You gotta eat somewhere. Can't stand and eat.
你和瑞秋突然成了好朋友 You and Rachel seem very friendly, all of a sudden.
是啊 Yeah.
你找她不过是因为她得了癌症 You're only talking to her because she has cancer.
什么? What?
格雷戈 你和瑞秋就出去玩了一次 Greg, you hung out with Rachel once.
你和她交朋友只是想自我感觉良好 You're befriending her to feel good about yourself.
我没有 No, I'm not.
难道有人会那样做? Who even does that?
你们介意我坐这儿吗? You guys mind if I sit with you?
当然不介意 Of course not.
抱歉 这是一个... Sorry, it's a...
这是一个枕头 用来扮演宝宝 it's a pillow. It's meant to be a baby,
健康课用的 for health class.
你觉得它在这安全吗? You think it's safe here?
枕头吗? A pillow?
格雷戈 你觉得呢? Greg, what do you think?
我不知道 Mmm, I don't know.
最好不要让我碰到 Better not get it too close to me,
要不然我可能会拿它打飞机 otherwise I might just masturbate onto it.
格雷戈 你够恶心的 Greg, that's just weird and gross.
我恐慌又尴尬篇
嘿 大家 Hey, everyone, 我恐慌又尴尬篇
嘿 大家 Hey, everyone,
快看看斯考特·梅休的"霸王龙步伐" check out Scott Mayhew's Tyrannosaurus walk.
从A点挪到B点 用这步伐最好不过 It's a great way to get from point A to point B.
格雷戈 你说话真刻薄 That was really mean, Greg.
我觉得他听见了 I think he heard you.
就这样... And just like that...
八年来苦心经营的低调形象... eight years of carefully-cultivated invisibility...
毁了 gone.
不复存在 Fin.
你妈妈做的饼干? Your mom-made cookies?
不 是"病态菲尔"玩汤克牌输给我的 Nah, I won them off of Ill Phil in a game of tonk.
老是赢你没意思 Got tired of whooping your sorry ass.
真不知道为什么还有人叫它"学者视野生物学" Why do they even call it Scholar Horizons Biology?
我觉得大家应该叫它"学者视野汤克牌" Maybe they should call it Scholar Horizons Tonk.
或者叫"纸足球游戏" Or sometimes Paper Football.
异教徒们 Heathens.
- 怎么了? - 嗨 麦卡锡老师 - What up? - Hi, Mr. McCarthy.
厄尔 你是在吃垃圾食品 Earl, fact, that lunch is garbage.
你这是在我们面前毒害自己 You're literally poisoning yourself right in front of us.
至少我不用喝那些恶心的 At least I ain't eating no funky ass
海藻一样的触须汤 seaweed-looking tentacle soup.
开玩笑 这东西可是宝 Seriously, this stuff is the business.
这是越南菜 叫越南河粉 It's Vietnamese. It's called Pho.
那是"芬芳馥郁" It is "Pho-nomenal."
那让我来喝口试试 Well, let me try some one time.
- 你现在又想喝了? - 是的 - Now you want to try some? - Yeah.
不行 Well, no.
我不许给你食物 It's strictly forbidden for me to give you food.
不过你可以去... However, if you go to...
劳伦斯维尔一家餐厅 Thuyen's Super Saigon Flavor
叫"于耶西贡好风味"... over in Lawrenceville...
然后找于耶 and ask for Thuyen.
告诉他记我账上 就行了 Tell him to put it on my tab. You'll be all set.
我才不要去劳伦斯维尔 I ain't going to no damn Lawrenceville.
那当我没说 Fair enough.
抱歉 我要走了 You'll have to excuse me.
孩子们 Boys.
尊重科研 Respect the research.
要尊重! Respect!
天啊 跟你说 大家都以为 God! You know, people just assume that
瑞秋和我在约会 Rachel and I are dating.
我的人生要毁了 It's ruining my life.
今天我还威胁要性侵一个假娃娃 Today I threatened to sexually assault a fake baby.
又和斯考特·梅休成了死敌 And I became mortal enemies with Scott Mayhew.
这些都是瑞秋的错 Both of which are Rachel's fault.
抱歉这么说 但确实如此 Sorry, but they just are.
当然 我这么抱怨很混账 Of course I'm a dick for complaining about it.
我是说 我这么抱怨真是太混账 I mean, I am a dick for complaining about it.
我其实不是真心这么想 I didn't actually mean any of that.
你还是去玩她们的咪咪吧 Better play with them titties.
你觉得味道奇怪吗? Does this taste strange to you?
汤里有毒品 The soup had drugs.
我意外嗑药篇
麦卡锡一定在汤里加了大麻 McCarthy must've put weed in that soup
因为我的大脑现在一片混乱 because my brain is trying to eat itself.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我现在该去找瑞秋了 I have to go visit Rachel right now.
好 你去吧 Okay, well, you do that.
我去你家里 把你老爸的食物消灭干净 I'm gonna be at your house eatin' up all your dad's food.
不行! 你得来帮我! No! You have to come help!
怎么帮? Help with what?
帮我! Help!
嘿 课堂上麦卡锡是不是表现得像 Hey, in class, do McCarthy act all, like,
磕嗨了? stoned and shit?
我不知道 大概吧 Uh, I don't know. I guess.
偶尔吧 Yeah, sometimes.
不只是偶尔 Well, not sometimes,
你知道我... 你知道他这人 but you know what I'm... you know how he is.
该死的 小子 Goddamn, son.
你他妈整话都说不清了 You can't even put a full damn sentence together.
麦卡锡老师真是疯了才喝加毒品的汤 It's insane that Mr. McCarthy eats soup with drugs in it.
嘿 拜托了 老兄 说话小声点 Hey, come on, man, keep your damn voice down.
我们不能让人知道我们嗑药了 We can't tell anyone we're on drugs.
为什么不能? Why the hell not?
因为这样别人就知道了 Because then they'll know.
我谦逊的小耗子又来了 It's my humble little mouse.
这只小耗子伙伴又是谁? And who is his little mouse friend?
我叫厄尔·杰克森 Earl Jackson.
厄尔是我的合作伙伴 他这人很不错 Earl's just my coworker, and, uh, he's a great guy.
我们就是在这附近转悠 We were just walking around the neighborhood, you know.
也没什么事儿 Not really doing anything,
就是顺路过来打个招呼 and just wanted to come say "What's up?"
因为瑞秋就要剃光头了 'Cause Rachel's about to lose her hair.
我只是想说 Mmm. So, just wanted to say,
"掉了就掉了 没有了更好" you know, "Bye, hair. Good riddance."
她光头会更漂亮 那是事实... She's gonna look great without hair. That's a fact, so...
对 我只是来打声招呼 Yeah, I just wanted to say what's up.
瑞秋! 有两只可爱的小耗子 Rachel! We've got two cute little mouse boys
在咱家门口想和你打招呼! on our doorstep that wanna say hi!
小耗子们... 要来点奶酪吗? Would you two... mice like a little bit of cheese?
好 Okay.
我喜欢你的房间 瑞秋 I like your room, Rachel.
谢谢 格雷戈觉得这儿过于女气了 Thanks. Greg thinks it's too girly.
不 我喜欢女气 我觉得这样很好 No, I love girly, I think it's fine.
不是很女气啊 Well, it ain't too girly.
我见过有些房子是那样的 "哟 粉红蓬松的狗屎" I mean, I've seen some room like "Yo, this some pink puffy bullshit."
比如把哈罗凯蒂 I mean, Hello Kitty posters
和古铜色裸男的海报贴满墙 and chocolate and naked dudes all over the wall.
真是看得我想吐 They make me want to throw up for real.
就算你要吐 也别吐在这好吗? Hey, if you're gonna throw up, don't do it in here, okay?
这是她的房间 This is her room.
随便吧 Anyways.
瑞秋 我们就来看看你怎么样了 Rachel, we really just wanted to see how you was doin'.
谢谢 Thanks.
化疗 真的很糟糕 Yeah, chemotherapy. That really sucks.
格雷戈 Greg.
说什么鬼话呢 老兄? 别说它糟糕 蠢货! What the hell, bro? Don't say it suck, dumb-ass!
化疗确实挺糟的 It does kinda suck.
话是这么说 可是你该做还是得去做 Yeah, but I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do.
大概是吧 Yeah, I guess.
听着 如果你们想走就走吧 Look, you guys can go if you want.
- 我们嗑药了 - 该死! - We're on drugs. - Oh, shit!
你们为什么嗑药? Why are you on drugs?
好吧 我们是不小心嗑的药 Well, we're accidentally on drugs.
"不小心"? "Accidentally"?
麦卡锡给了我们一点汤 McCarthy gave us some soup.
是麦卡锡分了我们一点他的 Well, McCarthy gave us some of his,
就是那种普通的正常的汤... you know, just regular, normal soup...
可是结果那汤只剩一点 but then, it was the last of the soup.
所以我们就去餐馆... So we had to go get some more...
再弄点来喝 from a restaurant,
餐馆在一栋办公楼5楼 on the fifth floor of an office building.
同一栋楼里 And in the same building,
还有牙买加大使馆... there was a Jamaican Embassy...
结果我们和一个牙买加 And we ended up getting trapped
拉斯特法里教的人一起困在电梯里... in an elevator with a Rastafarian guy...
他抽得整个电梯乌烟瘴气... And he just hotboxed the whole elevator, so...
我们被困在那大概25分钟... we were stuck in there for, like, 25 minutes...
被迫抽了难闻的大麻二手烟 And we had to breathe the weird marijuana air.
厄尔 是这样吧? Earl, am I right?
真是完美的复述 That's exactly what happened.
你们还真经历了场冒险 You guys had quite an adventure.
嗑药的感觉真的很差 Being on drugs just really sucks.
是和嗑药的人在一起的感觉很差 Being around people on drugs sucks.
真抱歉 眼下这真是糟透了 抱歉 This whole situation, really sorry, just sucks. I'm sorry.
你他妈有毛病吧? Yo, yo. What the hell is your problem, man?
道的这些歉和说的这些胡话 All apologetic and shit,
真他妈丢人 making shit 'bout your sorry ass.
听着 我们今天来这可不是搞这个的 好吗? Look, that's not what we came here to do. Okay?
你要真想帮忙 就带她出去 You wanna help, you gonna take this girl out
吃点冰淇淋 to get some ice cream.
我也要吃 我爱死冰淇淋了 And me, too, 'cause I love that shit.
你喜欢吃冰淇淋吗? You like ice cream?
喜欢 Yeah.
那你是上学的时候认识格雷戈的吗? So, you know Greg from class?
我很小的时候就认识这家伙了 I've known Greg ever since we were little.
那时候才念幼儿园 对吧? You know, I was in y'all kindergarten, right?
真的吗? Really?
我记得你 Mmm-hmm. I remember you.
你就是那个管贾斯汀·琼斯叫变态的女孩... You was the girl who called Justin Jones perverted...
因为他给女孩们展示他屁股上的胎记 for showing girls the birthmark on his butt.
天啊 没错! Oh, my God, yes!
嗯 那小子跑过来 Yeah, dude came running up,
把屁股露给你看 你一脸淡定 showed you his butt. You were calm.
说"贾斯汀 只有变态才露屁股" Said, "Justin, only perverts show their butts."
我当时在场 I was right there.
我真不敢相信你还记得 I can't believe you remember that.
你是个英雄 他再也不敢到处露屁股 You a hero. Shut his perverted ass right down.
我永远也忘不了 I never forget it.
你和格雷戈是合作伙伴? So you and Greg are coworkers?
不 我们是朋友 Naw, we friends.
他就是不肯把别人称作"朋友" 这小子有毛病 He just hates calling people his friend. Dude's got issues.
对 确实有毛病 什么原因? Yeah, he does. What's going on?
我也不懂 也许跟家人有关吧 Man, I don't even know. It might be his folks.
他老妈总告诉他 I mean, dude's mom always tellin' him
他长得有多帅 但其实他不帅 how handsome he is, which he ain't.
以至于他现在都不肯信任身边的人 So now he think he can't trust anybody close to him.
还有他那个奇怪的老爹 Dude's weird-ass dad
和什么人都不亲近 除了一只猫 don't socialize with anybody 'cept the cat.
所以那个榜样老爹一个朋友也没有 So that's a role model ain't got no friends.
结果就是 这小子特别怕 Bottom line, dude's terrified
称别人为朋友... of callin' somebody his friend...
要是有人说"嘿 老兄 我不是你的朋友" And they sayin', "Hey, bro, I'm not your friend."
他就得去自杀了 Then he'd have to kill himself.
不过你们怎么叫合作伙伴? But how are you coworkers?
我们一起拍电影 We, um, we make films.
电影? Movies?
对 我们一起拍电影有几年了 Yeah. We been making them for a few years now.
一共拍了大约42部 We have, like, 42 in total.
格雷戈! 你从没和我说过 Greg! You never told me.
我们从未告诉任何人 Well, we never told anybody 'bout them.
都是烂片 我是说 烂到爆 They suck. I mean, they're terrible.
我敢肯定那些电影不烂 I'm pretty sure they don't suck.
要是你愿意 你可以自己去看看烂不烂 Well, you can see for yourself if you want.
你确定吗? Are you sure?
当然了 没什么好担心的 Hell, yeah, don't even worry about it.
就是别告诉别人 Just don't tell nobody.
当然 我不会告诉别人的 No, of course, I won't.
好了 小子 站起来吧 All right, son, get on your feet.
好主意 Sounds good.
我们要去哪儿? Where are we going?
大卫·林奇(未出演) "丝绒酒" 充满异域风情的饮品... 满含寓言之梦（仿"蓝丝绒"）
原来厄尔什么都不在乎篇
我们可以送你回家 We can walk you home.
他还没恢复过来 He needs to recover,
你还是照看好他吧 and you probably should look after him.
一路平安 Peace, peace.
- 谢谢 - 再见 - Thanks. - Bye.
该死 厄尔 Goddamn it, Earl.
小子 别跟我来这套 Son, don't even start.
猪蹄 Pig's foot.
随着我们这个愚蠢故事的深入... So, we're pretty far into this stupid story now...
你可能会告诉自己 and you're probably saying to yourself,
"嘿 我喜欢这个叫瑞秋的女孩 "Hey. I like this girl Rachel.
如果她最后去世了 我会很郁闷的" And I'm gonna be pissed if she dies at the end."
所以我想告诉你 别担心 她活下来了 So I am just telling you. Don't freak out. She survives.
希望这样能让你安心 So, hopefully, that reassures you.
虽然这又怎么会有用呢? Although, actually, why would it?
你们今天的热情真叫我感慨 I'm just overwhelmed with your enthusiasm today.
我猜我们得用 I guess we're just gonna have to do it
最古老的方法来解决了 the old-fashioned way.
我脑子里已经有了一个人 I'm thinking of one of you.
在这我就不提他的名字了 I'm not gonna mention any names,
不过你的名字缩写... but your initials...
是斯考特·马修 are Scott Mayhew.
其实格雷戈告诉大家 In fact, Greg's been telling everyone
你的汤里有大麻 your soup has marijuana in it.
我没有告诉任何人 I didn't tell anyone.
我在公交车上听见你喊了 I heard you bellowing about it on public transit.
是事实吗 格雷戈? Is that a fact, Greg?
听着 昨天厄尔和我不知怎么就嗨了 Look, yesterday, Earl and I got stoned somehow.
就是在喝过你的汤之后 And it was after we both ate your soup.
而我们并没有抽大麻 And we didn't smoke any marijuana,
我也从来没抽过 所以... which I have never done, so...
你的汤里一定有大麻 your soup must have drugs in it,
因为我们吃过的食物就只有汤... 'cause that was the only thing we both ate...
还有从毒贩子"病态菲尔"那 other than some cookies we got from Ill Phil,
拿的饼干 the drug dealer.
老兄 你怎么会不知道是饼干的原因? Man, how did you not know it was the cookies?
老兄 是你这笨蛋在车上大吼大叫的 Man, it was your dumb ass yelling that shit on the bus.
哟 格雷戈! Yo, Greg!
你打我的小报告了? Did you snitch on me?
他当然打了! He did snitch on you!
我就在场 I was there.
我听见你嘲笑我 I heard you ridiculing me
就当着你那些恶心的闺蜜的面 in front of your loathsome harem.
你让自己... 多了一个死敌 You have made... a mortal enemy.
我永远都不会放过你 And I will never stop hounding you.
没错 而且你的死敌是两个 老子可捅过人的 Yeah, you made two mortal enemies. I stabbed a dude.
老天啊 Jesus.
我会用20招干掉你 I'll kiil you in 20 different ways
用刀捅死你 拿死光射死你 Stab you with blades. Shoot you with death rays.
把你丢在迷宫里 拿蛋黄酱噎死你 Abandon you in a maze. Choke you on mayonnaise
瑞秋化疗数周篇
我能说些什么呢?
所以他们还没真的动我 So they haven't really done anything.
过去快一个月了 It's been about a month now.
他们确实说永远不会放过我... They did say they're never gonna stop hounding me...
所以也就是迟早的事吧... so, sooner or later... you know...
迟早被他们抓到 gonna get hounded.
对不起 下次我会带些花来 Sorry, next time I'll bring you some flowers.
不过我都不知道能放在哪里 Though I don't even know where I'd put them.
几乎只有呕吐筐还是空的 It's like, like the only place left is the barf bucket.
鲜花 Flowers.
你呕吐的地方 Where you barf.
我喜欢你头上的帽子 I like that hat.
蛮可爱的 It's pretty cute.
听着 我从小就不是特别漂亮... Look, I've never been very beautiful...
那也没关系 因为我不看重外貌 and that's fine because that's not important to me.
但是... But...
我本以为接受我现在的样子没那么难 I thought it'd be easier looking like this.
但并非如此 It's just not.
大家来看到我这样... Everyone comes in here and sees me...
明显能看出他们的厌恶 and they're so clearly repulsed.
真的比我想象的难多了 It's so much harder than I thought it would be.
嘿 别这么说 Hey, come on.
你很漂亮 You look good.
我很丑 格雷戈! 真的很丑 I'm ugly, Greg! I'm so ugly.
每个人都觉得应该对我说好话 Everyone feels like they have to lie to me
而没人意识到那更伤人 and no one realizes how insulting that is.
大家都觉得是在帮我 其实并非如此 Everyone thinks they're helping, and they're not.
拿着 Here.
这片子叫"罗生疹" That one's called Mono Rash.
根据黑泽明的"罗生门"拍的 It's based on Rashomon by Kurosawa.
故事讲的是厄尔一直在杀人 Plot's basically just Earl killing people
因为他长了疹子... 'cause he has a rash...
病因是单核细胞增多症 from mono, you know, the STD.
不管怎样 我们就要制作新片了 Anyway, we're supposed to go work on
致敬"现代启示录" our homage to Apocalypse Now.
我们的叫"一盒郁金香 哇" Ours is called A Box O' Lips, Wow,
肯定比"罗生疹"还逊 which is even worse than Mono Rash.
它是一部战争片 讲的是两个人 It's a war movie where these two guys
卷入了残酷得难以形容的战争... take part in the unspeakable brutality of war...
然后他们找到了一盒郁金香 and then they find a box of tulips.
"一盒郁金香" 然后他俩就"哇"地大叫 Box O' Lips, yeah. And they're just, "Wow."
郁金香的美丽让他们难以忘却 They can't get over how great these tulips are,
就像这样叫"一盒郁金香 哇!" it's like, "A box o' lips, wow!"
不过最惨的是郁金香太贵了 The worst part is, tulips might not
完全超出了我们的预算 even be in the budget anymore.
我还是在这儿呆着吧 I should actually just stay here
不能让你看我们拍的烂片 and keep you from watching that.
没关系 你去拍吧 No! I'm fine. Go make it.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 那祝你尽情享受 Okay. Have fun watching
这部史无前例的烂片 this incredibly terrible movie.
嗯 祝你新作顺利 Mmm. Have fun making the next one.
唔 Mmm-hmm.
嘿 白人小子! Hey, white boy!
给我做一朵郁金香 不然我就 Why don't you make me a tulip 'fore I have Doopie come down
放杜菲下来咬你 there and eat your face.
不过 说真的 你能帮我做一朵郁金香吗? But no, for real. Can you make me a tulip?
天啊 我真的在片场吗? Oh, my God! Am I on set right now?
- 我去! - 天啊! - Oh, damn! - Oh, my God!
啊! 我好激动! 开机! 停机! Ahh! I can't take it! Action! Cut!
麦迪森 你来这干嘛? Madison, why are you here?
瑞秋说我能在这儿找到你... Rachel said that I could find you here...
你的电话又直接转语音信箱了 and your phone was going straight to voice mail.
多半因为这里没有信号! Probably 'cause there ain't no good service down there!
但我想来跟你说个事 But I had to get here 'cause I had to let you know.
我去看望瑞秋 送她慰问卡... So, I was visiting Rachel, and I was giving her a card...
然后她正在看你们的秘密电影 and she was watching one of your secret movies.
天啊 你不会也看了吧? Oh, my God. Wait, did you see any of it?
没有! 我一进去她就关了 No! No, she turned it off immediately.
拍得挺好的 真的 It was good, it was good.
你们两个都扮演日本人... You know, you're both Japanese, and...
厄尔将你斩首 就看到这 Earl beheaded you, and, but then,
她就把电影关了 she, like, turned it off.
但是我有个想法 有一个很赞的想法 But I had a brainstorm. Okay? I had an amazing brainstorm.
我觉得...你得为瑞秋拍部片子 I realized... you need to make a film for Rachel.
你怎么想? What do you think?
肯定会成为她的心头最爱... It would be like her favorite thing in the entire world...
也会是你能做的最重要的事 and it's like the most important thing you could do.
你一定得答应 You have to do it.
好吧 考虑下 Yeah, word.
"考虑下"? 意思是你同意了? "Word"? Like, word, you'll do it, word?
是的 Yep.
天啊 太好了! Oh, my God, awesome!
那什么 我迫不及待想看你的成片了 Okay, well, I can't wait to see it.
好了 我得走了 不过... Um, okay, I gotta go, but...
停机! Cut!
我胡说的! That's a wrap!
继续拍! Rolling!
大咪咪 Titties.
妈的! Goddamn it!
接下来的几周 In the next few weeks,
我开始拍摄那部片子了吗? 并没有 did I start making that movie? No.
因为我并没答应拍这部片 Because I didn't agree to make that movie.
我只是说"考虑下" All I said was, "Word."
"考虑"也可以是什么意义都没有 "Word" could mean anything.
而且至少还有一两个月 Plus, we had at least a month or two...
瑞秋才能看完我们拍过的烂片 before she'd ran through all the terrible films we'd already made.
比如"袜条橙子" For example, A Sockwork Orange.
"袜条橙子"
"古歌"? "Droogle"?
是古惑仔用的谷歌 It's Google for droogs.
那是什么? What's that?
没什么 只是我的一块心病 Nothing, just the bane of my existence.
我妈妈逼我一直带着这本书 Which my mom is forcing me to carry around
除非我开始申请大学 until I apply to some colleges.
她说这像份菜单 She says it's like a menu
写满我的未来 我想说"是啊 for my future, and I was, like, "Sure.
里面的菜品只会 A menu that only has food
在接下来四年里给我带来羞辱" that will humiliate me for four years."
在上大学的问题上 你能不能别那么傻 You have to be less of an idiot about college.
听着 如果你觉得大家不会喜欢你... Listen, even if you think people won't like you...
当然这个想法本身就很荒唐... which is literally an insane thing to think...
你在大学里曝光要少多了 you're way less exposed to people in college.
高中一周40小时课 High school is 40 hours of class a week.
在大学里就只有15到20小时 College is, like, 15 and 20.
如果你不想与人合住 And if you don't want to live with other people,
可以去匹兹堡州立大学 then go to Pittsburgh State.
可以住家里 Live at home.
总好过放弃大学 It's better than sitting college out
就为了你莫名的自我厌恶吧 because you irrationally hate yourself.
不是没有原因的 Not irrationally, though.
申请匹兹堡州立大学吧 Apply to Pittsburgh State.
现在就申请 早点申请 Right now. Apply early.
来 当着我的面申请匹兹堡州立 Come on. Do it in front of me. Apply to Pittsburgh State.
我要是说不呢? What if I say no?
我癌症四期了 I have stage four cancer.
所以你要是拒绝的话 你就是个混蛋 So that would be a pretty dick move. Come on.
好吧 Fine.
"为什么我想... 上大学 "Why I want to go... to college.
申请人 韦纳·荷索("陆上行舟"导演) By Werner Herzog.
入学条件苛刻的 The highly selective
招生过程... admissions process...
筛掉了残忍和愚蠢的学生 weeds out the cruel and the stupid.
所以大学并不像高中一样... So college is unlike the senseless chaos...
充斥着混乱无序和病态罪行 and sickening enormity of high school.
高中就像恶魔的嘴巴... High school is the mouth of a great demon...
撕咬和咀嚼 biting and chewing
将人们折磨得体无完肤 and smushing people in the face.
令人无法反抗 It is simply overwhelming.
严肃地说 In all seriousness,
我很期待大学生活... I am looking forward to college...
因为我很不适应高中的环境 because I didn't really fit in in high school,
因为我长得像一只耗子..." because of my weird rodent face..."
才没有 No.
"还有说蠢话的习惯" "and a habit of saying the dumbest possible shit."
胡说! No!
"我那发青的面色... "The sheer pastiness of my complexion...
让人看了就想吐" overwhelms all who behold it with existential nausea."
"在高中 我内心深处从未... "In high school, I never truly felt comfortable...
真正感到舒适 in my own skin.
事实上 我是那种... In fact, I've always been someone...
并不真心喜爱自己的人 who doesn't really like themselves.
但那是因为我自认还有成长的空间... But I think that's because I have some growing up to do...
而大学正为我提供了这样一个舞台" and college is the place where I'm going to do it."
这也太私人了吧 That's way too personal.
本来就是个人申请书啊 It's personal essay.
行 你是不是还想看这个... Fine, if you want to see this again...
好吧! 服了你! Okay! Okay!
但只是因为你得了癌症 But only because cancer.
你猜怎么着? 你也得跟我一样去申请大学 And you know what? You have to do this too now. Here.
翻翻这部可怕的大厚书 Page through this huge, horrible book
找到你心仪的大学 and find some colleges.
这部书归你了 That's yours now.
唔 就像是写满你未来的菜单 Mmm. It's like a menu for your future.
我能先看完电影吗? Can I finish my movie first?
# 我会找个角落 # # I'll find a place somewhere in the corner #
# 在那虚掷剩下的光阴 # # I'm gonna waste the rest of my days #
友情在劫难逃 第64日
# 就那样静静地看着窗外 # # Just watching patiently from the window # 友情在劫难逃 第64日
# 就那样静静地看着窗外 # # Just watching patiently from the window #
# 等着某日季节交替 # # Just waiting seasons change someday #
友情在劫难逃 第71日 # 等着某日季节交替 # # Just waiting seasons change someday #
友情在劫难逃 第71日
# 哦 哦 我的梦会把你 # # Oh, oh, my dreams will pull you # 友情在劫难逃 第71日
# 哦 哦 我的梦会把你 # # Oh, oh, my dreams will pull you #
# 拉过那座花园的门 # # through that garden gate #
# 我想做那四处游荡的水手 # # I want to be the wandering sailor #
"窃听无阴谋"(仿"窃听大阴谋")
# 月光映出我俩的影子 # # We're silhouettes by the light of the moon # "窃听无阴谋"(仿"窃听大阴谋")
# 月光映出我俩的影子 # # We're silhouettes by the light of the moon #
# 我坐在窗边玩着单人游戏 # # I sit playing solitaire by the window #
友情在劫难逃 第85日 # 我坐在窗边玩着单人游戏 # # I sit playing solitaire by the window #
友情在劫难逃 第85日
# 等着某日季节交替 啊哈 # # Just waiting Seasons change, aha #
# 等着瞧 某一天 # # You'll see, one day #
# 那些梦想会把你拉进我的门 # # These dreams will pull you through my door #
# 而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋 # # And I'll come running to tie your shoe #
欢迎成为2018届学生 # 而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋 # # And I'll come running to tie your shoe #
# 而我会跑过来拴住你的鞋 # # I'll come running to tie your shoe #
如果我们拍了这部电影 So, if we make this film,
大家会像这样: people are gonna be, like:
"哦 格雷戈和厄尔 "Oh, Greg and Earl,
他们就是那俩拍电影的怪人 they're those weird filmmakers.
总是神经兮兮地乱拍 They're always creepily filming stuff.
也许有天晚上他们会溜进你家 They'll probably sneak into your house one night
拍你睡觉的样子" and film you while you're sleeping."
但是大家可能已经这么想了 But people probably already think that,
- 都怪你给瑞秋看那些蠢片子 - 这真难吃 - 'cause you gave Rachel those stupid films. - This is nasty as hell.
现在我变得那么多疑 So now, I've become completely conspicuous,
整天乱想 like all the time.
大家看着我会想"拍电影的" People look at me and think, "Filmmaker."
要不然就是这么想... When they're not already thinking...
- "那个癌症女的男朋友" - 这是什么玩意儿? - "Cancer girl's boyfriend." - The hell even is this?
味道就像臭狗屎一样 It tastes like a dog's funky-ass butthole.
还有 我们答应拍的那部片子 Furthermore, we agreed to do a film
该拍成什么样 一点概念也没有... that we have no idea what it should look like...
该怎么说 怎么拍 or sound like, or even be.
我是说 我们连拍什么类型的 I mean, what the hell sort of film
都不知道 怎么拍? should we even make? Huh?
我当时怎么想的? I mean, what was I thinking?
你在想那个美女麦迪森 You were thinking that girl Madison
咪咪不错 had nice titties.
我想说 我也喜欢大胸妹 I mean, I like the titties too,
但是该烦恼的是你 but now you got a problem.
因为我压根就没有同意 'Cause I ain't agreed to do this shit.
是你同意的 You did.
你不想来帮我拍吗? Are you not gonna help me make this?
我们拍什么啊 兄弟? The hell we gonna make, son?
他们需要新鲜的灵感 They want fresh inspiration.
我得跟你说 我得到过的 I must tell you, the richest inspiration
最丰富的灵感... I have ever known was...
来自于我在亚马逊与世隔绝的日子 during my period of quarantine in the Amazon.
当时 我和其他六七个人... Where I and a half dozen other...
视线所及之处全是... unfortunates had nothing to watch...
浑身是毛体型巨大的狼蛛... but the bristling, leviathan tarantula...
爬满腐烂破败的茅草屋... bunched up on the rotting, flimsy thatch...
离我们的脸大概只有20厘米 perhaps eight feet above our faces.
蜘蛛有拳头那么大 Spiders the size of your fist.
它们尖牙上的毒液闪闪发光... Their fangs glistening with venom and...
数千只黑色的复眼 their thousand-fold black eyes
在黑暗中眼神呆滞 shining dully in the gloom.
在黑暗中你会听见 In the darkness, you would hear
突如其来的嘶嘶声... the sudden anguished hiss...
那是一只蜘蛛正被成年豹蜂攻击... of a spider being struck by an adult leopard wasp...
它们垂死挣扎时 and in their mortal struggle,
会跌落到某人的床上... they would plummet to one's bed...
各种咬啊 叮啊 打啊... biting and stinging and thrashing...
你知道黄蜂也可以熏着吃吗? You know that you can smoke a hornet?
这样 你回答问题的时候看着我就好了 Okay, so just look at me when you answer the questions.
不要管镜头 好吗? Don't worry about the camera, all right?
好的 蒂尼斯 Okay, Denise.
跟我讲讲瑞秋出生的情形吧 Tell me a little about Rachel's birth.
嗯 瑞秋的出生 Uh, Rachel's birth.
那是多么那难熬的经历啊 What an ordeal that was.
格雷戈 我就... 跟你说一件事 Greg, just... let me tell you one thing.
我真的是一个好母亲 知道吗? I was a really good mom to her, you know?
真的 I really was.
有些单身母亲 她们的孩子过早地成熟... Some single moms, their kids grow up too fast...
而我总是极力避免让瑞秋早熟 but I always tried to protect Rachel from that.
我尽了最大的努力 I did my very best to protect her from...
让她成长得慢一些 明白吗? growing up too quickly, you know?
明白 Right.
但是现在 我懂得有些事情... And now, I'm learning that there are...
是你根本保护不了孩子的 你知道吗? protect your kid from, you know?
不管你做什么 你就是不能... No matter what you do, you just...
那 她有什么喜欢的玩具吗? So, did she have any favorite toys?
在回答这个问题之前 这话是认真的... Before I answer that question, this is serious...
所以你得给我好好听着 so use your ears and listen to me.
我希望你能保证一件事 I want you to promise me something
因为我很关心你 as I care about you.
你得向我保证 在你找到真爱之前... You gotta promise me you're not gonna have a baby...
千万别生孩子 unless you're ready to love
除非你能爱她一辈子... that baby's mother your whole life...
我是认真的 and this is serious.
其他人不会像我这样告诉你 I'm telling you something that nobody's gonna tell you.
不要找那些若即若离的女孩 听见没? Don't pick a girl who's push-pull, you know?
你得找一个全心全意爱你的... You wanna pick somebody who's gonna love you...
永远不会忘记你的... and not forget you, and not...
不会为了某个大屁股贱人抛弃你的 leave you for someone with a big, fat ass.
这么说她没有最喜欢的玩具 So, no favorite toy.
嗯... Um...
哦 你想知道的话 这里有一个 Oh, you want to know what? Here's a favorite toy.
剪刀 Scissors.
瑞秋的爸爸先离开的时候... When Rachel's father first left...
她收集了他所有的书 she gathered up all his books,
把它们捆在一起 然后把它们都剪了 and she rounded 'em up and she cut them right up.
千万别跟她说是我告诉你的 Please, don't tell her I'm telling you,
她会杀了我 she would chop my head off.
但她就这么... But she just...
我当时想 "干得好 闺女" And I was, like, "Atta girl."
喀嚓 喀嚓 喀嚓 她当时很生气 Snip, snip, snip. She was very mad.
我们能不能休息一下 喝点小酒? Can we take a little break and have a little taste?
你们应该到了可以喝酒的年纪吧? You boys are old enough to have a little taste, right?
我们就休息一小会 喝点小酒吧? Can we take a teeny break, just have a little taste?
好的 好孩子 Oh, yeah, that's a good boy.
格雷戈 来一杯吗? Greg, will you join us?
哦 不用了 Oh, I'm okay.
来嘛 别扫我的兴嘛! Oh, come on, don't be a party pooper!
那好吧! Alright, alright!
那我们接着采访吧 Now we can get back to our interview.
所以 基本上就是这么拍 So, basically, this whole setup
就这样 懂吧... is so that, you know...
我能跟你说话 你也能跟我说话... I can talk to you, you can talk to me...
我能看见你 你也能看见我 and I can see you, and you can see me.
只不过对面不是真正的我 是个手机 Except it's not really me, it's a phone.
我知道这听起来有点怪 And I know that sounds kind of weird,
但其实不怪 but it's not.
反正就把它当成慰问卡 So, anyway, just treat it like a get-well card,
你们可以对着镜头 you can look into the lens.
然后... And, uh...
就是个小视频嘛... yeah, it's a video, so you know...
别把它想得太难 don't think about it too hard,
好好说就行 but just make it good.
准备好了就开始吧 Start whenever you're ready.
嗨 瑞秋 Hi, Rachel.
我跟你虽然不是太熟... I guess I don't really know you that well...
但是我对你有信心 你会康复的 but I believe in you. You can do it.
说得挺好的 That's real nice, yo.
你男朋友为你拍这个 It's so sweet that your boyfriend
真是太甜蜜了 is doing this for you.
他一定很爱你 He must really love you.
妹子 那不是她男友 Girl, that ain't her boyfriend.
哦 Oh.
我知道你是犹太人 但我还是想告诉你 I know you're Jewish, but I just wanted you to know
上帝自有安排 that God has a plan for you.
你看着真的挺酷的 You seem like a really cool person.
我知道我们没说过几句话 I know we don't really talk.
但你朋友很多 而且... But you've got a lot of friends. And, uh...
在学校的这些人里头 out of all the people in this school,
我并不讨厌你 I don't hate you.
我对你有信心 你会康复的 I believe in you and you can do it.
你会康复的 You can do it.
我对你有信心 I believe in you.
你会康复的 You can do it.
该死 Damn.
"下午2:48的牛郎"(仿"午夜牛郎")
# 每个人都在对我说话 # # Everybody's talking at me #
# 我却一个字也听不进去 # # I don't hear a word they're saying #
# 只有我的心思在回荡 # # Only the echoes of my mind #
所以再次地 So again,
如果这是一个浪漫又感人的故事... if this was a touching, romantic story...
显然我们会坠入爱河 we'd obviously fall in love
她会说些聪明又美妙的情话... and she'd say all the wise, beautiful things...
让我直到人生暮年才能琢磨明白 that I can only be learned in life's twilight or whatever.
之后她会在我的臂弯中死去 And then she'd die in my arms.
但再一次地 这些都未发生 But again, that's not what happened.
她只是变得更沉默 更不开心 She just got quieter. And unhappier.
那你还好吗? So, how are you?
说实话 For real.
说实话? For real?
我觉得你可能说对了 Feeling like you might have been right.
什么时候说对了? Right when?
十月的时候 Back in October,
你当时觉得我快死了 when you thought I was dying.
我想说 我很后悔那么想 Well, I mean, I regret thinking that.
不用后悔 Don't regret it.
什么声音? What is that noise?
一只懊悔的北极熊 It's Regretful Polar Bear.
在动物世界里 北极熊 Polar Bears have the purest expression
表达懊悔的方式最质朴 of regret in the animal kingdom.
你听听这声音里的悲伤哀怨多么挥之不去啊 Just listen to how haunting and plaintive they sound.
拜托别逗我笑 有点痛 Don't make me laugh. Please. It kinda hurts. 1172
好吧 All right.
令人恐惧的沉默 Kind of a monster silence in here.
嗯 Yeah.
沉默一会儿也不错 It's okay to just be silent for a while.
听着 Look,
我知道你们都在准备接受... I know you're really bracing for this sweet girl...
你们可能很喜欢的这个可爱女生死去 that you probably like a lot to die.
耐心听我讲 她没死 她身体变好了 Just please bear with me. She doesn't. She gets better.
我发誓 I promise.
那个冬天我所记得的... Pretty much all I remember from that winter...
几乎都是制作那部蠢片子... is working on that stupid film...
想尽量拍点有意义的东西... Just trying to make something that made some kind of sense...
同时又一直清楚我做不到... and knowing the whole time that I couldn't...
拍出我们想要的东西应该是可行的... Maybe it's possible to make the thing we wanted to make...
只是我们办不到罢了 but it wasn't possible for us.
友情在劫难逃 第144天
友情在劫难逃 第145天
那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life. 友情在劫难逃 第145天
友情在劫难逃 第146天 那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life.
友情在劫难逃 第147天 那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life.
友情在劫难逃 第148天 那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life.
友情在劫难逃 第149天 那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life.
友情在劫难逃 第150天 那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life.
友情在劫难逃 第151天 那是我生命中的一整个冬天 That was an entire winter of my life.
友情在劫难逃 第151天
友情在劫难逃 第152天
友情在劫难逃 第153天
友情在劫难逃 第154天
友情在劫难逃 第155天
友情在劫难逃 第156天
友情在劫难逃 第157天
友情在劫难逃 第158天
友情在劫难逃 第159天
我是说 当然 I mean, obviously,
我也记得去瑞秋家的事 I remember visiting Rachel too.
有的时候她会说说话 Sometimes she talked,
有的时候又不想说 and sometimes, she didn't want to.
她不想说的时候 就我来说 When she didn't want to, I talked.
或者我们一起看电影 Or we watched movies.
有的时候她会开怀大笑 Sometimes, she laughed.
有的时候又不笑 Sometimes, she didn't.
我唯一没有印象的 是做课堂作业 What I don't remember is doing schoolwork.
这段时间我一点作业都没做 I did literally zero schoolwork during this time.
不是夸张 Not figuratively.
真的一点作业都没做 Literally zero schoolwork.
其实要做到还挺难的 That's actually sort of hard to do.
学校里现在怎么样了? So, what's going on at school?
现在整个学校像一座城堡... Well, right now, the whole school looks like a castle...
因为每个人都在为中世纪舞会做准备 'cause everyone's getting ready for Medieval Prom.
我猜大家都想搞清楚 例如说... I guess everyone's trying to figure out how to, like...
中世纪的电臀舞怎么跳? twerk medievally?
你要参加吗? Are you going?
当然不参加 No, of course not.
你应该参加的 You should go.
没门! No way!
你见过我穿晚礼服吗? Have you seen me in a tux?
就像让小狗穿人的衣服似的 It's like when they make a dog wear human clothes.
你见过吗? Have you seen that?
那样只会让你看着惨兮兮的 It just makes you really sad to look at.
而且没人跟我一起去 Oh, and I don't have anyone to go with.
所以咯 So there's that.
除非... Unless...
你愿意去... you know... you wanted to...
格雷戈 我不会去舞会的 Greg, I'm not going to prom.
我是说 你完全可以去 I mean, you totally could.
就当是一个... 很棒的姿态 It could be like a, s... awesome statement.
嘿 嗯... Hey, uh...
你们的片子什么时候拍完? When are you guys finishing your movie?
你不会知道我们现在在拍电影吧 You don't know we're working on a movie right now.
别装了 You don't have to pretend.
厄尔跟我说 你们正在给我拍电影 Earl told me you guys were making a movie for me.
天啊 好吧... God, yeah...
看来他多半是说了 I guess he probably did.
我就问问 因为... I was just asking, because...
该死 厄尔! 啊 Goddamn it, Earl! Ugh.
那应该 那本该是个惊喜的! It was just, it was supposed to be a surprise!
你知道吗? 好像永远也 You know? It's just taking forever to
拍不出想要的感觉 而且... really want it to get it right, and...
我可能很快就要停止化疗了 I'm probably gonna stop treatment pretty soon.
什么? What?
化疗一点没让我见好 It just isn't doing me any good.
只是让我越来越糟 All it's doing is making me sicker.
但是... 如果你停止化疗 那... Yeah, but it... I mean, if you stop, then...
我们看看到时结果又如何吧 Well, we'll just see what happens.
我们知道结果会如何 对吧? Well, we know what's gonna happen, right?
我知道你可以带谁去舞会 I know who you can take to prom.
谁? Who?
这个性感的枕头 This sexy pillow here.
天啊 你能不能... Oh, my God, can you just...
哦 格雷戈 Ooh, Greg,
这个枕头名叫弗朗西丝科 this pillow's name is Francesca.
别开玩笑 我受不了 Don't joke, I can't deal with that.
她是一个浪荡的意大利女人 She's a filthy Italian woman.
拜托 打住! Please, stop!
别吼我 Don't yell at me.
就这样? 让大学去死吧 So, that's it? Just, to hell with college,
让长大去死吧? to hell with growing up?
格雷戈 别这样 Greg, don't.
瑞秋 你到底发什么神经? Rachel, what the hell is wrong with you?
这可是你的人生! This is your life!
对 这就是我的人生 Yeah, it is my life.
是我必须整日卧床 It's me who has to lie in bed all day,
头发剃光... with a shaved head...
日渐衰弱 日渐丑陋 getting weaker and uglier,
日渐悲哀 未来渺无希望 and more miserable, with no hope in sight.
是我要忍受这一切 I'm the one who has to suffer through this,
不是你 所以别冲我大喊大叫的 not you, so don't yell at me.
我道歉 但我不会坐视不管 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna sit here
眼看你死掉却无动于衷 and get comfortable watching you die.
好吗? 我办不到 我做不到 Okay? I'm not. I'm not gonna do that.
所以别这样要求我 So don't ask me to.
如果你不能接受 If you can't accept
我要如何过我自己的人生... that I'm going to do what I want to do with my life...
那你真是个差劲的朋友 then you're a terrible friend.
我差劲? I'm a terrible friend?
行 Okay.
我可不是那个放弃的人 You know, I'm not the one giving up.
我也没有因为自暴自弃 I'm not ruining my friend's life
而毁掉朋友的生活 by giving up on the whole world.
拜托 格雷戈 你应该欢天喜地啊 Oh, please, Greg, you should be overjoyed.
你现在可以回归自己那种 Now you can go back to your life
毫无存在感 与人疏离... of being invisible and detached...
又自我憎恨的生活了 and self-hating.
是啊 Yeah.
你也可以回归你等死的生活了 And you can go back to your life of being dead.
好 好极了 Nice. Really nice.
你妈妈会难过死的 This is gonna kill your mom.
你现在可以坦然接受了? Have you gotten comfortable with that?
想想你妈妈? That doesn't bother you anymore?
你不再烦恼了? Thinking about your mom?
出去 格雷戈 Get outta here, Greg.
你任务完成了 You've done your time.
你不用再陪着这个病怏怏的女孩了 You don't have to hang around with the sick girl anymore.
你怎么能这么说? How can you even say that to me?
你妈妈逼着你和我玩 Your mom forced you to hang out with me.
厄尔逼着你给我看你们的电影 Earl forced you to show me your movies.
麦迪森逼着你给我拍电影 Madison forced you to make a movie about me.
所以 有哪一件是你真心想做的? So, what part of this did you actually want to do?
就... 就这一次对我行行好吧 Just... just do something nice for me for once
出去吧 and just get out.
厄尔! Earl!
到此为止了! 你过分了! This is it! You've gone too far!
这么机密的事你也漏了出去 You've leaked the unleakable secret
就因为你什么也不在乎 because you hold nothing sacred.
因为你就是个蠢货! 'Cause you're a dickhead!
任何良好的工作伙伴关系都基于信任... The foundation of any good working partnership is trust...
我无论如何没法再信任你了 and I can no longer trust you in any way.
你什么事都藏不住 You'll leak anything to anyone.
简直像和朱利安·阿桑奇一起工作(维基解密的董事与发言人) It's like working with Julian Assange.
阿桑杰 阿丧吉 该死! Assangde. Ass-andge. Damn it!
我人生第一次打架篇
你想干嘛? The hell you want?
- 等厄尔 - 好吧 - Just waiting for Earl. - Awright.
怎么了 兄弟? 想进来吗? Whassup, boy? You gonna come in?
瑞秋告诉我 你跟她说了... So, Rachel told me that you told her about the, uh...
我们给她拍电影的事 about the film that we're making for her.
你跟朱利安·阿桑奇一个样 老兄 You're like Julian Assange, man.
你一直都是这样... It's like you always do this...
我不知道 因为你 好像 I don't know, 'cause you, like,
你想比我当个更称职的朋友还是怎样? wanna be a better friend than me or something?
在你这白痴把我卖了之后 I don't know if I can work with you again
我不知道还能不能跟你一起合作! after you sell me out like a dick!
好吧 给我小心点 Oh, okay. Watch out, yo.
嘿 闭上你的臭嘴 老兄! Hey, yo, shut your ass up, man!
别摆出一幅很在意别人想法的样子 Like you care so much about what other people think,
小子 你四处晃荡... boy, you go around here...
捧别人臭脚 装得很在乎朋友 kissin' everybody ass,pretend that you like your friend a lot
听着 别人才不在乎你呢 格雷戈! Look, nobody gives a shit about you, Greg!
懂了吧? 没人在乎! All right? Nobody give a shit!
揍他! Whoop his ass!
然后终于有个在乎你的女孩... And then the one girl who do actually care about you...
你倒跑到这来 you wanna come over here and
跟我叽歪抱怨电影的事? 哈? bitch and whine about some films, yo? Huh?
是因为终于有人在乎你了吗? Because somebody actually cares about you?
该死 我简直烦透你了 Like, damn, I'm so tired of you
你把这姑娘当成个负担 treating this girl like she a burden.
要知道 她的生命都要终结了! You know, her life is over after this!
而你倒跑过来 And you want to come over here
跟我叽歪些毫不相关的鸡毛蒜皮! bitchin' and whinin' about some irrelevant bullshit!
你离我这么近 我可以把你揍得屁滚尿流 小子! Like, yo, you so close to me knocking your shit loose right now, son!
你揍啊! Go for it!
- 你想让我揍你是吧? - 对 我不在乎! - You want me to hit you now? - Yeah, I don't care!
是啊 厄尔 你来啊! Yeah, Earl, I want you to!
对啦! 把这小子顶翻! That's right! Jack that little dude up there!
瞧见了吧 格雷戈? See, Greg?
算你走运 揍你的是他而不是我... You lucky that was him and not me out there...
要不然我非把你揍得上蹿下跳 'cause I'd have been whooping your ass up and down this street.
揍得满地找牙 你懂吗? It'd have been a ass-whoopin' fest around here, you dig?
那个20页的尼克松论文写得怎么样了? So what's the status on the 20-pager on Nixon?
我还要再延期一次 Uh, I need another extension.
那可能会有点难... That might prove difficult...
因为已经是... seeing how it's the...
这学期的末尾了 the end of the quarter and all.
我最近比较忙 Yeah, I've just been busy.
我听说了... You know, I heard...
瑞秋的事 about Rachel.
你还撑得住吧? How you holding up?
其实... You know...
不太行 not great.
我15岁的时候父亲去世了 格雷戈 You know, my dad died when I was 15, Greg.
我那会儿比你还小几岁 A couple years younger than you.
事实上 当我还是个小孩的时候... You know, the thing is that, when I was a kid...
我真的只记得 I really, I really can only remember
他在我眼里是个... thinking about him as this...
人高马大的混蛋 you know, big, kind of like asshole guy.
在为他守夜的时候 他的哥们 At his wake, these buddies of his
不断走过来... kept coming up to me...
跟我说些他的故事 and telling me these stories about him.
他们口中的那个人 And it was like they were talking about
完全是另一副样子 some complete other guy.
举个例子 To give you an example.
他知道所有70年代的 He knew every single European pop song
欧洲流行歌曲 from the 1970s.
每一首 Every single one.
他会背下这些歌 He'd memorize these songs,
这样就可以去... and he'd do that so he could go...
唱给酒吧里的德国姑娘们听 and sing them to German girls in bars.
他有些拿手歌曲 He had a go-to,
最拿手的是... his number one go-to song. It was a...
是一首荷兰歌 叫"叮啊咚" it was a Dutch song. It was called Ding-a-Dong.
我爸常唱给酒吧里的德国姑娘们听 My dad used to sing that to German girls in bars.
事实如此 That's a fact.
所以你想说什么? So what does that mean?
格雷戈 我想说的是... Well, Greg, I think that it just means that...
就算某个人去世了 你也能... even after somebody dies, you can...
你也能继续了解他们 you can still keep learning about them.
了解他们的人生 You know, their life.
他们人生的画卷会继续向你展开 只要... It can keep unfolding itself to you just as long...
只要你用心去看 just as long as you pay attention to it.
你真的要把这变成 Are you seriously trying to turn this
一个愚蠢又煽情的说教吗? into some stupid sappy lesson?
你是个好孩子 格雷戈 You're a good kid, Greg.
不是的! 听着 我要回家了 No! Look, I'm going home.
我当着你的面逃课 怎么样? See, I'm cutting class right in front of you. 'Kay?
我不是个好孩子 我不是 I'm not a good kid. I'm not.
好吧 Okay.
厄尔刚刚过来留下了东西... Earl came by earlier to drop something off...
但是他拒绝了这个美味的 but he turned down this superb
法式昂杜耶兔肉香肠... Andouille rabbit sausage...
不像他的作风 which is quite unlike him.
你们还好吧? Is everything all right?
老弟? Buddy?
我退出
"嘿 瑞秋 "Hey, Rachel.
我们试了很多种方法 We tried a lot of different ways
为你拍电影... of making a film for you...
但要么太傻 要么太不着边际 but they were all too goofy or irrelevant...
或者干脆不合我们的感觉 or just not what we wanted.
所以我就直接跟你说吧 So, now I'm gonna talk to you directly.
嗯... Um...
我要说大实话 好吗? All right, I'm gonna be honest here. Okay?
有的时候 白人女孩特别傻 Sometimes, white girls are particularly stupid.
我是说 每个人都挺傻的 但是白人女孩... I mean, everybody's stupid, but white girls, you know...
她们觉得自己比其他人优越 They think they better than everybody
明明自我中心 还假装不是 and self-centered and pretend they not.
但是... But...
你和她们不一样 嗯... you aren't like that, you know. Um...
你居然可以这么耐心 It's just crazy how patient you've been.
如果是我得癌症的话 呃... You know, I know if it was me that had cancer, uh...
我会沮丧又愤怒 I'd be upset and angry
一大半的时间都想打人 and trying to beat everybody's ass half the time.
所以你的耐心真把我惊呆了 So I'm just, I'm just amazed at how patient you've been.
你让我感觉自己是有福的" You, you make me feel blessed."
"'曲终梦回'一片是由 "Tales of Hoffmann is a film
麦克·鲍威尔和艾默里克·普瑞斯伯格联合出品 by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger.
我认为 看这部电影的观众 I think, ultimately, what one has to understand
最终必须要明白... watching this film...
这是电影制作史上的一朵奇葩" it's a very special piece of filmmaking."
你还是要在这吃饭吗? Are you eating lunch in here still?
除非你也要在这吃 Not if you are.
要是你在这吃 我就找别的地方 Well, I'm not eating lunch in here if you are.
那就好 反正我喜欢在这吃 Good, 'cause I like it in here.
那看来该走的是我 So I guess I could just go.
要不还是你走吧 Or you could go.
才不 我喜欢这的空调 No, I like the air-conditioner.
还有舒适的椅子 And I like the comfortable chair.
没错 我也喜欢 Yeah, I like those too.
那是你的问题 Sounds like your damn problem.
"它每周放映一部电影 "Which showed one film per week
一晚两场 周六有三场 twice a night, and three times on Saturday.
某种程度上 '曲终梦回'是 In a way, Tales of Hoffmann is
'鲍威尔-普雷斯伯格'组合出品的 the culmination of Powell-Pressburger's work
所有'作曲式电影'中的巅峰之作" with what they call the composed film."
2014年高中毕业舞会 "难忘佳骑"
申请状态更改
能聊聊那电影的事吗? Can I talk to you about the movie?
可以 电影还没拍好 Yeah, it's not done yet.
格雷戈 你们已经足足拍了 Greg, you guys have been working on it
有四个月了 for like four months.
没错 但是我们试了很多法子 Yeah, well, I don't know, we tried a bunch of stuff
可就是... 行不通 and it just... didn't really work.
达不到想要的效果 It's not that good.
格雷戈! Greg!
这可不是你自我否定的时候 Now is not the time for your "I'm Greg, I suck,"
别老想着 "我是格雷戈 烂人一个 啥也干不好" "nothing I do is any good" thing.
你肯定拍得很棒 I'm sure what you have is awesome
只要果断点拍完给瑞秋 and I think she would really benefit
她看了一定能受到鼓舞 if you just got it done and gave it to her.
麦迪森 她停止化疗了 Madison, she stopped treatment.
她放弃了 She gave up.
投降了 She quit.
那不是更有理由早点拍完 Well, I guess that's a really good reason
那该死的电影 to just finish the fucking movie.
早点给她看 And give it to her.
随你便吧 But whatever.
亲爱的? Honey?
怎么了? What?
瑞秋又回医院去了 Rachel's back in the hospital, honey.
等等 她又开始化疗了吗? Wait, is she starting treatment again?
亲爱的 她不是去化疗的 It's not for treatment, honey.
妈 你想说什么? Mom, what?
我想我们应该去... Well, I thought we could go and...
你把这当成最后一次能逼我陪她玩的机会 是吗? You thought it's your last chance to force me to hang out with her?
格雷戈 别这样 Greg, come on.
别担心 妈妈 瑞秋走了以后 Don't worry, Mom, I'm sure you can find
你肯定还能找到另一个身患绝症的女孩 another girl with cancer after Rachel dies,
另外瑞秋她... which, by the way...
是自己决定不化疗的 she's decided to do.
是自己决定等死的 She's just decided to die
那我自己也可以决定不去看她 so maybe I can decide not to visit her.
如果你不去探望她 I promise you, you will regret that
你铁定会后悔的 if you don't visit her.
会后悔终生 You'll regret it for the rest of your life.
你知道吗 妈妈? 也许你说得对 Yeah, you know what mom? That's probably true.
但说真的 我该后悔的糟心事 But honestly, I have a shitload of things
已经够多了 to regret right now.
我后悔明天那该死的舞会没有舞伴 I regret not having a date for tomorrow's stupid prom.
后悔太怪里怪气交不到朋友 I regret being too weird to make friends.
还特别后悔跟厄尔拍了那些 I definitely regret making
乱七八糟的电影 all those shitty films with Earl.
我估计你已经看了匹兹堡大学的邮件吧? And I assume you saw the email I got today, from Pitt?
没有? 你居然没看到 Oh, no? You didn't see it
你不是老乱翻我东西吗? 给你 while you're going though all my shit? Here.
看吧 Have a look.
我真是后悔 I'm definitely gonna regret
这一整年什么作业都没做! doing literally no school work this year!
天哪 格雷戈 Oh, my God, Greg.
我知道 取消录取 I know. Admission rescinded,
因为学习成绩一落千丈 due to significant change in my academic record.
这下可好 明年上不了大学了 Oh, well, no college next year.
那就呆在家好了 这下你可惨了 I guess I'll just be home, which sucks for you
因为你再想乱翻我的东西 because it's gonna be so hard for you
可就难了 to go through all my stuff.
你现在能不能做点好事 妈妈? Can you just do me a favor right now, Mom?
让我一个人静静 好吗? Just leave me alone. Okay?
就让我待在这里后悔吧 Just let me sit here and regret stuff.
我要好好回想 I'm just gonna think about
我做过的一切 all the things that I've ever done
我没去做的一切 and all the things I haven't done
然后好好后悔一场 好吗? and just regret the living shit out of it. Okay?
所有申请都截止了 维克托 All the deadlines have passed, Victor.
那他明年该怎么办? What's he gonna do next year?
白白浪费一年吗? He's just gonna waste the year?
他正伤心呢 亲爱的 He is grieving, honey.
给他一点时间吧 You have to let him grieve.
但我不能坐视不理 But I can't just sit by
眼看着他毁掉自己的人生 and just let him ruin his life.
又不是错过大学申请 The universe does not operate
世界就不运转了! according to a college deadline!
2014年高中毕业舞会 "难忘佳骑" 就在今晚!!
能问你点事吗? Can I ask you something?
不能 Nope.
不是你想的那件事 No. It's not what you think.
我就想说 今晚就是舞会了... It's just that prom is tonight and...
我倒想问问你 这算什么? Let me ask you something. What is this?
干嘛摸我的手臂? What is up with the arm touching?
是仅仅表示友好 Are you just being friendly,
还是故意使出点小花招 or is this some calculated maneuver
好让我任你使唤? to get me to do whatever you want?
因为你要明白 Cause you have to understand
一个漂亮性感还很体贴的女生 what it does when a beautiful, sexy
把手放在一个苍白瘦弱 otherwise thoughtful girl
长着仓鼠脸的男生的手臂上 touches the arm of a scrawny, pasty
这意味着什么? groundhog-faced kid, OK?
这是一种残忍 It's an act of cruelty.
你说完了吗? Are you done?
当然 我说完了 Yeah. Yeah, I'm done.
我受够你了 I'm done with you.
受够这愚蠢的电影了 I'm done with this stupid film.
好吗? 我受够了 All right? I'm done.
哟! 不过我俩还没完呢! Yo! But you ain't done with me!
我回来复仇了 I'm back for my revenge
拿刀捅你的小鸡鸡 Stab you in the dick
原谅我说脏话 Pardon my French
真的吗? 你真的要捅我的鸡鸡? 来啊 Really? You're gonna stab me in the dick? Go ahead.
来捅我啊 Stab me in the dick.
只求你别饶舌了 好吗? Just no rapping. Okay? All right?
我紧握的拳头 I'll break your eyeball
打爆你的眼球 with a fist I got clenched
你瘦弱的身体 推入一条长椅 Shove your body under another bench
别饶舌了! Stop rapping!
用紧握的双拳 打你满地找牙 Knock your teeth out with the fist I got clenched
你一直唱来唱去 我下不了手 I can't do this if you're gonna rap the whole time.
都让开! Break it up!
厄尔! Earl!
都让开! 都让开! Break it up! Break it up!
我还以为你在麦卡锡的办公室 I thought you were eating lunch
吃午饭呢 in Mr. McCarthy's office.
是啊 可他一直在聊伤心事 Man, I was, but he all sad talking
德国音乐什么的 about German music and shit.
真是无聊透了 老兄 That's boring as hell, man.
看见你俩参与打架 我真是又震惊又失望 I'm surprised and disappointed to see you two fighting.
还有菲利普 我也没想到会看见 And, Phillip, I'm surprised and disappointed
你居然出现在校园里 to see you back on school grounds
你都被开除了! after being expelled!
好了 同学们 All right, man.
都离开这儿 Please leave the premises.
回到教室去 Back to class.
快去! Let's go!
麦克斯韦 赖安 索赖德 Maxwell, Ryan, Soledad,
别傻站着了 快走! stop gawking and start walking!
格雷戈! Greg!
哟 宝贝! 看到我怎么揍这个贱人了吗? Yo, babe! You see me pummel this bitch?
你要再不走 Come on and keep walking
我就再揍你一次 小子 before I can whoop that ass again, man.
麦迪森 什么事? Madison, what?
跟我一起参加舞会吧 Come to prom with me.
我知道拍电影的事 I know the whole movie situation
的确给你带来很多困难 was like really difficult for you.
我觉得这是我的错 and I kind of feel like it was my fault.
所以我想 So I just kind of wanted to
稍稍补偿你 make it up to you a little bit.
因为可怜才约我吗? Is this a pity date?
不是 No.
不是因为可怜 No, it's not a pity date.
格雷戈 就跟我一起去舞会嘛 Greg, just come to prom with me.
一定会是个开心的夜晚 I think we'd have a good time.
早就说过你能约到人吧 Told you you would get a date.
没错 Yep.
燕尾服什么的 不用跟我客气啦 So you're welcome. For the tux and everything.
谢谢 妈妈 Thanks, Mom.
我很不开心大学录取被取消的事 I'm very upset about this college thing.
但是我跟你爸爸可以等 But your father and I can wait
等到你愿意跟我们谈这事 till you're ready to talk about it.
谢谢 I appreciate that.
别忘了你的花环 Don't forget your corsage.
好的 All right.
我家的帅小伙 My handsome boy
要去舞会啦 going to prom.
要多拍点照片 知道吗? Take lots of pictures, okay?
去霍尔基特街302号 302 Halket Street.
什么? What's that?
我说去霍尔基特街302号 I said 302 Halket Street.
啊? Huh?
霍尔基特街302号 302 Halket Street.
霍尔基特? 好的 Halket? Okay. Okay.
没问题 宝贝 You got it, baby.
你爱这女孩吗? So you love this girl?
不 还没到那地步 Uh, no. I wouldn't go that far.
什么? What?
不 我... 不爱她 No. I... No.
那你们会在我全新的意大利皮座椅上 Yeah, so you guys are gonna be getting busy
搞点小动作吗? on my brand new Tuscan leather?
不 我觉得 No. I think
我们不会的 应该不会 No, we're not. I don't think so.
跟你开玩笑啦 Nah, I'm just playing with you.
但真心希望你能有这机会 But I do hope you get some.
这得看她的意思 It's really gonna depend on what she wants to do.
不过 如果你真的爱她 If you really love her, though,
你一定会有机会的 you definitely got a shot.
因为她会明白你的心意 Because she'll know.
她人不错吧? She is fine though?
啊? Huh?
匹兹堡大学医学中心附属儿童医院
友情在劫难逃 第209日
我知道我看上去帅呆了 I know, I look amazing.
可以给你戴上花吗? Can I put some flowers on you?
真不错 Like that.
好了 Okay.
在看这片子之前 Before we watch this
我想先跟你道歉拖了这么久 I'm sorry it took so long to make.
不过那是因为 But the reason is
就是找不到办法拍得不那么烂 just couldn't figure out how to get it to not suck.
反正... 直到最后我们也没找着办法 But... we never really did figure it out.
它还是很烂 It still sucks.
它没有完全表达出我想对你说的话 It's not exactly what I wanted to say to you.
但... But...
不管啦 whatever.
让我们先看看吧 好吗? Let's just watch this first, okay?
要叫护士吗? Hey, should I get a nurse?
蒂尼斯! 蒂尼斯! Denise! Denise!
那是我与瑞秋的最后一面 That was the last time I saw Rachel.
此后不久她便陷入了昏迷 She went into a coma shortly after that,
并在约十个小时后去世 and died about 10 hours later.
我知道我曾说过她不会死 I know I told you she doesn't die.
对不起 And I'm sorry.
内心深处... Deep down...
不知怎地 我未曾想到她会死 somehow, I didn't think she would.
然而她确是死了 But she did.
其余篇章结束之后篇
亲爱的格雷戈 我听说了 Dear Greg, I heard what happened
你学校功课的事 with your class work.
还有匹兹堡大学的事 And with Pitt State.
所以 我给他们写了一封信 So, I wrote them a letter,
想说服他们重新录取你 trying to convince them to let you back in.
如果你想读的话 这里有一份副本 There's a copy in here, if you want to read it.
希望这能有用 因为那意味着 Hopefully, it works, because that would mean
我死后尚能发挥余热 I have powers from beyond the grave.
但也许你也该寄点东西过去 But you should probably send them something too.
再见 格雷戈 你是个难得的好朋友 Goodbye, Greg. You're a good friend.
但要是你不去读大学 Although if you don't go to college,
那你还是个傻瓜 you're also an idiot.
不过这一点你早就知道了 But you already knew that.
爱你 瑞秋 Love, Rachel.
另外 还想让你拿走几个我的枕头 P.S. I'd also like for you to take some of my pillows.
它们也会想要一个宠爱它们的家 They'll want a good home where they'll be loved.
不是你想的那种宠爱 Not in the way you're thinking,
那种有点恶心 that's disgusting.
尊敬的匹兹堡州立大学招生办: Dear Pittsburgh State Admissions:
我谨代表某人写来此信 I'm writing on behalf of someone
在我最难相处的日子里 who gave me half a year of his life
他牺牲了整整半年 at the time when I was at
陪伴我左右 my most difficult to be around.
他自视甚低 He has a very low opinion of himself,
因此我觉得我有义务 which is why I think it's necessary
让你们了解到 that you hear from someone
别人眼中真实的他: who sees him as he actually is:
一个极度温柔善良 乐于付出 a limitlessly kind, sweet, giving,
和坦率真诚的人 and genuine person.
不管他会如何否认 这就是真实的他 No matter how much he would deny it.
这一年他学习成绩一落千丈 The drop in his academic performance this year
是因为他花费许多时间陪伴我 is the consequence of all the time he spent with me
和想方设法做东西鼓励我 and the time he spent making things for me
这对他也非常艰难痛苦 and how hard that was for him.
你们可以向他求证 You can ask him about it
但也许他妄自菲薄的性格 but his sort of over-the-top humility
又会挡住真相的道路 will probably get in the way.
既没人能像他做如此多事来逗我开心 No one has done more to make me smile than he has.
也没人能让我如此开心 And no one ever could.
瑞秋的骨灰被撒在 Rachel's ashes were scattered 盖恩斯-杰克森电影存档
她家后面的公园里 in a park behind her house. 盖恩斯-杰克森电影存档
显然 她曾离家出走 Apparently, she ran away from home once 盖恩斯-杰克森电影存档
并想住在那公园里 and tried to live there. 盖恩斯-杰克森电影存档
这是她阿姨在葬礼上讲的故事 It was this story her aunt told at the funeral.
她想变成一只小松鼠 She was trying to become a squirrel.
还以为只要住在森林里 She thought she could turn into one
怀着极度的渴望 just by being in the forest
就能成功变成松鼠 and wanting it really bad.
我想也许这就是麦卡锡老师说的 I guess maybe that's what Mr. McCarthy meant
某人人生的画卷会继续展开 about someone's life continuing to unfold.
在瑞秋去世后还能继续了解她 It was weird to be learning something new
挺古怪的 about Rachel after she died.
但莫名的 也让我感到安心 But somehow, it was reassuring as well.
格雷戈·盖恩斯
匹兹堡州立大学招生办收
警告:
警告: 最后一个看过此片之人立即陷入昏迷并在此后死去
谨以此片献给我的父亲 医学博士JULIO C. GOMEZ REJON