[eerie high-pitched ringing]
[ringing stops]
[electronic music playing]
‎NETFLIX 呈献
‎如果有人告诉我
♪ If you'd have told me ♪
‎一年前
♪ A year ago ♪
♪ That I'd be locked inside of my home ♪
‎说我会被关在家里
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
‎我会告诉你
♪ I would have told you ♪
‎一年前
♪ A year ago ♪
♪ Interesting, now leave me alone ♪
‎酷喔，现在起别烦我
♪ Sorry that I look like a mess ♪
‎抱歉我看起来超邋遢
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
‎我约了剪头发，但被改期了
♪ I booked a haircut But it got rescheduled ♪
‎罗伯特最近有点忧郁
♪ Robert's been a little depressed ♪
♪ No! ♪
‎不！
‎所以我今天会试着
♪ And so today I'm gonna try just ♪
♪ Getting up, sitting down ♪
‎起床、坐下
‎继续做事
♪ Going back to work ♪
‎也许帮不上忙，但试试也无妨
♪ Might not help But still it couldn't hurt ♪
♪ I'm sitting down, writing jokes ♪
‎我正坐着写笑话
♪ Singing silly songs ♪
‎唱笨笨的歌
‎抱歉我离开了
♪ I'm sorry I was gone ♪
‎但是你们看，我创作了一些作品
♪ But look, I made you some content ♪
♪ Daddy made you your favorite Open wide ♪
‎老子我做出了你们最爱的作品 ‎享受吧
‎我的作品来了
♪ Here comes the content ♪
‎今天天气这么好
♪ It's a beautiful day ♪
♪ To stay inside ♪
‎正适合待在家里
[music ends]
[whimsical music playing]
Camera test.
‎测试摄影机
[sighs]
[music continues]
[inaudible]
[music continues]
[music fades]
♪ The world is changing ♪
‎这个世界正在改变
‎这个星球正在升温
♪ The planet's heating up ♪
‎现在到底是什么状况？
♪ What the fuck is going on? ♪
[playing recorded laughter]
‎重新洗牌
♪ Rearranging ♪
♪ It's like everything Happened all at once ♪
‎感觉一切突然之间就变了
♪ Um, what the fuck is going on? ♪
‎现在到底是什么状况？
[playing recorded laughter]
♪ The people rising in the streets ♪
‎人们在街上抗议
‎战争、干旱
♪ The war, the drought ♪
♪ The more I look ♪
‎我愈看
♪ The more I see nothing to joke about ♪
‎愈看不出有什么好笑的
♪ Is comedy over? ♪
‎喜剧完蛋了吗？
♪ Should I leave you alone? ♪
‎我不该再一直烦你们了吗？
♪ 'Cause really who's gonna go for ♪
‎因为都这种时候了
♪ Joking at a time like this? ♪
‎谁还有心情看喜剧
♪ Should I be joking At a time like this? ♪
‎我应该在这种时候开玩笑吗？
♪ I wanna help to leave this world ♪
‎我想尽一份心力，让这个世界
‎在我离世时变得更美好
♪ Better than I found it ♪
‎我怕喜剧帮不上什么忙
♪ And I fear that comedy won't help ♪
‎这种顾虑也不是纯然没道理
♪ And the fear is not unfounded ♪
♪ Should I stop trying to be funny? ♪
‎我不该继续搞笑了吗？
♪ Should I give away my money? ♪
‎我是否该把钱都捐出去？
♪ No! ♪ [gasps]
‎不！
♪ What do I do? ♪
‎我该怎么办？
[cries softly]
-[dramatic music plays] -[gasps]
[in ethereal voice] ♪ Healing the world with comedy ♪
‎用喜剧治愈这个世界
♪ The indescribable power of your comedy ♪
‎你的喜剧有着难以言喻的力量
‎这个世界需要方向
♪ The world needs direction ♪
♪ From a white guy like me ♪
‎由像我这样的白人来领导
-[in deep voice] ♪ Bingo ♪ -♪ Who is healing the world with comedy ♪
‎-答对了 ‎-我要用喜剧治愈这个世界
‎就是这样
That's it.
[inspirational music playing]
‎这个世界乌烟瘴气
The world is so fucked up.
Systematic oppression.
‎系统性压迫
Income inequality.
‎收入不均
‎跟其他问题
The other stuff.
[inhales deeply]
And there's only one thing that I can do about it,
‎我能做的只有一件事
while… while being paid, and being the center of attention.
‎不仅有钱拿，还能享受镁光灯
♪ Healing the world with comedy ♪
‎用喜剧治愈这个世界
‎用隐喻做出实质的改变
♪ Making a literal difference Metaphorically ♪
♪ A Jew walks into a bar ♪
‎有个犹太人走进一间酒吧
♪ And I've saved him a seat ♪
‎我帮他留了一个位子
‎那就是用喜剧治愈这个世界
♪ That's healing the world with comedy ♪
♪ I'm a special kind of white guy ♪
‎我是很特别的那种白人
♪ I self-reflected And I want to be an agent of change ♪
‎我会自我反省，我想推动改革
♪ So I am gonna use my privilege For the good ♪
‎所以我要利用我的特权做善事
♪ Very cool, way to go! ♪
‎超酷的，加油！
♪ American white guys ♪
‎美国白人男性
♪ We've had the floor For at least 400 years ♪
‎我们一直都主导着一切 ‎至少都四百年了
‎好吧，也许我该闭上嘴了
♪ So maybe I should just Shut the fuck up… ♪
[music stops]
‎我好无聊
I'm bored.
‎我不想那么做
♪ I don't wanna do that ♪
‎一定有别的办法
-♪ There's gotta be another way ♪ -♪ Yes ♪
‎-对 ‎-我既可以帮忙
♪ For me to help out Without standing on the sidelines ♪
‎也不用被边缘化
-♪ Never ♪ -♪ The wait is over ♪
‎绝对不可以，漫长的等待结束了
♪ I'm white And I'm here to save the day ♪
‎我是白人，我来拯救世界了
♪ Lord help me channel Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side ♪
‎主啊，赐予我珊卓布拉克 ‎在《攻其不备》中的那种力量吧
♪ Sandra Bullock! ♪
‎珊卓布拉克！
‎用喜剧治愈这个世界
♪ Healing the world with comedy ♪
‎用隐喻做出实质的改变
♪ Making a literal difference Metaphorically ♪
♪ And yes, most likely they'll pay me ♪
‎没错，他们很可能会付我钱
♪ But I'd do it for free ♪
‎但我不收钱
♪ I am healing the world with comedy ♪
‎我要用喜剧来治愈这个世界
♪ If you wake up in a house That's full of smoke ♪
‎若你在一间烟雾弥漫的屋子里醒来
♪ Don't panic ♪
‎别慌
‎打给我，我讲个笑话给你听
♪ Call me, and I'll tell you a joke ♪
‎如果你看到穿着白色斗篷的白人男性
♪ If you see white men Dressed in white cloaks ♪
♪ Don't panic ♪
‎别慌
♪ Call me, and I'll tell you a joke ♪
‎打给我，我讲个笑话给你听
♪ Oh shit ♪
‎糟了
♪ Should I be joking At a time like this? ♪
‎我应该在这种时候开玩笑吗？
♪ If you start to smell burning toast ♪
‎如果你开始闻到烤吐司的味道
♪ You're having a stroke Or overcooking your toast ♪
‎你不是中风，就是把吐司烤焦了
♪ If you wake up in a house That's full of smoke ♪
‎若你在一间烟雾弥漫的屋子里醒来
♪ Don't panic Call me, and I'll tell you a joke ♪
‎别慌，打给我，我讲个笑话给你听
♪ If you see white men Dressed in white cloaks ♪
‎如果你看到穿着白色斗篷的白人男性
♪ Don't panic Call me, and I'll tell you a joke ♪
‎别慌，打给我，我讲个笑话给你听
‎糟了
♪ Oh shit ♪
♪ Should I be joking At a time like this? ♪
‎我应该在这种时候开玩笑吗？
♪ Somebody help me out ♪
‎谁来帮帮我！
♪ 'Cause I don't know ♪
‎因为我不知道
♪ And I want to help to leave this world ♪
‎我想尽一份心力，让这个世界
♪ Better than I found it ♪
‎在我离世时变得更美好
‎我怕喜剧帮不上什么忙
♪ And I fear that comedy won't help ♪
♪ And the fear is not unfounded ♪
‎这种顾虑也不是纯然没道理
♪ Should I stop trying to be funny? ♪
‎我不该继续搞笑了吗？
♪ Should I give away my money? ♪
‎我是否该把钱都捐出去？
♪ No! ♪
‎不！
‎我知道我该怎么做
♪ I know what I gotta do ♪
‎用喜剧治愈这个世界
♪ Healing the world with comedy ♪
‎用隐喻做出实质的改变
♪ Making a literal difference Metaphorically ♪
♪ I swore I'd never be back ♪
‎我发誓我不会再回来
‎但现在我又东山再起了
♪ But now I'm back on my feet ♪
‎我要用喜剧治愈这个世界
♪ And I'm healing the world with comedy ♪
[birds chirping]
[clicks tongue]
‎大家好
Hi.
‎欢迎收看
Welcome to, uh, whatever this is.
‎无论这算是什么节目
Um, I've been working for the last couple months,
‎我过去这几个月
um, testing this camera, and testing lights, and writing,
‎一直在测试这台摄影机跟灯光 ‎还有写作
and I've decided to, uh, try to make a new special.
‎我决定
‎试着拍一部新特辑
For real.
‎认真的
Um, it's not gonna be a normal special
‎这不是普通的那种特辑
because there's no audience, and there's no crew.
‎因为这里没有观众，也没有工作人员
‎只有我和我的摄影机
It's just me and my camera,
‎还有你和你的荧幕
and you and your screen.
Uh, the way that… that our Lord intended.
‎一切都是主的安排
Um…
‎整部特辑都会在这个房间里拍摄
And the whole special will be… will be filmed in this, uh, room.
‎而不是有人来拍我
And instead of being filmed
in a single night, it will be filmed in
‎只花一个晚上的时间
‎拍摄时间
uh, however long it takes to finish.
‎就是等我拍完为止
[inhales deeply]
I hope you, uh, enjoy it.
‎希望你会喜欢
I… I hope this special can maybe do for you
‎希望这部特辑能让各位感受到
what it's done for me these last couple months,
‎过去这几个月，它对我带来的影响
which is, uh, to distract me from wanting
‎那就是
‎让我分心，我才不会
‎饮弹自尽
to put a bullet into my head with a gun.
[inhales deeply] So…
‎所以啦
‎就是这样，谢谢
Yeah, thank you.
And a warning.
‎先提醒一下各位
Um, I can already sort of tell that this special is going to be
‎我已经能感觉到这部特辑
‎会有点杂乱无章
a little all over the place,
‎所以不要期待 ‎这会有什么顺畅的过场…
so don't expect incredibly smooth transiti--
[electronic music playing]
[music continues]
‎帮我倒杯酒、帮我把事情都排开
♪ Pour me a drink and clear my schedule ♪
‎我今晚要跟我妈视讯
♪ I'mma FaceTime with my mom tonight ♪
[echoing] ♪ Tonight ♪
♪ These 40 minutes are essential ♪
‎这40分钟极其重要
‎我今晚要跟我妈视讯
♪ I'mma FaceTime with my mom tonight ♪
[echoing] ♪ Tonight ♪
‎我打、她接，她头发湿了
♪ I call, she answers And her hair is wet ♪
♪ Hair is wet ♪
♪ I say, "Did you just shower?"
‎我说你刚洗完澡吗？
♪ She says, "How'd you guess?" ♪
‎她说你怎么知道？
♪ I say, "Your hair is wet" She says, "Oh yeah" ♪
‎我说你的头发湿了，她说对啊
♪ I tell my boys I need some space, yeah ♪
‎我跟朋友说我需要一点空间
‎我今晚要跟我妈视讯
♪ I'mma FaceTime with my mom tonight ♪
♪ She'll hold her iPhone 5 No further than six inches from her face ♪
‎她会拿着她的iPhone ‎离她的脸只有12到15公分远
♪ Yeah, I'mma FaceTime With my mom tonight ♪
‎对，我今晚要跟我妈视讯
[echoing] ♪ Tonight ♪
♪ She says, "Oh, look who's here" ♪
‎她说你看这是谁
♪ Say hi to Dad ♪
‎跟你爸打声招呼吧
[inaudible]
♪ Hi to Dad ♪
♪ He says, "How ya doing, bud?"
‎他说儿子你好吗？
‎我说我还好
♪ I say, "I'm not so bad" ♪
‎这就是我们之间最深刻的对话
♪ And that's the deepest talk We've ever had ♪
♪ Watching as she looks for her glasses ♪
‎看着她找眼镜
♪ I'mma FaceTime with my mom tonight ♪
‎我今晚要跟我妈视讯
♪ She'll tell me all about ♪
‎她会告诉我
♪ The season six finale of The Blacklist ♪
‎《谍海黑名单》第六季的结局
‎我今晚要跟我妈视讯
♪ I'mma FaceTime with my mom tonight ♪
[echoing] ♪ Tonight ♪
‎我妈用大拇指遮住了她的镜头
♪ My mother's covering Her camera with her thumb ♪
♪ I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom ♪
‎我会浪费时间跟我妈视讯
♪ My mother's covering Her camera with her thumb ♪
‎我妈用大拇指遮住了她的镜头
‎我会浪费时间跟我妈视讯
♪ I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom ♪
♪ My mother's covering Her camera with her thumb ♪
‎我妈用大拇指遮住了她的镜头
‎我会浪费时间跟我妈视讯
♪ I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom ♪
♪ My mother's covering Her camera with her thumb ♪
‎我妈用大拇指遮住了她的镜头
‎我会浪费时间跟我妈视讯
♪ I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom ♪
[airplane engine roaring]
[sighs]
[playing upbeat music]
‎孩子们
Hey, kids.
Today, we're gonna learn about the world.
‎今天我们要来认识这个世界
♪ The world that's around us ♪
‎我们所处的这个世界
♪ Is pretty amazing ♪
‎非常神奇喔
♪ But how does it work? ♪
‎但世界是怎么运作的？
♪ It must be complicated ♪
‎一定很复杂
♪ The secret is the world can only work ♪
‎秘诀是世界只有在
♪ When everything works together ♪
‎万物通力合作时才能好好运作
♪ A bee drinks from a flower ♪
‎一只蜜蜂喝花蜜
♪ And leaves with its pollen ♪
‎留下花粉
♪ A squirrel in a tree Spreads the seeds that have fallen ♪
‎一只松鼠在树上散播落下的种子
♪ Everything works together ♪
‎万物通力合作
♪ The biggest elephant, the littlest fly ♪
‎最大的大象、最小的苍蝇
♪ The gophers underground The birds in the sky ♪
‎地底下的囊鼠、天空中的鸟
♪ And every single cricket Every fish in the sea ♪
‎还有每一只蟋蟀跟海里的每一条鱼
♪ Gives what they can And gets what they need ♪
‎它们尽其所能付出，再得到它们所需
♪ That is how the world works ♪
‎世界就是这样运作的
♪ That is how the world works ♪
‎世界就是这样运作的
♪ From A to Zebra To the worms in the dirt ♪
‎从各种动物到泥巴里的虫子
♪ That's how ♪
‎世界就是
♪ It works ♪
‎这样运作的
Hey, everyone. Look who stopped by to say hello.
‎大家好，看看谁来打声招呼了
It's Socko.
‎是袜袜
‎大家好！
Hey!
Where you been, Socko? [chuckles]
‎你跑哪去了，袜袜？
‎在你没把我套在手上时，我一直都在
I've been where I always am when you're not wearing me on your hand.
In a frightening, liminal space between states of being.
‎我在一个生存状态不明 ‎又可怕的过度空间里
Not quite dead, not quite alive.
‎我没死，但也不算活着
It's similar to a constant state of sleep paralysis.
‎有点像持续性的鬼压床
Socko, we were just talking about the world and how it works.
‎袜袜，我们正在讨论 ‎这个世界是怎么运作的
Boy, that sounds complicated.
‎天啊，听起来好复杂
Do you have anything you'd want to teach us about the world?
‎关于这个世界 ‎你有什么想教我们的吗？
‎我不可能说出你还没说过的话
I wouldn't say anything that you probably haven't already said yourself.
I don't know about that, Socko.
‎这倒不一定喔，袜袜
How about you give it a try?
‎不如你试试看吧
All right.
‎好吧
♪ The simple narrative taught In every history class ♪
‎每堂历史课中的
‎那种简单叙事
♪ Is demonstrably false And pedagogically classist ♪
‎很明显都是错的
‎那是一种教育学里的阶级歧视
♪ Don't you know The world is built with blood ♪
‎难道你不知道这个世界是建立在鲜血
♪ And genocide and exploitation ♪
‎种族灭绝和剥削上的吗？
‎全球资本网络主要的功能
♪ The global network of capital Essentially functions ♪
♪ To separate the worker From the means of production ♪
‎就是把工人和生产工具分开
♪ And the FBI killed Martin Luther King ♪
‎联邦调查局杀了马丁路德金恩
♪ Private property's inherently theft ♪
‎私人财产本质上就是偷窃
♪ And neoliberal fascists Are destroying the left ♪
‎新自由主义法西斯正在摧毁左派
♪ And every politician ♪
‎还有每个政客
♪ Every cop on the street ♪
‎跟街上的每个警察
♪ Protects the interests Of the pedophilic corporate elite ♪
‎都在维护有恋童癖的企业精英的利益
♪ That is how the world works… ♪
‎世界就是这样运作的
‎真的吗？
Really?
♪ That is how the world works ♪
‎-世界就是这样运作的 ‎-世界就是这样运作的
♪ Genocide The Natives say you got to it first ♪
‎种族灭绝 ‎美国原住民说是你们先到的
♪ That's how ♪
‎-世界就是 ‎-世界就是
♪ It works ♪
‎这样运作的
That's pretty intense. [laughs]
‎好沉重喔
‎对吧
No shit.
What can I do to help?
‎我能帮上什么忙？
Read a book or something. I don't know.
‎读本书之类的，我怎么知道
Just don't burden me with the responsibility of educating you.
‎别把自主学习的责任推到我身上来
‎那真的超累人的
It's incredibly exhausting.
I'm sorry, Socko.
‎对不起，袜袜
I was just trying to become a better person.
‎我只是想成为一个更好的人
Why do you rich fucking white people
‎你们这些有钱的白人
insist on seeing every socio-political conflict
‎何必坚持要把每一种社会政治冲突
through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?
‎都当成自我实现的机会？
This isn't about you.
‎这跟你无关
‎所以除非你想去理解它 ‎不然就闪开，别挡路
So either get with it, or get out of the fucking way.
Watch your mouth, buddy. [chuckles] Remember who's on whose hand here.
‎小心点，兄弟 ‎记得现在是谁在谁手上
But that's what I-- Have you not been fucking listening?
‎我就是这个意思 ‎你他妈的到底有没有在听啊？
-We are entrenched in-- -All right.
‎-这种根深蒂固的… ‎-好了
Wait! No, please! I don't want to go back. [whimpers]
‎等等！拜托不要！我不想回去
[choking]
I can't go… I can't go back.
‎我不能回去
Please. Please.
‎拜托…
‎对不起
I'm sorry.
‎那你会乖乖听话吗？
Are you gonna behave yourself?
Yes.
‎我会的
Yes, what?
‎还有呢？
-Yes, sir. -Look at me.
‎-我会的，先生 ‎-看着我
[slowly] Yes, sir.
‎我会的，先生
That's better.
‎好多了
♪ That is how the world works ♪
‎世界就是这样运作的
♪ That is how the world works ♪
‎-世界就是这样运作的 ‎-世界就是这样运作的
♪ I hope you learned your lesson ♪
‎我希望你学到教训了
♪ I did and it hurt! ♪
‎我学到了，真的很恐怖
♪ That's how ♪
‎-世界就是 ‎-世界就是
[slowly] ♪ It works ♪
‎这样运作的
[screaming] No!
‎不！
[exhales]
Hello, my name is Bo Burnham.
‎大家好，我叫做柏本汉
And I am a former comedian,
‎我以前是喜剧演员
‎现在是品牌顾问
turned social brand consultant.
[inspirational music playing]
‎（内行人）
It's a very exciting time to be a, uh, brand.
‎现在成为一个品牌 ‎是件很值得期待的事
It's also a bit of a scary time because customers expect a lot more
‎也有一点吓人
‎因为相较于过去
‎现在顾客对品牌的要求变高了
from their brands than they did in the past.
‎目前在我们的文化中
During this incredibly necessary
and overdue social reckoning that we're having in our culture,
‎这个极为迫切且迟来的社会共识
it is no longer acceptable for brands to stay out of the conversation.
‎品牌绝不能再袖手旁观
Consumers want to know, "Are you willing to use your brand awareness
‎消费者想知道 ‎“你们愿意运用品牌知名度
to effect positive social change?"
‎来促进社会改革吗？”
Which will create more brand awareness.
‎这也能提升品牌知名度
The question I ask the brands I work with is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is…
‎我会问跟我合作的品牌 ‎以下这个问题…
"Are you gonna be on the right side of history?"
‎“你们会站在历史正确的那一方吗？”
‎问题不是：“你卖的是什么？”
The question isn't, "What are you selling?"
Or… or "What service are you providing?"
‎或：“你提供什么样的服务？”
The question is, "What do you stand for?"
‎问题是：“你代表了什么？”
Who are you, Bagel Bites?
‎你是谁，Bagel Bites？
All these big companies, they're so scared
‎所有的大公司都怕死了
of all this social change, and I come in and I put their fears to rest.
‎这些社会变迁
‎于是我出面，让他们不再恐惧
You know, I tell them, "Just be honest."
‎我告诉他们：“说实话就好
"Tell your customers that… that JPMorgan is against racism."
‎告诉你的顾客
‎摩根大通反对种族歧视”
In theory.
‎理论上而言
‎现在的问题不再是
The question is no longer,
"Do you want to buy Wheat Thins?" For example.
‎“你想买Wheat Thins吗？” ‎这类的问题
The question is now,
‎现在的问题是
"Will you support Wheat Thins in the fight against Lyme disease?"
‎“你愿不愿意支持Wheat Thins
‎打击莱姆病的决心？”
There's no sugarcoating it. The world is…
‎无须掩饰，这个世界
fucked up.
‎真的是乌烟瘴气
‎作为一个品牌，你是有选择的
And you've got a choice as a brand. You can…
hide and bury your head in the sand and hope it fixes itself,
‎你可以掩耳盗铃
‎期望这一切都会过去
‎或者你可以卷起袖子
or you can roll up your sleeves and get to work,
‎然后开始面对它
‎继续卖你的Butterfingers
and sell Butterfingers.
[piano playing]
♪ An open window ♪
‎一扇开着的窗
♪ A novel ♪
‎一本小说
♪ A couple holding hands ♪
‎一对牵着手的情侣
♪ An avocado ♪
‎一颗酪梨
♪ A poem ♪
‎一首诗
♪ Written in the sand ♪
‎写在沙滩上
‎地上的新雪
♪ Fresh fallen snow on the ground ♪
♪ A golden retriever in a flower crown ♪
‎带着花冠的黄金猎犬
‎这里是天堂吗？
♪ Is this heaven ♪
♪ Or is it just a white woman ♪
‎或这只是一个白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎-一个白人女性的IG ‎-IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性…
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ Latte foam art ♪
‎拿铁奶泡艺术
♪ Tiny pumpkins ♪
‎迷你南瓜
♪ Fuzzy, comfy socks ♪
‎毛茸茸又舒适的袜子
♪ Coffee table made out of driftwood ♪
‎用浮木制成的咖啡桌
♪ A bobblehead of Ruth Bader Ginsburg ♪
‎露丝贝德金斯堡的大头娃娃
♪ A needlepoint of a fox ♪
‎狐狸的半针绣
♪ Some random quote From Lord of the Rings ♪
‎随意引用一些《魔戒》里的句子
♪ Incorrectly attributed To Martin Luther King ♪
‎再把作者说成是马丁路德金恩
♪ Is this heaven ♪
‎这里是天堂吗？
♪ Or am I looking at a white woman ♪
‎或是我正在看一个白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎-一个白人女性的IG ‎-IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ Her favorite photo of her mom ♪
‎她最喜欢她妈的一张照片
♪ The caption says ♪
‎说明文字如下
‎真不敢相信
♪ I can't believe it ♪
♪ It's been a decade Since you've been gone ♪
‎你已经离开十年了
♪ Momma, I miss you ♪
‎妈，我好想你
♪ I miss sitting with you In the front yard ♪
‎我想念那些跟你坐在前院的时光
♪ Still figuring out How to keep living without you ♪
‎没有你，我还在设法一个人活下去
♪ It's got a little better But it's still hard ♪
‎我好多了，但这还是很不容易
♪ Momma, I got a job I love And my own apartment ♪
‎妈，我有份工作 ‎我住在自己的公寓里
♪ Momma, I got a boyfriend And I'm crazy about him ♪
‎妈，我有个男朋友，我很喜欢他
♪ Your little girl didn't do too bad ♪
‎你的女儿过得还不错
♪ Momma, I love you Give a hug and kiss to Dad ♪
‎妈，我爱你 ‎帮我抱爸爸一下，也亲他一下
‎一份山羊起司沙拉
♪ A goat-cheese salad ♪
♪ A backlit hammock ♪
‎一张逆光的吊床
♪ A simple glass of wine ♪
‎一杯简简单单的红酒
♪ Incredibly derivative Political street art ♪
‎老套到不行的政治性街头艺术
♪ A dreamcatcher Bought from Urban Outfitters ♪
‎从Urban Outfitters买来的捕梦网
♪ A vintage neon sign ♪
‎古董霓虹招牌
♪ Three little words, a couple of doves ♪
‎三个小小的字、几只鸽子
♪ And a ring on her finger From the person that she loves ♪
‎还有她手指上来自爱人的戒指
♪ Is this heaven ♪
‎这里是天堂吗？
♪ Or is it just a white woman ♪
‎或这只是一个白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎-一个白人女性的IG ‎-IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
[playing on laptop] ♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
‎白人女性
♪ White woman ♪
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
♪ White woman ♪
‎白人女性
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
‎一个白人女性的IG
[birds calling]
[Bo] Here's a question for you guys. Um…
‎我有个问题问大家
Is it… is it necessary?
‎真的有这个必要吗？
Is it necessary that every single person on this planet
‎这个星球上的每一个人
‎真的有必要
um, expresses every single opinion that they have
‎同时去表达他们
on every single thing that occurs
‎对每一件发生的事的
all at the same time?
‎每一个意见吗？
Is that… is that necessary?
‎这真的有必要吗？
Um…
Or to ask in a slightly different way,
‎或是我用稍微不同的方式问
um, can… can anyone
‎有没有任何人
shut the fuck up?
‎能闭上嘴？
Can… can anyone,
‎有没有
any… any…
‎任何人
any one, any single one,
‎任何一个人
can any one…
‎能够
[inhales deeply]
…shut the fuck up about anything--
‎闭上嘴，什么话都别说
About any… any single thing?
‎对任何事都别发表意见？
Can any single person
‎有没有任何一个人
shut the fuck up about any single thing
‎能够闭上嘴，不谈论任何一件事
for an hour?
‎一小时就好？
You know, is that… is that possible?
‎这有可能吗？
[clicks tongue]
[gasps] And I know you're thinking,
‎我知道你正在想
"You're not shutting the fuck up right now,"
‎“你自己现在还不是一直在讲”
‎没错，但是…
and that's true, but…
♪ Who needs a coffee 'Cause I'm doing a run ♪
‎谁想喝咖啡，因为我要出去买
♪ I'm writing down the orders now For everyone ♪
‎我现在会把大家点的都写下来
♪ The coffee is free, just like me ♪
‎咖啡不用钱，跟我一样
♪ I'm an unpaid intern ♪
‎我是个不支薪的实习生
♪ Sorting papers, running around ♪
‎整理文件、到处跑来跑去
♪ Sitting in the meeting I'm not making a sound ♪
‎参加会议，我不出声
♪ Barely people, somehow legal ♪
‎勉强算是个人，勉强算是合法
♪ Unpaid intern ♪
‎不支薪的实习生
♪ You work all day, go back to your dorm ♪
‎整天工作，下班回宿舍
♪ And since you can't afford a mortgage You just torrent a porn ♪
‎既然负担不起房贷，只好下载A片
♪ 'Cause you're an intern ♪
‎因为你是个实习生
[in deep voice] ♪ Unpaid ♪
‎不支薪的那种
[scatting]
Hey, everybody.
‎大家好
Um, I thought I'd do a reaction video to the song that you just saw me perform.
‎我想就我刚表演的歌曲 ‎拍一段反应影片
‎应该会蛮好玩的
Thought that might be fun.
Um, so I got my laptop all set up. So I'm ready to go, and let's go.
‎所以我准备好笔电了
‎我准备好了，开始吧
♪ Who needs a coffee 'Cause I'm doing a run… ♪
‎谁想喝咖啡，因为我要出去买
[chuckles] I like this song.
‎-我现在会把大家点的都写下来 ‎-我喜欢这首歌
Um, so the idea with this song was basically that there's so many songs
‎所以这首歌的概念是过去有那么多
in the past about… about working-class jobs,
‎关于工人阶级的歌
but not a lot about the labor exploitation of the modern world,
‎但现今世界 ‎关于剥削劳工的歌却屈指可数
so that was the idea here.
‎所以这就是这首歌的概念
♪ Barely people, somehow legal… ♪
‎勉强算是个人，勉强算是合法
My beard is a little shorter in this video 'cause I filmed it a couple weeks ago.
‎拍摄时我的胡子比较短 ‎这是我几周前拍的
♪ Go back to your dorm ♪
‎…工作，下班回宿舍
♪ And since you can't afford a mortgage You just… ♪
‎既然负担不起房贷，只好…
I think it holds up. The song, not the beard. [laughs]
‎我觉得挺不错的，这首歌，不是胡子
[in deep voice] ♪ Unpaid ♪
‎不支薪
[scatting]
And then you cut. I think it's funny to cut right on--
‎接着就切掉，我觉得这样很有趣…
…do a reaction video to the song that you just saw me perform.
‎就我刚表演的歌曲 ‎拍一段反应影片
-Thought that might be fun. -What…
‎-应该会蛮好玩的 ‎-这是…
Um, so I got my…
‎所以我准备好…
Because this video played after that.
‎因为后面就是这部影片
Right. So, and now… Right.
‎对，所以现在，没错
Okay, so I'll just keep reacting.
‎好，那我就继续拍反应影片
So, this is me reacting to the song.
‎所以这是我对这首歌的反应
‎所以这首歌的概念是…
Um…
What I'm doing is I'm explaining what the song means.
‎我正在解释这首歌的意义
Um, and what it's about. I'm being a little pretentious.
‎跟这首歌的概念，我有一点自以为是
It's, uh… it's an instinct I have where I need everything that I write
‎这是我的一种本能 ‎我希望我创作出的任何事物
‎都有一些更深的意义之类的
to have some deeper meaning or something.
‎但这只不过是一首笨笨的歌
But it's a stupid song, and, uh, it doesn't really mean anything,
‎根本没有什么意义
and, uh, it's… it's pretty unlikable that I… that I feel this need,
‎我的这种需求也很不讨喜
this desperate need, to be seen as intelligent.
‎我这么迫切地需要别人认为 ‎我是有料的
And the video's ending here, as you can see,
‎然后影片就在这里结束了
‎如你所见
and look, I'm very confused. See, I'm very, very confused.
‎你们看，我看起来超困惑的 ‎因为我正盯着自己看
'Cause I'm staring at myself, I don't know what I'm looking at,
‎我不懂为什么会那样
and I'm starting to catch up now, and realizing what's going on.
‎我现在才开始理解
‎开始明白这是怎么一回事
And, uh, yeah, now I'm deciding to react
‎没错，现在我决定继续拍
to the reaction to the video.
‎对这部反应影片的反应影片
So here, um, I'm reacting to my own reacting,
‎所以这里我是在对自己的反应 ‎做出反应
and I'm criticizing my initial reaction for… for being pretentious,
‎我正在批评自己一开始的反应 ‎我很自以为是
which is… which is honestly, it's a… it's a defense mechanism.
‎老实说这是一种防卫机制
I'm… I'm so worried that criticism will be levied against me
‎我怕别人会批评我
that I levy it against myself before anyone else can.
‎所以我就抢在所有人之前 ‎先批评我自己
And I think that, "Oh, if I'm self-aware about being a douchebag,
‎我想：“如果我发现自己就是个混蛋
‎那我就不会那么混蛋了 ‎但事与愿违”
it'll somehow make me less of a douchebag." But it… but it doesn't.
Um, self-awareness does not absolve anybody of anything.
‎自我觉察无法让任何人免除任何责任
Am I balding? This is really, really disturbing.
‎我快秃了吗？这真的很恼人
I don't like looking at myself like this, and I want… I want this to stop.
‎我不喜欢这样看着我自己 ‎我不想继续下去了
Okay, I want this to stop. I'm… I'm stopping this.
‎我不想继续了，我要停下来了
So, yeah, that was, uh, my reaction to the song,
‎所以这就是我对这首歌的反应
and I hope you enjoyed it.
‎希望你会喜欢
[electronic music playing]
‎执行长、企业家
♪ CEO, entrepreneur ♪
♪ Born in 1964 ♪
‎生于1964年
♪ Jeffrey ♪
‎杰佛瑞
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ CEO, entrepreneur ♪
‎执行长、企业家
♪ Born in 1964 ♪
‎生于1964年
♪ Jeffrey ♪
‎杰佛瑞
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it ♪
‎上啊，杰佛瑞，你可以的
♪ Pave the way, put your back into it ♪
‎替后人铺路、拚死努力
♪ Tell us why Show us how ♪
‎告诉我们原因、告诉我们方法
♪ Look at where you came from Look at you now ♪
‎看看你的出身，再看看你现在的地位
‎祖克柏、盖兹和巴菲特
♪ Zuckerberg and Gates and Buffet ♪
♪ Amateurs can fucking suck it ♪
‎业余的都他妈的认输吧
♪ Fuck their wives, drink their blood ♪
‎上他们的老婆、喝他们的血
♪ Come on, Jeff, get 'em! ♪
‎上啊，杰佛瑞，干掉他们
[playing electronic music]
[screams]
I don't know about you guys,
‎我不知道大家是怎么想的
‎但我最近一直在想
but, um, you know, I've been thinking recently that…
that you know, maybe, um, allowing
‎也许允许那些
giant digital media corporations to
‎大型数位媒体公司
exploit the neurochemical drama
‎为了营利而剥削孩子们
of our children for profit…
‎在神经化学层面的冲突
You know, maybe that was, uh…
‎也许那样
a bad call
‎我们不该
by us.
‎那么做
‎也许吧
Maybe…
maybe the… the flattening of the entire subjective human experience
‎也许扁化
‎整个主观的人生体验
into a… lifeless exchange of value
‎使其成为一种毫无生气的价值交换
that benefits nobody,
‎对任何人都没有好处
except for, um, you know,
‎除了那几个
a handful of bug-eyed salamanders in Silicon Valley…
‎在矽谷的虫眼火蝾螈以外
Maybe that as a… as a way of life forever…
‎也许
‎作为一种永恒的生活方式
maybe that's, um, not good.
‎也许那样
‎并不好
[birds calling]
[exhales]
‎我
I'm…
horny.
‎欲火中烧
‎性爱简讯
Sexting
♪ It isn't sex It's the next best thing ♪
‎这不是性爱，但也不赖
♪ Sexting ♪
‎性爱简讯
♪ Aye, aye ♪
♪ AT&T ♪
‎AT&T
♪ I am in bed ♪
‎我在床上
‎我准备好跟你一起云雨了
♪ I am ready to go with you ♪
♪ Tonight I'm thinking of taking it slow ♪
‎今晚我想慢慢来
♪ We'll use emojis only ♪
‎我们只用表情符号
♪ We don't need phonetical diction ♪
‎我们不需要语音学的语汇
♪ We'll talk dirty Like we're ancient Egyptians ♪
‎我们要说色色的话 ‎假装我们就是古埃及人
♪ You send me a peach ♪
‎你传一颗桃子给我
♪ I send a carrot back ♪
‎我回传一根红萝卜
♪ You send a Ferris wheel ♪
‎你传了一座摩天轮
‎这挺抽象的
♪ That's pretty abstract ♪
♪ I send back a ticket stub ♪
‎我回传一张票根
♪ Implying that The Ferris wheel's your body ♪
‎暗示摩天轮是你的身体
♪ And I'd really love admission to it ♪
‎而我真的很想一探究竟
♪ Oh no! ♪
‎糟了
♪ What if now you think That I'm implying ♪
‎万一你觉得我在暗示
♪ Your vagina Is as big as a Ferris wheel? ♪
‎你的阴道跟摩天轮一样巨大呢？
♪ Damn ♪
‎可恶
‎你回传一个雪人
♪ You send back a snowman ♪
♪ Crisis averted ♪
‎危机解除
-♪ Thank God ♪ -♪ Sexting ♪
‎-感谢老天 ‎-性爱简讯
♪ It isn't sex It's the next best thing ♪
‎这不是性爱，但也不赖
♪ Sexting ♪
‎性爱简讯
♪ Aye, aye ♪
♪ AT&T ♪
‎AT&T
♪ No more emojis, now it's on to words ♪
‎别再传表情符号了，我们打字吧
♪ I ask what you're wearing You reply, "A shirt" ♪
‎我问你穿什么，你回一件T恤
♪ You say, "Are you naked?" ♪
‎你问我是不是没穿衣服？
♪ I say, "Yeah, except for a top hat" ♪
‎我说对啊，除了一顶礼帽
♪ You say, ""lmao." But I doubt that
‎你回LMAO，但我不信
♪ I'm getting hot at just the thought Of what I'd do to you ♪
‎一想到我要对你做什么事 ‎我全身就热起来了
♪ 'Cause in my head I'm in your bed And getting through to you ♪
‎因为在我脑海里 ‎我就在你床上，正向你进攻
♪ They made the Internet For nights like these ♪
‎就是为了这种夜晚 ‎人们才发明网路的
♪ I love you, baby Send a picture of your tits, please ♪
‎我爱你，宝贝，请传一张奶照给我
-♪ Sexting ♪ -♪ Whoa ♪
‎性爱简讯
♪ It isn't sex It's the next best thing ♪
‎这不是性爱，但也不差
♪ Sexting ♪
‎性爱简讯
-♪ We are sexting ♪ -♪ Aye, aye ♪
‎我们在传性爱简讯
♪ AT&T ♪
‎AT&T
♪ You send the pic And say it's now my turn ♪
‎你传照片给我，接着说现在轮到我了
♪ Jesus fucking Christ I guess I never learn ♪
‎我的老天啊，我永远学不乖
♪ My phone's flash is my only light ♪
‎我手机的闪光灯是我唯一的光源
♪ And the flash Makes my dick look frightened ♪
‎而闪光灯让我的老二看起来很惊恐
♪ I chicken out And send a picture of my face instead ♪
‎我临阵脱逃，改传了我的脸过去
♪ Because my dick looks like The baby from Eraserhead ♪
‎因为我的老二看起来就像 ‎《橡皮头》里的婴儿
♪ You say, "I sent my titties That's not fair" ♪
‎你说你明明传了奶照来，这样不公平
♪ So I send it to you And then my phone dies ♪
‎于是我就传给你 ‎然后我的手机就没电了
‎又是个独自一人的夜晚
♪ Another night on my own, yeah ♪
♪ Stuck in my home, yeah ♪
‎困在自己家
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪
‎一个人坐着 ‎一手抓老二、一手抓手机
♪ Another night on my own, yeah ♪
‎又是个独自一人的夜晚
♪ Stuck in my home, yeah ♪
‎困在自己家
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪
‎一个人坐着 ‎一手抓老二、一手抓手机
♪ Another night on my own, yeah ♪
‎又是个独自一人的夜晚
♪ Stuck in my home, yeah ♪
‎困在自己家
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick ♪
‎一个人坐着 ‎一手抓老二、一手抓手机
-♪ And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪ -♪ Pussy ♪
‎-妹妹 ‎-又是个独自一人的夜晚
-♪ Another night on my own, yeah ♪ -♪ Titties ♪
‎奶子
-♪ Stuck in my home, yeah ♪ -♪ Balls ♪
‎-困在自己家 ‎-蛋蛋
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪
‎一个人坐着 ‎一手抓老二、一手抓手机
Hey, everybody.
‎大家好
Um, I just wanted to make a really quick video to say thank you.
‎我想拍一部短短的影片来感谢大家
-[happy music playing] -Thank you for watching my content.
‎谢谢你收看我的创作
As you guys know,
‎你们也知道
I work really hard to try to bring you guys
‎我很努力想带给各位
high-quality content that I think you'll enjoy.
‎你们喜欢的优质作品
So the fact that you are enjoying it, means everything to me.
‎所以你们的喜爱对我来说意义重大
So thank you, and also keep watching,
‎所以谢谢你们，要继续看下去喔
'cause there's a lot more content where that came from. [laughs]
‎因为我还有很多更棒的作品
All right, guys, see you later.
‎好啦，大家再见啦
[music fading]
[music ends]
♪ Trying to be funny and stuck in a room ♪
‎继续搞笑，然后被困在房间里
♪ There isn't much more to say about it ♪
‎没什么好说的
♪ Can one be funny when stuck in a room? ♪
‎困在房间里还能搞笑吗…
[clears throat] I took a big fucking breath.
‎我他妈的深呼吸了
[inhales deeply]
‎继续搞笑，然后被困在房间里
♪ Trying to be funny and stuck in a room ♪
‎没什么好说的
♪ There isn't much more to say about it ♪
♪ Can one be funny when stuck in a room? ♪
‎困在房间里还能搞笑吗？
‎明明在里面，却想办法生出作品
♪ Being in Trying to get something out of it ♪
‎试着做鬼脸
♪ Try making faces ♪
♪ Try telling jokes ♪
‎试着讲笑话
♪ Making little sounds ♪
‎发出一点声音
[making sounds]
‎我就像个被困在房间里的孩子
♪ I was a kid who was stuck in his room ♪
‎没什么好说的
♪ There isn't much more to say about it ♪
♪ When you're a kid And you're stuck in your room ♪
‎当你小时候被困在房间里时
‎你会想各种老招来逃脱
♪ You'll do any old shit To get out of it ♪
‎试着做鬼脸
♪ Try making faces ♪
♪ Try telling jokes ♪
‎试着讲笑话
♪ Making little sounds ♪
‎发出一点声音
‎哎呀
♪ Well, well ♪
♪ Look who's inside again ♪
‎谁又被困在里面啦
♪ Went out to look ♪
‎出去看看
♪ For a reason to hide again ♪
‎这样就有理由再躲起来
‎哎呀
♪ Well, well ♪
♪ Buddy, you found it ♪
‎兄弟，你找到了
‎现在高举双手走出来
♪ Now come out with your hands up ♪
♪ We've got you surrounded ♪
‎我们已经包围了你
One more.
‎再来一次
[electronic music playing]
[music continues]
[inaudible]
[synth-pop music playing]
‎我在一个普通的郊区长大
♪ I grew up as your usual suburbanite ♪
‎麻萨诸塞州的一个迷你小镇 ‎白人多到不行
♪ A tiny town in Massachusetts Overwhelmingly white ♪
♪ I went to church on Sundays In a suit and a tie ♪
‎我星期天会去教堂，穿西装打领带
♪ Then spent my free time Watching Family Guy ♪
‎但我有空就会看《盖酷家庭》
♪ I started doing comedy When I was just a sheltered kid ♪
‎在我只是朵温室里的花朵时 ‎我就开始表演喜剧
♪ I wrote offensive shit And I said it ♪
‎我写了一些冒犯别人的话 ‎再把它们说出来
♪ Father, please forgive me For I did not realize what I did ♪
‎神父，请原谅我
‎因为我不明白我都做了些什么
‎或是我会有后悔的一天
♪ Or that I'd live to regret it ♪
♪ Times are changing And I'm getting old ♪
‎时代在改变，我也变老了
♪ Are you gonna hold me accountable? ♪
‎你真的要我负责任吗？
♪ My bed is empty, and I'm getting cold ♪
‎我的床空荡荡的，我愈来愈冷
♪ Isn't anybody gonna Hold me accountable? ♪
‎真的没人要我负责任吗？
[moans]
‎我很有问题
♪ I'm problematic ♪
♪ He's a problem ♪
‎他就是有问题
‎我在17岁那年的万圣节
♪ When I was 17, on Halloween ♪
♪ I dressed up as Aladdin ♪
‎打扮成阿拉丁
♪ He's a problem ♪
‎他就是有问题
‎我没把皮肤涂黑
♪ I did not darken my skin ♪
♪ But still it feels weird in hindsight ♪
‎但事后感觉还是很怪
[music continues]
♪ I want to show you How I'm growing as a person, but first ♪
‎我想让你知道我是怎么长大的 ‎但首先
♪ I feel I must address the lyrics From the previous verse ♪
‎我觉得我必须呼应上一段的歌词
♪ I tried to hide behind my childhood And that's not okay ♪
‎我试着躲在我的童年后 ‎但这样做是不对的
‎我该为自己的行为负责 ‎我不会想办法替自己脱罪
♪ My actions are my own I won't explain them away ♪
♪ I've done a lot of self-reflecting Since I started singing this song ♪
‎自从我开始唱这首歌起 ‎我就一直在反省自己
‎我说那些话时完全是大错特错
♪ I was totally wrong when I said it ♪
♪ Father, please forgive me For I did not realize what I did ♪
‎神父，请原谅我 ‎因为我不明白我都做了些什么
♪ Or that I'd live to regret it ♪
‎或是我会有后悔的一天
‎时代在改变，我也变老了
♪ Times are changing And I'm getting old ♪
♪ Are you gonna hold me accountable? ♪
‎你真的要我负责任吗？
♪ My bed is empty, and I'm getting cold ♪
‎我的床空荡荡的，我愈来愈冷
♪ Isn't anybody gonna Hold me accountable? ♪
‎真的没人要我负责任吗？
[moan echoing]
‎我很有问题
♪ I'm problematic ♪
♪ He's a problem ♪
‎他就是个问题
♪ I just remembered that Aladdin costume's In my mother's attic ♪
‎我想起来了
‎那套阿拉丁的服装就在我妈的阁楼里
-♪ He's a problem ♪ -♪ I'm gonna go home and burn it… ♪
‎-他就是个问题 ‎-我要回家烧了它
Or not burn it. Is burning it bad? What should I do with it?
‎还是别烧了？烧了是不是不太好？ ‎我该怎么处理？
‎我一直都很不会处理
♪ And I've been totally awful ♪
♪ My closet is chock-full of stuff That is vaguely shitty ♪
‎我的衣橱里塞满了几乎是垃圾的东西
♪ All of it was perfectly lawful ♪
‎一切都完全合法
♪ Just not very thoughtful at all And just really shitty ♪
‎只是一点都不体贴，还非常像垃圾
♪ And I've been totally awful ♪
‎我一直都很不会处理
♪ My closet is chock-full of stuff That is vaguely shitty ♪
‎我的衣橱里塞满了几乎是垃圾的东西
♪ All of it was perfectly lawful ♪
‎一切都完全合法
♪ Just not very thoughtful at all And just really ♪
‎只是一点都不体贴，还非常像垃圾
♪ And I'm really fucking sorry ♪
‎我真的非常抱歉
♪ Bitch, I'm trying to listen Shit, I’ve been complacent ♪
‎贱人，我也想聆听
‎可恶，我太自满了
♪ Sorry ♪
‎抱歉
♪ If I'm gonna catch up First, I gotta fess up ♪
‎如果我想追上，就先得负起责任
♪ Sorry ♪
‎对不起
♪ Sorry ♪
‎抱歉
[projector whirring]
[light switches click]
[clicking]
[gasps] Sh--
[inhales deeply] So, um…
‎所以
I've been working on this special now for six months.
‎我拍这部特辑已经六个月了
And… the whole time I've had a… a goal in mind,
‎然后
‎我一直以来的目标
which is I wanted to finish this thing
‎就是我想在我30岁之前
‎拍完它
before I turned 30.
Um, because the idea of… of turning 30,
‎因为万一我30岁时
‎还困在这该死的房间里
while still in this fucking room,
‎独自拍着这部特辑
working on this thing alone,
um, that just seemed…
‎感觉就很
I just… I just wanted to avoid that.
‎我只想避免那种状况发生
So…
‎所以
‎你可能会想：“没关系，看看你
And you might be thinking, "Well, that's fine. You know, look at you."
"You radiate such youth."
‎你浑身都散发着青春的气息
"You must not be turning 30 for years."
‎你离满30岁应该还有好几年吧”
And that's very, uh, nice of you to say.
‎你人真好
‎但事实是
But the truth is
um, I turn 30
‎我再过
‎不到一分钟就30岁了
in less than a minute.
[inhales deeply]
‎所以我要坐在这里享受
So I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy
uh, my twenties,
‎我20几岁的年华
‎然后
and then get back to work.
‎回去做事
[sighs]
[electronic music playing]
Yay.
♪ I used to run for miles ♪
‎我以前可以跑好几公里
♪ I used to ride my bike ♪
‎我以前会骑着脚踏车
♪ I used to wake up with a smile ♪
‎我以前会笑着醒来
‎晚上怀抱着梦想入睡
♪ And go to bed at night with a dream ♪
[exhales] Ah.
‎但现在我快30岁了
♪ But now I'm turning 30 ♪
‎不！
♪ No! ♪
‎我以前是年轻的那个
♪ I used to be the young one ♪
‎我习惯了认识那些人
♪ Got used to meeting people ♪
♪ Who were used to meeting someone ♪
‎那些人习惯了认识一些
♪ Who was born in 1990 ♪
‎1990年出生的人
♪ No way! ♪
‎不会吧！
Yeah, I was born in 1990.
‎没错，我1990年出生
‎现在我快30岁了
♪ Now I'm turning 30 ♪
God… God damn it.
‎他妈的
-♪ I'm ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎-我 ‎-快30岁了…
-♪ Turning ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎-快 ‎-快30岁了…
-♪ Thirty ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎-30岁了 ‎-快30岁了…
‎-我快30岁了 ‎-快30岁了…
-♪ I'm turning 30 ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎他27岁时
♪ When he was 27 ♪
♪ My granddad fought in Vietnam ♪
‎我爷爷在越南打仗
♪ When I was 27 ♪
‎我27岁时
♪ I built a birdhouse with my mom ♪
‎我跟我妈盖了个鸟屋
Oh fuck.
‎该死
[sobs]
‎我怎么就30岁了？
♪ How am I 30? ♪
[groans]
‎我以前会取笑婴儿潮那一代
♪ I used to make fun of the boomers ♪
♪ In retrospect, a bit too much ♪
‎现在回想起来，我太过分了
♪ Now all these fucking zoomers ♪
‎现在这些他妈的千禧世代
♪ Are telling me that I'm out of touch ♪
‎告诉我，我跟不上时代了
Oh yeah? Well, your fucking phones are poisoning your minds. Okay?
‎是吗，你的手机 ‎正在毒害你的心灵，好吗？
So when you develop a dissociative mental disorder
‎所以等你25岁后罹患了 ‎多种人格障碍时
in your late twenties, don't come crawling back to me.
‎别哭着爬回来找我
‎-我 ‎-快30岁了…
-♪ I'm ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
-♪ Turning ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎-快 ‎-快30岁了…
-♪ Thirty ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎-30岁了 ‎-快30岁了…
-♪ I'm turning 30 ♪ -♪ Turning 30, turning 30 ♪
‎-我快30岁了 ‎-快30岁了…
♪ And now my stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎现在我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ My stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ My stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ My stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ And now my stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎现在我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ My stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ My stupid friends Are having stupid children ♪
‎我那些愚蠢朋友有了愚蠢的小孩
♪ Stupid, fucking ugly, boring children ♪
‎愚蠢、丑到爆、又无聊的小孩
♪ It's 2020, and I'm 30 ♪
‎现在是2020年，而我30岁了
♪ I'll do another ten ♪
‎我再活十年
♪ 2030 I'll be 40 and kill myself then ♪
‎2030年时，我就40岁了
‎到时我就自杀
[breathes deeply]
[breathing heavily]
-Okay. -[flashlight thuds]
‎好了
Check that one.
‎确认一下
-We'll do one more. -[switch clicks]
‎我们再来一次
‎我先声明
I just wanna say for the record, um, that I do not want to kill myself, okay?
‎我不想自杀，好吗？
I don't wanna kill myself, and I'm not going to kill myself.
‎我不想自杀，我也不会自杀
Um, and if you're out there and you're struggling with suicidal thoughts
‎如果你有想自杀的念头
and you want to kill yourself,
‎你也想自杀
I just want to tell you don't.
‎我只想说拜托你不要
Okay? Can you not, please?
‎好吗
‎？可以请你不要自杀吗？
Just don't. All right?
‎拜托不要啦
Fucking quit it with the--
‎别他妈的继续…
‎但说真的，不要自杀
But really, don't kill yourself. You don't want to, because…
‎你也不想自杀，因为…
‎你有那些爱你的人
There are people that love you…
That's not true necessarily,
‎这不一定是真的
but there could be people that love you in the future,
‎但未来可能会有人爱你
and just don't.
‎拜托不要
I've had people close to me kill themselves,
‎我身边曾有人寻死
‎我老实跟你说，我很讨厌那样
and I'll be honest with you, didn't love it.
‎我不喜欢那样
Didn't love that.
So just don't.
‎所以拜托不要
‎但如果我可以杀掉自己一年
But if I could kill myself for a year…
‎如果办得到…我今天马上就自杀
If I can-- I'd do it today.
If I could kill myself today and be dead
‎如果我今天自杀后
until like 18 months from now,
‎可以死个18个月
um, I would do it, but alas…
‎我愿意，但是
‎可惜啊
[inhales deeply]
…when you kill yourself, you're dead forever,
‎在你自杀后，你就永远死掉了
‎我们不该永远死掉，时候还没到
and we shouldn't be dead forever yet.
So let's not. Right?
‎所以我们就别自杀了，对吧？
Come on, guys.
‎拜托各位了
‎（中场休息）
[grunts]
[exhales]
[electronic music playing]
[clears throat]
[crickets chirping]
[Bo grunts]
[sniffles]
‎感觉怎么样？
♪ How are you feeling? ♪
‎你喜欢这个节目吗？
♪ Do you like the show? ♪
‎你受够了吗？
♪ Are you tired of it? ♪
‎算了，我不想知道
♪ Never mind, I don't wanna know ♪
♪ Are you finding it boring? ♪
‎觉得无聊了吗？
‎太快、太慢？
♪ Too fast, too slow? ♪
‎我是问了，但你别回答
♪ I'm asking but don't answer ♪
‎因为我不想知道
♪ 'Cause I don't wanna know ♪
♪ Do I have your attention? ♪
‎我吸引到你的注意力了吗？
♪ Yes or no? ♪
‎有还是没有？
‎我大概猜得到答案
♪ I bet I'd guess the answer ♪
♪ But I don't wanna know ♪
‎但我不想知道
♪ Am I on in the background? ♪
‎我变成背景音了吗？
‎你在玩手机吗？
♪ Are you on your phone? ♪
‎我也想问你在看什么
♪ I'd ask you what you're watching ♪
♪ But I don't wanna know ♪
‎但我不想知道
♪ Is there anyone out there? ♪
‎有人在看吗？
♪ Or am I all alone? ♪
‎还是只有我一个人？
♪ It wouldn't make a difference ♪
‎其实也没有什么差别
♪ Still I don't wanna know ♪
‎但我还是不想知道
♪ I thought it'd be over by now ♪
‎我以为就快结束了
♪ But I got a while to go ♪
‎但还有一段路要走
♪ I'd give away the ending ♪
‎我会告诉你结局
♪ But you don't wanna kn-- ♪
‎但你不想知…
What's up, boys. Welcome to the stream.
‎大家好，欢迎收看我的直播
Um, I'm gonna be doing some live play today
‎我今天要直接玩给各位看 ‎我好一阵子没直播了
for the first time in a while.
Uh, you guys have been wanting that, so we're gonna do--
‎大家一直在问，所以我们要…
This is the title, Inside.
‎这是标题《隔离》
I've got a lot of requests for this game in chat.
‎很多人希望我玩这款游戏
It's some indie developer. I'm not really sure.
‎这应该是独立开发者做的 ‎我不太确定
I'm going in totally cold on this.
‎我对这个游戏完全是一无所知
Um, JB, thank you for the three months. My dude, much appreciated.
‎JB，谢谢你赞助三个月 ‎我的兄弟，非常感谢
Um… Okay.
‎好喔
[drum beating slowly]
‎就电脑绘图而言很不错 ‎我看得出这是游戏影片
That looks pretty good, graphics-wise. I mean, I know it's a cinematic, but…
[inhales deeply]
So we're gonna be trying to do live plays every day this week,
‎所以我们这周每天都会直播
so tune in for that.
‎敬请期待
I would be gifting 30 subs at the end of the week.
‎我会在这周结束时 ‎送给30个会员小礼物
Um, day 50, 250… All right, so this dude's been in here for a while.
‎第253天，好 ‎这家伙已经在这里待上一阵子了
-So is this like an escape the room? -[dings]
‎所以这是逃脱游戏吗？
-Or… -[crying loudly]
‎还是说
Okay.
‎好
So I can cry.
‎这样我才能哭
‎所以他不想待在这个房间里
So he's… he's not happy about being in this room.
[gentle video game music playing]
I like the music. The music is actually nice on this.
‎我喜欢配乐，其实音乐做得很不错
[footsteps]
Controls are actually pretty smooth. So you're in this like 2D set up, right?
‎操控也很顺畅 ‎所以这是2D场景，对吧？
Like, I can't control the camera.
‎因为我无法控制摄影机
Um…
I'll give it-- I guess I'll cry again.
‎我再…那我再哭一下好了
-[crying] -He's--
‎这家伙…所以是他太高 ‎还是这房间太小？
So is the dude big, or is the room small?
That's what I'm confused about.
‎我真的搞不懂
‎查特要我试试看能不能开门 ‎好啊，毕竟
Chat's saying, try the door. Yeah, well, okay.
[laughing] I mean, I don't think it's gonna be that simple, but I will.
‎我觉得没这么简单，但没问题
[clicking]
Yeah, there ya go.
‎看吧
Um, okay, Well, I think he'll probably cry again.
‎好吧，我想他可能又要哭了
-[crying] -It's tough, dude.
‎真难熬啊，兄弟
-It's tough. He's been in here a while. -[dings]
‎真的很辛苦，他待在这里已经很久了
Um, see, I don't like that.
‎我不喜欢这样
I don't know why they feel the need to give the hint so quick.
‎我不懂他们为什么 ‎非得这么快就提示你
I just wish they'd let me… let me explore a little bit.
‎我只希望他们能让我自己探索一下
Wha… I'm holding the flashlight like a… like a cop.
‎我像警察一样拿着手电筒
-Why is he doing that? -[dings]
‎他为什么要这样？
[chuckles] Ah.
All right. Okay. So…
‎好吧，所以
-[dings] -[piano playing]
All right.
‎好喔
Okay, he seems a little happier now. That's nice.
‎好，他现在看起来开心一点了 ‎太好了
‎我不知道耶
I don't know.
I'll cry, I guess, again.
‎我再哭一次好了
[crying]
Okay, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be do--
‎我不太确定我要做什么…
Oh! Nice.
‎太好了
Okay, yeah.
‎好
[continues crying]
‎太好了
Yeah, great. Um…
[music fades]
‎好吧，我还蛮喜欢的…
All right, I'm into this.
‎没错，这有一点《死亡搁浅》的感觉
Yeah, it's giving me sort of like Death Stranding vibes,
you know, 'cause it's, like, it's fucking boring,
‎因为这超级无聊的
but that's, like, the point, I think.
‎但我想这就是重点
[suspenseful music playing]
Dante, thank you for the four months. Appreciate it.
‎但丁，谢谢你赞助四个月，谢谢
[solemn music playing]
[music continues]
-[upbeat music playing] -[Bo] How we feeling out there tonight?
‎今晚大家感觉怎么样？
[laughs]
Yeah.
I am not feeling good.
‎我不是很好
♪ Wake up at 11:30 ♪
‎11点30分醒来
-♪ Feeling like a bag of shit ♪ -♪ Oh no! ♪
‎-感觉自己就像一坨屎 ‎-糟了
‎我每件衣服都脏了
♪ All my clothes are dirty So I'm smelling like a bag of shit ♪
‎所以我闻起来就像一坨屎
‎想倒杯咖啡，却倒到杯子外
♪ Go to pour my coffee, and I miss my cup OMG, that is just my luck ♪
‎老天啊，我就是这么衰
♪ Look in the mirror Say, "What's up, you useless fuck?" ♪
‎对着镜子说
‎怎样？你这没用的废物
♪ Are you feeling what I'm feeling? ♪
‎大家都明白我的感受了吗？
♪ I haven't had a shower In the last nine days ♪
‎我已经九天没洗澡了
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Staring at the ceiling ♪
‎盯着天花板
♪ And waiting For this feeling to go away ♪
‎等着这种感觉自己消失
♪ But it won't go away ♪
‎但它没有消失
‎我其实不太想打起精神
♪ I'm not really feeling Like I wanna get lit ♪
‎-把你的感觉告诉我们 ‎-这个嘛，我觉得自己像坨屎
-♪ Tell us how you're feeling ♪ -♪ Well, I feel like shit ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
‎糟了
♪ Feeling like A saggy, massive sack of shit ♪
‎感觉自己就像一坨超大坨的屎
♪ Oh, shit ♪
‎糟了
♪ Big 'ol motherfucking Duffel bag of shit ♪
‎他妈的超级大坨的那种屎
♪ Oh, shit ♪
‎糟了
♪ All day, all shit ♪
‎一整天都像坨屎
♪ I'm not really feeling Like I wanna get lit ♪
‎我其实不太想打起精神
-♪ Tell us how you're feeling ♪ -♪ I'm feeling like shit ♪
‎-把你的感觉告诉我们 ‎-我觉得自己像坨屎
-♪ Ladies, do you feel like shit? ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
‎-女士们觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-对啊
-♪ Tell me, do you feel like shit? ♪ -♪ Oh yeah ♪
‎-告诉我，你觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-当然
-♪ Fellas, are you feeling like shit? ♪ -♪ Huh ♪
‎-兄弟们觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-什么
‎-告诉我，你觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-当然
-♪ Tell me, are you feeling like shit? ♪ -♪ Oh yeah ♪
-♪ Ladies, do you feel like shit? ♪ -♪ Yeah? ♪
‎-女士们觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-对啊
‎-告诉我，你觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-当然
-♪ Tell me, do you feel like shit? ♪ -♪ Oh yeah ♪
-♪ Fellas, are you feeling like shit? ♪ -♪ Huh? ♪
‎-兄弟们觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-什么
‎-告诉我，你觉得自己像坨屎吗？ ‎-当然
-♪ Tell me, are you feeling like shit? ♪ -♪ Oh yeah ♪
[birds chirping]
‎所以
[Bo] So, um, my…
‎我现在的心理健康状态…
uh, my current mental health is… is…
rapidly approaching, um, an ATL,
‎正迅速接近
‎ATL
which is, um, that's an "all-time low,"
‎也就是“历史最低点”
not… not Atlanta.
‎不是亚特兰大
[inhales deeply] And…
‎还有
You know, I feel okay when I'm asleep. Like when I'm asleep, I feel all right,
‎我睡着时感觉还好
‎我睡着时其实还可以
but it's basically from the moment I wake up,
‎但基本上从我醒来的那一刻起
‎我就有一种…
I, uh, I just get this--
♪ Feeling in my body ♪
‎体内有一种感觉
♪ Way down deep inside me ♪
‎深入我内心深处
-♪ I try not to fight it ♪ -♪ Describe it ♪
‎我尽力不抗拒
‎形容一下
♪ All right A few things start to happen ♪
‎好吧，开始出现了一些征兆
♪ My vision starts to flatten ♪
‎我的视力开始变扁
♪ My heart, it gets to tappin' ♪
‎我的心狂跳
♪ And I think I'm gonna die ♪
‎我应该快死掉了
Yeah, so, um…
‎对，所以
‎对，不是
Yeah. Not…
‎不是很好
Not doing great.
[inhales deeply]
[clears throat]
‎欢迎来到网路世界
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
‎四处看看吧
♪ Have a look around ♪
♪ Anything that brain of yours Can think of can be found ♪
‎你的脑袋能想到的任何东西 ‎都在这里了
‎我们的内容爆炸多
♪ We've got mountains of content ♪
♪ Some better, some worse ♪
‎有些比较好、有些比较差
♪ If none of it's of interest to you You'd be the first ♪
‎你绝对会找到感兴趣的内容
‎欢迎来到网路世界
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
‎过来坐下吧
♪ Come and take a seat ♪
♪ Would you like to see the news Or any famous women's feet? ♪
‎你想看新闻，还是名媛的脚？
♪ There's no need to panic This isn't a test ♪
‎不用慌
‎这不是在测试你
[laughs]
‎只要点头或摇头，剩下的交给我们
♪ Just nod or shake your head And we'll do the rest ♪
‎欢迎来到网路世界
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
‎你偏好什么？
♪ What would you prefer? ♪
‎还是你想争取民权 ‎或在推特上歧视别的种族？
♪ Would you like to fight For civil rights or tweet a racial slur? ♪
♪ Be happy, be horny Be bursting with rage ♪
‎开心点、欲火中烧、怒火中烧
♪ We got a million different ways To engage ♪
‎我们有数不清的方式让你参与其中
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
‎欢迎来到网路世界
♪ Put your cares aside ♪
‎不必再顾虑了
♪ Here's a tip for straining pasta Here's a nine-year-old who died ♪
‎这是把义大利面沥干的诀窍
‎这是一个死去的九岁孩童
♪ We got movies and doctors And fantasy sports ♪
‎我们有电影、医生跟《梦幻总教头》
‎还有许多《哈利波特》 ‎所有角色正在杂交的彩色铅笔画
♪ And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings Of all the characters in Harry Potter ♪
♪ Fucking each other Welcome to the Internet ♪
‎欢迎来到网路世界
♪ Hold on to your socks ♪
‎坐稳了
♪ 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you Photos of his cock ♪
‎因为一个路人很好心地 ‎把他的屌照传给你了
♪ They are grainy and off-putting He just sent you more ♪
‎上面一粒一粒的，超倒胃口
‎他又多传了几张
♪ Don't act surprised You know you like it, you whore ♪
‎别惊讶，你明明就很爱 ‎你这么淫荡
♪ See a man beheaded Get offended, see a shrink ♪
‎看一个被斩首的人 ‎觉得被冒犯、去看心理医生
♪ Show us pictures of your children Tell us every thought you think ♪
‎给我们看你孩子的照片 ‎把你所有的念头都告诉我们
♪ Start a rumor, buy a broom Or send a death threat to a boomer ♪
‎散布谣言、买把扫把 ‎威胁要杀了某个婴儿潮的人
♪ Or DM a girl and groom her Do a Zoom or find a tumor ♪
‎私讯一个女孩再帮她打扮 ‎开场视讯会议、找到一颗肿瘤
♪ And here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
‎这些是健康的早餐选择 ‎你应该杀了你妈
♪ Here's why women never fuck you Here's how you can build a bomb ♪
‎这就是女人永远不会跟你上床的原因 ‎这教你如何做出一颗炸弹
♪ Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz ♪
‎你是哪个金刚战士？ ‎玩这个古怪的测验
♪ Obama sent the immigrants To vaccinate your kids ♪
‎欧巴马让移民帮你小孩打疫苗
‎我能让你永远对某件事感兴趣吗？
♪ Could I interest you in everything All of the time? ♪
♪ A little bit of everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你一点点全世界
♪ Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime ♪
‎冷漠是悲剧、无聊是犯罪
♪ Anything and everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你全世界
♪ Could I interest you in everything All of the time? ♪
‎我能让你永远对某件事感兴趣吗？
♪ A little bit of everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你一点点全世界
♪ Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime ♪
‎冷漠是悲剧、无聊是犯罪
♪ Anything and everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你全世界
[playing gentle music]
‎你知道
You know,
‎以前不是这个样子的
it wasn't always like this.
‎不久以前
♪ Not very long ago ♪
♪ Just before your time ♪
‎就在你出生之前
‎就在那些塔倒塌之前
♪ Right before the towers fell ♪
‎大约1999年
♪ Circa '99 ♪
♪ This was catalogues ♪
‎网上有目录
‎旅游部落格
♪ Travel blogs ♪
♪ A chat room or two ♪
‎一两个聊天室
♪ We set our sights and spent our nights ♪
‎我们定好目标
‎利用夜晚的时间
‎等待
♪ Waiting ♪
♪ For you ♪
‎等你
♪ You ♪
‎你
‎永不满足的你
♪ Insatiable you ♪
‎妈咪让你用她的iPad
♪ Mommy let you use her iPad ♪
♪ You were barely two ♪
‎你才不到两岁
‎而且它完成了所有
♪ And it did all the things ♪
♪ We designed it to do ♪
‎我们当时赋予它的功能
‎现在看看你
♪ Now look at you ♪
Oh. [chuckles]
♪ Look at you ♪
‎看看你
♪ You, you ♪
‎你…
♪ Unstoppable, watchable ♪
‎势不可挡
‎值得一看
♪ Your time is now ♪
‎你发光的时间到了
♪ Your inside's out ♪
‎你毫无隐私了
♪ Honey, how you grew ♪
‎亲爱的，你就是这样长大的
♪ And if we stick together ♪
‎如果我们团结
♪ Who knows what we'll do ♪
‎谁知道我们能成就些什么
♪ It was always the plan ♪
‎一切都是计划好的
♪ To put the world in your hand ♪
‎把全世界交到你手中
[laughing hysterically]
‎我能让你永远对某件事感兴趣吗？
♪ Could I interest you in everything All of the time? ♪
♪ A bit of everything all of the time ♪
‎永远都给你一点点全世界
♪ Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime ♪
‎冷漠是悲剧，无聊是犯罪
♪ Anything and everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你全世界
♪ Could I interest you in everything All of the time? ♪
‎我能让你永远对某件事感兴趣吗？
♪ A little bit of everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你一点点全世界
♪ Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime ♪
‎冷漠是悲剧、无聊是犯罪
♪ Anything and everything And anything and everything ♪
‎全世界…
♪ And anything and everything All of the time ♪
‎永远都给你全世界
I've been freaking out for a long time,
‎我一直都很焦虑
thinking I'm never gonna finish this special and be working on it forever.
‎一想到我永远没办法拍完这部特辑
‎我会永远拍下去
‎最近我有种感觉
And recently, I've been feeling like,
"Oh, man, maybe I am getting close to done with this."
‎“天啊，也许我就快拍完了
"Maybe I'm gonna finish it after all." And that has made me completely freak out
‎也许我终究会拍完的”
‎这种想法真的让我慌到不行
because if I finish this special,
‎因为如果我拍完这部特辑
that means that I have to, um, not work on it anymore.
‎这表示我就
‎不能再继续拍了
And that means I have to just live my life,
‎这代表我得过好自己的生活
and so I'm not gonna do that, and I'm gonna not finish the special.
‎而我不想那样
‎所以我不会拍完这部特辑
I'm gonna work on it forever, I think.
‎我想我会永远拍下去
So, yeah, I'm gonna work on this forever,
‎对，所以我会永远拍下去
and I'm never gonna release it. I'm not talking to anybody now.
‎永远不会交出去 ‎所以我现在不会跟任何人联系
I'm just talking to myself.
‎我只是在自言自语
So, yeah, who fucking cares?
‎所以谁在乎？
‎去你的，再见
Fuck you, and goodbye, and let's keep going.
‎我们继续拍吧
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ You did it! ♪
‎你成功了！
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
‎杰佛瑞贝佐斯
♪ Congratulations! ♪
‎恭喜
[disembodied cheers and laughter]
[disembodied laughter]
[cheers and applause]
[laughter gets louder]
[birds chirping]
[Bo laughing]
Man, you guys are a great crowd.
‎妈啊，今天的观众真捧场
Give it up for yourselves for coming out, by the way, tonight. Give it up.
‎给自己一点掌声吧 ‎你们今晚都出门了
‎给自己鼓励一下
[clapping]
Supporting live comedy in these weird times.
‎在这种特殊状况下还支持现场喜剧
Um, it's crazy. Um…
‎太狂了
‎现在的状况真的很不一般
These are some pretty crazy times, but it's nice during these crazy times
‎但这样真的很不错
that we can get together. We can laugh.
‎大家还可以聚在一起大笑
[laughing] You know? Um…
‎明白吗？
[clicking tongue]
‎去年我学到了一件事
I've learned something over this last year,
which is pretty funny.
‎这还挺有趣的
Um, I've learned that
‎我学到了
real-world human-to-human tactile contact will kill you,
‎在真实世界中触碰到别人 ‎会把自己给害死
and that all human interaction,
‎加上所有人与人之间的互动
whether it be social, political, spiritual, sexual, or interpersonal
‎不管是社会上、政治上 ‎精神上、性爱方面或是人际关系
should be contained in the much more safe, much more real
‎都应该被限制在更安全 ‎更真实的地方里发生
interior digital space.
‎那就是内在的数位空间
That the outside world,
‎外在的世界
the non-digital world,
‎那个非数位的世界
is merely a theatrical space in which one stages and records content
‎只是一个供人排练跟摄录的剧场空间
for the much more real, much more vital digital space.
‎而这都是为了那更真实 ‎更为重要的数位空间
One should only engage with the outside world
‎人跟外在世界的接触
as one engages with a coal mine.
‎应该就像采矿时一样
Suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface.
‎穿好装备，收集所需的东西
‎然后就回到地面上
Um… [clicking tongue]
And is it just me, or do pirates need to take a little bit better care
‎难道只有我这样想吗？
‎还是强盗真的应该 ‎好好收藏他们的地图？
of their fuckin' maps?
You know, when I find a pirate's map,
‎当我找到某个海盗的地图时
it's… it's always tea-stained, and the edges are burnt,
‎那永远都是茶色的，边缘都烧焦了
and it's like if you're a pirate, all right, and you're gonna
‎如果你是个海盗
make this map and expect me to carry it around the globe
‎你画了这张地图 ‎希望我带着它航行全球
as I search for your treasure,
‎让我去寻找你的宝藏
then laminate it.
‎那就把它护贝起来啦
[birds chirping]
-[flickering] -[crickets chirping]
[owl hooting]
I can't really, uh, play the guitar very well,
‎我不太会弹吉他
um, or sing, so…
‎也不太会唱歌，所以
You know, apologies. [sniffles]
‎先说声抱歉
[strumming guitar]
♪ Stunning 8K resolution meditation app ♪
‎有着8K超高画质的冥想应用程式
♪ In honor of the revolution ♪
‎为了纪念革命
♪ It's half-off at the Gap ♪
‎现在Gap都半价
‎死侍、自我觉察
♪ Deadpool, self-awareness ♪
♪ Loving parents, harmless fun ♪
‎慈爱的父母、无害的乐趣
♪ The backlash to the backlash ♪
‎反对抵制那些
♪ To the thing that's just begun ♪
‎才刚刚开始的事物
‎又来了
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
‎又出现了
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎又来了
♪ There it is ♪
‎又出现了
♪ Again ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ The surgeon general's pop-up shop ♪
‎医务总监的快闪店
♪ Robert Iger's face ♪
‎劳柏艾格的脸
♪ Discount Etsy agitprop ♪
‎带有政治社会诉求的手工艺品打折了
♪ Bugle's take on race ♪
‎军号此起彼落
‎女上校桑德斯
♪ Female Colonel Sanders ♪
♪ Easy answers, civil war ♪
‎简单的答案、内战
♪ The whole world at your fingertips ♪
‎全世界都在你的指尖
‎像是你门前有片海洋
♪ The ocean at your door ♪
‎真人版狮子王
♪ The live-action Lion King ♪
♪ The Pepsi halftime show ♪
‎百事可乐中场秀
‎两万年的纷纷扰扰
♪ Twenty thousand years of this ♪
♪ Seven more to go ♪
‎还有七年要过
‎共乘卡拉OK秀
♪ Carpool Karaoke ♪
♪ Steve Aoki, Logan Paul ♪
‎史帝夫青木、罗根保罗
♪ A gift shop at the gun range ♪
‎靶场里的一间礼物店
♪ A mass shooting at the mall ♪
‎购物中心的大规模枪击案
♪ There it is ♪
‎又来了
♪ Again ♪
‎又出现了
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ There it is ♪
‎又来了
♪ Again ♪
‎又出现了
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ Reading Pornhub's terms of service ♪
‎读色情网站的服务条款
♪ Going for a drive ♪
‎开车去兜风
♪ And obeying all the traffic laws ♪
‎遵守每项交通规则
♪ In Grand Theft Auto 5 ♪
‎在《侠盗猎车手V》里
♪ Full agoraphobic ♪
‎严重的广场恐惧症
♪ Losing focus, cover blown ♪
‎失去焦点、掩护失败
♪ A book on getting better ♪
‎一本关于进步的工具书
‎由无人机亲自送达
♪ Hand-delivered by a drone ♪
‎完全解体
♪ Total disassociation ♪
‎完全失去神智
♪ Fully out your mind ♪
‎估狗现实感丧失
♪ Googling "derealization" ♪
‎讨厌你搜寻到的东西
♪ Hating what you find ♪
‎那股不明显的夏日空气
♪ That unapparent summer air ♪
♪ In early fall ♪
‎就在每个初秋
‎安静地理解
♪ The quiet comprehending ♪
‎一切的结局
♪ Of the ending of it all ♪
‎又来了
♪ There it is ♪
‎又出现了
♪ Again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎又来了
♪ There it is ♪
‎又出现了
♪ Again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎那种奇怪的感觉
♪ That funny feeling ♪
‎嘿，你能说什么？
♪ Hey, what can ya say? ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
‎我们早该遇上了
♪ But it'll be over soon ♪
‎但这很快就会结束
♪ You wait ♪
‎你等着
‎嘿，你能说什么？
♪ Hey, what can ya say? ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
‎我们早该遇上了
♪ But it'll be over soon ♪
‎但这很快就会结束
♪ Just wait ♪
‎你等等
[scatting]
♪ Hey, what can ya say? ♪
‎嘿，你能说什么？
♪ We were overdue ♪
‎我们早该遇上了
♪ But it'll be over soon ♪
‎但这很快就会结束
♪ You wait ♪
‎你等着
[scatting]
‎嘿，你能说什么？
♪ Hey, what can ya say? ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
‎我们早该遇上了
[humming]
♪ But it'll be over soon ♪
‎但这很快就会结束
♪ You wait ♪
‎你等着
[scatting]
♪ Hey, what can ya say? ♪
‎嘿，你能说什么？
♪ We were overdue ♪
‎我们早该遇上了
♪ But it'll be over soon ♪
‎但这很快就会结束
♪ You wait ♪
‎你等着
[scatting]
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
[exhales]
[sniffles]
[exhales, clears throat]
So, I--
‎所以…我
Jesus.
‎老天啊
[clears throat]
‎所以我一直在拍这部特辑
So I've been working on this, uh, special for…
‎到现在为止
‎已经一年了
a year now.
[inhales deeply]
‎它…
It-- [exhales]
[sighing] Fucking…
[exhales]
[sniffles]
So I've been working on this special for, um, a year now,
‎所以目前为止我已经拍了一年的特辑
which is, um, a lot longer
‎花费的时间
‎比我预计的
than I anticipated working on it.
‎还长很多
When I started…
‎我开始时
[smacks leg]
[sighs]
[exhales]
So I've been working on-- [scoffs]
‎所以目前为止我…
[drops mic]
I fucking…
‎我他妈的…
I can't. I fucking…
‎我办不到，我他妈的就是办不到
Fucking…
‎管他的
[exhales]
‎我…
I am…
not…
‎不太…
um, well.
‎好
[sobbing]
[continues sobbing]
[cheers and applause]
[electronic music playing]
[Bo] Thank you, guys. Thank you very much.
‎非常感谢大家
Thank you.
‎谢谢
You guys have been incredible. Thank you.
‎这真的太棒了，谢谢
[cheering and applause continue]
‎没有你们，我是办不到的
I couldn't have done this without you guys.
‎我是说真的，我…
I couldn't, really. I…
This last year has been… [sighs]
‎过去的一年以来
‎有时候
You know, there have been times that, um… [sighs]
[laughter]
But just knowing you're here,
‎但光是知道你们在这里的事实
you know, feeling you here with me.
‎感觉大家都在这里陪我
Um…
[laughter]
‎对，谢谢大家
Yeah, thank you.
[cheers and applause]
‎我不喜欢要求大家，因为…
You know, I hate to ask because, uh,
you've given me so much.
‎你们已经给了我很多
‎但是
But…
I need you to do one more thing for me.
‎我需要大家再为我做一件事
Can you do that?
‎可以吗？
[cheers and applause]
‎把手举起来
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get on out of your seats ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我…
‎把手举起来
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get on out of your seats ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我…
‎你会紧张吗？
♪ Are you feeling nervous? ♪
♪ Are you having fun? ♪
‎你看得开心吗？
‎就快结束了
♪ It's almost over ♪
♪ It's just begun ♪
‎这才刚开始
♪ Don't overthink this ♪
‎别想太多
♪ Look in my eye ♪
‎看着我的眼睛
♪ Don't be scared, don't be shy ♪
‎别害怕、别害羞
♪ Come on in, the water's fine ♪
‎进来吧，没事的
♪ We're going to go Where everybody knows ♪
‎我们要去一个大家都知道的地方
♪ Everybody knows ♪
‎大家都知道
♪ Everybody ♪
‎大家
♪ We're going to go Where everybody knows ♪
‎我们要去一个大家都知道的地方
♪ Everybody knows ♪
‎大家都知道
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我…
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me, yeah ♪
‎所有人都看着我…
♪ Hands down ♪
‎手放下
♪ Pray for me ♪
‎为我祈祷
♪ Heads down now ♪
‎现在低头
♪ Pray for me ♪
‎为我祈祷
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我‎…
[music continues]
‎你想听个好笑的故事吗？
You want to hear a funny story?
[cheers]
‎所以
So, uh,
‎五年前，我离开了
five years ago, I quit
performing live comedy,
‎现场喜剧的表演圈
because I was beginning to have, uh, severe panic attacks while on stage,
‎因为我开始在舞台上 ‎出现严重的恐慌症症状
which is not a great place to have them.
‎毕竟舞台上也不是很适合发作
[laughter]
So, I… I quit.
‎所以我离开了
And I didn't perform for five years, and I spent that time…
‎我有五年没表演
‎我利用那段时间
trying to improve myself mentally.
‎增进自己的心理健康
And you know what?
‎你猜怎么着？
I did!
‎我成功了
I got better.
‎我好多了
I got so much better, in fact,
‎事实上我真的好了很多
that in January of
‎甚至在2020年的
2020,
‎一月
I thought, "You know what, I should…
‎我心想：“不然这样吧，我应该
start performing again."
‎重新开始表演
"I've been hiding from the world,
‎我一直
‎在逃避这个世界
and I need to…
‎而我必须
reenter."
‎重新加入”
And then…
‎然后
the funniest thing happened.
‎就发生了这件鸟事
[laughter]
♪ Are you feeling nervous? ♪
‎你会紧张吗？
♪ Are you having fun? ♪
‎你看得开心吗？
♪ It's almost over ♪
‎就快结束了
♪ It's just begun ♪
‎这才刚开始
♪ Don't overthink this ♪
‎别想太多
♪ Look in my eye ♪
‎看着我的眼睛
♪ Don't be scared, don't be shy ♪
‎别害怕、别害羞
♪ Come on in, the water's fine ♪
‎进来吧，没事的
♪ You say the ocean's rising ♪
‎你说海平面正在上升
♪ Like I give a shit ♪
‎我他妈的才不在乎
♪ You say the whole world's ending ♪
‎你说世界末日要来了
♪ Honey, it already did ♪
‎对我而言，末日早就到了
♪ You're not gonna slow it ♪
‎你也无法让它放慢脚步
♪ Heaven knows you tried ♪
‎天知道你试过了
♪ Got it? Good. Now get inside ♪
‎享受过了，现在进去隔离吧
‎我们要去一个大家都知道的地方
♪ We're going to go Where everybody knows ♪
♪ Everybody knows ♪
‎大家都知道
♪ Everybody knows ♪
‎大家都知道
♪ We're going to go Where everybody knows ♪
‎我们要去一个大家都知道的地方
♪ Everybody knows ♪
‎大家都知道
♪ Come on, get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎来吧，把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我‎…
♪ Come on, get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎来吧，把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me, yeah ♪
‎所有人都看着我…
♪ Hands down ♪
‎手放下
♪ Pray for me ♪
‎为我祈祷
♪ Heads down now ♪
‎现在低头
♪ Pray for me ♪
‎为我祈祷
♪ I said, get your fuckin' hands up… ♪
‎我叫你把手举起来
Get up. Get up.
‎站起来…
I'm talking to you, get the fuck up! [pants]
‎我在跟你说话，他妈的快站起来！
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我…
♪ Hey, now get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎嘿，现在把手举起来
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
‎别坐在椅子上
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me, yeah ♪
‎所有人都看着我‎…
♪ Come on, hands down ♪
‎来吧，手放下
♪ Pray for me ♪
‎为我祈祷
♪ Heads down now ♪
‎现在低头
♪ Pray for me ♪
‎为我祈祷
♪ I said get your fuckin' hands up ♪
‎我叫你把手举起来
♪ Get-- ♪ [yelps]
‎站…
♪ All eyes on me All eyes on me ♪
‎所有人都看着我‎…
[mic feedback]
[birds chirping]
[gentle music playing]
[water running]
[Bo on laptop] Hi.
‎大家好
Welcome to, uh, whatever this is, um…
‎欢迎收看，无论这算是什么节目
[whirring]
[music continues]
[continues playing music]
[music continues]
[music fades]
[sighs]
‎我觉得
I think-- [clears throat]
‎我觉得我完成了
I think I'm… I'm done.
[exhales]
Um, possible… uh, ending song
‎这可能会是结尾曲
‎我还没写完
that is not finished yet.
Test.
‎测试
‎第一次拍摄
Take one.
[playing sentimental music]
♪ So long ♪
‎再会
‎再见
♪ Goodbye ♪
‎下次见到你时再见了
♪ I'll see you when I see you ♪
‎你可以选一条街
♪ You can pick the street ♪
♪ I'll meet you on the other side ♪
‎我在对街等你
‎再会
♪ So long ♪
‎再见
♪ Goodbye ♪
♪ Do I really have to finish? ♪
‎我真的必须完成吗？
‎报酬总是递减吗？
♪ Do returns always diminish? ♪
♪ Did I say that right? ♪
‎我说对了吗？
‎有谁想在空无一人的地方
♪ Does anybody want To joke when no one's ♪
‎讲笑话？
♪ Laughing in the background? ♪
♪ So this is how it ends ♪
‎所以这就是结局
♪ I promise ♪
‎我保证
♪ To never go outside again ♪
‎永远不再出门
♪ So long ♪
‎再会
‎掰
♪ Bye ♪
♪ I'm slowly losing power ♪
‎我慢慢失去力量
♪ Has it only been an hour? ♪
‎只过了一小时而已吗？
♪No, that can't be right ♪
‎不，这不可能
♪ So long ♪
‎再会
♪ Goodbye ♪
‎再见
‎嘿，我有个好主意
♪ Hey, here's a fun idea ♪
‎不如下次换我坐在沙发上
♪ How about I sit on the couch ♪
‎看着你
♪ And I watch you next time ♪
♪ I wanna hear you tell ♪
‎我想听你
‎在空无一人的地方
♪ A joke when no one's ♪
‎讲笑话
♪ Laughing in the background ♪
♪ So this is how it ends ♪
‎所以这就是结局
♪ I promise ♪
‎我保证
♪ To never go outside again ♪
‎永远不再出门
‎我要发疯了吗？
♪ Am I going crazy? ♪
‎我真的会发现自己疯了吗？
♪ Would I even know? ♪
♪ Am I right back where I started Fourteen years ago? ♪
‎我回到14年前 ‎我刚开始讲笑话的时候了吗？
♪ Wanna guess the ending? ♪
‎想猜猜看结局吗？
♪ If it ever does ♪
‎如果有结局的话
♪ I swear to God That all I've ever wanted ♪
‎我对上帝发誓，我一直以来想要的
♪ Was a little bit of everything ♪
‎不过是一点点全世界
♪ All of the time ♪
‎永远
♪ A bit of everything all of the time ♪
‎永远都给你一点点全世界
♪ Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime ♪
‎冷漠是悲剧、无聊是犯罪
♪ I'm finished playing And I'm staying inside ♪
‎我弹完了，我要留在家里
♪ If I wake up in a house That's full of smoke ♪
‎若我在一间烟雾弥漫的屋子里醒来
♪ I'll panic So call me up and tell me a joke ♪
‎我会慌，打给我，讲个笑话给我听
♪ When I'm fully irrelevant And totally broken, damn it ♪
‎当我已经完全过气、彻底破产时
‎他妈的！
♪ Call me up and tell me a joke ♪
‎打给我，讲个笑话给我听
♪ Oh shit ♪
‎糟了
♪ You're really joking At a time like this ♪
‎你真的在这种时候开玩笑
[in distorted voice] ♪ Well, well ♪
‎哎呀
♪ Look who's inside again ♪
‎再看看谁又在里面了
‎出去看看
♪ Went out to look ♪
‎这样就有理由再躲起来
♪ For a reason to hide again ♪
‎哎呀
♪ Well, well ♪
‎兄弟，你找到了
♪ Buddy, you found it ♪
♪ Now come out with your hands up ♪
‎现在高举双手走出来
‎我们已经包围了你
♪ We've got you surrounded ♪
[eerie high-pitched ringing]
[ringing stops]
[birds calling]
[disembodied applause]
[disembodied laughter]
[laughter continues]
[laughter gets louder]
[cheers and applause]
[laughter]
[laughter gets louder]
♪ It'll stop any day now ♪
‎这随时会结束
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
‎这随时会结束
♪ It'll stop any day now ♪
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ It'll stop any day now ♪
‎这随时会结束
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ It'll stop any day now ♪
‎这随时会结束
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ It'll stop any day now ♪
‎这随时会结束
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
‎这随时会结束
♪ It'll stop any day now ♪
♪ Any day now ♪
‎随时
♪ Any day now ♪
‎字幕翻译：林念臻
[music continues]
[music ends]