Shit! I have to hurry up!
It's time to work! Come on!
Good morning, Ivy!
Do you want to run? Come out!
Let me get your milk!
We used to do it everyday, come on
Come out now
You are so rich in milk!
I wish I would marry a wife like you so she can milk me everyday!
Young master
your milk please
Change the bed sheet!
No. Just throw the bed away
and buy a new one tomorrow Yes sir
Come on down!
Hey, take a morning bath!
Wash your hair, OK?
Who is going to wash my legs today? Me
Don't wash anything else
Tell me, am I smart?
Sure! You are so smart!
Young Master...
Old master called that he would come to visit you two days later
Tell him to bring me a million US dollars
Is that enough?
So, just tell him to bring more Yes sir
Daddy, I am a good boy, I miss you
I am now going to school
bring two million US dollars to me please
Sorry...
Where is my ladder?
Here it is!
Have some ice-cream
Green color matches your clothes
What is this?
Chocolate
Green color should match with yellow color!
How can you match with black color? Sorry
See! The black girl wears stripe underwear!
Yeah!
Wong Siu Fu?
Yes, I can tell from his ass
Stop him
Where can you go?
Brother Sing, I am here waiting for you
Sorry
for burning all your hair last time
That made you tattoo your eyebrow & wear wigs. I regret so much!
Never mind, since my family is working for your dad!
And I am good looking now!
You are really good looking!
I can't stand you!
Come on, have some chocolate
Brother Sing, I don't need it
This is cathartics, I tried that before
When did you become so smart?
I can't help, let's go
Young master, are you letting him go?
I can't help! See, how smart he is now!
I can't fool him any more
I lost two hundred dollars
Isn't it stolen?
Call the police now!
I have recorded the numbers
You are smart!
How is the taste of the note?
It's made of cathartics too
It melts in mouth and will be effective in 5 seconds!
You are trapped!
Hold it...
Not until he is shitting!
Go!
Jump! Jump!
Do you know it's dangerous to do so?
Who are you? Who is your boss?
My uncle is Professor Chang Sze of this college
I am studying here
I have told them not to let ugly women study here!
That's right
You know, I bribed them so as to enter this college
You are too ugly even bribery won't help! Go
Go Go now!
Go Bastard!
But I am smart!
You are not smart at all
What?
You are not smart at all
What did you say? How can you tell such lies?
Can you face your conscience?
Forget it... How can you face your parents?
Don't argue How can you face your country?
You'd better call a press conference to apologise
Or, I will kill you! You know?
Human bodies are the most fantastic things in the world
In my class, you are studying the most advance subject about it
That is the imitating function & adaptability of human bodies
It's like some lizards, it imitates the color of the surroundings
And human beings have the same function
Young master, after you
What are you staring? Go on teaching!
Get out
Now, I am giving you an example
Say, a couple
When they have stayed for a long time
Their appearances will be alike
They said, it's the couple look
In fact, this is the effect of human genes which imitate each other
What do you want to ask?
I always stay with women, how come I haven't become women?
Human bodies are weak
I believe that
one day, our organs will be replaced by artificial organs
What only left will be our brains
Our organs will be controlled by computers
We will have strong imitating power to imitate anyone
Or anything
Can we change to be a cigar?
According to theory, yes
You seem to be interested in this topic
In fact, I am interested in you
An ugly girl told me that you are her uncle
So I come here to see how cocky you are!
Now, I'm going to start the dissection
If you can stand it for three minutes
we will go ahead to discuss other questions
OK, I am now going to dissect the body
What's he doing?
He's really crazy!
You're really great!
You are the only one who can tolerate such long time in my class
Damn it!
I won't give it a damn
If only you open your eyes
I would admit that you are really bold!
It's a shame to be scared like this!
I'm scared to piss! May I be excused?
Are you scared?
Who do you think you are? If you have guts, finish the food
My dad is the director of this college I'll ask him to fire your uncle
And kick you out of the school
And sell you to be bar girl to perform strip dance
When you are dancing
I'll ask the bar manager to fire you again
No one can fire me
I am a senior scientific consultant employed by the US Gov't
I am a guest professor here
Well, since I can't fire you I will steam you!
I can't imagine you are the most disgusting guy in this college
I am all eyes!
What do you mean? My father is the director of this college
If your father wasn't the director
you would have been beaten to death
Shut up!
If you have guts, tell others that your father isn't the director
We'll wait and see the result
I won't give it a damn!
My father isn't the director
so what?
That bastard! He made me be beaten like shit!
I'll take revenge tonight
Yeah...
Left...
Right...
No
Be careful
You hurt me!
Sorry, are you alright, young master?
Should I give you some medicine?
Get lost!
Go upstairs and take a look
Young master, the laboratory shouldn't be upstairs
It should be built in the basement
Here is like a lab
Here it is, young master
What a big basement! We'll have a lot of fun here!
Place one here
If anyone steps on this animal trap
he would either die or become handicap
Where are you going?
In case he missed the trap
the banana skin here will help him to step on it
Wise guy!
Thank you
It's fixed
Remove these tubes
and piss in
Great
Young master...
I've just seen a hand running!
Just piss!
If I cheat you, my family line will end
I don't think you'll have any sons
Even yes, he should be a handicap
Not exactly
What are you staring at?
Young master...
I've just seen a pair of eyes
Just a pair of eyes which are staring at me
Staring at you? Yes
What do you want me to do?
I just want to ask you the same question?
If I were you
I would stab into it
Do you want me to show you how? Stare at me, come on
No, thanks
Shit! What's this?
What's up?
What is he staring at? Isn't it what you have just seen?
Yes, they're the eyes I have just seen
Stab it!
Go to hell
How are you doing?
What's up?
I don't know! What's that?
Let me handle it
It's not successful
Gently... gently please
Stop! Don't go
Police, freeze!
I've got you!
Come out
I asked you to come out
Kid, what are you doing here?
Show me your I.D. card
I haven't brought it
Help!
Wait for me...
Help...
Come on. Check it
Don't believe them! They're crazy they're really crazy!
OK, OK! Don't worry, we'll handle it calm down
Mr. Lee, we have found for half an hour
But we can't find the walking hand which you have mentioned
And the eyes too
Not even a ghost
Shit!
My fellow's ass was almost stabbed by that hand
It did stab into my ass, two inches! Two inches deep in my ass
4 inches altogether 4 inches!
This student of mine is having great imagination
Just let him play
Professor, I suspect that you are a crazy maniac
I believe that you killed many innocent people
And you chopped off their hands for cruel scientific experiment
You are so wise!
But you can't prove anything
You'd better find the hands and legs first
What are you doing here?
The hand is a sex maniac
I think it must be a male's hand
So, I pretend to be a female hand to seduce it
Send two persons there to have a look
I'll take two up there and check it out
Tat, get the finger prints Yes sir
I am the in-charge here, behave yourself
Young master...
My father is...
Young master...
Bye bye
If you are free come to my class tomorrow
Young master, why did you hit me?
Why did you forget the secret code?
There isn't anyone outside
That professor must be a crazy killer
I disclosed his secret he will come to kill me, you know?
Ortherwise, why should I ask you to find someone to protect me?
And, I asked you to employ bodyguards
Not model! Yeah
They just put their hands on their waists how can they protect me?
They are just models What?
Time's up, leave now Yes sir
What do you mean? They are blind
Since no one is willing to work for you in Hawaii
So, I have to employ some blind men to be models...
So...
When I count to 3, I'll kick you out if I still see you
Three!
Why didn't you count one two?
Master
I want to give him a big surprise
Dad?
My son!
Hi mom
Son
How is your health?
Are you alright?
I am fine, a master taught me great Kung-fu
So, when you hit me
the rod bend, but I am fine
Now, I haven't any sore throat and didn't vomit blood
Everything is alright
But, I think I am a bit crazy now
It's true
Yeah
Should I show you?
See, I think I am a bit crazy
What's wrong with you?
Stop scolding me, Emperor Tsun is coming to attack us
Hold it, I want to save others
Should we take a look?
The enemies are coming, get ready
I'll open the door to shift the enemy's attention
You, go to his back and beat him
Hi
Watch out!
Miss, are you alright?
I am fine
Who is he?
I don't know, maybe a thief
What do you want?
My name is Bonnie
I live next to you
Well, my bathing tub is out of order
Kidding?
May I use yours to take a bath?
I usually wash right here
Shampoo, conditioner, anything you want
And, there is a cleaning brush under the water
Not bad
By the way, you are so fast to take off your clothes!
Usually I use lesser time to take off other's clothes
I don't believe it
Isn't it called diving?
Watch!
Whose stuff is it?
That's mine
Miss, don't you worry you would be teased?
Be careful of the bark dogs!
Your dad fainted
He will wake up if I give him more strikes
Go and take a look
Let me help you to wash your back
It seems to be something for washing toilet
Yeah, I am washing toilet now
You are so bad
You don't remember your dad's name now!
By the way, I have forgotten
Madam, you look familiar to me
who are you?
I wish I had given birth to a bun instead of you
Having me was the side effect only
You were enjoying the process of making me
You're right
You've almost finished your bath
What's next?
I haven't got any idea
But if someone helps me to wash my toes
maybe, I will have some ideas
What's this?
Mental illness drop What's that?
LSD!
Yeah!
What are you doing?
Do you want to vomit it?
I want to see what brand it is
For I want to buy some more for sudden use
No, I have many of it. Come on!
Yeah!
Good evening, what can I serve you?
7 Tequila
That's Tequila mixed with seven-up
No! 7 Tequila
7 glasses for each
Yeah
Do you think I am stupid?
Ladies and gentlemen!
Now it's the time you've all been waiting for
the world's most famous twist contest!
Yeah!
First, let's see who our champions will be tonight
The winners will receive a mystery prize
Why not go dancing?
I don't know how to dance
If you win I will sleep with you tonight
Bonnie, you have mistaken me
I am not a wolf
Understand?!
Hug me
Why are you so hot now?
My husband is here
Really?
Turn and have a look
He is walking towards the bar table
Over ten men are walking over there are they all your husbands?
No, the rest are the bodyguards of him
Are your husband operating a security company?
No, he is a boss Really?
What company?
He is the boss of Japanese triad gang
Yeah. Bye bye
I know how's the result
The winners are Mr. Lee Chak Sing and his lovely lady
Wait, give the lady a kiss give the lady a kiss!
I've got the betrayer
You are so bad! Why didn't you drive?
Why don't you talk?
Are you sleeping?
What's wrong with you?
How are you?
Don't faint!
How are you?
No...
Where is it?
I don't care!
Yes, he is having trouble
I've prepared everything, come here now
I beg you
When I arrive, he will be dead fix him first
This isn't your first time!
I didn't know how to do it
I have no experience!
You should learn it now
If he dies in your place you will be finished
I will get the handbook to instruct you, wait
Have you located the mark?
Yes, it is
He overtook drugs
So caused heart weakness
To prevent expansion
You have to do him some injections to stimulate his heart
So as to save him
Kidding?
Try. You've no choice!
Have you got the needle?
Yes
Forget anything, but stab in
You've waken
Yes
But the woman fainted
Where was the needle?
It's stabbed into the left hand side under my belly
9 out of 10 men's dicks are placed on the left
how about yours?
I am lucky, I am the tenth one
it's placed on the right
Congratulations
But my ball is on the left
Well, bye bye
Forgive me, it's not done by me
You bastard!
I gave you so much money!
I just wanted you to amend something in government's computer
How dare you betray me?
Boss, don't kill me! Don't kill me...
Boss, you speak fluent Cantonese
I always talk to my girl lately
That's why I have enough practice
I'll handle you first
Don't kill me...
So, should I listen to you?
If yes, how can I be the boss?
Give me one more chance...
Alright, I will give you another chance
So as to let you die with no regrets
When the bitch and his adulterer come back
catch them and throw them to the sea
To feed the fish
Get him
Shit
Fuck
What does that mean?
What are you doing?
You said a walking hand was found in Professor Chang's home
Now, you said someone is going to kill you
Get out
Mom, this is shit!
What a big trouble!
Let me tell you Let me tell you
Someone wants to kill me!
This isn't a big deal I have something to tell you
I know! You want me to study hard
I always study hard
No, I have something new to tell you
Your dad, Lee Yat-fai isn't your father at all
I know. Tat is my dad
How do you know it?
I hit dad and he went crazy but I didn't hit you!
What made you to be crazy then?
Crazy?
Don't you think I am really crazy?
You bitch! You disclosed your secret!
That's why I know you aren't my son
I've suspected that for ages
My nick-name is Handsome Valentino!
But...
my son looks like shit!
I know nothing!
Anyway, I want 2 million
Who gives me 2 million I will take him as dad
I have two hundred dollars
Two million
Please go back to wash toilet
25 years ago
one night, I was reading sex novels in the store room
Your mom rushed in, she wore nothing but turned off the light
Mind your tongue
I did wear something, I mean the socks
Sorry
You wore a pair of white socks
Old master went out on that night
I couldn't control myself and I...
When I turned on the light I regretted so much!
So, why did you read the sex novel?
Shut up, stop saying anything!
Stop!
If a son hits his dad he will be hit by thunder
Who said he is my dad? Why should I believe it?
Do you have any proof?
It's shown in the movie that if a dad kneels in front of his son
his son will feel dizzy
Really? So, just try, see whether I will feel dizzy or not
Kneel down
See? Feeling dizzy now!?
I am fine! Don't you believe it?
Stop messing up
I have bright future
Here is a cheque of 2 million
If you take me as your dad
I will forget everything and you will have further benefits
Otherwise...
You can tell the result
No... Don't take the cheque...
Thank you dad
You are my good son
The wise guys should know how the wind blows
This is not filial!
No
Get out
I don't mind you not admitting me as your dad
Get lost!
I always spoil you, in fact it's a harm to you
Mind your tongue, or I will call the police to arrest you
Be honest
You are a very disgusting person
Stop!
I hope you would know how to respect people from now on
So, others will respect you
Get lost, bastard!
You are bastard
I am your dad, so I can scold you
How dare you?
Hello
Are you confessing?
Don't you scare?
I won't give it a damn
See my teeth?
Aren't you happy?
How can I get happy after seeing you?
I'd better leave
Please, hurry up
Hello
Come here
I have a friend
For money, he just ignored his own dad
Then?
That's it
I am leaving
Wait...
He kicked his dad out of his home
And gave him a heavy kick
At that moment, it was pouring & with thunderstorm
What do you feel about this guy?
Worse than animal
But he is really handsome
That's better
Otherwise, he should be shot to death
I just want to ask one more question
Don't you think I am smart?
I, Chung Chung, swear here
You are not handsome at all
He is alone tonight
Damn!
Move it
They are here
Do you want to call 911 for the police?
May I?
Up to you
What is the number?
Sorry!
Who turned off the light?
Don't go!
Why are you standing here?
I didn't know he would bump against me
Go and get him
This house is too big
I think I'll blow it up
Watch me
And!
Yeah Yeah
Why are you back?
I haven't left
Don't move
Take the gun here
Don't do anything mad Give it to me slowly. Hurry up!
Don't pull off a stunt, I tell you
Don't you think I can't see your cunning eyes behind the glasses?
Don't do anything stupid
Give me your gun
You've got it
OK!
Don't move!
Don't mess up, I have got your friend
This is what I want to tell you Your boss is with me
Well, let's change our hostages
Damn you! Let my friend go
Or, I will shoot him to death
OK...
Why do you kneel down?
He is my son, he can't stand it!
He feels dizzy for I kneel down in front of him!
Hello, goodbye
That stupid guy doesn't know how to use gun, but bomb only
He has made a big mistake this time
Watch!
He left a knife
Do you remember we have a spring toilet?
The one which is used to fool Wong Siu-fu?
It's just next to you
Oh!
How many people can it serve each time?
One
Don't worry we still have couple of hours
Wear your glasses!
Just 10 seconds are left
You can't cut the chain by the knife
Chop off my hand and leave as soon as possible!
You needn't teach me that
I haven't treated you nice in my life
Now, I will pay everything back to you
Dad
My dear son
Sit down!
Chung Chung, are you alright?
I am fine
Have you had a nightmare?
Yes I saw Sing being blown up in my dream
What a horrible dream!
Aren't you hating him?
Why did you think of him in your dream?
In fact, I hate him
I know, I remember a psychiatrist said
those bad guys have special attraction to women
In fact, he isn't that bad
He went to the church for confession
He just loves face he doesn't want me to tease him
He is so poor, for he hasn't any friends
He is a smart guy
Otherwise, he can't think of so many tricks to fool others
Yes
Doctor Chang please Speaking
A patient called Lee Chak-sing is blown to death
Come to the hospital now
What's up?
What you saw isn't a dream
It's real
Professor...
How is my son?
Stay calm
From the medical point of view
your son is dead
What?
But to me...
He is halfly dead
What do you mean?
Dad, are you here?
Why only his lips are left?
Right
Did professor tell you anything?
Now, all my blood and flesh are gone
Just the brain and lips are left
Take a rest
Don't say so much!
Now, I have to tell you a good news and a bad news
What?
The good news is, I've mentioned the artificial organs, right?
Now, it's successfully invented by the US government
You may keep two original organs
For the rest, you can replace them with artificial organs
So, we can rebuild your son's body
Do it now
This is Doctor Quency, the chief doctor of this hospital
How are you?
This is my son, please save his life
Listen to me, I have a bad news too
He wants 60 million US dollars for the operation
Sorry, I don't have that much
How can you do the operation then?
It doesn't matter, I will call his wealthy father
I understand
You'd better talk to him directly
Sing, I have much money
But I don't want you to see Tat again
Otherwise, I won't treat you as my son any more
Let's stop any communication
In fact, I've made up my mind in these days, Mr. Lee
Let's forget each other from now on
Alright, since you don't listen to me just go to hell
Why are you so stupid?
Oh Jesus, you're wasting any time I can't believe it
He is so practical! Not merciful at all
I don't have that much money I can only afford $6000 dollars
Do you have 6 thousand?
OK, I will give you a hand, a free hand!
We may do it in a cheaper way
Dare you try?
The sweat!
It's fixed
What a hard time for you!
Eat while it's still hot
Great...
The noodles that I made will make you never forget
He looks so angry, let him eat first
My dear son, have the noodles first
I am not in the mood
The operation can be claimed a success
His look has almost been recovered
But not the face
A square face is always smart looking
Will it be too smart?
It's OK
Just take a look first
What? I have to eat my noodles first
Be frank. How can you say OK?
It's cheap, don't be so mean!
I wanna kill myself
Calm down!
Professor, you should take it seriously!
Help, fix him first
OK
Look. You look handsome now!
That's your original look
Thank you, Professor
This is what I should do
But I think my hands are of different length
Everyone's hands are not of same length
But, they vary too much!
So?
It's cheap, don't be so mean!
I'd better kill myself
Professor, are you fooling us?
How can you provide such hand for him?
Don't you think we are fools?
Stay calm...
Calm? How can I calm down?
Trust me...
Do you want me to believe you again?
You are lucky. In this month, over 100 pairs of hands are dumped
I've tried my best to find you a perfect pair of hands
Try
It's OK Really?
Yes! Yes
What?
I am sorry. What are dumped in this month are...
only hands!
They are cheap
Don't be so mean!
Left hand
Right leg
Yeah
So great!
Congratulation, professor
It's really perfect
I said it would be OK, right?
Congratulation!
Stop
I can't stop!
Damn you!
When will he stop?
I think...
He will stop after the battery is used up
Out of battery now!
Come on
The electronic organs can't be adapted easily, so he lost control
He will be alright soon
And he has to eat battery daily
Don't get your body wet
Or, you can't move
I want to piss
Help yourself
He can only eat battery
What's this?
This is for urination, after using it just close it
Please find a better looking one!
How about shitting?
Use this too
You...
Don't faint!
And I have to plant a chip inside your brain too
If it is planted
the imitating function of your electronic organs will be started
So, you can change yourself to everything
According to theory you may change to everything
I just want to be myself
Sure
So, go ahead and plant it
I haven't invented that yet
You?!
Piss on him
Piss...
No...
Sing, the Japanese triad gang is so powerful here
And they are cruel
If they know you are not dead
they will come again
So, I will arrange a fake funeral for you tomorrow
And you have to fly to Hong Kong as soon as possible
Never come back again
I can't imagine someone would cry for me!
I will remember that
Hey, pal...
this building is going to be demolished why don't you move out?
I will move out soon I'm going to pack up now
Better leave as soon as possible
Are you wet by the rain?
I can't move whenever I get wet!
I don't want to be alive!
Stop saying such nonsense! Just add some oil, then you'll be alright
What have you done to me?
Show me your finger
Like this
Stop playing
I want to piss, please help me
Alright...
I've taken it out but it's stepped by you
I am sorry
Why do you change a shower?
The old one is stuffed so I have to change a new one
It doesn't work
It comes out from your ears too! It's stuffed again!
Please blow it dry for me please
You do it yourself
Hold it
Go ahead
Let's eat
Your dad is fired today
This place will be demolished some days later
We'd better find a shelter in the garden
By the way, a rapist always shows up in the garden
He loves raping young man of your age
Come on, have some of it
I do want to have a change
Alright, I will buy you a new battery tomorrow
Why not buy some drugs
Let's commit suicide together
Siu-fu! I am so glad to see you!
Sing, I've found a new job for you
Really?
To be a biology teacher
This is the address of the college
Eight o'clock. I've arranged everything for you
The salary is over ten thousand dollars
Siu-fu, I treated you badly in the past but you're so nice to me!
I...
Don't be silly let's forget those history
We're grown up now
Siu-fu!
Work hard
Have the change
Still 50 cents left
What? Still 50 cents left
Are you the teacher here? Yes
I'll give you a dollar
so as to let you call for police
Good morning, I am the newly employed biology teacher
I feel something bad
It's too quiet
Yeah, what a nice place
You are too absent minded
This is called the grave of teachers in Hong Kong
57% of the teachers here are hurt and become handicap
You should pay full attention in class
In fact, I was a nasty student in school
My nickname is "Despicable Man"
"Shameless Guy" is my real name
I have experienced everything!
Stupid. My nickname was "Evil King in Hell"
But now
I am a poor guy
Good morning sir
Good morning
Good morning sir Good girl
Are you a new comer? Yes
Let me show you to the administration office Great
Here you are
Here? Are you kidding?
Bye bye
Be careful
You are really something
Here is a bit safe
The most secure place is the most dangerous place
57% of teachers are seriously hurt
how about the remaining 43%?
23% death
11% went crazy
Only 9% can stand great insult and pressure here
What's wrong with you?
Sir
Don't panic, he is Long Hair An informer of us
he comes to pass me some messages
Oh, an informer needn't wear pants
Since my identity is disclosed so they took off my pants
They said a new teacher would come to work today
they want him dead
Are you the new teacher?
I want to have a look then
I tell you...
I was a heartless and animal like...
Sir
What's the matter?
What is your blood type?
Mr. Tang, the net profit of our international school...
has had double increment when comparing with last year's figure
I'm so glad to present such satisfactory figure to the directors' board
Increase 2 more classes in each grade in next semester
For school fee we'll have 50% increment too
We charge $17,000 per month can they afford that?
The students aren't coming for studying you know?
Their fathers are all rich guys
They just want any school's record for further studies abroad
They are willing to pay for that
That's right
If we have more satisfactory income next year
I'll consider to distribute shares
Well! It's a good idea... good idea
Dad, a teacher was beaten seriously by a student
Is that true?
We take this educational business
Right, the students are our clients
Say the club girls, they have to face the clients with smiling face
But a club girl won't be beaten by students
However, they will be screwed by their clients
Well, just take yourself as a club girl
I won't!
I'm the club girls' manager
Manager...
Can't you read?
Rats and teachers are not allowed to come in!
Beat him
I can't go in still
No
It's broken
Help, principal
Be patient! You will be used to it later
That way
Hello
I am still alive
Uncle told me that
Hello...
Are you the new teacher?
Yes. Hello
Do you need my help?
No, I am fine
How is your teaching?
So far so good
Are you teaching gardening?
What?
And your shower...
Don't touch, be careful
Don't you know it's dirty?
OK
Chung Chung
My friend is coming to pick me up see you
Really?
Bye bye Bye bye
What's wrong with you?
So far so good
Not bad! So keep on
If I were you, I would have suicided
Just do according to your suggestion
Kidding? What's wrong with it?
I am having more and more power instead! Shit!
If you are great, let me stay alive even if I jump to death
I've made it
You know, the super chip is invented successfully by me
At the critical moment I placed it into your mouth
Now, you have become a super superman!
You may maintain the world peace now
What did you say?
To maintain world peace
What?
To maintain world peace
Where are you going?
To destroy the invaders of the 5 planets
Where are you going?
I am not that great
I want to suicide
Listen to me first
Although you are made of cheap organs
After having this chip
The imitating function will be started automatically
So, your power will be unlimited
You can change to be everything
I want to be a cooking pot, may I?
Sure, just think of the cooking pot then you can make it
Stop playing, professor you are not a kid
Look at the mirror
What's wrong with it?
Do you believe in it now?
If you want to be human just think of yourself
Professor, isn't he my son?
Change back to your original look
How come?
Don't waste it...
Professor, we have rice now
can he change to be some food?
He is changing...
Bastard, do you want to scare me to death?
I just wanted to brush my teeth but I become like this
Cut the crap change to be a piece of gold
Sorry, he can be a toothpaste only
You are not used to that so limited changes can be made
But nevermind, take a rest
then you may change back to your original look
I wasted all my life...
And I input Mrs. Wong's family encyclopedia into your computer
So, you may change to many many funny things
What are interesting written in Mrs. Wong's book?
Yes...
So many wonderful inventions!
Say a toilet, it's modern looking...
Enough, let's stop here
This is toothpaste
You'd better use another brand
I use this brand too
You are foreigner! You can't use it
Sit down
Damn!
This is Mr. Black Stone an FBI coming from USA
He hopes you'd be witness...
to sue against Fumito of the Japanese triad
No! I didn't witness him and he wanted to kill me
I would be dead meat to offend him again
You have become something instead of a human being now
What is worrying you then?
This is your fault! You never give me advantage
You just input family appliances into my computer
It would be embarrassing if I am seen by Chung Chung
Don't worry
The son of the college's director dated her for a proposal
What?
Dad, squeeze me at once
I want to die
What for?
Have you got my permission yet?
Do you know how important you are now?
Only you can become a toothpaste in this world
If she knows that she can brush her teeth for free because of you
She will hug you at once!
And you have to maintain world peace!
But you tell me that you want to suicide!
What'll I do now?
What do you think?
What's wrong?
Where are you now? I am waiting for you
I am now in a restaurant, honey
Why don't you come back now?
I will be back soon
I saw a toothpaste!
What?
A big toothpaste!
Hey
Cheers
John always said you are pretty and cultured
He is flattering me
Few years ago, he always teased me for I was wearing glasses
You have had great change!
After marrying with John you have to behave well
We are a tough and decent family
Why are you so rude? You may scare her
I am sorry...
May I be excused?
Sure
Thank you
See, she is scared
Enter at the back
What?
Not here! Go through the back stage
Why?
Aren't you the magician?
I am looking for someone
Sorry, please help yourself
Not here!
Hey, watch!
Sorry
Do you want to peep?
Damn you, bastard!
It's me
Why do you come to the ladies' toilet?
I want to tell you something
Just go ahead
I am different now
I noticed that
Zebra, right?
In fact, from now on I want to be a decent man!
If yes, you won't come to the ladies' toilet
I don't have any seat
My friend is waiting for me
Do you come for a match?
None of your business
Not exactly
If you are a little bit fond of me
What made you say so?
Two years ago
you did shed a tear of love in my funeral
Sorry, I think you've misunderstood
I will cry even if I step a cockroach to death, OK?
Chung Chung, I guarantee that
I am much better than a cockroach now
So what?
See, I am really different
Uncle's research has reached a success!
A real success!
Damn! It's full
Auntie, are you alright?
I have drunk too much herbal tea to keep fit
That's why I always want to shit!
What a special toilet!
Yeah...
Leave me alone, or it'll stink!
Go out and have a chat with them
Alright Good girl
Chung Chung, let's go for a dance
Great
Forget about it
Madam, do you want to piss or shit?
Shit of course
You can shit in the basin!
What's the matter?
Auntie
I was scared by the toilet
Are you crazy for playing too much mahjong?
It's true...
Go back to your seat first, go!
What's the matter? My underwear is left behind
Let's go, no one will notice that
Yes, go back to your seat
Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to have Mr. R. Billion...
to perform magic for us
Now, the show starts
Hi
Hello
What magic do you know?
I know everything
Can you make a toothpaste?
Toothpaste?
What a fresh request!
Give my son one more please. Come on
Can you make such a big toothpaste?
Well!
Can't you make it?
I will fire you
Wonderful?
Thank you...
I am not playing supernatural power
It's just magic
I would like an assistant from the audiences
How about this lady?
No, please let me go
How about this young man?
I... Forget it if you don't have any guts
I do have guts
Son!
Yeah
Bravo!
You will be a super star!
You mean it
Damn you!
Bravo!
Honey...
Hold me tight if you are panic
It's really funny!
I have been longing for playing parachute!
I am so happy
Chung Chung, please don't!
I am scared
You know, it's not good to fool others like that
I did that for your sake
I decided to turn a new leaf
Try to accept me, Chung Chung
How to show that?
Say, have a date, a wedding or reproduce babies
What do you want to do first?
Crazy guy!
I am considering to have a date first
Yeah
From today onwards no one can yell at me
Damn you! You haven't paid yet
Sorry, keep the change please
Sorry! Sorry!
Let me down!
Run for your life!
Call the police at once!
Those students refuse to take examination, they raise a riot
Let me down! Hey...
Run! Run for your life!
Do you love playing with water?
I am coming!
Help!
Why don't you study but act like rascals here?
Go back to take the examinations!
Close your eyes and turn back
The examination starts
Baldy, you first
No... I don't want examination!
No... I don't want it
Chinese History quiz question number one
Who is the first emperor of Ming Dynasty?
A. Chu Yuen-chang
B. Chu Yau Ko
C. Chu Yan
Chu Yan
Wrong! The answer is number A
Second one: What are the Five Barbarians?
Choose the wrong answer among the following answers
Hun
Sin-bei
Chi. Chiang. Di
And Hong Kong
Chiang!
You fool!
Beat him!
Next: What's the relationship between Yung-chang and Chien Lung?
Chien Lung is the father of Yung-chang
Chien Lung is the son of Yung-chang
Chien Lung is the aunt of Yung-chang
I remember, wait, I remember
I attended that class
Think over it carefully and gain some face for yourself
B. Chien Lung is the son of Yung-chang
Yeah
Bravo!
Cheers!
Baldy, you are a nice boy, you are great
Let uncle hug you! I love you
I will study hard!
Me too
In this month
You turned the most naughty students to be good
They have incredible improvement!
It's all because of your great leadership
Mr. Lee, you are the superstar of the education field
Principal, you are great!
Because of this reason
We can't accept you, a giant...
to teach in our college
Please find another job
You are really like a principal
You are so humorous!
I am not kidding
You seize the girlfriend from the hand of the director's son
I can't help you at all
I see! It's a piece of cake
Let's have a talk
Good morning
Cut the crap, if you want this job
leave Chung Chung at once
Wait, you have to pay attention to an important news first
Go ahead
In fact, I am...
Terminator III
What?
That film hasn't been made yet
It's filmed now
Terminator III
Jurassic Park IV
Jaws V
I'm bitten!
I love it
Why do they go crazy?
They have watched too many imported films
We can't help, the Hong Kong made movies are too poor
Before the principal got mad he told me...
to take over his place
I hope you would study hard
Money is not a matter
At least you should be respected by others
Yeah
Now, you are being respected
I prefer having money!
Good ball!
Give them a heavy blow!
Come on!
Be careful!
What are you looking at?
Watch mine!
Oh my heart!
Do you want to play ball games here?
This playground is taken care by me
Have you paid yet?
It's you!
My boss knew that you are still alive
And you wanted to be the witness against him
I was terribly scolded
So, I have to kill you this time
Don't kill me! Superman!
I become superman, all because of you
Thank you
You're welcome...
What's up?
Playing basketball
Playing...
What's wrong with him? Is he dead?
Almost dead!
What's wrong? I am scared
Don't panic, I am here with you
How about if you are not around?
Let's stay together forever
Great...
No...
Forget it, I don't mean it
What did you say? You'd keep your promise!
Follow me
It's you!
Did you pay the bail?
Can't you imagine it?
Honey, thank God!
I heard that you sent Mark to Hong Kong
How's he doing?
He died
What?
His back bones are broken into 7 pieces
He couldn't move forever
But I have 60 million
60 million?
I made Mark to be the most powerful robot in the world
And I input all details of murdering methods to his brain
And all details of war games too
I want the bastard die!
Why do you cry?
My son is now yours that's why I cry!
Except the lips, everything of your son are given by me
But he courted your niece by means of his lips, so what?
Thank you
Dad My son
Professor. Thank you
Congratulations! Thank you
By the way, does your shower work?
It's off
But I don't know why an octopus is grown!
Octopus?
Help yourself
Brother Sing
Siu-fu?
Congratulations!
Today is Brother Sing's big day I am so happy
I've fooled you for decades and you are still alive
I am much more happier!
Thank you
If not were you, my eyebrow won't be that smart looking
Stay back. All of you stay back
Have a picture first
Siu-fu hasn't tattooed his eyebrows for ages
Really?
Yes
Run!
I want everyone die!
Chung Chung
I am scared
Don't panic. Stay calm, don't panic!
Fire
Great!
Don't come over!
Why are you shot?
Luckily you're a robot! If your head isn't shot, that'll be alright
Come out! Stop pretending!
Don't you know me?
Answer my question first
When I took your lesson for the first time
who was sitting at the 8th seat of the first row?
How can I remember that?
When I count to three, I'll kill you if you can't answer correctly
One
Two
Three!
It's you
Right!
Sing, are you alright?
Stop pretending!
Answer my question first
Who was sitting at the 8th seat of the first row...
That's you
You heard my question
No, I haven't!
I wanna kill you!
I am real, go ahead and question me
Damn you!
Wait...
Let's make it clear first
Hands off!
Have you seen my wife?
You always bother me when I am having fun!
Go... Hurry up!
I warn you, I hate others disguise me!
Sing
Don't go over there Sing
You are just a cheap robot! You are no match for me
What's that?
I know it. He will become more powerful when he meets powerful component
His revenge system is started
He'll become the most horrible weapon in the supermarket
You mean condom?
I scare nothing! Even you become napkins!
Kidding?
Mrs. Wong?
Beat him...
Mrs Wong's Invincible Robe
You fail! Yeah!
He is lost
You are standing inside my stomach! You stupid fool
You've become a microwave oven?!
Can't you come out? This microwave oven can melt diamond!
Who said family appliances are useless?
It's alright
No, don't you think it's steak?
He is a robot you have to cook longer time!
It's done! It's done!
Bravo!
Damn you Baldy!
Where is he?
Beat him!
No!
How are you? Are you alright?
The robot melted in my stomach! I have a bit stomachache
Are you a man or a woman?
Can I marry you?
Octopus!
Don't panic
I just need a hair cut and we can get married again
Chung Chung
Are you Mrs. Wong?
What's the matter?
I want to date you for a movie or a dinner
what do you think?
Are you crazy?
I'm considering to have a date with you
Yeah