漫威漫画
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罗根
去你妈的金刚狼 Fuck Wolverine.
首先 他也给自己的电影评R级 First, he rides my coattails with the R rating.
然后这个长毛混蛋竟然靠挂掉赚了一堆流量 Then the hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying.
混蛋 What a dick.
你猜怎么着 狼哥 Well, guess what, Wolvie?
这部我也要死 I'm dying in this one, too.
香港
要想明白我为什么在 To understand why I took a cat-nap
1200加仑高挥发性燃料上睡觉... on 1,200 gallons of high-test fuel...
那我得带你回到 I need to take you back
六周前的曲折故事 to the dewy slopes of six weeks ago.
我走国际路线了 I'd gone international,
处理重要杀人犯 黑帮成员 taking out mass murderers, gangsters,
坏不堪言的怪物 unspeakable monsters.
没人能触碰的人 除了我 People nobody would touch. Except me.
我要把他们全摸个遍 I'm gonna touch them all over.
我是盖尔 Hey, it's Gail calling.
小西装真帅气 Love the shiny suit.
让你的双眼更添了几分皮条客的魅力 Really brings out the sex trafficker in your eyes.
他们付你多少 我加倍
我不会说广东话 贵... I don't speak Cantonese, Mister...
我都懒得尝试了 Well, I'm not even gonna attempt that.
但我初二上了西班牙语课 所以... But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so...
图书馆在哪里
这句话的字面意义就是... Which literally translates to...
我不讨价还价 南瓜蠢蛋 I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
这不是吉尔伯特家 Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.
对不起 I am so sorry.
我以为这是肛门漂白派对 I thought this was an anal-bleaching party.
别担心 你不会死的 Don't worry. You're not going to die.
不过这个可能会要你命 Although these will kill you.
上吧 宝贝 Hit it, Dolly.
我只是上帝的代言人 I'm merely a vessel for the Lord.
让罪犯放下拿枪的手 Taking the hands out of the guns of the criminals!
西西里
别冲我这么做 Do not go in there!
看看美国队长试试这一手 Let's see Captain America do that.
比洛克西
太异域了吗 Too exotic?
大阪
我不讨价还价
天啊 天啊 暂停 暂停 Oh, God! Oh, God, time out! Time out!
卡 坏蛋的血溅到人家眼睛里了 Cut. I've got bad guy blood, right in my open eye.
好恶心哦 Oh, that's so gross.
操 Fuck.
看起来你还留了点空档 Looks like you left a little landing strip there.
我喜欢 I like it.
天啊 Oh, man!
家 美好的家
我的世界巡演带我回到了家 My world tour brought me home
找到了这个人 谢尔盖·瓦利什尼科夫 to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.
但是我们等会儿再说他 But we'll get to him in a moment.
我知道你们都在想什么 'Cause I know what you're thinking.
"还好把孩子们都安顿在家里了" "I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home."
但是你错了 But that's where you'd be wrong.
你的保姆现在正嗨翻了天 That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now...
以及信不信由你 《死侍2》是一部家庭电影 and, believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film.
千真万确 True story.
每一部优秀家庭电影的开头都是一起可怕的谋杀 And every good family film starts with a vicious murder.
《小鹿斑比》 《狮子王》 《电锯惊魂7》 Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.
我的上帝啊 那家伙着火了 Holy shit pickles! That guy's on fire.
那可不是电脑特效 伙计们 他真的着火了 That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire.
你知道我是靠抓坏蛋挣钱的吧 Yeah. You know I get paid to take out bad guys, right?
但是这家伙 But this guy?
他是最坏的坏蛋之一 He was one of the worst of 'em.
赶紧把门打开 Hurry up and open this fucking door,
一起杀掉这混蛋 and let's kill this motherfucker!
真恶心 Ugh. So gross.
安全屋 认真的吗 A panic room? Really?
你能出来吗 Can you come out?
我真的得走了 今天是我的纪念日 I really have to go. It's my anniversary.
我总能听到人们一遍又一遍地说 Over and over, I hear people say,
"我就是没有足够的自信" "I just don't have enough confidence."
听着 自信不是你拥有的东西 Listen, confidence is not something you have.
而是你创造的东西 It's something you create.
你随时都能创造出来 And you can create it at any moment in time.
自信的感觉只不过 A sense of confidence is nothing
是你内心中的力量 but a sense of power within yourself...
让你能够确信你能获得成功 a sense of certainty that you can pull something off.
他妈的快开车 Start the fucking car!
都朋德 Dopinder!
他妈的快开车 Start the fucking car!
打死那混蛋 打他 Shoot that motherfucker! Shoot him!
我吓得拉裤子了 Oh, I shit my pants.
其实可能是我拉的 Actually, that may have been me.
任务完成了吗 Oh, mission accomplished?
算是用小布什的方式解决了吧 Oh, in a George W. Sort of way.
乔治·沃克·布什 美国第43任总统
这混蛋没法永远待在安全室里 Fucker can't stay in a panic room forever.
你简直过着梦想中的生活 死先生 Oh, you're living the dreams, DP.
这一路都太顺利了 都朋德 It has been quite the run, Dopinder,
谁能想到呢 and who'da thought?
人们提到我的时候就跟提到耶稣似的 Now I'm talked about in the same sentence as Jesus.
《耶稣受难记》第一 接下来就是我 Passion of the Christ, then me.
R级电影中北美票房最高的是《耶稣受难记》 全球票房最高的是《死侍》
至少在国内 At least domestically.
在国外就完全碾压了 We beat them overseas,
毕竟他们根本没有宗教这种东西 where there's no such thing as religion.
我也想过上梦想中的生活 侍侍 I do want to live the dreams, Pool Boy.
开出租车并没有看上去那么性感 Taxiing is not as sexy as it looks.
-我想填充我的... -口袋吗 - I want to fill my... - Pockets?
你想来点什么 来点可卡因吗 What's your poison? A little, uh, cokey cokey?
不上网点播 Can't maintain an erection
就会早泄吗 without buying shoes online?
这个我可从来没体验过 I've never experienced that last one.
跟我说说 呆子 Talk to me, Goose.
我想说的是"灵魂" 我想填充我的灵魂 I was going to say "Soul". I want to fill my soul.
我想有所归属 就像你 死先生 I want to belong to something, like you, Pool, sir.
都朋德 Dopinder...
你总是能给我带来惊喜 You never cease to surprise me.
你的内心是那么的深邃 You know, the depth of your heart is extraordinary.
我们都需要归属感 We all need a sense of belonging.
我们都需要真切的家的感受 We all need a genuine sense of home.
-在世界上有一个地方 -我想成为一名职业杀手 - A place in this world. - I want to become a contract killer.
不好意思 你说什么 I'm sorry. What did you say?
你还记得我绑架了班度 Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu
然后极度暴力地威胁他吗 and threatened him with great violence?
你差不多算是把他弄死了 You kind of killed him.
你记得《夜访吸血鬼》这部电影吗 And then remember the movie Interview with the Vampire?
不想记得 Don't want to.
当汤姆·克鲁斯给10岁的克尔斯滕·邓斯特 When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood
第一次喂血时 for the first time...
她看着他光滑 and she looked up at his smooth,
帅气的脸庞说... handsome face and said...
"我还要" "I want some more."
死先生 把我想象成10岁的克尔斯滕·邓斯特吧 Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
我永远不会想不到这一幕了 I'll never not picture that.
但是我真希望我们能尽快 But I can't wait to never speak of this,
永远不要提这件事了 as soon as possible.
我们到了 We're here.
都朋德 还是我 Dopinder, it's me again.
听着 正常人可能会劝你 Look, a saner man might discourage you
不要加入危险的雇佣兵行业 from joining the deadly merc business...
毕竟看看你的小胸膛 what, with your concave chest
和纸板似的小胳膊 and your paper towel tube arms.
但是你是一只雄鹰 But you're an eagle...
该死 雄鹰就该翱翔 and goddamn it, an eagle's gotta soar.
你要把握住这些梦想 You gotta grab those dreams,
抓住梦想的丁丁尖 grab those dreams by the dick tip...
让它喷涌 and make it rain!
我不懂你的意思 I don't know what that means.
我也不懂 Me neither.
那么我们... I'm gonna see you...
办公室见 at the office.
飞向蓝天 In the sky.
你就是我的汤姆·克鲁斯 You're my Tom Cruise!
你就是我的克里斯滕·邓斯特 And you're my Kristen Dunst!
克里斯滕 克尔斯滕 Kristen? Kirsten?
抱歉 我迟到了 Sorry I'm late.
有一群 There was a bunch of
残疾儿童被困在了树上... handicapable children stuck in a tree...
我得... and I had to...
你没猜错 我其实在和一个斗篷坏蛋战斗 You're right. I was fighting a caped badass.
但是后来我们发现他的妈妈也叫玛莎 But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too.
《蝙蝠侠大战超人》
-不行 -被你抓到了 - No. - You got me.
我其实在把世界上所有的面糊搅在一起 I was rounding up all the gluten in the world
然后射向太空 and launching it into space...
让它们再也没法伤害我们了 where it can't not hurt us ever again.
再编像一点 Try again.
腹泻 Diarrhea?
总得等我把这身衣服脱下来才能肯定... We can't be sure until I get this suit off...
不过所有迹象都表明的确如此 but, uh, all signs point to yes.
堵车 Traffic?
像你很想我一样地亲我 红红 Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
赶紧过来 Well, come here.
我去洗个澡脱掉这身衣服 I'm gonna shower and get out of this suit.
你不想看看你的惊喜吗 Don't you want your surprise?
我看上去像一个烧伤病人吗 Do I look like a patient burn victim?
我也有给你的 I got one for you, too.
周年快乐 宝贝 Happy anniversary, baby.
打开打开打开 Open, open, open.
滑雪球币 Skee-Ball token.
我们第一次约会 Our first date.
没错 Yup.
如假包换 高端铅币 That's genuine, high-grade lead.
我会永远保存的 I'll keep it forever.
谢谢你 宝贝 Thank you, baby.
-打开你的 -好吧 好吧 - Open yours. - All right, all right.
这真是我见过最美的... That's just the most beautiful thing that I've...
我不知道这是什么玩意 I don't know what this is.
我的IUD[宫内节育器] My IUD.
炸弹吗 A bomb?
不是 笨蛋 这是我的节育装置 No, dick for brains. My birth control device.
什么 你是说你的... What, you mean that your...
造娃工厂正式开业 Baby factory's open for business.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
我的天啊 我要个男孩 Oh, my God! I want a boy!
或者女孩 绝对是这俩的其中一个 Or a little girl! Definitely one or the other!
我还要我们的孩子只有一个名 Oh! And I want our kid to have only one name.
比如雪儿或陶德 Like Cher or Todd.
你得先给我种一颗种子 牛仔小子 You gotta pump a baby in me first, cowboy.
当然了 Yes, I do.
我们先看点小电影 再让床尝尝我们的厉害 Let's watch some porn and show that bed who's boss.
走吧 Let's do that.
犹太爱情音乐电影《燕特尔》
*爸爸 你能听到我吗* *Papa...Can you hear me*
*爸爸 你能看到我吗* *Papa, can you see me*
你觉得这首歌耳熟吗 Does this song sound familiar to you?
梅 May.
男孩就叫康纳尔 女孩就叫梅 Connor, if it's a boy. May, if it's a girl.
真奇怪 So weird.
其实本来家庭对我来说算是脏话 Family was always an F-word to me.
我的废物老爹抛弃了我们 My pile of shit father took off and bailed.
我可能没法成为陶德的 I mean, it's not like I have a lot of strong role models
道德榜样 to draw off of for Todd.
看着我 Hey. Look at me.
你不是你父亲 You are not your father.
再说了 Besides...
我绝对不会给我们的孩子起名叫陶德 I will never, ever let our child be named Todd.
但是事实上 But here's the thing,
事情不都会是那种走向吗 isn't that how it always works?
就像在《星球大战》里 Like in Star Wars,
男性总会变得跟自己父亲一样 men are destined to become their father...
然后再和自己的姐妹自愿发生性关系 and then have consensual sex with their sister?
我觉得你应该漏掉了很大一部分重要剧情 I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie.
不 卢克肯定上了她 No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.
宝贝 那是《帝国反击战》里的 Baby, that's Empire.
最重要的是 孩子们 The point is, kids...
给我们一个机会变得更好 they give us a chance to be better than we are.
变得比我们以前更好 Better than we used to be.
你比我看上去聪明多了 You're a lot smarter than I look.
我去做甜点 I'm gonna go make dessert.
你先绑上束带 我们来造一个超级宝宝 You get the strap-on. Let's make a super baby.
宝宝肯定不是那样就能造的 不过我们能试试 Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try.
克里斯托呢 克开头的 What about Krystal? But with a "K"?
太像脱衣舞男了 It's too stripper-y.
凯开头的凯文 Kevin with a "K"!
不行 也太像脱衣舞男了 No, too stripper-y, too.
厄尔 Uh, Earl!
如果我们给他起名叫厄尔 He's gonna go straight to jail
他会直接进监狱 if we name him Earl.
布鲁斯呢 What about Bruce?
不 No.
-趴下 -怎么了 - Get down. - What?
宝贝 宝贝 Baby? Baby?
我没事 I'm okay.
谢天谢地我没用上那个奶油干酪磨碎机 Thank God I didn't have to use the cream cheese spreader.
不要 Please.
不要 不要 Please. Please.
宝贝 对不起 Baby, I'm so sorry.
不 No!
出品 等一下
制片 你刚杀了她吗
监制 我操
美术设计 她简直是大家最爱的角色
剪辑 我回来了 祝你们好运 混蛋
主演 显然雷诺兹不想与人共享聚光灯
编剧 都怪编剧 去你妈的"真英雄"
摄影 真的会拍摄的家伙
导演 在《疾速追杀》里杀死那只狗的家伙之一
*爸爸 你能听到我吗* *Papa, can you hear me*
只有我觉得 Is it just me, or does
《冰雪奇缘》的插曲《你想堆雪人吗》 Do You Want to Build a Snowman? From Frozen...
听起来特别像 sound suspiciously like
《燕特尔》里的《爸爸 你能听到我吗》 Papa, Can You Hear Me? From Yentl?
*爸爸 你能听到我吗* *Papa, can you hear me*
而根本没有人注意到 And nobody fucking realizes it.
韦德 你该回家了 Wade, you gotta go home.
你已经在这里坐了三天 You've been sitting here for three days, okay?
你闻起来像湿热雨季扔在外面的酸菜 You smell like sauerkraut left in the warm rain.
泡在新鲜热尿中的垃圾 Like wet garbage in hot urine.
你闻起来像一只吃饱了用过的猫砂... You smell like a dog ate kitty litter...
然后在客厅里一路放屁的狗 and then farted his way out of the living room.
就像拉什·林博 I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's
拍完《鲨鱼周》后坐的沙发垫 couch cushions after Shark Week.
我爱《冰雪奇缘》 I love Frozen.
我爱她 我爱她就像海洋爱着水 I loved her. I loved her like an ocean loves water.
海洋就是水 An ocean is water.
更重要的是 我喜欢她 我真的很喜欢她 More importantly, I liked her. I really liked her, you know?
乔治·迈克尔唱得对 George Michael was right.
威猛先生乐队 《无心快语》
我再也不会跳舞了 操 I'm never gonna dance again. Fuck!
他也死了 He's dead, too.
至少我们还有鲍威 At least we still have Bowie.
死先生 大卫·鲍威... Oh, Mr. Pool. David Bowie is...
还活着 still with us.
卒于2016年
没错 我们还有鲍威 We do. We'll always have Bowie.
对不起 I'm sorry.
一杯接一杯 Shot after shot,
这也改变不了事实 我觉得你就是... it's not gonna change the fact that I think you're...
你在尿尿吗 你正在撒尿吗 Are you pissing? Are you urinating right now?
你在做出你尿尿时的表情 You're making the face that you make when you urinate.
-他在尿尿吗 -我来 - Is he pissing? - I'm on it!
很好 都朋德 There you go, Dopinder.
如果你想成为职业杀手 If you want to be a contract killer...
耍枪之前 必须要先耍拖吧 you gotta handle a mop before you handle a gun.
只不过我并不明白 Although I don't quite understand
他们有什么相似的地方 how they are at all similar.
因为我都能把它们插进你的屁眼里杀了你 'Cause I could shove either one up your ass and kill you.
滚吧 Now, leave me.
我懂了 I get it.
回家吧 韦德 Go home, Wade.
我没有家了 黄鼠狼 你懂的 我... I don't have a home, Weas, you know. I got a...
我没事 我没事 Okay, I'm fine. I'm fine.
你知道"没事"是什么意思吗 韦德 You know what "Fine" stands for, Wade?
操蛋 混乱 贫穷和崩溃 Fucked up, insecure, needy, and emotional.
根据... According to the...
-库布勒-罗斯 -没错 - Kübler-Ross. - Yeah.
伊丽莎白·库布勒-罗斯理论 描述了人对待哀伤与灾难过程中的五个独立阶段
根据库布勒-罗斯理论 According to the Kübler-Ross model...
否认 愤怒 讨价还价 抑郁 接受
否认只是五个阶段中其中一个 denial is just one of the five stages of grief.
瑞安·雷诺兹是本片编剧之一
天啊 巴克 Jesus Christ, Buck!
还是别给你安排台词了 No more speaking lines for you.
伙计 伙计 Hey, bud. Bud.
有火柴吗 Got a match?
火柴 Match?
有 我手上就有 Yes, I have one right here.
别动 抢劫 Don't make a move. This is a stick-up.
-什么 -听到了吗 - What? - You heard me.
韦德的海洛因
先生 先生 放下枪 Mister, Mister, put down that gun.
闭嘴 快点 要钱要命 Shut up. Now, come on. Your money or your life?
-伙计 -我说"要钱要命" - Look, bud. - I said, "Your money or your life."
"我在考虑" "I'm thinking it over!"
我操 Motherfuck!
操 Fuck!
你来这里干什么 The hell you doin' here?
你不知道怎么敲门吗 Don't you know how to knock?
我以为通过你的耳朵 I thought you saw me...
看到我了 with your ears.
算你走运 我没有一枪... You're lucky I didn't shoot you in the...
打到墙上 The wall?
打到冰箱上 我太痛苦了 The refrigerator? I'm in so much pain.
我听说了 亲爱的 I heard the news, sweetie.
我很遗憾 真的 I'm very sorry. I am.
我该怎么做 艾尔 What am I gonna do, Al?
可能要做些很可怕的事 Probably something terrible.
以你的风格 Knowing you.
都是我的错 It was my fault.
都是我干的 I fucking did this.
我只想抓住她 看着她 And all I wanna do is grab her and see her
告诉她我很抱歉 而我做不到 and tell her that I'm sorry, and I can't.
她死了 She's gone.
亲爱的 你能大声点吗 Sweetheart, can you speak up?
你嘴里含着屌 It's a little hard to hear you
说话听不到 with that pity dick in your mouth.
听着 亲爱的 你得好好活下去 Now, look, sugar. You need to just keep living.
谢谢你 Thank you...
马修·麦康纳 你说的话太有用了 Matthew McConaughey, your words are a treasure.
马修·麦康纳创立了一个叫"好好活下去"的慈善基金
聆听你的痛苦 Listen to the pain.
既能让你知往事 也能让你明来者 It's both history teacher and fortune teller.
痛苦教会了我们怎么做自己 韦德 Pain teaches us who we are, Wade.
有时候因为太痛苦 感觉像是要死去了一般 Sometimes, it's so bad, we feel like we're dying.
但是没有经历过死亡怎么能算活过呢 对吧 But we can't really live till we've died a little, can we?
韦德 Wade?
-韦德 -我在呢 艾尔西亚 - Wade? - I'm right here, Althea.
这是我听过 And that is the most beautiful thing
最动人的话 I've ever heard.
你说得没错 And you're absolutely right.
我要做一些很可怕的事 I'm about to do something terrible.
北极熊 我们的名字是维克多和汉克
他们很珍贵吧 Precious, aren't they?
你是超级英雄吗 Are you a superhero?
回答非常正确 亲爱的 Fucking A, sweetie.
你叫什么 What's your name?
美味裤裤队长 Captain Delicious Pants.
美味裤裤队长是谁 Who's Captain Delicious Pants?
不要给北极熊喂食
疏通剂
真不敢相信他还活着 I can't believe he's still alive.
真不敢相信你穿着这一身就出门了 I can't believe you left the house in that shirt.
肯定有办法能死亡 There's gotta be some way to die.
我只是需要更努力地死亡 I just need to die harder.
福克斯影业 Trademark Fox.
赶上进度了吧 Y'all caught up now?
咱俩一样疯狂 Your crazy matches my crazy.
我绝对不会给我们的孩子起名叫陶德 I will never, ever let our child be named Todd.
-滑雪球币 -你比我看上去聪明多了 - Skee-Ball token. - You're a lot smarter than I look.
为什么我们在一起这么幸福 About why we're so good together.
我爱你 韦德·威尔逊 I love you, Wade Wilson.
妮莎 Ness?
妮莎 Ness.
妮莎 有点不对劲 我没法靠近你 Ness, there's something here. I can't get to you.
你的心没放对地方 Your heart's not in the right place.
等等 什么 Wait, hold on. What?
我爱你 韦德·威尔逊
你的心没放对地方 Your heart's not in the right place.
等等 什么叫我的心没放对地方 你... Wait. What do you mean my heart's not in the right place? What does it...
我真的为你的遭遇感到遗憾 韦德 I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Wade.
你已经碎[心碎]了 You're broken.
天啊 我认得这声音 Oh, God. I know that voice.
艾瑟斯大宅 变异康复机构 布罗德斯通孤儿院
罗素 Well, Russell.
我听说你很擅长开锁 I hear you're handy at picking locks.
这里不需要这项技能 There will be no need for that here.
我们的门上没有锁 我们的窗户上没有栏杆 There's no locks on our doors, no bars on our windows.
我知道你在想什么 I know what you're thinking.
那些孩子为什么不直接逃跑呢 Why don't the kids just run?
谁会选择留在这种地方 Who would choose to stay in such a place?
你留下 是因为... You stay because...
内心深处 你知道你不适合离开这里 deep down inside, you know you're unfit to leave.
别担心 Don't worry.
我们能 We can fix that.
赐福于那些被我所治愈的邪恶之人 Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand.
"心放对地方" "Heart's in the right place."
"心放对..." 到底是什么意思 "Heart's in the right..." What does that mean?
脱掉面具 韦德 Take your mask off, Wade.
真希望你说的是"裤子" I wish you'd said "Pants".
我们来玩个游戏吧 Let's play a game.
名字叫"阿德里安·布劳迪还是亚当·布罗迪" It's called "Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".
来 闭上眼睛 张开嘴巴 Now, close your eyes and open your mouth.
你在这里不需要耍宝 You don't need to be funny here.
我们必须谈谈 We must talk.
你需要一个新的开始 You need fresh start.
如此耀眼的阳光 Such a glare.
我仿佛正站在盖伊提剧院的舞台上 It's like I'm on stage at the Gaiety.
通过训练 你可以成为一名X战警 With training, you can be X-Man.
你在浪费你自己的时间 闪亮耶稣 You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus.
我不是当X战警的料 I'm not X-Man material.
你真是本年度低调之最 Understatement of the year.
韦德 这是雪绪 Wade, Yukio.
雪绪 这是韦德 Yukio, Wade.
这他妈是什么情况 What in the fuck knuckles is this?
她是我的女朋友 你这个混蛋 She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit.
别这么冲嘛 福克斯新闻播报员 Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends.
我只是很惊讶竟然有人愿意和你交往 I'm just surprised anyone would date you.
特别是《小马宝莉》里的粉红派 Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.
我喜欢这家伙 I like this guy.
再给他个机会 Give him a chance.
看见你这样真好 It's great seeing you like this.
再见 韦德 Bye, Wade!
在我们这里有几条基本规则 Now, some ground rules while under our roof.
"第一条 不准杀人..." "Rule number one. No killing...
"任何人 都不行 不管有多坏" "Anyone ever, no matter how bad.
"第二条 冰箱里的所有东西都要加标签" "Rule two. Label everything in refrigerator."
韦德 Wade?
坐上了X教授的轮椅
-别想追我 -韦德 - Don't try to chase me. - Wade!
我还没做好再次被摸的准备呢 I'm not ready to be touched again.
墙上挂着好多老头的照片 All these old guys on the wall.
谁住在这里 卡莉斯塔·弗洛克哈特吗 Who lives here, Calista Flockhart?
她的丈夫比她大22岁
这些雕像摔下来时已经坏了 Those were already damaged after they fell there!
我到底应该在这里干什么 What am I supposed to do around here, anyway?
坐成一圈 分享我的感受吗 Sit in a share circle, talk about my feelings?
那我到底该怎么做 And how would I do that exactly?
因为 其他人都他妈去哪里了 'Cause where the fuck is everyone?
每次都只有你 It's always just you
还有那个名字奇长无比的负少... and Negasonic Teenage Longest Name Ever...
够了 Enough!
我说了不准摸我 I said no touching!
搞什么 What the fuck?
还以为制片人会给我们点甜头呢 You'd think the studio would throw us a bone.
稍微有点味道的那种 One that doesn't end up in my mouth.
第一部赚的钱 The first movie made more money
比发明裤子的人赚的都多 than the guy who invented pants.
连一位像样点的X战警都请不出来吗 They can't just dust off one of the famous X-Men?
那个背上长着巨大企鹅翅膀的小子呢 How 'bout that putz with the giant pigeon wings?
那翅膀到底是干什么的 What do those do anyway, huh?
能让他离地个几厘米 Carry him three feet off the ground
拿到最近的松饼屑吗 to snatch up the nearest muffin crumb?
不不不 No, no, no, no, no. No!
我根本不是当X战警的料 I am not X-Man material at all.
首先 First off...
我都不是处男 第二... I'm not even a virgin. Second and more...
我就应该 I should have left you
让你继续跟我找到你时一样自怨自艾 in the self-pitying mess I found you in.
但是这是朋友该做的事 在需要时出现 But this is what friends do. They show up!
并不是锦上添花 Not when convenient or easy.
而是雪中送炭 而你总会让雪下得更大 When hard, and you always make it hard.
你很不好 You are unwell.
我带你回来可是冒了很大的险 I'm sticking my neck out bringing you here.
等等 有一个杀害凡妮莎的混蛋跑了 Wait. One of the assholes who killed Vanessa got away.
上帝啊 Oh, Jesus Christ!
我刚刚有一瞬间还以为你要亲我呢 I thought you were gonna kiss me for a second there.
如果你真的要亲 我也是拦不住你的 Please know I wouldn't be able to stop you if you did.
韦德 不管他们是谁... Wade, whoever they are...
我们都要抓住他们 带他们伏法 we track them down and bring them to justice.
是我 It was me.
逃走的那个混蛋是我 I'm the asshole who got away.
我把他们都杀了 除了我 I killed every last one of them, except me.
杀不死我 Couldn't kill me.
我们本来准备组建一个家庭 We were gonna start a family.
我们... We were, uh...
我们本来要成为一家人 We were gonna be a family.
韦德 Wade...
凡妮莎已经死了 她不会回来了 Vanessa is gone. She's not coming back.
这里可能不是你理想中的家庭 This may not be family you want...
但是你需要这个家庭 but it's family you need.
你有一颗善良的心 You have a good heart.
在这里才能让它成长 It belongs here where it can grow.
你说什么 What did you say?
关于我的心 About my heart?
我觉得我来对地方了 I think I'm in the right place.
我来告诉你最大的谎言 I'mma tell you what the big lie is.
厕纸 Toilet paper.
此处马特·达蒙客串
厕纸有什么问题 What's so bad about toilet paper?
能全擦干净 Gets the job done.
真的能全擦干净吗 Does it really get the job done?
好吧 假设你明早醒来 All right. Say you wake up tomorrow morning...
假设 发现你的脸上有一些新鲜的屎 and, hypothetically, find some fresh shit on your face.
你的脸颊上 可能胡子上也有一些 Your cheek, maybe a little bit in the beard.
搞什么 说得我都恶心了 What the hell? I'm about to be fucking sick!
你怎么办 What do you do?
你会去厕所 Do you go to a bathroom
撕下一些干纸巾 and tear off a piece of dry tissue...
在你的胡子上擦两下 and rub it around on your beard a little bit
然后继续开始这一天的生活吗 and then go on, get on with your day?
去教堂 也许去参加晚宴 看电影 Go to church, maybe dinner and a movie,
好像无事发生过 like nothing happened?
你到底要说什么 伙计 Where is this coming from, man?
但其实还是发生了些什么 But something did happen.
你的脸闻上去一股屎味 对吗 Your face smells like shit. Right?
所以其实你会做的是 So what you would do,
拿点肥皂 搞点热水 is you would get some soap, you'd get some hot water...
然后狠狠地擦你的胡子 and you would scrub the fucking shit
洗上个十来遍 out of your beard for 10 straight minutes.
-怎么擦都觉得不够 -你是想 - You could not scrub it enough. - Are you trying to
恶心我吗 make me feel disgusting?
我开始觉得... I'm starting to feel...
厕纸算是很不错的前菜 Toilet paper is a pretty fine appetizer.
但是然后... But, then...
哈吉斯自然呵护湿巾 Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.
这才是主菜 That's your main course.
柔软 湿润 婴儿专用 They're soft, they're moist. They're for babies.
最后再用一张纸巾 Finally, one more pass with toilet paper,
擦掉残余的水分 maybe clear out that excess moisture.
如果你能找到吹风机的话 Maybe treat yourself to a blow and go,
还能给自己做个头发 if you can get you a hair dryer.
只要30秒就行 Just about 30 seconds would do you good.
搞什么 The fuck?
年 Year.
什么 What?
现在是哪一年 What year is it?
这他妈是什么傻逼问题 What kind of dumbass question is that to ask?
我们接下来要参加为期八周的训练 We have 8 weeks of boot camp ahead of us, men.
通过训练 我们能做好应付 That'll get us toned and prepared
各种战斗的准备 for all manner of combat.
这绝对不行 Not working out at all.
胶带 Masking tape.
不是冷却铝制品的好朋友 It is no friend to chilled aluminum.
尼龙搭扣 颜色分类 效率高 Velcro. Color-coded, efficient,
有助于保护环境 environmentally friendly.
他在和谁说话 Who is he talking to?
他为什么穿得像个注册性侵者 And why is he dressed like a registered sex offender?
你们能集中注意力吗 女士们 Can we focus for a moment, ladies?
拜托 我们得谈谈下个月的饮食计划 Please, we need to talk about next month's meal plan.
显然大家都很讨厌酸橘汁腌鱼 Obviously, everyone hated the ceviche.
我看了建议箱 I read the suggestion box.
我还是先打断你吧 I'm gonna stop you right there.
你的演技太拙劣了 I see through this weak act.
也许你能装好人骗过钢力士 You may have fooled Colossus with this nice guy shit...
但你骗不过我 but not me.
态度好一点 Don't be mean.
别多嘴 NTW Back off, NTW.
不不不 让她说 No, no, no. Let her go.
让她说 没关系 Let her go, it's okay.
她有权力进行怀疑 She has a right to be skeptical.
看着我 我就是活靶子 Look at me. I'm an easy target.
历史上来说 You know, historically,
我一直就是恶作剧的代名词 mischief has been my mistress...
所以我明白 但是我更希望认为... so I understand, you know. But I like to think...
你们真的感染了我 that you guys have really rubbed off on me.
我希望认为我也感染了你们 I like to think that I've rubbed off around you, too.
很多 A lot.
很久以来的第一次 And for the first time in a long while...
我喜欢我自己 I like me.
-我接受你的道歉 -我没有道歉 - I accept your apology. - I never apologized.
我在和你的内心对话 I was talking to your heart.
看 你并没有迷失在你自己过往的想法中 See? You're not lost cause you thought.
我很自豪 我就知道你绝对不会让我失望 I'm proud. You're everything I knew you can be.
谢谢你 钢力士 Thank you, Colossus.
我只是想成为这世界上最好的X战警[男人] Just trying to be the world's best X-Man.
抱歉 是X人 Sorry, X-Person.
洗洁精有点不对劲 Something wrong with the soap.
没事 It's fine.
我刚灌满 多按几下 I just filled it. Give it a few more pumps there.
现在 不好意思 Now, if you'll excuse me...
现在正是清灰[兔子]季节 it's dust bunny season...
我要去猎兔子了 and I'm hunting wabbits.
再见 韦德 Bye, Wade!
-操 -操你 - Fuck. - Fuck you.
没人生下来就是完美的 No one is born perfect.
但你们可以努力 But you can be.
我知道你们在做生来就会做的事 I know you're doing what comes naturally.
你们控制不了自己 You can't help yourself.
但你可以努力 But you can.
你们需要努力 控制 It takes work, discipline...
和治疗 and treatment.
你们的能力 Your abilities...
要人类 不要变种人
我知道那有多么诱人 I know how seductive they are.
让你感觉自己有多强大 How powerful they make you feel.
但你必须学会如何利用它们 But you must learn never to use them...
这样它们才不会利用你 so they will never use you.
不要哭 Please don't cry.
我会帮你 I'm going to help.
我会让你每次想要随意使用你的能力时 I'm gonna make you feel what you should feel.
都会感受到 How you need to feel...
你应有的感受 你需要的感受 every time you're tempted to act upon your urges.
吸我变种人屌吧 你这个四眼混蛋 Suck my mutant dick, you four-eyed fuck.
韦德 Wade.
韦德 Wade!
请进 我只是在 Come in! Hey, I was just doing
读一些闲书 a little bit of light reading here...
我们有任务了 We have mission.
那你们要注意安全 Well, you guys be safe out there.
我会为你们祈祷的 I'll be praying for you.
不 我希望你加入我们 No, I want you to join.
不好意思 你说什么 I'm sorry, what?
你都听到了 You heard me.
相信我 这是个糟糕的主意 Trust me, that's a terrible idea.
我根本没准备好 I'm really not ready.
-你准备好了 -我没有 - You are ready. - I'm not.
五分钟后上X战机 Be at the X-Jet in five.
我能做30分钟 I can do thirty.
-现在就去 -我现在也能做 - Now. - I can do now.
最终报价 Final offer.
变种人事故
艾琳·梅利韦瑟 威特新闻 Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.
正在从变异康复机构 Live here at a breaking news situation
艾瑟斯大宅发回突发新闻现场报道 at the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation.
一名变异人男孩引发了一起事故 A mutant boy is appearing to have some sort of an incident...
-警察正在我身后 -离我远一点 - with police here behind me. - Get away from me!
两辆警察被其掀翻 There are two police vehicles that are overturned.
-到处都起火了 -滚开 后退 - There are open fires. - Fuck off! Stay back!
现场一片混乱 A scene of absolute chaos here.
我要烧死你们 给我后退 I'll burn you! You stay back!
给我后退 Get away from me!
你们想死吗 You wanna fucking die?
X战警到达了现场... And it appears as if the X-Men are arriving...
-散开 -好像还带了一名实习生 - Scatter! - ...with what appears to be a trainee.
所有人冷静点 专家来了 我... Everyone, calm down! The pros are here. I...
我们是X战警 We're the X-Men!
X战警的创作初衷确实和倡导种族平权有关
60年代种族歧视的过时隐喻 A dated metaphor for racism in the '60s.
所以 敬你 So, respect.
稍息 警官 At ease, Officer.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我的职责 My job!
是你说我准备好了 You're the one who said I was ready,
我明明对你进行了反驳 and I frankly disagreed with you.
但我们还是来了 力图摒弃我们的嫌隙 But here we are, trying to overcome our differences.
就像碧昂丝说过 "拜托... Like Beyonce says, "Please...
"拜托 不要再骗我了" "Please, stop cheating on me."
这已经是第五起事故了 This is the fifth incident.
这孩子必须得进冰盒 不能待在这里 This kid needs to be in the Ice Box, not here.
罗素归我们照看 Russell belongs in our care.
不能进监狱 我保证... Not in prison. I assure you...
一切都在我们掌控之中 we have everything under control.
后退 我要烧死你们 Stay back! I'll burn you!
我好像看不出 Not getting a real
是在"掌控之中"啊 马蒂 "Under control" vibe here, Marty.
-你是叫格伦吧 -丹尼尔 - It is Glen, isn't it? - Daniel.
回答我的问题就行 米格尔 I'll ask the questions, Miguel.
让我和这孩子谈谈 Let me talk to the kid.
你和你这双奇怪的性感秘密双唇待在这里 You stay here with your weird, secret sex lips.
-你想死吗 -这孩子这么可爱 - You wanna die? - This kid's adorable.
真不知道我为什么还带了空包弹 I don't know why I packed the hollow points.
我要烧掉你们的蛋蛋 I'll burn your balls off!
第一天 我好紧张 First day. I'm so nervous!
你刚刚说"空包弹"吗 Did you just say "Hollow points"?
没错 也许应该带一把超级水枪 Yeah, probably should've brought a Super Soaker.
你好 Hi, there!
后退 不然我就弄死那个贾斯汀·比伯 Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
贾斯汀·比伯 他叫你贾斯汀·比伯 Justin Bieber. He called you Justin Bieber.
等等 等等 等等 Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
我们还是先别来这一套不知道什么玩意 Okay, let's not do whatever that is.
行吗 我们先谈谈 Okay? Let's just talk!
你叫罗斯 对吧 It's Russell, right?
-火拳 -火拳 - Firefist. - Firefist.
这名号不错 烧到哪里 Ooh, that's a great name. Where does it burn?
就烧拳头 还是烧到手肘 Just the fist, or all the way up to the elbow?
绝对是烧到手肘 Definitely all the way up to the elbow.
乖乖跟我们走 不然会惹上麻烦 Come quietly, or there will be trouble.
-这句话是《机械战警》的 -是《机械战警》的 - You stole that from Robocop! - That's from Robocop!
后退 Just stand down!
你真让我丢脸 听着 火... 天啊 You're embarrassing me. Look, Fire... Oh, my God!
我说不出口 我真的很抱歉 I can't say it! I'm so sorry!
该死 真他妈够了 Oh, shit! That fucking does it!
把手放在你的膝盖后 Put your hands behind your knees
把头蹲下来 马上 and get down on your head! Now!
韦德 第一条规则是什么 Wade! What was first rule?
给冰箱里的所有东西贴上标签 Label everything in the refrigerator!
-不要擅自升序 -规则就是用来破坏的 - Do not escalate! - Rules are meant to be broken!
那跟设定规则的本意恰好背道而驰 That's the exact opposite of what they're meant for!
操 好吧 Fuck! Fine!
那我从头开始 I'll start from the beginning.
我叫死侍 我是一名X战警 My name is Deadpool, and I'm an X-Man.
-实习生 -闭嘴 - Trainee! - Shut it!
听着 我明白 Look, I get it.
你很害怕 All right, you're scared.
孤单 Alone.
你没有家庭 You got no family.
我也没有家庭 I didn't have a family, either.
你住在这个垃圾堆 你猜怎么着 You live in this dump. Guess what?
我以前也住在这种狗洞 I used to live in a shithole just like it.
但是你知道吗 But you know something?
一个智慧的女人曾跟我说过 A wise woman once said to me...
"大声点" "Speak up."
"你嘴里含着屌 说话听不到" "I can't hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."
太过了吗 我扯太远了 Too much? I went too far.
真兴奋 That was effervescent.
好好读书 孩子 Stay in school, kid.
不读也行 我就没读 Or don't. I didn't.
而我现在是一名X战警 And I'm an X-Man.
实习生 Trainee.
操 Fuck it!
超级英雄式落地 Superhero landing coming up!
瑞安·雷诺兹[签名] 金刚狼燕麦片
第一部中吐槽"那样真的对膝盖很不好"
操操操 Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!
这种落地法真是太不现实了 That is so not practical.
我也许能适应这种X战警的方式 I could get used to this X-Man shit.
实习生 Trainee!
给他上能力束缚带 快 Get a power restraint on him. Now!
冷静点 小松鼠 结束了 抓到你了 Calm down, squirt. It's over. We got ya.
那是用来干什么的 What's that do?
能力衰减项圈 Power-dampening collar.
抑制所有变种人能力 Shuts down all mutant abilities.
摘不下来 除非用手榴弹 You can't get it off. Unless you've got a grenade.
本来一开始就可以用这个 Could've used one of those in the first act.
谢谢你 Thank you!
真是太令人激动了 That was absolutely thrilling.
真正的英雄主义 True heroism in action.
我们欠你的 We are in your debt.
接下来就交给我们吧 We can take it from here.
带我去冰盒吧 求你了 Take me to the Ice Box, please!
任何地方都比这里好 Anywhere's better than here.
相信我 孩子 Believe me, son,
你绝对不想去冰盒的 you do not wanna go to the Ice Box.
跟那儿对比 希特勒的肛门都能算旅游胜地 That place makes Hitler's anus look like Waikiki.
先带你进去吧 年轻人 Let's get you inside, young man.
不 等一下 等一下 No, wait, wait. Wait.
你们待着别动 You guys stay there.
那些人伤害你了吗 Those guys hurt you?
谁 Who?
特朗普女婿
那个秃头 还是贾罗德·库辛那 Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?
两个都是 Both of 'em?
去他妈的 Oh, fuck it.
四五个瞬间 Four or five moments!
什么 I'm sorry?
四五个瞬间 Four or five moments!
做英雄只需要这点时间 That's all it takes to be a hero.
人们以为你醒来就是英雄样 People think you wake up a hero...
刷牙就是英雄样 brush your teeth a hero...
手淫到洗洁精盒里就是英雄样 ejaculate into a soap dispenser a hero.
但是不 做英雄只要几分钟 But, no, being a hero takes only a few moments!
几分钟 A few moments...
做别人不愿意做的脏活 doing the ugly stuff no one else will do.
不 No!
后退 不要开火 Stand down! Hold your fire!
-韦德 你做了什么 -钢力士 不要 - Wade, what did you do? - Colossus, no!
你说得对 韦德 你不是当X战警的料 You were right, Wade. You are not X-Men material.
不是吧 闪亮甘地 No shit, Shiny Gandhi!
你怎么看出来的 What was your first clue?
透过那混蛋脸上的穿过去的弹孔吗 The hollow point through that fuckhead's face?
那孩子遭到虐待了 That kid was abused!
-你看得出来 永远看得出来 -我们有规矩 - You can tell, you can always tell! - We have rules!
你不是法官 陪审团或行刑者 You are not judge, jury or executioner!
去你的规则 我为正确的事而战 Fuck your rules! I fight for what's right!
有时候就得用脏的 And sometimes you gotta fight dirty!
你最后一次让我失望了 韦德 You let me down for the last time, Wade.
把这些人关起来 Okay, get these guys in the pod.
带他们去冰盒 Take them to the Ice Box.
宝贝 Hey, baby!
不知道我会加入什么帮派 I wonder what gang I'll be in.
有没有分院帽之类的东西 Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
我一直觉得我自己更适合进东海岸赫奇帕奇学院 I've always seen myself as more of an East Coast Hufflepuff.
我在爱彼迎上预定时犯了一个巨大的错误 I've made a critical error on my Airbnb reservation.
网站上看起来明明不是这样的 This is not what the website looked like at all.
不过我很喜欢这装修风格 I love the decor though.
我真没想到绝望真的是一种颜色 I had no idea hopeless was a color.
左转 蠢蛋 Hard left, douchebag.
你先进 Please, after you.
又是个街头烦人的小子 Another disgusting minority off the streets.
今晚能睡个好觉了 We'll sleep well tonight.
我们去吃个甜甜圈吧 Let's get a bagel.
晚安 烦人的家伙 Nighty-night, you annoying prick!
你完全没了你的超能力 You're a long way from your superpowers.
就是个小癌症 Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.
别担心 早就得了 Not to worry, we're old friends.
我曾经很想做超级英雄 I wanted to be a superhero.
一直想要一套真正的超级英雄战服 Always wanted a real super suit.
然后发生了什么 What happened?
你什么时候见过超胖的超级英雄 When was the last time you saw a plus-sized superhero?
从来没见过 Never.
行业歧视 The industry discriminates.
去他们妈的超级英雄 Fuck superheroes.
最让我生气的是 The thing that pisses me off the most...
我从来没有为自己站出来过 I never stood up for myself in there.
我这一辈子 My whole life.
我一直在等待别人来拯救我 I've been waiting for someone to come and save me.
没有人为了我做出什么牺牲 Nobody's gonna sacrifice anything for me.
我得开始自己照顾自己 I gotta start taking care of myself.
我现在有任务了 I have a mission now.
等我出去 要做的第一件事就是... The first thing I wanna do when I get out of here...
活活烧死那个校长 burn the headmaster alive...
然后跟他的尸体残骸拍一张自拍 and then take a selfie with his smoldering corpse.
这是我在《圣经》中最喜欢的部分 That's, like, my favorite part of the Bible.
我身上没有袜子玩偶 I don't have a sock puppet on me...
但是他对你做了什么 but what did he do to you?
他尝了尝彩虹吗[鸡奸] Did he taste the rainbow?
我应该小声说的 但那样彩虹糖就会告我们 I'd whisper it, but Skittles would sue us.
那混蛋恨变种人 Fucker hates mutants.
他想通过折磨我们 毁灭我们的基因 He tried to beat the genes out of us.
没有比相信"祈祷能消灭同性恋"更可怕的人了 Nothing worse than a "Pray the gay away" Type guy.
该死的混蛋 Sick piece of shit.
明天 我们要找到这里块头最大的家伙 Tomorrow, we'll find the biggest guy in here...
然后让他变成我们的人 and we'll make him our bitch!
怎么回事 What was that?
那就是这里块头最大的家伙 That is the biggest guy in here.
最高安全级别区域
冰盒有个传说 Fun fact about the Ice Box...
尽管从来没有人亲眼目睹过 though no one's ever seen it,
他们在地下室关了一个大怪兽 they keep a monster in the basement.
埋下了一个巨大又呼之欲出的伏笔 Right next to a huge, steaming bowl of foreshadowing.
听着 Look.
我没法保护你 I can't protect you.
只要戴着这个项圈 With this collar on,
我的超能力就只有脱缰的癌症 my superpower is just unbridled cancer.
给我一把弓和箭 我基本就是鹰眼了 Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically Hawkeye.
不好意思 Now, if you'll excuse me...
我还要慢慢长肿瘤 凡妮莎还在等我 I've got tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits.
我要给我们做个称手的家伙 I'll start by making us a shank.
-行吧 -我偷了警卫的笔 - Good listening. - I stole that guard's pen...
藏在了监狱传统储物处 and stashed it in the old prison wallet,
如果你听得懂的话 if you know what I'm saying.
我真希望我听不懂你说的话 I really hope I don't know what you're saying.
我知道就在里面 就是得拿出来 I know it's in there, I just need to get it out.
上帝啊 Oh, Jesus Christ.
我可以听到你在里面翻找的声音 I can hear you rummaging around in there.
他们会提供洗耳朵的洗液吗 Do they make Purell for your ears?
现在为你播报之前那则新闻的后续 And to update you on the story reported earlier,
在变种人康复机构 after a lengthy standoff
艾瑟斯之家外进行长时间的僵持之后 outside the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation...
两名变种人被捕 two mutants were arrested
并被送往冰盒 and transported to the Ice Box...
进入修复模式 Entering repair mode.
多辆警车被毁 ...several police cars were destroyed
X战警也到场恢复秩序 and the X-Men were called in to restore order.
七号监狱和九号监狱 Cells seven and nine
现向医疗人员开放 now off-limits for medical personnel.
七号监狱和九号监狱 Cells seven and nine
现向医疗人员开放 now off-limits for medical personnel.
别那么做 Don't do that.
什么 你为什么要冲我眨眼 What? Why are you winking at me?
我罩着你 I got your back.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你病了 我要保护你 You're sick, I gotta protect you.
别来烦我 孩子 Just leave me alone, kid.
太好了 Oh, great.
你们好 新来的 Well, hello there, new fish.
见到几张新面孔可真不错 It's nice to see some fresh faces around here.
我拍过几张封面照 I've done some light catalog work...
但是做模特其实只是进军演艺界的跳板 but, really, modeling is just a stepping stone to acting.
我是在和他说话 I was talking to him.
我们见过吗 我记不得你的小胡子了 Have we met? I can't place your mustache.
布莱克[黑]·汤姆·卡西迪 Black Tom Cassidy.
怀特[白]·韦德·威尔逊 White Wade Wilson.
你的超能力是什么 文化掠夺吗 What's your superpower? Cultural appropriation?
这里都传你是个最难搞定的家伙 You're supposed to be the toughest cunt in here.
我倒是觉得看起来不像啊 You don't look like much to me.
号子的首要准则 混蛋 First rule of the yard, fuckface...
找到块头最大的家伙 把他变成... find the biggest guy and make him your...
第二大的 Second biggest guy.
我现在可不想染上肝炎 The last thing I need is more hepatitis.
这也太滑了 这桌子要擦一下 Oh, it's slippery, too. This table needs a wipe down!
能不能把这桌子擦一下 Can we get a wipe down on the table?
孩子 我觉得你站错边了 Kid, I think you picked the wrong side.
不 我没有 他是我的朋友 No, I didn't! He's my friend!
闭嘴 我们不是朋友 Zip it. We're not friends.
你要被我暴揍了 You're about to get dick-slapped.
我真是太爽了 你就... I had so much fun! You were like...
我就说"坐下 混蛋" And I was like, "Take a seat, shit dick."
让我安详地去吧 Just let me die in peace.
我们是完美的团队 We make a great team!
天啊 我们不是团队 Oh, God! We're not a team.
你之前为什么那么说 我们是朋友 搭档 Why'd you say that back there? We're friends, partners.
我们不是搭档 或朋友 We're not partners or friends.
结局不会是我们奔向落日 This doesn't end with us riding into the sunset.
而是我死于癌症 It ends with me dying of cancer...
你赢下了冰盒最柔软嘴巴奖 and you winning the Ice Box award for softest mouth.
全世界我只在乎一个人 There's only one person in this world that I care about,
而她死了 and she's gone.
你想活下来吗 You wanna survive?
别再想着搞定块头最大的家伙了... Stop trying to shank the biggest guys in here...
跟他们做朋友 and make friends with them.
找个人做朋友 Make friends with someone.
除我之外的任何人 Anyone but me.
布莱克·蒂姆也行 Maybe even Black Tim.
还是布莱克·伊万 我也不知道 Black Evan, I don't know.
我只记得他是非裔的 All I remember is he was African-American.
最高安全级别区域
系统故障 System malfunctioning.
7号 12号 14号 27号监狱 Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
回到牢房里 你们这些肮脏的变种人 回去 Back in your cells, you filthy mutants! Get in there!
1号 3号 7号 8号监狱 Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
搜索中 Searching.
定位4号监狱 Cell 04 located.
已找到 韦德·威尔逊 罗素·柯林斯
门打不开 Door won't open!
给我跪下 On your fucking knees!
那是我们的监狱 That was our cell.
我怎么惹了一个 What did I do to piss off a grumpy old fucker
冬兵胳膊的家伙 with a Winter Soldier arm?
离我远一点 孩子 Get away from me, kid!
听我说 快跑 Listen to me! Go!
你好 罗素 Hello, Russell.
我不讨价还价
你是谁 Who are you?
我是蝙蝠侠 I'm Batman.
真是电力十足 Oh. That's got some zip.
别难过 我自己都弄不死我自己 Don't feel bad. Even I can't kill me.
快说 Talk!
什么样的孬种会想杀死一个14岁的孩子 What kind of spineless shit stick tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?
你最好还是赶紧开口 You might wanna start talking!
因为我以前可是经常在这种时候开枪的 'Cause I got a long history of firing at times like this!
我叫电索 The name's Cable.
我来自未来 别插手 I'm from the future. Just walk away.
你来自未来 So, you're from the future.
那我有三个问题 I have three questions then.
一 回响贝斯还流行吗 One, is dubstep still a thing?
二 那时候还有家酿酒吗 Two, do people still homebrew?
三 都朋德找到真爱了吗 And three, does Dopinder ever find love?
小娘们才玩回响贝斯 Dubstep's for pussies.
你好黑暗 You're so dark!
你确定你不是从DC宇宙过来的吗 Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?
我爱回响贝斯 I love dubstep!
那是个腰包吗 Is that a fanny pack?
我1990年后就没见过这玩意了 I used to have one of those in 1990-never.
这可以用来纪念你 Something to remember you by.
还给我 我去哪儿都会带着这枚硬币 Give me that back! That goes with me everywhere.
就像你关于腰包的记忆一样 Like the memory of your fucking fanny pack!
你为什么要保护那孩子 Why are you protecting the kid?
我才不在乎他 I don't give a fuck about him...
儿童绘本
以及他的《你是我的妈妈吗》系列 and his Are You My Mother? complex!
这是用来干什么的 What's this one do?
所有电影中 英雄都会 In every film, there's a moment
触到他的低谷 when the hero hits rock bottom.
在《冰上轻驰》中 是在约翰·坎迪 In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's
珍贵的滑雪杆断裂时 prized bobsled broke.
在《人体蜈蚣》中 是在那些人签约 In Human Centipede, it was when those people...
同意出演那部电影时 signed on to be in that movie.
不过在这部电影里 But in this film, well...
这一幕正在你的眼前 you're looking at it.
跪下 变种人 On your fucking knees, mutant.
谷[石头]... Rock...
底 meet bottom.
我爱你 韦德·威尔逊 I love you, Wade Wilson.
妮莎 Ness?
妮莎 Hey, Ness!
妮莎 你能让我进去吗 Ness, can you let me in?
求你了 求你了 Please! Please.
上帝啊 Jesus.
你给我的提示太少了 You're not giving me a lot of direction here.
我已经到末路了 I'm at the end of my rope.
后来我加入了X战警 Then I joined the X-Men.
我进了监狱 我... I went to prison. I, uh...
是那个孩子吗 Is it the kid?
孩子们给我们一个机会变得更好 Kids give us a chance to be better than we used to be.
那个孩子 The kid!
那就是她的意思 That's exactly what she meant.
你的心没放对地方 Your heart needs to be in the right place.
我不会抛弃这个孩子 I'm not gonna abandon this kid.
他身边 从来没有任何人 He's never had anyone, ever.
我要变得无私 I need to be selfless.
好吧 但那是什么意思 Yeah, but what does that mean?
意思是我要拯救罗素 It means I'm gonna save Russell.
也许我救不了凡妮莎 Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...
但也许我能拯救新西兰的青壮少年 but maybe I can save a robust teenager from New Zealand.
但是我的意思是"无私"这个词 Yeah, but what I mean is, like, the word "Selfless."
我真的不懂那是什么意思 I literally don't know what that means.
上帝啊 Jesus Christ.
听着 据我的人说... Okay, look. According to my guy, okay...
这些变种人马上要被转移到 those muties are being transferred
80英里外的超级监狱了 to a supermax, 80 miles away.
很好 我在路上劫他们 Great, I'll pick 'em off along the way.
先别急着出蛋 伙计 Hold your testicles there, buddy, okay?
这可是会有重装部队进行护送... We're talking about an armored convoy...
还有一名来自未来的超级凶残士兵 and a vicious super soldier from the future...
想把你的头骨变成一个飞机杯 that is looking to turn your skull into a fuckable ashtray.
你知道我们要干什么吗 You know what we need to do?
我们要组建一支小队 We need to build a fucking team.
我们需要一群强大 灵活变通 We need 'em tough, morally flexible...
并且要年轻的人 能守住这个队标10到12年 and young enough so they can carry this franchise 10 to 12 years.
一队专业的混蛋 A team of highly-skilled motherfuckers.
原名为《十一罗汉》 《侠盗一号》
我说的可是《十四罗汉》 《侠盗二号》 I'm talking about some Ocean's 14 shit. Rogue Two.
《疾速追杀》系列目前共两部
《疾速追杀3》 但是原班制作人水平 John Wick 3, but with the original director.
我的身体就是死亡的工具 My body is an instrument of death.
现在不是时候 都朋德 Not now, Dopinder.
我可能可以派上大用场 I could be of great use.
你的超能力是什么 What's your superpower?
-勇气 -真可爱 - Courage. - That's adorable.
那你有勇气去查看 Do you have the courage to check and see...
分配器中有足够的卫生棉吗 if there are enough sanitary napkins in the dispenser?
是 长官 Yes, sir.
抱歉让你看到这一幕 I'm sorry you had to see that,
不过很高兴让你听到了他的回答 although I'm glad you heard it.
好了 我去招募收简历 All right, I'll put out a call for resumes.
但是我们不支付医保和牙医费用 But we're not paying medical or dental.
该重新启用领英了 It's time to get back on LinkedIn.
所有犯人请注意 Attention, all inmates!
将于八点开始向交叉力最高等级监狱 Transport to Cross Force Maximum Security
变种人关押所 进行犯人转移 Mutant Containment Facility will begin at 0800 hours.
将于六点开始检查监狱以及事务处理 Inspection of your cells and out processing will begin at 0600.
你想要什么 What the fuck do you want?
那他妈是我的布丁 That's my fucking pudding.
-去你妈的布丁 -你喜欢布丁 - Fuck your pudding! - You like pudding?
有人吗 Hello?
我知道你在里面 I know you're in there.
作为这里块头最大的家伙肯定也不好过吧 Must be hard being the biggest guy in here.
高处不胜寒吧 Lonely at the top, eh?
他们明天就要转移我们了 They're moving us tomorrow.
也许我能带你离开这里 Maybe I can get you out of here.
然后整个世界都是我们的 And we can make the whole world our bitch.
我们需要一个暗号 We need a secret code.
不 那太蠢了 罗素 笨蛋 No, that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.
我们是一个团队 We're a team.
我们像暴徒 我们像黑帮 We're like thugs, we're like gangsters.
我就像图帕克 你就像冰块 I'm like Tupac, and you're like Ice Cube.
假设她也会唱饶舌 Supposedly, she can rap, too.
我喜欢 I like that.
很棒 这些都很棒 Terrific, these are all terrific.
这是喧嚣 Meet Bedlam.
名字不错 超能力 Cool name! Superpowers?
我可以干扰电磁场 I can distort electrical fields.
包括你脑内的场 Including the one inside your brain...
造成焦虑 混乱... causing anxiety, confusion...
痛苦 pain.
基本上来说 你就是戴夫·马休斯 So, basically, you're Dave Matthews.
我们可以用上他 We can use him.
我是泽特盖斯特 I'm Zeitgeist.
不错 我喜欢 Cool. I like it.
那你有能力 So you have the power
抓住社会的命脉吗 to put your finger on the pulse of society?
不 No.
不 我会吐酸液 No, I spit acidic vomit.
-要我表演一下吗 -不 - Do you want me to demonstrate? - No!
我们信你 We'll take your word for it.
谢谢 听着 我们都在阿比汉堡吃过饭 Thank you. Yeah. Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?
这是消隐者 And this is the Vanisher.
但是... But...
消隐者 Vanisher!
-真棒 -对吧 - Nice! - Right?
他根本不在 对吗 He's not here, is he?
他可能迟到了 He may be running late.
我叫拉什蒂 但我用里碎星这个名字 My name's Rusty, but I go by Shatterstar.
很不错 That's good, yeah.
-拉什蒂真是太烂了 -不行 - "Rusty" Is terrible. - Toughie.
-你来自哪里 -魔幻世界星球 - So, uh, where are you from? - The planet Mojo World.
-那你是外星人了 -名字真烂 - So you're an alien, I guess. - Bad name.
那对我们有什么帮助呢 How does that, uh, help us?
我基本上什么都比你们强 I'm basically better than you at everything.
总有一天 我要找个所有人 Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people
各方面都不如我的星球 that are worse than me at everything.
都是一群蠢蛋 A whole bunch of functional idiots.
我要去那里 变成他们的超人 I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman.
你是说加拿大吗 Isn't that Canada?
雷诺兹是加拿大人
你他妈给我闭嘴 You shut your goddamn trash mouth!
-这是 -多米诺 - Meet... - Domino.
-你的能力是什么 -我很幸运 - What's your shtick? - I'm lucky.
那不是超能力 That's not a superpower.
-就是 -不是 - Yeah, it is. - No, it isn't.
-就是 -不是 - Yes, it is. - No, it isn't.
-就是 -真的不是 - Yeah, it is. - Really isn't.
-不是 -就是 - No, it isn't. - Yes, it is.
我说吧 Told you.
滚出我的脑子 Get out of my head!
我没在你脑子里 I'm not in your head.
我在一个11岁小孩的卧室里 I'm in an 11-year-old's bedroom.
如果你真有那么幸运 Well, if you're so lucky,
那你为什么来这里和我们一起 then what are you doing here with us?
我还不知道 I don't know yet.
什么意思 What's that supposed to mean?
我来这里是有原因的 我知道的时候自然会知道 There's a reason why I'm here, and I'll know when I know.
通常我的一切都会顺其自然发生 Everything usually just kind of works out for me.
在《X战警前传：金刚狼》中饰演韦德·威尔逊／死侍
比如2008年的瑞安·雷诺兹 Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.
我不知道那是谁 I don't know who that is.
你应聘成功了 You're hired.
我真走运 Lucky me.
我喜欢她 I like her!
最后一个 And last, but not least...
皮特 Peter.
你在逗我吗还是... Am I getting catfished here or...?
你有什么能力吗 Any powers you wanna tell us about?
没有 No.
我没有能力 I don't have one.
我只是看到了广告 Um, I just saw the ad.
没有任何超能力吗 No superpowers at all?
我有1型和2型糖尿病 Uh, I have both Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.
糖尿病就这两种 That's all the diabetes.
是啊 你都占了 Right? Yeah, you got 'em all.
如果你发现3型 记得告诉我们 If you find a Type 3, let us know.
对 Yeah.
你应聘成功了 You're in.
-对 -操 - Yeah. - Fuck!
很让人有成就感 It's fulfilling work.
快走 Let's go!
17车队正离开冰盒 This is Convoy 17 departing the Ice Box.
正在路上 We are en route.
和平时期让人软弱 Peacetime makes people soft.
我生于战争 I was born into war.
长于战争 Bred into it.
知道了 Okay.
你感受过的最痛苦的事是什么 What's the most pain you've ever felt?
这些束带挺... These restraints are pretty...
大家以为理解痛苦 People think they understand pain.
其实他们对痛苦根本没有概念 They have no concept of it
他们只知道自己最糟糕的经历 beyond their own worst experience.
对五岁的人来说 5 years old. That's what?
是被蜜蜂蛰 A bee sting.
对 Oh, yeah.
对20岁的人来说 弹片刮擦 20 years old, shrapnel.
对40岁的人来说 疾病 40 years old, disease.
或许那种经历会让你变得机械部分多于肉体部分 Maybe the kind that leaves you more machine than man.
怂货不会变老 Yeah, getting old's not for sissies.
所以我奶奶以前经常... That's what my Grandma Ginny used to...
我排了顺序 I've got a list.
我们要按照上面的顺序来 We're gonna work down it.
一起 Together.
首先我要掰弯点东西 Number one, I'm gonna bend something.
有些原本不该弯的东西 Something that was not meant to bend.
你还是就此打住吧 I'm gonna stop you right there
我肯定坚持不到第二条 because I'm not gonna make it to two.
我连第一条都坚持不到 I won't even make it to one.
我受不了痛苦 I don't do well with pain, you know.
如果撞到脚趾头 那我一天就毁了 If I stub my toe, I'm done for the day.
我喜欢的《费丽丝蒂》被取消时我都哭了 I cried when they canceled Felicity.
我真正害怕时 会因为紧张而勃起 When I get really scared, I get nervous erections.
现在我就勃起了 I have one right now.
你别看 越看我越勃起 Don't look. It'll only make it worse.
我不想让你伤害我 I don't want you to hurt me,
你想知道的事我都会告诉你 and I'll tell you anything you wanna know.
除了他们在哪里 Except for where they are.
罗素在一个车队里 在杰瑞大根大道 Russell's in a convoy heading southbound
往南行使 on Gerry Duggan Parkway.
那怪物跟他们在一起 The monster's with them.
-我可不想招惹他 -你们都知道计划 -I wouldn't fuck with him. - You all know the plan.
拦截车队 Intercept the convoy,
救出男孩 但方式要对 grab the boy. But not inappropriately!
知道吗 我也不想招惹死侍 You know what, i wouldn't fuck with Deadpool either.
因为他组建了一个队伍 他所向无敌 Because he's built a team. He's unstoppable.
他屁股里有支笔 他会用那个捅你 He has an ass pen. He'll stab you with it.
小心这个家伙 电索 Watch out for this guy, Cable!
他很矮 一米八 不跟漫画里一样 He's very short, 5'11". Not like in the comics.
如果我们成功 我们就早回家 And if we succeed, we all go home early.
所以如果你去对付他们 电索 我警告你 So if you go after them, Cable, I warn you...
注意大风 there's a wind advisory in effect.
上面风有点大 A little turbulent up here.
我不是很了解这个叫电索的伙计 I don't know much about this Cable fella...
不过我保证 他杀的人 but I guarantee he hasn't killed
肯定不如黑素瘤害死的人多 as many people as melanoma has.
就快到了 We're getting close!
作为前X战警... As a former X-Man...
-是实习生 -谢谢 喧嚣 - Trainee. - Thank you, Bedlam.
我一直都震惊于那伙人名字中 I was always appalled by the blatant sexism
如此赤裸裸的性别歧视 in the group's name.
X战警[男人] 非得男人吗 X-Men! Men!
重点是 我们要有前瞻性思维 The point is, our group will be forward thinking.
性别中立 Gender neutral.
此后我们就叫... From now on, we'll be known as...
X特工队 X-Force.
是不是有点山寨啊 Isn't that a little derivative?
我没问你的意见 皮特 I don't recall asking your opinion, Peter!
不是我说的 That wasn't me.
降到1300英尺开始跳 Hang the laundry out at 1,300 feet...
拦截车队 救出男孩 intercept the convoy, and grab the boy.
来场大屠杀吧 宝贝儿 Let's bring on the carnage, baby!
把我放到地面 瞧好吧 Get me on the ground, watch me go!
太想去杀人了 I can't wait to kill!
我想说我真的为这支队伍骄傲 I just wanna say how proud I am of this team.
你们看起来棒极了 You know, you guys look amazing!
消隐者 毫无疑问你看起来也很棒 Vanisher, I have no doubt you look amazing too.
这是我一直 This is the family
梦想拥有的大家庭 我... that I've always dreamed of having and I...
见鬼 Ah, shit.
我有时候会突然就说不下去了 I just get a little choked up sometimes.
我不想打断 不过有人 I hate to interrupt, but is anybody nervous
对大风紧张吗 about the high winds?
-盖瑞 -我叫皮特 - Gary. - My name's Peter.
我知道你第一次干这种事 不过尽管放松 I realize that you're new to this, but relax.
你是被至高权力选中的人 You've been chosen by a higher power.
-他刚才说自己是上帝吗 -好像是 - Did he just call himself God? - I think he did.
-我想回家 -我还想 - I'd like to go home. - And I'd like...
麦当劳烤汁猪排堡全年供应呢 the McRib to be available year round,
但有时候梦想不会成真 but sometimes dreams don't come true.
我在特种部队待了十年 I spent 10 years in Special Forces.
你以为我们会因为一点小风 You think we didn't jump out of the plane
就不从飞机里跳下去吗 because of a light breeze?
你别无可去了 小胡子 You're in this shit now, Mustache!
我大喊只是为了给其他人看 I'm only yelling to impress the other guys.
我绝不会让你出事的 小甜心 I'd never let anything happen to you, Sugarbear.
莱纳德 来吧 Leonard, hit it!
跳 跳 跳 Go! Go! Go!
来爽一把 Let's get some!
车队在12点钟方向 听我口令 Convoy, 12 o'clock! On my command!
部署 搞什么 Deploy! Oh, hey now!
有点偏离轨道 Little off course here.
我勒个大操 Holy mommy fucking shit!
他们在那里 Ah, there they are.
看这些华丽的混蛋 Look at these gorgeous sons of bitches.
好样的 喧嚣 Oh, yeah! That's right, Bedlam!
不 真他娘操蛋 No! Tripping motherfucking billies!
里碎星 你可以的 Shatterstar. Okay, you got this.
往左 Left!
这种天气还要起飞 肯定是疯了 You'd have to be insane to take off in this.
不对 是左边 白痴 No, stage left, you idiot!
好吧 看来我们找到了 Well, I guess we found something
你没有比我们更强的方面 you're not better at.
消隐者 Vanisher.
或许风吹不毁它看不到的东西 Maybe the wind can't blow what it can't see.
前方布拉德·皮特警告
不是吧 Oh! Really?
好吧 四个人也可以 All right, we could do this with four.
小甜心 你可以的 伙计 Sugarbear. You got this, buddy!
好样的 这才是X特工队精神 That's the stuff! That's the X-Force spirit!
不要低估一个留小胡子的人 Never underestimate a man with a mustache!
不信随便找布鲁克林的人问问 Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.
我们成功了 We did it!
你绝对是超级英雄 You're a goddamn superhero, you!
X特工队 X-Force!
X特工队 X-Force.
皮特 Peter.
我来救你 伙计 I got you, buddy!
-你不会有事的 -糟糕了 - You're gonna be fine! - This is not good, man!
你可以的 大兄弟 加油 皮特 You got this, big guy! Here we go, Peter!
看着我 我们是X特工队 对吧 Look at me. We're X-Force, right?
-对 我们是 -我们是X特工队 - Yeah, we're X-Force. - We're X-Force.
苍天 搞什么 Oh, my God! What the fuck?
该死的酸性呕吐物 Fucking acidic vomit!
天啊 我要吐在面具里了 Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up in my mask.
我到达车队上方了 Okay, I'm over the convoy.
队伍其他人都降落在哪里了 Where did the rest of the team land?
好消息和坏消息 Good news and bad news.
坏消息是整个队伍的人都死了 Bad news is the whole team is dead.
好消息是 The good news is,
我觉得不会有人怀念里碎星的 I don't think anyone's gonna miss Shatterstar.
他有点混蛋 不过保罗 He was a bit of a prick. Oh, but Paul!
皮特 Peter!
皮特 我最怀念的会是他 Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.
不过还有一丢丢可能 But there is a slight chance
消隐者能成功落地 Vanisher could make it.
可能为零了 他死了 Nope, no chance. He's dead.
全军覆没 The whole team?
只剩主力了 我们还是可以的 Only the main ones. We're still good.
操 你个蠢货 Fuck, you are dumb.
安排这些特技表演的人 Whoever planned this stunt's
肯定抽了很多大麻 been smoking a lot jazz cabbage.
我话放这儿了 I'll tell you that much.
那不是显而易见 That's pretty obvious!
你看起来不错 消隐者 Looking good, Vanisher.
他们进入隧道了 They're headed into the tunnel.
我是那个孩子的唯一希望 I'm that kid's only hope,
不要轻举妄动 等我的口令 so sit tight and wait for my word.
随便 Whatever.
要跟丢他们了 我要落地了 We're gonna lose 'em. I'm dropping in.
不行 唯一的幸存者 Uh, that's a negative, sole survivor.
幸运不是超能力 我们完蛋了 Luck is not a superpower! We are so fucked!
不 我们当然没有完蛋 No, we most certainly are not fucked.
说真的 我搞不懂 Seriously, I don't get it!
你是从眼睛里发射幸运镭射的吗 What, you shoot luck lasers out of your eyes?
我真的很难想象 It's just it's hard to picture.
而且很没有观影性 And certainly not very cinematic.
运气 不是吧 I mean, luck?
什么样的扯淡胡闹 What coked out, glass pipe-sucking
神经病漫画家 freakshow comic book artist...
才会想出这种桥段 came up with that little chestnut?
大概是个连脚都不会画的家伙 Probably a guy who can't draw feet!
指死侍漫画作者罗伯·莱菲尔德 作品出了名的腿部比例奇怪
任务又一次全部落到了我的肩上 Once again, it all falls on my shoulders.
所以我才被诅咒成为独行侠 It's why I'm cursed to be a solo act.
-在地球... -我就位了 - Wander the Earth... - I'm in.
抱歉 你说什么 I'm sorry, what did you say?
我就位了 I'm in.
你他妈怎么就就位了 How in the fuck are you in already?
见鬼 Oh, shit.
是电索 12点钟方向 It's Cable. 12 o'clock.
好的 Okay.
新计划 用你所有的想象力 New plan. Use all of your imaginary powers
阻止电索杀死那个孩子 to stop Cable from killing that kid.
我从你六点钟方向来了 I'm coming up on your six.
那把枪太赞了 That gun is amazing!
混球 Hey! Asshole!
他在哪里 我看不到他 Where is he? I can't see him.
他在你上面 He's on top of you.
他把你撕开了 He's tearing you open!
他从后面进去了 He's going in through the back!
天啊 他进去了 Oh, God, he's inside!
你知道自己在说什么吧 You hear yourself, right?
不小心双关了 Accidental double entendres!
罗素 罗素·柯林斯 Russell! Russell Collins!
别碰那个孩子 约翰·康纳 Hands off that kid, John Connor!
不不不 No, no, no!
该死 Shit!
两个人也能行 Two can play that game!
来了 失败了 Got it! No, I don't.
好戏该上演了 美女 Showtime, mama!
幸运女神 你来开车 Lady Luck, take the wheel.
我应该问问你是谁 不过你马上就要死了 I'd ask who you are, but you'll be dead in a second.
我是多米诺 我表示怀疑 I'm Domino, and doubtful.
坚持住 多米诺 Hang in there, Doms!
这样真的太难了 Oh, this is really hard.
把我的滑雪球币还给我 And give me back my Skee-Ball token.
-你表现很棒 -X特工队 - You're doing great. - X-Force.
看来回响贝斯永远不死 I guess dubstep never dies.
你杀了布莱克·汤姆 你个种族主义混蛋 You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a bitch!
这就不走运了 That's unfortunate.
刹车坏了 We got no brakes!
想办法 Figure it out!
没有我杀不死的东西 There's nothing I can't kill.
正如男童子军团长凯文所说 Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin used to say...
"凡事总有第一次 孩子" "There's a first time for everything, son."
把你的本事使出来吧 独眼龙 Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willy.
那些子弹还真快啊 Those bullets were, like, super fast.
来吧 Here we go.
多米诺 慢一点好吗 Domino, mind slowing us down?
没办法了 Here goes nothing.
叮咚 Knock, knock.
最高安全级别区域
好样的 That's my boy.
我的天... Holy...
首先我要承认 I'll be first to admit...
这跟计划中不太一样 this did not go according to plan.
我还要首先承认 I'll also be the first to admit that
计划是用蜡笔写的 that plan was written in crayon.
看来罗素找到了新朋友 好嫉妒哦 Looks like Russell found a new friend. Jelly.
事实证明 多米诺是个狠角色 Turns out Domino's a bit of a badass,
或许还有点走运 and maybe, possibly mildly lucky.
但是电索 那家伙真是情绪太大了 But Cable? Ugh. That guy's in a mood.
而且他的情绪 A mood that is
马上就会更大 about to get significantly worse.
感觉非常非常不对劲 Something is so terribly, terribly wrong.
苍天 好疼 Oh, God, that hurt.
去死吧 梅尔·吉布森 Suck it, Mel Gibson.
罗素 Russell.
罗素 Russell!
罗素 你在哪里 Russ, where are ya?
罗素 罗素 你没事 Russell. Russell, you're okay!
谢天谢地 天啊 Oh, thank God. Oh, my God!
红坦克 Juggernaut!
我就知道是你 I thought that was you!
我应该穿白裤子来的 I should've worn my white pants.
可能你已经见怪不怪了 但我是你的铁杆粉丝 You probably get this a lot, but I am a huge fan.
《X战警 神秘版》183期 《雷神》411期 Uncanny X-Men183. Thor411.
《X战警 无限》12期 X-Men Unlimited12.
我一直都梦想 You know, it has always been a dream of mine...
看到你冲向我想杀我时... to see my face reflected in your helmet...
在你的头盔上映出我自己的脸 as you charge at me with murderous intent.
我不是指现在 I don't mean right now.
我要马上把你撕成两半 I'm gonna rip you in half now.
这话真有红坦克的风格 That is such a Juggernaut thing to say.
天啊 我感受不到自己的腿了 Oh, my God! I can't feel my legs.
我感受不到... I can't feel...
不 腿在这里 Oh, no, they're right here.
找到了 天啊 罗素 Got 'em. God, Russell.
我有自己的任务 I have a mission.
复仇 To get my revenge.
我要活活烧死那个院长 I'm going to burn that headmaster alive.
你不是复仇的料 You're not the revenge type.
我一个朋友是这么说的 Take it from a friend.
朋友 你有难的时候我保护了你 Friend? You were sick, and I protected you.
你自己亲口说的 You said it yourself.
"我不是你的朋友 找个更强大的人" "I'm not your friend. Find someone stronger."
所以我找了 So I did.
罗素 当时我没能保护你 Russell, I couldn't protect you back then.
但现在我能了 你想让我说什么 But I can now. What do you want me to say, huh?
"我在乎你"吗 真是的 "I care about you"? 'Cause goddamn it,
我在乎你 罗素 I care about you, Russell.
红坦克有什么我没有的 What's Juggernaut got that I don't have?
别说是腿 我就知道你会说是腿 Don't you say legs! I know you're gonna say legs!
-腿 -听你说出来我还是很心痛 - Legs! - Still hurts to hear out loud!
那是什么 那不是真绳子 What is that? That's not a real rope!
你给我回来 年轻人 You get back here, young man!
多米诺 Doms!
多米诺 带我离开 拜托 Doms, get me out of here, please.
把我的胳膊当成背带 Use my arms as backpack straps.
我们可能找到 I think we may have found
你在此的宇宙原因了 your cosmic reason for being here.
我很确定不是这个 I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
X特工队 X-Force.
没有没希望的孩子 No child is hopeless.
-别放弃那个男孩 -他怎么能就那样离开 - Don't give up on the boy. - How could he just walk away?
他眼神中充满冷漠 It was the coldness in his eyes.
你应该听听他怎么说的 You should've heard it.
看来家庭真的是脏话 I guess family really is an F-word.
揉揉我的腿 妈妈 Rub my legs, Mama.
为什么要揉你的腿 Why would I rub your legs?
拜托 很疼 我这是生长痛 Please, they hurt. I have growing pains.
这是... What in the...
你的手为什么又这么小了 Why is your hand so tiny again?
那不是我的手 That's not my hand.
苍天大地我的娘啊 Oh! Mary, mother of Joseph!
我不介意 That was nice for me.
韦德 我听说车队的事了... Wade! I heard what happened with the convoy and...
你还是盖起来吧 Why wouldn't you cover that up?
真正的勇士没有什么可羞耻的 A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of.
但你有 你自己看看 Yeah, but you do. Look at you.
你只用衬衫盖着自己的弟弟 You're just straight shirt-cocking it,
跟蹒跚学步的小孩一样 toddler-style.
对 完全小熊维尼风 Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.
维尼只穿上衣
到底怎么了 描述一下 The hell's happening? Describe it.
换做我我可不会让他那么做 I wouldn't ask him to do that, if I were you.
-就是... -好吧 - It's like, um... - Here we go.
就好像他在用屁眼生孩子 It's like he was giving birth anally,
但是生到一半停住了 but they quit halfway through.
腿都出来了 然后孩子说 They got the legs out, and they said,
"算了 我不想出来了" "You know what, I'm done."
高兴了吗 就好像他腰以下是个木偶 Happy? It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down.
但这次 你可以看到 But this time, you can see
木偶的鸡鸡 the Muppet's dick.
木偶格罗弗有个小树枝一样的老二 Grover's got a cock the size of a twig.
黄鼠狼先生 我不能再被抓到并排停车了 Mr. Weasel, I can no longer be double-parked.
我已经收到三张罚单了 I've had three tickets already.
不不不 死侍 你又来 No, no, no, DP, not again!
以前这样过吗 This has happened before?
天啊 要么吐出来 要么咽下去 Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
你这犹豫不决快把我搞疯了 The indecision is killing me.
上帝为什么不夺走我的听力 Why couldn't God take my hearing?
淡定 正在长回来 Cool your pits. They're growing back.
我说得是你的脸 I'm talking about your face.
我第一次见你不戴面具 I've never seen you without your mask before.
-苍天 -像个牛油果 - Jesus Christ! - Looks like an avocado.
不过你的腿很可爱 Your legs, though, they're cute.
想借条裤子穿吗 You wanna borrow a pair of pants?
很高兴大家都来了 I'm glad everybody dropped by.
你们肯定好奇我什么不叫你们来 You must be wondering why I didn't call you here.
我来告诉你我来的原因 I'll tell you why I'm here.
"时间旅行者的妻子"的丈夫 "The Time Traveler's Wife's" husband...
差点把我揍死了 beat me within an inch of my life.
他狠狠折磨了我 He was torturing me!
但我就只告诉了他他想知道的所有事 But all I told him was everything he wanted to know.
所以我是来帮忙做准备的 So, I'm here to help us gear up.
我们好不带我去找他算账 So we can go after him without me.
不 No!
我一个人去 I'm doing this alone.
红坦克 The Juggernaut
-会把你们都杀了 -好吧 - will kill you all. - Fair enough.
再给我几个小时 让我把腿 I just need a couple of hours to get some legs
-长回来 -你要怎么做 - under me. - What will you do?
我不管那孩子怎么对我 I don't care what the kid did to me.
我绝不会让电索抓到他 I ain't letting Cable get to him,
即使我得用蛋蛋把他闷死 even if I have to teabag him to death.
现在的大小只能拍拍他的脸吧 It's really just a sip of tea at this point.
闭嘴 黑人黑寡妇 我正文思泉涌 Zip it, black Black Widow! I'm flowing.
现在的第一件事是 The first order of business is
把我带到电索面前 to get me in front of Cable...
让我把他的血都放干 so I can pull all the fucking blood out of his body...
把他的骨头做成节日纪念品 and fashion his bones into holiday jewelry.
然后我会剥了他的皮 Then, I'm gonna take his skin...
用来做鼓面 and stretch it out over a homemade mating drum.
他就站在你们身后 是吗 He's standing right behind you, isn't he?
搞什么 What in the ass?
这间公寓的地址在约炮软件上吗 Is this apartment listed on Tinder? Grindr?
你挑错地方惹事了 未来小子 You picked the wrong shithole to fuck, future boy.
真的有那个必要吗 Ugh. Is that really necessary?
不 那只是他的本能 No. It's his "Basic Instinct."
你有什么事 What can we help you with?
我是来找你求欢[建议]的 I'm here to proposition you.
苍天啊 Oh, boy!
他真是够幽默啊 He's really teeing it up, isn't he?
谁来开第一个玩笑 Who gets to make the first joke?
我们还是同时来吧 I think we should all do it at the same time.
好主意 Good call.
45刀给你口 For $45, you get sucky-suck.
只能穿着裤子用嘴来 I only do over the pants, mouth stuff.
-操 -《关键协议[求欢]》里盖·皮尔斯有精彩表现 - Fuck! - The Proposition has a wonderful guy Pearce performance.
等等 等等 我要自己重新来过 Wait, wait, wait! I wanna do mine over.
-你再说一遍 -我需要你的帮助 - Give us the line again. - I need your help!
相信我 我比你还不开心 Trust me, I'm even less happy about this than you are...
但你把红坦克放出来了 蠢逼 but you unleashed the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!
我一个人赢不了他 I can't bring him down alone.
所以只能这样了 So here we are.
很不幸 我们X特工队 We're no longer accepting applications
不接受申请了 for X-Force, unfortunately.
即使我们接受 Even if we were...
还有大风警告 要持续到至少... there's a wind advisory in effect until at least...
我们时间不多 We don't have a lot of time.
你的朋友马上就开杀戒了 Your friend's about to make his first kill.
恕我直言 如果你知道的这么多 No offense, but if you know so much...
为什么不穿越回他是个婴儿的时候把他杀了 why not travel back to when he was a baby, kill him then?
或者可以再穿越回去一点 Or better yet, head back a little further,
直接杀了婴儿希特勒 kill baby Hitler.
我用一个设备穿越时空 I use a device to slide through time.
我穿越的越久 设备就越难控制 The longer I travel, the harder it is to control.
我只能充两次电 一次让我来 I got two charges: one to get me here,
一次让我回去 one to get me home.
好吧 Well.
这种写法也太懒了 That's just lazy writing.
今晚那个男孩就要 Your boy's gonna kill the headmaster
杀死孤儿院院长 of the orphanage tonight.
之后他就会尝到其中的甜头 After that, he gets a real taste for it.
就像十岁的克尔斯滕·邓斯特 该死 Like 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!
所以他一直杀人 So he keeps killing...
一直杀啊杀啊杀 and killing, and killing,
杀啊杀 and killing.
直到有一天他杀错了人 Until one day, he kills the wrong fucking people.
我的人 My people.
放松 Relax.
我只是要从工具袋里拿东西 I'm retrieving something from my utility bag.
那是个该死的腰包 It's a goddamn fanny pack...
你很清楚 你这个变态的混蛋 and you know it, you sick son of a bitch!
这俩根本是天差地别 The difference is night and day.
你让我想起我妻子 You remind me of my wife.
什么 I'm sorry.
-我说你让我想起我妻子 -很遗憾你这么说时 - I said, "You remind me of my wife." - No, I'm sorry that you said that...
正在跟我眼神接触 而且还涂着唇膏 while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.
她一直很挣扎 She always struggled.
但她很风趣 But she was funny...
所以用幽默的三棱镜过滤自己的痛苦 and filtered her pain through the prism of humor.
这我永远都学不会 Something I could never master.
她的死是我的错 It was my fault she died.
阻止他那样的人是我的职责 It was my job to stop people like him.
我有几次就快成功了 I came close a few times.
他对此不太高兴 He wasn't too happy about that.
他想伤害我 He was trying to hurt me...
他也知道应该怎么做 and he knew exactly how to do it.
赐福于那些 Blessed are the wicked
被我所治愈的邪恶之人 who are healed by my hand.
他来到我家 He came into my home...
带走了唯一让那成为家的东西 and took the only thing that made it a home.
听起来熟悉吗 Sound familiar?
很遗憾 I'm sorry.
真的很遗憾 No, I'm really sorry.
但那不是罗素 But that isn't Russell.
-他可以不成为那样 -如果你知道我知道的... - It doesn't have to be him. - If you knew what I knew...
他是有愤怒问题 Yeah, he's got anger issues...
还有点轻微学习障碍 maybe a small learning disability...
严重糖尿病 splash of diabetes...
但那都是可以处理好的 but nothing that can't be fixed.
如果你能穿越回去 If you could go back...
阻止杀你女朋友的人 你会去做吗 and stop the people that took your girl, would you?
不 No.
我会请他们去嫖一顿 I'd buy them all a bouquet of hand jobs.
废话 我当然会 Of course I fucking would!
但我不会杀一个小孩子 But I wouldn't kill a kid.
我没让你杀小孩子 I'm not asking you to kill a kid!
我会杀他 I'll kill the kid.
我是让你拯救成千上万其他孩子 I'm asking you to save hundreds of other kids.
罗素会烧毁那个孤儿院 Russell's gonna burn down that orphanage.
我可以想象你死去的女朋友 And I can imagine your dead girlfriend...
肯定想让你做对的事 对吧 would want you to do the right thing, wouldn't she?
什么是对的事 帅哥 So, what's it gonna be, handsome?
给我个机会拯救他 Give me a chance to save him.
-什么 -你说... - What? - You said...
他一旦开杀戒 就会尝到甜头 once he kills someone, he gets a taste for it.
如果我们在他开杀戒前找到他... If we can get to him before that happens...
答应我 你会给我机会 promise you'll give me a chance
让他走上不同的路 to put him on a different path.
定义一下"机会" Define "Chance."
我不知道 要救一个人的灵魂 I don't know. How long does it take
需要多久 那不是... to save someone's soul? That's not...
我给你30秒 I'll give you 30 seconds.
-不行 -这是最多了 - What? No! - Best I can do.
不要这个机会就算了 Take it or leave it.
他站起来了 He's doing it!
看那个小家伙 他站起来了 Look at the little fella. He's doing it.
他来了 There he goes.
苍天啊 Jesus Christ!
用衬衫盖着呢 Just shirt-cocking it.
好样的 小家伙 There you go, little fella.
加油 你做得很好 Go on, you're doing it!
我漂亮 没毛 蹒跚学步的小男孩 My beautiful, hairless, Twizzler-legged baby boy.
苍天 Christ!
不忍直视 That's disturbing.
30秒 30 seconds.
-成交 -成交 - Deal. - Deal.
太烦了 他们竟然没有你的尺码 Man, that sucks they didn't have anything in your size.
大码先生
我真的想跟你穿得很搭 I really wanted to match, you know?
作为一个恶人小队 Being a menacing team.
真是糟糕透了 Oh, man, it sucks.
确实很让人不爽 孩子 That was some cold-ass shit, kid.
那只是前列腺高潮的 And that is just the first five steps
前五个步骤 to a prostate-assisted orgasm.
我们这是去哪里 Where the hell are we going?
你自己说的 You said it yourself.
没人能阻止红坦克 所以我们需要帮助 Nothing can stop the Juggernaut. We need backup.
我会在你敌人的血中沐浴 I will bathe in the blood of your enemies.
能把音乐关掉吗 Can you turn off the music?
不可以 You'll do no such thing.
你为什么不用印度口音说 Why don't you just say it in an Indian accent?
-什么[不好意思] -接受道歉 - I'm sorry? - Apology accepted.
我不喜欢你这一点 This is a side of you I do not like.
我猜猜 Let me guess,
你在未来的某个兄弟是印度人 some of your best friends in the future are Indian.
你到底在... What the hell are you...?
不宽容又一次抬起了丑陋的头 Once again, intolerance rears its ugly head.
抱歉 会好起来的 I am so sorry. It gets better.
我不是种族主义者 白痴 I'm not a fucking racist, moron!
种族主义者就会这么说 That's precisely what a racist would say.
这次我挺这个白人家伙 I'm with the old white guy on this one.
这是一大转变 And that's a twist.
等事情结束 When this is over...
我会拿你断掉的脚把你插死 I'm going to fuck you to death with your own broken feet.
还有性虐待倾向 你真牛逼 And a sexual predator, too. That's rich.
我该念完大学的 I should have finished college.
话说你在未来到底是干什么的 So what exactly do you do in the future, anyway, huh?
某种战士吗 Some kind of soldier?
差不多吧 Yeah, something like that.
我曾是特种部队战士 I was a soldier. Special Forces.
五十年后我们肯定会成为好哥们 I bet 50 years from now, we're bestest buddies.
五十年后你早死了 50 years from now, you're very dead.
你们这一代把这个星球搞死了 Your entire generation fucked this planet into a coma.
剧透警告 Spoiler alert.
星球啊 Planets.
下次还是打优步吧 Next time, Uber.
我给你剧透一点 Here's a spoiler alert.
你不是英雄 You're not a fucking hero.
你只是个穿成性玩具的烦人小丑 You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.
我有消息告诉你 Well, I got news for you.
我的心放对了地方 My heart is in the right place.
罗素不会杀任何人 Russell's not gonna kill anyone.
因为我 他会知道真正的爱是什么 Because of me, he's gonna know what real love looks like.
我们都会死 We're all going to die.
因为你 我会一直知道 Because of you, I'll always know
成年人长了婴儿蛋是什么样 what a grown man with baby balls looks like.
我会变大的 又不是大不起来 I'm a grower, not a shower.
天啊 真希望这是公交车 God, I wish this were a bus
那样我就可以按铃下车了 where I could pull the string and get out.
还好开车的不是电索 It's a good thing Cable's not driving,
否则你就坐后排了 or you'd be in the back.
-我本来就坐后排 -这里 - I am in the back. - Right here!
我错了 I made mistakes!
我想收回 I wanna take them back!
你信任过我 我将那份信任 You trusted me. I took that trust...
变成了机场卫生间里的一个鸟洞 and turned it into a glory hole in an airport bathroom.
厕所隔板上用于口交的孔
就是明尼阿波利斯那个 你知道的 The one in Minneapolis. You know the one.
但连你都知道我不是个十足的混蛋 But even you know I'm not a complete piece of shit.
我曾经是X战警 I was once an X-Man.
实习生 Trainee!
你还在用我的尼龙搭扣标签啊 You're still using my Velcro labels. Aw.
确实比胶带更好用 They do stick better than tape.
你好 韦德 Hi, Wade!
别这样 Please don't.
你想说什么就说吧 快点 Say whatever it is you're here to say. Make it quick.
好 快 Right. Quick.
就是那个孩子 就像你 我也让他失望了 It's the kid. Just like you, I let him down.
就像我 And just like me,
从没有人为他牺牲过 he's never had anyone sacrifice anything for him...
因为全世界很久以前 because the whole world wrote him off
就把他当成垃圾放弃了 as a piece of shit a long time ago.
他现在跟红坦克组队了 Look, he's teamed up with the Juggernaut!
红坦克 The Juggernaut!
那是我最喜欢的漫威角色 Who's, like, my favorite Marvel character ever...
你好 雪绪 谢谢你跟我打招呼 And hi, Yukio! That was really nice of you to say hi...
所以我也跟你打个招呼 so I'm saying hi back.
你们在一起真般配 You guys make a super cute couple.
真的 我说到哪里了 Yeah. Where was I?
想起来了 永远不该见自己的偶像 Oh, yeah. You should never meet your heroes...
因为说真的 他有点混蛋 because, honestly, he's a bit of a dick!
跟大多数混蛋一样 他坚硬无比 And like a lot of dicks, he's hard as a rock...
而且只会惹麻烦 and causes nothing but problems!
你可以阻止红坦克 我知道你可以 Look, you can stop the Juggernaut. I know you can.
你知道如果我帮你 我会是什么下场吗 Do you know what would happen to me if I helped you?
我会丢脸 I would be disgraced.
你是个犯罪分子 逃犯 You are a criminal, a fugitive.
但最糟糕的是 But worst of all...
你让我心碎了 韦德 you broke my heart, Wade.
那你知道吗 Then you know what?
你的心没放对位置 大块头 Your heart's in the wrong place, big guy.
做正确的事有时候会很操蛋 Doing the right thing is sometimes messy...
完球 而且不会很方便 and fucked up, and not particularly convenient!
所以你就待在你的处女城堡里吧 So stay here in Chateau de Virgin...
我们去嗨了 while we go get our fuck on!
你表现得很好 You're doing great.
你戴着头盔是因为 So you wear that helmet because
你兄弟想读你的心吗 your brother tries to read your mind?
对 不过他现在坐轮椅了 我们扯平了 Yeah, but he's in a wheelchair, so even-steven.
有人来了 是罗素 先生 Someone's coming. It's Russell, sir.
而且他不是一个人 And he's not alone.
保证孩子们的安全 Secure the children.
他们不会取代我们的 They will not replace us.
我们去大干一场如何 What do you say we go fuck some shit up?
"我们去大干一场"就是我的中间名 "Let's fuck some shit up" is my legal middle name.
你给我断后 我对付那个老头子 Watch my back. I've got the old man.
阿门 兄弟 Amen, brother.
是时候嗨起来了 Time to make the chimichangas.
30秒 30 seconds.
我终于知道为什么来此了 I finally know why I'm here.
我是在这里被抚养长大的 I was raised in this place.
其实不是抚养 而是折磨 Well, not raised. I was tortured.
震惊 你来此的宇宙原因大白天下了 Wow! It's your cosmic reason for being here.
-走吧 -肯定会很好玩 - Shall we? - This is gonna be fun.
是啊 Yeah!
我一直想问你 Hey! Been meaning to ask you...
你为什么带着那个脏兮兮的恶心玩具熊 what's with the dirty, disgusting hobo bear?
那不是弄脏了 是我死去女儿的血 It's not dirt. It's the blood of my dead daughter.
你是熊吗[你在吗] 上帝 我是玛格丽特 Are You Bear, God? It's Me, Margaret.
来顶个拳 Give me some.
俗话说笑声治愈一切 They say laughter heals anything...
当然 除了那个 except, of course, that.
应该打开音乐了 We should just cue the music.
欢迎回家 罗素 我们很想你 Welcome home, Russell. We missed you.
罗素 Russell!
你不用这样 我们谈谈 You don't need to do this! Let's talk!
你为什么穿成炸弹客的样子 Why are you dressed like the Unabomber?
-这就是原因 -我早说过 这个小混蛋无药可救了 - That's why! - Told you this little fucker's too far gone.
闭嘴 灭霸 我们说好了的 你... Zip it, Thanos! We have a deal and you fuck...
乔什·布洛林也是灭霸的饰演者
我要把那个出租车司机插进你的菊花里 I'm gonna shove that cab driver right up your ass.
我的身体和手都很柔软 My body and my hands are so soft.
-你还是回车上吧 -我还是回车上吧 - You should probably head back to the car. - I think I'll head back to the car.
扣动扳机的时候 枪才最好用 It works best when you pull the trigger.
这把枪太赞了 That gun is amazing!
说出来 Say it!
你是个怪胎 You are an abomination!
现在我要把红色家伙插进这个老家伙菊花里 Now, I'm gonna shove the red guy up the old guy.
我相信他的话 分散战斗 I believe him! Every man for themselves!
逮住你了 Gotcha!
受死吧 侏儒 Beat it, midget!
黑寡妇安抚浩克的台词
大家伙 太阳快下山了 Hey, big guy, the sun's getting real low!
惨了 Oh, shit fuck!
过来 美人 Come here, beautiful.
说出来 Say it!
你为我而来了 You came for me.
我不会放弃你的 I'm not giving up on you,
你也不要放弃那个男孩 and you are not giving up on that boy.
谁说的规矩不是用来破坏的 Who says that rules aren't meant to be broken?
是时候用脏的了 It's time to fight dirty.
是时候用扫堂腿了 强尼 Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
喂 挑个跟自己个头差不多的人欺负 Hey! Pick on someone your own size!
这话真是你的风格 That's such a you thing to say!
去干掉他 猛虎 Go get him, tiger!
特效打斗场面登场了 Big CGI fight coming up!
他完全没问题 He's doing great.
说出来 Say it!
-罗素 -对了 - Russell. - Bingo!
看到那辆巴士了吗 You see that bus?
我要把它插进你菊花里 I'm gonna shove it up your ass.
没错 我要用脏的了 That's right! I'm fighting dirty!
-好极了 -那些怪胎在那里 - Oh, great! - There they are! Those freaks!
一群穿着护士鞋的武装恋童癖 A bunch of armed pedophiles in nursing shoes.
能给我一把枪吗 Can I have one of those guns?
-不能 -好吧 - No. - That's fine.
赶紧滚 变种人渣 Get off this property, mutant scum!
那我就用这块砖头吧 I'm just gonna use this brick.
尽力而为 Maximum effort.
谁说再也没法回家了呢 Who says you can't go home again?
说出来 Say it.
你每次折磨我时说的话 说出来 Say what you said every time you tortured me!
说出来 Say it!
赐福于那些被我所治愈的邪恶之人 Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand!
赐福于那些 Blessed are the wicked...
被我所治愈的 who are healed...
邪恶之人 by my hand.
你个共产主义混蛋 You commie motherfucker!
天啊 你也感受到了吗 Oh, my God. Did you feel that, too?
只有好哥们才一起处决恋童癖 Only best buddies execute pedophiles together.
你有30秒 你个叨逼叨逼碎碎念 You got 30 seconds, you jabbering butt plug!
你终于上道了 Now we're getting it.
我需要一辆巴士把你们都救出去 I need a bus to get you all out of here.
孤儿们 Orphans.
天啊 Oh, geez.
是时候为你的行为 It's time to burn for
-付出代价了 -一个孩子不该有这种力量 - what you've done! - A child should not be burdened with such power!
罗素 等等 Russell! Wait!
等等 他还没杀人 Wait! He hasn't killed anyone yet!
-你还要等到什么时候 -你他妈不许动他 - What more do you need to see? - Don't you fucking dare!
他只是个孩子 He's just a kid!
滴答 计时中 Tick, tock. Meter's running!
我要把你化了 做成屌环 I'm gonna melt you down and make a cock ring.
-我说过了 走开 -来啊 - I told you! Leave me alone! - Come on!
听我说 Listen to me!
那是我们俄罗斯的做法 That's how we do it in Mother Russia.
大家都说千禧一代是最难搞的 They say millennials are the hardest to reach.
不 你做得太棒了 Oh, no. You're doing amazing.
该死 做流氓的感觉真好 Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!
回家吧 韦德 Go home, Wade!
你在毁掉一切 You're ruining everything!
我越来越擅长这个了 I'm getting good at this shit.
快走 快走 快走 Go, go, go!
他今晚死定了 韦德 He dies tonight, Wade.
你阻止不了我 You can't stop me!
他跑得像个变态一样 He even runs like a fucking pervert.
像丢失了笔记本电脑的网络猎人 Like an online predator who lost his laptop.
那把枪只剩一发子弹了 There's one bullet left in that gun.
等等 等等 稍等一下 Wait, wait, wait! Please, just give me a second!
我来搞定 I got this.
-罗素 -后退 回家吧 韦德 - Russell! - Stay back! Go home, Wade!
我们谈谈吧 不用这样 Let's talk. It doesn't have to go this way!
那坨狗屎... That piece of shit...
他对你做出那种事 确实死有余辜 he deserves to die for what he did to you.
他伤害了你 让你也想伤害别人 He hurt you badly. Makes you wanna hurt others.
但是如果你杀了他 他就赢了 But if you kill him, he wins.
你就成了他口中的那样 而且更坏 You become everything he says you are, but worse.
你只是个孩子 You're just a kid.
你不想伤害任何人 You don't wanna hurt anyone.
你怎么知道我的想法 How do you know what I want?
因为我一直在你心里 Because I've been inside you.
我说错了 That came out wrong.
我一直在处于你的位置[在你鞋子里] I've been inside your shoes.
这样说也不合适 Which is also off-putting.
这不是个很好的类比 It's not a great analogy.
重点是... The point is...
有人... there are people...
这个该死的世界里 There are people in this fucking world...
会有人好好待你 除了他 besides him, who will treat you right.
现在还不晚 别那样做 It isn't too late. Don't do it.
我不应该把你留在那里 I never should've left you there.
我不应该把你留在那座监狱里 I never should've left you in that prison.
我不能相信你 I can't trust you.
我不能相信任何人 I can't trust anybody!
好孩子 Wonderful kid.
你阻止不了我 韦德 You can't stop me, Wade!
我还有一个主意 I got one more idea.
这真的是个坏主意 对我也一样 It's just a really bad one, even for me.
韦德 你要干什么 Wade, what are you doing?
好吧 这对大家都好 孩子 All right. This is for all the marbles, kid!
你今天要杀人的话... You're gonna kill someone today...
赐福于那些... Blessed are the wicked...
...就杀我吧 ...then it's gotta be me.
...被我所治愈的邪恶之人 ...who are healed by my hand!
该死 Fuck this!
告诉我 刚才用了慢镜头吧 Tell me they got that in slow motion.
这可不太妙 Oh, that's not good.
不 先生 No, sir.
你为了我 牺牲了自己 You sacrificed yourself for me.
没错 Yeah.
这是我做过最棒的事 And it was the best thing I ever did.
我说过 我在乎你 I told you I care about you.
你是个好孩子 罗素 You're a good kid, Russell.
那只熊 The bear.
成功了 It worked.
因为你 Because of you.
不 韦德 因为你 No, Wade, because of you.
住手 住手 Stop, stop, stop!
住手 Stop!
就这样吧 好吗 Just let it happen, okay?
我的心终于放对了地方 I guess my heart was finally in the right place.
那个字谜真难懂 That riddle is so fucked up.
抱歉 抱歉 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
别这样 别这样 Don't be. Don't be.
我寻死很久了 I've been trying to make this happen for a while.
求你了 不要离开我 Please, just don't leave me.
我不想孤独死去 I don't wanna die without an audience.
我们不会离开的 We are not going anywhere.
天啊 我希望奥斯卡评委在看 Oh, God, I hope the Academy is watching.
好好休息吧 好吗 Just rest, okay?
爸爸 Papa.
*爸爸 你能听到我吗* *Papa, can you hear me?*
*爸爸 你能在夜里找到我吗* *Papa, can you find me in the night*
在我死之前... Before I go...
抱歉 我还有话要说 Sorry, I got a bit more in me.
多米诺 Domino.
我想给你我的探险时光手表 I want you to have my Adventure Time watch.
结果证明我才是幸运的人 Turns out that I'm the lucky one.
谢谢 Thank you.
少女女巫塞布丽娜 Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
我更喜欢你短发 I liked you better with your hair short.
大家应该也是 Think everyone did.
-你好 雪绪 -你好 韦德 - Hi, Yukio. - Hi, Wade!
还有你... And you...
铬骨 Chrome Bone.
我对你来说算不上最好的朋友 I haven't always been the best friend to you.
但你是我最好的朋友 But you've always been that to me.
谢谢你 So thank you.
为我说一次"操"吧 Say "Fuck" for me.
就一次 拜托 Just once. Come on,
我们一起说吧 没什么大不了 We'll do it together. It's no big deal.
来吧 一 二 三 操... Here we go. One, two, three. F... F... F...
操 Fuck.
很享受啊 大臭嘴 Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.
还有你 电索 And you, Cable.
你回去找你的家人 韦德向他们问好 You get back to your family. You tell 'em Wade says hi.
答应我 答应我一件事 And promise me. Promise me one thing.
你不会再基于人的肤色 That you'll start judging people...
评判一个人 not by the color of their skin,
而是基于他们的性格内涵 but by the content of their character.
-天啊 -罗素老兄 - Jesus. - R-Dog?
你在这里 There you are. Hey!
你现在是超级英雄了 朋友 You're a superhero now, bubba.
所以现在是你拥有超级装备的时候了 That's why it's high time that you had a super suit.
这个给你了 This one is yours.
你也许想用蒸汽清洗一下 You might wanna get it steam cleaned.
特别是裤裆周围 Especially around the pants.
把腰部放宽一点 And let it out a little in the waist.
不过 But, hey.
听着 Look.
家庭不是脏话 Family is not an F-word.
是吧 All right?
总会有你的家 There's one out there for you.
继续找 好吗 Just keep looking, okay?
伙计们 有那么一阵子... Guys, for a second there...
我们成了很好的团队 we made a pretty good team.
好舍不得死 Oh, it's so hard to go.
我太喜欢跟你们在一起了 I just love being around you guys so much.
真的 So, so much.
不 我现在能感觉到了 开始了 No, I can feel it now. Here it comes, yeah.
我感觉灵魂正在离开我的躯体 I feel the soul exiting the husk.
没错 Yeah.
你们能看到吗 Can you see it?
你们看到美丽又明亮的光了吗 Do you see that beautiful bright light?
就在那里 There it is.
那是太阳 Oh, that's the sun.
别直接盯着看 Don't stare directly into that.
我还有最后几句话 I just have a few final words.
啄木鸟 Woodpecker.
齿龈炎 Gingivitis.
胡说八道 Codswallop.
你们想堆雪人吗 Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
抱歉 我迟到了 Sorry I'm late.
有很多 There was a bunch
残疾儿童被困在树上 of handicapable children who were stuck in a tree.
-不 -不 - No. - No.
-但我真的要帮助一个孩子 -没错 - But I did have to help a kid. - Yeah.
-他有个很糟糕的名字 -太糟糕了 - He's got a terrible name. - It's just awful.
我试图告诉他了 I tried to tell him.
这是天堂吗 Is this heaven?
现在是了 It is now.
很抱歉 I am so sorry.
没关系 It's okay.
我好想你 I missed you so much.
怎么了 怎么回事 What is it? What's wrong?
时候未到 It's not time.
时候未到是什么意思 What do you mean it's not time?
我来了 我做到了 I'm here, I made it.
-你不能留在这里 -不不不 - You can't stay. - No, no, no.
我要留下 我不要去其它没有你的地方 I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere without you.
没事的 It's okay.
我们的时候会到的 但不是现在 There's a time for us. It's just not now.
-他们需要你 -谁 - They need you. - Who?
你的脏话[家庭] Your F-word.
为什么 Why?
你会知道的 You'll find out.
没事 我会在这里 It's all right. I'll be here.
这里真的很棒 It's pretty fucking awesome over here.
我想要的都能得到 I can have anything I want.
每天都能是国际妇女节吗 Can every day be International Women's Day?
这是天堂 It is heaven.
我爱你 I love you.
我知道 我也爱你 I know. I love you, too.
快走吧 Now, go.
走吧 走吧 离开这里 Go on. Go, get out of here.
走吧 Go.
像你很想我一样地亲我 红红 Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
来吧 Well, come here.
别跟猫王上床 Don't fuck Elvis.
-太晚了 -什么意思 - Ooh, too late. - I'm sorry?
是时候嗨起来了 Time to make the chimichangas.
30秒 30 seconds.
我一直想问你... Hey. Been meaning to ask you...
你为什么带着那个吓人又脏兮兮的玩具熊 what's with the creepy, dirty hobo bear?
那是我女儿的泰迪熊 It's my daughter's teddy bear.
她的名字叫希望 Her name's Hope.
好吧... Well...
你这是干什么 What are you doing?
有的人喜欢上人家了啊 Somebody swiped right.
快进
播放
告诉我 刚才用了慢镜头吧 Tell me they got that in slow motion.
为了我 你牺牲了自己 You sacrificed yourself for me.
好像我... It would seem I...
如假包换 高端铅币 Genuine, high-grade lead.
你这个穿越时空的混蛋 You time-sliding son of a bitch!
你为了我穿越时空了吗 You did this for me?
等等 你回不去了 Wait. You can't go back.
你用了最后的燃料 You used the last of your fuel.
你女儿和妻子怎么办 What about your girl, your wife?
现在我的家人安全了 另外 我不是为了你 Now, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you.
不 我还要再待一段时间 No, I'm gonna stick around for a while...
确保这个世界 and make sure the world
不会自行毁灭 doesn't shit itself into oblivion.
不 你是为了我 No. You did it for me.
不 我没有 No, I didn't.
-你就有 -我真没有 - You did. - I really didn't.
-我很确定你有 -不 我肯定我没有 - Pretty sure you did. - No, I'm positive I didn't.
好吧 好吧 那我们丢硬币 好吗 Fine. All right, let's flip a coin. Okay?
如果是正面 你是为了我 反面 你也是为了我 Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me.
我不会看的 因为你就是为了我 I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me.
再说一遍 Say it again.
-他为了我 -天啊 - He did it for me. - Jesus.
-我们必须把项圈拿下来 -别想了 没用的 - We must get the collar off. -Forget it. It's no use.
这些项圈不会松开的 These collars don't just come off.
韦德 Wade.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
不不不 不要那样做 拜托 No, no, no! Let's not do that. Please!
我宁愿死于癌症 别... I'd rather die of cancer. Let's just...
天啊 人们说笔比剑更让人讨厌 Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword.
我们需要密码 We need the code.
试试7 Try, uh, seven?
别闹了 幸运队长 Settle down, Captain Lucky.
不可能是一个数字的 It's not gonna be one number.
天啊 编剧真是够懒 Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
我还是很厉害 I still got it.
把那东西放回你的监狱传统储物处里 Put that back in your prison wallet.
我不知道怎么感谢你们 I don't know how to thank you.
但我知道怎么拥抱你们 But I do know how to hug you.
-不 -来吧 - No. - Yes.
来吧 来 Here we go. Bring it in.
来吧 Come on.
骨盆对骨盆 Pelvis to pelvis.
我们头挨着头 Let's go tip to tip.
来吧 孩子们称之为"对接" There we go. The kids call this docking.
有刀插在我小弟弟上吗 Is there a knife in my dick?
-有刀插在你小弟弟上 -我得退后了 - There's a knife in your dick. - I'm just gonna back up now.
-没错 -没必要这样火力全开 - Yeah, yeah. - No need to go full Yentl.
假装从来没有发生过 Gonna pretend like that never happened.
我们回家吧 罗素 Let's go home, Russell.
你们这些恶心的变种人 All you dirty mutants
将跟这个男孩一起在地狱腐烂 are gonna rot in hell with the boy!
你们的灵魂无法救赎了 Your souls are beyond redemption!
让我们看看你的灵魂 变态 Let's see your soul, perv!
不不不 不要这样 我们没那么糟糕 No, no! No! No more! We're better than that!
我们比他好多了 We're better than him!
不再有无意义的暴力了 不再有流血了 No more senseless violence! No more bloodshed!
我们让他等报应吧 We'll let karma take care of him.
审判的时候到了 The day of reckoning is here!
我会想他的 他人好像很不错 I'm gonna miss him. He seemed great.
勇气 混蛋们 Courage, motherfuckers!
还有报应 混蛋 And karma, motherfucker.
最后30秒的时候 我听到你来了 I could hear you coming the last 30 seconds.
我差点没忍住笑出来 I could barely keep a straight face.
我还要 I want some more.
那是肯定的 棕豹 I bet you do, Brown Panther.
我们应该在红混蛋醒来前离开 We should leave before Fuckernaut wakes up.
好主意 你们跟我们一起吗 Good call. You guys coming with us?
不了 我们要把孩子们送回宅子 No, we'll get the kids back to the mansion.
另外 我们是X战警 Besides, we're X-Men.
不 你是X人 No, you're X-People.
你真让人心累 You're exhausting.
我知道你是说俏皮话 I see what you did there. Puns.
我们的大门永远为你敞开 Our door's always open.
太好了 但我还没准备好再约会 That's kind, but I'm not ready to date again.
更不用说跟两个女人了 Let alone two women.
天啊 你真是个混蛋 God, you're a douche.
-再见 韦德 -再见 雪绪 - Bye, Wade! - Bye, Yukio!
最后能有什么呢 What do you get
在你的队伍里有八英尺的铬... when you take eight feet of chrome...
一点勇气... one pinch of courage...
一点好运气... a cup of good luck...
一点种族歧视... a dab of racism...
一点糖尿病... a splash of diabetes...
还有一个四期癌症病人时 and a wheelbarrow full of stage four cancer?
答案是一家人 Answer: a family.
看到没 我对于电影类型没有撒谎 See? I didn't lie what kind of film this was.
如果说今天你学到了什么... If there's anything you take away today...
除了要去谷歌"回响贝斯是什么" other than the need to Google, "What the fuck is dubstep?"...
那就是我们都需要归属于某个人 it's that we all need to belong to someone.
如此小的东西如何产生 How something so small generates
足够的能量让时间倒流... enough energy to reverse time is...
修好它就行了 十一 Oh, just fix it, Eleven,
《怪奇物语》女主
苹果直营店维修处
不然我要把它拿去天才吧 or I'll take it to the Genius Bar.
电索知道的话会杀了你的 Cable's gonna kill you when he finds out.
从来没听说过他 Never heard of him.
我为什么要帮他呢 Why do you think I'm helping him?
上帝的行事方式很神秘 The Lord works in mysterious ways,
不是吗 再见了 don't I? A good day.
再见 韦德 Bye, Wade!
再见 雪绪 Bye, Yukio!
这可能不是个好主意 That was probably a bad idea.
我们做了什么 What have we done?
希望我们磨快了奶油干酪涂抹刀 I hope we sharpened the cream cheese spreader.
我马上回来 I'll be right back!
我们一定要给我们的孩子取名雪儿 We're definitely naming our kid Cher!
皮特 Peter!
X特工队 X-Force!
走开 快走开 Walk away! Just walk away!
-但我们是X特工队 -不 我们不是 - But we're X-Force! - Nope! We're not.
X特工队只是一个营销工具 X-Force is just a marketing tool
是福斯高管设计出来 designed by Fox executives...
让乔什·布洛林不失业的 to keep Josh Brolin employed.
其实根本不存在 It doesn't exist.
好吧 那还真是吓人 All right, well, this has been pretty scary!
而且我得去喂我的猫了 And I need to feed my cat!
回家吧 小甜心 回家吧 Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.
好 你把我的邮箱地址给多米诺好吗 Okay. Will you give Domino my email?
韦德 是你吗 Wade, is that you?
《X战警》系列的主要反派之一
看来史崔克终于 I guess Stryker finally
想办法让你闭嘴了 figured out how to shut you up.
是我 不要惊慌 Hey! It's me! Don't scratch!
只是在整理时间线 Just cleaning up the timelines!
听着 终有一天你会收起爪子 Look, eventually you're going to hang up the claws...
而那会让很多人很伤心 and it's gonna make a lot of people very sad.
但有一天你的老伙计韦德会让你 But one day, your old pal Wade's gonna ask you...
再重回马背冲锋陷阵 to get back in the saddle again.
到那时候 记得答应 And when he does, say yes.
知道了 Oh, right.
爱你 Love you!
我天 真棒 Goddamn, that's beautiful.
《绿灯侠》
不客气 加拿大 You're welcome, Canada.
我去 Boy howdy.
你好 这是个小坏蛋 Hi. This is a toughie.
哎呦 Yeesh.
很好 你已经开始练习敬礼了啊 Oh, yes. You're already practicing your salute, huh?
没错 我们会处理的 是不是 Yes, you are. Well, we'll take care of that, won't we?
天啊 这比我想象中难多了 Jesus Christ! This is so much harder than I thought.
我真受不了了 Oh, I'm going to hell.
我们两个都是 That makes two of us.
你可以的 You can do this.
太疯狂了 太疯狂了 This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.
好了 All right.
阿道夫·希特勒 1889年4月20日
尽力而为 Maximum effort.
没事了 乖 That's okay. Let me see here.
天啊 Oh, God.
所以才说你是个小坏蛋 That's why you're such a little bastard.
没人给你换过尿布 No one's ever changed you.
屁屁都被屎尿粘住了 是不是 Yeah, you got a big, old stinky in there, don't you?
天啊 闻起来像希特勒的屁股 God, it smells like Hitler's anus...
这么说很对 是吧 好了 which would makes sense, wouldn't it? Yeah.
我们都知道 I think we both know
我没那么狠心下手 I don't have what it takes to do this...
所以我会快速给你换个尿布 so I'm just gonna change your diaper real quick...
然后回去找我的朋友电索一起来 and then I'm gonna come back with my friend, Cable.
他特别喜欢杀小孩子 He loves killing kids.