"Little RED RODENT HOOD"
It's bedtime, Teeny. Let's put on your sleepers.
Will you tell me a bedtime story, Granny? Will you, huh, Granny?
Tell me a real scary one, will you, Granny? Will you, huh?
All right, all right. Off to bed.
[MATCHES] Well, let's see now.
Tell me a real long one, huh, Granny? A real long one.
All right, all right. Don't interrupt.
Now... Oh, yes.
Once upon a time, long, long ago...
there was a little girl called Red Riding Hood.
And they called her Red Riding Hood because she always wore a red cape.
One day, Red Riding Hood set out to see her grandma.
Oh, she was very happy as she tripped gaily through the wildflowers.
And as she approached the deep, dark forest,
she did not know that lurking in its shadows was the Big Bad Wolf.
Well, suffering succotash, a tasty little morsel.
[TO GRANDMAS HOUSE]
Grandma's house, eh?
Well, I'll take the shortcut through the woods.
Aw, come on, you guys. Scram!
Go find your own fairy story.
I told you this wouldn't work.
Everybody wants to get into the act.
- Cigarette? - I don't smoke.
Beat it.
Come in, Little Re...
Come in, Little Red Riding Hood.
If I'd have known you were coming, I'd have baked a chee, chee, cheesecake.
My, Granny, what big bags you have under your big bloodshot eyes.
And Granny, what a big red nose you got.
The better to sniff you with.
And my, what big teeth you've got.
That's the line I've been waiting for. That's my cue line.
The better to eat you with.
[BUTTER]
Open the door. Open it up, I say!
Or I'll huff and I'll pu, pu, puff,
and I'll blow your house down!
Okay, so I won't blow your house down.
I'll do better than that.
I'll blow it up.
Yes, who is it?
I'm your fairy godmother. I've come to grant you a wish.
Really? Well, um, I wish, uh...
No, I don't want that. Um...
Come on, step on it.
I got a lot of fairy-godmothering to do.
Okay, I got a wish. Tap me.
Now, for the magic words,
R-A-G-G.
M-O-P-P.
What's this?
Must have blown a fuse or something.
It's a fake. Nothing happens.
What do you mean, nothing happens?
Aha. Now I gotcha.
[US] Stick them up!
And there was poor Little Red Riding Hood trapped in her own house,
because waiting outside her door, was the Big Bad Wolf.
Ready to pounce on her if she ever came out.
What happened, Granny? What did she do?
Well, luckily Little Red Riding Hood found a large firecracker
left over from the Fourth of July.
So she lit it and tossed it right out where he was.
Gee, Granny, I bet that blew him all up.
You're not just whistling Dixie, brother.
"That's all Folks!"